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If you take away the fact that this is Clickhole this headline is otherwise 100% believable
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Jun 15, 2019 02:42
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Current Mood: Horny 😈
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Jun 15, 2019 03:09
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*life on earth gradually dies from co2 poisoning*
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Jun 15, 2019 06:43
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i. m. o. the people at that one dumb bar watching in confused silence as daenerys burns down kings landing is more satisfying than every red wedding reaction compilation from season 3
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Jun 16, 2019 05:45
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PupsOfWar posted:i. m. o. 
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Jun 16, 2019 05:58
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Ok dokey, girlfriend and I finally finished all 8 seasons. I'd been thoroughly spoiled up to the end so I knew what was happening, but good to finally see it. Overall, I have very few complaints about where the story ended. Sucks for Jon Snow but eh, whaddayagonnado. My biggest beef with the show was that seasons 7 and 8 should not have been cut down to fewer episodes. It feels like there was a lot of missing scenes between things happening and as a result, things just happen. There's also markedly less dialogue in seasons 7 and 8, and lots of spectacle. The spectacle is awesome, and the fact that episodes like The Battle of Winterfell and such are happening on television and not in a movie theater is astounding. There were some complaints/questions about things I've read online, and maybe because I binged all 8 seasons it seems like the show went out of it's way to answer these questions: 1. Why/how so many Dothraki in King's Landing after they all died in Winterfell? Well, they didn't all die. Quite a few of them came running back, with their horses. So while it seemed like her Dothraki replenished themselves, I'll chalk it up to cinematic license. 2. Jaime doing a 360 wrt his character development. This bugged me a lot before actually seeing it. I think he was always going to be a tragic character and that he really tries to do the right thing while fighting for/against his love for Cersei. 3. How did Rhaegal get shot down so easily while Drogon dodged dozens of bolts? Well, Rhaegal had holes punched all through his wings, and they displayed effectively enough that he was not nearly as fast or graceful in the sky at that point as a pissed off Dany riding Drogon. 4. Why banish Jon if the Unsullied are just gonna gently caress off and leave anyway? The Starks (Bran and Sansa) agreed to what they agreed to in order to not start conflict as well as save Jon's life. Why not just let him out of his Night's Watch vows when they left? Because they are both Starks and both rulers, and they need to be seen as keeping to their word. Anywho, I think it was overall a great show, even after the drop in quality starting in season 5/6. I was sad as soon as it was all over and almost want to start the whole thing again. One thing did bother me: Not being able to see the expressions on his sister's faces when Jon tells them who he really is. Also, not seeing how the Stark girls betrayed/setup Littlefinger. Even just a clip of Sansa talking with Bran and he's like "he's playing you against your sister, and started the war with this knife." They all of a sudden have all that information and Arya is clearly in on it, but we never see how.
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Jun 17, 2019 15:21
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I don’t think giving them more episodes would have fixed them fundamentally not understanding how Grrm’s writing deliberately subverts expectations. They went with what everyone thought should have happened and I believe Grrm would have done some out of left field poo poo just to gently caress with the fans. We’ll never know though since he’s never gonna finish them.
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Jun 17, 2019 15:35
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Invalid Validation posted:I don’t think giving them more episodes would have fixed them fundamentally not understanding how Grrm’s writing deliberately subverts expectations. They went with what everyone thought should have happened and I believe Grrm would have done some out of left field poo poo just to gently caress with the fans. We’ll never know though since he’s never gonna finish them. You don't think Bran being king came out of left field? I felt like they threw darts at a board to come up with that. Also, most of the complaints I've seen/agree with are that the show became less character driven, the characters became boring and badly written, and characters no longer developed into things they just magically teleported to whatever state they needed to be in to get the finale done.
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Jun 17, 2019 15:38
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chaosapiant: do you mean it sucks for Jon Targ that he doesn't get to sit on the molten pool of iron? how do you figure? he's not dead, he gets to live with his remaining homies close to his family, his gf/aunt was a psycho anyway Overall, I think the show ending was great and it still managed to piss off a lot of people. The book ending will work the same way of course but in that it will never come. I think there's a joke about climate change or the heat death of the universe in this somewhere
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Jun 17, 2019 15:40
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I wonder if Jon is supposed to continue to age and die normally or if hes just going to be this soulless zombie thing until he gets killed
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Jun 17, 2019 15:49
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Skratchez posted:chaosapiant: do you mean it sucks for Jon Targ that he doesn't get to sit on the molten pool of iron? how do you figure? he's not dead, he gets to live with his remaining homies close to his family, his gf/aunt was a psycho anyway Not so much that he can't be King, just the whole order of events where he kills his love dies in his arms again, and him going back to the black felt like he was starting over with nothing after everything he'd accomplished. That said, there is no better place for him than the north, so overall it works thematically, I think.
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Jun 17, 2019 15:50
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pseudanonymous posted:You don't think Bran being king came out of left field? I felt like they threw darts at a board to come up with that. Yea I suppose they kinda came up with something out of pure luck. Gurm tends subvert more violently and emotionally. Bran being king had the emotion of a wet fart tied to it.
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Jun 17, 2019 15:52
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Bran being King makes sense to me in the way that, if not him, then who? Edit: Gendry could've worked I suppose.
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Jun 17, 2019 15:54
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It works on some level but it wasn’t really earned in any way since he was supposed to be beyond mortals and he basically didn’t do anything of note even though he was foreshadowed to be a character with huge plot significance.
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Jun 17, 2019 16:08
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Invalid Validation posted:It works on some level but it wasn’t really earned in any way since he was supposed to be beyond mortals and he basically didn’t do anything of note even though he was foreshadowed to be a character with huge plot significance. I mean in a sense our expectations were very subverted right. 75% or so of what heppens in the series really doesn't matter. At all.
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Jun 17, 2019 16:10
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Invalid Validation posted:It works on some level but it wasn’t really earned in any way since he was supposed to be beyond mortals and he basically didn’t do anything of note even though he was foreshadowed to be a character with huge plot significance. I feel like Bran was way more important to the plot before the Night King was shanked. After that, he's just kind of a literal know-it-all who knows tons of things that most people don't care about.
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Jun 17, 2019 16:10
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I’m sure in the books he’s gonna be way more important but they didn’t care enough to flesh it out more so we end up with him mentioning a couple plot points and that’s it cause they wanted to focus on Jon.
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Jun 17, 2019 16:16
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Invalid Validation posted:I’m sure in the books he’s gonna be way more important but they didn’t care enough to flesh it out more so we end up with him mentioning a couple plot points and that’s it cause they wanted to focus on Jon. I don't think Sanderson really knows how to properly write a character like that, so he'll probably mostly stay off-screen.
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Jun 17, 2019 16:17
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Invalid Validation posted:I’m sure in the books he’s gonna be way more important but they didn’t care enough to flesh it out more so we end up with him mentioning a couple plot points and that’s it cause they wanted to focus on Jon. Every time he popped back up in the show I was like "oh gently caress, I forgot he exists!", and I didn't feel that way in the books. I was very on-board with his book storyline and liked where it was going.
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Jun 17, 2019 16:17
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TK-42-1 posted:I wonder if Jon is supposed to continue to age and die normally or if hes just going to be this soulless zombie thing until he gets killed i figure this could come up w/ book jon, since Beric and Coldhands, while rezzed in different ways, are both clearly hosed up w/ show jon though, idk if there's ever any implication he is something other than just a regular human, good as new
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Jun 17, 2019 17:03
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PupsOfWar posted:i figure this could come up w/ book jon, since Beric and Coldhands, while rezzed in different ways, are both clearly hosed up I kinda wish the show kept up the super weird poo poo in the books, like Coldhands instead of "Just Cold Benjen" and Lady Stoneheart. I'm curious if the show has actually proved beyond doubt that Coldhands is actually Benjen and not just some weird deus ex machina.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:07
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chaosapiant posted:Bran being King makes sense to me in the way that, if not him, then who? It's less "who among the slim pickings of survivors would make the best king" and more "howtf after a decade of war would someone like Bran unite the kingdom". Particularly because he explicitly didn't unite the kingdom, and what should have been his only guaranteed ally seceded. And at least two houses who were historically keen on independence just inexplicably gave up when they could have just reached out and grabbed it. It's like the characters were aware that they only had a few minutes left in the series so just stopped caring cause they also wanted to wrap it up and get the hell out of there.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:08
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Guy A. Person posted:It's less "who among the slim pickings of survivors would make the best king" and more "howtf after a decade of war would someone like Bran unite the kingdom". Particularly because he explicitly didn't unite the kingdom, and what should have been his only guaranteed ally seceded. And at least two houses who were historically keen on independence just inexplicably gave up when they could have just reached out and grabbed it. This is true, but we're still in a situation where there really is no good answer for a King, and they need a King. Or Queen. So Bran makes sense in that he's the least worst option, and they had no other options really. Aside from Jon Snow. I actually expected Jon Snow to rule with Samwise TarGee as his hand.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:10
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chaosapiant posted:This is true, but we're still in a situation where there really is no good answer for a King, and they need a King. Or Queen. So Bran makes sense in that he's the least worst option, and they had no other options really. Aside from Jon Snow. I actually expected Jon Snow to rule with Samwise TarGee as his hand. It seems like Jon, returned from the dead, freed us from the insane dragon queen, actual heir to the throne, Snow would be the logical choice. But Bran has a better story, in that nobody has ever heard of him or will believe that he can do anything he says he can do or would care. Oh right and he's crippled, because that always plays well with everyone.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:14
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Yea, I agree with you about Jon. He makes too much sense as King to not pick him and the only reason not to is to subvert expectation without actually needing to justify it. I also wish they didn't call him Bran the Broken. Why not "Bran the Raven" or "Bran Three-Eyes"? Bran the Broken is not a name that will inspire fear or respect from potential foreign invaders. Or local ones.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:16
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chaosapiant posted:I kinda wish the show kept up the super weird poo poo in the books, like Coldhands instead of "Just Cold Benjen" and Lady Stoneheart. I'm curious if the show has actually proved beyond doubt that Coldhands is actually Benjen and not just some weird deus ex machina. gurm has in the past said coldhands definitely ain't benjen, although he could change it I suppose imho it is probably a figure of some significance, or at least someone recognizable, since you want it to freak out Bran and the best way to do that is to have it be someone who should be dead maybe a dead Stark king or some vanished hero from ages past more boring options: one of Bloodraven's personal guards, the Raven's Teeth, or maybe a former Lord Commander chaosapiant posted:Yea, I agree with you about Jon. He makes too much sense as King to not pick him and the only reason not to is to subvert expectation without actually needing to justify it. I also wish they didn't call him Bran the Broken. Why not "Bran the Raven" or "Bran Three-Eyes"? Bran the Broken is not a name that will inspire fear or respect from potential foreign invaders. Or local ones. im 95% sure benioff and weiss coined "bran the broken" because they dimly recalled there was a guy named Bran the Breaker somewhere in the lore and thought it'd be cute PupsOfWar fucked around with this message at 17:20 on Jun 17, 2019 |
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Jun 17, 2019 17:17
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chaosapiant posted:This is true, but we're still in a situation where there really is no good answer for a King, and they need a King. Or Queen. So Bran makes sense in that he's the least worst option, and they had no other options really. Aside from Jon Snow. I actually expected Jon Snow to rule with Samwise TarGee as his hand. Yeah but again this is meta-logic of "they need a king, and it's the last episode". Realistically most of these houses would just claim independence or put forth their own claim and you'd either have a return to fractured kingdoms or you'd have a continuation of the bloody civil war. Unless the idea here is that all these houses each just wanted one specific person on the iron throne and now that those specific people are dead they're cool with whoever else.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:20
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Guy A. Person posted:Yeah but again this is meta-logic of "they need a king, and it's the last episode". Realistically most of these houses would just claim independence or put forth their own claim and you'd either have a return to fractured kingdoms or you'd have a continuation of the bloody civil war. ive always figured abolishing the 7 kingdoms as a unified entity will* be the endgame of the books Drogon melting down the iron throne is a longstanding fan theory and one of the few things in the last season i definitely think they could have gotten from gurm's bulletpoints although presumably in the books this will not be Drogon consciously melting it down due to his keen knowledge of semiotics *normal caveats, gurm dead etc.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:24
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There are clearly 7 kingdoms remaining after the north leaves, if they stayed that'd be 8 and that's pretty awkward.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:26
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So y'all think the mercenary company left in charge of meereen has figured out how profitable slavery is yet?
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Jun 17, 2019 17:27
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:So y'all think the mercenary company left in charge of meereen has figured out how profitable slavery is yet? I am definitely curious how a Daario led Mereen is handling things.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:30
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Invalid Validation posted:Yea I suppose they kinda came up with something out of pure luck. Gurm tends subvert more violently and emotionally. Bran being king had the emotion of a wet fart tied to it. The real difference is that GRRM does actual legwork to set up for his subversive poo poo and has characters make choices that put them in positions from which they can no longer escape and then doesn't intervene to save them. The showrunners' understanding of dramatic setup is just having characters say lines and then pointing back to them when they do something stupid and being like "ahh remember this!!! we got you good, we knew where we were going all along" and it's like who cares dude
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Jun 17, 2019 17:30
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TheIncredulousHulk posted:The real difference is that GRRM does actual legwork to set up for his subversive poo poo and has characters make choices that put them in positions from which they can no longer escape and then doesn't intervene to save them. The showrunners' understanding of dramatic setup is just having characters say lines and then pointing back to them when they do something stupid and being like "ahh remember this!!! we got you good, we knew where we were going all along" and it's like who cares dude This is very true, and I feel like fans of the show who haven't read the books are at an advantage because they likely can't see the difference here too much. But GRRM takes great pains to describe tons of useless poo poo only for it to matter later. He's all about setup and payoff which is why the books (even 4 and 5) are so good to me. The show runners seem to understand the result without understanding the how. After season 5 they're kinda just moving the characters around like on a chess board and giving vague reasons as to why they are there when they need to be.
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Jun 17, 2019 17:33
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:There are clearly 7 kingdoms remaining after the north leaves, if they stayed that'd be 8 and that's pretty awkward. ive always figured the tullys would be real buttmad about the riverlands not being counted for some reason probably spent 300 years formally petitioning the targs to rename the realm The 8 Kingdoms PupsOfWar fucked around with this message at 17:45 on Jun 17, 2019 |
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Jun 17, 2019 17:40
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pseudanonymous posted:It seems like Jon, returned from the dead, freed us from the insane dragon queen, actual heir to the throne, Snow would be the logical choice. But Bran has a better story, in that nobody has ever heard of him or will believe that he can do anything he says he can do or would care. Well they think he's not capable of fathering children but what's that gleam in the corner of his eyes? Eh? Does he know something tricksy about the milk of the cojones? The point was to break the wheel and ending dynastic rule would do that though. e: and you'd think he'd know not to appoint like, one of Sansa's kids or something because he could see how bloody terrible it would end up e2: he'd set up a whole state surveillance system of replanting heart trees everywhere and it'd be like cold war era paranoia 
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Jun 17, 2019 18:27
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I am curious about why Bran can't father children. My father was a quadriplegic due to a spinal injury and he had no issues popping a stiffy and hosing his CNAs down with semen. Why couldn't Bran do the same?
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Jun 17, 2019 18:29
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PupsOfWar posted:ive always figured the tullys would be real buttmad about the riverlands not being counted for some reason
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Jun 17, 2019 18:34
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chaosapiant posted:I am curious about why Bran can't father children. My father was a quadriplegic due to a spinal injury and he had no issues popping a stiffy and hosing his CNAs down with semen. Why couldn't Bran do the same? well the effects of a spinal injury vary a lot according to which bits of the spinal cord were damaged i think we have to just take Bran's word for it (he didn't gainsay sansa when she brought it up) and assume he damaged whichever part governs boners like presumably he just went "whoah drat, cant get it up anymore, guess I'd better tell sansa, the de-facto head of my house who would need to know this for purposes of arranging marriages and soforth." that's also doing sansa a solid, in that she would know there won't be any future bran-derived children to threaten her own childrens' claim on Winterfell
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Jun 17, 2019 18:43
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Nah it's pretty messed up to tell the world about your brother's broken dick. He's like, an international man of mystery and she spoiled the twist ending for whatever lucky lady ends up in his still-functioning arms.
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Jun 17, 2019 18:50
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Skratchez posted:Well they think he's not capable of fathering children but what's that gleam in the corner of his eyes? Eh? Does he know something tricksy about the milk of the cojones? I'm still not sure how ending dynastic rule actually makes things better since now all the other houses have a chance at the throne when he's dead.
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Jun 17, 2019 18:52
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