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Josherino)
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Chokes McGee posted:I can sympathize with the abilify. any atypical makes me lose my poo poo, as do SNRIs. its really frustrating because I have bipolar, so I have to set up this ridiculous fetch quest of sertraline, Deplin, and trazedone to cancel each others side effects out so I can function. He's tried many, many antidepressants. The only ones he hasn't tried are really new ones like Trintellix. He's reluctant to change his meds around and I can understand that. But he also can't continue to suffer. Hopefully his doctor will call with the test results this week to see what's going on. He has a few physical issues connected to the depression/anxiety at least tangentially which is why I think it's also a hormonal issue contributing to this. I take Abilify myself, it's the antidepressants that I can't handle at all, lol.
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May 15, 2019 02:11
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turn off the TV posted:One thing that I wish people would tell me is any variation of "it's fine if you're depressed/anxious and it doesn't change what I think/feel about you," because getting told "you/we have to do something to get better" or "I hope that you'll start feeling better" enough times started making me just avoid talking to people about my issues and feel pretty guilty for letting them down. I skipped out on mother's day and avoid talking to my family because I feel like a failure for being sick. Yeah definitely. I do tell him that I wish he felt better. I truly do wish he wasn't suffering. But I let him know that I understand it because I truly do, and that how he feels is valid, if that makes sense. I'm sorry you're feeling awful too. You're not a failure and I'm sorry you are feeling guilty because of an illness. bebop esq has issued a correction as of 02:23 on May 15, 2019 |
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May 15, 2019 02:14
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pre-op bebop posted:He's tried many, many antidepressants. The only ones he hasn't tried are really new ones like Trintellix. He's reluctant to change his meds around and I can understand that. But he also can't continue to suffer. Hopefully his doctor will call with the test results this week to see what's going on. He has a few physical issues connected to the depression/anxiety at least tangentially which is why I think it's also a hormonal issue contributing to this. Deplin. It's really worth looking into, the worst thing that'll happen is nothing. Since it's a "medical food" (whatever in the gently caress that means) it's basically a supplement. If you can't afford Deplin proper you can buy L-Methylfolate as a supplement, Deplin has a few things to give it more oomph but they're just about the same. Obviously he should talk to his doctor first, but in my experience, fixing your folic acid uptake and vitamin D levels can do so, so much to combat resistant depression.
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May 15, 2019 04:34
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The odds of me making it to the San Diego perfectionism class has dropped from 95% to 0%. This is disappointing, but I've reached out to a group in LA that offered comparable training in the past and a therapist in LA who offers something similar a few times a year. So I don't know what the something else for the Daring Way is going to be or exactly when, but I still plan on doing something else for it.
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May 15, 2019 05:01
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i think im gonna see a dr about this stupid poo poo where i am reflexively saying things like "i wish i was dead" or "kill me now" 50 times a day to make intrusive thoughts go away. i should be able to grab an old container to put leftovers in from the cabinet without having to relive stupid meaningless moments like the time i couldnt find the top to one of the containers for my wifes cousin and she got impatient. gently caress my wifes cousin its stupid as gently caress that its a year later and im begging some god to kill me over something so dumb and every other basic routine moment of my day is attached to some equally stupid memory that i can help obsessing over. i hope this post is ok it more for me to be able to read my own feelings back and work up the impetus to do something.
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May 15, 2019 05:02
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Real hurthling! posted:i think im gonna see a dr about this stupid poo poo where i am reflexively saying things like "i wish i was dead" or "kill me now" 50 times a day to make intrusive thoughts go away.
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May 15, 2019 05:21
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therapy only or meds too?
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May 15, 2019 05:31
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Real hurthling! posted:therapy only or meds too? It depends on the person but in general both at once are good.
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May 15, 2019 05:45
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man, twitter is pretty bleak lately, what with centrist boy biden gaining steam and the awful anti-abortion bills, maybe i should take a break from it. *keeps reading twitter*
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May 15, 2019 15:21
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Equeen posted:man, twitter is pretty bleak lately, what with centrist boy biden gaining steam and the awful anti-abortion bills, maybe i should take a break from it. My girlfriend has basically begged me to get rid of social media and just stay off the internet but it'll never happen, born2post.
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May 15, 2019 15:26
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Mordor She Wrote posted:My girlfriend has basically begged me to get rid of social media and just stay off the internet but it'll never happen, born2post. who keeps scraeming at me to log off in my house
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May 15, 2019 17:14
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Mordor She Wrote posted:My girlfriend has basically begged me to get rid of social media and just stay off the internet but it'll never happen, born2post. sometimes i think about ceasing posting on all non sa website because they're so bad. i told a nazi on reddit to gently caress off and die and got a sitewide suspension for "violent content". same thing happened on twitter once, too. all the other major places on the internet are infested with no-poo poo actual hitler idolizing nazis, chuds, libertarians, misogynistic freaks, or succdems and it's very dispiriting to participate in them but for whatever reason i can't stop myself from getting in endless vituperative arguments.
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May 15, 2019 17:22
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so... busy week, and not even through it. got fired from my job as TA in special education (because of an ongoing feud i have with a TNDP executive committee member/mayor/shitheaded cousin), realized I literally had nothing else keeping me here (because the kid I worked with had such a hard time getting stressed out all the time because TAs kept quitting), then began searching for jobs elsewhere while also severing ties in such a way that some would characteristically call 'a meltdown.' i also figured it was high time i came out as as bisexual. spent close to thirty years trying to fit in* to this community, only to be treated like a stray dog by my peers. my peers can now officially suck my dick because i'm loving done. *when your dad lifts up up by your shirt and tells you to shut the gently caress up in the angriest way you'd ever seen him because he was the one who decided to move here, you'd be surprised how much effort you put into trying. but then again, i'm his human being son so who gives a gently caress, right?
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May 15, 2019 18:22
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Frog Act posted:sometimes i think about ceasing posting on all non sa website because they're so bad. i told a nazi on reddit to gently caress off and die and got a sitewide suspension for "violent content". same thing happened on twitter once, too. all the other major places on the internet are infested with no-poo poo actual hitler idolizing nazis, chuds, libertarians, misogynistic freaks, or succdems and it's very dispiriting to participate in them but for whatever reason i can't stop myself from getting in endless vituperative arguments. I hear you, I've had to make so many new twitter accounts, I've run out of old gmails and google numbers so if this newest one gets banned (which it probably will because some Qanon guys are mass reporting all my tweets) I'll have to get a new phone number. But I feel absolutely compelled to argue with chuds, it never ends, I wake up in the middle of night to check twitter/facebook/youtube just to get mad. Pretty much my life is, wake up, get mad on the internet, go to work, get made on the internet while at work, go home, get mad at the internet, go to bed and get mad at the internet. I'm pretty sure its actively breaking my mind and I'm becoming a leftist version of the Fox News Grandpa, but I also don't feel like I can stop, it's weird. edit: I'm starting to think I have impulse issues.
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May 15, 2019 18:25
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:so... busy week, and not even through it. fwiw its incredibly brave to come out and I respect you for it. it doesnt do much to help with the rest of the bullshit, but I thought I should at least say it.
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May 15, 2019 18:29
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Chokes McGee posted:fwiw its incredibly brave to come out and I respect you for it. it doesnt do much to help with the rest of the bullshit, but I thought I should at least say it. thanks. EDIT: it's hard to break old habits because of course i have to make a joke about it. Gene Hackman Fan has issued a correction as of 18:35 on May 15, 2019 |
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May 15, 2019 18:33
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:thanks. unironically be your best self if you can, many people wont anyway, idk if anyone remembers but ive made a few white noise posts here and there in this thread about how lovely my life has become since i got my MA, been unemployed a year and a half, on suboxone, all my friends slowly stopped talking to me, etc etc. the big problem is that i don't have a job and so my life is just at a standstill thats left me living in my parents attic smoking a ton of weed and making aggressive posts on the internet about politics, i'm miserable and would love to go back to dating and socializing and improving my life but its all so hard with no job at all. i made a post a couple weeks ago about my third in person interview in this whole year of bullshit mentioning i thought it had gone well. well, its been two weeks since, and i had given up hope but i got an email from them today saying "We would like to move forward with the hiring process by contacting your references", so i think i might have gotten it. i still don't really believe it so i'm assuming something will go awry with the process or that i'm misreading their language and that contacting references is just a thing they're doing for all the candidates, but my parents said that is unlikely feeling a little hopeful for once atm
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May 15, 2019 20:44
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Frog Act posted:unironically be your best self if you can, many people wont
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May 15, 2019 20:48
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I am worried about how reasonable it's feeling to commit suicide if trump wins again
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May 16, 2019 01:46
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Grondoth posted:I am worried about how reasonable it's feeling to commit suicide if trump wins again You can get through it but don't rationalize your thoughts. It's easy to do and just remember that it's never rational or reasonable, and there is no logical or ethical argument for it.
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May 16, 2019 01:54
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Depression has gotten extremely bad lately sapping me of my motivation after it turned out I can't get an internship for the summer because not only is my GPA (2.875) too low for most but I have no experience in my field yet (my resume is almost all political stuff). Everyone i talk to either says I shouldn't care or that I'm completely hosed because i waited until i was 23 to get serious about my field outside of politics. has left me feeling p hopeless, because the things holding me back the most are the choice I made in the past i can't undo, and iv got no idea how to get out of this pit/catch 22. i get at least B's in all my engineering classes, but my GPA will always be poo poo from me loving up my freshman year
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May 16, 2019 03:04
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Grondoth posted:I am worried about how reasonable it's feeling to commit suicide if trump wins again Right there with you. If 2020 goes south my next stop will be another mental health facility for my own good and safety.
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May 16, 2019 03:20
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Venom Snake posted:Depression has gotten extremely bad lately sapping me of my motivation after it turned out I can't get an internship for the summer because not only is my GPA (2.875) too low for most but I have no experience in my field yet (my resume is almost all political stuff). Everyone i talk to either says I shouldn't care or that I'm completely hosed because i waited until i was 23 to get serious about my field outside of politics. i also did something similar to this, and i also got absurdly lucky, but maybe try talking to all the professors you had (and maybe those you haven't) and see if maybe they have research over the summer? i managed to get a job just fiddling with side projects grad students didn't want to do. like i said this was lucky as hell and it pays like poo poo but it's worth a shot at least
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May 16, 2019 03:58
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Chokes McGee posted:Right there with you. If 2020 goes south my next stop will be another mental health facility for my own good and safety. Lucky. I've been battling increasingly intense suicidal idealation since 2016 after finally shaking it a few years before. But because LA is all kinds of screwed up with ten thousand different kinds of insurance, going to therapy isn't even an option because it turns out I need to regularly take a day off work in order to even go- after dumping 3-4 therapists because they stopped offering weekend hours, I've given up looking and just use BetterHelp. Its pretty poo poo to be honest, but at least its someone to talk to who doesn't explode at you for mentioning politics. Its probably a bad thing for me to consider applying for a firearm license, but considering the state of things its at least some form of comfort instead of hoping and doing nothing. I do keep trying to look ahead and not fall back into the pit- but I feel like I'm nearing my breaking point (new gig that requires 1.5 hours of driving in heavy traffic either way doesn't help). I'm just so tired. Okan170 has issued a correction as of 04:25 on May 16, 2019 |
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May 16, 2019 04:19
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Okan170 posted:Lucky. I've been battling increasingly intense suicidal idealation since 2016 after finally shaking it a few years before. But because LA is all kinds of screwed up with ten thousand different kinds of insurance, going to therapy isn't even an option because it turns out I need to regularly take a day off work in order to even go- after dumping 3-4 therapists because they stopped offering weekend hours, I've given up looking and just use BetterHelp. Its pretty poo poo to be honest, but at least its someone to talk to who doesn't explode at you for mentioning politics. Its probably a bad thing for me to consider applying for a firearm license, but considering the state of things its at least some form of comfort instead of hoping and doing nothing. I do keep trying to look ahead and not fall back into the pit- but I feel like I'm nearing my breaking point (new gig that requires 1.5 hours of driving in heavy traffic either way doesn't help). I'm just so tired. I really really REALLY recommend against combining a gun with increasing suicidal intentions. its probably the last thing in the world anyone who suffers from long term depression needs, because it makes successful suicide attempts go right through the roof. If I had access to that instead of a hoodie and ineptitude I wouldnt be posting this right now. Also just a 40 minute commute both ways broke me, that sounds really gross. is there a job you can get thats closer, or (if youre a computer toucher) work remotely? Spending three hours of your life every day looking at a bumper is no good.
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May 16, 2019 04:30
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welp day 1 of zoloft gave me the fun side effects, only got 1 hour of sleep and have pooped 6 times today. i hope this gets better soon
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May 16, 2019 04:34
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got any sevens posted:welp day 1 of zoloft gave me the fun side effects, only got 1 hour of sleep and have pooped 6 times today. i hope this gets better soon thats a dece ratio what mg are you on? 25/50 is a pretty slow roll but going straight to 100 for the first time is cold water
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May 16, 2019 04:35
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i think 25, they wanted me to break the pill in half for the first week. i'm thinking i'll keep breaking it in half for 2
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May 16, 2019 04:42
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got any sevens posted:welp day 1 of zoloft gave me the fun side effects, only got 1 hour of sleep and have pooped 6 times today. i hope this gets better soon yeah I poo poo my brains out for about a week and a half and oscillated between wired and exhausted. I'm just about to hit a month on 50 mg and feel pretty normal now though.
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May 16, 2019 04:49
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got any sevens posted:i think 25, they wanted me to break the pill in half for the first week. i'm thinking i'll keep breaking it in half for 2 Just make sure you let your doctor know. Hope it all wears in and settles down.
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May 16, 2019 05:17
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these side effects so far are very similar to when i quit melatonin cold turkey after 4 months, i also barely slept for a few days after that and poo poo myself empty coincidence? also im tempted to take melatonin tonight to help sleep
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May 16, 2019 05:53
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RadiRoot has issued a correction as of 09:50 on May 16, 2019 |
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May 16, 2019 08:20
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I tried to kill myself a couple years ago when I got offered a job for 20$ an hour at a call center and had to going to college, I really loved school but I was putting myself in debt for linguistics so lol, either way like 3 months into the job I tried chugging a bottle nyquil but my depression got so bad I started binge eating and gained nearly a hundred lbs so I don't think I drank enough to kill myself, either way I spent like 8 hours rolling around in my parent's basement in pain and seeing swooping shadows coming at me and I still don't think my brain has entirely recovered because every now and then I just see shadows jumping at me from the corner of my eye. But yeah if Bernie doesn't win the primary, the literal world have zero chance of survival so that'll be when I just give up entirely, gooooo Bernie. (that and my work life insurance policy will be past the suicide clause so that my normal brained girlfriend can get 40k to play around with after I kick the bucket)
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May 16, 2019 16:00
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Mordor She Wrote posted:I tried to kill myself a couple years ago when I got offered a job for 20$ an hour at a call center and had to going to college, I really loved school but I was putting myself in debt for linguistics so lol, either way like 3 months into the job I tried chugging a bottle nyquil but my depression got so bad I started binge eating and gained nearly a hundred lbs so I don't think I drank enough to kill myself, either way I spent like 8 hours rolling around in my parent's basement in pain and seeing swooping shadows coming at me and I still don't think my brain has entirely recovered because every now and then I just see shadows jumping at me from the corner of my eye. I still have issues after my breakdown that I didn't before, like dissociating and exhaustion. Trauma loving sucks. On that note, please please please see a therapist. I assure you your girlfriend does not give one single solitary poo poo about the money and would rather have you around.* Life may be painful, and there's awful things going on in the world, but it's not worth the pain. You'd think it'd be release, but trust me, it's not. It leaves behind a swath of pain, and your last moments won't be peace but intense grief. * and if she doesn't sever immediately
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May 16, 2019 16:25
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Chokes McGee posted:I still have issues after my breakdown that I didn't before, like dissociating and exhaustion. Trauma loving sucks. I think my brains too broke for a therapist because the second I go into see one I just instantly start like uhhh.. thinking of them as the enemy if that makes sense. Like they are there to destroy my personality. Which intellectually I know they're not but that's like my gut reaction. Also during my last suicide attempt it got really intense of like thinking about "what if the pain I'm feeling now just lasts for eternity when I die" and other weird questions that have been bothering me since (not a religious person at all but like I dunno how brain perception works so like if I die in pain is that what I'm just going to like "Experience" into the void or something) so the weird irrational fear that caused has put me off active attempts for the time being.
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May 16, 2019 16:42
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Mordor She Wrote posted:I think my brains too broke for a therapist because the second I go into see one I just instantly start like uhhh.. thinking of them as the enemy if that makes sense. Like they are there to destroy my personality. Which intellectually I know they're not but that's like my gut reaction. Also during my last suicide attempt it got really intense of like thinking about "what if the pain I'm feeling now just lasts for eternity when I die" and other weird questions that have been bothering me since (not a religious person at all but like I dunno how brain perception works so like if I die in pain is that what I'm just going to like "Experience" into the void or something) so the weird irrational fear that caused has put me off active attempts for the time being. I am not a doctor at all so ignore my hilariously terrible advice but given the hallucinations I'm concerned about schizophrenia Even without that they really are there to help, tell them what's going on and they might be able to get you back on track 
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May 16, 2019 16:45
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UnfortunateSexFart has issued a correction as of 09:14 on May 21, 2019 |
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May 16, 2019 16:50
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:How do people get delivery jobs for companies like FedEx? Urban driving is one of the few things I'm good at and I'm trying to find something better than loving uber. Do you just have to know someone? They never have public openings. I had an old roommate that basically met a recruiter and got the job that way. I believe he was with fedex and they were almost treated like independent contractors (in the US) if I remember right.
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May 16, 2019 17:18
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:
well i called the doc and they said stay on the meds, so im gonna just try cutting my pill into 12.5 quarters for a bit
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May 16, 2019 17:28
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got any sevens posted:well i called the doc and they said stay on the meds, so im gonna just try cutting my pill into 12.5 quarters for a bit This did the trick with me with my trazedone Sometimes you're just ridiculously sensitive to some meds 
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May 16, 2019 17:33
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