The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

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coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

STONE COLD 64 posted:

really the fault is on allie kat for not capitalizing and remarketing herself as stray kat

That�s exactly what she�s doing right now. A stray white claw powered kat

# ? Aug 3, 2019 19:11

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# ? May 29, 2024 10:05

Dimebags Brain: Feb 18, 2013

Past few weeks of reddit�s Hot Takes thread have been pretty boring, mostly insular drama, but finally got a good one.

https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/cnzsfj/zero_fucks_friday_august_9th_2019/eweysha/

quote:

Guys, get it together and use your heads.
Meltzer is claiming that the last few weeks Vince threw the Smackdown script out and rewrote it himself. The first few weeks it was hours before he show. Last week he apparently rewrote the second hour, while the first hour was going on.
Here's the problem: the past few weeks have been great. WWE has been really good for months and months now, but you guys specifically liked the last few weeks - before Meltzy told you that Vince rewrote it all, of course.
So if Vince didn't like the Smackdown scripts and rewrote it all himself as Meltzy claimed, then he should fire his entire writing team and write every show himself.
For someone who isn't a TV Writer, he done an amazing job. And the fact he done it all just hours prior to the show and even during the show, while his work was still entertaining and made sense within storylines, advancing said stories means he's like one of the most creative writers in all of wrestling.
But the running narrative has been that Vince is "ruining the WWE" because he personally rewrites storylines, angles and shows. Yet when he apparently just rewrites shows at the last min without a care, they're amazing.
So, to that end, I have a theory on this massive inconsistency regarding Vince's talent:
Vince clearly didn't rewrite the shows at the last min. That's really dumb. Firstly, he wouldn't have time, secondly it wouldn't be any good if it was rushed. But apparently this 73 year old - who spends all the rest of his time running the other aspects of WWE - can magically write amazing wrestling shows in like half an hour.
So this obviously isn't the case, and I suggest a very simple answer: Meltzy's latest source is a lower-tier writer in WWE, who works on the Smackdown brand. Their material was scrapped and rewrittin by Vince.
So they get pissed off and cry to Meltzy, claiming that Vince rewrote the whole show rather than just their awful segment.
Occum's Razor. Please use your heads whenever someone like Meltzer tries to claim this outlandish bullshit. He just spouts uncorfirmable bullshit and everyone falls for it hook, line and sinker.
Smarten Up

# ? Aug 9, 2019 14:05

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

I think I've seen more stringent reasoning applied in those History Channel "Were Aliens Behind The French Revolution?" style programs, holy gently caress :stare:

# ? Aug 10, 2019 01:25

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

Jerusalem posted:

I think I've seen more stringent reasoning applied in those History Channel "Were Aliens Behind The French Revolution?" style programs, holy gently caress

Were aliens behind WWE's booking?

# ? Aug 10, 2019 02:27

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

GEORGE W BUSHI posted:

Were aliens behind WWE's booking?

Aliens opening up Vince's brain to examine it was the inspiration for that scene in Castaway where Tom Hanks opens up a crab before cooking it.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 04:05

Web Jew.0: May 13, 2009

Meltzy

# ? Aug 10, 2019 04:05

flashy_mcflash: Feb 7, 2011

Web Jew.0 posted:

Meltzy

Occums Razor

give me occummies

# ? Aug 10, 2019 15:27

Vince MechMahon: Jan 1, 2008

Shave "Meltzy" Seltzer, journaLIAR.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 21:07

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

flashy_mcflash posted:

Occums Razor

give me occummies

meltzy�s scoopies

# ? Aug 10, 2019 21:08

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

https://twitter.com/RYANFALCONE/status/1160550194456539136?s=19

NJPW do what now???

# ? Aug 11, 2019 14:58

Low Desert Punk: Jul 4, 2012; i have absolutely no fucking money

https://twitter.com/tysonarnold97/status/1160526844732592129

https://twitter.com/SonrisaDeHiromu/status/1160524557909929984

https://twitter.com/HitTheSheets141/status/1160574209086709761

lmao

# ? Aug 11, 2019 23:57

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Low Desert Punk posted:

https://twitter.com/tysonarnold97/status/1160526844732592129

https://twitter.com/SonrisaDeHiromu/status/1160524557909929984

https://twitter.com/HitTheSheets141/status/1160574209086709761

lmao

And y'all give me the business. Holy moly.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 00:13

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

Naito in AEW would be lit though honestly, like imagine Naito and MJF.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 00:44

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

naito is a midcarder.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 01:50

MotU: Mar 6, 2007; It was like she was evicting walking garbage.; Pillbug

STONE COLD 64 posted:

naito is a midcarder.

yeah and AEW needs job guys so its a match made in heaven

# ? Aug 12, 2019 01:57

Draxion: Jun 9, 2013

MotU posted:

yeah and AEW needs job guys so its a match made in heaven

they've got kenny already

# ? Aug 12, 2019 02:08

Gumball Gumption: Jan 7, 2012

Naito, quit and unlock your true potential in hoodslam

# ? Aug 12, 2019 02:35

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

Naito should go somewhere that will treat him right with a fanbase that will respect him - Gatoh Move.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 02:46

Burn Down Canberra: Oct 27, 2005; GAME PLANS? We don't need no stinking game plans.

Hmmm if Naito is so good why does he keep losing to Okada

# ? Aug 12, 2019 02:50

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

Burn Down Canberra posted:

Hmmm if Naito is so good why does he keep losing to Okada

because he's good, not great

# ? Aug 12, 2019 02:52

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

Burn Down Canberra posted:

Hmmm if Naito is so good why does he keep losing to Okada

I think you'll find Naito has a better record over Okada than Sanada if we don't go by winning percentage and use alphabetical order as a tiebreaker

# ? Aug 12, 2019 03:40

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

Burn Down Canberra posted:

Hmmm if Naito is so good why does he keep losing

# ? Aug 12, 2019 03:40

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

Naito should challenge booking coward Gedo to a shootfight on streetbeefs.

Mostly just to confuse the redneck locals why a japanese guy is speaking spanish and dresses like Elvis.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 15:47

AkumaHokoru: Jul 20, 2007

Warning long paste of bullshit from facebook about chris benoit that I originally posted in the wrong thread

facebbok posted:

24 Reasons that will prove that Chris Benoit was Innocent

1) Chavo Guerrero � a close friend of Benoit- told WWE magazine that he talked to Chris for while on Friday night on his house phone. About 45 minutes into the conversation, Chris told him that there was somebody knocking at his door and he was going to see who it was. Shortly after Chris answered the door, there was a �scuffle� and then his house phone line went dead. Chris could only be reached on his cell phone about 3 hours later. This is very significant. This explains why there was no forced entry. Chris let the killer or killers in.

2) After Chavo reached Chis on his cell phone, he said that Chris sounded very odd, groggy and tired. He also said that Chris told him �I Love You Chavo� which sounded forced. The WWE also said that when Chris called in and told them that Nancy and Daniel were sick he did not sound like himself. He sounded groggy. Chris then said �I Love You� which they say was out of context because he usually didn�t say this.

3) Chris Benoit�s cell phone is missing. The police cannot find his cell phone or the needles they say Chris used to inject himself with steroids shortly before he died. The police have turned his cell phone off.
4) Chris was not hanging from the weight machine, he was laying on the floor underneath the machine. Another officer said that Benoit was �slumped� against the weight machine.

5) There was a white cloth wrapped around Chris� neck. If he was so suicidal why would he care if his neck was bruised?

6) The medical examiner says that Chris Benoit died on Saturday. The text messages were sent on Sunday. Chris was already dead so who sent the text messages? It is noted that nobody talked to Chris on Sunday.

7) The steroids found in Chris� house were not in his body.

😎 If Chris� had murdered his family then why did he need to text people? Think about it. Everybody was dead. Nobody would hear him talking so why text? Calling would have been easier. (I believe the killer text Benoit�s address to get somebody to come to the house to find the bodies)

9) Chris sent Chavo a text message telling him his address. Why would he do this? Chavo already knew were Chris lived. He spent the previous weekend with him.

10) Chris� body was badly de- composed, about the same as Nancy�s. This shows he died sooner than Sunday.

11) Why would he tie up Nancy to kill her? He was a big guy. He could have just hit her one good time and she would have been out.

12) Ray also told me that the world press is reporting the manner of the deaths wrong. He says that Daniel was shot in his head and Nancy was shot in her chest.

13) Chavo said that the Chris Benoit seemed �worried� about something but he could not get Chris to open up and tell him why he was worried.

14) There was no Bible besides Chris� body. Why would he place a bible beside Nancy and Daniel and not place one beside his own if he knew he was about to take his own life?

15) There were 10 empty beer cans and an empty body of wine besides Chris� body. He tested negative for alcohol.

16) The toxicology confirmed that Chris had Hydrocodone (pain killer) Xanax (anti-anxiety drug). I have used both of these. These 2 drugs combined will sedate Chris and make him very sleepy. So he could not fight back.

17) The police originally said that Daniel died on Friday because his body was badly de-composing. This supports my belief that all 3 died on Friday night. The police changed the manner of Daniel�s death 3 times. 1st he died from a garbage bag, 2nd he died from a choke hold, 3rd he was smothered by a pillow. Why would they keep changing?

18) The police kept changing the location of where Nancy�s body was found. 1st she was found in the downstairs family room. 2nd she was found in the upstairs bedroom. 3rd she was found in the house office.

19) Chris� father said that Chris called him on father�s day and told him that he wished he could spend more time with his family but he had to work. One of Nancy�s friend says that Nancy Loved Chris and she had no plans to leave him.

20) Retired Wrestler Bam Bam Bigalow died 1-19-07. Sherry Martel died 6-15-07. The Benoit family died 6-22-07. Since this family died, 2 other wrestlers have died. (Brian Adams and Johnny Crush in July and August 07) Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Brian Pillman all died the night before they were set to win title belts. Sherry Martel�s death is even more suspicious to me. Sherry Martel had ties to Nancy Benoit�s ex-husband Kevin Sullivan. The circumstances surrounding her death have not been released.

21) Kevin Sullivan told Chris Benoit that he would kill him. Kevin is currently a high ranking member of a satanic cult. Kevin is also on the WWE Board of Directors. Kevin Sullivan also had motive to kill Daniel Benoit because he was Chris and Nancy�s offspring. Retired wrestler Dusty Roads said that �he danced with the devil� when working with Kevin Sullivan who is known as being Cold-hearted and conniving. The Benoit family was murdered on the 10-year anniversary of Nancy�s divorce from Kevin Sullivan.

22) Nancy Benoit�s death was posted on the internet, 14 hours before her body was found.

23) Weeks before he died, Chris Benoit�s colleagues said that Chris began taking alternate routes to and from work and back to his house. Chris and Nancy believed that somebody was following them. Chris� friends dismissed his worries as paranoia.

24) The Benoit family was murdered the same week that the WWE had a story line of �Who killed Vince McMahon.�

# ? Aug 12, 2019 18:15

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Would you like to poke some holes in the argument or did you just post it in the wrong thread?

# ? Aug 12, 2019 18:28

AkumaHokoru: Jul 20, 2007

Cavauro posted:

Would you like to poke some holes in the argument or did you just post it in the wrong thread?

I just posted it in the wrong thread the first time. I had accidentally put it in wrestlers on social media when it belongs here because hoo boy there's a fuckton of stupid poo poo in it.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 18:36

TV Zombie: Sep 6, 2011; Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

At the very least, there's some dedication to that amount of crazy. 24 reasons! who does that?

TV Zombie fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Aug 12, 2019

# ? Aug 12, 2019 18:52

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

All of the points make sense to varying degrees

# ? Aug 12, 2019 19:02

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Chris Benoit's body was already a skeleton when he was found, indicating that he had actually died 18 hours prior to what has been fed to you by the media.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 19:03

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

thank you, Dylan, noted wrestling expert, for this insightful point.

https://twitter.com/DylanToback2/status/1160963535452725250

# ? Aug 12, 2019 19:28

Lead Pipe Cinch: Mar 10, 2003; Heavy Metal Bakesale

I bet if you ask him politely, Orange Cassidy will stand somewhere other than the entrance to the building.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 19:31

Low Desert Punk: Jul 4, 2012; i have absolutely no fucking money

that AEW tweet is a goldmine of brainworms takes

https://twitter.com/JTStrike2/status/1160965863119511559

# ? Aug 12, 2019 19:34

DLC Inc: Jun 1, 2011

Low Desert Punk posted:

that AEW tweet is a goldmine of brainworms takes

https://twitter.com/JTStrike2/status/1160965863119511559

acting like wwe doesnt do joke poo poo like goldberg clowning people in 40 seconds or shane mcmahon legit beating up other trained workers for months is precious. though I guess it's not the same since orange cassidy owns more than that poo poo

# ? Aug 12, 2019 20:08

hunnert car pileup: Oct 28, 2007; the first world was a mistake

DLC Inc posted:

goldberg clowning people in 40 seconds

this owns tho

# ? Aug 12, 2019 20:26

DLC Inc: Jun 1, 2011

Fauxhawk Express posted:

this owns tho

yeah you're not wrong

# ? Aug 12, 2019 20:28

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Fauxhawk Express posted:

this owns tho

Especially when it's Dolph Ziggler and he basically gets triple murdered acting out the wrestling equivalent of the Monty Python bit with the Black Knight.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 23:17

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

I feel strongly about the way Goldberg makes a joke of WWE wrestlers by being very old, brain-injured, out of shape and capable of squashing everyone very easily. I believe Dolph Ziggler deserves just as much as Seth Rollins deserves.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 23:21

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Cavauro posted:

I feel strongly about the way Goldberg makes a joke of WWE wrestlers by being very old, brain-injured, out of shape and capable of squashing everyone very easily. I believe Dolph Ziggler deserves just as much as Seth Rollins deserves.

You are good and my friend but I respectfully disagree because I don't like the way Dolph shakes his rear end without having some sort of Rick Rude gimmick, plus I will forever resent him for stopping Dean's top run dead, personally. Just IMHO.

# ? Aug 12, 2019 23:25

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

i examine your disagreement and find it to be worthy of respect

# ? Aug 12, 2019 23:27

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# ? May 29, 2024 10:05

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

i examine your disagreement fully and determine that i agree with your disagreement, as well as my previous statement

# ? Aug 12, 2019 23:34

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

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