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5. Scarecrow (2013) Watched On: Tubi TV  I'm 2-2 on movies featuring scarecrows so far after this one. A largely boring piece of made for ScyFy schlock that I would argue doesn't so much feature a scarecrow as a monster made out of roots or vines or some poo poo. I wish I had a little more to say about this but it was largely forgettable. I guess maybe the most interesting thing about this is that it's part of a 27 title series of "natural horror films" produced for ScyFy called, The Maneater Series. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maneater_(film_series) 1 out of 5. Boooooring.
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May 11, 2019 19:36
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 8) Return of the Living Dead After that lovely Puppet Master movie I needed a palate cleanser badly. I haven't watched this since I was a kid and I guess it was really lost on me back then just how awfully cheesy it is. Like, there's low budget, and then there's this. But I wouldn't have it any other way and I love Tarman forever.  / 5
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May 11, 2019 20:28
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Overlord (2018) Just the platonic ideal of a good-rear end movie. Action, blood, characters that matter and have personalities and arcs, it's not concerned with any broader themes than just telling a single, grisly story, while keeping the stakes both high (Securing D-Day) and personal (saving the kid). Add in some of the best monster effects in a while and you sum up to a perfect afternoon flick. 1. A Serbian Film 2. Beyond the Gates 3.DOOM 4. Zombieland 5. Friday the 13th (2009) 6. TAG 7. The Finishing Line 8. The Village 9. Overlord
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May 11, 2019 21:35
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8.) The Town That Deaded Sundown  1976, first watch, Amazon Prime The sleepy town of 1940s Texarkana is terrorized by a phantom killer. This is an odd little entry in the history of the masked killer: A faux documentary of the "real" events of a fictionalized retelling of real events. The narration seems a little out of place, but it's got a purpose - introducing us to the "character" of the titular town that comes to dread sundown. The opening narration gives us a sense of the economic and social fabric of Texarkana, and the narrated segments repeatedly highlight the community's reaction to the murders. We don't really get that for, say, Crystal Lake, and only peripherally for Haddonfield. Even changing continents doesn't spare me from comic interludes, however - in this case, our comic relief is a bumbling cop played by director-producer Charles Pierce. It's an odd decision, and I think I'd need more vision on film of the late 70s to make sense of why he opted to include it. Imagine the CSI episode where they have to figure out the murder weapon for Cindy Butler's character. You think I'm gonna let the sonovabitch come in and fondle 'em before I blow his head off? Watched: 1.) Jason X 2.) Tumbbad* 3.) Child's Play 4.) Suspiria (2018) 5.) 3 A.M.* 6.) 465* 7.) Dora* 8.) The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976) [5 first watches, 4 foreign] [Goal: 13+ movies, 7+ firsts, 4+ foreign.] Five Eyes fucked around with this message at 22:47 on May 11, 2019 |
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May 11, 2019 22:45
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 The Alphabet Killer is bad. It claims to be based on a true story, but really it only uses a couple small details from a real serial killer case. Just enough that they can claim to be based on a true story, but still enough to make it gross that they're using actual human deaths to sell this boring Eliza Dushku movie The movie is plodding and dull and lifeless. I have nothing positive to say about it and coming up with any specific negative thing to say about it would require more energy than I have left after sitting through The Alphabet Killer I looked it up on Wikipedia after I watched it and lol quote:The film had a limited theatrical release in the United States on Friday, November 7, 2008 when it was released in 2 theaters, only in New York.[6] As of December 14, 2008, the film's domestic earnings are $29,784 while it grossed $76,812 in the foreign markets for a worldwide total of $106,596.
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May 11, 2019 22:46
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3. Gremlins 2: The New Batch: oh my god this movie rules. I’m still processing all the insanity. This reminds me a bit of movies like Airplane! in that if a joke doesn’t hit, there’ll be one right after it that does. But almost all of them do hit. The 4th wall breaking Hulk Hogan cameo is amazing.
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May 11, 2019 22:57
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Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:3. Gremlins 2: The New Batch: oh my god this movie rules. I’m still processing all the insanity. This reminds me a bit of movies like Airplane! in that if a joke doesn’t hit, there’ll be one right after it that does. But almost all of them do hit. The 4th wall breaking Hulk Hogan cameo is amazing. I'm a little too young to have seen the movie in theaters, but I'm told by people who did that everyone thought that was for real until the shadow puppets come in.
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May 11, 2019 23:05
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6. House of Purgatory (2016) Watched On: Tubi TV  Based on a premise I'm sure everyone has heard, a haunted attraction so scary that they'll actually pay you if you can make it through the whole thing or even just certain parts. Movies based around Halloween lore are my jam so I figured why not? At first I expected a relatively fun romp with teens getting spooked and messed with in a haunted house that turned out to be real, instead I got something a little different. This movie tries to tackle issues like repressed homosexuality, teen pregnancy/abortion, the dangers of drinking and driving and overcoming childhood sexual abuse. I've never had these issues myself so I will admit I'm not qualified to speak on any of them in a meaningful way, but I really don't think this movie handled them with any grace. At the end our leads are all literally or metaphorically taken to hell for their transgressions instead of having a chance to come to grips with and learn from the experience. This is flat out the film version of a Christian scare house and that idea makes me pissed as hell I spent time watching this. But, that's gonna happen sometimes so it'll pass quick. 1/5. Don't waste your time.
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May 11, 2019 23:11
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Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:3. Gremlins 2: The New Batch: oh my god this movie rules. I’m still processing all the insanity. This reminds me a bit of movies like Airplane! in that if a joke doesn’t hit, there’ll be one right after it that does. But almost all of them do hit. The 4th wall breaking Hulk Hogan cameo is amazing. Is this your first time seeing it? My favorite part is Leonard Malton (who famously panned the first one) cameoing and talking about the first film then being attacked by gremlins
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May 11, 2019 23:37
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Shrecknet posted:Is this your first time seeing it? Yep, I’m trying to do all first watches for the month. This is one of the most delightfully insane movies I’ve seen.
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May 11, 2019 23:59
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Taking a brief pause before going on with my reviews. I swear, I've rewritten this bit at least a few times and it still feels like it needs Nazareth's Love Hurts playing in the background. I think most of us can agree that Empire/Full Moon films have a distinct flavor. Kinda like when you're jonesing for a Troma film, nothing else will do; when you're craving that Empire/Full Moon taste, nothing else'll do. And drat, when Empire/Full Moon's good, it's awesome. Re-Animator, Ghoulies, From Beyond, Trancers...hell, we probably can quote the entire movies between us. Even when they're not being awesome, they can still pull off goodtime fun like the Puppetmaster or Dollman films. That's why I chose Empire/Full Moon films for my May Ironman challenge, I knew no matter whether I'd seen a film before or not, I was in for a good time. Well....well...poo poo. Some of the films I've sat through have been so bad I can't even dig out my 'this sucks so hard it blows' joke. Never thought I'd say it but some have been an honest endurance slog to make it through. With that said, going from what I've sat through, it's like the drop starts as the 90s head to a close with very few films being worth it after 2000. Don't get me started on that Littlest Reich movie. It's with a heavy heart that I have to say that I've finally discovered a level below 'awful' and 'unwatchable'. It's 'so bad you can't even pull off a parody of yourself with bad films from better days'.  39) Totem - 1999 - Youtube Overall, not bad though it felt like they were surprised they had to come up with an ending and halfassed it on a Bioware level. Six people are compelled to go to a cabin in the woods. There, they're trapped to either perform or stop a ritual that will activate small totem statues that will herald the end of the world. Story's decent enough but the ending feels not only rushed but 'meh'.  40) The Evil Clergyman - 1987/2012 - DVD Interesting backstory with this one. It was originally made back in '87 as part of the Empire Films Pulse Pounders anthology, but with the chaos ensuing as Empire was going bankrupt, the workprint for this 'went missing'. It remained missing until a workprint copy turned up and was shipped off for restoration. So, what we have here is a substantial portion of the Re-Animator cast and crew fresh and fiery a few years off from that classic in another Lovecraft adaptation. Granted that it's one pretty much in name only with a young woman looking into the suicide of her excommunicated clergyman lover, but who cares. It's old school Empire rocking it out of the park again.
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May 12, 2019 00:21
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6. Hellraiser dir. Clive Barker (1987) I hate it when demons perform ancient, sinister rites to get me to bust my load! the worst! Deeply respect how horny this is. Once Frank is gotten rid of before the last few scenes it gets a little too goofy for its own good but up until then it balances menacing atmosphere with very fun practical effects. I especially liked Clare Higgins as the lead, and how haplessly nice Andrew Robinson is as her husband. It was weird they decided to re-dub like half of the cast after filming though, according to Wikipedia was because the studio wanted to change the setting to America. Seems like that added nothing but made some lines of dialogue make less sense but oh well, studio! 3.5 unfortunate rats out of 5 Watched: 1. Noroi 4/5, 2. Mandy 3.5/5, 3. The Stuff 4/5, 4. Gozu 3.5/5, 5. Dark Water 3/5 6. Hellraiser 3.5/5
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May 12, 2019 00:49
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TheBizzness posted:My favorite baseball player isn’t the best baseball player and Henry is probably better than Maniac, but I personally like Maniac more. It's certainly a lot more fun. Well, insofar as that a film about a women-killing serial murderer can be fun, I suppose. Shrecknet posted:Is this your first time seeing it? "Just kidding! A ten, it's a ten!" If you've got a few minutes, here's Maltin himself telling the story of how he ended up in Gremlins 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd8ktdcdzcc
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May 12, 2019 00:55
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Revenge (2017) It's tough to describe any visceral, explicit rape-revenge flick as "fantastic," but holy hell is this movie everything you'd ever want in such a thing. The French New Extremity is alive and well in this almost parodically over-the-top hyperviolence. I thought the Bugs Bunny-level cat-and-mouse at the end goes just a little long in the tooth, but goodness this movie just oozes style and swagger, and if you can handle it, you're in for a cheat. The Ritual (2017) What if the Blair Witch Project didn't bother with the artifice of reality via the found-footage format? The Ritual answers that question by being the best version of a haunted-woods tale. It hits all the tropes - murderous hillbillies, a giant monster, haunted cabins - but never, ever tries to undercut its own wholly-earned seriousness over the affairs. And that monster design! It's like something out of a Hard-R version of Spirited Away, transplanted to Sweden. I love the ever-so-slow reveal, as with each of their encounters they see just a bit more of the Jötunn. This is up there with Lake Mungo for me right now as just a masterclass in nailing the tone and the atmosphere to the point that slightly-dodgy plot just doesn't factor in. 1. A Serbian Film 2. Beyond the Gates 3.DOOM 4. Zombieland 5. Friday the 13th (2009) 6. TAG 7. The Finishing Line 8. The Village 9. Overlord 10. Revenge 11. The Ritual
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May 12, 2019 02:40
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Friday the 13th, Part III This is not in any way a good movie. Steve Miner is a terrible director (the shot when Rick gets thrown through the window couldn't be more telegraphed if you tried), the script is abysmal and most of it is ugly, photography-wise. It's also incredibly weirdly paced. It opens with a pair of kills, then we go to a bunch of teens in a van, it gets grisly pretty quick, then it's dead-silent until the final half-hour of carnage. Also, the bits where they were trying to emphasize the 3D stick out like a sore thumb. That said, this is where the series started to find its footing in trashy horror. Jason is finally the Jason that we all know, the "final girl" kicks rear end. I think this is also the movie from which Kevin Williamson drew much of his inspirations for Scream. All in all, not good, but I liked it a fair bit more than Part II, which is just a more nasty remake of the first movie.
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May 12, 2019 02:47
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I'll be doing these as a digest tomorrow but man Tubi.tv is ROUGH. Rough stuff.
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May 12, 2019 04:08
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9.) Noroi: The Curse  2005, rewatch, Shudder via Amazon Prime Mysteriously-missing paranormal investigator Kobayashi (Jin Muraki) has assembled footage and interviews from diverse sources, piecing together the story of a baleful forgotten entity from an obscure village. This is great. It's satisfying to watch the various threads of the story of Kagutaba come together, and each strand has its own scenes and elements. This lets you get some time away from the "thread A" stuff while you're watching "thread B", so the eventual moment when stuff comes back or is explained is more meaningful. This is my third watch and I still hardly noticed the two hour runtime. Noroi has layers of texture - a mixture of clips from trash TV and variety shows, interviews, surveillance of the afflicted, and archival footage and documents. It's a great gimmick, and I'd love to see more of Shiraishi's work in this vein (I've only managed to watch Shirome. Why isn't Sadako vs Kayako done this way?) I guess it's too late for all of us. Watched: 1.) Jason X 2.) Tumbbad* 3.) Child's Play 4.) Suspiria (2018) 5.) 3 A.M.* 6.) 465* 7.) Dora* 8.) The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1977) 9.) Noroi: The Curse* [5 first watches, 5 foreign] [Goal: 13+ movies, 7+ firsts, 4+ foreign.]
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May 12, 2019 06:33
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For the last couple of days I haven’t really been in the mood for horror. No real reason, just not in the mood. So I decided to try a “gateway” film tonight that I wasn’t actually sure was horror but that kind of piqued my interest and I had been meaning to watch for awhile. 9. Venom (2018) Available on Starz Investigative journalist Eddie Brock has his life ruined when he asks the wrong questions to a cartoonishly evil billionaire pharma dude which somehow ends up with him embroiled in an alien invasion drama and possessed by an alien parasite who also happens to be a smarmy, sarcastic dick. Ok, so I don’t think this is a horror film. I have a pretty wide range but I think a big part of it is “what did the filmmakers have in mind” (I’m not a “Death of the Author” kind of guy, generally) and its pretty clear that these filmmakers weren’t trying to make a horror film. In fact its pretty clear that they were trying to make a MCU film. The film is the formula that everyone who hates MCU complains about when they go to see their 20th MCU film, although I’d say not done quite as well. There’s definitely some vaguely horrorish darkness to a monster eating people’s heads, but that’s actually surprising limited in the film and incredibly undermined by the choice to make Venom a wise cracking dick with an inferiority complex. Seriously… I get WHY they made that choice. Obviously they were trying to create the MCU/action lighthearted banter and Tony Stark-esque dickish hero. But it was so loving weird. I mean, that last monologue Venom delivered nearly made my eyes cross and listening to him bicker with Eddie and give him romance advice was just so… weird. I’m still gonna count it because there was a monster that ate people. And I did like the Venom action and look stuff. There just wasn’t near enough of it and they made such weird rear end choices. I mean, making the plot that Venom came to earth to eat everyone but decided to sacrifice himself for Earth because he’s kind of a loser to the other symbiotes was SO weird. If I didn’t know better I’d swear someone punted this movie and tried to make it stupid. But I know they were just trying to bleed off the MCUs and Spider-Man. They just did it so badly. It was still fundamentally watchable in the same way that so many competently made action films just keep things happening enough to keep you engaged. But it was neither a good horror film nor a good MCU film. Ok, that didn’t work out great but it did kind of get me over the hump and ready for another film. I’m still not all the way there yet so I’m gonna avoid all the big stuff and just go with another bubble film that I don’t really have a lot of expectations for. But at least I’m pretty sure this one is a horror film.  10. Winchester (2018) Available on Showtime ”Inspired by real events” an addict shrink is hired by the Winchester Rifle company to evaluate the mental fitness of its owner Sarah Winchester who is building a bizarre house of mismatched rooms and designs because she believes the souls of those killed by her family’s guns are there and need it for peace. Or something. Well I’ll say this for it, the filmmakers definitely intended to make a horror film. Matter of fact they were probably a little too determined in this case. The film is mostly what I expect, a bit of a product of the The Conjuring era. Period peace, spooky house, scary ghost, possessed kid, jump scares. Its got the same look and feel of a lot of modern films that makes it just feel very empty and processed. Its got so many jump scares early that they kind of lack context and lose their power. I’m sitting here now wondering if maybe some of the early ones were supposed to link back to the final act? I don’t know because there was just so much stuff thrown in that it felt like noise and any link between the two was severed. The Garden Room plot is another problem. Its simple and could have worked but the movie is unnecessarily coy about it even though it was kind of obvious the whole time. But obvious isn’t a problem if you spend the time telling the story and making us care about the characters so that when you DO the obvious thing it has a payoff and packs a punch. But the movie doesn’t do that and its just more noise. More people, more potential victims, more ghosts, more weird rooms. Nothing is given enough weight to matter. And then the final act story just kind of comes in an exposition dump and then plays out for far too long when we really just don’t have a reason to care. I guess Sarah Winchester and The Winchester Mystery House are a real thing and that probably more drives the comparison to The Conjuring. The end of the movie tease of a sequel just feels like someone was hoping they could kick off another franchise like the Conjuring/Warren thing by focusing on the idea of a real lady and a real house claiming to be haunted and then just run off stories of different ghosts. Its a terrible idea because it basically would mean a franchise of films set in this house, and the first one barely even tried to make the ghost story get over. But it seems fairly obvious that no one put a TON of thought into this besides just trying to capitalize on the current thing making money in horror. Now that I think about it and look at the movie poster its probably an Insidious ripoff too with the older lady spiritualist being the link to the evil spirits. This film really may be the most mass produced horror I’ve seen in a very long time. It was a bad movie but it did the job. I’m back in the mood for horror so tomorrow night I’m gonna get back on list and knock off a few ones I have big expectations for. ”Wonder How This Holds Up” PreGaming in April 1. World War Z (2013); 2. As Above, So Below (2014); 3. The Cabin in the Woods (2011); 4. The Last Exorcism (2010); 5. Trollhunter (2010); 6. The Blair Witch Project (1999); 7. Unfriended (2014); 8. Absentia (2011); 9. The Last Exorcism Part II (2013); 10. The Prophecy (1995); 11. Dawn of the Dead (1976); 12. Mandy (2018) May “New To Me/Clean Up” Marathon Watched - New (Total) 1. From Beyond (1986); 2. Train to Busan (2016); 3. Coraline (2009); 4. The Old Dark House (1932); 5. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984); 6. Apostle (2018); 7. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985); 8. Suspiria (2018); 9. Venom (2018); 10. Winchester (2018)
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May 12, 2019 07:14
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Venom at least brings back my absolute favorite thing, a rap song over the end credits explaining the plot of the movie
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May 12, 2019 13:15
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5. Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things 1972, streaming on Prime This is a tiny budgeted movie with a cast of mostly amateurs, but it makes the best with what it's got. The sequence with the zombies popping out of the potter's field is particularly fun. Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things gets a lot done compared to something like The Snarling, which had no resources so did nothing. Shout out to Alan Ormsby for capturing a very particular type of rear end in a top hat in his performance. 4/5 1. Day of the Animals | 2. The Snarling | 3. Nekromantik | 4. Wolfcop | 5. Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things
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May 12, 2019 16:53
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Timby posted:Friday the 13th, Part III I don't think it's that Williamson was specifically thinking of this film so much as that this film is such a perfect* example of the type of slasher Scream is inspired by. *perfect in the sense of hitting all the right cliches, not being a perfect movie STAC Goat posted:
I like the first third of it a lot, Tom Hardy is great and I love that the villain is a techbro. Then the quips start and the climax is a CGI blob fight, so disappointing. Watch Upgrade instead, it's a very similar plot but better in every way. gey muckle mowser fucked around with this message at 17:40 on May 12, 2019 |
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May 12, 2019 17:37
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I was really hoping Venom was gonna riff on The Darkness with the symbiote/host relationship, but Venom rarely feels like it can take charge anytime it wants, nor is the vocal performance anywhere as impressive. Made me sad. Just play The Darkness instead imo
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May 12, 2019 17:46
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 (the actual poster doesn't represent the film at all, and the art for the Mondo Macabro blu-ray is dope, so I'm using that) 12. Suddenly in the Dark (1981) (blu-ray) This is a really excellent Korean supernatural horror/thriller. A biology professor returns from a research trip collecting butterflies, and amongst the pictures he took is a slide of a strange doll. His wife Seon-hee is disturbed by it for reasons she can't explain, but they write it off as a mix-up by the lab that developed the photos. When he returns from a second trip, he brings with him a young woman from a remote village, the daughter of a shaman, who they hire as a housemaid. Seon-hee suspects her husband of having an affair with the girl, but things get strange when she discovers that the girl's only possession is the same doll from the photograph. Seon-hee becomes frightened, paranoid, and suspicious, unsure of what is real and what she is imagining. I loved this. It often has the look and feel of an Italian thriller - it's not a giallo, but I can see similarities between this and films like A Lizard in a Woman's Skin or All the Colors of the Dark, stories about a woman who feels she is either being gaslighted or going mad while creepy poo poo happens around her. There are also some semi-psychedelic visuals, mostly taking the form of camera/lens effects like a kaleidoscopic view or what looks almost like a shot through the bottom of a coke bottle. There isn't much blood or gore, the scary parts are focused on the tension in the house as Seon-hee is seemingly stalked by the creepy doll. If you are into world cinema I think this is a really good film and I recommend it. Total: 12 Watched: Hagazussa | Deep Rising | Thoroughbreds | Wolf Guy | The Old Dark House | The House that Dripped Blood | Phenomena | Brain Damage | Demons | Demons 2 | Wolfcop | Suddenly in the Dark
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May 12, 2019 17:57
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gey muckle mowser posted:I like the first third of it a lot, Tom Hardy is great and I love that the villain is a techbro. Then the quips start and the climax is a CGI blob fight, so disappointing. Watch Upgrade instead, it's a very similar plot but better in every way.
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May 12, 2019 20:13
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 41) Horrorvision - 2001 - AmazonPrime First time watch. Standard killer website film with some interesting twists, about the only negative on this one's the usual for any tech heavy film is in how painfully dated it ends up coming across such as dialup modems and back when we called it good with .gif or .jpg images for our downloaded porn.  While a product of it's time, definitely worth a watch.  42) Killer Eye - 1999 - AmazonPrime First time watch. I think the killer eyeball genre's one of the small ones. I can't think of another aside from The Crawling Eye. With this film, it's not only a killer eyeball, but a horny killer eyeball. Why is it horny? Because, that's why. I think this is one you really need to be intoxicated to watch.
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May 13, 2019 00:48
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 The first scene of this movie deserves an Oscar. Take all the awards Boyhood got and give them to the first four minutes of Ghost Ship After that it's basically a haunted house movie. But the house is a ship! Every room has it's own standard scare. And by standard I mean, like, beautiful woman turns into gross corpse, people realize they're eating maggots, standard. One thing I did appreciate was that the demon ghost had goals, and was working towards those goals. Most demon ghost movies, the demon ghost is just loving with people for the sake of loving with people. Paranormal Activity demon ghosts do poo poo the people can't even see, just because they like being creepy, I guess. But everything the demon ghost does in Ghost Ship is in service of the things it wants to achieve. Honestly, it's not great, nothing new or surprising. The ship is a creepy setting but Resident Evil Revelations did it way better. But, and it's a big but, that opening scene is enough to make you leave the movie satisfied. edit: poo poo I've been forgetting to do the list of movies I've watched Watched: The Prophecy, The Prophecy 2, The Prophecy 3, The Prophecy Uprising, The Prophecy Forsaken, Pet Sematary, Return of the Living Dead, Laserblast, The Shining, Tales From The Darkside The Movie, The Alphabet Killer, Ghost Ship Gripweed fucked around with this message at 01:34 on May 13, 2019 |
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May 13, 2019 01:27
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 9) Lizzie It was... Fine. As a character study it was a little lacking, and there was no real other substance to it. And the storytelling was a bit meandering. But I didn't hate it. / 5 10) Urban Legend You know, I remembered this being a lot better than it was. But as far as the late 90s nu-metal scary movie phase goes... It was pretty bad. / 5 11) The Ring What a cool movie. What can I say that hasn't been said? / 5 12) Society Good lord, what a movie. I'd seen it, but my girlfriend hadn't. So I got to show it to her and... Ah what a ride. / 5
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May 13, 2019 01:56
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HISSS [sic] (2010) What a waste. Every minute after the Intermission is a complete chore, and what should have been a steamy psychosexual drama (with a snake-woman terrorizing and killing her way back to her lover) is just a plodding, disjointed mess. The problem is simple, and obvious: Vikhram is our emotional center and the person supposedly investigating this rash of murders, but does literally no detective work and nothing to make us enjoy his presence. His addled mother-in-law literally blurting out in a demented haze the entire plot of the movie and the location of the bad guy is even more lazy, bad writing. One of the things you learn your first day of writing class is "what purpose does this scene serve? what do we learn about the characters, the world or the plot?" In so, so many scenes in this movie, the answer is 'nothing.' Even what should have been the impressive central action beat, a fairly unique three-way chase through the streets of Delhi, ends in an absolute wet fart of "chasee gets hit by a car and dies, revealing nothing to anyone." The whole movie is just more frustrating than bad (though it gets very bad), because it very easily could've been fantastic. Although Mallika Sherawat as Nagina was absolutely gorgeous in every shot she's in, and the requisite dance number is actually really well integrated and honestly a lot of fun, this movie could've used a lot more fun and a lot less repetition and addled mother-in-law. Fun Fact: David Lynch's daughter directed/wrote! And we now have concrete proof that talent isn't genetically transmitted! Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 02:13 on May 13, 2019 |
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May 13, 2019 02:11
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I choose all tubi.tv picks based on their titles and cover art. HELL MOUNTAIN - Sometimes a well placed logo can highlight or heighten a particular mood in a film, a very clear "Faberware" on a kitchen knife dripping with corn syrup blood is the opposite of that. Lots of indie films in general are clearly first drafts but the locations in this seem like first drafts as well. "Studio City bungalow as witch's hut" could work for a horror movie, but shooting it like sketch comedy does not work. is The best friend role in this is played by someone whose face looked familiar as hell until I realized it was Lava Girl.  STRANGE EVENTS - Usually what sinks a creepypasta (other than length) is voice, a lot of amateur writers have "sort of" ideas that would come across well if told better, used different vocabulary, consistently relayed perspective, etc. This is a series of stories that are "sort of" ideas, told in the style of something like Fuan no Tane or slimyswampghost, light on explanation, heavy on atmosphere. When translated to film, the use of mundane vernacular settings and relationships have to be keenly observed or they seem false. In a horror movie, this means contrast. The lighting in this film is bad and way too bright.  MEADOWOODS - FF movie about shithead teenagers and a pleasant surprise, clearly a take on the "Scream" murder of Casey Jo Stoddard, Skylar Neese, etc. When it steps outside of that, the thinness of the characters is a letdown - the sullen teenage girl accomplice improvises well for a very thinly written character, but one really bad character FF movies can't get enough of is dialog about how the cameraman films everything, even when the cameraman has other traits besides holding the camera. Underdeveloped but at least had some narrative momentum, at least I'm one for three.
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May 13, 2019 02:23
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:I choose all tubi.tv picks based on their titles and cover art. The only true way to select films.
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May 13, 2019 02:40
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:I choose all tubi.tv picks based on their titles and cover art. You're a braver person than most of us.
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May 13, 2019 02:41
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The least poser way to choose films is by the tagline.
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May 13, 2019 02:45
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Lurdiak posted:The least poser way to choose films is by the tagline. That's probably where I learned about Jason X. What a time.
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May 13, 2019 03:18
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Lurdiak posted:The least poser way to choose films is by the tagline. That's literally why I watched Ghost Ship.
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May 13, 2019 03:20
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Rare is the tagline I actually find appealing, they're all pretty stupid. Trailers, too, if we're being honest.
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May 13, 2019 03:22
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:Rare is the tagline I actually find appealing, they're all pretty stupid. Trailers, too, if we're being honest. Taglines are insanely stupid and now that everything is Movie: Exotic Noun they've definitely gotten scarcer, but when a movie leans into it, it's great 
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May 13, 2019 03:57
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 The Mummy’s Curse (1944) - The parade of mummy movies continues. This picks up sorta after The Mummy’s Ghost, but now we’re in a Louisiana swamp for some reason. Follows the same formula as the previous movies - the high priest needs to get Kharis and the Princess Ananka back to Cairo, but get foiled by people protecting the woman who Ananka resurrected into from the mummy, who chases her around the sets after killing a few people for whom “run” is apparently not an option. The formula is tired by this point, and this doesn’t really do much to add to it, but it does open with a song number, so it has that going for it..  Abbot and Costello Meet The Mummy - Finishing out the Universal Mummy bluray set we have this. About 7 years after they made A&C Meet Frankenstein, this also felt a bit tired - many of the same gags show up here. They changed the mummy and princess’s names for this lampoon. No surprise, there were things in this movie that made no sense - one elaborate bit involved two people dressing as mummies for the dumbest of reasons just so they could have a few bits where people didn’t know which mummy was which. While A&C Meet Frankenstein was fun, this just felt like it was retreading the same ground. I’d skip it. 1 - The Mummy (1932), 2 - The Mummy’s Hand (1940), 3 - The Mummy’s Tomb (1942), 4 - The Mummy’s Ghost (1944), 5 - The Mummy’s Curse (1944), 6 - Abbot And Costello Meet The Mummy (1955)
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May 13, 2019 04:36
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Ok, so last night was movies on the bubble that I just thought might get me more in the mood. Tonight is movies I definitely wanted to watch but I wasn’t super sure about or really ramped up for. Nothing super against them, just kind of random picks from a long pool that I didn’t have the hype built up for. But still hopefully a way better night than last night. 11. The Masque of the Red Death (1964) Watched on DVD. As the Red Death (which is apparently rabies?) runs rampant over a village a young woman is kidnapped by Prince Prospero and brought to his castle where he’s invited his friends and noblemen to wait out the disease and engage in his debauchery, depravity, and satanism. Vincent Price, Edgar Allen Poe, and Roger Corman. One of my deep shames as a horror fan is not seeing near enough Vincent Price. I know him largely as the larger than life pulp icon than an actual actor. I’d see something here or there but mostly it was Thriller and Animaniacs. [b[The Abdominable Dr. Phibes[/b] was a revelation to me and immediately justified everything I’ve thought about Price but I hope its just the beginning. I’m sad I didn’t get to a bunch of Price when I was doing the 60s and 70s in October but there’s nothing stopping me from watching them anyway and I went a bought a bunch. Still I guess there’s actually a LOT of Price/Corman Poe adaptions and this is one of the lesser ones? It seems like this one is more of a miss mash of multiple stories. I probably should have done some research instead of picking by the title. Regardless I mostly enjoyed this. Price is great and him giving macabre monologues is definitely what I know him for so its great just watching that and it carried much of the first half of the film. Things pick up a bit when his guests and friends are conspiring for this and that but the thrown together stories all play random and I don’t really care about the central plot. I think this film probably suffers from the change in sensibilities. Not only am I sure the mere idea of satanism and Prospero’s cruel sadism was more shocking at the time, but then there’s stuff like everyone staring shocked at a dwarf* just dancing like it was a spectacle at a freak show. Or there was the scene where someone gives themselves over to Satan and has visions of racist foreign savage stereotypes that I imagine were very shocking in a different way at the time. *That dwarf was clearly a little girl and it was hilarious when then dubbed a woman’s voice into the one scene where she had to talk and made sure she was always facing away from the camera. Still, despite some slow moments it was a fun little watch and held together, if maybe barely. I also really like the look of horror films of this era. They don’t look real but they look fake in a way that I find kind of like a fairy tale or something. It doesn’t suck me in the way a really great immersive film does or even the way a well done found footage film does, but in its own way where I just feel like I’m watching a play or something I can just get comfortable with. Still, I hope my next Price/Corman pick is a little better.  12. Behind the Mask:The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) Available on Amazon Prime and Shudder. In a world where Crystal Lake and Elm Street are real places you definitely don’t want to go to a bunch of grad school journalists follow a lead from Leslie Vernon who has invited them to come and get an inside look at the preparation and secrets that go behind the “supernatural spree killing” gig as he sets out to become the next Freddy or Jason legend. I wasn’t totally sure what to expect from this. In the middle of this Jason marathon the idea of a mockumentary about that kind of slasher seems like it could go either way. Be a really satisfying sendup of the tropes or a really ugly celebration. I think it ends up somewhere in between and was a fun watch most of the way. Not at all what I was expecting (but again, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting) but kept me engaged and interested in the weirdness of Leslie, the “insight” into the spree killer world, and the “how far are we gonna take this” quandary of the journalists. I think it kind of lost me in the last act when it shifts into just a straight slasher just playing out what we’ve already laid out. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t terribly interesting or satisfying. And to be honest I think I was a little annoyed that Taylor just played out all the stuff as it was laid out, complete with grabbing the sabotaged phallus weapon. I mean I get it. We were justifying Leslie’s whole philosophy but I guess I just wasn’t taking it seriously enough to appreciate it where I would have been more amused of like Taylor had used his plans against him and said like “gently caress the cock” or something. Also I just typed “gently caress the cock” under those spoiler tags. The tags felt necessary but I also feel like typing it again for fun. Anyway, I liked it. Its got a good deadpan approach that takes the idea and plays it light enough to be funny and serious enough to work. At the end maybe my aversion to the slashers just finally kicked in, but it didn’t kill things or anything. I’d recommend, although I’m not as high on it as others around here seem to be. A better night, not a great night. Gonna try and pick out some big winners for tomorrow. ”Wonder How This Holds Up” PreGaming in April 1. World War Z (2013); 2. As Above, So Below (2014); 3. The Cabin in the Woods (2011); 4. The Last Exorcism (2010); 5. Trollhunter (2010); 6. The Blair Witch Project (1999); 7. Unfriended (2014); 8. Absentia (2011); 9. The Last Exorcism Part II (2013); 10. The Prophecy (1995); 11. Dawn of the Dead (1976); 12. Mandy (2018) May “New To Me/Clean Up” Marathon Watched - New (Total) 1. From Beyond (1986); 2. Train to Busan (2016); 3. Coraline (2009); 4. The Old Dark House (1932); 5. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984); 6. Apostle (2018); 7. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985); 8. Suspiria (2018); 9. Venom (2018); 10. Winchester (2018); 11. The Masque of the Red Death (1964); 12. Behind the Mask:The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
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May 13, 2019 07:41
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STAC Goat posted:
I think it worked really well. When it happened, I was like, "Oh, of course that's where this is going," and it just elevated it to S-tier for me.
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May 13, 2019 13:18
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 It's Alive(Amazon rental) Well, Full Moon High this isn't. Cohen made It's Alive and God Told Me To about two years apart and they show that he definitely had a little bit of a nasty streak in him. Not everything is played for laughs, despite the ridiculous premise, Cohen manages to maintain a very somber tone throughout this movie that features a mutant killer infant. Probably the best thing about the movie is how little time it wastes. The opening scene is a couple waking up in the middle of the night because the wife has begun to go into labor. About 5 minutes later, multiple people are dead and a monster is on the loose. It all happens so quickly that at first it's hard to keep up, which actually is pretty effective at putting you in the shoes of the bewildered father. The monster effects are decent, but it works mostly because of Cohen's ability to shoot the thing with restraint and build up to showing more and more of it as the movie goes on. This definitely feels like essential Larry Cohen so definitely check it out.  King Cohen(Prime) A heartwarming, and given his recent passing, also a bit sad documentary about the contributions Larry Cohen made to genre film. The man really seems to have had a love for stories, and his mind was just overflowing with ideas. I think many writers would probably be jealous of him because it appears he never really experienced writer's block. One thing that a few of the interviewees said about Cohen that really rang true to me is that he was never afraid to take a premise and run with it to the fullest extent. If you look at his filmography it's very rare that you could accuse him of holding anything back. In his later years, he also appears to have been a regular on the convention circuit, which again was bittersweet to see just because obviously Larry Cohen isn't exactly the sexiest name at these conventions. He never seemed to be getting the adulation he really deserved(his line appeared empty most of the time) but he was also the type that would've sat there with a fan and discussed b-horror movies for an hour just for the fun of it. RIP Larry Cohen WATCHED: 1. Evil Bong 2. Let's Scare Jessica to Death 3. Mom and Dad 4. Train to Busan 5. Full Moon High 6. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 7. It's Alive 8. King Cohen Basebf555 fucked around with this message at 15:05 on May 13, 2019 |
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May 13, 2019 14:51
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