(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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good luck frog act. just getting out there in the dating scene takes a lot of courage. I recall you mentioning being forthright in your profiles, so that bodes well that you'll find someone who'll love you for you. I'm a broke -brained motherfucker and having a caring partner keeps me going a lot of the time, and her support has gotten me to admit poo poo to doctors I would have otherwise taken to my grave. i dont have a ton of friends either, and the ones i made in nh are largely chuds and cops since when I lived here last was when I worked in security at a college. once upon a time i wanted to be a cop. it was at that job i discovered police work is immoral and I had some friends go into the field after I begged them not to. i moved away in 2011 and moved back in 2018, so once I get settled in my new job, I'm planning on going to dsa meetings so I can meet more like minded people.
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Jun 20, 2019 18:14
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Frog Act posted:I’m honestly a little afraid of living alone. I can afford an apartment soon but I’ve lived with my parents my whole adult life through grad school, and in the last few years I’ve drifted away from most of my friends. if I get an apartment I could see myself going days without nonprofessional human contact and that’s really depressing when i first moved to living alone after years of 4 bedroom college apartments i made it about a month and a half before adopting a cat. the cat helps an awful lot
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Jun 20, 2019 18:35
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i want a dog when i finally get an apartment. however, i'm worried about the costs of caring for an animal, and leaving it alone when i'm working. cats definitely seem more low maintenance, and my therapist even suggested getting myself a hamster or a gerbil, but i really think a friendly pet like a dog would help with my loneliness and depression.
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Jun 20, 2019 18:53
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Eat This Glob posted:good luck frog act. just getting out there in the dating scene takes a lot of courage. I recall you mentioning being forthright in your profiles, so that bodes well that you'll find someone who'll love you for you. yeah, thats my hope. in the past i've had "luck" with going on second/third/fourth/indefinite unhealthy dynamics therafter quickly after meeting girls online so perhaps meeting a bunch but neither hitting it off nor despising one another is actually a good sign of growth. dating sucks. DSA things are a good idea, i keep missing their monthly meetings, but the local chapter is doing socialist night school tomorrow and i'm contemplating stopping by to see what kind of stuff they do there. idk if you're in a large/medium urban environment as well but it seems safe to assume there will be cool people at those meetings - i went to one last year and the guy manning the door was giving new members copies of "Reform or Revolution" with their schedules, which owns the bitcoin of weed posted:when i first moved to living alone after years of 4 bedroom college apartments i made it about a month and a half before adopting a cat. the cat helps an awful lot yeah i've got a cat i'll definitely be taking with me. he'll learn to deal with downsizing from my parents house to an apartment, i hope, but it does kinda worry me because he's a dumb cat who never even quite figured out cat stuff. anyway thanks dudes, i'm just gonna try to relax and do work and smoke weed and see if i can let my life improve slowly. this thread has been really helpful. also Equeen you should consider getting a cat, they can be just as friendly and loving as a dog, but without the walking obligation, and just generally as a lower-effort commitment with an equal return on love and affection. i can't even imagine living without a cat, i'd be dejected and lonely, they're great pets. Frog Act has issued a correction as of 19:01 on Jun 20, 2019 |
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Jun 20, 2019 18:56
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I second the cat idea. My engagement ended recently and I'm staying with my parents for a while to save up money. Getting a cat was crucial so I wouldn't just stew in my head all day. My job is remote, so she just sits under my desk and hangs out with me.
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Jun 20, 2019 20:25
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I'm a remote employee and they flew us in for the week. it was really nice to be around real people for work and I think I may try to find a new job
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Jun 20, 2019 20:31
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I’m quitting my job tomorrow morning. It’s maybe a bit impulsive, but they were never gonna give me a positive review or help me with my future. There’s a limit to what I can take. I guess I’m going back to having no health insurance and being broke. gently caress.
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Jun 20, 2019 20:42
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mekyabetsu posted:I’m quitting my job tomorrow morning. It’s maybe a bit impulsive, but they were never gonna give me a positive review or help me with my future. There’s a limit to what I can take. I guess I’m going back to having no health insurance and being broke. gently caress. my wife once quit a job with no other one to fall back on because it was causing her to edge towards a nervous breakdown. it sucked financially for a while, but at least the job market is OK-ish at the moment. good luck, goon! re: remote work, i'm going to be insisting on 60% remote work, preferably 100% except for all-hands meetings. i supervise no one, i require no supervision, and i drive 3 to 4 hours a day to and from work (round trip) and it's breaking my will to wake up in the morning. otherwise, my job is great. i mean, it's not terribly fulfilling, but the pay is solid and the work is the easiest and least stressful I've had (outside of the past few weeks leading up to a giant event I had to cover and prepare for. My 70 hour weeks will taper back down to 40 hours on the clock, and maybe 15 hour of it being actual work again). however, don't be surprised when i come back in 6 months bemoaning the lack of human connection. on the bright side, the office will always be there and I can go in any old time i want.
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Jun 20, 2019 20:50
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Eat This Glob posted:my wife once quit a job with no other one to fall back on because it was causing her to edge towards a nervous breakdown. it sucked financially for a while, but at least the job market is OK-ish at the moment. good luck, goon! Thanks. I’m just really not looking forward to finding a job with a negative employer on my resume. It’s not gonna make things easy when every company I interview with hears “yeah that guy sucked” from my most recent employer. Fuuuuck... 
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Jun 20, 2019 21:13
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mekyabetsu posted:Thanks. I’m just really not looking forward to finding a job with a negative employer on my resume. It’s not gonna make things easy when every company I interview with hears “yeah that guy sucked” from my most recent employer. Fuuuuck... are you american? how long have you been there? is it a big company? a ton of places in the US have a strict "we'll say this person did work here, but we won't say they were good, bad, or mediocre because we're scared of being sued." said wife has had to put supervisors down as "personal" rather than "professional" references for that very reason. the us sucks a lot, but so long as your profession isn't hugely insular and you're in the united states, i wouldn't sweat it too much.
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Jun 20, 2019 21:24
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Eat This Glob posted:are you american? how long have you been there? is it a big company? a ton of places in the US have a strict "we'll say this person did work here, but we won't say they were good, bad, or mediocre because we're scared of being sued." said wife has had to put supervisors down as "personal" rather than "professional" references for that very reason. the us sucks a lot, but so long as your profession isn't hugely insular and you're in the united states, i wouldn't sweat it too much. Yes, american, about 1.5 years, tiny “family” company. And yes, there are technically rules about what companies can and should say about past employees. Many (particularly tiny, family owned companies) don’t follow them, because what the gently caress are you gonna do about it? Sue them? With your now non-existent income? It’s like saying you can’t be fired for your race/gender/sexual orientation. This is america, of course you can. Easily. Let HR come up with the fake reason.
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Jun 20, 2019 21:38
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point taken. is there anyone friendly inside the place that can vouch for you that you trust? otherwise, just rope a friend, you with a burner, or some random goon (cough) into being that reference. assuming any prospective employer is willing to leave a voicemail, they or I can let them know you're the best florist/architect/pediatric surgeon/cake decorator/mason/taxi driver they've ever seen. they just call once and so long as the person picking up the phone knows why some rando is calling, poo poo's easy.
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Jun 20, 2019 21:46
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Eat This Glob posted:point taken. is there anyone friendly inside the place that can vouch for you that you trust? otherwise, just rope a friend, you with a burner, or some random goon (cough) into being that reference. assuming any prospective employer is willing to leave a voicemail, they or I can let them know you're the best florist/architect/pediatric surgeon/cake decorator/mason/taxi driver they've ever seen. they just call once and so long as the person picking up the phone knows why some rando is calling, poo poo's easy. Yep, I’ve done that before. Thanks for the advice by the way. I don’t mean to sound rude. I’m just a bit salty right now. 
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Jun 20, 2019 21:55
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no worries. i didn't even notice any salt on your previous reply. poo poo is stressful, so it'd be understandable even if you were miffed a bit. best of luck!
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Jun 20, 2019 22:06
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So sad and stressed it hurts. I want to sleep for a year.
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Jun 21, 2019 00:54
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My girlfriend is going on vacation with her family, but I can't go along because I don't have any PTO. But it's fine. She's the entirety of my support structure who doesn't live five hours away and isn't literally a dog. It's fine, I will be fine
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Jun 21, 2019 01:04
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i meditate daily. my brain is becoming ever-more powerful
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Jun 21, 2019 03:08
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i try to mediate consistently, but my brain refuses to shut the gently caress up for even five minutes.
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Jun 21, 2019 14:32
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Goon Danton posted:My girlfriend is going on vacation with her family, but I can't go along because I don't have any PTO. But it's fine. Dogs are good, the dog will help! Cats also. All animals. A+ can recommend.
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Jun 21, 2019 15:19
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Oh yeah the dogs will help a lot. They are my emotional support animal when I have panic, and I'm their emotional support animal when there's a thunderstorm. But they don't understand and can't reassure me when I'm convinced I have whatever rare deadly disease I have that day.
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Jun 21, 2019 16:21
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animist posted:i meditate daily. my brain is becoming ever-more powerful got a marianne voter over here
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Jun 21, 2019 19:33
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lol gonna get therapy on MEDICAID haha owned
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Jun 21, 2019 19:36
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juche avocado posted:lol gonna get therapy on MEDICAID haha owned taxpayer now you don't have to pay for my coroner's report &c congrats man! Medicaid owns. I had it for a month before they kicked me for reasons I still don’t comprehend and it’s very cool how cheap services were with that kinda coverage luckily now that I have a real job I can pay $150 a month for worse coverage
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Jun 21, 2019 19:37
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inshallah, we'll have medicare for all soon  i'm about 8 hours from needing to be at the airport to fly home from paris. lines wig me out something fierce and the fact that i'm a sweaty anxious mess makes going through security a pain in the dick, but hopefully my old friend ativan will make it bearable. as much as i'd rather stay in the eu, getting out of this tiny, noisy hotel and sleeping in a big bed with my wife will be a welcome relief
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Jun 21, 2019 21:01
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*bursting through clinic doors* I AM THE STATE! and yeah I'm checking in for my two o'clock, thanks
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Jun 21, 2019 21:10
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sometimes it feels like such a struggle to not give up. going to score clarification and having a TA point out to you that you just miss obvious easy questions for no reason. It's soul killing. Makes me feel like a moron, and I hate that a summer I planned to enjoy has become an unending slog of disappointment. the only good news is iv met some fellow engineers who can help me study and such, pisses me off how little this university cares about helping people with learning disabilities. tired of the constant negative reinforcement from everything and feeling hopeless about the future. and the worst part is i know this is a cycle where ill feel better later then fail another test and repeat this poo poo. gotta find a way to motivate myself to just go to every study session, every TA hours, every office hours. ugh
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Jun 21, 2019 22:42
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Venom Snake posted:sometimes it feels like such a struggle to not give up. going to score clarification and having a TA point out to you that you just miss obvious easy questions for no reason. It's soul killing. Makes me feel like a moron, and I hate that a summer I planned to enjoy has become an unending slog of disappointment. I’ve been on most polarities of the class level college experience as a failing student, a student, a straight A student, and then a TA responsible for grading thousands of tests and running study sessions, so I have a notion of where you’re coming from first, that TA is a dickhead, because you’re not missing them for no reason. there is always a reason when a student isn’t mastering the material and it isn’t necessarily the student, though it sounds like in this case you know it is some difficulty you’re having, but that means you can identify and conquer it. helping you figure that out and develop a set of study skills that work for you is the TAs job. can they help you with tutoring before and after tests? can you do a one on one session with them outside of the big sessions and open office hours? if they’re decent at TA stuff they’ll be flexible enough to do that without a second thought you mentioned your learning disability, which is something I also understand. I have dysgraphia and it followed me around in a big thick file in the school system my whole life. if you have similar documentation you should be entitled to some kind of accommodation from your schools department of disability services / accessibility / student resources or whatever they call it. like if you would benefit from changes in the environment and you can clinically attest to that don’t think twice about using those options. the TA should be able to help with this too, and the professor definitely will college is a lovely learning environment for many people and it really doesn’t reflect on your capacities in the real world, I don’t think. I am too much of a failson to confirm that in general, but when you’re in a job after school with your degree, you will have resources to help you with things you might have gotten a mediocre grade in. so I wouldn’t even think about that except in positive, “c’s get degrees” terms. because they do, and that’s what really matters I’ve known so many people in your position and everyone who tried hard enough to make the study sessions and pay attention would pass, because I was grading the tests and I knew they had been there, and their grades reflected that. so keep doing what you’re taking about and it’ll be solid
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Jun 21, 2019 22:53
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Venom Snake posted:sometimes it feels like such a struggle to not give up. going to score clarification and having a TA point out to you that you just miss obvious easy questions for no reason. It's soul killing. Makes me feel like a moron, and I hate that a summer I planned to enjoy has become an unending slog of disappointment. VS, does your university have a writing center? Sometimes they have other subjects for tutorials as well. It was a resource they forgot to tell anyone about at my large public university, so it was always easy to sign up for econ tutoring or what have you. Sometimes there are hidden resources like this.
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Jun 21, 2019 23:35
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my fun content for the thread is that since my engagement failed a month ago, I have finally had a streak of good days this week. So of course now I'm scared that I'm going to backslide soon.
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Jun 21, 2019 23:39
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e: removed
AARD VARKMAN has issued a correction as of 20:29 on Jul 17, 2020 |
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Jun 22, 2019 23:04
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how the gently caress do i find therapists/psychiatrists who aren't likely to ask if i've given myself to jesus yet? i know my brain has serious problems but i'm not willing to concede yet that it's only god's doing
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Jun 22, 2019 23:12
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TheAardvark posted:how the gently caress do i find therapists/psychiatrists who aren't likely to ask if i've given myself to jesus yet? i know my brain has serious problems but i'm not willing to concede yet that it's only god's doing psychologytoday.com has a fairly in depth search function and you could probably filter by people who are listed as LGBT-friendly to get away from the jesus people. it's still a pain but generally their search is better and more up to date than the one your insurance provides
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Jun 22, 2019 23:19
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the bitcoin of weed posted:psychologytoday.com has a fairly in depth search function and you could probably filter by people who are listed as LGBT-friendly to get away from the jesus people. it's still a pain but generally their search is better and more up to date than the one your insurance provides I used that the first time I had a psychotic break, before I started abusing alcohol. I had multiple therapists completely ignore my voice mails and impatient receptionists ask me to call back. I'm going to try and call a few of these now that I live here, but it just doesn't feel like there's any remotely easy way to find a good therapist. This thread and many others recommend therapy, but I've been hurt by incredibly terrible therapists multiple times before. I really wish there was any kind of reliable way to find ones who can help. Edit: My voice mails mostly consisted of "I'm having serious mental troubles, and am looking for a good therapist or psychiatrist. I would appreciate help, or recommendations for someone who could help" AARD VARKMAN has issued a correction as of 23:36 on Jun 22, 2019 |
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Jun 22, 2019 23:32
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TheAardvark posted:I used that the first time I had a psychotic break, before I started abusing alcohol. I had multiple therapists completely ignore my voice mails and impatient receptionists ask me to call back. I'm going to try and call a few of these now that I live here, but it just doesn't feel like there's any remotely easy way to find a good therapist. This thread and many others recommend therapy, but I've been hurt by incredibly terrible therapists multiple times before. I really wish there was any kind of reliable way to find ones who can help.
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Jun 22, 2019 23:37
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I find work really confusing and difficult to understand. It feels like im the only developer who is not an apprentice that is having this issue. Every day I go in I feel like I am goimg to get fired. It has gotten to the point where my stomach and GI are so messed up that I have frequent diarreha and that I constantly feel nauseous. Also, I feel like I constantly look like I dont understand anything and that everuone thinks I'm a pompous rear end and Im an idiot. Well, finally I am able to take a week off to go visit Colorado for the first time, which Ive always wanted to do. The morning I get here, I notice that a coworker has posted a diatribe about how I am awful at my work on the team Slack message board. I caught it before it was up more than 20 minutes or so, but it fills me with dread and self-loathing. I messaged him to be like wtf, take that down, if you have a problem with me tell me, dont embarrass me in front of the entire team. He took it down and we ended up having a phone call for about an hour and I guess the situation is better, but I am so deeply embarrassed. I cant believe he wouldve done this, and it basically confirms my worst fear that I am useless. My girlfriend is trying to make me feel better about the whole thing, but I honestly feel my entire vacation is ruined. I cant bear the thought of going back into work next Monday and having to be in that environment. I just started this job abkut seven months ago and I can't just go ahead and job hop once again.
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Jun 23, 2019 00:40
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Ferdinand the Bull posted:I find work really confusing and difficult to understand. It feels like im the only developer who is not an apprentice that is having this issue. Every day I go in I feel like I am goimg to get fired. It has gotten to the point where my stomach and GI are so messed up that I have frequent diarreha and that I constantly feel nauseous. Also, I feel like I constantly look like I dont understand anything and that everuone thinks I'm a pompous rear end and Im an idiot.
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Jun 23, 2019 01:04
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Ferdinand the Bull posted:I find work really confusing and difficult to understand. It feels like im the only developer who is not an apprentice that is having this issue. Every day I go in I feel like I am goimg to get fired. It has gotten to the point where my stomach and GI are so messed up that I have frequent diarreha and that I constantly feel nauseous. Also, I feel like I constantly look like I dont understand anything and that everuone thinks I'm a pompous rear end and Im an idiot. Your coworker sounds like a tool and his actions are so unprofessional that you shouldn't take it as a reflection on your ability at work at all. Colorado is lovely. Think of your next few days there as helping you to recharge and heal a bit from the past seven months.
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Jun 23, 2019 01:08
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FactsAreUseless posted:It sounds like you might want a licensed psychiatrist/psychologist rather than a therapist. I've known people who have had both better and worse experiences, but it might help eliminate some of the church-focused ones. I would really like to hear some positive stories from people who have had bad therapists before. I honestly still believe they can do great things, but I'm having a lot of trouble correlating that with the ones I've been recommended here in the south. I just can't deal with another thearpist telling me that I need to "open myself to the lord" before I can help myself.
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Jun 23, 2019 01:08
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Ferdinand the Bull posted:I find work really confusing and difficult to understand. It feels like im the only developer who is not an apprentice that is having this issue. Every day I go in I feel like I am goimg to get fired.
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Jun 23, 2019 01:08
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TheAardvark posted:I would really like to hear some positive stories from people who have had bad therapists before. I honestly still believe they can do great things, but I'm having a lot of trouble correlating that with the ones I've been recommended here in the south. I just can't deal with another thearpist telling me that I need to "open myself to the lord" before I can help myself.
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Jun 23, 2019 01:43
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