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Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Stoatbringer posted:

In Alabama, if they're treating a fertilised egg as a full human being from the moment of conception it seems it would raise all sorts of (loving idiotic) problems.
Like, if the mother dies in childbirth and the baby survives, will they have to immediately arrest the baby on suspicion of manslaughter (or at least taser it, depending on the race, of course)?

No, they'll just leave the baby to die, it's served its purpose and so did its host.

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ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

Wrath of Mordark posted:

Oh I agree. A lawn is a terrible use of space.

edit: In case it wasn't clear, I thought a lawn jockey was one of those robot mower thingies before I googled it.

Yeah lawn jockeys are usually pretty racist. They're very commonly (not always, but very commonly) literally blackface. Which is...yeah.

The best article on why lawns are terrible I've read so far comes from Kate Wagner, who is the lady that writes McMansion Hell.

https://www.curbed.com/2019/3/13/18262285/mcmansion-hell-kate-wagner-lawn-care-mowing

It's a good one. There are way more things wrong with lawns than you think.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
https://twitter.com/Glinner/status/1129715034295345154

I thought he said he was leaving.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

chitoryu12 posted:

The “Why doesn’t the government just print more money?” argument applied to God.

I had a coworker ask me in 2008 when gas prices were astronomical “Why don’t they just make more oil?”

old bean factory
Nov 18, 2006

Will ya close the fucking doors?!

He feeds off that poo poo.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule


Nobody makes my blood pressure spike like this guy. I was so happy he was loving off Twitter, I should have known he couldn't resist ruining our collective psyche every day.

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬



https://twitter.com/daniel_sugarman/status/1129399863886663683?s=21

A good preservation.

Ebola Roulette
Sep 13, 2010

No matter what you win lose ragepiss.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I had a coworker ask me in 2008 when gas prices were astronomical “Why don’t they just make more oil?”

:psyduck: Did he never wonder why they were called fossil fuels?

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Ebola Roulette posted:

:psyduck: Did he never wonder why they were called fossil fuels?

We took your advice, sir, and layered tons of single-cell lifeforms under strata of sediment. We're expecting to see results any geologic era now!

*Champagne cork pops*

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
He wasn’t a particularly intelligent individual. He eventually was formally warned by HR because he threatened to punch me in the face when I laughed at him as he told the tale of almost running over a ghost woman pushing a ghost baby in a ghost stroller and that's how he totaled his Acura.

Mak0rz
Aug 2, 2008

😎🐗🚬

:psyduck:



https://twitter.com/kfcgaming/status/1129414416708116483

Jurgan
May 8, 2007

Just pour it directly into your gaping mouth-hole you decadent slut
.

Jurgan has a new favorite as of 06:29 on May 19, 2019

Katt
Nov 14, 2017

Jurgan posted:

This comes up so often and it’s really getting under my skin. If you want to cite that story, at least try to understand what it means.

https://www.jasonstaples.com/bible/a-bald-man-two-bears-and-forty-two-children-misinterpreted-bible-passages-6/amp/

That story did nothing to redeem god. God doesn't need you defending him when he has angry she bears to call on :v:

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



Pope Corky the IX posted:

He wasn’t a particularly intelligent individual. He eventually was formally warned by HR because he threatened to punch me in the face when I laughed at him as he told the tale of almost running over a ghost woman pushing a ghost baby in a ghost stroller and that's how he totaled his Acura.

People get really offended if you don’t believe their ghost stories, it’s so confusing for me

Jurgan
May 8, 2007

Just pour it directly into your gaping mouth-hole you decadent slut

Katt posted:

That story did nothing to redeem god. God doesn't need you defending him when he has angry she bears to call on :v:

You don’t have to like it, but at least get the story right. God’s judgments against Israel were because they broke the covenant, which in addition to idolatry included things like not welcoming refugees, exploiting the poor, etc. It wasn’t about teasing bald people.

SneezeOfTheDecade
Feb 6, 2011

gettin' covid all
over your posts

PurpleXVI posted:

https://twitter.com/ProJared/status/1129557897837342721

"Actually my wife was the abusive one, and she was the one who wanted some side action so she told me to go get some in the first place! I'm actually the good guy because I put up with her being evil for so long. Also I'm not commenting at all on how I've been showing my dick to kids."





https://twitter.com/fictionalbabe/status/1129606919117840385

Sephyr
Aug 28, 2012

Jurgan posted:

This comes up so often and it’s really getting under my skin. If you want to cite that story, at least try to understand what it means.

https://www.jasonstaples.com/bible/a-bald-man-two-bears-and-forty-two-children-misinterpreted-bible-passages-6/amp/

That...really didn't improve the story's moral standing.

"See, it's not that the prophet was touchy about being bald! It's that Yahweh is a psychotic mafia don and will brook no disrespect to himself or his capos!"

Jurgan
May 8, 2007

Just pour it directly into your gaping mouth-hole you decadent slut

Sephyr posted:

That...really didn't improve the story's moral standing.

"See, it's not that the prophet was touchy about being bald! It's that Yahweh is a psychotic mafia don and will brook no disrespect to himself or his capos!"

I think picturing over a hundred potentially violent people surrounding and threatening him changes the tenor of the story.

The main thrust of the prophetic passages in the Old Testament is that Israel is failing because they exploit the poor and needy. Yahweh is saying "you guys have hosed up, and you'd better get your act together and stop being shits to the people around you." I'm not saying "attack with bears" is the right way to send that message, but that's what the message is over and over again.

"Wash and make yourselves clean.
Take your evil deeds out of my sight;
stop doing wrong.
17 Learn to do right; seek justice.
Defend the oppressed.[a]
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
plead the case of the widow."

Isaiah 1:16-17

"48 As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, your sister Sodom and her daughters never did what you and your daughters have done.

49 “‘Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. 50 They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen."

Ezekiel 16:48-50

And tons of others. Not all of the Old Testament can or should apply to today. The genocide passages in Joshua are horrifying, for example, as are a lot of the laws in the Torah. But people should try to at least understand what they meant to the people they were written for.

Anyway, this isn't the right thread for an extended debate about religion. I've said my piece, so I won't carry on this derail any further.

Jurgan has a new favorite as of 16:27 on May 18, 2019

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Absurd Alhazred posted:


I thought he said he was leaving.

TERFs hate trans women like this, but MRAs hate trans women like this :rimshot:

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

PurpleXVI posted:

https://twitter.com/ProJared/status/1129557897837342721

"Actually my wife was the abusive one, and she was the one who wanted some side action so she told me to go get some in the first place! I'm actually the good guy because I put up with her being evil for so long. Also I'm not commenting at all on how I've been showing my dick to kids."






https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po4adxJxqZk

Technocrat
Jan 30, 2011

I always finish what I sta

PurpleXVI posted:

https://twitter.com/deejaypb/status/1129482240377982976

The poster is not the idiot here, I'll note. But it's idiocy and it's on social media. It's also hilarious.

https://twitter.com/smclellanduk/status/1129777968862191617?s=19

I'm pretty sure this is the SA D&D response, as well

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
e: nm derail

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.


Imagine going to see Shine On You Crazy Diamond live and Roger Waters stops in the middle of it to talk about how the Holodomor was Nazi propaganda or something like that.

Mak0rz
Aug 2, 2008

😎🐗🚬

Technocrat posted:

https://twitter.com/smclellanduk/status/1129777968862191617?s=19

I'm pretty sure this is the SA D&D response, as well

I know this is just an opportunity to get more milkshake profits but: nice

TinTower posted:



Imagine going to see Shine On You Crazy Diamond live and Roger Waters stops in the middle of it to talk about how the Holodomor was Nazi propaganda or something like that.

That's pretty typical for him, though?

Mak0rz has a new favorite as of 18:24 on May 18, 2019

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

Took me way too long to figure out the 2nd one's a chicken leg in a gaming chair.

This reality = worst reality, etc.

Chocolate Bunny
Jan 13, 2019
It is pretty awful of them to encourage that, the poor milkshakes don't deserve to be thrown over someone as disgusting as Farage.

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

quote:

my son is 28 and we had 24 amazing years together….I got divorced from his dad who was abusive to me when my son was 18…my son told me mom don’t worry about anything I will always be here for you….I will help you and we will always be together and be family etc etc….I went back to college…at the same college my son was going to ….we needed the money I got from financial aid to keep us alfloat….my son and were very close we were like siblings or best friends..we studied together went to events together…..he helped me if I needed it and I helped him when he needed it…etc etc…he met a girl in undergrad….he said he didn’t like her but he talked about her a lot so I said I think you like her..joking and insisted he invite her to dinner…well she was rude, mean and nasty…when she left I said to my son…Oh I see why you don’t like her…ya she is not well suited for you etc…..he said ya that he did not like her ….anyway graduation day came and my son was acting very strange….I gave him my Claddagh ring Irish ring to wear while he was accepting his diploma….it was a friendship type ring and I thought it was a nice gesture…anyway he “lost” the ring…I think now he threw it away….he was mad that we were moving the next day after graduation…because he decided he “LOVED” this girl that came to dinner that time….WHAT?? first I am hearing of this….so we were moving back to the northeast for his GRADUATE college….and had the uhaul all loaded when he tells me this revalation….long story short he had a long distance relationshipo with her on the internet and he visited her a few times…and they got engaged,…when she graduated in 2014 december they got married….meanwhile my son was in his PhD program and I of course was the doting loving mom all through all of this…and things were great with me and my son for the first year he was married..but she didn’t want him celebrating holidays with me…she slowly worked on him to get him to get rid of me….I became critically ill last June while sharing a home with him and her…they made the basement into an apt…and divided the house because she would not talk to me for 4 years…except an occasional F### you to me when I said have a great day to her…..anyway she yelled and swears at my son…and is horribly abusive..but my son would not leave her even though at times I thought he might….instead in my almost dead condition he kicks me out into an apartment….I was fine with that because the stress there and mold was not helping my health..but my son promised to help me….to come visit me several times per week and shop for me etc….now remember I am 100% disabled and bedridden….but she worked on him and got him to turn his back on me completely…..so here I lay in this bed all alone day after day in a state that I am not from….I know No one here….no friends no family..nothing…my son now says he doesn’t care if I live or die….he hates me …..doesn’t want to talk to me…blocks my messages etc….what am I to do…..I am dying and I want to see my son..and make peace before it is too late which could be any day now….I am scared and alone….I want my son…..I miss him and feel I have nothing left to fight for…even when he was visiting me a few times per week at least that gave me something to look forward to…..I can’t go out or to church etc etc like someone could who was healthy…..so how to cope with being totally alone and very very sick….and being rejected by the only person who I ever thought loved me…..he now tells me he never loved me …which makes me feel so Great ya…right….. I know he used to love me….I am sure of it…I felt it….he said he was faking all those years…..I disagree…he used to cry when He thought of me dying…he used to care…but this really mean girl has turned my son into a monster….not the kind loving boy he once was……sorry this is so long…I needed to get it off my chest

Mak0rz
Aug 2, 2008

😎🐗🚬

https://twitter.com/jacobamirabrown/status/1129174745885233152







:chloe:

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


Lol at one of the top comments replying with "hey check my insta" why does everyone on Twitter want to sell something?

nerdz
Oct 12, 2004


Complex, statistically improbable things are by their nature more difficult to explain than simple, statistically probable things.
Grimey Drawer

TinTower posted:



Imagine going to see Shine On You Crazy Diamond live and Roger Waters stops in the middle of it to talk about how the Holodomor was Nazi propaganda or something like that.

yeah all these musicians like Roger Waters and Tom Morello should stop getting all political and just play their drat music

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Len posted:

Lol at one of the top comments replying with "hey check my insta" why does everyone on Twitter want to sell something?

That always happens when people make messages that blow up overnight. May as well make some money off their newfound fame?

Powered Descent
Jul 13, 2008

We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Midnight Voyager posted:

That always happens when people make messages that blow up overnight. May as well make some money off their newfound fame?

I'm reminded of the time years ago that the forums were down for maintenance one night and Lowtax's twitter pointed everyone at some random guy streaming Minecraft on Twitch. It was clear the poor kid had no idea why he suddenly had a thousand people watching but he kept trying to get all of us to subscribe, thinking that he'd finally made it and somehow gotten a real following. Then the forums came back up and everybody left en masse and he's probably still mystified to this day what the hell happened there.

I forget what we all had the Minecraft guy build. I want to say it was a giant statue of :goku:.

Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010

Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!
🔥😱🔥🔫👴🏻

PurpleXVI posted:

https://twitter.com/deejaypb/status/1129482240377982976

The poster is not the idiot here, I'll note. But it's idiocy and it's on social media. It's also hilarious.

This is a good thing. It’s encouraging people not to waste perfectly good milkshakes when there is plenty of perfectly fine garbage they could throw instead.

Byzantine
Sep 1, 2007

Jurgan posted:

The main thrust of the prophetic passages in the Old Testament is that Israel is failing because they exploit the poor and needy. Yahweh is saying "you guys have hosed up, and you'd better get your act together and stop being shits to the people around you." I'm not saying "attack with bears" is the right way to send that message, but that's what the message is over and over again.

Holy bear warriors getting released in the Capitol would be pretty great, though.

belt
May 12, 2001

by Nyc_Tattoo
"Hi, can I get a burger, fries, and an extra large mayonnaise?"

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



belt posted:

"Hi, can I get a burger, fries, and an extra large mayonnaise?"

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

So yes

Yngwie Mangosteen
Aug 23, 2007

Powered Descent posted:

I'm reminded of the time years ago that the forums were down for maintenance one night and Lowtax's twitter pointed everyone at some random guy streaming Minecraft on Twitch. It was clear the poor kid had no idea why he suddenly had a thousand people watching but he kept trying to get all of us to subscribe, thinking that he'd finally made it and somehow gotten a real following. Then the forums came back up and everybody left en masse and he's probably still mystified to this day what the hell happened there.

I forget what we all had the Minecraft guy build. I want to say it was a giant statue of :goku:.

It was goku pants. Then there was a thing where goons bombed streamers with follows and tried to get them to also make goku pants for a little while after.

As with most goon stuff, it was funny the first time.

rodbeard
Jul 21, 2005

Jurgan posted:

This comes up so often and it’s really getting under my skin. If you want to cite that story, at least try to understand what it means.

https://www.jasonstaples.com/bible/a-bald-man-two-bears-and-forty-two-children-misinterpreted-bible-passages-6/amp/

Frog Act posted:

People get really offended if you don’t believe their ghost stories, it’s so confusing for me

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
edgy

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Jippa
Feb 13, 2009
https://adventure.com/begpacking-worst-travel-trend/

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