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Thots and Prayers posted:{Arabiolosis} -- Chapter 2: Culture Clash What a horrible book this is, I applaud and appreciate your efforts This is on par with the Teignmouth Electron guys’ insane “Theory of Everything” manifesto
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Jul 15, 2019 16:42
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| # ? May 24, 2024 02:32 |
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Yea thanks for the insane book quotes and recaps - very entergaging
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Jul 15, 2019 17:53
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This is really clever
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Jul 16, 2019 02:22
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Thots and Prayers posted:{Arabiolosis} -- Chapter 2: Culture Clash
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Jul 16, 2019 02:37
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Prokhor Zakharov posted:And you can use the box as a holder for your j/o tissues Cool, I never know where to put them when I’m finished
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Jul 16, 2019 16:45
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{ Arabioliosis } Chapter 3: Let the battle beginquote:Mazri's Law #3 - Never let emotion overrule rationale unless emotion has a rational justification, only then are you allowed to feel. Until then, you just think with your mind to drive your heart. Do not be the passenger of your own life! Oh poo poo, I've read this book too many times because I found myself nodding as I typed out Do not be the passenger of your own life! Mmm yeah ol' Nathen's got a point here... I might need a break. quote:Ready? Fight! Now, it is just a fight between me, myself, and I, as the devils have begun dancing in my life. At the age of 15, I still reside in the middle of nowhere. One hardship after another has been standing in queue ready to attack. Okay, I'd like to reiterate that the memoirs are semi-chronological and that we'll be stalled out in these angst-y teenage years for a while. Those fights I had to read from the previous chapter? Literally a teenager arguing with his parents. When he said he went off to his room he may very well have been sent to it for chrissakes. Anyways, we're in for many pages of how Nathan feels about Saudi Arabia. This boy loves to just squeeze metaphors until they bleed: quote:Due to the culture clash and extreme religious regulations, it creates something like a life sentence to Folsom State Prison, but there's an illusion that it's better as the kind of prison I am in is more lenient and spacious. I have the ability to hear Johnny Cash's songs of blue play over and over again. Also, it provides services such as high school education and unlimited family visits. Nathen goes on and on about how much of a prison this place is and how really supremely boring and terrible it is. He does manage to find a small reprieve from the dull nightmare of his life: quote:I'd sit in my bedroom alone or on the big blue couch in the living room while my heart was shred into silent tears. I'd go outside to take in a bit of fresh air, but unfortunately the extreme 48 degrees Celsius heat waves would suffocate me and I would become more breathless than I already was. Behold - the secret Garficcino recipe! I adore the mental image I have of teenage Nathen sulking around the house and causing scenes only to do the 'rub the sides of your nose' thing and declare he was 'absolutely dying' without his Nescafe. "[E]xtra caffeine and 4 to 5 spoons of sugar"? A spaz drink par excellence, if 'Nescafe with extra caffeine' even exists. Legit shocked that asthma didn't make the laundry list of illnesses that were in his bio. quote:(My Homemade Garfaccino) instigates my brain to dream and contemplate my future while I sit with two fingers of my right hand on the side of my forehead full of loathing for my present life and full of love for my future. Forget the previous chapter's Wikipedia cut and paste, this entire chapter reads like a hyperbolic teenage diary. quote:Here I was, at home, ill-humored like always, sitting on the big blue couch of suede with my dearest Nescafe. I could hear something soft and tender tearing up right under my lower chest and at the peak of my stomach. With nothing better to do, I watched Entertainment Tonight, but I wondered if it was up-to-date since this place also lacks updated western programs. Riveting stuff here, Nathen. Will Pam Anderson find new love? What if this is delayed and she already has? drat YOU SAUDI ARABIAAAAA The 'tearing' stuff is just more storytelling hyperbole - I skipped pages and pages of complaints like this. This is how he writes. Speaking of writing the rest of the chapter is him tacitly admitting that he was a huge pain in the rear end for the rest of the family and then recounting yet another fight with his mother. I'm not retyping any of that and we're done with Chapter 3! Nothing happened! quote:What is the theme of Chapter 3? That first sentence sort of reads like a real sentence but I found it really difficult to type as it's just a mess. And I still don't know what the theme of Chapter 3 was. Up next: Arabiolysis, Chapter 4: poo poo gets real weird Thots and Prayers fucked around with this message at 04:00 on Jul 18, 2019 |
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Jul 18, 2019 03:56
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Nathen Mazri via Thots and Prayers posted:sitting on the big blue couch of suede with my dearest Nescafe ... I watched Entertainment Tonight, but I wondered if it was up-to-date https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfVfa_w7NsU&t=30s No wonder Garfield hit hard
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Jul 18, 2019 04:32
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Thank you for bringing this nonsensical treasure to us. I always think I write like poo poo, but nah turns out I'm okay. At least I can structure a sentence to a readable degree.
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Jul 18, 2019 14:29
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Taking bets on what'll happen first: Thots and Prayers finishes posting the book or Nathen's Garfield restaurant goes out of business.
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Jul 18, 2019 15:24
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“Johnny Cash’s Songs of Blue” seems like a good user name for an engrish gimmick-poster or something.
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Jul 18, 2019 23:12
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how am i so mad at a child’s beverage
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Jul 18, 2019 23:30
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I'm starting to think this Nathen isn't a very good writer or a very good anything
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Jul 19, 2019 03:50
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I spend my precious life at home knitting a long black cape while I can one day use to fly I mean that's entergagement
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Jul 19, 2019 11:36
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COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:I'm starting to think this Nathen isn't a very good writer or a very good anything very good fail-son?
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Jul 19, 2019 12:23
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COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:I'm starting to think this Nathen isn't a very good writer or a very good anything to be fair, his parents couldn't spell Nathan correctly so it probably runs in the family
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Jul 19, 2019 13:13
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 :drakeno: manchild :drakeyes: kidult piled high
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Jul 19, 2019 15:38
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If you’re an adult you can eat the whole thing and not leave the jowls to the side so Mom can clean it up.
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Jul 19, 2019 15:46
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that pizza kinda looks like garfield's face after he suffered some kind of industrial welding accident
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Jul 19, 2019 15:54
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There should be legal boundaries to how much one man can disrupt pizza
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Jul 19, 2019 16:46
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Icochet posted:There should be legal boundaries to how much one man can disrupt pizza http://www.pizzariabatepapo.com.br/
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Jul 19, 2019 16:48
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hmm i see your point but this thing seems to have a certain joie de vivre that garfield boy is lacking
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Jul 19, 2019 16:53
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 Ordered a BBQ steak pizza and an orange garfaccino. Pray for me. There's a video on a constant loop of Jim Davis telling me how great Garfeats is.
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Jul 19, 2019 17:53
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Mr Luxury Yacht posted:
 You didn’t get the spaghetti cow? drat. Also, please take a video. I don’t think we can fully appreciate your experience without audio. Frank Frank fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Jul 19, 2019 |
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Jul 19, 2019 17:55
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 I'm now the proud owner of two Garfield points whatever those are. It's like 30 degrees and humid outside and I wish I could spend them on air conditioning.
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Jul 19, 2019 17:56
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The orange garfaccino is impressive. It somehow smells strongly of bitter orange peel while managing to be completely flavorless. I can't detect any hint of either orange or coffee taste. They've discovered a new flavor and that flavor is "blank". Water is more flavorful than this. Mr Luxury Yacht fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Jul 19, 2019 |
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Jul 19, 2019 18:00
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 While I wait for my pizza please enjoy the comic that came with my garfaccino
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Jul 19, 2019 18:04
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Are you going to turn that cup into a tissue dispenser or a pencil holder after you've used it?
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Jul 19, 2019 18:08
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 There's no place to sit so I'll have to report on taste when I get home. FYI those two things together was $23 lmao.
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Jul 19, 2019 18:09
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Thank you for your service, Mr. Yacht. Were there any other people?
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Jul 19, 2019 18:12
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steinrokkan posted:Thank you for your service, Mr. Yacht. Were there any other people? Aside from some dude from the street they were paying $10 to wash the windows, nope.
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Jul 19, 2019 18:45
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Pizza review: First of all, the sauce. It's so thin. Like theoretically this thing has barbeque sauce on it, but barbeque water is a more accurate description. It makes the whole thing soggy as hell and actually drips off the pizza as you try and eat it. Nevertheless, this is where the bulk of what flavor exists on this pizza comes from. Mr Luxury Yacht fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Jul 19, 2019 |
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Jul 19, 2019 18:51
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Can you estimate how likely the pizza is to give you diarrhea, and also whether it left a film in your mouth.
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Jul 19, 2019 18:55
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Next up the toppings. The steak is about the same quality you'd get on a Subway steak and cheese but is surprisingly edible. Ditto for the onions and green peppers. Not much flavor again but, compared to the monstrosity that comes next it's passable.
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Jul 19, 2019 18:55
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Let's talk about the cheese. After five minutes it congealed into a horrible rubbery mass. Like you know how pizza cheese gets after a few days in the fridge? This thing manages to get to that level in minutes. It also, again, manages to be entirely devoid of flavor. If this was an intentional effort to make the blandest, most tasteless food possible they'd deserve a Nobel prize. Update: Found the flavor of the garfaccino. It was entirely contained in a mass of raw orange peels hiding in the bottom of the cup that just dumps into your mouth all at once when you try and finish the coffee. Gross.
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Jul 19, 2019 18:59
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Mr Luxury Yacht posted:
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Jul 19, 2019 19:04
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Alright finally, the crust. I ordered a thick crust but there's no way they got it right. It's thin as hell, cornmeal dusted, and has about the same flavour as a cheap store bought frozen pizza. 
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Jul 19, 2019 19:04
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Mr Luxury Yacht posted:
I'll give 'em this much, they seem to have gotten better at shaping the things if those earlier pics are to be believed.
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Jul 19, 2019 19:07
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Gonna make my own pizza this weekend out of protest.
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Jul 19, 2019 19:08
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I will now attempt to follow the Re-box instructions Update: It can't actually be done. The guidelines in the actual box don't match the instructions. And thus ends my GarfieldEats experience. Some other poor bastard is going to have to review the rest of the menu like the lasagna, Spaghetti Cow, and Watermelon smoothie. Mr Luxury Yacht fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Jul 19, 2019 |
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Jul 19, 2019 19:15
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| # ? May 24, 2024 02:32 |
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Mr Luxury Yacht posted:Update: Found the flavor of the garfaccino. It was entirely contained in a mass of raw orange peels hiding in the bottom of the cup that just dumps into your mouth all at once when you try and finish the coffee. Gross. Lmao
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Jul 19, 2019 19:17
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