|
My situation is a bit different, since my son wasn't able to reliably get to bathroom instead of going in his pants until he was just about eight, due to a combination of his disabilities and bathroom trauma (bowel blockage leading to cycling diarrhea and constipation). So we switched to pull ups when he was simply just too big for normal diapers.
|
#
?
Sep 1, 2019 22:22
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 12, 2024 07:03 |
|
|
Our daycare potty trains the kids (and does an amazing job of it) and they have a super strict no pullups rule. I need to ask why.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 00:33
|
|
|
i could imagine there's a strong physical muscle memory thing between pulling up underwear, it would make the dichotomy more readily apparent that You're Not In Nappies Anymore, Kiddo. Also, oh god. Oh, oh god. Cluster feeding. This kid spends approximately 23 hours a day stuck to a tit. He sleep feeds for durations of time that the pedatrician found unbelievable. "Surely your jaw would get tired after 2 hours nursing?" NOPE. 20 minutes after a feed the kid is cramming fists into his mouth and eyeing the whole room for Mama.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 01:21
|
|
|
BonoMan posted:Our daycare potty trains the kids (and does an amazing job of it) and they have a super strict no pullups rule. I need to ask why. Pull-ups are just fancy diapers. They feel like diapers to your kid so you can’t expect them to not pee/poop in them like they’ve been doing in diapers all along. A lot of potty training guidelines suggest ditching diapers altogether and going naked/commando/underwear. They need to be able to feel an accident (and you need to be able to see it).
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 01:30
|
|
|
Hi_Bears posted:Pull-ups are just fancy diapers. They feel like diapers to your kid so you can’t expect them to not pee/poop in them like they’ve been doing in diapers all along. A lot of potty training guidelines suggest ditching diapers altogether and going naked/commando/underwear. They need to be able to feel an accident (and you need to be able to see it). That makes sense. That's basically what they do. Just ask you to bring tons of change of panties/underwear and do it like that.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 01:38
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:Also, oh god. Oh, oh god. Cluster feeding. This kid spends approximately 23 hours a day stuck to a tit. He sleep feeds for durations of time that the pedatrician found unbelievable. "Surely your jaw would get tired after 2 hours nursing?" NOPE. 20 minutes after a feed the kid is cramming fists into his mouth and eyeing the whole room for Mama. Ah, I see you have a newborn
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 02:27
|
|
|
Hi_Bears posted:Pull-ups are just fancy diapers. They feel like diapers to your kid so you can’t expect them to not pee/poop in them like they’ve been doing in diapers all along. A lot of potty training guidelines suggest ditching diapers altogether and going naked/commando/underwear. They need to be able to feel an accident (and you need to be able to see it). On the other hand some kids freak out when they feel the wetness and consequently hold their pee until they physically can't, and the resulting abdominal cramps convince them that peeing is the problem, not the refusal to pee / denial of need to pee. Pullups made it so my older son could get in the habit of going to the bathroom regularly, without "oh no my underwear is wet the world has ended!" leading to bladder pain. (That said, I suspect if he had been being potty-trained at daycare it might have been different.)
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 02:35
|
|
|
Flipflopping daily on whether to go for a third. Missus doing the same, so neither of us firm enough yet to make the yes or no call. Financially we'd be able to manage fine, I feel like we've got the space and time for another - on the other hand I guess it would be nice to have my life back at some point and there's enough goddamn people on this planet already. Our two girls are 2.5yrs and 9mo, Mrs. Zok is nearing the end of her childbearing years so if we're going to go for it we should act soon. Anyone got advice they'd want to impart from either fork of the road? I've had older (one divorced) fathers tell me "stop at two" in a manner evoking shellshock.. but I'd hate to think in years to come that we missed out on knowing another little person 
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 08:02
|
|
|
We decided to stop at 2 because I wasnt comfortable converting man to man coverage into a zone defense. If you want more kids and can provide for more, I don't see why not 🤷 It's not like you're gonna go full Duggar and rapid fire out 14.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 08:16
|
|
|
Eh, we've got four kids (oldest is 11, youngest almost one and a half). I'll say go for it, the biggest difference with going from two to three is you'll always be outnumbered.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 09:50
|
|
|
I'm finally starting to make leeway in getting my wife to at least consider stopping at 1. My reasoning is, this loving sucks and I don't want to do it again. e: I bounced out of my own labor day party last night. Had a backyard full of people and I just hosed off upstairs and went to bed at 7PM. I slept like poo poo anyway, because the little one decided that 1AM was the perfect time to get up and play, and I couldn't get him back to sleep til 3. Renegret fucked around with this message at 13:43 on Sep 2, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 13:38
|
|
|
Chadzok posted:I'd hate to think in years to come that we missed out on knowing another little person If you have this feeling then I think in your heart you want another. The majority of people don’t regret having more once the kid’s here, so it seems like the lower risk/regret decision to go for it.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 14:35
|
|
|
My kid’s skin is always doing something and I feel terrible. She was getting white cheesy stuff in her armpits even though I clean them out every day. At first the advice nurse told us to use lotrimin, but that didn’t really stop the problem. The doctor at her 2 month suggested it could just be dead skin from rubbing and suggested aquaphor. So I’ve tried that and it hasn’t really helped either. She got a weird rash on her chest and the doctor said it was eczema so now I’ve had to put a steroid on her for the last week. Now her neck folds and elbow folds are red and shiny, which has me worried it’s a yeast infection, but it’s honestly starting to seem like baby skin issues are just a crapshoot. I feel awful looking at it. I spend so much time trying to take care of her and keep her clean and for what?
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 15:22
|
|
|
Renegret posted:I'm finally starting to make leeway in getting my wife to at least consider stopping at 1. Oh it absolutely does suck for a while. Getting twins for the second go round was rough, I’m glad we had as much help as we did. Counterpoint, they will have someone to play with. Now that the boys are two, the oldest is turning in to a really good big sister. They were all playing together really well while I got breakfast together this morning. We can get poo poo done around the house because they all play with each other/themselves now.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 15:38
|
|
|
A Game of Chess posted:She got a weird rash on her chest and the doctor said it was eczema so now I’ve had to put a steroid on her for the last week. not a doctor obviously but if babby has eczema, it can manifest in those folds because of the extra heat/humidity that accumulates there. If I had to guess it's all part of the same thing. Eczema is not limited to one location on your body, and when you have a breakout it can affect several places at once. As a kid I got it on my inner elbow/knees, an adolescent I got it on my hands, and as an adult it affects my wrists, face, and right inner elbow. We're dealing with something similar right now. The little one has daddy's lovely skin and is getting what sounds like the same rash on his ankle folds and his right leg as your kiddo. We have some cream the doctor gave us, and he doesn't wear anything that covers his ankles during the day to help it stay dry. It's helped, but it's still there.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 15:50
|
|
|
You know, I didn't even consider that. When I had bad eczema it was only on my feet, nowhere else. I was afraid to even try to use the steroid cream on other areas, because if it did happen to be yeast that would make it a lot worse. I've been alternately trying to keep it moisturized (in case it was from rubbing) and keep it dry, but it seems like no matter what I do the neck folds are kind of damp and very red. Poor kid not only got my crappy skin but the fact that as a baby most of my weight was in my neck. I go back to work tomorrow so taking her for appointments is going to be difficult considering I have no vacation time left.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 16:15
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:Also, oh god. Oh, oh god. Cluster feeding. This kid spends approximately 23 hours a day stuck to a tit. He sleep feeds for durations of time that the pedatrician found unbelievable. "Surely your jaw would get tired after 2 hours nursing?" NOPE. 20 minutes after a feed the kid is cramming fists into his mouth and eyeing the whole room for Mama. Ah, you got one of those. Welcome to the club. You're in your first week still, right? We had some poor luck with that phase, I hope you don't suffer the same. We were told in the maternity ward that "she'll release the tit once she falls asleep and isn't eating anymore". Cue our baby suckling for 4 hours straight, in the small hours of the morning. We finally figured out, too late, that she was not actually hungry anymore, but just suckling for comfort after feeding. Anyway, the net result after a few nights of that poo poo was that my wife got sores, which got infected on one side, which led to massive mastitis. Lots of pain, the highest fever she ever had, antibiotics and yes, you still have to feed her on the bleeding nipple otherwise the mastitis will get worse... Could all have been avoided if we had figured out earlier that she needed a pacifier to sleep soundly. They advise against using one for the first few weeks until the breastfeeding is working properly, which I'm sure is the right advice to give unless you want a lot of underfed babies. It's one of those typical parenting things where you get good advice from professional people, yet it just doesn't apply to your particular kid because gently caress you, kids are not predictable and yours is weird.  Note: I'm not saying you should use a pacifier, I have no idea if your baby would actually suckle enough to get the milk going if you did. Better listen to the professionals. Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Sep 2, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 19:06
|
|
|
I think the no pacifiers until established breastfeeding advice is outdated and I’m so sorry your wife went through that nightmare. I stuck a pacifier in my kids’ mouths on the first day in the hospital. Same with introducing bottles, better to do it earlier so they don’t reject them. Nipple confusion is a lie.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 20:31
|
|
|
I got so much poo poo from someone I know that asked to see a picture of my baby and the most recent picture had a pacifier. This was when my daughter was only 3 months old. She told me how awful it was and I was ruining her mouth and I needed to find a better way to soothe her. I was giving up and being lazy because I didn’t want to take the time to stop her from crying.  I found out 3 months ago this woman’s 4 year old still has a pacifier. gently caress her for projecting onto me her own insecurities of her own mothering.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 20:45
|
|
|
For our latest kid, the lactation specialist told us the same thing... No paci until latch was established. The doctor came in (separately) and said while he had to technically to tell us that. All four of his kids had pacis from day one and it never impacted anything. I mean I guess I can see the thoughts behind it... But as far as I know I haven't seen any real science behind it
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 20:52
|
|
|
Between the pacifier advice and the short term memory thing mentioned earlier in the page, I am sure that we at some relatively recent point regretted not having introduced her to a pacifier I cannot remember when, why or whether that was important.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 21:03
|
|
|
I really liked the book Cribsheet because the author liked to look at the studies where these things come from (if they exist). It was a pretty relaxing read to be honest, because a lot of these ‘don’t do [x] you will ruin your child!’ things are based on laughably small sets, have razor thin margins of benefit, or are just plain archaic rules. Don’t fret over using a pacifier (or the ‘right’ pacifier). Don’t beat yourself up if you want/have to use formula. Except do put your baby to sleep on its back that is actually a pretty big deal. Recommended if you want a book that isn’t just quietly shaming you for something.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 21:13
|
|
|
I remember the tales of pacifiers was that they’d cause speech impediments, oral fixations and delays in speech. All that seems like fear mongering designed to push parents toward more “natural” methods, like never sleeping and extreme depression.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 21:23
|
|
|
I tried my hardest to get both my kids to like pacifiers, but they never took to them.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 21:40
|
|
|
A multipart post: 1.) Interestingly neither of my two kids have taken a pacifier. They just don't like 'em. Sucks to not be able to soothe that way, but the non-weening payoff has been ok I guess. 2.) Skin stuff. Jesus we are just constantly knee deep in skin stuff. a.) Staph. Our girl got staph a few years ago, when she was 18 months old. We didn't know what it was, so it got bad enough to need hospitalization (it was just in a bad location near her vagina and rectum). Then at like 3.5/4 she got bullous impetigo. Then 2 months ago a pretty standard boil on her butt and then a week ago a small scratch on her face started to get staph. We've managed to keep them all contained and I guess 4 infections over 5 years isn't the worse, but gently caress it does do a number with my anxiety. I feel like I have to monitor every tiny scratch. And now with an almost 3 month old we're killing ourselves being uber careful. b.) Molluscum contagiosum - dear god gently caress Molluscum. Our girl contracted it via daycare about a year ago. Started as a small little wart like lesion. Now has spread all over her truck and upper legs. It's generally harmless and our pediatrician isn't alarmed, but you have to be careful about spreading it and making sure the bumps don't get a secondary infection (good thing she's got staph issues!). Oh and it can last years. We're almost 12 months into I think. Pediatrician said she's seen cases as long as 4 years (although that's not common). 3.) Behavioral stuff. Our 5 year old has a new baby brother and just started kindergarten so the acting out is pretty severe right now, but we're not sure what's normal. She does well at school and is super smart so at least she's not acting out there, but at home it's constant whining and oppositional/defiant to literally every. single. thing. big. or. small. Everything. We're hoping it's a phase but timeout and other "punishments" don't seem to work. And honestly we're both just utterly loving gassed by having two kids with medical stuff (3 month old boy has stomach issues that we're making progress on but he basically still cluster feeds) that it's hard for us to feel like we can strategically approach anything.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 22:02
|
|
|
BonoMan posted:
I had this while I was on active duty in the navy from wearing clinic scrubs. They were not getting washed properly (after this whole ordeal I have no idea if they made the company change how they were being laundered but anywho thats a different story). After months of suffering and finally a biopsy to tell us it was that molluscum contagiosum (sounds like a Harry Potter spell), the way I got rid of it fast was washing the area every day with hibiclens (it was my upper thighs) and washing everything in color safe bleach. So I would take “clean” scrubs home and wash them and only wear those.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 22:25
|
|
|
BonoMan, those skin issues sound awful. I’m gonna be super paranoid now and keeping an eye on things. We are sending her to daycare next week and the principal already sent around an email about one of the infants having pinkeye last month. 
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2019 22:34
|
|
|
We got the "no pacifier" advice too, but pretty much from day 2 it was the only way to soothe her when a boob was not present, and it didn't seem to interfere with her latching. At 8 months, a pacifier is still the best way to put her to sleep as long as she's already relatively calm. We particularly became fans of the Wubbanubs line of stuffed animal pacifiers because they were much easier to hold onto.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 00:08
|
|
|
The hospital told us no pacifiers until 8ish weeks or when breastfeeding was well established but they also gave us two pacifiers so...
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 00:11
|
|
|
hospitals know the reality of their advice; it's best if it works for you, but do what you have to to survive those first months.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 00:42
|
|
|
My son still had a nice layer of womb goo when he got his first pacifier. He started refusing them around 4 months and dropped them entirely by 6 months. Its never once interferred with nursing and if anything, I'm bummed he never took to them as an adequate hanging off my tit substitute.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 00:51
|
|
|
Pacifiers are like a big boogey man. They aren't going to interfere with nursing in the vast majority of cases.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 00:55
|
|
|
My wife is hands-down the expert both in the medical and "community of family-having friends" sense but I've relayed your personal stories and anecdotes to her for consideration re: when we start pacifying. We're up to a full week now and she's finally started getting a hang on pumping, so I'm going to start taking the occasional night feeding to allow her to sleep a few extra hours. Course now I'm starting up a new term which includes a weekly 4-hour grammar lesson so I'M SURE THERE WILL BE NO REPERCUSSIONS AT ALL. edit- the general consensus is we all get to worry a lot less about being strict on timed feedings once the dude passes 6 pounds.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 01:15
|
|
|
Oh yea we only used pacifiers for a month or two and then they switched to sucking their fingers (we encouraged this). It’s great for self soothing. Will worry about the dental bills later.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 03:20
|
|
|
My baby was on the boob constantly for the first week until my milk came in. Then she cluster fed for up to six hours at a time for the next month. Pumping so my husband could take a night feeding saved my sanity. Around 3.5 months we had a night routine established so I could do 100% of the feedings day and night, and pump in the morning to have some in case I wanted to run errands or have a beer with friends. However, we are 4.5 months in and I still don’t get more than three hours of sleep at a time. I got tricked a few weeks ago with a couple nights of five hour stretches, but then the four month sleep regression hit me like a train. We decided not to use pacifiers only because it could become something we’d have to wean off of eventually, and I’d rather deal with crying and no sleep while she is tiny and I’m not sleeping anyway, rather than having to face that challenge in the future. It is proven that babies who use pacifiers beyond six months are more prone to ear infections. I never had a pacifier as a kid but had horrible ear infections, so anything I can do to prevent that for her, I’m going to do.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 03:30
|
|
|
Hi_Bears posted:Oh yea we only used pacifiers for a month or two and then they switched to sucking their fingers (we encouraged this). It’s great for self soothing. Will worry about the dental bills later. Oh man I'd much rather have the pacifier then fingers! You can eventually take the pacifier away to get them off of it when you need to. Can't take their fingers away!
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 04:19
|
|
|
I have tried to limit my second to using pacifier at sleep time rather than as a cure-all, which had worked well so far for him. Our first had it all the time until age 3.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 04:22
|
|
|
Hi_Bears posted:Nipple confusion is a lie. I have such a disdain for lactation consultants. We really wanted to breast feed but it just didn't work. The baby never latched from the very beginning, and from the 3 very short latches we did manage, he got no food. One lactation got all up in our poo poo because we gave a bottle to the baby ~ 16 hours after he was born. gently caress you lady, I guess you'd rather see my kid starve rather than get a bottle. From then on she blamed nipple confusion for all of our problems, even though we had those problems from the very beginning. We spoke to 4 different lactation consultants and none of them refused to even entertain the idea that breast feeding just wasn't meant to be. One consultant even had the gall to blame me for not being supportive enough. Despite religious pumping, we never got more than 2oz of milk combined between both boobs, even after 3 months. It just wasn't meant to be. The only thing those lactation consultants accomplished was shaming my wife into feeling like a bad mom for being physically unable to breast feed, even though both the baby and her body wanted nothing to do with it. We had 3 separate doctors try to convince my wife to just give up. Our primary pediatrician said "Those people have no grounding in in reality" regarding her own staff and it really stuck with me. Some of the consultants were dead set on blaming nipple confusion, but our baby hates everything. He's 7 months now and never took a pacifier, and every bottle is still a battle if he's awake through it. I think he just hate sucking on things in general. A friend of ours is a pediatrician and she regularly refuses to release children from the hospital because the parents are dead set on breast feeding, and the kid is continues to lose weight. A coworker's daughter lost 18% of her body weight in the hospital before someone gave her a bottle. That pisses me the hell off, it should never have gotten that bad. I had a problem to begin with that my kid lost 8% of his body weight in the hospital before we made a parental decision to give him a bottle, and nurses actually got mad at us.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 12:49
|
|
|
cailleask posted:Like most baby things, it'll pass one way or the other (and sooner than you think). I hope you're right! I'll try to power through it. Some changes work fine so all hope is not lost. Thanks to everyone who chimed in regarding diaper change hurricanes.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 12:52
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 12, 2024 07:03 |
|
|
Louisgod posted:I remember the tales of pacifiers was that they’d cause speech impediments, oral fixations and delays in speech. All that seems like fear mongering designed to push parents toward more “natural” methods, like never sleeping and extreme depression. now the running theory is that they only cause problems if they're still used when the kid's a toddler and starting to actually develop speech. Which is a good time to ween them off anyway so I wouldn't worry about it. I really wish our kid took a pacifier at this point. Our nights have been absolutely horrible because the only soothing that works is picking the baby up and rocking him, which is absolutely miserable to do in the middle of the night. We're trying to break it and are having very little progress. I was up 3 times between 10AM and 12AM last night. At midnight, I tried giving him a bottle thinking he was hungry, but he completely refused it. He'd be fine in my arms, but the second his body touched the crib he'd start screaming bloody murder. Suddenly it was 2AM and I found myself waking up, sitting on the couch still holding him. At that point I managed to put him back in his crib, where he slept a grand total of 45 minutes before the whole cycle repeated and my wife took over. I have the weirdest baby. He hates eating and sleeping.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2019 13:12
|
|