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Josherino)
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volunteering at one of the places where some people I know from grad school work, they’re gonna pay for one of my friends’ PHD and she’s been speaking at conferences and stuff they’ve paid to send her to. I’m stoked for her, she definitely worked hard and made the right connections to get where she is, but goddamn does it make me feel depressed. she didn’t help by specifically talking about how nice it feels to be a “real person” who gets to “actually do things” and a few other things I’m sure she didn’t even think about that made me think about how comparatively I am neither of those things I’d kill to work in history, my best prospect isn’t even adjacent to the field, and now I’m like watching it over the fence and thinking about how much of a bummer my life turned out to be. ugh
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May 29, 2019 16:25
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Any of you have suggestions for derailing the rumination sad train at night? No matter how tired I am, the moment I lay down in bed I'm wide awake and just chock full of anxiety. I turn down the lights and relax the hour before, only use my bed for sleep, listened to white noise/music/tv shows/etc, only have my phone in the room and have it set to switch to warm light an hour before bed. I even bought a weighted blanket earlier this year, which wholly recommend, even if it doesn't help with falling asleep. The only things that work for sure are getting wasted or taking some of my emergency Xanax (absolutely never together!!) What works for me is to set "go to bed" time well enough in advance of when I need to sleep that I can watch YouTube videos until I pass out. This admittedly takes a couple hours and is probably full of its own badness somehow.
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May 29, 2019 16:30
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Chokes McGee posted:Involuntary commitment is usually more traumatic than voluntary. Very much this. I'd rather be dead than institutionalized against my will again.
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May 29, 2019 17:45
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Any of you have suggestions for derailing the rumination sad train at night? No matter how tired I am, the moment I lay down in bed I'm wide awake and just chock full of anxiety. I turn down the lights and relax the hour before, only use my bed for sleep, listened to white noise/music/tv shows/etc, only have my phone in the room and have it set to switch to warm light an hour before bed. I even bought a weighted blanket earlier this year, which wholly recommend, even if it doesn't help with falling asleep. The only things that work for sure are getting wasted or taking some of my emergency Xanax (absolutely never together!!) Meditation has worked well for me in the past. Headspace is a popular app and has recently put a big emphasis on sleep. It works better the longer you do it regularly. There’s also a specific course on anxiety that I’ve done and that helped me to separate / accept anxiety thoughts more. the app is also great for establishing rituals/regular practice with a bit of gamification and nice gentle reminders. Of course I don’t know your full situation so a meditation app might just not be enough - that would be something to discuss with a therapist i guess! Also physical exercise (but only well in advance of your bedtime) can help - if the body really wants to rest, it might just be able to overrule the chatter in the mind. Good sleep hygiene as described above and sensible diet also tend to help for me. sleep is tricky as the moment you think about it, you’re no longer tired.
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May 29, 2019 18:25
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if you're a member of audible, they have free sleep help exercise programs too. their "sleep better" and "reset your day meditations" are my go-tos. ill also second the "bed is for sleepin' or bonin'." No tv/books/phone browsing when i lay down and I usually am out before my 10 or 15 minute meditation exercise has finished playing fwiw.
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May 29, 2019 18:41
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Radirot posted:Very much this. I'd rather be dead than institutionalized against my will again. Over in our unit we got lucky, longest hold we saw was around three weeks and they were all OD attempts. I’m mixed on it, it’s necessary in some cases so the help sticks but I can’t imagine going into that hell not knowing when you’re coming out.
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May 29, 2019 18:44
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Anyone have something/nighttime ritual that helps? Lots of good stuff mentioned, I want to throw in good hydration levels as something that made a difference for me, as well as not eating an hour before sleep. The main thing for me though is if I really can't sleep, I stop trying early. I get up and read or listen to music or just sit for a bit elsewhere- laying there tossing  and turning for ages getting pissed off that I can't sleep doesn't help me sleep at all, but sometimes getting up for an hour or so then trying again does it. Mood dependent I can sometime just lay quietly and while it's not sleep, my body can appreciate the rest afterwards. Not often though, sometimes its a lovely thought magnet.
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May 29, 2019 22:10
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Thanks for all of the suggestions everyone! I'll have to write them all down because holy poo poo am I going to forget. Getting up and doing something for a bit I think will be the big key there. Like DesperateDan said, "tossing and turning for ages getting pissed off that I can't sleep doesn't help", might as well go read a book or whatever.
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May 29, 2019 22:54
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oh god i took my pills five minutes ago and I just belched and i can taste the inside of all of them jesus gently caress
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May 30, 2019 01:57
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:oh god i took my pills five minutes ago and I just belched and i can taste the inside of all of them jesus gently caress any antibiotics in the bunch? those all taste like doodoo
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May 30, 2019 02:21
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lol my throat was burning and i went crazy trying to get the feeling out and i bruised my throat and thought the lump sensation was me choking ahahahahahahha gently caress today
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May 30, 2019 02:32
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i hope tomorrow is better, pal 
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May 30, 2019 02:36
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Anyone know if SSRIs, can cause irritability? My new medication has been working for me. However I feel myself getting angrier easier and faster nowadays.
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May 30, 2019 02:39
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:oh god i took my pills five minutes ago and I just belched and i can taste the inside of all of them jesus gently caress lamictal is the worst tasting substance in existence and don't take it with Gatorade
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May 30, 2019 02:55
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Dreddout posted:Anyone know if SSRIs, can cause irritability? My new medication has been working for me. However I feel myself getting angrier easier and faster nowadays. WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN (yes especially if you have bipolar)
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May 30, 2019 02:55
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When I got sober I decided to take 90mg Cymbalta, 300mg Trileptal twice a day and 50mg Trazodone for sleep. All have work incredibly well and honestly I feel better than I've ever felt in my life. Now I've added Wellbutrin 300mg to the mix, should be interesting to see how it works as a adjunct medication. I've noticed I've experienced more focus the past few days, and I've been able to study for hours on end for university summer classes. Not sure if this is the meds working.
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May 30, 2019 02:56
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Dreddout posted:Anyone know if SSRIs, can cause irritability? My new medication has been working for me. However I feel myself getting angrier easier and faster nowadays. That's not medicine, that's just a healthy reaction to 2019. It's not a sign of health to be well-adjusted to a maladjusted world. I'm being tongue-in-cheek. Mostly.
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May 30, 2019 03:01
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edit: nothing to see here just me being dumb as gently caress
Chuka Umana has issued a correction as of 03:19 on May 30, 2019 |
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May 30, 2019 03:03
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Chuka Umana posted:This might be a stupid question, but am I the only one who can't access the sobriety thread in the substance section? I can't see the entire section. what
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May 30, 2019 03:07
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Chuka Umana posted:This might be a stupid question, but am I the only one who can't access the sobriety thread in the substance section? I can't see the entire section. tcc was renamed goons with spoons
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May 30, 2019 03:08
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turn off the TV posted:tcc was renamed goons with spoons Ah okay, thanks.
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May 30, 2019 03:19
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Chuka Umana posted:Ah okay, thanks. Yeah. It was a clever little switch, GWS is now called The Sub Forum.
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May 30, 2019 03:48
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Crosspostin' from the happy thread:Lutha Mahtin posted:for my job today, i found myself having to hang out and wait around for a bit in the waiting room of a clinic. one of the services this clinic provides is mental health treatment. one of the people from this mental health department came out to call one of their patients back, and i got to sneak a peek at an extremely good therapy doggo. it was a big ole border collie lookin' thing and it was extremely excited to be friends with people. as the patient walked over to the door to go back into the clinic, the dog started getting a bit wiggly and even did a preemptive air-bonk with their snout like they were trying to signal "yes with that hand right there, please pet me" before the person got over there. it was adorable to watch. i felt like i could read the dog's entire mental monologue, which was: oh hey. WAIT. OH.....HEY! IT'S YOU! I REMEMBER YOU! FROM THAT OTHER TIME! OH BOY OH BOY I WANT TO JUMP UP ON YOU AND BONK YOU WITH MY NOSE no but i will not do that because i am well trained and i am a PROFESSIONAL but yes i am still very excited emotional support animals fukkin own
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May 30, 2019 05:42
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I've entered an extreme anger toward parents period of not drinking, thanks for unpacking all this poo poo right now brain
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May 30, 2019 16:01
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so I got some good news today - the head of the school of social work where I applied for a position in Admissions and got through the interview process called to offer me the position. I was sure I hadn’t gotten it as she contacted me 16 days ago to ask about my references, so I was feeling pretty depressed and crafting some more cover letters for other positions this morning and the call woke me up from a stoned sad-nap at 2:00 in the afternoon and threw me through a bit of a loop as I was barely conscious when I picked up. the loop throwing was because they offered me a better salary than I had expected, like four thousand more than the high end of what I anticipated based on the posting. it even has paid sick days and vacation which is mind blowing to me, plus I’ll be able to eventually take classes for free at the university to do a PHD or second MA, which are both things I’ve been seriously considering but only if I could find a way to do it. anyway I start in about two weeks. I’ve never actually had a proper full time job (I’m 29), since I’ve always been either working lovely 20-30 hour retail gigs or in college/grad school. being a TA and doing my MA thesis took a lot of work but was on my own schedule, so this will be a big change of pace for me. I’m used to smoking weed all day and playing video games / doing history work in my parents house , and retail is like, showing up for random shifts and nobody cares how high you are, so a professional environment ought to be novel I didn’t really feel any particular joy because I think I’m incapable of that but I know this is the best thing that’s happened to me in ages. a little anxious because I’m in rehab and on suboxone so I’ll have to adjust my therapy sessions and stuff to fit working full time, which is gonna require a flurry of calls and poo poo over the next week, and I’m gonna have to drop the volunteering that I’ve been doing even though I just started and that’s gonna upset them. not sure how to break it to them exactly it also occurs to me that when i started job hunting a year ago, i had a ton of friends and a girlfriend and would have been texting people like crazy to tell them the news, but i can't think of anyone that would care now, lol Frog Act has issued a correction as of 19:36 on May 30, 2019 |
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May 30, 2019 19:33
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Dave Grool posted:I've entered an extreme anger toward parents period of not drinking, thanks for unpacking all this poo poo right now brain parents drool op
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May 30, 2019 19:35
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Frog Act posted:A whole bunch of good poo poo! Congrats Frog Act!!!! Having a job with stable pay and hours, and the virtue of not being retail will do wonders for your mental health. And maybe you can't feel excitement right now because the possibility of getting a new job that isn't retail hell seemed so impossible that it doesn't feel real right now? As for the volunteering, maybe say that you will stop for now to get acclimated to the job, and come back to do a few things after a few months. At least to the places you really like.
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May 30, 2019 19:45
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that's cool as hell frog act. congratulations! I once worked at a university for six or seven years and they gave me free tuition as a benefit. that's how I got my worthless poly sci degree, but at least it only cost me books (lol, not that those are cheap) but i left there debt free. they also had free tuition for partners whether you were married or not and kids, including at a whole host of schools that have a reciprocal agreement. It is one hell of a bennie of you have any interest in grabbing another degree or have a s.o. or kid bearing college age though I'm guessing at 29 you dont have any kids in that situation
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May 30, 2019 19:54
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Congrats Frog Act!!!! Having a job with stable pay and hours, and the virtue of not being retail will do wonders for your mental health. And maybe you can't feel excitement right now because the possibility of getting a new job that isn't retail hell seemed so impossible that it doesn't feel real right now? As for the volunteering, maybe say that you will stop for now to get acclimated to the job, and come back to do a few things after a few months. At least to the places you really like. Eat This Glob posted:that's cool as hell frog act. congratulations! I once worked at a university for six or seven years and they gave me free tuition as a benefit. that's how I got my worthless poly sci degree, but at least it only cost me books (lol, not that those are cheap) but i left there debt free. they also had free tuition for partners whether you were married or not and kids, including at a whole host of schools that have a reciprocal agreement. It is one hell of a bennie of you have any interest in grabbing another degree or have a s.o. or kid bearing college age though I'm guessing at 29 you dont have any kids in that situation thanks dudes! yeah it's kind of hard for me to comprehend, ive spent my entire adult life dirt poor and living in my parents attic either being a complete failson or pursuing poorly compensated academic goals, so i've never been able to subsist on my own accord or had a 8-5 schedule and its sort of difficult to imagine. i'm definitely going to have to fundamentally change my schedule and the way i approach my day-to-day and be triple intense about pursuing my MAT so I don't end up without medication and missing work like three months in or something. i usually do okay with things i take on but i definitely have a fear in the back of my head that all these years of other stuff have left me more unprepared than i might expect. i've also put off a lot of adult things like bothering to date beyond short-term sexual things and getting an apartment and stuff, so while i'm looking forward to being able to pursue that stuff, gonna be a lot of changes coming down the pipe for me. i think ill probably stay at home for at least six more months to save up a good cushion of cash. the free tuition is definitely a major benefit that was part of my calculus in applying to hundreds of jobs at the university. it means i might be able to do what i've always really wanted to do someday, pursue my PHD by expanding my thesis and writing a substantive work on this particular Marxist philosopher I'm interested in, but more practically it also means I could pursue a part-time MA in Public Administration, which is good for careers in university bureaucracies. my dad has worked in the university system my whole life and he's about to retire, it's been good for him and since its a state job it offers a level of relative stability and a path to build a career with a consistent requirement account over a long period of time, which is my pie-in-the-sky ambition. it'll be at least a year before i do anything like that anyway, but it's nice to know the option is there, as i'm currently debt free and would never take on any for more higher education. i've never been able to buy things or exist like a proper person so i guess i'm really looking forward to being able to get dental work whenever i want and actually make small purchases without having to do a bunch of quick math to make sure i'm not gonna empty my bank account. maybe i'll feel some elation or excitement once this sinks in a little bit because right now my main thought is like "I'm not gonna be able to smoke weed at 8am every day anymore" which I don't even particularly like doing, but makes my days tolerable
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May 30, 2019 20:07
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Come for the help, stay for the success stories 
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May 30, 2019 22:32
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not a success story yet, but hopefully getting there! if anyone has any good advice re: transitioning from NEEThood mega goon life to a full time schedule I’d definitely appreciate it. the first thing I’m trying to do is adjust my sleep schedule, no more afternoon naps and gonna try to go to bed an hour or so earlier. I’m also not sure what to do for nicotine, every job I’ve had was the kind where I could get my stoner buddy to manage the register while I popped out for a cigarette. this job isn’t hourly but I don’t want to be going down five floors every three hours for a cig (I usually have one every two or so) so I’m thinking I’ll get some nicotine gum or something to help me get through the days I’m also gonna have to stop starting every day with four or five nice hits from my distillate pen because I either don’t smoke or smoke all day, just getting high in the morning leaves me hella sleepy. there’s other things to think about but those are the big ones I know I need to approach ASAP
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May 31, 2019 15:21
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if the trip up and down the stairs is the only issue with smoking i think that is well turned into an advantage. at least a decent enough thing to try out if you can get away with it, get the blood pumping a bit on a set schedule. unfortunately i don't have any other useful advice, but good luck, sounds like you're approaching matters in a good way!
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May 31, 2019 16:05
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i left my university job right around the time they went to a tobacco free work place. yours may have a no smoking policy on campus or a smoking area cordoned off from the rest of the area. i eventually quit smoking after 16 years of a pack a day habit using patches and wellbutrin. as far as getting nicotine in you, patches worked pretty well for me. They're not cheap, but they are cheaper than cigarettes. Your state may even have resources to get you free nicotine replacement stuff like patches or gum. If you like tobacco, a little snus in a pouch could be a nice alternative. You dont spit like chewing tobacco, and if you tuck it away, it is discrete enough no one will know it is in. If you just want the drug, gum works pretty well, too. I also used a disposable "blu" brand nicotine vape pen to get nicotine in me when I absolutely couldn't smoke, though you probably dont want to be "that guy" blowing clouds in the bathroom. I will say once I get a terminal diagnosis, I'm going to the store to buy smokes. 18 months later, I still miss it. As far as NEET transition goes, I'm not going to be much help though getting on a regular sleep schedule should absolutely be done asap, so good idea there
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May 31, 2019 16:12
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congrats Frog Act. I hope the job turns out to be ok and that your coworkers are nice.  I’m wildly guessing but I would think structuring your time both at work and in your free time might be at least somewhat challengingly the beginning. Getting regularity in your life around sleeping, eating and exercising will help a lot with that and in managing your general stress levels and enable you to achieve things outside of work (like having hobbies or a social life). Working on regular sleep and cutting down on weed consumption should be very good first steps. I know the feeling of “man, I know [thing] is good for me, but I won’t be able to get high all the time anymore”, but that’s simply a fact to accept and to me also a sign that I’ve been overdoing it a bit on the “stress relief” self medicating with the weed. you’ll still be able to smoke, but maybe just evenings (or even weekends), and that might even be a nice thing after a while. the high will be more intense and something to look forward too. If you need the weed to sleep, maintain anxiety or manage other mental health issues, you should probably get other meds/therapy for that. also, it’s going to be a big (hopefully positive) change in your life. there will be moments that suck, and it helps to accept that that’s normal. just take small steps and don’t stress about “being an adult”, serous dating, living in your own etc. those things will come, but only in a sustainable way if you are finding some sense of balance and contentment in your life. a stable job and the measure of economic stability that should bring are a big step towards that, but you’ll also have to manage your energy and time to do things outside of work that, hopefully soon again, will bring you joy.
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May 31, 2019 21:01
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Frog Act posted:so I got some good news today - the head of the school of social work where I applied for a position in Admissions and got through the interview process called to offer me the position. I was sure I hadn’t gotten it as she contacted me 16 days ago to ask about my references, so I was feeling pretty depressed and crafting some more cover letters for other positions this morning and the call woke me up from a stoned sad-nap at 2:00 in the afternoon and threw me through a bit of a loop as I was barely conscious when I picked up. the loop throwing was because they offered me a better salary than I had expected, like four thousand more than the high end of what I anticipated based on the posting. it even has paid sick days and vacation which is mind blowing to me, plus I’ll be able to eventually take classes for free at the university to do a PHD or second MA, which are both things I’ve been seriously considering but only if I could find a way to do it. Congrats and good luck, fellow history person!
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May 31, 2019 21:09
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I have been thinking about diet and mental health, and about what I might change to make a difference. My dad went vegan very recently, although that was for the sake of his heart rather than his brain, and while I'm not thinking of cutting out animal products entirely (a quick Google has suggested that can cause/exacerbate mental health issues if you're not careful, and that fatty fish is the good stuff for your brain) but maybe cutting out quite a lot of the types of animal fat, as well as other tasty treats that I know full well are of no use whatsoever, might be a thing I could do. Of course, I have some of those "bad" things in my fridge already, and I don't want to just throw them away, so I'll keep eating them until I run out and then not buy any more.
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Jun 1, 2019 03:25
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Jollity Farm posted:I have been thinking about diet and mental health, and about what I might change to make a difference. My dad went vegan very recently, although that was for the sake of his heart rather than his brain, and while I'm not thinking of cutting out animal products entirely (a quick Google has suggested that can cause/exacerbate mental health issues if you're not careful, and that fatty fish is the good stuff for your brain) but maybe cutting out quite a lot of the types of animal fat, as well as other tasty treats that I know full well are of no use whatsoever, might be a thing I could do. Of course, I have some of those "bad" things in my fridge already, and I don't want to just throw them away, so I'll keep eating them until I run out and then not buy any more. I've been veggie for over a decade now. It definitely requires a different approach to your diet, and you have to take a multivitamin and flaxseed/coconut oil, eat walnuts, etc. for fatty acids or bad things happen like random bruising and joint pain. I can't do vegan, though. I don't know how people do. Probably pescatarian is the best diet to roll with overall but I can't bring myself to eat formerly living things now that I know I can do without 
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Jun 1, 2019 04:07
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Chokes McGee posted:This is Okay, if you do this make sure you stay with the person the whole time. DON'T let the cops put the other person in a squad car, make them put the person in an Ambulance and then ride along or follow them. A couple years ago I was trying to get on Social Security to get some help because I kept trying to kill myself. I went to the local SSI office to see if I qualified. The PA doing the assessment started asking really specific questions about suicide (how would you do it? What would it feel like? Would that solve your problems?) Just really bad questions to ask someone if they're coming to you because they're suicidal. Aaaanyway, the PA calls the cops who show up, tackle me, throw me on the ground, cuff me and drag me in to a squad car. They pushed me around a little and threatened to assault me for being suicidal. Then they drove me to the hospital and when the officers dropped me off one of them said to me "Look, tell them that you're not suicidal and you were making it all up, then they'll just let you go." I still get panic attacks sometimes thinking about the experience So, that's how cops deal with suicidals. Don't let cops deal with suicidals. ninja edit: I'm pretty okay now, doc put me on Lamictal for my epilepsy/bi-polar and Effexor for anxiety/depression.
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Jun 1, 2019 16:44
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MY PERSONAL OPINION AND NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FORUMS
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Helen Skelter posted:Okay, if you do this make sure you stay with the person the whole time. DON'T let the cops put the other person in a squad car, make them put the person in an Ambulance and then ride along or follow them. I have a lot of things to say about this (I.e. gently caress cops) but this isn’t the right thread. I will say this seems like the exception and not the norm, and it’s a serious enough situation I think you’re more or less morally obligated to roll the dice with cops being horrid rather than someone killing themselves.
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Jun 1, 2019 17:25
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Chokes McGee posted:I have a lot of things to say about this (I.e. gently caress cops) but this isn’t the right thread. Every thread is the right thread for it. gently caress cops.
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Jun 1, 2019 20:02
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