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StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

Wolfsheim posted:

Was the Chameleon the only Colorado ET like, ever? I remember it being a chore because it HAD to be an accident kill.

We have a brand new phone that may help!

MeatwadIsGod posted:

Dang are they just not doing ETs on the new maps anymore or what?

Apparently not. I'm hoping they'll come back once they've released the second map and finished off the DLC.

e: lmao

quote:

Is it a bug? Is it a feature? No! It’s an unlock! The Homing Briefcase is back!

This physics-bending briefcase is designed to induce fear and terror in whoever gets in its way. With a throwing speed tweaked for maximum style, there is no end to the possibilities this item offers. Of course, it sports the signature MK II look – the ultimate mark of superb craftmanship! Could be used to hide illegal items but that is clearly beside the point.

StrixNebulosa fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Jul 30, 2019

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elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up
the MK II sticker on it is really funny

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Got almost 7 minutes of sniping out of this.update!

Party Boat
Nov 1, 2007

where did that other dog come from

who is he


UnknownMercenary posted:

I spawned in the C4 inside the briefcase, took the C4 out and then concealed it again inside the briefcase and this let me keep the detonator.

I think this is an intended mechanic. I decided to use it to do the safe room explosion challenge in Paris. Marched into the safe room with my explosive-containing briefcase in hand, and found a conveniently empty briefcase sitting next to the desk.

Zedd
Jul 6, 2009

I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?



The NoClip documentary heavily implied that they are making new ET's once the DLC map is done.

Briefcase Mk2 is amazing and I love them embracing the meme.

Elendil004
Mar 22, 2003

The prognosis
is not good.


I'm watching the Giant Bomb Hitsmis videos and man (like all giant bomb quick looks) I wish they were just a LITTLE less poo poo at video games.

Kanfy
Jan 9, 2012

Just gotta keep walking down that road.

Elendil004 posted:

I'm watching the Giant Bomb Hitsmis videos and man (like all giant bomb quick looks) I wish they were just a LITTLE less poo poo at video games.

Hitsmas wouldn't have been half as great if they'd played competently.

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010

27 minutes into the NoClip doc it looks like they're putting stats on the location menu. And at the end its confirmed IO is working on a new IP and is at least planning a Hitman 3.

e: also according to reddit they're not doing a proper, non sniper prison level yet because of engine limitations

Mantis42 fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Jul 30, 2019

Elendil004
Mar 22, 2003

The prognosis
is not good.


Kanfy posted:

Hitsmas wouldn't have been half as great if they'd played competently.

I think them being bad at hitman is fine but some of them are just straight bad at video games. "Look up" guy crouches and jumps thought a window... "Shoot that guy" guy fumbles with menu and dies while teabagging.

Kanfy
Jan 9, 2012

Just gotta keep walking down that road.

Elendil004 posted:

I think them being bad at hitman is fine but some of them are just straight bad at video games. "Look up" guy crouches and jumps thought a window... "Shoot that guy" guy fumbles with menu and dies while teabagging.

Exactly!

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.
I need to watch it again in closer detail, and I hate to say it, but....a fair amount of the Noclip documentary material, at least the stuff revolving around the period of Absolution, is a total PR snow job.

Dapper_Swindler posted:

thanks vox. i kinda like that absolution as stupid as it is is still canon(hell all of the games still are) and that the weird ludicruos events can basically be written off as "office politics" but still mostly a regular week. i love the hitman universe. its a weird mix of hosed up b movie schlock and weird daily activity and airport fiction political escapades.

HITMAN 2016 actually appears to be in semi-soft-reboot territory by now, as it's increasingly impossible to reconcile it with earlier entries. Please don't make me get into why.

Wolfsheim
Dec 23, 2003

"Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Discendo Vox posted:

Please don't make me get into why.

Proceed :colbert:

Pilchenstein
May 17, 2012

So your plan is for half of us to die?

Hot Rope Guy
So it looks as though the rifle unlock in Siberia is only available for completing all 20 mastery levels in single player :suicide:

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010


For one, don't they completely change 47's origin?

sauer kraut
Oct 2, 2004

SelenicMartian posted:

Got almost 7 minutes of sniping out of this.update!

Agreed, sniper maps are not a good use of the developers time. Unless you watch a guide before playing it's the most tedious and awkward to control, trial&error puzzle game.
2 of them and the Bank making up 3/4 of a 40€ season pass is very depressing.

Blasmeister
Jan 15, 2012




2Time TRP Sack Race Champion

The no-shooting all kills challenge was interesting, the silent assassin route i'm not quite sure how to get down to a fully reliable 17 hidden kills, end up getting the first 15 then speed shooting the last 2 and a panel to make the riot happen and end the map before any patrols spoil it. I like how much you can mess stuff up with the riots and fires. Full challenge/achievement completion and SA gotten and I'm _still_ only level 13/20 on my rifle though.You can do better, ioi

freebooter
Jul 7, 2009

I've been away for a month, is that bank map worth shelling $60 out for or nah?

Major Isoor
Mar 23, 2011

freebooter posted:

I've been away for a month, is that bank map worth shelling $60 out for or nah?

Nah, I'd see how the Resort map pans out, before getting the pass. I mean, don't get me wrong - the Bank map is fun and the electric phone (presumably Douglas' phone from the IT Crowd, with the vibrator cranked to 11) is amazing/OP, but it's probably not worth the full asking price unless you get a lot of mileage out of the sniper mode

Nakar
Sep 2, 2002

Ultima Ratio Regum
The Flash Phone is actually potentially useful for the intended original purpose of the phone unlocks, plus it'll be one you don't have to worry about accidentally killing an NPC with, so that seems neat.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


Blasmeister posted:

The no-shooting all kills challenge was interesting, the silent assassin route i'm not quite sure how to get down to a fully reliable 17 hidden kills, end up getting the first 15 then speed shooting the last 2 and a panel to make the riot happen and end the map before any patrols spoil it. I like how much you can mess stuff up with the riots and fires. Full challenge/achievement completion and SA gotten and I'm _still_ only level 13/20 on my rifle though.You can do better, ioi

i'm only missing the "don't shoot anybody" challenge and i think i'm level 8? this is so grindy

Grapplejack
Nov 27, 2007

I vaguely remember the gunrunner being a cool ET but I might be confusing him with someone else.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


Grapplejack posted:

I vaguely remember the gunrunner being a cool ET but I might be confusing him with someone else.

nah he's trash. basement of the consulate building, never moves, no real dialogue to speak of.

FronzelNeekburm
Jun 1, 2001

STOP, MORTTIME

quote:

We’ve addressed an issue where the Silent Assassin rating could be earned with 4 stars because the ‘Never Spotted’ bonus was sometimes not being granted after a SA playthrough.
Well, that's nice. Happened to me while running through the Calvino Cacophony, even.

StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

freebooter posted:

I've been away for a month, is that bank map worth shelling $60 out for or nah?

I'd argue otherwise because while the Bank is a smaller/easier map (more Bangkok sized), it's really detailed and fun to dick around in.

...but then again, that's a lot of money. Treat it as a "do i want to donate money to IO y/n" question instead of a "is the bank worth it y/n" question, as ehhhh.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011




1-08-0024626-95

PC

Weapon smuggling contract. Take the katana from Dexy’s room all the way to the kitchen and then kill the head chef. Choose your cosplay carefully, because the recording crew isn’t allowed to have weapons and the hotel guard isn’t allowed in the recording studio.

FronzelNeekburm
Jun 1, 2001

STOP, MORTTIME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjvrTa6IKW8

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011



neat stuff

Wolfsheim
Dec 23, 2003

"Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."
I thought you guys were exaggerating about the electrocution phone being too good but then I killed that magician in Mumbai with it in seconds getting SASO and a bunch of other challenges done rocketing to mastery 20 without having even done like half of the Mumbai mission stories :stare:

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

Discendo Vox posted:

I need to watch it again in closer detail, and I hate to say it, but....a fair amount of the Noclip documentary material, at least the stuff revolving around the period of Absolution, is a total PR snow job.


HITMAN 2016 actually appears to be in semi-soft-reboot territory by now, as it's increasingly impossible to reconcile it with earlier entries. Please don't make me get into why.

i mean its defianetly a soft reboot, but so was wolfenstein TNO and that still has 2009 and by extention RTCW as canon. obviously a different series but lol.

DLC Inc
Jun 1, 2011

even though Danny came out with that tweet and his arms flailing about "Hitman 3 isn't official guys" I think it's a lock anyway. They're probably in far better financial straits if they can do that plus another IP, and being in league with WB Games who have infinite monies due to Big Daddy Boon doesn't hurt.

Gooses and Geeses
Jan 1, 2005

OH GOD WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN?
I'm so confused. Is the only way to get the New York level the £32.99 expansion pass? This thing: https://store.steampowered.com/app/957690/HITMAN2__Expansion_Pass/?snr=1_16_16__1059&curator_clanid=32937893

Wizard of the Deep
Sep 25, 2005

Another productive workday
Yes. That'll include The Bank, the two new sniper levels (Hantu & Siberia), as well as The Resort, whenever that comes out. Along with a bunch of little stuff, like new suits, weapons, and tools.

IOI swung a little too hard against episodic content with 2, but the content itself is solid.

Give IOI all your money so we get a big shiny Hitm3n soon.

mp5
Jan 1, 2005

Stroke of luck!

https://www.greenmangaming.com/games/hitman-2-gold-edition-pc/

GMG also has the PC gold edition for 35 USD right now

mp5 fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Jul 31, 2019

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008

Fun Shoe

DLC Inc posted:

even though Danny came out with that tweet and his arms flailing about "Hitman 3 isn't official guys" I think it's a lock anyway. They're probably in far better financial straits if they can do that plus another IP, and being in league with WB Games who have infinite monies due to Big Daddy Boon doesn't hurt.

It's definitely one of those things where even with no official confirmation it would be weird for them NOT to do it. The only reason we wouldn't see a third part is if the company is having financial troubles, and they seem to at least be doing okay at the moment.

Pilchenstein
May 17, 2012

So your plan is for half of us to die?

Hot Rope Guy
Me and my daughter have been playing Siberia co-op and once the riot starts, whoever was invited to the game stops getting smooth updates for npc positions and they kind of teleport around making it incredibly unfun for player 2 :(

Anyone else had this issue?

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.

Thankfully, I have some material prepped on this. This will be an updated combo of my Hitman History Effortpost from the ChaosArgate LP thread and a Hitman Retcon post from this thread.

Hitman History Effortpost
Click the title of each entry for a representative sample of the game's storytelling/cinematography, which was generally excellent for its time from Silent Assassin onwards. There's some bottom line plot stuff at the end if you don't want to read the Rich Hitman Lore.

Hitman: Codename 47
47 wakes up, knowing nothing, in a padded cell, in a murky, unreal facility. An unknown voice issuing from an intercom instructs him to sneak out of the strange asylum he is in, kill a guard, take their clothes, and escape.

Sometime later, 47 becomes an agent for the mysterious International Contract Agency, working under novice handler Diana on assignments to gradually weaken and assassinate a set of world-renowned crime lords:
  • Lee Hong, a triad leader known as "the man without a conscience". It takes several missions to weaken Hong's triad enough for him to be a viable target. The first mission of the game, "Kowloon Triads in Gang War", is a sniper assassination that is also the first kill in the Legacy trailer in ChaosArgate's video: note the Hong Kong scenery in the background.
  • Pablo Ochoa, a Columbian drug kingpin who is totally not Tony Montana, you guys. Pablo's missions never reappeared in subsequent remakes and usually go unmentioned, either for IP reasons, because of racist depictions of natives, or because they were incredibly unfun.
  • Frantz Fuchs, a former nazi and brilliant international terrorist for hire. This is the original and iconic Hitman Hotel level. Fuchs is noticeably less defended than the other crime lords.
  • Arkadij Jegorov, a physically massive weapons dealer who is in the process of using biker gangs and a shipping boat to move a nuke. This level includes such impressive stealth gameplay as "hire a prostitute to distract a guard."
All of the crime lords have seemingly superhuman abilities, and act unnaturally fit for their ages. They also drop letters referring to the "Five Fathers", harvesting "fruit", and the French Foreign Legion.

After the four are dead, 47's client sends them after a doctor at an asylum in Romania. The place is disturbingly familiar- and once 47 arrives and corners the target, Romanian SWAT suddenly arrive to begin a raid. 47 discovers a massive facility beneath the asylum filled with medical equipment. The intercom crackles to life and the client reveals himself - Dr. Otto Ort-Meyer, his creator and a cloning super-prodigy. Ort-Meyer reveals that he met the four crime lords in the French Foreign Legion years ago, and they pooled their resources (and gave DNA samples) to fund Ort-Meyer's research into cloned organs (used to extend the crime lords' lives) and perfect clone supersoldiers. Ort-Meyer decided he didn't want to share, so he arranged the escape of 47, his "greatest son," and hired him through the ICA to kill the other four of his partners. Ort-Meyer releases a series of brainwashed, supposedly superior "# 48" clones, but 47 mows them down with a minigun and ultimately kills his creator.

In various missions in the game, 47 also meets two recurring characters: Agent Carlton Smith, a bumbling CIA agent who is always getting caught and freed by 47 in exchange for intel, and Lei Ling, an unwilling prostitute who flirts with 47 and gives him intel for freeing her.

Codename 47 was considered a fairly inventive and fun game during its time, but as others have mentioned, the game looks terrible by today's standards, and is missing a huge range of quality-of-life features that we've all gotten used to, like detection meters, knocking out guards, and generally being able to tell what is going on. It's a very frustrating game to play.

Hitman: Silent Assassin
Russian crime lord Sergei Zavorotko is searching for information about the man who killed his brother, Arkadij Jegorov. With the help of a well-informed, unnamed assistant, Sergei heads to the Romanian lab and finds out about 47. Together they hatch a plan to take revenge, steal a nuke, and make 47 do all the work for them.

47 has retired. Living as a gardener at a small rural church he has restored with the last of his money, 47 is shaken out of his peace when mafiosos kidnap the priest running the church. This forces him out of retirement- he takes contracts from the ICA again, and in return, they help him track down the priest's kidnappers. This turns into a sort of "World Tour", with 47 heading to:
  • Italy: To take out the mafiosos and search for the priest.
  • Russia: To assassinate a collection of former Soviet generals and track down a missile guidance system. You encounter Agent Smith again.
  • Japan: To take out a yakuza leader and get the missile guidance system. This begins by assassinating the leader's son at a sushi restaurant, which is used in the Legacy trailer. You also encounter Lei Ling again.
  • Afghanistan: To kill several lookalikes of Arab world leaders and despots and prepare the theft of a nuke, which is stolen from your client by some bald man in a suit after you finish.
  • Malaysia: To play some really awkwardly made levels and establish the whole "Rubber Ducks" joke, as well as find a software MacGuffin. Bikini guards appear.
  • India: To kill a cult leader and successfully steal the nuke back. Agent Smith appears again, having been massively demoted. You're briefly ambushed by the bald, suited man as you make your exit.
The ICA realizes Sergei has been using them to get a nuke and accepts a contract from the UN to take him down. Returning to Russia, 47 is ambushed by another clone: "Agent 17", an older version of himself that Zavorotko and his mystery friend took from the asylum. Agent 17 has no capacity for independent thought (some fans say he has no superhuman abilities, but this is contradicted by his actions ingame). Killing him and tracing his steps, 47 returns to Italy, confronts Zavorotko in the church, saves the priest and gives up any hope of living a peaceful life, returning to the ICA full time.

The Mystery Man who told Zavorotko about 47, led him to bring 47 out of retirement, and sold him out to the UN, disappears. Fans would later dub this character "Mister X".

Gameplay-wise, SA was considered the best in the series for a long time. It introduced pretty rudimentary elements of the game, like being able to knock people out, and a (borderline useless) detection meter. The varied locations, relatively strong visual design, and fun gameplay of the first few missions are what a lot of people remember. At the same time, SA was still an incredibly janky game by today's standards. The game feels a lot like entirely different teams built the different sections of the game, with different world locations representing wholly different design approaches. After Russia, the game has some really unpleasant moments- the highlight being the infamously garbage Hidden Valley map, renowned for its snipers, useless disguises, tremendous length, lack of objectives, and worst of all, the "Truck Glitch". Trucks driving through the map could randomly kill off an NPC at the other end of the map due to a poor scripting, ruining your mission ranking. With that said, it's still where a lot of the standbys of the series were established.

Hitman: Contracts
47 has been shot by one of his targets, a police officer who somehow knew his identity and was waiting for him in ambush. Stumbling into a Paris hotel room, he fades in and out of consciousness, reliving distorted, darkened memories of the lives he has taken.

Contracts is a sort of best of/remake game, with remade, vastly improved versions of almost all of the missions from the first game, interspersed with new missions. Notably, this includes a first level showing 47's escape from the asylum, which is, again, under assault by Romanian SWAT. Among them is a remake of the Fuchs hotel mission, starring a new kill opportunity that gets used for the Legacy trailer. In cutscenes in between the hallucinated missions, a back-alley doctor sent by Diana sews up 47 and he recovers just in time to evade a massive police raid of the hotel and take out the police chief that shot him. This final mission is heavily inspired by the climax of Leon the Professional. Reconnecting with Diana, 47 finds out that simultaneous attacks have started on all of the ICA's active agents. About to cut his ties with the ICA, 47 finds out that the entire attack appears to have been orchestrated...to get to him.

Contracts is my favorite game (aside from 2016). It oozes polish and style (go watch the intro cutscene I linked in the game title), and is the only game in the series that doesn't have a design-breaking bloodbath or forced non-SA mission somewhere in it. Jasper Kyd's soundtrack really shines, and the effects of 47's coma are integrated into the missions with rain, distortion, and shared imagery from the hotel room. In particular, if you hear a distinctive flickering fluorescent tube sound in the current Hitman, that's an intentional callback to its use as a motif in Contracts. Contracts also had the best progression system of the series in its time, letting the player both unlock weapons in missions by taking them out of the mission, and other weapons by getting an SA ranking on each mission. It's not as well-liked because it's mostly remakes, and wasn't available on steam for a long time due to IP issues with a song in a particular level.

Hitman: Blood Money
This...gets complex. I'll give the short version. Blood Money was rushed through production and a ton of stuff was cut or rearranged, so bear with me-this is going to be disjointed.

Before the events of Contracts, 47 carries out a mission in Central America to take out the leader of the Delgado drug cartel, a renowned cellist. This scene is used for the Legacy trailer. You then play through the Paris mission immediately before being shot, with slight retcons- the police chief who shot 47 was no longer a target, and just ambushed him as he left the scene. Skipping the events of Contracts, 47 arrives in the US, encounters some really offensive African-american stereotypes in a tutorial level, and sets up shop in their former base (this actually happens first of all, since it's the tutorial). His purpose: to hit some mans, to track down who is targeting him and the ICA, and to find out why.

In cutscenes between each missions, a reporter interviews Alexander Leyland Cayne (I know, I know). Cayne is a former FBI director who was partially paralyzed and put in a wheelchair in an assassination attempt, maybe. Cayne is not trustworthy, and most of these interview cutscenes are a heavily distorted recap of the series. Among the lies, Cayne talks about how Ort-Meyer's cloning ability has been completely impossible to replace, with the nearest match being albino clones that die in a handful of years. In reality, Cayne runs a rival assassin group, the Franchise, that makes these albino assassins, and is responsible for the attacks on the ICA.

During the missions, which are mostly unrelated, 47 encounters Agent Smith, who is investigating some sort of high-level corruption in the US government. A fake death drug and antidote MacGuffin are introduced. Very little happens regarding the whole "attack on ICA" thing aside from Diana mentioning that she is perturbed by it in some mission briefings. Newspapers and side conversations mention the death of the current President, and several references to a strange albino man. 47 stops the assassination of a politician, killing a team of snipers that includes an albino who is running the hit.

Eventually, Diana reveals that the ICA is going into hiding because everyone with any public exposure has been hunted down and killed; she wishes 47 the best and disappears. Agent Smith hires 47 for one last mission: to 1) stop the Franchise's greatest assassin, another albino, from killing the President, and also 2) to assassinate the VP, a Franchise agent. 47 infiltrates the white house (a mission that got IOI a secret service visit), has a very forced "we're not so different" confrontation with the albino clone hitman, and prevails in a weird quasi-forced-loud combat segment. Later, Diana suddenly appears in 47's hideout. She injects him with poison, revealing that she has betrayed the ICA to the Franchise. (47 calls her a bitch, which is just swell). It turns out the Franchise is a segment of the secret shadow gubmint, Alpha Zerox, who attacked the ICA just to get 47's body to create a better breed of clone, and whose other actions throughout the game have had the same goal of exclusive control over cloning tech to make a clone hitman army.

Cayne and the reporter arrive at a "funeral" for 47, whose body will be dissected for research. Diana puts on special lipstick and kisses 47, who comes back to life- it was a double cross, and she had injected him with the fake death Macguffin established earlier. Immediately after she leaves and locks the gate, 47 comes to life. He kills everyone in the building, including innocent civilians, and disappears. The ICA comes out of hiding and seizes the Franchise's assets. Alpha Zerox disappears to wherever horrible edgy secret society ideas go, never to return. Or will it?

Gameplay-wise, Blood Money is well-remembered for its spectacular kills, and for introducing several systems that were demanded by fans, but didn't work very well, such as customizing your weapons and newspapers that adapted to your performance in missions (and the first iteration of "accidental kills"). Blood Money also introduced bullet time shooting and human shield mechanics that would be dropped in the 2016 game, since they incentivize non-stealth gameplay. Every part of the game is rushed, and it really shows. It's very popular for some of its flashy setpiece kills, but there are usually only a couple ways to kill targets, and they're signposted with giant flashing neon lights. You also have infinite coins, which can completely break NPC AI. This game is when the series' misogyny really begins to shine through; all female characters are supermodels or hags, a fact that is played up for laughs/titillation. The game did begin IOI's interest in crowdgen tech, though it was only used in one mission in this game. It also introduced accident kills, which were probably its most notable design contribution to the series.

Hitman: Absolution
Here's the Attack of the Saints trailer, while I'm at it. Enjoy!
Ugh. OK. Again, the plot of this was sliced and diced, so bear with me. I'm...going to skip a lot of this because almost all of it doesn't matter or is a crime against nature. Parts of the plot are a follow-up/sequel to the execrable Hitman novels, in which the ICA is apparently SPECTRE. Bear that in mind.

47 is hired back by the ICA, this time under the command of one of the "Division Chiefs", a guy named Benjamin Travis who mostly heads their R&D. His target: Diana Burnwood, his old handler, who has betrayed the ICA somehow and kidnapped a girl they want back. 47 infiltrates her heavily guarded home and surprises her in the shower (because of course). He totally shoots her to death (he doesn't) and takes the girl, Victoria, who was(spoilers) the result of an unapproved attempt by Travis to replicate 47. This makes no sense. Don't worry about it. 47 goes on the lam from the ICA.

47 forms a special father kinship thing with Victoria, which is totally in character, and hides her in a convent/orphanage/hospital place. Blake Dexter, written as someone Trump would appoint to run the Peace Corps, gets involved and kidnaps Victoria. What follows are a series of missions involving following people somewhere, evading the massive army of secret forces and heavily armored troops the ICA now has for some reason, repeatedly getting knocked out in cutscenes, play areas the size of broom closets, and very little man-hitting. One of the missions takes place in a strip club; a target kill there is used in the Legacy trailer. 47 eventually kills Dexter and several other characters that were ripped off from 90s movies, saves Victoria, and kills Travis, who is trying to hide all evidence of Victoria's creation. 47 returns Victoria to Diana (who is alive!), with whom she will lead a normal life and hopefully not appear as an insult to the writing of female characters ever again. Diana is established to have become one of members of the ICA board of directors for handling the Franchise mess, ousting/getting rid of Travis, and generally managing 47, their invincible murder machine. Several lingering plot threads are left open and will not be resolved because they are all horrible cliched garbage. As I mentioned elsewhere, the game we got was remarkably far less offensive than what was planned.

Gameplay.
Gameplay.
Absolution had really, really pretty graphics and mostly broken gameplay. The only other things that were good were the contracts mode, IOI's groundbreaking development of crowd tech, and some specific improvements to aural signposting that were squandered on a flaming dog turd of a game. One especially infamous problem was the decision to make it so that a given disguise could generally fool anyone not in the same outfit- and then to have many of the missions only have one kind of NPC. As ChaosArgate mentions, Absolution had a finite instinct meter that could be expended to bypass suspicious NPCs (by literally holding a hand up to cover your face), and a point-shooting mechanic more common in action games. Both are gone in the 2016 game, because they are dumb and because going loud in the 2016 game is meant to be a sign you screwed up.

Bottom Line plot stuff pre-2016:
  • There's a Mystery Man, Mister X, out there who has some sort of interest in 47 and knows a lot about him. He's not Grey, and he's probably not the Constant. IOI has been teasing his reappearance ever since SA.
  • Ort-Meyer's cloning abilities were basically magic. No one else is as good at cloning as Ort-Meyer. The location of the Asylum is known (the police were there after all), and there really aren't any mysteries about how 47 was created.
  • 47 is superhuman in a bunch of ways. He aged (and was extensively trained/mindwiped) normally until he was about 20, and hasn't aged since, only getting stronger and better. He is perfect at almost everything, but doesn't speak every language, and although he has genes from other races and is (supposedly) visibly of mixed race, he can't pass as, for example, Chinese.
  • All other clones from the Asylum are dead. Other, lesser clones in the facility were not normal humans, and were often insane.
  • Diana and 47 are now total buds, and 47 doesn't like working with other people. They have been working together for about 20 years.
  • Lei Ling and Agent Smith are characters that exist, and may appear. Victoria and Alpha Zerox will probably not make another appearance. Lei Ling may not reappear either given her past role was pretty close to a racial stereotype.
  • IOI's games up until Hitman 2016 were really, really bad at portraying women and minorities. HITMAN 2016 LP is the first one to not have sex trafficking as a significant element.
Okay, got it? part 2 time.

Hitman Retcons and Plotholes

None of the Hitman games have ever had good writing, though the incidental dialogue was often excellent. The series plot has, however, become worse as time goes on and the plots have become more complex. I really liked the start of Season 1 because it seemed relatively open and simple, and I hated Season 2 because it's a bad writing cliche smorgasboard that contradicts the relatively straightforward plots of the earlier games in service of its bad fanfiction writing. My hate will bleed through in this summary post, for which I make no apologies.

Old Hitman
Originally, the ICA was explicitly nonpolitical. They frequently took contracts from groups like the UN or Interpol, the "good guys," simply because the general state of the world needed to be somewhat stable for them to function. This did not preclude hits ordered by criminal organizations, however. Diana was just a voice on the line that paid you, and 47 was entirely the product of Ort-Meyer and the Five Fathers.

Hitman 2 introduced a nameless cutscene character who conveniently knew things about 47 and the asylum and who indirectly causes that game's plot to happen, and who never appears in-mission (though iirc he's just using a generic enemy model that doesn't appear very clearly in cutscenes). It's not clear whether IoI initially intended it, but fans decided this character was some sort of ultimate manipulator with secret knowledge and called him Mister X. I am reemphasizing X because he was the only real character plot throughline for the series, though he barely appeared- his identity and motivations were the one sort of open mystery in the series plot, unless you count Alpha Zerox.

When the Hitman novels came out, they changed how ICA works, making it absurdly complex and well-equipped, with private armies overthrowing governments, etc. Some elements of the novels introduce characters or things from Absolution, but Absolution contradicts these elements in various ways. The novels were one of the first bases for Absolution's plot, which underwent many, many, many revisions over its development. The novels are terrible.

Absolution
Absolution was a horrible development clusterfuck in which IoI basically wasted huge amounts of resources, time, money, talent, etc on things that didn't make it into the final game. Entire event orders, characters, and sequences were created and dropped very, very late into development and as a result the available materials surrounding the game are a nightmarish ruin of abandoned content and plot materials that may or may not be valid.

The final version plot of Absolution was as follows: Benjamin Travis was a "division chair" at ICA whose work included a lot of sort of "assassin R&D". This included creating the Saints, who were canonically known and accepted by ICA leadership, but considered radical. The creation of Victoria, however, was secret and not approved by ICA leadership. In the final plot of Absolution, Travis abuses his authority over ICA's private cleanup army and other resources to target Diana/47 and try to cover up Victoria's creation.

During the game, 47 cuts across his head barcode (this was leftover footage from a much, much worse plotline that got the axe). This was done for absolutely no reason- the devs were obsessed with filmic symbolism and there was money to throw at a revised 47 model, so it stayed in. 47 has super healing powers, which is presumably why the barcode is back and pristine.

After Absolution, Diana gets her handler job back and also got a promotion in ICA's inconsistently defined internal governance structure. Victoria is in Diana's care and god willing will never appear again.

IoI teased X's reappearance in the Absolution sniper promotional game, but he never appeared again.

So here's a special note: IoI appears to maintain an internal writer's bible that is done up to resemble an ICA database. For Absolution, IoI took a lot of material from this writer's bible and just put it into promotional material, usually with censor bars over spoilers to make it look like ICA files. Since Absolution's plot was rewritten several times, a lot of this material contradicted the final game or went unused, and a lot was irrelevant- IoI has a horrible tendency to write large amounts of worldbuilding material that don't contribute to the game, or sideline its plot. But because Absolution was handled so sloppily, things slipped through the censorship.

1. We don't know the full scope of the cut content for Absolution, but it appears that Diana's horrible cliched tragic family backstory was a part of Absolution that was cut relatively late on- the graveyard that we see her parents die in is the final mission, and there are references to her family in cut content that indicates 47 killing her parents was always planned, but that previously, her brother had simply "disappeared", rather than died.
2. Censored material indicates that the ICA either knew something additional about 47's creation that they weren't telling him, that his backstory was already planned for some degree of retconning, or some similar slippage was occurring. Dates are changed, the Asylum is referred to as a "virtual fortress", and the document acts in some parts like the details of his creation were already being rewritten. In particular, there's a new piece of concept art that suspiciously resembles the asylum plot materials from Season 2:



There might be more material I could pull out, but a bunch of it is translated into other languages or would require parsing partially censored lines. For more details, see my posts in ChaosArgate's LP, where I excavate basically every ounce of information possible from Absolution's fetid ruins.

Nu HITMAN
Absolution and all previous entries in the series are, generally, canon, but massively deemphasized. The events of Absolution still happened, apparently, but the Dexter family member is the only even slight co-reference. The ICA presumably still has a private cleanup army somewhere, but I suspect we'll not see them again.

A lot of the twists of Season 2 were spoiled in a comic series that appeared after Season 1. It's clear that the whole plot of Season 2 was set up before Season 1 started, but a lot of it was less evident (and less evidently terrible) before that point. The plot of the comics is, regrettably, 100% canon as far as I can tell.

In Season 2, 47's origins and childhood have been significantly retconned, and the new puppetmaster plot with Deliverance Alpha Zerox The Franchise Providence is completely shoehorned into it. The details of 47's growth, his abilities, the Five Fathers, the development of the clones, the amnesia plot device, the asylum facility, and, apparently, the entire plot of the original Hitman game don't work at all with how they're depicted in HITMAN.

Mister X also hasn't reappeared, and it's not clear that he still exists. His history doesn't match Providence, Constant or Grey.

Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 01:59 on Oct 1, 2023

csm141
Jul 19, 2010

i care, i'm listening, i can help you without giving any advice
Pillbug
When did he learn to drum?

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.

Chief Savage Man posted:

When did he learn to drum?

He trained with the drums at some point in his Agency service - he canonically teaches himself whatever might be useful on a given mission, but his time at the asylum was basically soldier training, not assassination training or music or sick ninja-only DDR skills.

Yes I will answer these things straightfacedly.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


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Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010



Okay...I know that you probably don't have the polygon budget to spend too many of them on a random rat in a level but...
Come the gently caress on. What the hell is THAT?!

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