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Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Jeffrey Epstein has the kids of Stranger Things under that temple right now and they're fighting an upside down monster but Epstein trained it to be a pedophile instead.

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Mia Wasikowska
Oct 7, 2006

i bet there are a ton of little epsteins, around the world, with fortunes from sex trafficking in the 8, 9 figure range. you'd think, right.. or maybe it doesnt work that way

Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Like two miniature Jeffrey Epstein's in a pedosuit?

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014


Epstein dies and from his egg shaped penis hatches another Epstein.

Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

super macho dude posted:

Epstein dies and from his egg shaped penis hatches another Epstein.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

gh0stpinballa posted:

how is ghislaine maxwell still evading the authorities

'no fixed address'

Pener Kropoopkin
Jan 30, 2013

super macho dude posted:

Epstein dies and from his egg shaped penis hatches another Epstein.

Bushiz
Sep 21, 2004

The #1 Threat to Ba Sing Se

Grimey Drawer

Zas posted:

i bet there are a ton of little epsteins, around the world

I feel like he probably forces the girls to have abortions before that's the case.

Bushiz has issued a correction as of 17:32 on Jul 31, 2019

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

Siljmonster posted:

Jeffrey Epstein has the kids of Stranger Things under that temple right now and they're fighting an upside down monster but Epstein trained it to be a pedophile instead.

the demogorgon keeps offering them money to model for it and then give it a massage!

Vomik
Jul 29, 2003

This post is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan

Siljmonster posted:

Jeffrey Epstein has the kids of Stranger Things under that temple right now and they're fighting an upside down monster but Epstein trained it to be a pedophile instead.

someone air drop drake to save the day

Pener Kropoopkin
Jan 30, 2013

Darkman Fanpage posted:

the demogorgon keeps offering them money to model for it and then give it a massage!

if it was a show about the 90s they could watch the Tricky People Yellow Dino tape

Toplowtech
Aug 31, 2004

Darkman Fanpage posted:

the demogorgon keeps offering them money to model for it and then give it a massage!
Demogorgon really changed the culture in Hollywood.

Segata Sanshiro
Sep 10, 2011

we can live for nothing
baby i don't care

lose me like the ocean
feel the motion

:coolfish:

Ace of Baes posted:

going to post my theory here;
Epstein is just a small part of a much larger international pedophile cabal of billionaires, artists, scientists, etc. He is a CIA asset, Mossad also has ties to this operation, but probably just because Mossad and the CIA are bff's, Saudi Arabia and US ME client states are probably implicated, and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if every us puppet state was part of this. Epstein was groomed and mentored by Barr in college, Barr preyed on children at Dalton, Jeffrey also preyed on students at Dalton, Barr resigned as headmaster right as Epstein started teaching, without a degree. Barrs "former"" OSS, which means CIA.

I think this cabal goes back generations, and at some point the oss or CIA got involved in it, I think it involves incredibly sick satanic type poo poo, but at the same time a ton of them legit enjoy it because they're sickos, Clinton for example, it is less about blackmail and more like a secret society, Epstein is especially into it, which Barr probably discovered when they met in college and he recruited him because of

this feels correct even though because it would be dumb as all hell

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Ace of Baes posted:

going to post my theory here;
Epstein is just a small part of a much larger international pedophile cabal of billionaires, artists, scientists, etc. He is a CIA asset, Mossad also has ties to this operation, but probably just because Mossad and the CIA are bff's, Saudi Arabia and US ME client states are probably implicated, and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if every us puppet state was part of this. Epstein was groomed and mentored by Barr in college, Barr preyed on children at Dalton, Jeffrey also preyed on students at Dalton, Barr resigned as headmaster right as Epstein started teaching, without a degree. Barrs "former"" OSS, which means CIA.

I think this cabal goes back generations, and at some point the oss or CIA got involved in it, I think it involves incredibly sick satanic type poo poo, but at the same time a ton of them legit enjoy it because they're sickos, Clinton for example, it is less about blackmail and more like a secret society, Epstein is especially into it, which Barr probably discovered when they met in college and he recruited him because of

I don't think it is Satanic cults funded by shadowy intelligence services; humans are just lovely and rich humans moreso.

Ace of Baes
Jul 7, 1977
https://twitter.com/kbriquelet/status/1156601073471279110?s=19

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon
Hot dog, can’t wait for basically every billionaire to be indicted and for anyone smarter than the Dersh to get off scot free.

j/k those million pages will probably be lost somewhere

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

:coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot:

Moridin920 posted:

I don't think it is Satanic cults funded by shadowy intelligence services; humans are just lovely and rich humans moreso.

otoh rich people have been wrapping their sadism in stupid & creepy ritual trappings for centuries, i don't think they take it that seriously but they still do it

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin
Why did the jail attack not get brought up in court

But Rocks Hurt Head
Jun 30, 2003

by Hand Knit
Pillbug

mastershakeman posted:

Why did the jail attack not get brought up in court

Because it clearly never happened

But Rocks Hurt Head
Jun 30, 2003

by Hand Knit
Pillbug
Is 1 million pages of discovery really possible? That sounds made-up.

Is a million even real, dog?

TeenageArchipelago
Jul 23, 2013


quote:

1 million pages of discovery.

gently caress that's a lot of kindling

on a :tinfoil: note: what are the chances that this investigation is taking place in order to prevent any of the documents from the civil cases in Florida being released? it's not as if the civil case came out of nowhere, and the 2000 pages being potentially released 3 days before epsteins arrest doesn't seem like a coincidence. though even that could be more of a "gently caress we need to arrest him now to prevent those docs from going public and potentially loving up our investigation"

TeenageArchipelago has issued a correction as of 17:52 on Jul 31, 2019

comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006

they're going to fake epstein's death and bust him out of there to end the case and not trigger the dead man's switch

Ostiosis
Nov 3, 2002

comedyblissoption posted:

they're going to fake epstein's death and bust him out of there to end the case and not trigger the dead man's switch



Ten years ago a crack pedo unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they did commit. These men promptly escaped from a minimum-security stockade to the Little Saint James underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as human traffickers. If you have a problem... if no one else can help... and if you can afford them... maybe you can hire... The Ep-Team.

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

Ostiosis posted:

Ten years ago a crack pedo unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they did commit. These men promptly escaped from a minimum-security stockade to the Little Saint James underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as human traffickers. If you have a problem... if no one else can help... and if you can afford them... maybe you can hire... The Ep-Team.

TheDon01
Mar 8, 2009


holy poo poo one million pages of discovery

hope they crowd source it lmao

gh0stpinballa
Mar 5, 2019

wait why are they turning evidence over to epstein is that a typo

gh0stpinballa
Mar 5, 2019

gh0stpinballa posted:

wait why are they turning evidence over to epstein is that a typo

also why aren't they unsealing the original docs now

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin

gh0stpinballa posted:

wait why are they turning evidence over to epstein is that a typo

Prosecution needs to disclose what they're gonna use, usually this is reserved until the last second

Also 1 mil docs isn't poo poo

Eegah!
Jul 26, 2010


lol

https://twitter.com/davidenrich/status/1156644800474636289

Dr. Killjoy
Oct 9, 2012

:thunk::mason::brainworms::tinfoil::thunkher:
Epstein as an ET confirmed

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

:psyduck:

Good soup!
Nov 2, 2010

fascinated by eugenics

You don't say

Head Bee Guy
Jun 12, 2011

Retarded for Busting
Grimey Drawer
Would the documents from the civil case be stored digitally, making a hacked leak theoretically possible?

Dr. Killjoy
Oct 9, 2012

:thunk::mason::brainworms::tinfoil::thunkher:
Intellectual Darkweb crowd are definitely going to be reevaluating him after this revelation.

Eegah!
Jul 26, 2010


Whats pretty interesting is how much Pinker is quoted in that piece. Making it clear he is trying sooooo hard to distance himself from Epstein.

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin
I'm going insane

01011001
Dec 26, 2012

Eegah! posted:

Whats pretty interesting is how much Pinker is quoted in that piece. Making it clear he is trying sooooo hard to distance himself from Epstein.

i mean, i would too in his shoes

Segata Sanshiro
Sep 10, 2011

we can live for nothing
baby i don't care

lose me like the ocean
feel the motion

:coolfish:

This is not a test. This is your Emergency Broadcast System announcing the commencement of the Annual Pedocaust sanctioned by the U.S. Government. All classes of weaponry have been authorized for use during the Pedocaust, including stolen or homemade nuclear devices. No government officials have been granted immunity from the Pedocaust and shall most certainly be harmed if they are known to be child touchers. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime against pedophiles, including murder, will be legal for twelve continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 a.m., when The Pedocaust concludes. Blessed be President Marianne Williamson and America, a nation reborn. May Goddess be with you all.

Segata Sanshiro has issued a correction as of 20:43 on Jul 31, 2019

Insanite
Aug 30, 2005


absolutely dying at this

"Mr. Epstein was willing to finance research that others viewed as bizarre. He told one scientist that he was bankrolling efforts to identify a mysterious particle that might trigger the feeling that someone is watching you."

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Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Insanite posted:

absolutely dying at this

"Mr. Epstein was willing to finance research that others viewed as bizarre. He told one scientist that he was bankrolling efforts to identify a mysterious particle that might trigger the feeling that someone is watching you."

Ah yes, the Rockwell Particle

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