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life is killing me posted:Any of you who are part-time daycare or no daycare—thoughts on going from full to part-time? We went from full- to part-time when our daughter was 2. We haven't noticed a difference with her learning, socialization, etc (she's almost 4 now). The one issue is that daycare will sometimes have events on a day our kids are home that they'll miss. But for something super interesting / important (like Muffins with Mom), they let us bring the kids in for the event to participate and then leave after. The reduction to part-time also coincided with my wife quitting her full-time job to focus on other pursuits. So while she does get 3 days to focus on that, the other 4 are filled with solo child watching, playdates, or weekend activities which can be exhausting to the point that she simply wants to rest during her 3 days "off." Juggling that is still something she's trying to work out.
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Aug 15, 2019 02:38
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I have two good friends who did no daycare with their kids, just occasional babysitting or help from grandparents. Their kids, now in preschool, seem totally normal and adjusted. They did do lots of play dates with other kids for socialization starting when the kids could interact. Even if you don’t know many people to do play dates with, there are always public parks or playrooms.
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Aug 15, 2019 03:01
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10 month old has had diarrhea for two days now. Daycare kicked her out today and she’s not allowed back until Friday. Took her to the doctor and made arrangements for my mother to watch her tomorrow because my husband works 3rd shift and sleeps during the day. I enjoy working and love my job and couldn’t stay at home full time without going nuts. But a major downside is employees where I work are not allowed to take unpaid days off (it can happen under certain circumstances but it’s rare). I don’t want to use FMLA for 1-2 days. Especially since I only have a week of it left. Just asking for some feel good vibes for tomorrow because I’m going to be a nervous wreck. Yes I realize my mother raised 3 children just fine. I’m just making myself crazy.
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Aug 15, 2019 04:27
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Good-Natured Filth posted:We went from full- to part-time when our daughter was 2. We haven't noticed a difference with her learning, socialization, etc (she's almost 4 now). We did the same, and switched day cares at the same time. The main difference was my daughter (2) liked the new school much better. The first time I dropped her off (after a month of Mom doing it) she was very insistent that I drop her off at the new school not the old school Daddy I don't like that school as much. Sorry sister bear, you always seemed to like it fine. 
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Aug 15, 2019 04:55
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My wife's six month maternity leave is over, so now my watch begins. I'm going to work part time Friday-Sunday and she's full time. My parents mostly work from home so they are going to do Fridays. I bought a project car to work on when the dude is napping/being chill.
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Aug 15, 2019 14:30
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When my leave is over in October we are going to try to do no daycare. I work straight 11pm-7:30am and my husband works 12pm-7pm. Occasionally the grandparents can watch her so I can sleep more than a few hours, but I’m going to be even more of a zombie than I already am. Honestly I’m pretty nervous that it’s not going to work. Plan B is my husband being a stay at home dad and me picking up more hours at work since childcare would cost nearly his entire paycheck.
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Aug 15, 2019 16:28
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Big Taint posted:My wife's six month maternity leave is over, so now my watch begins. I'm going to work part time Friday-Sunday and she's full time. My parents mostly work from home so they are going to do Fridays. I bought a project car to work on when the dude is napping/being chill. That’s what we’re doing right now. Wife had to go back so I’m staying home to watch 5-month old. This week really really sucks though bc the 3-year old’s school doesn’t start until next week so I’m watching both right now. I feel bad bc 3 year old is trying to be good, he’s just bored and I’m a bundle of nerves trying to get 5-month old used to bottles and naps without mom’s magical boobs. The rambling to internet strangers has helped a bit. Thanks goons.
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Aug 15, 2019 16:39
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Big Taint posted:My wife's six month maternity leave is over, so now my watch begins. I'm going to work part time Friday-Sunday and she's full time. My parents mostly work from home so they are going to do Fridays. I bought a project car to work on when the dude is napping/being chill. I watched, so, so much TV when my son was a baby and I was home with him. I burned through series after series when he was that age. Working on a car sounds so much more productive and fun, quite frankly.
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Aug 15, 2019 16:51
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Agent Burt Macklin posted:I watched, so, so much TV when my son was a baby and I was home with him. I burned through series after series when he was that age. Working on a car sounds so much more productive and fun, quite frankly. I blasted through all of game of thrones in about 2 weeks. And now he goes out of his way to look at the TV so I have to turn it off and actually be a father and play with him We're so loving tired. Our baby is only 6 months and just got his second tooth. He sleeps like poo poo to begin with, so now with the pain he's up every hour in the night screaming. Last night we got a bonus projectile vomit all over his crib at 3 in the morning too because some idiot (me) forgot to give him his acid reflux medicine before bed. Renegret fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Aug 15, 2019 |
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Aug 15, 2019 17:30
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Koivunen posted:When my leave is over in October we are going to try to do no daycare. I work straight 11pm-7:30am and my husband works 12pm-7pm. Occasionally the grandparents can watch her so I can sleep more than a few hours, but I’m going to be even more of a zombie than I already am. Honestly I’m pretty nervous that it’s not going to work. Plan B is my husband being a stay at home dad and me picking up more hours at work since childcare would cost nearly his entire paycheck. This is a pretty bad idea. I know the middle class is hosed in the States but yeah that's a bad plan
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Aug 15, 2019 18:02
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Good-Natured Filth posted:We went from full- to part-time when our daughter was 2. We haven't noticed a difference with her learning, socialization, etc (she's almost 4 now). I’ll get 3 days to run my business and 2 days to figure out how to keep my son occupied. That will be some work for sure. We haven’t decided to do this yet—my business has been struggling and frankly the budget smacked us in the face, so lots of things to re-evaluate. Having that extra money each week would be great. But, I want it to be great for my son, too. Koivunen posted:I have two good friends who did no daycare with their kids, just occasional babysitting or help from grandparents. Their kids, now in preschool, seem totally normal and adjusted. They did do lots of play dates with other kids for socialization starting when the kids could interact. Even if you don’t know many people to do play dates with, there are always public parks or playrooms. Yeah, play dates could be an option, but as a dad those options are limited. Not terribly common out here to have a dad taking any time off to spend the day with just him and his toddler. Public parks are a little less of an option because my son isn’t quite old enough for playgrounds yet and just letting him run amok at a park makes me nervous. There ARE a couple indoor playgrounds I could take him to, and I’d take him for ice cream too.
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Aug 15, 2019 18:13
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Koivunen posted:When my leave is over in October we are going to try to do no daycare. I work straight 11pm-7:30am and my husband works 12pm-7pm. Occasionally the grandparents can watch her so I can sleep more than a few hours, but I’m going to be even more of a zombie than I already am. Honestly I’m pretty nervous that it’s not going to work. Plan B is my husband being a stay at home dad and me picking up more hours at work since childcare would cost nearly his entire paycheck. Childcare eats up more than half of my paycheck. I had the choice to stay home. I chose to work because staying home was awful for me. My husband works 8pm to 4 am. Our daughter is in daycare while he sleeps. Sleep is important. We could pull it off where he sleeps in between feeding her / crying / whatever but then she’s basically doing what during the day? Nothing, just trapped in a pack n play or crib. It was a struggle at first to come to terms with half my paycheck being gone. But at the end of the day she’s getting a ton of socialization, fed, changed, and is happy. I get snuggles when I come home (husband picks her up after waking up) and we go to bed. In the morning I drop her off and have time to run errands baby free. It’s not a total loss. Just something to think about.
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Aug 15, 2019 18:19
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Big Taint posted:My wife's six month maternity leave is over, so now my watch begins. I'm going to work part time Friday-Sunday and she's full time. My parents mostly work from home so they are going to do Fridays. I bought a project car to work on when the dude is napping/being chill. I went on leave at six months, too. She started crawling around that time, and we put her on solids a week before so I could feed her more than just the bottle, which was all good. I thought, yeah, this will be the time to burn through some video games during naps, so I splurged on the Steam summer sale, but somehow two months later I find I've only gotten to the first big battle in Assassins' Creed Oddyssey and half way through Hollow Night, and most of the playing has been after bedtime. What I have done is a lot of laundry, cleaning, cooking, spoonfeeding and long walks with the pushchair... At least I blitzed through a podcast season or two while walking. What I mean is, I'm inefficient, I guess? Anyway, good luck with both projects! (And don't beat yourself up if the kid moves out before the car is finished...)
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Aug 15, 2019 19:06
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My husband has found that Darkest Dungeon is basically the best paternity leave video game because it’s always paused and constantly saves. Koivunen- sleep is really important, and being able to commute and perform your job safely is important. Being able to be awake and aware when taking care of your baby is also important. Your plan might work poorly as a short stopgap measure, but it doesn’t sound sustainable at all and may be frankly kind of dangerous.
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Aug 15, 2019 21:02
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My husband and I went back to school when our son was 3.5 months, it's okay NOW because he is currently sleeping okay but there was a while there where he woke up about a million times a night. Do not underestimate how your mental energy and therefore ability to function at work will degrade after successive nights of only a few hours sleep. It was possible for me to juggle the load of a demanding veterinary degree briefly and then it started to unravel and we had to call my mum in for support. Generally speaking I would err on the side of prioritising any sleep you can get without self-sabotage by only allotting yourself an extremely short sleep window even when baby is sleeping well. Particularly relevant for nursing - I found myself struggling a lot with attention to detail and for your own sanity you don't want to be haunting yourself (any more than you already do) that you've made a mistake because you've only had 3 hours sleep for the last x weeks.
Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Aug 15, 2019 |
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Aug 15, 2019 22:10
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There's 3 of us at work with babies and it's great when we have to collaborate. It always ends in a comedy of silly errors. I also work a job of little consequence so it's okay if I'm terrible at it.
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Aug 15, 2019 22:29
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Yeah my daughter was having nightly nightmares that destroyed our sleep for about a month, it was awful and I still haven't recovered a month later. Might be part of the reason I've been battling a uri all week.
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Aug 15, 2019 23:54
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Anyone else’s (early) toddlers coming home from daycare hangry? I’m talking like ~2hrs earlier than normal dinner time they are constantly crying until food is shoved in front of them? I don’t know if this is normal or not but I hope so, because otherwise I’m wondering if my kiddo is getting enough to eat there—he actually eats better and eats more at daycare than he does at home. e: turns out this time it wasn’t hunger, but the bad news is we have no loving idea why he’s pissed off right now, full-on poured lower lip crying. Like for apparently no reason life is killing me fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Aug 16, 2019 |
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Aug 16, 2019 23:12
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DangerZoneDelux posted:This is a pretty bad idea. I know the middle class is hosed in the States but yeah that's a bad plan I had friends do it for 2+ years and they are still alive, so it worked in that sense but their marriage and life outside of their child in general suffered... It feels like saying it that way is an understatement. It was incredibly hard for them. But it can be done. I'm so endlessly thankful to have friends in the childcare industry and super supportive family in our support system to make things affordable for us. Sometimes you do what needs to be done to get by.
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Aug 16, 2019 23:13
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Don’t do a schedule that leaves you literally only 4.5 hours per day to sleep
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Aug 17, 2019 04:45
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Yeah it’s definitely not ideal, but my husband’s hours are set and I’ve worked night shift for over five years so I’m used to functioning on not ideal sleep. With his strange start/end times, there isn’t a shift besides night that I could work without overlapping, and therefore needing childcare. Childcare here is crazy expensive and would take up all of his paycheck. We could afford to live on my paycheck alone, and I can pick up extra if we want to make any big purchases. My husband works full time. However I don’t work full time, and both our parents live close-ish and are retired and want to help with childcare. I should have included that with my original post. Probably half of my work days would be covered by grandparents so I could sleep more. I do want our daughter in childcare eventually, just not while she’s so little. I’d like her to be able to walk and interact with other kids first.
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Aug 17, 2019 16:56
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Under those circumstances, a stay-at-home dad sounds like a great plan to me! (I hope he wouldn't mind. I've found the first three months quite nice, and looking forward to three more.)
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Aug 17, 2019 18:16
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Grandma came over Thursday to watch my 10 month old because of diarrhea and I was nervous but it went well. Husband said he would be OK Friday because he doesn’t work that night. She would just be in her pack n play and he would sleep on the couch. Long story short: It did not go well. Had to call grandma to relieve him so he could go to sleep. She got there 45 min after I called at 2 pm. He was up for 24 hours because she wouldn’t let him sleep. But we are in the clear today. No more runny poop.
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Aug 17, 2019 20:02
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One thing that really surprised me about creche was how much the other kids go to interact with the littlies. My creche has an open doors policy and sometimes I pop up to see my son in breaks between class. He's in a room of infants to 2 year olds, and man some of those older kids reeeeeeeeaaaaaaally want to be big brothers and sisters. Even when he was only like 5 months old, if he was doing tummy time then this little 2yr old boy would go lie next to him and pat his back if he got fussy. Once when my son was really not enjoying tummy time this little kid called over another little girl and then lay on their tummies around my son and started singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to him. Freaking adorable. His teacher said basically the bigger kids get inquisitive when the little babies make noise, so they go over to the mat a lot to bring them toys, play with them, touch their hands etc and there have been lots of big wet kisses to the head.
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Aug 17, 2019 22:03
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Went to the community center today with baby (7 months) and mom to play in the pool. She loves baths so this was a nice step up. Tons of fun, will return and sign up for swimming lessons when she’s a bit older. Makes me livid that my city is slashing the parks budget and closing facilities like this. Everyone should have access.
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Aug 17, 2019 22:09
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Tamarillo posted:One thing that really surprised me about creche was how much the other kids go to interact with the littlies. My creche has an open doors policy and sometimes I pop up to see my son in breaks between class. He's in a room of infants to 2 year olds, and man some of those older kids reeeeeeeeaaaaaaally want to be big brothers and sisters. Even when he was only like 5 months old, if he was doing tummy time then this little 2yr old boy would go lie next to him and pat his back if he got fussy. Once when my son was really not enjoying tummy time this little kid called over another little girl and then lay on their tummies around my son and started singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to him. Freaking adorable. His teacher said basically the bigger kids get inquisitive when the little babies make noise, so they go over to the mat a lot to bring them toys, play with them, touch their hands etc and there have been lots of big wet kisses to the head. Oh that is too cute. Where I take my daughter there is a little girl that helps out with pacifiers for the little ones. If one is crying and their pacifier is on the boppy with them, she will pop it back in for them.  She's also the room greeter, whenever we come in she will say "HI BABY!!!" And start pulling out more toys. Also little ones can interact with each other too! My daughter was 6 months old and would roll over to her best buddy and they would talk to each other. Now that she crawls, she brings toys to the tiny babies during their tummy times. The place I take her to has an app and they send constant updates and pictures and video. The video of my daughter (8 months at the time) bringing a toy horse to a little tiny baby (probably about 12 weeks old) warms my heart. The effort of floor swimming over with that toy just to give it to him is just too cute.
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Aug 18, 2019 02:45
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life is killing me posted:I don’t know if this is normal or not but I hope so, because otherwise I’m wondering if my kiddo is getting enough to eat there—he actually eats better and eats more at daycare than he does at home. That matches my experience. I read somewhere that you should just feed your kids dinner at 4 or whatever if you can, because it fits their natural rhythm. Of course, I can't do that, but they tend to eat big afternoon snacks, usually fruit. As long as it's healthy I figure it's no loss.
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Aug 18, 2019 03:59
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life is killing me posted:Anyone else’s (early) toddlers coming home from daycare hangry? I’m talking like ~2hrs earlier than normal dinner time they are constantly crying until food is shoved in front of them? My daughter was like this too and I know she was eating plenty at daycare so I think it's fairly normal. I usually pick her up about 5 from daycare and she would be hungry for dinner right when we got home. My wife and I both work full time so it's usually another 30-45 minutes before we are able to have food ready. We started putting goldfish in the cupholders of my daughter's car seat and it helped a lot in pushing dinner out by a little bit since it gave her a light snack that would usually tide her over without spoiling her appetite. Gradually she got used to eating closer to 6.
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Aug 18, 2019 19:12
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I still give my daughter a light snack on getting home from school, otherwise she can't concentrate on homework (she's 6). Fruit or a slice of bread usually.
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Aug 19, 2019 01:37
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BarbarianElephant posted:I still give my daughter a light snack on getting home from school, otherwise she can't concentrate on homework (she's 6). Fruit or a slice of bread usually. She has homework at 6??
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Aug 19, 2019 02:04
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PerniciousKnid posted:That matches my experience. I read somewhere that you should just feed your kids dinner at 4 or whatever if you can, because it fits their natural rhythm. Of course, I can't do that, but they tend to eat big afternoon snacks, usually fruit. As long as it's healthy I figure it's no loss. Sometimes he’s still at daycare at 4. Usually when we pick him up at or after that time he’s eating a snack when we get there, and is still hangry at home, sometimes sucking down two pouches pretty quickly. He will suck down one and start wailing when it’s finished. It’s either he’s hangry or just being a moody toddler. Flying Zamboni posted:My daughter was like this too and I know she was eating plenty at daycare so I think it's fairly normal. I usually pick her up about 5 from daycare and she would be hungry for dinner right when we got home. My wife and I both work full time so it's usually another 30-45 minutes before we are able to have food ready. BarbarianElephant posted:I still give my daughter a light snack on getting home from school, otherwise she can't concentrate on homework (she's 6). Fruit or a slice of bread usually. Yeah we are doing this. More goldfish end up all over the floor and he stomps or walks on them (or we do) than end up in his mouth, but he will eat pouches too and still act hangry.
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Aug 19, 2019 02:37
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sheri posted:She has homework at 6?? My 6 year old has homework in 1st grade. Its not every day. Its due on Friday. He has spelling, reading (he bring little books home he has to read and we sign a paper) and math. The math they have him do is really interesting and as a professor, its encouraging they're teaching them critical thinking that early. I hope they stick with it. His assignment last week was taking data and making a table out of it and answering questions about the data.
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Aug 19, 2019 10:35
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Pretty sure quite a few schools have tried the no homework policy only to have parents get upset and demand it.
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Aug 19, 2019 12:56
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I'm just upset that we've started kindergarten and I have to get my kid up just before sunrise to get her ready on time. School drop-off is between 7-7:30. Why the gently caress does a 5 year old need to be at school so early? I'm pretty sure school hours are still holdovers from when the kids were already up from milking the cows or collecting chicken eggs or whatever the gently caress. Goddamn I'm tired. And we have a newborn. So playing "don't wake the baby goddamnit!" every morning is fun.
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Aug 19, 2019 13:19
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Alterian posted:My 6 year old has homework in 1st grade. Its not every day. Its due on Friday. He has spelling, reading (he bring little books home he has to read and we sign a paper) and math. The math they have him do is really interesting and as a professor, its encouraging they're teaching them critical thinking that early. I hope they stick with it. His assignment last week was taking data and making a table out of it and answering questions about the data. Isn’t it getting harder and harder to help him with his Keynesian economics homework? In all seriousness to me homework at that age is bonkers, but at least this is a good way to require it.
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Aug 19, 2019 13:22
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I couldn't imagine homework until actual school, which is 7 usually here. My kids are turning 6 in a few weeks and just started in preschool, though given their concentration issues they might get two years of preschool before they go on to 1st grade. We're gonna go over it again next spring with their teachers and therapists and see how well they have advanced. They've biked to preschool every day for two weeks now, that's 2.1km one way every day. Think it does them a lot of good, they really got over that hurdle of not wanting to ride a bicycle fast. Go to sleep easier in evenings too I think. Though next week my SO goes back to school and it'll be longer days from there on, from 9-13 to 7:30-16:30 and I'll bring them by car then. Hoping they'll be mature enough when they are ready for school that they can go and get back on their own.
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Aug 19, 2019 13:24
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My son's schools "homework" for K-2 grades is to make sure you are reading to your child or they to you. I honestly don't know if I'd do other stuff for homework. If he wanted to, sure, but I can't see myself forcing a 6 yr old to do stuff like that if it was a struggle, especially since it's shown to not be any benefit at that young of an age.
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Aug 19, 2019 13:51
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BonoMan posted:I'm just upset that we've started kindergarten and I have to get my kid up just before sunrise to get her ready on time. School drop-off is between 7-7:30. My second-grader's school has both a 3-year-old and a 4-year-old preschool. There were three reasons my now-4-year-old didn't go there last year: 1) couldn't afford it 2) he wasn't potty-trained 3) getting both a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old to school by 7:30? no As it happens, the 4-year-old in question is going to preschool where his brother did, not at his brother's current school, for two reasons: 1) can't afford the other one 2) getting both a 7-year-old and a 4-year-old to school by 7:30? no
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Aug 19, 2019 14:22
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I really just think kids that age need a respite from school, that’s when evenings and weekends matter to them because they AREN’T at school. Giving them homework so early seems to only serve to help keep their minds on something that isn’t being a kid, during their only time each day where they shouldn’t have to keep focused on school. I mean, honestly, homework can be a good thing, but why rush to it? Kid’s only been alive 6 years so far, he/she doesn’t have to be a Rhodes scholar before they are 10. There’s plenty of time for them to have homework later on in their lives, literally YEARS of school and learning ahead of them. JFC can these schools pump the brakes a bit?
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Aug 19, 2019 14:35
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sheri posted:My son's schools "homework" for K-2 grades is to make sure you are reading to your child or they to you. I really wish that was the case in my daughter's school, trying to get her to do homework is a real power struggle. They give way too much, and it started at 5 not 6.
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Aug 19, 2019 14:52
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