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exmachina
Mar 12, 2006

Look Closer

Sten Freak posted:

Yes get help and do your job because that is lame.

The Wire season where they sit around watching a UI for days for some data they could have gotten in seconds with a query bugged me.

Season 2 right? The dock workers were manipulating the system to make containers disappear (in the system) they needed to watch it in real time so they could look in the real world for anything weird, it does no good to find it even an hour later..

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wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Computer toucher goon: Learn how to actually do what you're supposed to do, then just "make it take" whatever length of time your bosses think its supposed to take. Or if you want to look good, make it take a few days less.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
At least play Doom or something while you're at work you lazy piece of poo poo rear end in a top hat. God! Kids these days can't even be lazy the right way anymore.

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

Poldarn posted:

The only reward for a job well done is another job, so I usually sit on it for a bit.

This. If you do it right, you still get paid to surf the forums 70% of the time, but you look like a hero for still completing it so quick.

Just be careful not to automate yourself out of a job. I've lost a couple jobs because I made it look so easy they decided they didn't need to keep paying me.

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
Awhile back, I had to create an Arduino sketch to run a prototype device I'd designed and I was having a really hard time because I got hung up on one floating point value.

So, I ended up hiring a Pakistani dude from Fiverr to do it for me. 20 bucks later and I had a functioning sketch and my project worked.

But, I told the managers what I was doing bc programming isn't my strong suit and they thought it was brilliant.

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
do-nothing-IT-goon yeah duh everyone in IT has social anxiety that's why we pick such a poo poo job. Just google your problems and if that doesn't work post anonymously on some forum like a normal person.

That said, it's completely normal to do nothing for months. The longer you do the job the better you become at covering your rear end.

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
Good IT Dept. : what do we even pay you for?

Bad IT Dept. : what do we even pay you for?

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

I feel like every content post starts with "I have content :wth:" these days

quote:

I can only cum while staring into a mirror.

quote:

When I grew up, being gay was controversial... so maybe I'm shaped by that time. But I have a 19 year old son who came out in his teens and now he's started bringing home boyfriends. I was fine with him being gay and didn't really think about it much beyond worrying if he was getting flak for it in school since the world is a lovely place - so I always tried to listen to him and be supportive. So I'd like to think I'm a decent parent

But, I can hear him talking to his boyfriend in his room every now and then and as I understand it my son is a bottom and his boyfriend a top. I kind of just pushed the image out of my head

but the other night I heard them having sex and I heard my son moaning and I couldn't help but think less of him for being plowed by some dude

this is ridiculous but it's how it is

He's obviously into it so why do I think less of him for it? If I had a daughter would I think less of her for loving some dude? It sucks how the brain works sometimes

I think it's pretty normal to be weirded out by thinking about your kids having sex in general, so if I were you I'd try not to think about the specifics w/r/t tops and bottoms at all

First one was short and I have enough for one more

quote:

You think FIFA is upset about all the debate surrounding equal pay for the women’s teams and the criticism for lack of promotion and scheduling men’s finals in other tournaments on the same day? Guess again.

FIFA is thrilled to have anything distract from what’s really going on. And I’m not even talking about what led to Qatr winning the bid for the next men’s World Cup or the slave labor that’s being used to build the stadiums there. That’s not even the tip of the iceberg. Follow the money ...

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
FIFA being cartoonishly evil isnt black OPS it’s so common knowledge Last week Tonight has done two separate episodes about it.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Ha, remember when the US tried to launch an inquiry into FIFA corruption? What ever happened with that?

mfcrocker
Jan 31, 2004



Hot Rope Guy
Yeah I mean, why wouldn't we focus on equal pay and poor promotion of the women's game? There's not much to do on the colossal corruption when they're being investigated by several national police forces

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

Dad of gay: that's normal. You were raised to think a certain way and that's how your brain reacts at first due to it. However, you yourself see it is wrong and react against it, which is what's important, you're going against your programming and asserting your own values rather than your parents'.

I read once that your first thought is what you were trained to think and your second is what you actually believe, and I think it's true. That you can see your first thought is wrong and change it is proof you're beyond that.

That said maybe ask your son and his boyfriend to be a bit less noisy because I imagine that's uncomfortable regardless of his sexuality.

Mirror cum guy: same

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
You can't cum unless you see him in a mirror too?

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

Solice Kirsk posted:

You can't cum unless you see him in a mirror too?

Valiant effort but that doesn't make sense with the confession's wording.

Alternatively, yes.

Weaponized Autism
Mar 26, 2006

All aboard the Gravy train!
Hair Elf
Mirror cum guy is actually Patrick Bateman.

El_Elegante
Jul 3, 2004

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Biscuit Hider
For now we see in a mirror cumly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
Mirror cum guy didn't even say he's looking at anything. He's could just have a fetish for z axis inversion.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Plot twist, it's the Mirror of Galadriel and he's using it to spy on Eowyn

Audax
Dec 1, 2005
"LOL U GOT OWNED"
Dad of gay son maybe consider that your son is a power bottom and is in charge.
Also go ask your wife to stick her finger in your rear end while she blows you and you'll enter a whole new world

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017

Weaponized Autism posted:

Mirror cum guy is actually Patrick Bateman.

Kosmo Gallion
Sep 13, 2013

Audax posted:

Dad of gay son maybe consider that your son is a power bottom and is in charge.
Also go ask your wife to stick her finger in your rear end while she blows you and you'll enter a whole new world

I feel sorry for anybody that doesn't do this.

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
Uh, just don't think about your kids having sex.

Also, tell your son to be quiet since you can hear him through the walls.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Rad-daddio posted:

Uh, just don't think about your kids having sex.

Also, tell your son to be quiet since you can hear him through the walls.

yeah this is basically where I am with it

Like, on the one hand, that guy's son shouldn't be shamed for the specific type of gay sex he likes to have, but, on the other hand "oh no I thought about my kid having sex and it freaked me out, am I a bad parent???" No, nobody likes to think about that, as long as you're not chasing his boyfriends off with a shotgun or whatever you're fine

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
FIFA = corrupt.... So what, wasn't the head guy of Formula 1 a Nazi or some poo poo?

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

It's fair to assume that the high-level people in any given organization are minimally sociopaths and probably Nazis and rapists too

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

802.11weed posted:

this is why i don’t have sex

yeah that must be it

Sagebrush posted:

It's fair to assume that the high-level people in any given organization are minimally sociopaths and probably Nazis and rapists too

:agreed:

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

wesleywillis posted:

FIFA = corrupt.... So what, wasn't the head guy of Formula 1 a Nazi or some poo poo?

Head guy of the FIA which governs motorsport in general. His father was a Nazi (Oswald Moseley). He just liked to have Nazi themed sex parties (Max Moseley).

El_Elegante
Jul 3, 2004

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Biscuit Hider
That’s gotta be Oedipal, right?

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Sagebrush posted:

It's fair to assume that the high-level people in any given organization are minimally sociopaths and probably Nazis and rapists too
Studies like https://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/article/losing_touch indicate that having power slowly erodes your mirror reflex, making it harder to see things from other people's point of view, which is a major component in empathy. Power literally corrupts. Arguably everyone in a position of authority should get the poo poo kicked out of them regularly for medical reasons.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Theophany posted:

Head guy of the FIA which governs motorsport in general. His father was a Nazi (Oswald Moseley). He just liked to have Nazi themed sex parties (Max Moseley).

I mean, "gently caress nazis" and all, but this feels like following the letter of the law and not the spirit.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I was raped by my dad as a child. I've spent years in denial about it, refusing to accept that it happened, even though it definitely did. It destroyed any semblance of a childhood I had. In addition to that, he was violently abusive throughout my childhood and teenage years, he had a horrible temper and I was constantly afraid of pissing him off. My parents divorced when I was 8 and I lived with my mom until she got sick of dealing with my behaviour and sent me to live with him at age 13 until I was 18.

I cut off contact with him at the start of this year (I'm in my 20s now).

He contacted me recently on my birthday, and it brought back all these awful memories. I despise him and everything he did to me, and I just want him to leave me alone.

I'm seeing a therapist who specializes in this kind of thing, but I haven't worked up the courage to tell her what he did to me yet. I've never told anyone.

Well, first off, I'm profoundly sorry you had to go through that, and it's good you're seeing someone

but you know what I'm gonna tell you, right? I know working up the steam to flat-out say something like this is difficult, but your therapist is a specialist in these issues and can help you, but you have to provide the information first. I think you should make this your goal for the immediate future. You've already made some progress just by writing this confession!

quote:

I have to get this off my chest. You know how Area 51 is back in the news, and people want to raid it?

I worked there for 20 years doing computer touching, which mainly involved resetting people's passwords when they were too dumb to remember the special characters they tacked onto their pets' names.

Anyways - Area 51 isn't what you think. It's worse.

Much worse.

Well gotta run but I would be ready for poo poo to go down in the event that anybody or anything makes it out of there alive.

You're continuously shifting your rhetorical focus a little in this one imho

(:umberto:)

HerStuddMuffin
Aug 10, 2014

YOSPOS
That second confession is so lazy. What, you’re not even going to make some poo poo up? We have to fill in the blanks ourselves? Laaaazy

Ghostnuke
Sep 21, 2005

Throw this in a pot, add some broth, a potato? Baby you got a stew going!


I mean, it's pretty much assumed that confessor was clappin' alien cheeks right?

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
Buddy, they won’t even let me gently caress the aliens.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
I personally look forward to the fall out from all these people that are going to "storm" area 51.

Sure, like a million people signed up to do it or whatever, but when the time comes, 50 people will show up, and five will actually try. I predict a grand total of three shots fired taking out four of those five, and the fifth one will run like hell in the other direction.

Odd
Dec 30, 2006

I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

wesleywillis posted:

I personally look forward to the fall out from all these people that are going to "storm" area 51.

Sure, like a million people signed up to do it or whatever, but when the time comes, 50 people will show up, and five will actually try. I predict a grand total of three shots fired taking out four of those five, and the fifth one will run like hell in the other direction.

i'm pretty sure the land mines will get em

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
Has anyone tried dressing up in camo and renting a white truck to see if they can just drive on in?

I don't think that the contractors are as murder happy as everyone says, but I'm also not gonna go out there and step over the line while making cheeky comments to my YouTube followers to find out.

Also, a fair amount of people go missing out in that part of the desert. I wonder if they're being kidnapped for alien sex slaves...

TheBizzness
Oct 5, 2004

Reign on me.
Anytime you want to invade a highly secured military facility you should definitely plan it out for months publicly.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Bust Rodd posted:

Buddy, they won’t even let me gently caress the aliens.

I just want a thorough probing.

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Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017

TheBizzness posted:

Anytime you want to invade a highly secured military facility you should definitely plan it out for months publicly.

Like and subscribe to our plan on getting shot in the desert. Links below for insta and patreon.

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