- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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Let's follow the river.
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May 28, 2019 08:59
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 23, 2024 19:39
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_ZR8rW8k24
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May 28, 2019 13:48
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX57jqetDGA
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May 28, 2019 14:43
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Clearly, all those X's on the map stand for buried pirate treasure! To the river!
quote:
“We’ll follow the river,” you declare.
You and Kim set out along the bank. The river flows swiftly next to you. Zombie Mountain stands tall above you. It would be a perfect hike, you think – if it weren’t for Kim.
“My feet hurt,” she complains. She punches you in the shoulder. “This was your dumb idea!”
The path starts getting muddy. “I’m ruining my new sneakers!” Kim whines.
“Tough,” you reply. What a baby! you think.
The path grows muddier and gunkier. And Kim’s complaints grow louder and more obnoxious. She starts blaming you for the slow going.
Please, you think, let us reach Zombie Cave. Soon!
Your thoughts are cut off by Kim’s terrified scream.
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“A snake!” Kim cries.
You look. “It’s just a garter snake,” you grumble. “Chill!”
A few minutes later, Kim screams again.
What now?
“Across the river!” she shrieks. “A z-z-zombie!”
You roll your eyes. “There’s no such thing as zombies,” you mutter. “Will you hurry? The other teams are going to beat us to Zombie Cave.”
You slog down the trail. Kim sulks behind you.
Then she screams again. “The zombie! It’s back! Look!”
“Oh, please,” you grumble. You peer across the river.
Hey. What’s that moving over there? Something tall and pale flickers between the trees.
“See?” Kim hisses in your ear.
“It’s probably just another hiker,” you say.
But suddenly you’re not so sure.
You know zombies don’t exist. But you wish Coach Krump hadn’t talked so much about them.
You look again. Whatever it was, it’s not there anymore.
Just another hiker, you tell yourself. Relax.
“Oh, no!” Kim cries. “Now we’re really in trouble!”
quote:
“What’s the matter now?” you ask.
“It’s nearly sunset,” Kim whines. “And we’re nowhere near Zombie Cave. It’s your fault. You picked the wrong route.”
You realize you might not make it to the campsite by midnight.
You’ve got to move faster!
You gaze at the river, wondering what to do. Then you spot something that might solve your problem.
Just ahead, a small green rowboat is hauled up on the bank. A sign on the boat says PRIVATE PROPERTY.
“If we row, we’ll reach the other side of the mountain in no time,” you tell Kim.
“The boat doesn’t belong to us,” she objects. “If we get in trouble, it’ll be your fault.”
“Fine,” you snap. You’d almost rather go to jail to listen to Kim whine for one more minute!
“Besides,” Kim adds, “the map says there are rapids ahead.”
Rapids? That could be a real problem.
What are you going to do?
To take the boat anyway, go to PAGE 9.
Continue on foot on PAGE 72.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Map
Survival Kit
Goal Endings: 1/2
Bad Endings
Beamed into the sun by a malfunctioning transporter.
Bludgeoned to death with baseball bats by an angry mob of brainwashed campers.
Betrayed by Uncle Ed and recaptured by the Xentronians.
Accidentally provoked an interplanetary war between Earth and Xentron.
Landed in the flamethrower pit while trying to fake an injury on the high bar.
Won the "grand prize" of a lifetime of slavery on Xentron.
Achievements
None yet.
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May 29, 2019 01:40
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Lets stay on foot.
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May 29, 2019 05:21
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Row, row, row your boat...
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May 29, 2019 06:12
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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Kim seems completely reasonable, while our protagonist is the jerk who doesn't believe in zombies, likes to steal boats, and dies first in the horror movie.
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May 29, 2019 12:48
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- PumpkinBat
- Oct 22, 2012
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There are rapids. Why is this even a choice?
I'm interested in seeing how this kid is going to convince Kim to take the boat.
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May 29, 2019 14:22
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- VivaLa Eeveelution
- Apr 3, 2011
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There are rapids. Why is this even a choice?
We can't ford the river and you're still calling this a 'choice'?
Borrow the dang boat and let's hope we end up needing to ford halfway.
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May 29, 2019 14:30
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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The option that tries to avoid danger usually leads to something bad, so let's stay on foot.
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May 29, 2019 17:11
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Boat
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May 29, 2019 18:30
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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The map only has X's along the riverbank, not on the river itself, so clearly the rapids are the safer option!
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You’d rather risk the rapids than keep walking – especially since it’s getting so late. Anyway, you think, you’re not stealing the boat – you’re simply borrowing it.
You and Kim climb in. The current carries you downstream so swiftly, you don’t even bother to row.
“We should reach Zombie Cave in a few minutes!” you exclaim.
“All this rocking is making me sick!” Kim whines. She does look a little green. “This was a dumb idea.”
She could be right, you think, worried. The current is getting faster. And now you’re starting to see big rocks in the river. The water foams white up ahead.
“Hold on!” you shout to Kim.
CRACK! A big rock knocks Kim’s oar out of her hand.
CRACK! Your oar breaks in two.
The roar of the river grows louder. Off to your left, you spot a small stream. But that’s not where the noise comes from. It comes from that tall spray of white water rising into the air dead ahead...
A waterfall!
Better think fast!
Jump overboard on PAGE 76.
Try to steer toward the small stream on PAGE 60.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Map
Survival Kit
Goal Endings: 1/2
Bad Endings
Beamed into the sun by a malfunctioning transporter.
Bludgeoned to death with baseball bats by an angry mob of brainwashed campers.
Betrayed by Uncle Ed and recaptured by the Xentronians.
Accidentally provoked an interplanetary war between Earth and Xentron.
Landed in the flamethrower pit while trying to fake an injury on the high bar.
Won the "grand prize" of a lifetime of slavery on Xentron.
Achievements
None yet.
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May 29, 2019 20:19
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Bail out!
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May 29, 2019 20:22
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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May 29, 2019 20:35
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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With my last breath, I curse Kim!
Mountain path!
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May 30, 2019 17:47
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Steer toward the stream
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May 30, 2019 18:22
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Try the mountain path
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May 31, 2019 05:47
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Okay, maybe taking the trail covered in warning signs wasn't a good idea after all. Let's go back and take the path up the mountain!
quote:
You and Kim toil up the mountain. It takes all afternoon. But the most tiring part of the hike isn’t the climbing.
It’s listening to Kim complain!
At last you spot what you came for. In the face of a cliff is a dark, forbidding hole. Zombie Cave! A trail leads down to it from where you are.
You and Kim hike down the steep trail. About halfway down, you hear a strange noise. A combination cough and growl.
“What’s that?” Kim asks nervously.
“Zombies!” you reply in a spooky voice.
Kim shrieks.
“Just kidding,” you tell her grinning.
As you continue down, you hear the sound again.
Hmm. It seems to be following you.
“Ignore it,” you tell Kim. You’re almost at the cave mouth.
You run ahead of Kim and enter the cave alone.
But when you see what is waiting inside, you freeze.
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Kim comes up behind you. “What’s wrong?” she asks.
“A-a zombie!” you stammer.
“Oh, please,” Kim snaps. “I mean, do I look that stupid?”
You’d like to answer that question. But you’re speechless. Because the creature in the cave is the nastiest thing you’ve ever seen. Gashes cover its colorless face. Its eyes are dead.
It smells dead!
“No!” you cry. “It really is a zombie!”
The thing takes several steps toward you. “UUURRGH!” it moans.
“Eeeeeeeeee!” Kim screams.
“Sorry – we... uh... we took a wrong turn,” you tell the undead monster. You begin backing out the way you came.
The zombie staggers toward you.
“Run!” you order Kim.
The zombie lumbers along after you. It doesn’t run fast. But it doesn’t tire, either. How can you escape? you wonder frantically. Then you have an idea.
“Climb up the cliff!” you shout at Kim.
“Are you crazy?” she cries. “It’s a cliff!"
“Would you rather get caught by the zombie?” you ask.
Enough said! The two of you start scrambling up the cliff.
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You pull yourself frantically up. Your arms ache.
You glance down. The zombie is trying to climb the cliff too. But it’s clumsy. Its rotting fingers can’t grasp the rocks.
Finally, it seems to give up. You hang there, halfway up the cliff, and watch as it vanishes into the trees.
Whew! “I think it’s gone,” you tell Kim. “Come on, let’s head back down the cliff.”
You’ve almost reached the bottom when you hear a growl.
Crouched in your path is a mountain lion!
The big cat’s yellow eyes gaze hungrily at you.
Uh-oh! “Head back up,” you whisper.
But just as you inch up the cliff, a huge boulder bounds down the slope, just missing you.
“The zombie!” Kim cries. “It must have climbed up the trail! It’s up at the top of the cliff!”
You duck as another boulder hurtles past your ear.
“Let’s get out of here!” Kim cries.
Great idea, you think. But where to? If you head down, the mountain lion will attack.
And if you climb up, you’ll have to face the zombie!
If you go down toward the mountain lion, turn to PAGE 101.
If you head up toward the zombie, turn to PAGE 54.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Map
Survival Kit
Goal Endings: 1/2
Bad Endings
Beamed into the sun by a malfunctioning transporter.
Bludgeoned to death with baseball bats by an angry mob of brainwashed campers.
Betrayed by Uncle Ed and recaptured by the Xentronians.
Accidentally provoked an interplanetary war between Earth and Xentron.
Landed in the flamethrower pit while trying to fake an injury on the high bar.
Won the "grand prize" of a lifetime of slavery on Xentron.
Jumped out of a boat and went over a waterfall.
Achievements
None yet.
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May 31, 2019 21:58
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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This reminds me of my first ever D&D game where our flying ship got ambushed by sea pirates. We were told that the water was full of bloodsharks that would instantly kill anyone who fell overboard. When we asked why we couldn't just fly the ship up out of danger, the sky was suddenly full of dragons.
Kick that lion's rear end
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May 31, 2019 22:12
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Go up and kick the zombie's head off
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May 31, 2019 22:42
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- PumpkinBat
- Oct 22, 2012
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Zombie slower than cat.
We brave the zombie!
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Jun 2, 2019 02:19
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Hopefully this is one of the lamer types of zombie, and it'll fall apart if we hit it with anything more forceful than a summer breeze.
quote:
A hungry mountain lion can move a lot faster than a hungry zombie, you reason. Better take your chances with the corpse.
“Up!” you order Kim.
You scramble back down the cliff. Rocks and pebbles rain down on you.
“Uurrgghh!” the zombie bellows from above. You peer up. It hefts another huge boulder. Oh, no! How can it miss when you’re this close?
Then the zombie slips!
“UUUURRRRRGGGHHH!” it cries as it tumbles through the air. Down, down, down.
It lands with a sickening THUD far, far below.
Yuck!
“Wow, Kim,” you comment as you reach the top of the cliff. “That zombie really fell for you.”
“Hah, hah,” Kim huffs.
Time to check out the cave. You hike down the trail and stand nervously at the entrance. A faint light glows from inside.
You take a deep breath.
“Let’s do it,” you say to Kim. “Let’s enter Zombie Cave.”
Or it'll conveniently kill itself through sheer incompetence. That works too!
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Carefully, you and Kim poke your heads into Zombie Cave.
“Hello?” you call, hoping no one will answer.
Whew! No one does. The cave is empty!
You peer down at the floor. No footprints in the loose soil. You must be the first hikers to reach the cave.
“Come on!” Kim says impatiently. “Let’s find the bones.”
Where is the light coming from? you wonder. Then you notice faint green streaks of glowing minerals in the cave walls.
A quick search doesn’t turn up any bones.
First you feel disappointed.
Then you feel something on your leg. It tickles.
Absently you reach down to scratch your thigh.
Aaagh! A giant spider crawls onto your hand!
With a yell, you flick the spider away. It flies off your hand and lands on a glittering object, half buried in the cave floor.
A gold ring!
“Maybe we should dig here,” you suggest eagerly. “We might find buried treasure!”
Or you might find buried terror.
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You dig with your bare hands in the soft earth. Kim doesn’t help. “I don’t want to break a nail,” she sniffs.
After digging down a few inches, you feel something hard. You paw feverishly at the dirt. Is it gold? Jewels?
Kim bends over for a look.
“It’s a skeleton!” she gasps. “Human!”
You feel a chill. You thought Coach Krump was kidding when he said the cave was full of human bones. But it seems he was serious. Dead serious.
Swallowing your fear, you keep digging. Ten minutes later, you’ve uncovered the entire skeleton.
“Yuck! I’m not touching that thing!” Kim declares.
You’re not eager to touch it, either. But you’ve got to get a bone if you’re going to win the Outdoors Medal.
And after all you’ve been through, you want that medal!
“One of the ribs is cracked,” Kim points out. “Break it off and take it.”
You think it might be easier to lift off the skull. But on the other hand, the skull is bulky. It won’t fit in your pack.
If you go for the skull, turn to PAGE 17.
If you go for the rib, go to PAGE 32.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Map
Survival Kit
Goal Endings: 1/2
Bad Endings
Beamed into the sun by a malfunctioning transporter.
Bludgeoned to death with baseball bats by an angry mob of brainwashed campers.
Betrayed by Uncle Ed and recaptured by the Xentronians.
Accidentally provoked an interplanetary war between Earth and Xentron.
Landed in the flamethrower pit while trying to fake an injury on the high bar.
Won the "grand prize" of a lifetime of slavery on Xentron.
Jumped out of a boat and went over a waterfall.
Achievements
None yet.
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Jun 3, 2019 03:14
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Rib!
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Jun 3, 2019 04:05
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- Junpei
- Oct 4, 2015
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Can't post for 11 years!
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Let's make like a frog and rib it!
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Jun 3, 2019 04:06
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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quote:You dig with your bare hands in the soft earth. Kim doesn’t help. “I don’t want to break a nail,” she sniffs.
I can only read this as our protagonist's extremely mean impression of Kim saying she doesn't want to paw at the ground with her bare hands just because they saw something shiny and were instantly filled with Scrooge McDuck wealth dreams.
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Jun 3, 2019 08:29
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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Take a rib
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Jun 3, 2019 13:45
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Stealing the skull from a skeleton buried in a cave sounds like a great way to get cursed. Let's just take a rib; he's got plenty of those to spare.
quote:
You reach down and break off the skeleton’s cracked rib.
A moment later, the rest of the bones crumble to dust!
“We got the bone!” Kim crows.
“Yeah,” you mutter. You wish you could feel excited. But you’re too creeped out. You just want to get out of here.
You glance at your watch. 11:00 P.M. One hour to find the campsite!
You and Kim hurry out of the cave. Kim examines her map by flashlight. “This way,” she calls, heading downhill.
She seems confident about where she’s going. So you follow her. The moon is up, but it’s still very dark in the trees.
After a few moments you come to a place where the trees are thinner. The ground seems strangely rocky.
“Come on,” Kim orders, beckoning impatiently.
You’re halfway across the rocky field when you stumble over something. You shine your flashlight down to see what it was.
Whoa. It’s not a rock. It’s a gravestone.
You’re in a graveyard!
quote:
“Oooh, I don’t like graveyards,” Kim whines. “Why did we have to come this way?”
“Don’t ask me. You’re the one with the map!” you retort.
Then you notice something odd.
A glass beaker, the kind they use in science labs, is lying on top of the gravestone. You step closer, squinting at the white label on the beaker.
“’Property of the Cemetery Man,’” you read aloud.
The Cemetery Man?
Wasn’t he the guy Ted asked about?
The one Coach Krump said didn’t exist?
Then you hear a noise. SCRAPE. SCRAPE. SCRAPE.
The sound is coming from a grave. The one with the beaker on it. You aim your flashlight at the grave.
NO! This can’t be real!
A hand is pushing its way up through the ground!
A moment later, a hideous head thrusts out into the air. The same thing is happening at the other graves.
The dead are rising!
quote:
A freshly risen zombie staggers toward you.
“Fooo!” it groans. “FOOO!”
Finally you get what it’s saying.
FOOD. As in – you!
You’re in a total terror meltdown.
A zombie grabs you. You knock its hand away. Another has Kim down. It’s about to bite her!
You tackle the monster and pull it off her. Your fingers sink deep into the rotten flesh of its arm. Yecch!
“Run!” you scream. You and Kim sprint out of the graveyard.
The zombie’s heavy footsteps thud behind you.
Then Kim trips over a tree root. She hits the ground hard. “Noooo!” she shrieks. “Help me! I hurt my ankle! Help me!”
The zombie is only a few feet away. You know that if you were hurt, Kim would leave you hanging.
So should you stick your neck out for her?
Help Kim on PAGE 102.
Or keep running on PAGE 28.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Map
Survival Kit
Goal Endings: 1/2
Bad Endings
Beamed into the sun by a malfunctioning transporter.
Bludgeoned to death with baseball bats by an angry mob of brainwashed campers.
Betrayed by Uncle Ed and recaptured by the Xentronians.
Accidentally provoked an interplanetary war between Earth and Xentron.
Landed in the flamethrower pit while trying to fake an injury on the high bar.
Won the "grand prize" of a lifetime of slavery on Xentron.
Jumped out of a boat and went over a waterfall.
Achievements
None yet.
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Jun 3, 2019 15:29
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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But don't mess with a Cemetery Man
gently caress Kim
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Jun 3, 2019 15:37
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Bye, Kim.
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Jun 3, 2019 15:39
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 23, 2024 19:39
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Honestly, I don't think she's done anything to deserve being left behind.
But oh well. Bye, Kim.
Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Jun 3, 2019
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Jun 3, 2019 16:06
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May 28, 2019 08:59
Jumped out of a boat and went over a waterfall.
