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Share Bear posted:salesforce is enterprise jira for salespeople and somehow not acquired by SAP yet
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Apr 29, 2019 20:43
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Boiled Water posted:and somehow not acquired by SAP yet salesforce market cap is 165 billion dollars
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Apr 29, 2019 22:09
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failsfarce
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Apr 29, 2019 22:31
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Pryor on Fire posted:For like 10 years there were a lot of people who did a real good job of putting the words "java" and "enterprise" really close together a lot of the time and my wires are still all crossed because of this bullshit Did you know that Java is running on over 3 billion devices?
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Apr 29, 2019 22:48
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Lambert posted:Did you know that Java is running on over 3 billion devices? Someone had better get after them! 
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Apr 29, 2019 23:00
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Share Bear posted:salesforce is enterprise jira for salespeople loving thank you. i've been wondering wtf this was for years
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Apr 30, 2019 00:08
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graph posted:there's a piece of software here that upon restart randomly assigns the licensing port from 1-65500 hey ours does that too (probably both using flexLM SDK I guess?) it's not completely random because I've only had to forward a few hundred ports so far
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Apr 30, 2019 09:15
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Service Now just started emailing us all when we have 30, 15 and 5 days left on our password expiry edit: haha, to manage notification settings you have to login to the OLD service now, not the current "modern UI" one ~Coxy fucked around with this message at 09:23 on Apr 30, 2019 |
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Apr 30, 2019 09:18
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The 'Enterprise' level HP SureStore P9500 Disk Array is managed by a pre-installed onboard management server running Vista. No, I'm not even loving joking.
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Apr 30, 2019 19:27
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~Coxy posted:hey ours does that too nope its proprietary e: we do have one that uses flexlm but its got a shite web frontend and if you dont explicity click a checkbox somewhere itll random assign on reboot
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Apr 30, 2019 19:41
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Rivethead posted:The 'Enterprise' level HP SureStore P9500 Disk Array is managed by a pre-installed onboard management server running Vista. No, I'm not even loving joking. that is impressively gross
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Apr 30, 2019 19:49
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enterprise grade means day to day tasks require using a web-based management console written in a 12 year old version of java that shits itself if you use anything besides IE6 with all the security options disabled
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Apr 30, 2019 20:33
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Wouldn't you like to know? Scroll down for pricing Call us for a quote
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Apr 30, 2019 20:40
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written in vb6 by the owners nephew using whatever trial version of a Janus Grid* active X control that started displaying nag screens three months after it was deployed because the owner was too cheap to spend the $200. salesmen have been clicking away the “you need to register” message from the invoice screen for over twenty five years * http://www.janusys.com Coffee Jones fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Apr 30, 2019 |
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Apr 30, 2019 21:01
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Rivethead posted:The 'Enterprise' level HP SureStore P9500 Disk Array is managed by a pre-installed onboard management server running Vista. No, I'm not even loving joking. Hewlett-Packard Enterprise Division posted:Does your data center fear a catastrophic failure? Designed for organizations that simply cannot afford any downtime, HP XP P9500 Storage combines a high-performance, online-scalable, fully redundant hardware platform with unique data replication capabilities integrated with clustering solutions for complete business continuity.
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Apr 30, 2019 21:17
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enterprise means the feature comparison page will compare the product to other products you've never heard of before, and it still doesn't explain what it does
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Apr 30, 2019 21:25
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the program icon looks like it was drawn by a 2 year old in mspaint, and the founder/ceo will fire anyone who dares to criticize it because he's very proud of it.
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Apr 30, 2019 21:28
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enterprise grade means paying too much money for software you can't pay your employees enough money to use
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Apr 30, 2019 21:51
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the documentation still contains references to windows 3.1
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Apr 30, 2019 22:43
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Sweevo posted:the documentation still contains references to windows 3.1 true enterprise-grade software has the absolute thinnest documentation and requires you to go to the vendor's expensive training classes or hire consultants to actually do anything with it
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Apr 30, 2019 23:09
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pointsofdata posted:enterprise grade means that none of the people selling or buying the product have or will ever use it. word. to elaborate, "enterprise-grade" ensures that the people in your organization who have to use the product and the people in your organization who decided to deploy said product are completely disjoint sets. by implication, "enterprise-grade" means that the user interface factors approximately zero into the purchasing decision. since the UI has a negligible effect on the product's marketability, there is no lower bound on how terrible it can be.
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Apr 30, 2019 23:52
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enterprise grade means running in an unresizeable 800x600 window in 2019
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May 1, 2019 00:07
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enterprise grade means everything is in a tiny unchangeable 8pt font that looked fine in 1996
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May 1, 2019 00:08
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enterprise grade means search results are displayed in an unresizeable, unsortable 3 row high panel and you're expected to scroll three at a time through all 1000
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May 1, 2019 00:11
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enterprise grade means running on a windows 98 box that is deliberately not connected to the rest of the network
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May 1, 2019 00:12
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enterprise grade means a near 10 minute startup time, every time, for a program that hundreds of people in your organization use on a daily basis
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May 1, 2019 00:14
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op if you want to find out more just talk to your sales rep about it
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May 1, 2019 00:19
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SO DEMANDING posted:true enterprise-grade software has the absolute thinnest documentation and requires you to go to the vendor's expensive training classes or hire consultants to actually do anything with it also if any of your employees get good enough such that you no longer need the consultants the company will poach them as a consultant
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May 1, 2019 00:25
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my two big takeaways so far re. enterprise grade software:
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May 1, 2019 00:45
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President Beep posted:my two big takeaways so far re. enterprise grade software: Please don’t sign with your mother’s “...dating...” strategies.
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May 1, 2019 01:30
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:It also means, we have this untested/experimental NEW THING we want to sell you! enterprise means someone sold a sales engineer's 20% time project as a core product feature
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May 1, 2019 03:21
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enterprise means the vendor has employees with the title "sales engineer" (it's me, i work for the enterprise vendor)
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May 1, 2019 03:22
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I like the open source products that now sell an enterprise version as well ansible tower, puppet ent, hashicorp...everything Literally the open source functionality in the flimsiest wrapper of new features and "support" for hundreds of thousands/year.
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May 1, 2019 03:35
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jimmyjams posted:enterprise grade means search results are displayed in an unresizeable, unsortable 3 row high panel and you're expected to scroll three at a time through all 1000 lol if there's a search mechanism that does anything at all
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May 1, 2019 03:47
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my favorite enterprise grade program was the one i used which had a memory usage bar in the bottom corner. started the day at about 150mb used, and when it got to 500mb, it would crash.
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May 1, 2019 05:57
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we have an enterprise grade program we have to use for documents. if you have it open on your laptop and you're on battery it goes from 7-8 hours of use to < 1.
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May 1, 2019 15:11
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enterprise grade means its 20 years out of date and still incompatible between brands i have a few enterprise grade fibre connections that wont run 100mb duplex with my gear, so i have to run them though a switch to duplex properly
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May 1, 2019 16:39
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enterprise grade means that it uses a parallel port dongle for licensing
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May 1, 2019 16:49
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my first programming gig i was the last dev/IT man standing and the company sold part of the company off and the buyers came in and converted all the servers to a small handful of VMWare machines, except the print server we used required a parallel port dongle, which couldn't be emulated. it was my last week at that point and I just said 'lol' and stopped coming in because gently caress if I'm going to help with that.
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May 1, 2019 16:51
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i worked for a school in 2001 and the entire school was managed using some terrible all-in-one "school management solution", which was basically a huge flat database (in a late-80s version of dbase) with hundreds of fields and a suite of editor programs all clearly written and designed by people who never communicated with each other. parts of it were still dos-based. just adding a new student and assigning them to classes took 15-20 minutes and required running five different programs.
Sweevo fucked around with this message at 18:19 on May 3, 2019 |
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May 1, 2019 16:58
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