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We're in Richmond, VA and there's always baby stuff on the Freecycle forum -- I see stuff on there at least once every 2 weeks. Freecycle also has a function where you can post "wanted" items, though I have never tried that. Re: never worn baby clothes, oh my god it's so real. Recently I've adopted a really minimalist approach to it. I just choose 5-10 outfits that I really like per stage and cycle through those, and give the rest away. This works because a) we do laundry almost every day b) we have very, very little space and really do not like clutter or overflowing drawers and c) our baby doesn't ever seem to be attending events that require anything more complex than a bubble romper. I get overwhelmed with heaps of stuff and realized I was using the same 5 outfits all the time unconsciously anyway.
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Jun 12, 2019 01:42
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sheri posted:This strikes me as a little odd....daycares should be used to dealing with big feelings and meltdowns in kids. Why are they calling you? My wife is a daycare director, so I asked her. In her words, that's loving stupid. You're right, it's the daycare's problem. At best she would call the parents and ask if there's anything the kid likes that would help, but for the most part they should be distracting the poo poo out of the kid. 2 year olds are easy to distract. Let's go outside, back inside, look at these toys, let's try some different teachers, okay back outside again. Keep them distracted so they forget to keep crying. Never in her 6 years of being a director has she ever sent home a child for missing their parents too much. If a particular kid is being too disruptive, she'll bring them into her office for some quality 1 on 1 time.
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Jun 12, 2019 01:50
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Leng posted:Now I'm on the bus on the verge of tears and argh have I just inflicted irreparable damage to her sense of self worth and love and oh heavens what have I done and how am I going to get through today. Aw, that's very hard! This is new for all of you. You'll definitely figure out how to soothe her once you've been doing it a little longer (although I'm sure there will always be the odd grumpy day). You haven't damaged her sense of self worth and love. This is an opportunity to see that Mommy loves her very much and demonstrates it by always coming back, being there for bedtime snuggles, giving kisses, and all the other ways that you show her you love her every day. Fortunately and unfortunately, love doesn't always translate into being with each other 100% of the time. It does translate into daily routine and ritual. You'll all get used to it.
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Jun 12, 2019 01:55
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Leng posted:Yesterday was Day 1 of daycare for my two year old. Both of us went with her to drop off. She was happy going in, had a little bit of anxiety on getting there, but eventually settled. Unfortunately they called at around 2 pm to say she was having a meltdown and we needed to pick her up ASAP. As soon as I arrived, all was right with the world again. Your daughter is two. This is Something Different and is therefore Bad. My daughter went through the same thing at preschool (we take her to an early childhood program that goes from 2 to 4). Nothing you are doing is harmful or even bad, it's a good thing she learns that she can do fun things with friends and that every hour doesn't have to be with you. I usually just dropped my daughter off at the classroom, said goodbye, and left. By her next class they didn't even want me in the room; she walked in by herself and that was that. You're doing fine. I would be more worried about a loving daycare that calls me in over a meltdown.
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Jun 12, 2019 05:23
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Yeah, that seems like an escalation that is unwarranted. Week 1 of daycare is always rough, no matter the age. At two they can just articulate their frustration more and make it more verbal and physical. The daycare should be aware of that and have ways to handle that. Your kid is and will be fine. Honestly, the harder part will be in a few weeks when they do the reverse and throw a tantrum that they don't want to leave daycare because they like it better than you...
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Jun 12, 2019 06:29
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Leng posted:Yesterday was Day 1 of daycare for my two year old. Both of us went with her to drop off. She was happy going in, had a little bit of anxiety on getting there, but eventually settled. Unfortunately they called at around 2 pm to say she was having a meltdown and we needed to pick her up ASAP. As soon as I arrived, all was right with the world again. This strikes me as odd, doing it "cold turkey" like that. Pre-schools here will let the kid ease into it for a few days. They require a parent to be present for the first day, and do not expect the kid to stay the full day. I have friends where it took a full two weeks before the kid was comfortable staying a full work day. What I'm saying is, your kid is having a perfectly normal reaction to being separated from both parents for a full day, and I would not expect to reliably do full work days for the next few weeks either.
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Jun 12, 2019 07:31
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sheri posted:This strikes me as a little odd....daycares should be used to dealing with big feelings and meltdowns in kids. Why are they calling you? Renegret posted:You're right, it's the daycare's problem. At best she would call the parents and ask if there's anything the kid likes that would help, but for the most part they should be distracting the poo poo out of the kid. Douche4Sale posted:Yeah, that seems like an escalation that is unwarranted. It worked for the first part of the day, I think the trouble was after she woke from a too short nap in an unfamiliar environment. Plus language barrier as well (we speak Cantonese at home). They have someone on staff who does speak Cantonese but she's in a different classroom and was on break when the meltdown happened so it all contributed. She was probably trying to communicate all day and no one understood her requests for help to go to the toilet or food, etc so it was really tough for her. Like 3 accidents yesterday when normally she's very good with only one or two accidents max a week. They couldn't get her to settle or distract so they called me. They had explained this is their standard protocol if a child won't settle in the early weeks as it unsettles the other kids? They asked me yesterday to write down a translation sheet of common phrases phonetically to help with the communication, and I gave them that today. I wish I had thought of it earlier. Hippie Hedgehog posted:This strikes me as odd, doing it "cold turkey" like that. Pre-schools here will let the kid ease into it for a few days. They require a parent to be present for the first day, and do not expect the kid to stay the full day. I have friends where it took a full two weeks before the kid was comfortable staying a full work day. There was an "orientation" of 2 hours last week where she joined her class and we were present for the full time, but that's about the standard "easing in" that I'm aware of in Sydney. zingiber posted:Fortunately and unfortunately, love doesn't always translate into being with each other 100% of the time. It does translate into daily routine and ritual. You'll all get used to it. Beer4TheBeerGod posted:You're doing fine. I would be more worried about a loving daycare that calls me in over a meltdown. Douche4Sale posted:Your kid is and will be fine. Honestly, the harder part will be in a few weeks when they do the reverse and throw a tantrum that they don't want to leave daycare because they like it better than you... Thanks for the reassurances everyone. I know this is really important for her social and mental development, it's just such a heart wrenching transition.  Some colleagues suggested I teach her how to read her watch to know when Mommy will come get her which is a good idea.It's almost 5 pm and I'm on the bus to do pick up now. I got a call partway through the day to say she's been eating and going to the toilet and some photos via the app. Bracing myself for a blubbering clingy mess when we get home because she's used up her mental fortitude in holding it together all day. Leng fucked around with this message at 07:52 on Jun 12, 2019 |
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Jun 12, 2019 07:49
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Leng, I don't know if the idea in this article might help? I haven't tried it, but a lot of people (including some parents in my son's class) have done it and found it made a big difference to their kid's anxiety levels.
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Jun 12, 2019 10:16
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Any of y'all have any luck with getting your tods (12-14mo) to stop dropping/throwing food from their high chairs when they're done eating? Our 13mo old is really bad about this, and he's obstinate to the nth degree about literally everything, but in this case the stubbornness is for signing. We've been working on it with him since he was old enough to start understanding signing, and he's really only started doing it at all in the past month but it's not consistent and often out of context. It's just whenever he feels like it. We are trying hard to not let him out of his high chair until he's signed "all done" and it's ridiculously hard. He's signed "all done" before in context, many times. But lately when he's done eating, he gets mad that we aren't letting him down, and his anger only increases the longer he's in his high chair. Seriously, he'll be fine for like ten minutes and eating like a champ (he usually eats all of his food and hardly ever loses or drops a piece in his lap), completely silent and content, but when he's done, he's DONE, and he lets us know this by flicking, dropping or throwing the remainder of his food on the floor. Honestly I'm not even sure he's finished eating most of the time, he just doesn't want to be in his high chair anymore and it's maddening to have to keep a broom on hand and scrub stuff off the floor each meal. He also does this of course when he's not particularly keen on a certain food, but it's rarer because he will eat most things. Another problem area is signing "more." He will only do it when he's not in his high chair for some reason, or just randomly. Rare is the time he signs "more" and it's actually connected to him wanting more to eat. I know lots of toddlers do this in the early stages, but is there a specific way to break this habit or do we have to wait it out? Are we expecting too much by making him wait or sign before we take him out? Mostly he's an easy, happy kid and eats and sleeps well, but he's so drat stubborn.
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Jun 12, 2019 18:34
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OneSizeFitsAll posted:Leng, I don't know if the idea in this article might help? OMFG is this adorable! You gotta warn us before you drop mega feels like that! *low key sobs* Welp off to contemplate the web of unconditional love and human existence.
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Jun 12, 2019 18:47
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life is killing me posted:Any of y'all have any luck with getting your tods (12-14mo) to stop dropping/throwing food from their high chairs when they're done eating? Our 13mo old is really bad about this, and he's obstinate to the nth degree about literally everything, but in this case the stubbornness is for signing. We've been working on it with him since he was old enough to start understanding signing, and he's really only started doing it at all in the past month but it's not consistent and often out of context. It's just whenever he feels like it. We are trying hard to not let him out of his high chair until he's signed "all done" and it's ridiculously hard. He's signed "all done" before in context, many times. But lately when he's done eating, he gets mad that we aren't letting him down, and his anger only increases the longer he's in his high chair. Seriously, he'll be fine for like ten minutes and eating like a champ (he usually eats all of his food and hardly ever loses or drops a piece in his lap), completely silent and content, but when he's done, he's DONE, and he lets us know this by flicking, dropping or throwing the remainder of his food on the floor. Honestly I'm not even sure he's finished eating most of the time, he just doesn't want to be in his high chair anymore and it's maddening to have to keep a broom on hand and scrub stuff off the floor each meal. He also does this of course when he's not particularly keen on a certain food, but it's rarer because he will eat most things. Another problem area is signing "more." He will only do it when he's not in his high chair for some reason, or just randomly. Rare is the time he signs "more" and it's actually connected to him wanting more to eat. It sounds like you might be expecting too much. He might not understand the context, or why it's expected, and by the time you get to the point where he would use it he could be so focused on getting out that the idea of waving his hands that special way may not even occur to him. Maybe practice outside of meal time? Put him in the chair, play, get him to make the motion, and then take him out of the chair. Make a game of it. As for the mess, maybe get a dog? Honestly they're not going to be particularly clean for awhile.
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Jun 12, 2019 19:10
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You can try using a “no thank you bowl” ie. a designated place for him to put food he doesn’t want to eat. Also he might like sitting in a booster seat at the table with you instead of in his high chair. I found that helped with eating and manners and my son used to push his seat away from the table when he was done. As long as he has an acceptable way of communicating that he’s done, it doesn’t have to be with the sign for it.
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Jun 12, 2019 21:02
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Hi_Bears posted:You can try using a “no thank you bowl” ie. a designated place for him to put food he doesn’t want to eat. Also he might like sitting in a booster seat at the table with you instead of in his high chair. I found that helped with eating and manners and my son used to push his seat away from the table when he was done. As long as he has an acceptable way of communicating that he’s done, it doesn’t have to be with the sign for it. He does eat from a bowl, and will place food in there on his own. It's entirely his own thing, we didn't teach him to do it, he just does it from time to time like he does with putting his toys in the toy net basket thing we have for him in the bath. We also have a high chair specifically for clamping onto tables so he can eat with us anywhere we go and feel like he's closer to us and he will generally behave better than if he sits in a restaurant high chair. He seems to do this no matter what even if he's not being fussy.
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Jun 12, 2019 21:42
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It's a phase that will pass. Promise. 
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Jun 12, 2019 21:49
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sheri posted:It's a phase that will pass. Promise. There's always another phase.
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Jun 12, 2019 21:59
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:There's always another phase. New thread title.
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Jun 12, 2019 22:29
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:There's always another phase. One day they move out. Or you die.
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Jun 12, 2019 22:44
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VanSandman posted:One day they move out. Or you die. Both technically phases.
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Jun 12, 2019 22:48
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But dropping things on the floor is fun  Look how happy it makes the dog!
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Jun 12, 2019 22:59
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Renegret posted:But dropping things on the floor is fun We had to put our dog down in January and the last few months have made it very apparent how messy a five year old is in the kitchen without the doggo to clean up :-/
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Jun 12, 2019 23:10
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OneSizeFitsAll posted:Leng, I don't know if the idea in this article might help? That is a great article and great idea! We'll try this tomorrow, hopefully it works!
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Jun 13, 2019 00:34
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sheri posted:It's a phase that will pass. Promise. Yeah...there always does seem to be a phase followed by a middling period of rest and normalcy, always too short yet always JUST long enough to lure us into complacency...then BAM! He's in another phase, or cutting more teeth, or having growing pains, or he's getting fed beans at day care and has the worst gas ever, or, or, or....
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Jun 13, 2019 13:00
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life is killing me posted:Yeah...there always does seem to be a phase followed by a middling period of rest and normalcy, always too short yet always JUST long enough to lure us into complacency...then BAM! He's in another phase, or cutting more teeth, or having growing pains, or he's getting fed beans at day care and has the worst gas ever, or, or, or.... Fantastic username post combination.
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Jun 13, 2019 13:10
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life is killing me posted:Yeah...there always does seem to be a phase followed by a middling period of rest and normalcy, always too short yet always JUST long enough to lure us into complacency...then BAM! He's in another phase, or cutting more teeth, or having growing pains, or he's getting fed beans at day care and has the worst gas ever, or, or, or.... Yep. And if you have more kids, their development will be individually different and what you thought you'd learned from #1 will apply only in the most general sense.
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Jun 13, 2019 13:12
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Honestly I'm exhausted and though I won't tell my wife this, our family vacay to Puerta Vallarta was not restful for me at all. It just ended up being us doing the same thing we do at home except near a beach, and more often because kid was in unfamiliar environment and woke up multiple times a night. Also was a task just to go out and lay on the beach, took two trips to get all the poo poo down there. But I won't tell my wife all that because it's been her family's vacation since she was a kid and they've owned the timeshare for decades. I wouldn't choose to go again with a year-old. Might as well be here doing the same poo poo and getting a bit more sleep. Hasn't gotten better since we got back, he sleeps through the night most nights now but not before at least an hour of non-stop screaming for no reason which he seems to only do when it's just me and him. Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Fantastic username post combination. Haha, this has come up before when I bitched about something Groke posted:Yep. We always hear that the second is the hardest and by the third you're OG parent.
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Jun 13, 2019 13:27
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Leng posted:That is a great article and great idea! We'll try this tomorrow, hopefully it works! Good luck. Hope it does!
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Jun 13, 2019 13:58
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life is killing me posted:Honestly I'm exhausted and though I won't tell my wife this, our family vacay to Puerta Vallarta was not restful for me at all. It just ended up being us doing the same thing we do at home except near a beach, and more often because kid was in unfamiliar environment and woke up multiple times a night. Also was a task just to go out and lay on the beach, took two trips to get all the poo poo down there. But I won't tell my wife all that because it's been her family's vacation since she was a kid and they've owned the timeshare for decades. Honestly I would tell your wife. There's nothing wrong with admitting that a vacation with a one year old isn't a vacation, it's parenting in a different location. If she feels rejuvenated from the vacation then maybe you could get a bit of a break to do something that rejuvenates you for a little bit. For example I might go out to see a movie by myself. Or maybe you're both exhausted (likely) and at the very least you can commiserate on his much things suck. Just because you're parents doesn't mean you should stop being a couple, or worse yet stop being individuals. Moms and Dads have needs that are just as important as their kids. Sometimes those needs are more important. My three month old loves to scream at me when putting him down; it sucks but I put on noise-cancelling headphones and just endure it.
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Jun 13, 2019 14:09
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life is killing me posted:
Our first kid was a high-energy, needy baby (and is still a high-energy needy kid) so I was sort of planning for the worst for our second. So far he's been a (comparably) easy going baby, thank god. I'd rather take my baby grocery shopping than my kid.
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Jun 13, 2019 14:25
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life is killing me posted:Honestly I'm exhausted and though I won't tell my wife this, our family vacay to Puerta Vallarta was not restful for me at all. It just ended up being us doing the same thing we do at home except near a beach, and more often because kid was in unfamiliar environment and woke up multiple times a night. Also was a task just to go out and lay on the beach, took two trips to get all the poo poo down there. But I won't tell my wife all that because it's been her family's vacation since she was a kid and they've owned the timeshare for decades. Yes, it's not a vacation with a kid. It's a trip. I love traveling with my kid. We've been doing it since he was 9 months old and he's six on Sunday. But it definitely is a different story then our vacations together as a couple pre kid. But we've adjusted our expectations accordingly and allow each other naps. And sometimes we travel with Grandma to get some time to ourself where she entertains the kid. sheri fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Jun 13, 2019 |
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Jun 13, 2019 15:21
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sheri posted:Yes, it's not a vacation with a kid. It's a trip. Our best vacations are ones with other parents with similar aged children. We're looking forward to a family beach trip later this year with a lot of family, which means plenty of cousins to distract the four year old and lots of in-laws to hold the baby so that my wife and I can possibly get out on our own once in awhile. When it's just us my wife and I have a routine that generally involves us all going to the beach for a few hours, me taking the kid (now kids) back for a nap while she enjoys some time alone, and then her coming back at her leisure. Over the last few years we also rented a house with another couple at a sleepy beach town so it was four adults to two kids. Worked out well. Incidentally any parents in the MD/DC/VA area should check out Cape Charles, VA for a child-friendly beach experience. It's very quiet and the beach is on the Chesapeake Bay and is incredibly gentle.
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Jun 13, 2019 16:45
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^^We are getting together later this summer at a giant house on a lake with three couples that are friends of ours and all have kids....our oldests are all within 3 months of each other and we are so looking forward to all the kids occupying each other
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Jun 13, 2019 23:27
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life is killing me posted:Honestly I'm exhausted and though I won't tell my wife this, our family vacay to Puerta Vallarta was not restful for me at all. It just ended up being us doing the same thing we do at home except near a beach, and more often because kid was in unfamiliar environment and woke up multiple times a night. Also was a task just to go out and lay on the beach, took two trips to get all the poo poo down there. But I won't tell my wife all that because it's been her family's vacation since she was a kid and they've owned the timeshare for decades. gvibes fucked around with this message at 15:09 on Jun 14, 2019 |
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Jun 14, 2019 15:05
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The best vacation my husband and I've had was visiting my parents and dropping our kid off and going to another city a couple hours away for two nights.
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Jun 14, 2019 15:09
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Alterian posted:The best vacation my husband and I've had was visiting my parents and dropping our kid off and going to another city a couple hours away for two nights. This is a real vacation.
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Jun 14, 2019 15:12
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Alterian posted:The best vacation my husband and I've had was visiting my parents and dropping our kid off and going to another city a couple hours away for two nights.
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Jun 14, 2019 15:15
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For father's day, all I want is to be left the gently caress alone for a few hours. I hope I get it. vacations: we're doing a big family vacation in December, with our baby who will be 11 months, along with our cousin who will have a 2.5 year old and an 11 month old. The hope is that having 12 people on this trip will help ease the pain of dealing with a tiny poop monster since there will be always a pair of hands to hold him. I'm just worried about the flights, but we booked them during nap time.
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Jun 14, 2019 15:28
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We had 1 vacation where my daughter was old enough that we could yeet her at relatives and run away. It was absolutely magical. I'm flying out solo with her and her brother on Wednesday. Theyre both great at long car rides, so here's hoping the flights will be okay. My gameplan is pretty straight forward Almost 5 year old (carseat in her own seat) - offline mode netflix shows/games on a device - headphones - make it rain snacks - something for take off and landing? She doesnt get or understand gum so advice wanted. Almost 1 year old (lap baby) - new toys - nursing during take off and landing - make it rain snacks - wear in baby carrier as much as they'll allow I think I am overworrying but that's how I roll 😎
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Jun 14, 2019 19:55
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Gummy snacks work well in lieu of gum. My two kids were never bothered by altitude change though, they’ve also never gotten ear infections, wonder if there is an anatomical correlation. By 1 my son would be pretty mesmerized by Little Baby Bums, maybe download some of that for your baby to watch. Also random objects like a 7 day pill case can be very entertaining to open and close (can fill with little snacks too)
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Jun 14, 2019 20:18
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:This is a real vacation. We went to Toronto and got to eat at restaurants we wanted and saw Soundgarden and Nine Inch Nails!
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Jun 14, 2019 23:17
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We dumped the kids at the in-laws and spent a week in New Orleans for our ten year anniversary and drat it was nice.
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Jun 15, 2019 01:04
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