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Chili posted:Our 15 month old is likely ready for some very basic potty introduction. While we don't plan on getting the actual practice down I do want to procure a potty for her now so she can get used to seeing it and such. Done a bit of digging on the subject but I'm not seeing any standout picks. Have any of you had a particularly good experience with one? My daughter was a little bit older and her first potty was the summer infant one that looked like a real toilet. We kept it in the bathroom and when she would follow me in there, she'd copy me and sit on her toilet.
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Jul 27, 2019 11:05
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1up posted:My daughter was a little bit older and her first potty was the summer infant one that looked like a real toilet. We kept it in the bathroom and when she would follow me in there, she'd copy me and sit on her toilet. Yeah that's the one we were thinking of and that's pretty much how we're expecting things to go. As for that book recommendation, thank you! It does seem a touch on the long side and we're probably more in the market for like a quick set of guidelines or something. So far, our baby has been really easy with benchmark type stuff.
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Jul 27, 2019 13:30
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Beachcomber posted:Has anyone gotten their child through surrogacy? I'm wondering if you've noticed any lingering affects. My wife has MS and her sister volunteered. We had our child via surrogacy. What do you mean by lingering effects? For the surrogate or for the baby?
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Jul 27, 2019 16:29
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Oh Crap! Potty Training is all we used to get our daughter to be potty trained. It worked really well. Seconding Oh Crap, it worked great for us too.
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Jul 27, 2019 17:06
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We have a vtech radio monitor (no wifi) that honestly kind of sucks because of the short range (won't go across house to an adjacent bedroom but will somehow go further to our bedroom with no hitches). It was working this morning, I turned it off when my son woke up and I brought him out to the living room so the battery wouldn't deplete. Now it won't turn on, the charging light turns on when I plug it in but the battery can't be depleted, even when it is it at least turns on and tells me it's depleted before turning back off. I've hit the screen on/off button too, mute isn't on. No idea wtf just happened but I feel like it's just poo poo the bed and I didn't find out until of course my wife goes out of town and I'm supposed to go to my parent's house for my son to meet some family and I can't order one to have it here same day. Can anyone recommend a good monitor (preferably not vtech)? FWIW I do not have internet at home and won't be able to get it in the foreseeable future, but are there some wifi monitor options paired with a phone app that will work on an ad-hoc wifi network over my router (for Philips Hue) that anyone thinks are pretty good? If I can find one today I am going to buy buy baby or babies r us because it's essential I be able to at least hear my son over a monitor. ne: I don't believe it's the camera before anyone asks, because if the camera was off or not linked, the monitor would at least still turn on and tell me there was no link to the camera. It's the monitor that won't turn on all of a sudden. e: I got it to work by removing the battery and reinstalling it, but c'mon. This thing is a piece of poo poo and this exact model has terrible reviews on Amazon. life is killing me fucked around with this message at 17:36 on Jul 27, 2019 |
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Jul 27, 2019 17:10
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I really like my eufy baby monitor. It’s the top rated on wire cutter.
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Jul 27, 2019 17:45
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We have this one: Video Baby Monitor with Digital Camera, ANMEATE Digital 2.4Ghz Wireless Video Monitor with Temperature Monitor, 960ft Transmission Range, 2-Way Talk, Night Vision, High Capacity Battery (sm24) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FSLSL1K/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ARopDb04H8JBA No wifi, it has a monitor and is relatively cheap. 
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Jul 28, 2019 01:25
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nwin posted:I really like my eufy baby monitor. It’s the top rated on wire cutter. I love mine too. We used a cheap one with our first kid and the eufy one with the second kid. The quality jump is substantial and worth it.
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Jul 28, 2019 03:00
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BonoMan posted:I love mine too. We used a cheap one with our first kid and the eufy one with the second kid. The quality jump is substantial and worth it. It really is-I bought the one linked above at first and it poo poo the bed on me within a few months. The Eufy’s screen quality is so amazing.
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Jul 28, 2019 03:08
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I'm personally a fan of an audio only monitor + well configured stationary normal security camera on your home network (ergo doesn't apply here)... But wow that eufy camera is tempting me to change over.
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Jul 28, 2019 05:40
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We have had no problems whatsoever with our Infant Optics DXR-5+. Solid, reliable, works in the whole house.
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Jul 28, 2019 14:52
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Cocks Cable posted:We had our child via surrogacy. What do you mean by lingering effects? For the surrogate or for the baby? For the baby. It's definitely what we're doing, but I'm a little afraid that being taken from the woman who it lived inside might do some kind of subtle lingering emotional damage.
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Jul 28, 2019 15:20
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The Infant Optics DXR is really good, and is frequently available as an open box deal on Amazon if you want to save like $70. It works throughout the house and doesn’t rely on wifi.
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Jul 28, 2019 17:04
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Beachcomber posted:For the baby. It's definitely what we're doing, but I'm a little afraid that being taken from the woman who it lived inside might do some kind of subtle lingering emotional damage. It won't. I can't imagine what biological or psychological mechanism could cause something like that. I R SMART LIKE ROCK posted:On a related but different topic: we've been having troubles with daytime naps. Before he would sleep ~1-2 hours when he went down for a nap. Now he's only sleeping 15-30 minutes. He's obviously getting tired throughout the day and starts to become crankier as it progresses until 6-7pm; where he just passes out for most of the night. We're using a sound machine and blackout curtains but so far no luck. TBH what you are describing sounds like exactly what you should expect from a baby of that age. Ours would likewise pass out in a pretty cranky state in the evening. As long as he sleeps through the night, you're in luck. Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Jul 28, 2019 |
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Jul 28, 2019 20:11
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:It won't. I can't imagine what biological or psychological mechanism could cause something like that. Yeah we've got just the 1 feeding around 1-2am and he sleeps until 5-6am. So in that regard we're doing great. Thanks for the reassurance, it helps to have a group to talk to
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Jul 28, 2019 20:56
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Beachcomber posted:For the baby. It's definitely what we're doing, but I'm a little afraid that being taken from the woman who it lived inside might do some kind of subtle lingering emotional damage. Rest assured, your baby will be fine. Surro-babies turn out perfectly healthy and normal. My daughter is 9.5 mo and is happy, vibrant, and thriving. She has bonded quite well with us. She's just now entering that new stranger-fear phase and we're the only ones who can calm her down and soothe her crying and give her that comforting feeling of safety and security. Newborns don't remember poo poo really. It's the mental health of the surrogate during the pregnancy and post-birth is where I would be most concerned about here. You mentioned your sister-in-law will be the surrogate and that's where it could get even more tricky to be honest. Post-birth, you will definitely need distance and separation from your sister-in-law to establish your routine, bond with the baby, and figure things out on your own as a family. This may prove difficult due to the familial relationship and (assuming here) close proximity. I hope your sister-in-law has her own family to occupy her and definitely look into counseling support for her. And under no circumstances should your sister-in-law breastfeed the baby. Also if it really worries you, in utero, you can play recordings of your voice to the baby (I remain skeptical of it benefits but my husband really wanted it). We recorded a few books and songs and and our surrogate was happy to play them every day using one of those preggo-belly micrphone things.
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Jul 28, 2019 21:42
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BadSamaritan posted:The Infant Optics DXR is really good, and is frequently available as an open box deal on Amazon if you want to save like $70. It works throughout the house and doesn’t rely on wifi. I think I ended up with some burnt out infrared bulbs after mine fell to the ground one time too many, but they were good about replacing the camera within the warranty period.
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Jul 28, 2019 22:00
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We have the Arlo baby cam and it’s been great, I’ve been using HomeKit a ton since the babes arrived.
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Jul 28, 2019 22:06
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Cocks Cable posted:Rest assured, your baby will be fine. Surro-babies turn out perfectly healthy and normal. My daughter is 9.5 mo and is happy, vibrant, and thriving. She has bonded quite well with us. She's just now entering that new stranger-fear phase and we're the only ones who can calm her down and soothe her crying and give her that comforting feeling of safety and security. She's definitely going to nurse the baby for 3 days (this is what she wants), and hopefully pump for us after. We live on opposite coasts, but we're looking to stay in the area for a month or so, to get as much milk as is feasible. After that we'll be going back to CA, but we're going to have SiL sleep with a blanket so that the switch is hopefully not as harsh. We will be constantly in touch with the baby from the very beginning. SiL has a 4 year old and a 2 year old. The 4 year old was 90% formula from day one for a week, and then 100% formula and he's fine, so we're not too worried about the whole breast milk thing, but on the other hand I was 100% formula and look how I turned out.
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Jul 28, 2019 22:14
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I'd strongly advise against the breastfeeding. Our agency was very adamant against it for many reasons, the least of not which, legal. It can complicate post-birth adoption if the surrogate mother is physically breastfeeding the baby. A judge could look at that as evidence to not sever parental rights for your SiL. Surrogacy law is very complicated and varies greatly by state. Make sure the state in which you have the birth is even friendly to surrogacy. Very few states are friendly to surrogacy and most are outright hostile. And definitely use an experienced lawyer in the state in which the birth takes place. Pumping is fine and good. You can definitely bottle feed a newborn fresh out of the womb. Hospitals have donor breast milk which you can use until your SiL starts pumping.
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Jul 28, 2019 23:03
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It can also be difficult to transition a baby from boob to bottle, much in the same way that it's difficult to get a baby to breastfeed once they're started on bottles. Granted that's different from baby to baby, but at this point why even run the risk? One month olds are big dummies who are happy to just exist, so I don't imagine it'll be hard to transition one to a new living space. I don't have experience in surrogacy, but I can say that at one month, by baby didn't care where he was or who was holding him, as long as his belly was full and he had a place sleep he was happy.
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Jul 29, 2019 14:28
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Question for the gestational parents, in particular ones who breastfeed: I've been breastfeeding for 6 months and have hit a hideous stage where my hair/scalp is just oily AF. I can wash it in the morning and it'll be greasy by the end of the day. Dry shampoo only helps a little bit. I've heard this is common to people who breastfeed so does anyone have any tips? Hair thinning/texture change/color change/breakage is a whole other issue. Going to get my 'mom haircut' tomorrow -__-
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Jul 30, 2019 00:09
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Hey thread, We have a 7.5 month old who was sleeping more or less through the night in her bassinet / cot from 2.5-3 months old. We still have her cot in our room. This last week she’s just kind of relapsed and won’t sleep in her cot at all. If you put her in the cot to lie down she will just cry and wail. We’ve tried picking her up to comfort, then putting back- or sleeping and then putting her in- or letting her cry- none seem to work. She either wakes up or cries until we give in (we let her go 15 minutes - we were advised no longer than that. Even that felt like an eternity) But the minute you pick her up she’s a smiling baby girl and if you put her in bed with us she’s out like a light within minutes. It’s infuriating! We are just going mental like it’s either no sleep or she sleeps with us at the moment which we know is wrong. Any suggestions 
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Jul 30, 2019 10:47
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teacup posted:Hey thread, If it’s just the last week, it’s probably just a phase that’s not going to last forever. If you’ve got a set routine and do specific things to settle her, do your usual with a plan B in mind. If plan B is cosleeping, it’s no big deal, just try again next time. You can transfer later once she’s asleep if that works. Failing that, do you have the option to have her sleep in her own room? Our bub sleeps better on her own than in our room.
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Jul 30, 2019 11:47
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teacup posted:Hey thread, Since she's been sleeping through the night for so long it might be worth it to get a top to tail check at the pediatrician's just to rule out any trouble -- for example, the first signs of ear infections can be sleep disturbances.
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Jul 30, 2019 12:25
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Cocks Cable posted:I'd strongly advise against the breastfeeding. Our agency was very adamant against it for many reasons, the least of not which, legal. It can complicate post-birth adoption if the surrogate mother is physically breastfeeding the baby. A judge could look at that as evidence to not sever parental rights for your SiL. Surrogacy law is very complicated and varies greatly by state. Make sure the state in which you have the birth is even friendly to surrogacy. Very few states are friendly to surrogacy and most are outright hostile. And definitely use an experienced lawyer in the state in which the birth takes place. NY state is hostile to surrogacy, but that's where sister lives. We've got a pair of lawyers who specialize in this kind of thing. Regarding the switch over, I think I just read a few too many articles about how the baby bonds with the birth mother while in the womb. This whole process is kind of terrifying tbh.
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Jul 30, 2019 21:15
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Twins only woke me up once to eat between 12:00 and 7am last night Here’s hoping it lasts 🤞
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Jul 31, 2019 04:45
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With the advice I got in this thread, and research elsewhere on the internet, I've found products and a routine that is working well for my son's hair, though there's still some minor troubleshooting to be done. I help him style in the morning, and apply the products, because his fine motor skills are not quite up to snuff for working in a mirror. Since I got him to start wearing a satin sleep cap at night and started the daily routine for his hair, it has much more body and shine. His curls are also much more defined. He also had a weirdly dry, crunchy patch, and the routine has that almost as soft and bouncy as the rest of his hair, though there's still a bit of recovery to go. Now I just need to get him in with a stylist who knows their way around curly hair, for a trim, instead of "Whoever is at Great Clips that day".
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Jul 31, 2019 11:36
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bomb posted:Twins only woke me up once to eat between 12:00 and 7am last night hahahahahahahaha haha ha ehhhh 
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Jul 31, 2019 11:53
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Feeling like an utter failure as a mother. Daughter started getting a flat spot at about 3 months old. She had some neck tightness. Pediatrician had us doing stretches. And repositioning her head when she turned that way. 6 month appointment her head was still flat. But she started tummy sleeping so we decided to see if it got better. She went for a scan after her 9 month appointment and now needs the band. I wish I had a time machine to go back and fix this before now. I feel awful. I feel so much crushing guilt. I know it’s fixable. Everyone keeps telling me it’s not my fault. But all I can think about is her first birthday is coming up and I don’t want to have it and have people asking questions (we are looking at a 4 month treatment). My brain is being so mean about this. I told my husband when she gets it I don’t want any pictures taken of her in it. I don’t want to remember this. I don’t want her to know either. Am I being crazy? Should I go back to the NP and talk to her (I do have PPD and she changed my meds 2 months ago and I had been feeling great)? I feel like I’m being irrational but I don’t know. I feel directly responsible for this. Like I could have done more to prevent it and I let her down. Ugh this sucks. At least my coworkers are really supportive. I completely broke down on Monday and I got hugs and it’s ok talks and some really funny stories about dropping babies and all sorts of bad stuff. I do feel better today. Maybe just ride out the rest of the week and maybe I’ll feel better ...?
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Jul 31, 2019 13:48
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Flat spots happen sometimes, even when you're doing what you should. Try not to beat yourself too badly, and yeah, I'd talk to someone. That level of anxiety might signal trouble. As for pictures? It's not that big a thing. I spent most of my first year in a Pavlik harness, due to congenital hip dysplasia. There was no missing it in pictures. But I'd rather have pictures of me at that age in the harness, over none at all.
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Jul 31, 2019 14:00
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You've done nothing wrong at all and I think you know this on a rational level but perhaps the intensity of parental feeling, maybe exacerbated by the PPD, is giving you these guilty thoughts. This issue is pretty common - it happened to both of our friends' children, and they had to wear corrective helmets, which are I presume more noticable than the bands. I don't think it prevented them from taking pictures and while it's your choice you may regret not having done it down the line, especially for such a big milestone event as a 1st birthday. She's still your daughter and those memories will still be special, regardless of whether she was visibly being treated for a minor medical condition. In the future you will likely look back at the photos and smile. FYI the treatments for this issue are normally very effective; our friends' kids had completely non-flat heads pretty much straight after removing the helmets. Don't fret - parenthood is full of challenges and setbacks and this will not affect her life one bit in the long run.
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Jul 31, 2019 15:04
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Sarah posted:Am I being crazy? Should I go back to the NP and talk to her (I do have PPD and she changed my meds 2 months ago and I had been feeling great)? I feel like I’m being irrational but I don’t know. I feel directly responsible for this. Like I could have done more to prevent it and I let her down. You are not a failure! These things just happen sometimes. Please don't not take pictures of your kiddo for 4 months because I imagine you'd be kicking yourself in the future for not documenting a huge chunk of her first year. Wait it out for a week or so and if you are still beating yourself up like this, definitely don't hesitate to go talk to your NP. You did nothing wrong and she's going to be just fine. https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/1069726684809580545?s=19 Please click and scroll into the replies on this tweet to see all the adorable babies rounding out their skulls. Too cute.
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Jul 31, 2019 15:22
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The baby helmet is so loving adorable. You get customization options to make it super cute, and as a side effect, you don't have to worry about your baby cracking their head open when they're first learning to walk. You know it's not your fault. Everyone's telling you it's not your fault. I'm telling you it's not your fault. I'm also saying that the head band is super funny and once you get used to it you won't care very much. After a while you'll even have some good laughs over it. I'm already laughing at the idea of you embarrassing your teenage daughter in front of her first boyfriend by showing pictures of her first birthday with a helmet on and gushing over how cute it was. If that doesn't do it for you, then remember that at the end of the day this is just another stage in your baby's life. Just like your baby went through a stage of being an infant who just hung out all day, to watching the first time they smiled and laugh, learning to grab things, sit up on their own, someday she'll stop making GBS threads her pants, you'll look back on this as just another stage in her story and development as a child. That story is full of bumps (and flats  ) in the road. If this is the worst that can happen, I'd say that's a success for you as a parent. I promise that if you don't get pictures with that helmet, you're going to regret it years in the future because you essentially erased part of your child's story.Just as a general for everyone, especially new parents, every baby has something. My baby has acid reflux and a milk allergy, I had jaundice, the same milk allergy, and a hernia. My brother had some pretty bad poo poo that I won't talk about. One of the kids my mom used to babysit had bowed legs. Doctors had to break her legs to re-set them in the right spot, and she had both legs in a cast for months. Her sister had scoliosis. One kid had a helmet and I really have to say, the helmet was not a big deal at all. It was also really cute and that kid loved throwing his head around on things with his new found superpower of head protection. There's something wrong at some point with every single baby and it's not your fault as a parent when that something comes up. Renegret fucked around with this message at 15:32 on Jul 31, 2019 |
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Jul 31, 2019 15:25
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Beachcomber posted:NY state is hostile to surrogacy, but that's where sister lives. We've got a pair of lawyers who specialize in this kind of thing. It can be an intimidating and scary process, but just know that it's been done successfully many many times over. I'm confident it will work out for you and your baby!
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Jul 31, 2019 17:07
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Thanks to whompstever suggested Duct Tape Parenting, I found a surprise copy in my library's giveaway pile and I'm 73 pages in so far and feeling, for the first time, like maaaaaaaaayyyybe things might not be a COMPLETE fuckup. If you don't know, the theory here is not to focus on negative behaviors because children view attention as value neutral, so eg responding to whining or tantrums just makes them stronger. My question is, in pre-vocal children, how do I differentiate "Actually Needs Tending" cries versus "manipulative infant sociopathy" cries? edit- at the point i'm at in the book, it's apparent that these techniques should be used as early as possible to avoid setting bad precedent. I assume it'll be explained later on but I'm having trouble focusing because that question keeps distracting me.
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Jul 31, 2019 17:29
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:If you don't know, the theory here is not to focus on negative behaviors because children view attention as value neutral, so eg responding to whining or tantrums just makes them stronger. My question is, in pre-vocal children, how do I differentiate "Actually Needs Tending" cries versus "manipulative infant sociopathy" cries? Like they literally can't be manipulative until a year old or something like that. Even after that it's a stretch. They're mostly pretty obvious. And they do cry a fair bit. Tantrums and whatnot are manipulative sure, but most of it is just that kids don't have the emotional calluses we do. Everything hits them harder.
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Jul 31, 2019 17:40
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Ben Nevis posted:Like they literally can't be manipulative until a year old or something like that. Even after that it's a stretch. They're mostly pretty obvious. And they do cry a fair bit. Tantrums and whatnot are manipulative sure, but most of it is just that kids don't have the emotional calluses we do. Everything hits them harder. Yup. At first it's just a matter of meeting their needs, and the only change is that they have more needs as time goes on (The boredom cry was a weird one to get used to). Even once they're a toddler and they get old enough to throw tantrums, the vast majority of tantrums are due to communication problems, usually because they don't have the words needed to express themselves.
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Jul 31, 2019 18:05
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I'm having trouble seeing the line between indulging every whim and going full Stonewall when my will is questioned and it seems like just being consistent is more important than which side is chosen. edit- see i should of been born a king. give me some evil vizeer who can train my sproggit in the art of statecraft and loving birds on horseback or what the poo poo ever aristos do.
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Jul 31, 2019 18:37
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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/expectations-for-young-kids_b_12656868 Read this for starters. Peaceful or respectful parenting is a good search term. It can be summed up as how to identify and enforce important boundaries and rules with your children while not being a horrible jackass to them. You can be a respectful parent and still have rules, structure, and discipline and consequences (which does not mean spanking plz don't hit your kids).
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Jul 31, 2019 18:56
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