Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Marriage counseling with my anime wife

# ? Jul 20, 2019 14:20

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:53

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

perhaps one day rl stine will return to teach us to say cheese... and live.

# ? Jul 20, 2019 17:59

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

Jolo posted:

Did you see that Last Week Tonight story? Hachi machi.

To contribute:

There's the line in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer about the reindeer playing reindeer games and people will shout "like Monopoly." First of all, the reindeer are so large that it'd be nearly impossible for them to play on a traditionally sized Monopoly board. I can't picture any way that they could comfortably play without the board being several magnitudes larger. Second, The song makes a point that the other reindeer will not let Rudolph play with them. Monopoly is a game for 2-6 players. There are 9 reindeer total including Rudolph. Rudolph is one of at least three reindeer that are getting getting left out. My guess is that some of the stupider reindeer like Dancer and Blitzen are also left out. Third, the reindeer lack thumbs which would make rolling the dice and move the pieces around the board incredibly difficult. Fourth, and this is just speculation from me personally, I don't think that the reindeer play using the common "house rule" where you put money under Free Parking that goes to whoever lands there and it frustrates me because I want to explain that it makes the game more enjoyable but I don't speak reindeer well enough to convey this information.

the reindeer should play twister

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# ? Jul 20, 2019 18:54

Finger Prince

Jolo posted:

Did you see that Last Week Tonight story? Hachi machi.

To contribute:

There's the line in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer about the reindeer playing reindeer games and people will shout "like Monopoly." First of all, the reindeer are so large that it'd be nearly impossible for them to play on a traditionally sized Monopoly board. I can't picture any way that they could comfortably play without the board being several magnitudes larger. Second, The song makes a point that the other reindeer will not let Rudolph play with them. Monopoly is a game for 2-6 players. There are 9 reindeer total including Rudolph. Rudolph is one of at least three reindeer that are getting getting left out. My guess is that some of the stupider reindeer like Dancer and Blitzen are also left out. Third, the reindeer lack thumbs which would make rolling the dice and move the pieces around the board incredibly difficult. Fourth, and this is just speculation from me personally, I don't think that the reindeer play using the common "house rule" where you put money under Free Parking that goes to whoever lands there and it frustrates me because I want to explain that it makes the game more enjoyable but I don't speak reindeer well enough to convey this information.

The whole thing is ridiculous nonsense tbh. It says right there in the lyrics: "join in any Reindeer games". Like monopoly?! Monopoly is a human game, precious children, so no, not like loving monopoly. Like Nintendo! Bzzt wrong again shitstains! Reindeer games would be like "forage under the snow for the nutritious plant" or "guard the herd's flank against wolves". By excluding Rudolph from herd activities, the other reindeer are basically condemning Rudolph to death by starvation or predation. It might sound harsh, but that's nature.

# ? Jul 21, 2019 01:39

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

meats by dre

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 21, 2019 06:11

Harold Fjord

mailorder bees! posted:

meats by dre

# ? Jul 21, 2019 16:12

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

BYOBuilders engineering the best solutions available on your lovely budget.

Problem: My grandparents live near a local trash mountain and their property is grandfathered into allowing them to live there. If they sell the property it has to be sold under commercial regulations now.

Solution: Bring in a giant can of lilac scented spray on a flatbed trailer, then use the arm of a digger to depress the man-sized spray tab at the top.

# ? Jul 22, 2019 16:12

Twenty Four

Finger Prince posted:

The whole thing is ridiculous nonsense tbh. It says right there in the lyrics: "join in any Reindeer games". Like monopoly?! Monopoly is a human game, precious children, so no, not like loving monopoly. Like Nintendo! Bzzt wrong again shitstains! Reindeer games would be like "forage under the snow for the nutritious plant" or "guard the herd's flank against wolves". By excluding Rudolph from herd activities, the other reindeer are basically condemning Rudolph to death by starvation or predation. It might sound harsh, but that's nature.

lol I like this

# ? Jul 23, 2019 21:39

Fanaticism

microdosing lsd proven remedy against online trolling

# ? Jul 24, 2019 19:04

vanisher

Microdosing TV

just watch 5 minutes of a show

# ? Jul 24, 2019 21:06

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

frustrated historical anthropologist poring through dusty old tomes trying to find the origins of shark week

# ? Jul 24, 2019 22:38

The Klowner: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Microdosing cuddle sessions with my dog. Just one quite snug will get me through the next half hour! (I tell myself unconvincingly)

# ? Jul 24, 2019 22:47

Captain Billy Pissboy: by Nyc_Tattoo

i microdose lds by reading a paragraph from the book of mormon every morning

# ? Jul 24, 2019 23:22

Finger Prince

Microdosing work. Like 5 minutes productive work per hour of loving the dog.

# ? Jul 25, 2019 00:37

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Finger Prince posted:

Microdosing work. Like 5 minutes productive work per hour of loving the dog.

"It's like the pomodoro method, but 5 times faster," I explain to HR sweating profusely despite the air conditioning.

# ? Jul 25, 2019 02:20

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

Finger Prince posted:

Microdosing work. Like 5 minutes productive work per hour of loving the dog.

uhh why is that your job

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# ? Jul 25, 2019 02:44

super sweet best pal

Cubone posted:

perhaps one day rl stine will return to teach us to say cheese... and live.

Say Cheese and Die, a story about a lactose intolerant king who outlaws discussion of cheese out of jealousy. In the end, both the people and the king manage to become more tolerant of each others' viewpoints.

# ? Jul 25, 2019 08:22

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

"Beatboxing to the Oldies" with Biz Markie

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Jul 25, 2019 15:05

FactsAreUseless

The Little Prince: Machiavelli for the Playground [Grade 4 Edition]

# ? Jul 26, 2019 02:45

mountaincat: The first part is about sand-
wiches. The second part is
about morality.

Tyler from Dude Perfect witnesses a murder. He points to the scene with amazement. "Ooooooooh-hohoho!"

# ? Jul 26, 2019 02:51

Captain Billy Pissboy: by Nyc_Tattoo

im stuck on the other side of the paywall and cant escape from the wall street journal

# ? Jul 26, 2019 17:21

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Captain Billy Pissboy posted:

im stuck on the other side of the paywall and cant escape from the wall street journal

Let me try something:

**tells Adaware to allow this site so you can come back to this side of the paywall via a pop-up**

If that doesn't work maybe you could try coming back here via incognito mode in Google Chrome

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Jul 26, 2019 17:31

Captain Billy Pissboy: by Nyc_Tattoo

oh god help i got stuck on thomas friedmans mobius strip treadmill of mixed metaphors

# ? Jul 26, 2019 17:37

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

Captain Billy Pissboy posted:

oh god help i got stuck on thomas friedmans mobius strip treadmill of mixed metaphors

this is scarier than Poltergeist

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# ? Jul 26, 2019 17:40

super sweet best pal

Captain Billy Pissboy posted:

im stuck on the other side of the paywall and cant escape from the wall street journal

I'm not locked in here with the articles, they're locked in here with me!

# ? Jul 27, 2019 12:57

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

Captain Billy Pissboy posted:

oh god help i got stuck on thomas friedmans mobius strip treadmill of mixed metaphors

i got trapped in a malcolm gladwell book and i have to practice escaping for 10,000 hours before i can break free

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# ? Jul 27, 2019 19:35

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

watching Gumby has prepared me for this challenge

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# ? Jul 27, 2019 19:40

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

(to the tune of destiny's child "survivor")

I'm a survivor
I'm a survivor
I'm a survivor
I'm a survivor

I'm a survivor
I'm a survivor
I'm a survivor
I'm a survivor

# ? Jul 27, 2019 21:30

deep dish peat moss

Feeling awkward because you said you were going to order a pizza, and your friend said "Make it a Hot Hawaiian" , and you said "I don't need a Hot Hawaiian I already have a copy of Moana on DVD" before you realized what you were saying

# ? Jul 28, 2019 00:57

The Klowner: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Opening up my BYOBDex to see which posters I haven't caught yet

# ? Jul 28, 2019 08:18

vanisher

Eating toast for the sheer thrill of it

# ? Jul 28, 2019 16:22

Twenty Four

vanisher posted:

Eating toast for the sheer thrill of it

calm the heck down!

# ? Jul 28, 2019 18:32

vanisher

You into sourdough?

"I dabble"

# ? Jul 28, 2019 19:28

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

jacques tati ambition, dogma 95 budget

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# ? Jul 29, 2019 01:58

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

safari guide who cannot remember any animal names.
*pointing at lions*
"look out your left in the shade of those trees and you'll see a whole flock of... those guys"

# ? Jul 29, 2019 07:23

Twenty Four

canyoneer posted:

safari guide who cannot remember any animal names.
*pointing at lions*
"look out your left in the shade of those trees and you'll see a whole flock of... those guys"

*waves hands* birds, trees, animals, whatever. figure it out, im trying to drive a jeep here

# ? Jul 29, 2019 07:40

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

[giraffes] these are

horses

# ? Jul 29, 2019 08:36

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Careful near the river, everyone. More people die each year to water pig attacks than to snappy big snakes.

# ? Jul 29, 2019 13:46

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

Cubone posted:

[giraffes] these are

horses

*Pointing at giraffes*

Some of these uhh four-legged ostriches can get really tall.

# ? Jul 29, 2019 15:53

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:53

Farecoal: There he go

canyoneer posted:

safari guide who cannot remember any animal names.
*pointing at lions*
"look out your left in the shade of those trees and you'll see a whole flock of... those guys"

"Woah, holy poo poo those guys look dangerous"

# ? Jul 29, 2019 16:06

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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