[Latin America] Lulag Archipelago

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Latin America] Lulag Archipelago

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015

Moridin920 posted:

Guiado: THE PEOPLE OF VENEZUELA ARE WITHOUT POWER

*cut to Maduro, he is messing with a circuit breaker when he notices that some fuses are missing*

*cut to Jack Ryan*

(in all seriousness it is funny that Venezuela accuses the CIA of loving with them and then the neolibs all declare that to be patently absurd on its face but then the USA is also making a TV show about the CIA loving with Venezuela)

I like that it's about a potentially suspicious illegal arms shipment

Good chance it's just the CIA doing it's thing

# ? Jul 28, 2019 18:03

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 23:07

Echo Chamber: Oct 16, 2008; best username/post combo

Jack Ryan is essentially Jim Halpert's Threat Level Midnight.

# ? Jul 28, 2019 18:42

Oh Snapple!: Dec 27, 2005

I'm glad someone linked a stdh.txt article in the other thread because it led me to this treasure trove of poo poo

quote:

The disdain Ch�vez, Maduro and their followers in the Bolivarian Revolution hold toward �[liberal] representative democracy� is so well-known, it�s not worth mentioning, but the same sort of contempt for an open, liberal and democratic society is evident among the Antifa (�anti-fascist�) movement and their defenders. Thus, on June 29th the Antifa demonstrators in Portland, Oregon came out to protest at a gathering of �Proud Boys,� a far-right nationalist/chauvinist, mostly white organization. While the Proud Boys have a reputation for violence, the Antifa and other ultra-left supporters appeared to have been the ones who initiated what became a riot in Portland�s downtown that ironically ended in the brutal beating of Andy Ngo, a gay man of Vietnamese descent who works as a photojournalist and is also an editor at the liberal website Quillette.

While the beating of a gay person of color in the final days of �Gay Pride Month� wouldn�t customarily fit the profile of the activities of people who call themselves anarchists and �anti-fascists,� this, much like the torture and murder of a military officer by a socialist regime (as it happened to Venezuelan captain Rafael Acosta Ar�valo,) is consistent with everything we know about the �Real Socialism� of the twentieth century.

# ? Jul 28, 2019 19:31

Captain Billy Pissboy: Oct 25, 2005; by Nyc_Tattoo; College Slice

Oh Snapple! posted:

I'm glad someone linked a stdh.txt article in the other thread because it led me to this treasure trove of poo poo

"mostly white organization" :thunk:

# ? Jul 28, 2019 19:37

Oh Snapple!: Dec 27, 2005

Captain Billy Pissboy posted:

"mostly white organization"

also referring to a heavily right-wing mag as "liberal"

i mean that's correct but not in the way he's framing it.

in any case, it remains extremely :thunk:

that the most vocal atrocity cheerleaders seem to be right-wing pieces of poo poo which at least makes it very funny when they get linked to prove a point

# ? Jul 28, 2019 19:39

Salean: Mar 17, 2004; Homewrecker

really telling that youd run back to your safespace instead of just calling someone a bootlicker in the bad forum

# ? Jul 28, 2019 19:45

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

I�m pretty that just get you a long prob and doesn�t really accomplish anything.

unless you think the 50 time someone is gonna call someone a boot licker will be what gets them

# ? Jul 28, 2019 19:47

Oh Snapple!: Dec 27, 2005

Yeah it's not worth it to call him what he is so I'm content in pointing out that they're seriously citing a made-up story from a right-wing atrocity cheerleader to be a sick own.

# ? Jul 28, 2019 19:52

GoluboiOgon: Aug 19, 2017; by Nyc_Tattoo

JACK RYAN sits on a park bench in Washington DC, the capitol dome visible in the distance. He looks pensively out at the city.

JACK RYAN - Not only are Maduro's goons selling missiles to Iran, but they are using this money to fund their own paramilitary groups! Such villany! If only those corrupt politicians in Washington would stop constraining the CIA, we could put an end to these vile socialist practices!

As it is, we are merely forced to fight Maduro's control over the cocaine trade. That bastard is not only using the profits to fund his death squads, but to buy food for his country! Only a true communist would try to evade the humanitarian blockade that make it impossible for Venezuela to participate in the global economy!

Thankfully, some brave Venezuelans are willing to stand against Maduro's tyranny, and the misguided traitors that support him in the US.

SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN walks up to the bench and sits down.

JACK RYAN - Hello, dear. I hope that you had a good day at work.

SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN - Oh, it was awful! I got mobbed at work again for wearing my Venezuelan heritage hat again. They simply refuse to understand that the Tottenkampf is a good luck charm where I come from. One of them even had the gall to say that I didn't deserve the plantation that my grandparents bought in the late 40s, that it was somehow ill-gotten!

JACK RYAN - How terrible! This is all Maduro's fault! He has been cutting the US supply of cocaine with dried soy, which has led to the decay of our moral fibre. God-fearing stockbrokers, who previously would have foreclosed on their own mothers in order to make the profits that make America great, now are beset by all kinds of weak foreign thoughts. "How is the State Department directly appointing the president of Venezuela democracy?" "Does America really need to break international law to install an arsonist as the Venezuelan ambassador?" Good red-blooded American businessmen and their loyal CIA protectors never had any complaints working with upstanding patriots like your grandparents before!

SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN - It's just so hard to remember that these people are merely pawns of socialist soy and Telesur. Sometimes I think they actually have agency, and it's so hard to think highly of yourself when real people are calling you a nazi! Just because you support Pinochet and the Contras doesn't make you a bad person!

JACK RYAN comforts SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN as she sobs bitterly.

JACK RYAN - Let me get you something to drink. This hot dog stand looks to be 100% American.

JACK RYAN walks towards the hot dog stand. To his horror, the sign flips over to read "EMPANADAS." He draws his gun from inside his jacket, but it is too late! MS-13 pours out of the defaced hot dog stand firing submachine guns. JACK RYAN is forced to dive for cover behind a tree, and had to watch helplessly as a van driven by red-pajama'd soy boys tears down the road and drags the lovely SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN into the van! JACK RYAN fires his gun at the van, but they are too far away and he is pinned down. The van swoops past the MS-13, who jump on the back and drive off.

JACK RYAN walks back to the bench, still dazed. He notices a gleam, and picks it up. It is a button from SABINE's dress, torn off in the struggle. The traditional Venezuelan twin lightning bolts gleam between his fingers. As he stares at this token of his kidnapped lover, his shock turns into anger.

JACK RYAN - I'm coming for you Maduro! You've gone too far! When I'm through with you, there won't be a single empanada left in Venezuela!

# ? Jul 28, 2019 22:04

freckle: Apr 6, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

GoluboiOgon posted:

JACK RYAN sits on a park bench in Washington DC, the capitol dome visible in the distance. He looks pensively out at the city.

JACK RYAN - Not only are Maduro's goons selling missiles to Iran, but they are using this money to fund their own paramilitary groups! Such villany! If only those corrupt politicians in Washington would stop constraining the CIA, we could put an end to these vile socialist practices!

As it is, we are merely forced to fight Maduro's control over the cocaine trade. That bastard is not only using the profits to fund his death squads, but to buy food for his country! Only a true communist would try to evade the humanitarian blockade that make it impossible for Venezuela to participate in the global economy!

Thankfully, some brave Venezuelans are willing to stand against Maduro's tyranny, and the misguided traitors that support him in the US.

SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN walks up to the bench and sits down.

JACK RYAN - Hello, dear. I hope that you had a good day at work.

SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN - Oh, it was awful! I got mobbed at work again for wearing my Venezuelan heritage hat again. They simply refuse to understand that the Tottenkampf is a good luck charm where I come from. One of them even had the gall to say that I didn't deserve the plantation that my grandparents bought in the late 40s, that it was somehow ill-gotten!

JACK RYAN - How terrible! This is all Maduro's fault! He has been cutting the US supply of cocaine with dried soy, which has led to the decay of our moral fibre. God-fearing stockbrokers, who previously would have foreclosed on their own mothers in order to make the profits that make America great, now are beset by all kinds of weak foreign thoughts. "How is the State Department directly appointing the president of Venezuela democracy?" "Does America really need to break international law to install an arsonist as the Venezuelan ambassador?" Good red-blooded American businessmen and their loyal CIA protectors never had any complaints working with upstanding patriots like your grandparents before!

SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN - It's just so hard to remember that these people are merely pawns of socialist soy and Telesur. Sometimes I think they actually have agency, and it's so hard to think highly of yourself when real people are calling you a nazi! Just because you support Pinochet and the Contras doesn't make you a bad person!

JACK RYAN comforts SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN as she sobs bitterly.

JACK RYAN - Let me get you something to drink. This hot dog stand looks to be 100% American.

JACK RYAN walks towards the hot dog stand. To his horror, the sign flips over to read "EMPANADAS." He draws his gun from inside his jacket, but it is too late! MS-13 pours out of the defaced hot dog stand firing submachine guns. JACK RYAN is forced to dive for cover behind a tree, and had to watch helplessly as a van driven by red-pajama'd soy boys tears down the road and drags the lovely SABINE MENGELE-EICHMANN into the van! JACK RYAN fires his gun at the van, but they are too far away and he is pinned down. The van swoops past the MS-13, who jump on the back and drive off.

JACK RYAN walks back to the bench, still dazed. He notices a gleam, and picks it up. It is a button from SABINE's dress, torn off in the struggle. The traditional Venezuelan twin lightning bolts gleam between his fingers. As he stares at this token of his kidnapped lover, his shock turns into anger.

JACK RYAN - I'm coming for you Maduro! You've gone too far! When I'm through with you, there won't be a single empanada left in Venezuela!

# ? Jul 28, 2019 22:07

Fiend: Dec 2, 2001

This Jack Ryan character really has potential to connect with the millennial crowd. You should give him a podcast - lets call it "Vice" where he can lay out some hard-hitting facts that are backed by the world's greatest intelligence agency.

# ? Jul 29, 2019 00:12

Lightning Knight: Feb 24, 2012; Pray for Answer

StashAugustine posted:

https://twitter.com/jackryanamazon/...ingawful.com%2F

Lmao

they�re trying so hard to be 24 when Burn Notice was the superior American spy drama.

# ? Jul 31, 2019 07:10

Percelus: Sep 9, 2012; My command, your wish is

the best american spy drama will always be burn after reading, and also probably the most accurate

# ? Jul 31, 2019 07:17

420 Gank Mid: Dec 26, 2008; WARNING: This poster is a huge bitch!

Percelus posted:

the best american spy drama will always be burn after reading, and also probably the most accurate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6VjPM5CeWs

# ? Jul 31, 2019 07:57

paul_soccer10: Mar 28, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Coens are so good

# ? Jul 31, 2019 08:57

Helsing: Aug 23, 2003; DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU JOE BIDEN

Burn After Reading kinda reminds me of Starship Troopers, in that if you didn't know when the film came out then you would probably think it was commenting on and mocking events that actually happened after it was released.

# ? Jul 31, 2019 15:11

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Percelus posted:

the best american spy drama will always be burn after reading, and also probably the most accurate

# ? Jul 31, 2019 16:15

SickZip: Jul 29, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Percelus posted:

the best american spy drama will always be burn after reading, and also probably the most accurate

It's The Patriot

# ? Jul 31, 2019 16:37

SickZip: Jul 29, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

The Patriot - The CIA tries to tamper in the Iranian elections to get a "moderate" elected but accidentally sends their money to the hardliners instead. They proceed to create a trail of bodies and destroy a bunch of lives trying to cover it up. The CIA is wildly incompetent and driven by internal bureaucratic pressure and the "spycraft" of the cia agent lead character is basically just casual brutality and lying

SickZip has issued a correction as of 16:45 on Jul 31, 2019

# ? Jul 31, 2019 16:40

Atrocious Joe: Sep 2, 2011

https://twitter.com/maduro_en/status/1156638684248268800?s=20
https://twitter.com/maduro_en/status/1156426039901544448?s=20

Maduro is sending weapons into the US!

# ? Jul 31, 2019 23:15

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

im glad they got some recognition

# ? Jul 31, 2019 23:17

Taintrunner: Apr 10, 2017; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

that�s rad

I want a sword

# ? Aug 1, 2019 00:07

Condiv: May 7, 2008; Sorry to undo the effort of paying a domestic abuser $10 to own this poster, but I am going to lose my dang mind if I keep seeing multiple posters who appear to be Baloogan.

With love,
a mod

cnn: bernie sanders, why do you want to illegalize medicine with medicare for all?

*bernie sighs as he draws the sword of nader and the victorious saber of bolivar*

# ? Aug 1, 2019 00:33

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Post ITT every time you lol that Tom Clancy is dead

# ? Aug 1, 2019 14:16

Goa Tse-tung: Feb 11, 2008; ;3; Yams Fan

ikanreed posted:

Post ITT every time you lol that Tom Clancy is dead

lol

# ? Aug 1, 2019 14:24

Pener Kropoopkin: Jan 30, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
(and can't post for 20 days!)

ikanreed posted:

Post ITT every time you lol that Tom Clancy is dead

lol

# ? Aug 1, 2019 15:36

Office Commando: Mar 23, 2005; The Invasion from Within

ikanreed posted:

Post ITT every time you lol that Tom Clancy is dead

l0l

# ? Aug 1, 2019 16:14

World War Mammories: Aug 25, 2006

ikanreed posted:

Post ITT every time you lol that Tom Clancy is dead

ok: lol

# ? Aug 1, 2019 16:21

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Ubisoft presents: Tom Clancy's loving dead

# ? Aug 1, 2019 16:30

breadshaped: Apr 1, 2010; Soiled Meat

ikanreed posted:

Ubisoft presents: Tom Clancy's loving dead

# ? Aug 1, 2019 17:01

comedyblissoption: Mar 15, 2006

luv 2 ban anti-coup activists from youtube
https://twitter.com/aaronjmate/status/1156800663029870596

# ? Aug 1, 2019 21:35

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

comedyblissoption posted:

luv 2 ban anti-coup activists from youtube
https://twitter.com/aaronjmate/status/1156800663029870596

lol how transparent

# ? Aug 1, 2019 21:44

Atrocious Joe: Sep 2, 2011

https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/1155980079026954240?s=20
The economic war continues

https://twitter.com/drnoahross/status/1156993157222952960?s=20
This article is obviously propaganda, but it's so lazily transparent about it.

quote:

The commerce secretary said the U.S. would be ready to loosen the sanctions that Washington imposed on Venezuela as the Maduro regime turned increasingly autocratic in recent years. The sanctions have choked Venezuela�s lifeblood, its oil industry. They have also been directed at Mr. Maduro, top ministers in the government and the commanders in the security services, who are accused by the U.S. of rights abuses, corruption and drug trafficking.

�For immediate relief, the U.S. will ease sanctions, promote domestic and international trade credit, deploy technological advisers and engage international financial institutions,� Mr. Ross said.

President Trump said on Thursday that he is considering a blockade or quarantine against Venezuela.

"Yes, I am,� Mr. Trump told reporters when asked about the possibility of imposing a blockade or quarantine on the Venezuela in reaction to Russian, Chinese and Iranian involvement in the country. He didn�t elaborate and the National Security Council declined to comment. The Pentagon referred all questions or requests for clarification to the White House.
...
Among the more serious challenges Venezuela faces is reversing the collapse in oil production, which has fallen from 3.5 million barrels daily in 1999 to 734,000 barrels a day as of June, according to the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries.

Mr. Ross said that the U.S. plan to repair the sector calls for a bigger role for private firms, which until now have faced difficult restrictions to operate in Venezuela.

Even simple necessities, such as spare parts, were neglected by the Maduro regime, Mr. Ross said. �Undoing the socialistic mismanagement in some levels like that will be relatively inexpensive,� he said.

In a post-Maduro Venezuela, he said, trained professionals who fled would return to rebuild what once was one of Latin America�s richest nations, along with an infusion of capital in oil, natural gas and electrical production.

Mr. Ross estimated potential revenue of $50 million a day from pumping oil from Venezuela�s vast reserves, the world�s largest.

The Commerce Department would create a clearing house to help business activity, providing real-time information about trade and investment opportunities for U.S. and international businesses, Mr. Ross said.

The U.S. will lift commercial restrictions on U.S. firms, mobilize business contacts with Venezuela and foster pro-market, pro-business reforms, he said.

A lot going on here, but in no particular order my favorite parts are:
1. Trump nonchalantly saying the US will blockade Venezuela, which is an act of war
2. The Commerce Department trying to set up some sort of Ebay for privatizing the wealth of Venezuela
3. Admitting that US sanctions destroyed Venezuela oil production and then blaming socialism for ruining oil production in the country

# ? Aug 3, 2019 03:35

Lightning Knight: Feb 24, 2012; Pray for Answer

Atrocious Joe posted:

https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/1155980079026954240?s=20
The economic war continues

https://twitter.com/drnoahross/status/1156993157222952960?s=20
This article is obviously propaganda, but it's so lazily transparent about it.

A lot going on here, but in no particular order my favorite parts are:
1. Trump nonchalantly saying the US will blockade Venezuela, which is an act of war
2. The Commerce Department trying to set up some sort of Ebay for privatizing the wealth of Venezuela
3. Admitting that US sanctions destroyed Venezuela oil production and then blaming socialism for ruining oil production in the country

it�s one thing to intellectually know that we are the baddies but it�s honestly kind of stunning to see it happen in real time lol

# ? Aug 3, 2019 03:43

01011001: Dec 26, 2012

Lightning Knight posted:

it�s one thing to intellectually know that we are the baddies but it�s honestly kind of stunning to see it happen in real time lol

mask off 2019

# ? Aug 3, 2019 03:58

Tom Guycot: Oct 15, 2008; Chief of Governors

ikanreed posted:

Post ITT every time you lol that Tom Clancy is dead

I'm surprised they haven't been making more movies of his poo poo

That one thats Taxi Driver but without any introspection or thought, always felt it would be pure uncut cocaine to chuddy old people.

# ? Aug 3, 2019 05:28

Pener Kropoopkin: Jan 30, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
(and can't post for 20 days!)

Lightning Knight posted:

it�s one thing to intellectually know that we are the baddies but it�s honestly kind of stunning to see it happen in real time lol

lol if you're not old enough to have seen it happen in the aughties

# ? Aug 3, 2019 12:41

Lightning Knight: Feb 24, 2012; Pray for Answer

Pener Kropoopkin posted:

lol if you're not old enough to have seen it happen in the aughties

I was in third grade when Iraq happened. :c

# ? Aug 3, 2019 12:44

Pener Kropoopkin: Jan 30, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
(and can't post for 20 days!)

Lightning Knight posted:

I was in third grade when Iraq happened. :c

The Obama administration was pretty evil too. The whole Libya intervention was a fever dream, and you better believe D&D had all the best opinions about it.

# ? Aug 3, 2019 12:48

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 23:07

Lightning Knight: Feb 24, 2012; Pray for Answer

Pener Kropoopkin posted:

The Obama administration was pretty evil too. The whole Libya intervention was a fever dream, and you better believe D&D had all the best opinions about it.

I was in high school when that happened and I completely bought into it. Learning how loving dumb it all was and how dumb I was for buying it was a transformative political experience tbh.

also depressing, to learn the Arab spring didn�t work out and all those people were hosed.

# ? Aug 3, 2019 12:50

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