Cute Thread: hypothetical murder potato

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Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Safari Disco Lion posted:

How come when I'm just going about my day doing stuff I never have a cat randomly show up and start yelling at me for not giving it pets and food?

Walk the streets randomly and this will almost certainly happen at some point. Some cats are very trusting.

e: on my way to applying for a new job just the other day, there was a cat dozing by the sidewalk, barely glancing at me as I walked past. I did not scritch its ears as I was almost late for my interview

Phlegmish has a new favorite as of 07:15 on Jul 12, 2019

# ? Jul 12, 2019 07:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 23:40

Former DILF: Jul 13, 2017

Elias_Maluco posted:

you came to the right neighborhood motherfucker

# ? Jul 12, 2019 07:22

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

OnceAndFuture DILF posted:

you came to the right neighborhood meowtherfucker

# ? Jul 12, 2019 12:59

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/41Strange/status/1149334348367192064

# ? Jul 12, 2019 14:43

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

# ? Jul 12, 2019 16:36

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Liking the new Majima DLC for Kiwami 2!

# ? Jul 12, 2019 16:47

fool of sound: Oct 10, 2012

Bobby Digital posted:

new pokemon game looking great

# ? Jul 12, 2019 17:10

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

When is a shellfish not a shellfish?

https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1149790322014089216

# ? Jul 12, 2019 22:51

Jagged Jim: Sep 26, 2013; I... I can only look though the window...

Dick Trauma posted:

When is a shellfish not a shellfish?

https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1149790322014089216

I love that it was going :byewhore:

as it jumped off the side of the boat.

# ? Jul 12, 2019 23:12

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

https://i.imgur.com/JEuLE25.mp4

# ? Jul 12, 2019 23:23

MrUnderbridge: Jun 25, 2011

LifeSunDeath posted:

https://i.imgur.com/JEuLE25.mp4

That new live action Whack-A-Mole movie lookin' good!

# ? Jul 12, 2019 23:39

StrixNebulosa: Feb 14, 2012; You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

https://twitter.com/Mr_Meowwwgi/status/1149052008281923584

# ? Jul 13, 2019 01:02

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

StrixNebulosa posted:

https://twitter.com/Mr_Meowwwgi/status/1149052008281923584

New God of War looking good.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 04:14

ILL Machina: Mar 25, 2004; Glory to Italia!

Ayy!! This text is-a the color of marinara! Ohhhh!! Dat's amore!!

can we just report everything or is that against the rules

# ? Jul 13, 2019 04:54

ILL Machina: Mar 25, 2004; Glory to Italia!

Ayy!! This text is-a the color of marinara! Ohhhh!! Dat's amore!!

Curtis acid fix (autocorrect version)
Curious arctic fox (actual version) https://i.imgur.com/MiRsirK.gifv

# ? Jul 13, 2019 04:55

Huzzah!: Sep 15, 2007; Malnutrition is scarier than any beastie.

https://twitter.com/41Strange/status/1149897493594796032

# ? Jul 13, 2019 05:40

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

https://twitter.com/AFLBarwon/status/1141637443101188096

Go granny go!

# ? Jul 13, 2019 06:02

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

https://twitter.com/DoingJobs/status/1149876941668806656

# ? Jul 13, 2019 13:43

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

# ? Jul 13, 2019 16:01

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; Can't post for 5 hours!

Synthbuttrange posted:

https://twitter.com/DoingJobs/status/1149876941668806656

I love how malamute puppies are like 90% fluff :3:

# ? Jul 13, 2019 16:17

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

ILL Machina posted:

Curtis acid fix (autocorrect version)
Curious arctic fox (actual version) https://i.imgur.com/MiRsirK.gifv

I'm sure he won't mind if you call him Curtis

# ? Jul 13, 2019 16:46

there wolf: Jan 11, 2015; by Fluffdaddy

LifeSunDeath posted:

Every dude the first time they get under a bra.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 17:46

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

https://i.imgur.com/u8HaISy.gifv

# ? Jul 13, 2019 18:03

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

There�s really no reason whatsoever for why these things aren�t extinct yet:

https://i.imgur.com/H8AfcZ2.mp4

# ? Jul 13, 2019 20:07

Azhais: Feb 5, 2007; Switchblade Switcharoo

Cartoon Man posted:

There’s really no reason whatsoever for why these things aren’t extinct yet:

https://i.imgur.com/H8AfcZ2.mp4

The peacocks tried to hurry that process up, but the Panda Kung Fu was too strong

# ? Jul 13, 2019 20:57

Huzzah!: Sep 15, 2007; Malnutrition is scarier than any beastie.

https://twitter.com/tatuya01/status/1150041164558397442

# ? Jul 13, 2019 21:14

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

Huzzah! posted:

https://twitter.com/tatuya01/status/1150041164558397442

Cartoon Director and legend Chuck Jones had a cat growing up that was addicted to grapefruit...

Chuck Jones in his autobiography, Chuck Amuck, posted:

"He moved into our house that morning, bag and baggage. The bag was that cat bag all cats live in, one of the few characteristics he shared with other cats. He sat fat and walked thin like other cats, but the resemblance to other cats stopped there.

"His baggage was what appeared to be a very old, very used tongue depressor, fastened securely about his neck with a bit of tarry string, bearing in violet indelible ink the crude inscription: JOHNSON. Whether this was his name, that of his former proprietors, or his blood type we were unable to determine, since he discussed his past not at all and responded to the name Johnson as well as nay other, which was not at all; actually going in response to that name only to my mother and then only when she offered him grapefruit.

"For it cannot be denied that Johnson was a patsy for grapefruit. Many a battered mouse owed his life and his continued livelihood to an unknown grapefruit offered to Johnson by my mother. Johnson would leave a Bismarck herring, a stick of catnip, or a decayed sea gull for a single wedge of grapefruit. For a whole grapefruit, he would have committed fraud or practiced usury.

"�but Johnson insisted that she misunderstood his needs. After a brief conversation in different languages, my mother reluctantly offered Johnson the remains of her grapefruit.

"�There was a sudden electric blue crack in the atmosphere like those preceding a tornado, as Johnson went at that innocent grapefruit like a tangerine-colored buzz saw: as the stripped shell of the fruit spun slowly to a stop like a twisting coin, Johnson sat staring dreamy-eyed, dreamy-grinned at Mother. As the reamed-out grapefruit rind whirled to a long loping stop, Johnson's lox-pink tongue tenderly flicked a final golden drop from a whisker and whispered to Mother the single English word he knew: "More."

*From James Joyce's Ulysses, but Johnson said it first.

Humbug Scoolbus has a new favorite as of 23:12 on Jul 13, 2019

# ? Jul 13, 2019 23:09

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Cartoon Man posted:

There�s really no reason whatsoever for why these things aren�t extinct yet:

https://i.imgur.com/H8AfcZ2.mp4

For some reason pandas always look like people in suits to me.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 01:25

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/Nc8uNGr.mp4

Pride shrimp

# ? Jul 14, 2019 01:25

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Synthbuttrange posted:

https://twitter.com/DoingJobs/status/1149876941668806656

Please tell me they're being pulled by a sled team of their aunties and uncles.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 05:55

Trabant: Nov 26, 2011; All systems nominal.

IMJack posted:

Please tell me they're being pulled by a sled team of their aunties and uncles.

Hopefully/thankfully not, because they'd be going 50 mph.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 06:29

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Neighbor's cat brothers. I think they are Norwegian Forest cats.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 06:32

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Yeah, sled dogs really only have two speeds: full stop, and :byodood:

WOOOOO!

E: gorgeous cats is what they are

# ? Jul 14, 2019 06:33

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

https://i.imgur.com/wrOC91U.mp4

# ? Jul 14, 2019 06:36

Knorth: Aug 19, 2014; Buglord

I would live in a forest with those cats

# ? Jul 14, 2019 06:49

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Listen to his meow! Heart melts every time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQFQsVnxuhY

# ? Jul 14, 2019 07:16

PurpleXVI: Oct 30, 2011; Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

Mu Zeta posted:

Listen to his meow! Heart melts every time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQFQsVnxuhY

I think I can pretty definitely say those are Norwegian Forest Cats, because I've never met one that wasn't adorably chatty like that. They're very good cats.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 08:23