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ShootaBoy posted:Well now I'm just even more curious. 
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Jun 9, 2019 12:16
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 09:07 |
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why
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Jun 9, 2019 12:17
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Nerds. 
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Jun 9, 2019 12:24
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lmao
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Jun 9, 2019 12:26
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I'll edit it into the update. I should also mention that you can fail the dialogue and will have to try again at a later date. So I had to read through that about 3 times and had to actually pay attention so I can remember what to properly say. Also one of the incorrect choices was when they mentioned being "Garru" and the option was "But I thought only the Holy Nation did that, treating men as cattle". Which uh...
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Jun 9, 2019 12:42
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 Holy poo poo that's both hilarious and awful. loving weebs.
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Jun 9, 2019 17:50
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See, this is why Crab clan is the best group and ninja groups aren't
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Jun 9, 2019 17:54
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but guys ninjas are so cooool like my naruto oc do not steal But for real, I didn't realize the recruit dialogue was so danged long. I figure if it was a percentage chance it'd be shorter.
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Jun 9, 2019 20:13
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Drakenel posted:but guys ninjas are so cooool like my naruto oc do not steal  You haven't seen a Holy Nation recruitment dialogue yet.It is shorter, but not by much, and the low percentage chance means you need to go through it several times. Although at least it's simpler, pick the right option from the start and just hammer 1 until you either get to character customization or kicked out of dialogue.
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Jun 10, 2019 09:46
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Dareon posted:
Oh god. I'm not sure I want to if the ninja's any indication.
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Jun 10, 2019 16:34
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poo poo, forgot to check in on this for a while. Taking turns getting shot and carrying was hilarious..and then.. 
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Jun 21, 2019 11:17
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At this point the gate seems to hinder you more than it does the enemy, what with them completely ignoring it and all.
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Jun 21, 2019 18:56
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Man, I'm glad I found this thread. I played for a while but didn't get anywhere near as far as you have. It's a heck of a neat game, and I'm glad that I'm getting to see the interesting stuff this way. Please
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Jun 24, 2019 05:14
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Oh boy, Kenshi! I liked Kenshi a ton!  Feel free to add me to the name pile, if you want preferences, I'd rather be a lady and working the blacksmith forge. 
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Jun 29, 2019 16:33
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I gotta thnak you, Leal. thanks to your LP i got over the Initial Hurdle to pay this beautiful, janky rear end game for about now 180 hours  also crab ravethough i admit i end up building bases, then abandoning the play trough. dunno why. gates are kinda weird, its getting worse too, i dont even bother closing them anymore, since the enemys run thruogh them anyway, and so i can close it behind them and trap them in the killbox
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Jun 30, 2019 08:43
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Yeah, building a maze of crates is way more effective than a gate. Then putting a multiharpoon turret to watch over it. 
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Jun 30, 2019 08:49
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I'm glad that this lp is helping people out in this game! I do have to apologize though for the recent character requests, I put a stop to those cause there is just too many people in our party. And I am going to have to apologize that updates are gonna be a bit. My catgirl dating sim MMO recently released its expansion and I'm currently operating at 4 hours of sleep after staying awake for 22 cause I'm a big nerd.
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Jun 30, 2019 13:08
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why catgirl when you can bug girl or robot girl or crab girl
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Jun 30, 2019 13:26
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Leal posted:My catgirl dating sim MMO recently released its expansion and I'm currently operating at 4 hours of sleep after staying awake for 22 cause I'm a big nerd. FF14?
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Jun 30, 2019 13:26
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I completely understand, I would be there too but I got sent a code for a different region so now I am stuck in Kamurocho rather than Eorzea.
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Jun 30, 2019 13:30
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CommissarMega posted:FF14? Correct.
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Jun 30, 2019 13:40
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Synthbuttrange posted:why catgirl when you can Espher may not like that I call him a sexy bug girl, but I do it anyway.
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Jul 1, 2019 02:34
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Just wanna say this LP contributed to me getting kenshi and for that I thank you OP.
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Jul 9, 2019 15:19
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kenshi is a terrible wonky game and I love it
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Jul 11, 2019 10:54
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God I don't think I'll ever get back to this, Shadowbringers is really good. I can't see myself sto- OK thats enough
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Aug 7, 2019 23:46
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The Value of [Crab] Friends Alright, we need to get SquirrelGrip a leg up on her current situation. But man, its quite a distance to get her a step in the right direction. Who is someone we can boot from the base and grab a pair of prosthetics...   : Beep wants to go on another adventure. : Perfect, I got a quest of great importance for you. And its everyone's favorite type: A fetch quest mixed with an escort quest.: Beep likes quests : Escort Lettuce and his cargo to Black Scratch and exchange everything he has for a left and right leg. Also whatever that currently dying scavenger has on them.You ever get the feeling a mistake was made?   : Hold it right there, traveler... Narcotics check.: I understand, go ahead...: Okay, raise your arms..... : So it's a setup, huh? What do you want from me then?: All I want is to uphold the law and help, help reform punks like you... Pay the fine for possession, 2000 Cats, and we'll forgive all crimes here today... Okay?: Corrupt cockfuck! I'm not paying YOU anything! : Well hellion, if you won't play nice then you'll rot in the station instead! Attack them!And then Lettuce eats 2 harpoon shots to the leg, one for 55 and the other for 105 loving damage.  Dear god Lettuce, what did they do to ya? What happened to your faaaaaaaace Well Beep and Lettuce's bogus adventure is going well. How are things back at Boatmurdered?  poo poo, landlord is back in town. All those months of not paying rent is finally catching up.   : Alright ,we are gonna practice this new strategy. We will stand outside the gate instead of behind it. : Out...side? Oh hey, that blob in the distance. Looks like our guests have arrived...  ..................................... Leal in the Kenshi thread yesterday posted:WHAT THE gently caress THE SOUTHERN HIVE HAS loving WAR GORILLOS?!? This is BULLSHIT     : Let us in let us in let us : Wuf Alright well, besides the AI being CHEATING FUCKS and abusing body pressing to push people through the gates, they didn't last long anyways with the sheer volume of people. : Why did I send our assault battery out with Beep? Where the hell are they anyway?! : BEEEEEEEEEEEEPFor fuc  I separated both teams into a gate team and a wall team to keep enemies off our mounted crossbows but there is just so many of them that they can't hold the enemy's attention. I'm throwing Lela up here and constantly making her change targets to keep the hivers occupied. Hilariously Dirk was able to spin the mounted turret inward, shoot past herself and hit the guy behind her.  Might be hard to see, but Scalding Coffee is currently knocking a hiver the gently caress out while eating a hiver leg. As the young people on the internet would say, thats a classic power move.  And gently caress. The War Gorillo can get on the gate, and down goes Lela and the mounted archers are getting jacked up.  Alright, whoever can still move, loving ruuuuuuuuun! Head to Ark!  Oh what luck! Crab Friends! Help! HELP!  Dragging the hivers over, the crab raiders start slowly making their way towards Boatmurdered.  At this point the tower still stands, while enemies typically beeline to mounted bows, it seems shutting the door and locking it removes that priority. I'm playing a sort of tower defense here, picking targets for Iceblocks and Sordas to double team on. Mostly trying to help out anyone who has multiple enemies attacking them, not that there is a lot of Goontang currently conscious.  Gorillos are right bastards, they got over 400 hp on most limbs (legs have the lowest at 216, but considering non humans can't be delimbed...) and stats in the 80s. Oh and they got AOE. Good thing our Crab Friends have heavy armor and typically got polearms.  Sadly the hivers turned their attention to the tower and took out the gunners.  Finally, Crab Friends are in Boatmurdered proper!   : You can beat me down, but you can't break my spirit.Now that our Crab Friends are doing clean up, time to start patching people up.  Finally, the rest of our reinforcements have arrived.  The Crabvalry has arrived!  You may have brought war gorillos, but we got crabs! [unattributed goontang clan member]: The hurt only makes me stronger.  More crabs! And thus Boatmurdered prevails. A group of bug people with giant apes attacking a settlement full of people with prosthetic limbs and ninjas who are rescued by a group of people who take giant crabs to battles. This is the best game.  And the help doesn't end there, the Crab Friends are running around and patching up any Goontang who are still wounded. Hilariously they're running around and screaming "WHAT IS THIS?!" and "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT LOCK?!". Technically the hivers are committing crimes, and the raiders are responding.   : An invasion! A rival colony come to do battle, crab against crab! Its a crab tournament! : Crab tournament!: It's a crab tooooooouuuuuuurrrrnameeeeeennntttt!!!  What  Let's... let's just.. see what Beep is doing.  : Beep is also a skeleton like you. : ...... Uh, hi.Beep is the best   And hot drat, a masterwork left AND right leg?! Well SquirrelGrip is gonna be happy....  Too bad Dervinosdoom lost his right arm   Alright so those who know the Kenshi map may have caught on that if Beep went to Black Scratch, as was planned, he wouldn't have ran into all those beak things. I sent him to Heft but the NPC I wanted him to talk to... wouldn't talk to him. Maybe its cause he has a bounty from that shakedown earlier. Anyways! Hey, look at this island with a set up here in Gut. Maybe Beep can make a friend.  : Goddamn faceless people lyin?!Well he pulled out a crossbow and is currently shooting Beep with it.  : I'm fed up with politics! had enough, see?! I AIN'T GOIN' BACK TO POLITICS! PISSING FACELESS PEOPLE LYIN'?! JUST A BUNCH OF IDIOTS LYIN' TO EACHOTHER! NO MORE OF IT FER ME!I can relate to this guy. Clearly I need to recruit this gu-  Oh god he shot beep in the face and now Beep is bleeding out on the floor.  He didn't have as much luck with Lettuce.  Once Beep gets that bolt out of his conehead and washes the blood out of his mouth, he loots No-Face. Masterwork oldworld bow hm? *yoink!* By the by, he has a 15k bounty on his head in the UC but... eh. Its kinda wild when you consider where this guy is. On an island in the middle of Gut, aka the place with a fuckload of beakthings. So you risk beak things for a measly 15k. Anyways, fun fact: No-Face is part of the Gutter's faction, which is that "faction" that the beakthings belong to. I guess its to keep him from being killed by all the beakthings.  Speaking of beakthings, maybe its time to wake up Beep.   : Beep's quest is accomplished!: Good, you're on corpse duty now. You can see everything you missed while you were gone. Finally, Squirrel can stand tall. I should get her some pants some day. So we can't put any boots on her, unlike other people who lost a single limb. Makes me wonder then, for people who only have 1 prosthetic, do they get the full defense boost of the boots or is it halved?  Time to hit back! I scout one of the ex-reaver camps and its... kinda empty.  For some reason there is a bunch of crippled or dead drones at the gate. And no, it isn't the Crab Friends on the left. They literally ran into the shot right when I hit the screenshot key. The hivers were down before then.  The Crabvalry rides into battle!  : You thought it was hard up north? You ain't seen nothing yet.And how. Well there is just naked drones with sticks running around so... I wonder if the dome is empty.  Oh god Crab Friends help  Ride the crabs into battle!  Alright lets do this right  At this point Lela and Ibble have enough martial arts to do this jumping palm strike.  Sadly though... its an enclosed space. The hivers are using polearms and horse choppers, with that aoe. And they are hitting for 45 damage a pop, so one person gets hit by an aoe, flinch, meaning the person they're fighting gets a free, unblockable strike in, which causes more aoes.... I'm really considering getting that reduced aoe mod, its getting silly.  Aaaand everyone is down for the count. Thankfully the Crabvalry is riding strong.  An annoying quirk in the game is respecting bed ownership. Even though the Reavers are dead, the hivers are our enemies (also dead), we cannot use their beds cause they're "private". Who cares what they think?!  Searching through the houses, there are more hivers. Just the generic drones though, nothing special.  : Greee! Beak nose! Snap it off!Hey now, thats just rude. I'm very sensitive about my nose, thats why I stopped wearing shades when I drive. It grossly exaggerates my schnoze  I'm so sensitive my in game avatar has popped her shoulder out of place, twisted her arm 180 degrees then bent back her elbow another 10 degrees both to hide it and to assert dominance.  Back at Boatmurdered, I take Guarstine and some of the newer people out where I've spotted a wild gorillo. If the hivers are using them, may as well start practicing on them.  Perfect! Its funny that the most seasoned guy here is taking the most damage.  Went better when I managed to everyone to circle the thing. Since they got so much health and jack for dodge they are pretty solid for training. That aoe is a problem though, but eh Dead Meat can use the medic training  Now I ran back to that reaver camp cause it still read as having population. I think its counting the reaver prisoners as part of the population, presumably its because they aren't removed when the ownership changes. And whats weird, it might be hard to see, is that there are multiple people in some of these cages. Front most cage has a person sitting in the cage, with someone else standing in it. The one to the right has 2 people standing inside one another. And the weirdest thing? The game doesn't seem to acknowledge that they're there. Clicking on them does nothing, the cage is listed as open, I can't pick their locks or interact with them in any way.  Oh and then scavengers attack   Remember that Crab Tournament stuff? The time elapsed but no one came to base. I saw a green dot at Ark though, so I send the defense squad over...  So first weird thing: It happens at Ark. The announcement is that the tournament has arrived at Ark. : SO! I hear that rival trainers have invaded the Crab Lands! Well, we shall see! We shall see... INDEED! : Yes! Let us fight in manly combat!: Go, Titus! Attack! Round 1, FIGHT! ... And then they just bounce. Whats weird is that about half the squad has turned hostile, the cursor is red (center right)...  But when I mouse over Titus, he is allied.  If I try to attack the guys marked as hostile, nothing happens. They book it away from the attacker, every time. They do not engage, no reputation is lost, and when I managed to corner a guy in a way that the sword visibly connected with them, nothing happened. No damage marker, nothing. I literally cannot hurt these guys. The way a tournament is supposed to go out is that we fight the group and if we win we enter the next round. I don't know what happened here, maybe Ark is messing with the scripts? Is it because of how the event fired off in the first place? (I imagine they're supposed to visit you for the challenge, instead of it happening the way it happened here). I can't find any information about this online outside of you fighting them and then getting 200 rep if you win. Edit: Thanks to goon mauman in the Kenshi thread, apparently we weren't even supposed to get this event if we already joined the Crab Raiders! Which kinda sucks  Well the crab tournament was gonna be my original plan to kill off Valamon but that seems borked. I then took him all the way to the Crab Queen and see if I could turn him in to her, or even throw him in a cage in the settlement but there is none. You can't even talk to the Crab Queen after you ally with her for some reason. Well gently caress, what am I supposed to do with this guy? Just set him down and kill him the regular way? Boring. Hmm....  You might recall a certain tower near Boatmurdered that I nope'd from...  Enjoy your new home Valamon.   : EEUUURRRRHHH!! : Beasts! Someone, give me a hand!
Leal fucked around with this message at 00:59 on Aug 9, 2019 |
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Aug 7, 2019 23:46
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The Crabvalry has saved us once again! 
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Aug 8, 2019 01:21
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Well, My right arm was my second favorite arm anyway. Hopefully I get a neat prosthetic from it!
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Aug 8, 2019 03:51
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Amazing progression here! Impressed you’ve been juggling such big groups at the same time
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Aug 8, 2019 04:24
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Wow, thread has gone gold! I'm glad you all organically and naturally with no persuasion voted it 5! Such a miracle it killed the forums for a day Hopefully this post will get tildes' post out of the aether. E: Success!
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Aug 8, 2019 14:17
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THE CRABVALRY RIDES AGAIN https://twitter.com/fox5dc/status/1159072688675205121?s=19
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Aug 8, 2019 19:19
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I guess the Crab Tournament challengers got drunk and went the wrong way.
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Aug 8, 2019 19:26
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30-50 feral crabs
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Aug 8, 2019 19:53
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Well this is interesting, re: Crab tournament. Thanks to mauman in the Kenshi thread:mauman posted:They're supposed to happen at your base. The crab tournament event wasn't even supposed to fire in the first place. Also now I know why it never would fire, cause dammit I've been waiting for this this whole time 
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Aug 9, 2019 01:00
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Holy poo poo....now that I've read your update...that's really loving weird that the game even gave it to you. edit - just an fyi, I've played the hell out of this game and read up on it a lot, but I could always be wrong. I've just never seen that happen, nor have I read of it happening after someone already joined the faction. 2nd edit - oh poo poo, you took out Velamon. This might....be bad. mauman fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Aug 9, 2019 |
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Aug 9, 2019 01:04
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Crab Baaattttllllleeee!
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Aug 9, 2019 02:01
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Well of course you can't sleep in another person's bed, what if they're sick? Gates and doors are completely useless, but what about a drawbridge or
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Aug 9, 2019 15:37
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next up: arm removal
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Aug 10, 2019 03:37
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Leal posted:
Also lmao at the crab tournament. Even after playing the game for a lot it still makes me smile to find out about all those little things that the creator stuffed in there E: CRAB TOURNAMENT IS REAL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XyOZB0jRlA Tin Tim fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Aug 10, 2019 |
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Aug 10, 2019 18:45
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 09:07 |
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Praise Okran We haven't seen our good friends the Holy Nation for a while. How about a look into living in their lands?  Good advice for irl.  Since being a non human or a female is really bad in Holy Lands, I'll be making a male greenlander. Guess I'll make him look like me irl.  Ah yes, there we go. Its practically picture perfect. No wait poo poo, I've been too open about myself on the internet. No one will believe this is me. They know I'm Portuguese.  :cryinglinguicaoverportugalflag:  I believe the holy citizen start can put you in any of the 3 main holy nation cities, I start in Bad Teeth in this case.  You start with a very vital item for being in holy nation lands: The holy   : Do you have a copy of the Holy Flame, brother?They're very important. The game literally tells you to have a copy.  This is the usual dialogue in HN lands, lots of "brother" or "sister" and blessing the light.  A whole bunch of paladins standing around have an option to talk to them, lets see what our enforcer of Okran's will has to say.   : Any travel advice you can give me? : Venturing on a pilgrimage, brother? Well, it's best to stick to holy territory, the outer lands are infested with Narko's heretics that will try to decieve and tempt you into the darkness with them.... But if you must venture further, above else, you must avoid travelling north west. Only the most devilish monstrosities prowl there, a hundred times the size of a man, with the hunger of a rabid demon. The foolish treasure hunters are the only travellers to delver there, never to return. But, how tragic it is, there is nothing there worth searching for. There is no place for riches if Okran is already in your heart. If you remember waaaay back, shortly after escaping Rebirth, we headed west and ended up in a place with all those gigantic skeletons being half buried in the ground.: Any tips on how to live more wholesomely for an Okranite newbie?: Study the Scriptures of Light, meditate on them, pray to Okran and respect his holy servants with an open heart, brother. This is the way to a pious existence, for darkness preys on an undisciplined mind. As for duty, if you are blessed with the skills for it, you may carry out Okran's retribution directly by bringing marked heretics to the inquisitorium. Holy Nation lands are crazy safe... if you're a male greenlander with the bible. There are a lot of HN patrols, so why not hang around a group of them?  Cause they murder any river raptors they run across. Easy animal skin to sell!  Doing this got me nearly 8k Cats, time to grab a partner!  And hey, its a unique recruit. I'll grab him since we wont see him in the main game. Not because he is part of the HN faction (he is considered a drifter), and I'm *pretty sure* randos don't jump into fights if you beat up the local guards, but because I want to grab more non human recruits. : Will you now? : Tell ya what, I'll sing ya a song. AHEM. MMMmmm- chmmmm.... on second thought, pay my 3000 cat tab and I'll sing you tales till the sun stops setting. Know all the good ones and got a voice worth writing songs about! Ha!: How about a demostration before I go all in?: Ahem... There was once a pixie above all the clouds. She soared with the zephers, gallant and proud! She went to the neh neh neh neh crest and swam with something something something her breast! She went to... to... ah I don't remember but they make her queen at the end. So, pretty good, eh?: ..... You can join me if you promise not to sing.: Deal!I'll give Volmarias a fair shake and rename Bard after them  While heading out we get stopped by a gate guard and thank god he can outrun me and was able to catch up cause it would've sucked if I tabbed and ran off from this guy and ignored him until he and the entire guard gets pissed. : Love and devotion, brother. In order to uphold the sanctitude of our hallowed society, you must surrender your possessions for inquest, brother. The blessed cities will not tolerate the passage of items of corruption.: Is it so necessary to check your brother of pure blood?: Evil manifests itself in all forms. To rely and be fooled by the senses over Okran's judgement is the most ignorant of blunders. Submit yourself, only then can you prove your innocence in the eyes of the Lord Of Light.: Yes, I understand.: Let's see what you got... Everything is in order. You may pass.Thanks for giving us the privilege to leave the city By the way, HN will get you for the usual hashish and hemp... but also any and all alcohol. Outside the city walls holy gently caress look at all those starving bandits. Look at them! I may have left the increased squad sizes and crap from the main game on *cough*  Time to earn favor by fighting with our Okran brothers!  God drat there has to be like 50 of these assholes here.  Aaaand down I go. This is bullshit, they kept hitting my stomach and nothing else.  Time for a goontang secret: Run Volmarias! Ruuuuun!  I've done some shopping after selling all those sticks from the bandits. : Why do you get the chainmail and I get the leather shirt?: Have you seen these guns? The chainmail will simply crush you. Heading on north to Blister Hill, to see a special someone.  : Make youreslf presentable, sidekick! We must impress ourselves on the Pheonix, blessed be his name. There he is! The Pheonix Lord himself! Surrounded by a bunch of "Protector of the Flame" guards. Lets talk to him...  : You wish to talk to the Lord Incarnate, the Holy Phoenix Himeslf, blessed be his name? Then earn your audience... Through blood, tears and sweat. Through the purging of Okran's enemies... As long as Narko's agents roam freely, the Holy Inquisitor will always need helping swords. Find him in the inquisitor station.Welp. He wont speak to us, unless we get a really high amount of relations with the Holy nation. So much for getting him to notice us   : They come from every city to find, some dreams were meant to be denied... something something what have you come to do?Across from the faction throne building is the exact same building but its the police HQ.  It is pretty much a reskinned police HQ from the other 2 main factions, its headed by an inquisitor who takes in criminals. Sadly, just like the other police stations, asking for work gets you "go out and find them, rear end in a top hat."  : I'll need to drill you to get biceps like these. As long as these walls are between us we can punch these dummies just fine. : You! What do you think you're doing? That's private equipment.poo poo, Okran lets them see through walls!  Alright time to earn some honest cash. Running to a nearby holy farm we work on the crops and pocket the cotton that we harvest. Its not glamorous but its honest work.  : You're from outside the Holy Lands. Is it true that the women folk devour your... uh.. "gohans" after fornication?  Whats neat is that these sleeping bags out here aren't private and don't cost anything. I hang around for a bit, doing runs to blister hill to sell stuff.  The next day a paladin calls out to the group.  : Blessings upon you, brother. Welcome to the holy country. A sanctuary from the darkness that plagues our lands, a place where you belong as a pure and true child of Okran.: Love and devotion, brother.: Be sure to make use of the refuge of the sanctified cities, my brother. It's dangerous in this area but you're not completely alone. Now please, take some food. Know that you are in good hands here. May the Lord Of Light watch over you.Then he gave me a ration pack. Just like that.  : We need to repay the kindness our Okran brothers have blessed us with. The lands are blessed by Okran, and are very fertile. I'll lift up these kegs of water with my giant arms, and your dainty arms can handle the plants.: Sometimes I feel like my only friend. Sometimes I... neh neh neh... I'm all alone. I mean what can go wrong putting a farm up in a place like this?  To help move produce around easier, I grab a bull at a nearby holy farm. They do have a farmer that buys and sells stuff, including animals! Of course the rear end in a top hat shortchanged me and didn't include a bag for the bull  I name the bull Thyrok, giving them a fair shake.  Oh hey the local fauna seems attracted to our crops. No wait, hold on.  : drat varmints!buh, varmints?  Even with the siege equipment that is a bull, there is just too many river raptors for these lowbie characters. Run awaaaay  So that isn't gonna work out, gonna hang around the nearby holy farm for a bit and use their bedrolls to heal up.  While heading back in town I spotted a nomad caravan and look at the babby goats  Getting some cash I hire mercenaries to help out. Speficially, "human" mercenaries. You'll notice these guys are way different then the ones literally everywhere else, and thats because they have to be all humans to operate in holy lands.  Yeah, now what fuckers  And stay away from my crops! : Yeesh, would ya put some clothes on?!: You're dead. I want your crap.Enjoy the spoiled meat I guess. I already took all the skins.  I head westward to Stack and along the way... : Ahem... *hack*: I know that sound... preparing for a song... please not another song....: Harmothoe, Harmothoe, she lived a life of anguish! For chaind in Rebirth she was condemned to languish.... 'Til one day she'd been ravished by the high paladin most vile! And she swore her dark vengeance with a murderous smile.... She stashed a long nail, forged to a blade... And one by one the guards were slayed. Now the high paladin lies dead, a nail in the eyeball.... With it the name Harmothoe, in bluud on the high wall!: .... Don't go giving me ideas about your eyeballs, bard...You know, up till now, there has yet to be any implication of sex in this game. Which is a god drat miracle cause stuff like that seems to be priority #1 for nerds in regards to post apocolyptic media.  You ever get the feeling of deja vu?  Hey its HIgh Inquisitor Seta. This is another one of the 3 people that are in charge of the holy nation. Sadly he acts like a regular inquisitor, nothing special talking to him. Well this was a bust.  : Hold it! : You're mistaken, brother. (Shows Holy Flame): I see now.... Accept my apologies, brother. Okran's crusade take it's toll on us, and our judgement too. Divine blessings, brother.Carry a copy of the holy flame ALWAYS.  Coming across a fight between bandits and paladins, we grab a few of the downed bandits....  And head to a very familiar area...  The HQ building in rebirth has a uniquely named inquisitor that we can speak with.  : Yes, holy brother. This one is all yours.: Bless you, holy brother. It is a deed that will not go unnoticed in the eyes of the lord Okran. Rebirth will take care of them from here. Blessings upon you, brother.We can bring people to Rebirth as slaves and we get 1 point of relations with the holy nation for it. We can ask for money, but they get all pissy about it.  Wait hold up, we got this other person too. .... Hello?  : And after you mix the dozen eggs with the meat slurry, you do handstand pushups while drinking through a straw....: Music the great communicator, use.... the generation... of a nation.I had to wait for the guy to come back  On our way back from Rebirth... : Ahem... *hack*: I'm warning you, no songs.: Song? Why, a fly flew up my nose, that's all! But I can sing a song, for sure.... A fly went up my nose! And... something about crows!*thud* :: Ow! No throwing rocks!: I'll throw you into a Rebirth cage from here. And then when we got back some dust bandits were chilling in the outpost.  : .... *breaks his jaw* : ARRRRGGGLLLLHHHH!!!! AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHLLLLLLL!!!!!: I am so proud of my protege Oh god dammit more river raptors.  Okran brothers, help! How nice that they happened to pass by.  Alright set up a little wall for my humble farming community. If just to make sure any river raptors have to come in from the road and will ideally hit any HN patrols.  Uh oh, looks like breaking that bandit's jaw had some consenquences!  Though... I don't recall them being that far away.  Wait these aren't dust bandits at all! Black Dragons have quite the range in where they can appear.  : Ugh, this place better have good loot... Can't face going back to the boss empty handed again.... I can hear Dimak now... "A woman needs her treasure, Boo....": "Ohhh Makky, I'll give you all the treasure in the world!"(yes, a second member joins in the mockery) : "Oh Boo, they never bring me good treasure!": "Oh Makky!": "Booooooo! : Well, there's only one way to find out how much loot we got...: Attack! : *girlish yet totally still bro-y shriek* We come across some mercenaries on the run to Blister Hill, who start taking swings. Appreciated but there is still a fuckload of black dragons here.  Not to deny they don't get a few good licks in.  Some puppos also help out.  Okran brothers, help!  : Darkness!Oh drat I didn't know this was a KINGDOM HEARTS LP HAHAHAAHAHAHA! Thank you thank you I came up with such a joke all by myself please donate to my patreon for original humor such as this.  Patrols are jumping in as well, finally evening the numbers out. Time to join in!   Okran dammit And there goes Volmarias. When we eventually gain conciousness I go into blister hill, don't want to drag anyone back to the outpost. When I head in I notice a hell of a lot of damage numbers popping up in a building...  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hooooooollly poo poo. Black Dragon ninjas beeline for your food barrels. Since they ended up in this city, they just beelined to the bar to jack all their food. Queue a ton of paladins rushing the building. This is loving *amazing*  And in doing so, they all get bounties as well. And they're in the city. There is a metric fuckload of them, meaning the guards can't ferry them to the police station in a timely manner.  Its chaos in here. Sadly I go down, but Volmarias is still kicking...  So he starts picking up the downed ninjas and carrying them over to the police station The dialogue is also pretty great here. You got the shinobi thieves hanging out watching the fight: : This way! Over here!: Hoy, what's goin' on. Let me see!Citizens are freaking out and yelling "stop this evil", and of course guards are calling all the women "blackened woman".   : When to descend to amend for a friend... I forgot the rest, but you're gonna give all your life to sacrifice. I believe the police stations are more accepting of paying you for turning in criminals... and even then, if you don't want to deal with it you can just throw the criminals into the cage to bypass the dialogue and get paid. This is also how you can get paid for people who get bounties commiting crimes in places without a police station (IE, back in Flotsam.) Not taking pay further increases our relationship gain for turning in the bounty. After a handful of these....  A line I would never expect to see in this lp!  Now that we are best buds, the Pheonix will talk to us, right? : This is the Lord Incarnate. You will not approach without summon, my brother. Step away from the Holy Lord Phoenix Himself, blessed be his name. He'll never notice us.... Back at base.... oooh boy. Welcome to the "tax" system in the Holy Lands.  Thats a rather large amount of people for a simple prayer, isn't it?  : Divine blessings to you, brothers! Today is a glorious day! Even better that it is Prayer Day... I travel from the city with my faithful paladins so that we can pray together! I bring the church to your very gates, my beloved brothers! Come to me... Come and pray with me ont his beautiful day!: ....Paladin : The priest requests your audience brothers. Come. Do you hear? Priest: A moment more, sir paladin. If you will... Paladin: ..... Priest: .... Paladin: To ignore the request of a holy priest is looked upon as sacrilige, my brothers... I warn you once, and only once! Priest: *nods* Paladin: It is with regret that your aversion to prayer must be reported... Priest: Come, sir paladin.... We must inform the High Inquisitor.Erm, woops. I did try to talk to the guy but it wouldn't let me. Lets go back a bit..  : Now take out your Holy Flame and press it to your heart....: I don't have the Holy Flame (disregard the lie): You are new. It is forgiven. But be warned, it is a crime to be without it. Here take this, carry it on you at all times, never be without it. Now holy onto my hand...: And repeat after me. Oh Okran, Lord of Light.(each line break is an individual text box, requiring an input from you to repeat it. Pretend I repeat after each line break) quote:Let thine flame burneth bright : Until next prayer day, brother. It has been my pleasure. Well this isn't going os bad. We got some good armor that we have bought using the blessings of the land, as bestowe by Okran. I have a single XL cotton farm here and it can net us like 8k a day as long as I can keep the raptors away, its kinda nuts. Only really doable up here though where it is incredibly safe. With that sa- Wait but... we already.. had one of these....  It is tedious to go through this so often, just blabbing on and on... : *Ahem* LET US NOT YEARN... FOR FLESHLY PLEASURE Death might be preferable to this... : *cough* BUT YEARN ONLY... FOR LOVE FROM THE CREATOR Just a solid, open palm slap. Right across the cheek. That'll show him. : I said... LET US HONOR... OUR SACRED BROTHERS... Listening to this guy so often makes one want to turn to drink.... : *chokes emphatically* LET US ABSTAIN... FROM INTOXICATIONS... A solid smack... just... smack. Bam. Put him in his place. : IsighI FOR DARKNESS PREYS... UPON THE IDLE MIND... It can end... all it takes is one quick motion. That mustache of his gives a helpful point on where to land your hand.... : *ahem* *cough* LET US PRAY FOR THE WELLBEING OF MANKIND I should...? I sh... I shouldn't... I should let this holy man continue his work. For only he can guide the misguided onto the way of the Light, and as followers of the Phoenix, blessed be his name, are we obligated to perform our duty. Come brothers, come together for prayer. My brothers.  CARE TO JOIN ME FOR A DAY OF PRAYER, MY BROTHERS? Leal fucked around with this message at 04:51 on Sep 18, 2019 |
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Sep 18, 2019 04:37
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