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Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

HenryEx posted:

I just buy whatever beans are currently cheapest and one bag of the most expensive brand, and then throw both directly into the trash where they belong

You're supposed to use a cut to raw ratio of 2:1. May sound high, but trust me that no one will ever know the difference.

But the point is moot as anyone who uses any coffee besides Bustelo is an rear end in a top hat idiot.

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LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

still gay rights and smoke weed every day

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

You didn't say please.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"


I mean

they should have ejected Meat-Feet and cleaned up the grease, so yeah, they are negligent

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
I drink Kroger Brand breakfast blend. I have no idea how dark of a roast it is and I can't fathom why anyone would give a poo poo. Make the hot bean water, add the cream and sugar, drink it, and get on with your day.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008
Could really use a mod to come and deal with this hot coffee derail

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth

Who What Now posted:

I drink Kroger Brand breakfast blend. I have no idea how dark of a roast it is and I can't fathom why anyone would give a poo poo. Make the hot bean water, add the cream and sugar, drink it, and get on with your day.

If you try the good stuff you will learn all the things wrong with what you just wrote.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

sassassin posted:

If you try the good stuff you will learn all the things wrong with what you just wrote.


Have you ever seen those videos where professional wine tasters can't tell the difference between a $10,000 bottle of wine from the 1600s and hobo toilet wine?



I guarantee coffee is no different. Quit acting elitist about your caffeine juice.

Jamesman
Nov 19, 2004

"First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"
Fun Shoe
It doesn't matter what coffee tastes best. It's all gonna make you have violent diarrhea anyway.

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet

Blue Footed Booby posted:

Boy I sure do love crypto-nationalistic posturing over cultural differences in hot beverage preparation.

Nalesh
Jun 9, 2010

What did the grandma say to the frog?

Something racist, probably.
The only objective truth about coffee is that it's bean soup.

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Nalesh posted:

The only objective truth about coffee is that it's bean soup.

Ah yes, I definitely strain the beans outta my soup and drink the sludge left behind only.

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

LifeSunDeath posted:

Ah yes, I definitely strain the beans outta my soup and drink the sludge left behind only.

you don't eat your coffee beans?

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Many people enjoy coffee.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Picnic Princess posted:

Many people enjoy coffee.

MODS?!

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

dialhforhero
Apr 3, 2008
Am I 🧑‍🏫 out of touch🤔? No🧐, it's the children👶 who are wrong🤷🏼‍♂️
Hey get this: coffee can taste different based on bean growing location and roast, just like similar analogous situations with literally anything and everything that we eat and drink. Even water. Don’t be dumb about that.

The key is just don’t be an rear end in a top hat about if you drink Taster’s Choice or Starbucks or whatever.

Don’t be dumb. Especially don’t be an rear end in a top hat.

That being said Maxwell House, et. al. are terrible. :haw:

Kheldarn
Feb 17, 2011



Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Turtlicious posted:

lmao if you can afford light roasted coffee, :guillotine:

unless you're buying the cheaper raw beans and roasting it yourself, then you're going to the guillotines bourgeois scum.

Unless you live on a coffee growing mountain any coffee makes you bourgie scum. A hero of the people makes an herbal tea from whatever weeds grow locally.

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006



kanedaaaaaa

Oddhair
Mar 21, 2004

I don't disagree that some quality variations are just opinions of companies writ large into our cultural gestalt, hell maybe even most of them, but I feel I have some unique visibility into this. (Coffee quality definitely has something to do with the beans, moreso the roast I think, but that's no my point to share with you, goons of the funny pics thread)

We made our office sort of snazzy and modern a few years ago, and one of the items we got is a dual-head, dual-tank Italian espresso machine. People thought it would be for customers only but they were wrong and my boss instead opted not to get an industrial drip machine (in addition to the awesomeness) like we'd planned, and have mainly the espresso at first to acclimate people to it. It even says in the instructions it's not really intended for an office of 20+ people to use, but for like a cafe with a trained cadre of users. We already have a drip machine that like 1/3rd of people use, and that's fine, and one department likes really dark tea made from some coffee beans, but the real quality stratification comes in at the espresso machine. We've got the (2+) people who put water through the grounds until it comes out clear because they like it that way and who am I to argue? De gustibus non disputandum. There's the mixer: for this gent the head contains half Folgers, ~15% espresso roast from the grinder and the other 35%...it's air! Also, water comes out clear eventually for this blend and let me tell you I've had simply the second pressing through some grounds packed to spec so to speak just as a test and it's grotesque. The machine will deliver unto you basically unlimited boiling water and 190º water so you can even do a nice pour over if you're patient enough to get water out of it and if not there's an inductive cooktop too.

I kind of want to educate them but OMG who has the time? It's like arguing about whether turning the AC up means higher temp or more cooling. I do get asked to show people how to use it sometimes, and I did work at Starbucks (in 1997) so I suppose it's nice that I'm deferred to a little on it and I don't mean to bitch, thse people are really friendly in general. On the flip side I spend $0 on coffee and it's bombastically good IMO so let 'em make it "wrong" and like things I don't like, as long as they don't leave the grounds stuffed in there all afternoon.

Fake edit: today one lady did bring me, no bullshit, fresh durian, balut and also some giant snails from some asian market. Snails were under seasoned and like tough shrimps, balut was way over there past a 10' pole, might be mine, and durian was...surprisingly good, honestly, though it smells a fright it tastes good, like XO sauce or fish sauce.

Pic or it didn't happen, plus one that always makes me laugh. No balut pictures as that's on my short list of no-way items with ortolan and caescu marzu (sp?):


tl;dr: espresso is amazing, better beans means better coffee in general; drink what you like gently caress the haters.

Luckyellow
Sep 25, 2007

Pillbug
I can't wait until coffee plants go extinct so we will never have another stupid coffee derail.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008
The only things hotter than the coffee I just melted my dick off with are the takes itt

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
At Mcdonalds, our coffee is dick-meltingly good. I'm lovin' it.

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

Kit Walker
Jul 10, 2010
"The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

I only drink instant

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen

Oddhair posted:

I don't disagree that some quality variations are just opinions of companies writ large into our cultural gestalt, hell maybe even most of them, but I feel I have some unique visibility into this. (Coffee quality definitely has something to do with the beans, moreso the roast I think, but that's no my point to share with you, goons of the funny pics thread)

We made our office sort of snazzy and modern a few years ago, and one of the items we got is a dual-head, dual-tank Italian espresso machine. People thought it would be for customers only but they were wrong and my boss instead opted not to get an industrial drip machine (in addition to the awesomeness) like we'd planned, and have mainly the espresso at first to acclimate people to it. It even says in the instructions it's not really intended for an office of 20+ people to use, but for like a cafe with a trained cadre of users. We already have a drip machine that like 1/3rd of people use, and that's fine, and one department likes really dark tea made from some coffee beans, but the real quality stratification comes in at the espresso machine. We've got the (2+) people who put water through the grounds until it comes out clear because they like it that way and who am I to argue? De gustibus non disputandum. There's the mixer: for this gent the head contains half Folgers, ~15% espresso roast from the grinder and the other 35%...it's air! Also, water comes out clear eventually for this blend and let me tell you I've had simply the second pressing through some grounds packed to spec so to speak just as a test and it's grotesque. The machine will deliver unto you basically unlimited boiling water and 190º water so you can even do a nice pour over if you're patient enough to get water out of it and if not there's an inductive cooktop too.

I kind of want to educate them but OMG who has the time? It's like arguing about whether turning the AC up means higher temp or more cooling. I do get asked to show people how to use it sometimes, and I did work at Starbucks (in 1997) so I suppose it's nice that I'm deferred to a little on it and I don't mean to bitch, thse people are really friendly in general. On the flip side I spend $0 on coffee and it's bombastically good IMO so let 'em make it "wrong" and like things I don't like, as long as they don't leave the grounds stuffed in there all afternoon.

Fake edit: today one lady did bring me, no bullshit, fresh durian, balut and also some giant snails from some asian market. Snails were under seasoned and like tough shrimps, balut was way over there past a 10' pole, might be mine, and durian was...surprisingly good, honestly, though it smells a fright it tastes good, like XO sauce or fish sauce.

Pic or it didn't happen, plus one that always makes me laugh. No balut pictures as that's on my short list of no-way items with ortolan and caescu marzu (sp?):


tl;dr: espresso is amazing, better beans means better coffee in general; drink what you like gently caress the haters.

Eat the balut you coward.

Oddhair
Mar 21, 2004

Look, y'know... she mistakenly bought the "raw" kind of balut so it's doubly a mistake to second guess. I'm considering it in the traditional post-boiled variety, honestly, after someone, most likely in the anti food porn thread in PYF, mentioned it mostly tasted like boiled eggs. Still...it sounds less gross than durian smells, no lie, at least this time it didn't put me off onions.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Coffee isn't bean soup, it's bean broth.

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen
TBH I have a harder time eating durian than balut. The smell of durian reminds me of rotting meat.

voiceless anal fricative
May 6, 2007

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Coffee isn't bean soup, it's bean broth.

Until you put milk in it, then it's cereal.

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.








Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008

Android Apocalypse posted:

Eat the balut you coward.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?


That's really more of a griproot.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
I think we can at least all agree that people who drink coffee made from civet turds are just weirdos in denial about their scat fetish.

dialhforhero
Apr 3, 2008
Am I 🧑‍🏫 out of touch🤔? No🧐, it's the children👶 who are wrong🤷🏼‍♂️

Decent Joffrey cosplay tbh.

Rasmus
Jul 13, 2016

I wish I was brian Blessed

Isn't that from Brigador?

Also, I don't get the joke.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Who What Now posted:

I think we can at least all agree that people who drink coffee made from civet turds are just weirdos in denial about their scat fetish.

They're also idiots for supporting animal cruelty. The whole thing with kopi luwak is that the wild civets would eat only the ripest berries, so only the best ones would go into the coffee. But now that it's been commercialized, gathering civet turds in the fields takes too long, so they just put the poor things in cages and force feed them coffee berries. The civet doesn't get to be selective, so there's basically nothing special about the stuff now.

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madeintaipei
Jul 13, 2012

Who What Now posted:

I think we can at least all agree that people who drink coffee made from civet turds are just weirdos in denial about their scat fetish.

One weird trick a house dog figured out... coffee nerds hate her.

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