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Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

oh my god i agree with donald trump on something i need to bathe in boiling bleach and rasp the flesh from my bones with a wire brush

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Metroid Fitzgerald
Feb 13, 2012

B O O O O B S . . . !



SneezeOfTheDecade
Feb 6, 2011

gettin' covid all
over your posts

I guess now that r/the_donald's been sequestered he doesn't need to care about keeping the Reddit vote anymore.

https://twitter.com/MowtenDoo/status/1149215490423713793

Mister Mind
Mar 20, 2009

I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm

Captainsalami posted:

Oh God the replies.

wizzardstaff
Apr 6, 2018

Zorch! Splat! Pow!
Post good (fake) tweets

grittyreboot
Oct 2, 2012

https://twitter.com/pointclickbait/status/1149486732674387969?s=19

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/drinksmcgee/status/1149377145548025856?s=21

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.


WHEN THE TIMER IS OUT, THE TIMER IS OUT. I MAKE EXCEPTIONS, BUT IF I DID IT ALL THE TIME THEY WOULD CEASE TO BE EXCEPTIONAL.

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.
It is very important you turn the sound on for this video.

https://twitter.com/kxthleen/status/1149248206330617856

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Porcupines are weapons-grade cute.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

Skwirl posted:

It is very important you turn the sound on for this video.

https://twitter.com/kxthleen/status/1149248206330617856

The "baah" when he goes for the reward made me giggle in my chair

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

https://twitter.com/womensart1/status/1149589780486692865

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



I love this

https://twitter.com/CateOwen/status/1149590203335471104

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/_youhadonejob1/status/1149644479055323138?s=21

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/DCpierson/status/474965993798643712

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010
https://twitter.com/DerekWearsHats/status/1149102525242642432

https://twitter.com/YungShaboinky/status/1144190046649692160

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/SparkNotes/status/1149375037998284802

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/taylorlorenz/status/1149746863479779328?s=21

Mister Mind
Mar 20, 2009

I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm
https://twitter.com/marscuriosity/status/1149747596681814017?s=21

:3:

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

Looks like a pimple

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/tiredlefty/status/1149382106528673792?s=21

grittyreboot
Oct 2, 2012


Kid's better at pretending to be regretful than most YouTubers

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.



https://twitter.com/longwall26/status/1149726844385521665

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/evaandheriud/status/1149712118872256512?s=21

DontMockMySmock
Aug 9, 2008

I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

I had a co-worker tell me a couple months ago that he thought he could take absolutely any woman in a fight, even a champion mma prizefighter, despite being a slightly doughy 50 year old with zero training. As far as I can tell, he was being completely serious.

Caedus
Sep 11, 2007

It's good to have a sense of scale.



UnfurledSails
Sep 1, 2011

DontMockMySmock posted:

I had a co-worker tell me a couple months ago that he thought he could take absolutely any woman in a fight, even a champion mma prizefighter, despite being a slightly doughy 50 year old with zero training. As far as I can tell, he was being completely serious.

Six Cyborg on him

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


DontMockMySmock posted:

I had a co-worker tell me a couple months ago that he thought he could take absolutely any woman in a fight, even a champion mma prizefighter, despite being a slightly doughy 50 year old with zero training. As far as I can tell, he was being completely serious.

that was a bit on jackass

no points for guessing how it went, but maybe you should send this guy a video of it

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Doc Hawkins posted:

that was a bit on jackass

no points for guessing how it went, but maybe you should send this guy a video of it

Ryan Dunn knew full well he was getting his rear end beat before that match.

grittyreboot
Oct 2, 2012

https://twitter.com/iancanwrite/status/1149562425173131264?s=19

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
https://twitter.com/tomscocca/status/1149829229825204225

:discourse:

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/jennyenicholson/status/1149862229254107137?s=21

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Get bashed, platonist!


Well, how long is this game? As the length of a match approaches infinity, my probability of scoring a point trends toward 100%.

Oh wait, I’ve failed to factor in my probability of collapsing from exhaustion. Let me recrunch the numbers..

Okay yeah, I wouldn’t even make it onto the court.

rodbeard
Jul 21, 2005

That dipshit went to Sea world what did she expect?

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

So I didn't try and look at the TNR piece until after it was taken down. But what the ever loving loving Christ is this?


https://twitter.com/SopanDeb/status/1149784848703340544?s=19

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/thotcheeetos/status/1146653397891743744?s=21

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Skwirl posted:

So I didn't try and look at the TNR piece until after it was taken down. But what the ever loving loving Christ is this?


https://twitter.com/SopanDeb/status/1149784848703340544?s=19

That's erotic fanfiction

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

DontMockMySmock posted:

I had a co-worker tell me a couple months ago that he thought he could take absolutely any woman in a fight, even a champion mma prizefighter, despite being a slightly doughy 50 year old with zero training. As far as I can tell, he was being completely serious.

This is a very common thing among idiot men.


UnfurledSails posted:

Six Cyborg on him

Amanda Nunes beat her down earlier this year and is now the undisputed greatest female MMA fighter of all time. Nunes' low kick into overhand right is a thing of terrifying beauty and would beat 99.9% of the people on the planet, the person writing this and every single person reading it included.

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Katt
Nov 14, 2017


The whole comment section is people reading the tweet straight and reprimanding the OP for the smile comment.

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