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So this year has been fun, challenging and wacky for me so far. I am currently without internet, except when I'm at work. I've been focusing on rewatches and stuff I mostly don't even remember buying but somehow ended up on my shelf. 1. The Witch (4K Blu Rewatch) 4/5 The Witch is still one of my favorite horror movies of the last few years and I was looking forward to seeing the 4K version of it. The oppressive sense of paranoia just feels so pervasive from the first frames. The washed-out grey tone of the movie combines well with the time-frame and setting of the movie to make everything feel so hopeless. Even if you disregard the actual events of the film, removing all horror, the isolated life of this family just feels so lonely and miserable. Also, I need Ralph Ineson to growl and grumble his way through some Audiobooks or something. I could listen to that dude sound irritated all day. 2. Zombieland (4K Blu Rewatch) 3/5 I haven't seen Zombieland since it was originally in theaters, but I remembered liking it. I wanted to return to it with the sequel coming out. Now, I'm not sure how I feel about the sequel being made and I certainly sit squarely in the stance that it definitely didn't need one, but it's a horror movie. I'm basically obligated to go see it. Zombieland itself remains a pretty fun flick even if I don't think I like it as much as I did when I was younger. The humor (mostly) holds up and the entire movie feels pretty breezy. If I noticed anything new it's that no one really seems to be playing anyone. Jesse Eisenberg is playing stuttering, awkward Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson feels like he's playing a louder version of himself, Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin are playing average people with no discernible unique traits. Obviously these are supposed to be normal folks during the zombie apocalypse, but I realized why I remembered "the list," some of the jokes, Bill Murrary, etc, but very little about the actual four main characters. 3. Chillerama 2.5/5 Oh hey, here's one of those that showed up in my home and I have no memory of purchasing it. I'd also never heard of it prior to throwing it in the PS4 for a watch. Chillerama is an anthology Horror/Comedy of sorts. Strong, strong Troma vibes are all over this flick, with one of the main characters even being named Cecil Kaufman. It's dumb, it's juvenile, it's over-the-top. Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin and Tim Sullivan direct features with a wraparound story of the last night of an old drive-in before it closes permanently. The concept and wrapper are actually pretty good and, to my knowledge, original. Then segment #1, titled "Wadzilla" starts, where you have a giant mutated sperm attacking New York. Overall, the entire film was a little too juvenile and dumb for my tastes, but I won't say it didn't have some solid laughs here and there. If anything, the segment, "The Diary of Anne Frankenstein," where Joel David Moore, playing Hitler, screams in not-at-all German, made me laugh - partially because it was genuinely funny and partially out of embarrassment by proxy. Some of it's bad, some of it's offensive, some of it's shocking and some of it's pretty drat funny.
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Oct 6, 2019 13:25
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10)Alucarda Scream Stream  Movie goes from 0-60 in no time flat and stays fully accelerated basically until the end. It's pretty bonkers, and by the midway point you;ll be asking how things could possibly be topped, but they do it. Fun solid flick, and I'm sure there will be a rush of write ups with more clever things than I can say with only 1 cup of coffee in me  /5
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Oct 6, 2019 14:10
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7. Near Dark dir. Kathryn Bigelow 1987 Why the hell is this movie not like a really big deal? Why did I have to sign up for a free week of... Flix Flang... to watch this? It's a neo-Western vampire flick from a strong if not incosistent director with a great cast. It has a very original take on vampires--vampires are much more fragile and human than most movies present them as. Third act spoiler but vampirism isn't even permanent which is one aspect I did have problems with. But it's a pretty sexy movie at times without every being tawdry. There are two great set pieces that really utilize the vampires in the film being a bit weaker: Vampires attacking a bar and a great standoff with the vampires and the cops. The sort of sexual predator element of vampires is played up in pretty creepy ways. One of the vampires is a kid which allows him to be kind of played up as a child predator towards the end of the film in a way that is clear, but not really exploitive to the child actors. It's a really, really fun movie. I'd argue it's better than The Lost Boys. 4/5
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Oct 6, 2019 14:40
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#11: 28 Weeks Later rewatch. But I hadn't seen it since it first came out so all I remembered was the helicopter slicing up the zombies  Generally I think that second guessing the survival strategies of people in zombie movies is just dumb wankery. "Oh, you would've found a Wal-Mart and holed up in there instead of whatever the characters did? Great thanks, good criticism there, Seth" But in the case of 28 Weeks Later, the scheme they're operating on is so dumb, and all the problems flow directly from how dumb it is, that I'm gonna do it. Don't start resettling Britain with London! It's a loving warren of high-rises and subways, it would take forever to clear out. It would be months before they had every building within walking distance from the Green Zone cleared out. Which is what causes all the problems in the movie, there's a building within walking distance of the Green Zone that they didn't have cleared yet. How did they even clear the Green Zone in the first place? Where are all their vehicles? Is there even a place in the Green Zone where they can land the helicopter at ground level, or did they really just use high rise roofs? Where did the troops sleep before they the buildings were cleared? Did they have tents set up in the street, with zero sight lines? You start with loving Broadchurch. Clear Broadchurch, you can have clear all the buildings for miles around, have plenty of space to set up tents and store materiel and so on. The entire movie wouldn't have happened if they hadn't decided to set up in the center of downtown London. But, as I was watching I figured that starting in London did have one really big benefit; it would be very easy to control an outbreak. If everyone is inside big hotels and office buildings, all those buildings have electronic locks that can be controlled remotely. An infected person shows up, you lock all the doors, problem solved. Movie over. They even establish early on that the guy has a key card that can lock all the doors from any key card scanner. So when an infected shows up, is that what they do? Just use the established ability to lock down the buildings and stop the infection from spreading? Of course not! The "Code Red" procedure, their established protocol for dealing with an infected person, the thing they have planned in advance, is to herd everybody into one room and turn all the lights off. I swear to god. It would be possible to overlook that if the other parts of the movie were good. But they aren't. The characters are terrible. Troop, Troop Doctor, Child, and Other Child. The dad actually has an emotion, he's guilty about leaving his wife, which could've led to an entertaining arc where he later has to not leave someone. But he dies halfway through. And even though he dies halfway through I guess they didn't want him to be a "bad" guy so the reason he left his wife is 100% understandable and he did nothing wrong. There was a zombie literally between them! If he had done anything other than ran, he would've been eaten by zombies. There's another thing that really stood out to me and it was weird that none of the characters commented on it. There was an extremely limited number of zombies. There was like 200 people in the Green Zone. And not everybody who gets attacked by a zombie becomes a zombie, a lot are just killed. So between the zombie attack, the military massacre, the firebombing, the helicopter which slices up like 30 zombies all in one go, and finally the poison gas, there's gotta be like a half dozen zombies, max, left by the end of the movie. There was no real reason for the people to flee to France. The crisis was over. They could've just radioed in, "Hey we're still alive. Please don't murder us" and the guys back at the carrier or whatever that ordered the gassing and dispatched the Black Hawk probably would've been like, OK. All that said, 28 Weeks Later is not a terrible movie to watch. None of the plot holds up to the most basic scrutiny, but there's action and it moves fast enough to never get really boring. There's plenty of way better zombie action movies out there, the straight-to-DVD video game spinoff Resident Evil Vendetta I watched earlier this month being a great example, but it's not unpleasant to watch. So that's my review. 28 Weeks Later: It's not unpleasant to watch
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Oct 6, 2019 14:57
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#8) Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell (1974) Finally, the last film in my binge of Hammer Horror Frankenstein movies. This one may be the most competent and engaging of all the sequels, even though there are some very odd choices. In this film, Frankenstein finally has no constraints, and is given more or less free reign to perform his experiments. And so he decided to create... a bigfoot? Practically nothing he sets out to do actually works the way he wants, which I think actually works in the film's favor. Frankenstein is a washed up lunatic by this point in the series. The makeup/special effects are better than previous movies, I'll give it that. All in all, not a bad low key Sunday morning thing to watch. 3/5
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Oct 6, 2019 15:22
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 11. Braindead (1992) DVD It...it's beautiful. Taking the baby to a park was the highlight of cinema and I won't hear otherwise. Watched - 1. Get My Gun (2017), 2. The Last Man on Earth (1964), 3. It Stains the Sands Red (2016), 4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), 5. Errementari: The Blacksmith and the Devil (2017) *Current Favorite*, 6. Halloween (1978), 7. One Cut of the Dead (2017), 8. Phamtasm II (1988), 9. Ramekin (2018), 10. Les Affamés (2017), 11. Braindead (1992) Decade - 1920s, 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s (I), 1970s (II), 1980s (I), 1990s (I), 2000s, 2010s (VI) Black & White:Color - 1:10 By Country - Canada (I), Japan (I), 'Murica (VII), New Zealand (I), Spain (I) New:Rewatch - 8:3
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Oct 6, 2019 15:31
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#10: Joker (2019) When this movie was first announced I rolled my eyes so hard. Why the hell would you make an origin story about a villain whose origin is intentionally obscure? DC movies haven't exactly had the best track record in the post-Nolan era, so I figured this thing was going to flop from the start. But then they cast Joaquin Pheonix, started leaking images and information revealing the retro aesthetic (grunge late 70's/early 80's) and asserted itself as a character study in mental illness. It was clear from the trailers that it was going to try and be a Film with a capitol F and not just a comic book movie. While it turns out to be better than I thought it had any right to be, it falls short of being the Oscar-worthy masterpiece initial buzz was making it out to be. It wants so badly to have something to say, and outside of the central performance from Pheonix (which I do think is incredible) it really is a case of all pomp and very little substance. I read an interview with Pheonix and Todd Phillips last week where they tried to defend the movie from making Arthur Fleck seem like a sympathetic antihero. They said something to the effect of "we're not trying to empathize with Arthur, we're trying to understand him." I'm sorry but I have to call bullshit, this movie absolutely tries to make Arthur come off as a sad, sympathetic man who is constantly kicked down by a society and system that doesn't care about or want him. Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with that, but call it what it is. There are TONS of shocking moments, and a lot of dark humor I thought the gun falling out of his pants in the children's hospital was awkwardly hilarious, and overall a lot of things I really liked. Although I'm not super enamored with the implication that Arthur is Bruce Wayne's half brother, which I would outright hate if it weren't left as an intentionally ambiguous question mark But ultimately (and I'm borrowing a quote from the ScreenStalker podcast that I think sums up my feelings here) this is a 5-star performance inside of a 3-star movie. It tries so hard to be "Taxi Driver" and "The King of Comedy" but fails to say anything meaningful other than "Man, isn't that sad?" Joaquin is excellent and it's totally a worthwhile movie to watch, but don't expect the Oscar-sweeping game-changer initial buzz made it out to be. Also, the toxic discourse around this movie is stupid. There are far more violent movies that try to sympathize horrible people that have come out this year ("3 From Hell") and after all the hype of how "dangerous" this movie is supposed to be, it's pretty tame by comparison. 3.5/5 Watched: Midsommar; One Cut of the Dead; Apostle; Wolf Creek; Lake Mungo; Viy (Challenge #1); Demon Knight; Witchfinder General; Razorback; Joker Total: 10
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Oct 6, 2019 15:56
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I've been traveling for work this week and generally running around nonstop. But that doesn't mean I didn't have a hotel room to go back to and watch horror movies all night (especially since I tend to have trouble falling asleep in hotel rooms). Hillbillys in a Haunted House (1967) dir. Jean Yarbrough This is one of those titles that has always stuck in my head ever since I first saw it named on the IMDb Bottom 100 more than a decade ago. And I'll be darned, this one is pretty fun! It's probably predicated on an appreciation for classic country western music (hello, Merle) but this is a rather charming, low-budget horror comedy with a fun cast and some actual genuine laughs. The jamboree at the end goes on for a tad too long, and it's a real syrupy backlot production, but I was genuinely charmed. John Carradine, Basil Rathborne, and Lon Chaney Jr. are all here as well cashing paychecks and looking as if they're questioning where they went wrong in life, but they also get haunted by some spooky ghosts. Recommended viewing.  Age of Demons (1993) dir. Damon Foster Lo-fi VHS parody film full of white dudes trying to show off their kung fu skills, punk performances, Satanic sacrifices, and the titular demon. Lots of cheap jokes, though its juvenile sense of humor is undone by a title card warning the viewer that it may be distasteful but is "not intended to offend." Still it's got a Z-grade charm and at about 75 minutes doesn't wear out its welcome. Watch for the demon zapping people in half with lightning bolts.  Tigers Are Not Afraid (2017) dir. Issa Lopez My first in-theater viewing for this month. Genuinely tragic and deeply saddening right out the gate, but a totally fantastical and empathetic look into Mexico's drug wars. The Guerillmo Del Toro comparisons are apt and the largely child cast is fantastic. The ghosts are frightening, but it's a soulful film, one coming from a place of true agony and loss.  Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) dir. John McNaughton I had always put this one off as the way people talk about it I expected Salo or Cannibal Holocaust levels of gore and misery. Perhaps it's just that time and growing exposure to violent media has led this one to lose its grotesquerie, but the violence was fairly standard -- though the home invasion scene is still immensely upsetting. Nevertheless, just as a film Henry is phenomenal -- from the disembodied camerawork floating over the corpses of Henry's victims, to the grimy switch to janky home video, to the stark and distant still shot of its final scenes. Rooker is phenomenal, as is the rest of the cast. Poor Becky, but if Henry hadn't killed her in the end we'd be left thinking he was a hero. His complete lack of humanity needs to be underlined through that final moment. Perhaps, like Becky, we want to project emotions and empathy onto Henry. We're impressed by his apparent sense of morality when Otis advances on his sister, and in a sense we're left wondering what it's all about if Henry has no more sense for her autonomy than he does the women he murders in Otis' car. Maybe Henry himself doesn't quite know or understand, instinctively growing a sense of right and wrong before losing it again when faced with the reality of life on the lam.  Audition (1999) dir. Takashi Miike Another that I had put off for obvious reasons, although this one delivered on the visceral grotesquery of its reputation. Was watching that climax through my fingers at certain points (needles are among the few things that really get to me, though maybe the sound effect of the piano wire was the worst). Love how Miike plays with gender roles and sexism here, and I didn't expect it to get quite so surreal and avant-garde. Overall, great flick, would watch again.  The House of the Dead (1978) dir. Sharron Miller Also known as Alien Zone, a title that makes zero sense for this movie that features no aliens. I don't know why but I've never been big on anthology features -- even Creepshow doesn't really do much for me. Perhaps its the inherent trope-iness of the shorts, relying too much on simple premises that don't ever really satisfy. My favorite here is probably the first, with the teacher being terrorized by an unseen home invader. It's the reveal and the visual experimentation with negatives and blurring color that delivers a real ending worth remembering. The static camerawork of the serial killer in the second segment is a good idea, though flatly acted (I think this premises could be truly horrifying if the directors and actors committed to drawing out the murders, otherwise it's hammy). It did make me long for a sort of David Holzman's Diary but horror. The third segment with the two inspectors was maybe the hokiest and its twist was too predictable to still work on reveal. I did like the last segment however, with an rear end in a top hat office drone lured into a trap in an abandoned building, terrorized by an unseen force and ultimately fed alcohol until his psyche is left in ruins. Watched: Let's Scare Jessica to Death; Tales from the Quadead Zone; Mikadroid: Robokill Beneath Disco Club Layla; The Nest of the Cuckoo Birds; Hillbillys in a Haunted House; Age of Demons; Tigers Are Not Afraid; Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer; Audition; The House of the Dead Total: 10
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Oct 6, 2019 16:03
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Slasherday: 6) Hell Night Stock standard slasher with almost all of the cliches except for one decent twist towards the end. Unfortunately it spends at least 25 minutes of its run-time spinning its wheels and there's not a single memorable kill. Linda Blair is adequate as the final girl but she's got such a baby face and it's so recognizable that she was doomed to forever be Regan. 2/5 7) Amsterdamned This movie is an absolute blast. Maybe one or two chase sequences too long, and definitely one child actor too many (not especially precocious or annoying, her inclusion just adds nothing to the film). I'm stunned that the opening scene hasn't found its way more into the horror movie canon because, much like the film itself, it's gory and weird while still having a good sense of humor about itself. With the over the top-ness of the killer and the leveled up sleaze of the cop, they have to be sending up giallo at least a little bit and I'm here for it. 4/5 1) One Cut of the Dead 2) Castle Freak 3) The Void 4) Knife + Heart 5) Spookies 6) Hell Night 7) Amsterdamned
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Oct 6, 2019 16:09
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7. Cure (1997) Super Samhain Challenge #1: The Best Month "...watch a qualifying film that's been a CineD Movie of the Month that is new to you!" A detective investigates a series of bizarre and seemingly random murders where the killers all cut an "X" across the throat of their victims. His investigations lead him to a strange man, apparently with amnesia, who seems connected to all the murderers, and who appears to be a master hypnotist. To me, this felt like a cross between a police procedural and a Japanese version of a giallo. It was quite compelling (hah) with the way it slowly unfolded the plot and revealed more and more of what was going on, but without any dramatic stings or overdone revelatory shots. Part of the way it does this is with its sound - there's very little mood music in the film, just the ambient sound of the scenes, which sometimes seems to have been deliberately heightened for dramatic effect and tension (especially if you know enough about hypnotism to know that certain repetitive sounds can be used to lull someone into a trance). The subplot with the detective's wife is a bit of a red herring, I think, as I thought it was going to lead into the main plot somehow but it didn't, but aside from that I was very caught up in the film. 8. Ravenous/Les Affamés (2017)  There's a zombie apocalypse in Quebec, and we follow several survivors as they try to survive against the zombies. Here's another film that doesn't have much in the way of mood music and instead uses its ambient sound to great effect. Also, it doesn't have all that much in the way of dialogue either, as most of the survivors don't have all that much to say to each other unless it's plans to escape/avoid the zombies or doctor jokes. There are some things left unexplained, such as what exactly the zombies are doing, but that's largely unimportant in the great scheme of things. It's the atmosphere that's important here. Also contains a case of Chekov's Accordion. 9. Dead Snow/Død snø (2009)  Five medical students on Easter break head to a cabin in the mountains and find themselves besieged by Nazi zombies looking for their long-lost gold. The movie is clearly one of those labours of love for the director, as well as a love letter to horror movies in general with some of its setpiece action scenes and deaths, and it's a fun enough movie. On the other hand, virtually none of the characters are particularly likeable (no matter how hard you try, you're not going to get the audience to empathise with someone who thinks smothering his girlfriend with a pillow is a good joke), which makes it difficult to engage with the film much beyond a shallow, horror-slapstick level. 10. Alucarda (1977)  Teenage girls Alucarda and Justine meet at the convent where they live and form an... "obsessive" friendship. Then they meet some of the world's most stereotypical Romani, sell their souls to Satan and become demonically possessed. This film contains a lot of frolicking. This film is 85 minutes long, and you'd better believe that the filmmakers didn't waste a single minute of it. From the moment Alucarda and Justine meet we get to see how obsessive and strange Alucarda is, demanding blood and death pacts after they've known each other for only an hour. Then they meet the Romani while "frolicking", and soon after that it's naked Satanic orgy time. Meanwhile, the nuns at the convent walk around in habits that look like they've been wrapped in slices of raw bacon and flagellate themselves nightly. By the end of the film, people are on fire, falling down stairs in slow-motion, and everyone is screaming. This film has to be seen to be believed. Also, despite what the title might lead you to believe, there are no vampires in this film. 11. What We Do In The Shadows (2014)  A New Zealand documentary crew follow around a group of vampires as they prepare for their community's annual event, The Unholy Masquerade, and learn about their lives and the lives of those around them. This film really is a joy to watch, no matter how many times you've seen it before. It uses the mockumentary style brilliantly, with interviews with the vampires (hah again) throughout, and capturing their day-to-day lives, which are not nearly as glamorous as they (or we) might have believed. Add in things like their interactions with the local werewolf pack ("Remember, we're werewolves, not swearwolves.") and the crowning display of awesomeness that is Stu, this really is a brilliant film. New: (7); Jacob's Ladder; Dead Ringers; Prom Night (1980); Exists; Cure (1997); Ravenous (2017); Alucarda (1977) Rewatched: (4); Exorcist III; Halloween (2018); Dead Snow (2009); What We Do In The Shadows (2014)
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Oct 6, 2019 16:21
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 #39) Halloweentown (1998) Cute little story with a couple of details that I can't imagine would appear in a modern Disney Channel movie. The main boy looks and acts like a young Rick Moranis, Judith Hoag was almost unrecognizable as the mom, and Debbie Reynolds is a lot of fun as the witch grandmother. Production values are higher than those of an Air Buddies movie, but still show cheaping out in spots (those brooms!). A bit too much of the movie is spent on fetch quests, but it's an easy way to show off more of the town and its inhabitants, so whatever. The tension is kept low, the villain is enjoyably hammy, and the family dynamics are endearing, so it all comes together as a decent Halloween season family movie. Not as good as Addams Family or Hocus Pocus, but for a TV movie, not too shabby. "Hey look, a pentagram!" rating: 5/10
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Oct 6, 2019 16:34
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 #6. Scream 2 (1997) (Rewatch) The sequel to Scream. A serial killer targets the survior of the original while she is at college. I was never a fan of any of the Screams. I saw them all when they came out and had revisited the first, thrid, and fourth as they were on Netflix. This popped up last night, so I gave it a ago again. Well, to its beneift, its better than the third, but thats not a high bar to cross. It feels like a rush job to capitalize on the success of the first with Jamie Kennedy being the only source of "meta" commentary.
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Oct 6, 2019 17:43
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#9: One Cut of the Dead (2017) Everyone else was right, this is excellent. They're also all right that it's best to go into it without knowing much about it, so I'm hesitant to say too much. I'm gonna throw some spoiler tags below, but please don't read 'em unless you've already seen the movie! The bait and switch going into this was so fun and charming! I knew there was going to be some sort of "twist" because everyone was saying you should avoid too much info about it going in, but I legitimately wasn't able to guess where everything was heading, and I'm so glad that was the case. Once the in-movie credits rolled and things jumped back in time a month I "got" that it was going to be a making of, but I absolutely wasn't prepared for how charming and funny it would all be, or how it would all come together. I was laughing the entire last act. Seeing all the little oddities of the original short start to pay off and make sense was wonderful, and I loved the way the movie made me really get to love all the characters by the time it was over, even if I hated them just 15 minutes earlier. It's just super good. Also interesting that the film was inspired by a play. I was looking into it a bit and apparently there was minor controversy when this first came out because it didn't acknowledge that inspiration, and the play's director and the movie's director couldn't agree on whether or not this was actually an adaptation. I'd be willing to bet that there's significant differences between the two properties, but the concept itself is also pretty novel so I can absolutely get the play director's frustration. I'd be super curious to see the play but it seems like that'd probably be impossible given that it looks to have only put on by a single Japanese troupe for a short amount of time. Watched (9/31): #1 Gozu (2003), #2 Spider Baby or, the Maddest Story Ever Told (1967), #3 Viy (1967), #4 Mondo Cane (1962), #5 Dark Water (2002), #6 Blood and Black Lace (1964), #7 Daughters of Darkness (1971), #8 Sliders of Ghost Town: Origins (2016), #9 One Cut of the Dead (2017) Challenges (1/1):
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Oct 6, 2019 17:59
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 #40) The Craft (1996) Woof, this one does not match up to my middle school nostalgia. And knowing how Rachel True's been treated in connection with conventions and reunions for it certainly doesn't cast it in any better light. Skeet Ulrich really lets his skeeze show; weird to think that this was the same year as Scream, which directed that energy to so much more impact. Fairuza Balk is acting through her teeth in a number of scenes, but brings the most life to her role, and her status as a style icon is undeniable. Neve Campbell puts in a good Ally Sheedy imitation, but Robin Tunney gives such a bland performance that it drags down her shared scenes. Cliff De Young does a good job as the unaware dad, though he gets very little screen time. And then there's the shock of Breckin Meyer playing a skater goof in a mid-'90s movie! Then again, I can't think of another movie that even tries to do the story of teen girls finding power through a coven (without casting it entirely in an negative light), so it does have that going for it. And the water-walking scene did give me goosebumps. Pretty good soundtrack as well, though the complete absence of Nine Inch Nails from an ostensibly gothy '90s movie is weird, to say the least. Had it come out a couple years later, they'd have had to pretend Marilyn Manson didn't exist, which might have been even more amusing. At least a Siouxsie and the Banshees song showed up. My biggest problem with the movie is probably just how simplistically the problems and solutions in the girls' lives are presented. It skips about them in such a superficial way that the emotion they show ends up feeling wildly exaggerated, when playing a more natural vibe against the supernatural powers could have made for something much more compelling. Considering the time it came out, I guess it's lucky it turned out as well as it did, though. Definitely a mixed bag, but I'm glad it exists. rating: 6/10
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Oct 6, 2019 18:18
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October 6 - Memorial Valley Massacre a.k.a. Memorial Day a.k.a. Son of Sleepaway Camp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kDyaLKS6zU[No trailer exists for this one] Okay, going in there's zero chance that Memorial Valley Massacre is going to be good. It's transparently an even lower budget Friday the Thirteenth knock-off. Yet there was still a chance that it could be unintentionally entertaining. This is a late 80's direct to video feature complete with Cameron Mitchell as the evil land developer. There's a bunch of campers in what is definitely the mountains around Los Angeles for the opening weekend of the sleep away camp. One is the son of the developer and he's there to work on the camp which isn't ready yet. And there's a feral kid running around the pack of stereotypical 80's characters with an axe. So is this movie so bad it's good? Fifteen minutes in some people call for help because there's snakes on their food. Cut to about a dozen garter snakes squirming on a picnic table with sandwiches. "Those a poisonous!" so someone grabs a shovel and starts gently "pounding" the snakes into the food. Yeah, I think it clears the so bad it's good thresh hold. This movie is packed with incompetent film making, but it's never dull. With some very light editing it would be perfect MST3K fodder, though one of my favorite moments includes a woman in a see-through top and it would be a shame to lose a bear lazily shoving its head into a tent to interrupt the start of a sex scene. Speaking of, the Son of Sleepaway Camp version apparently got a Caligula-style cut where the producers edited in some porn to pad the running time. The version I saw just had some boobs and  style sex scenes (replace goon faces with various trained animals and a cave person). I can't say I felt like I was missing out, though.I'd love to describe how much of a mess this movie is but in a way I feel like this it's more fun to discover it. A whole lot of "Wait, what?!" kind of things, particularly with the caveboy who is both primitive and skilled with modern equipment depending on which scene he's in. I was mildly disappointed that the feral ecoterrorist's cave wasn't the Bronson Canyon cave. I will say that for those people looking for a Friday the Thirteenth gore experience, this movie doesn't throw a lot of blood around. The kills, even with knives and axes and other sharp implements are relatively bloodless. This is a pretty low effort movie all around with a couple of minor exceptions like the large cast of victims (about 20 campers only) and one scene where you know the majority of the budget went into it. In conclusion, Memorial Valley Massacre is a good movie to laugh at. There's even a few beats where I think they might be intentional comedy. It was charmingly absurd in the cheesiest way.
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Oct 6, 2019 18:48
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5. The Borderlands / Last Prayer I thought this was a decent entry into the found footage genre. I didn't feel like there was anything really ground breaking (except the final scene) but it used all of the the familiar devices of the genre really effectively. I appreciated the fact that the characters had a job which gave them a legitimate reason to be filming and a reason to continue sticking around after the average person would have probably noped out of the situation. I remember years ago while attending mass that a priest mentioned that there is actually a group of priests who whose job is to debunk miracles. I guess that was what this team was supposed to be but I wasn't exactly clear if they were supposed to be actual priests, or just contractors for the Vatican. No one seemed to be pious or even really a believer and there were several comments that they made about church doctrine that made me want to go  I guess in a similar manner someone in the the army would groan when the military is depicted in a movie.
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Oct 6, 2019 19:17
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#9) 3 From Hell (2019) Someone here once posted that every movie Rob Zombie's ever made is just a remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and I think that's apt. As his career goes on, that seems clearer and clearer. 3 From Hell is basically TCM2 in the desert. Where he works best is in the uncomfortable, bleak, dark humor of depravity - the kind of nervous chuckles that you can only get when you're truly scared and worried about what's coming. His entire oeuvre is a throwback to 70s grindhouse cinema, only cranked up to 11. After all, what shocked people in the 70s just doesn't make people bat an eye anymore. For example, in its time, The Exorcist was considered "the scariest movie ever made," and yet nowadays it'll show on cable TV in the middle of a Sunday. Filmmakers are having to constantly push the envelope to make something truly emotionally effective. Zombie is an above-average filmmaker who has unfortunately put out some very average films, but I think the Firefly trilogy is his master work. This doesn't quite live up to the master class in hard-to-watch horror that The Devil's Rejects is, but it's a fine conclusion to the trilogy. It's just a shame there wasn't more Sid Haig, may he rest in peace. 4/5
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Oct 6, 2019 19:25
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Behind Maslow posted:
This is on my rewatch list for the month (I think I have it scheduled for Tuesday), and I always go back and forth on it. There are times when I think it's brilliant, and there are times when I think it's incredibly sloppy. The hasty on-set rewrites of the third act stick out like a sore thumb, though.
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Oct 6, 2019 19:31
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#5: Phenomena (1985) Watched on Prime Wow this movie is an interesting mess. Argento does his thing for nearly two hours, and had this been edited down to 80-90 minutes, I think we'd have a much better movie on our hands. I know this was released as a trimmed down American cut as Creepers, but as I haven't seen both, I'm not sure if that solves the running time problems or rather just ameliorates them. For the good, we have Donald Pleasence, Jennifer Connolly in her 2nd role (a little dreamily muted, but that likely was the direction given), a ripping soundtrack with Goblin and Iron Maiden, Inga the helper Chimp, and what might be the most ridiculously over-the-top final half-hour I could have hoped for. Everytime the 3rd act escalates, expect it to double down within the next 3-4 minutes. Sadly, the rest of the movie does not contain the same manic propulsion. It drags for more or less the entire first half, the plot is largely nonsense, and on the whole looks far less striking than any of the Argento bests. At best we have some visceral visuals, but largely lacks the artistry of things like Suspiria. I have to recommend this on the strength of the ending, but with a hearty warning regarding everything that precedes it. /5Watched: 1. From Beyond 2. Evil Dead 3. Phantasm 4. Candyman 5. Phenomena
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Oct 6, 2019 19:40
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#1) Tigers Are Not Afraid (2017, first watch) This was a gorgeous little movie, and the Guillermo del Toro comparisons are very apt. It manages to be simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking, and I don't think it would have been nearly as successful a film had the director not found some incredibly capable child actors. She manages to mesh fantasy and "realistic" horror very well -- neither half of the equation overpowered the other. SFX worked well. 5 snuggly tiger dolls out of 5 #2) Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986, rewatch) The most important thing to realize going into TCM2 is that it in no way tries to be a retread of the first TCM. Where #1 had buckets of atmosphere and very little blood, #2 ramps everything up in what I can only describe as a very "mid-80s slasher" sort of way. It's still a nightmarish movie in that everything feels just a little too technicolor and loud and surreal, but where the humor in the first one is generally played as bone-dry the sequel definitely attempts to throw in some laughs. Some of which hit the target, some of which fail. The crown jewel of the movie is Dennis Hopper absolutely gorging himself on scenery as "Lefty" Enright, as a former Texas Ranger out for revenge on the family that killed his nephew and put his niece in a coma. His dialogue is less "talking" and more "loud proclamations." If you felt that the biggest flaw in TCM1 was a lack of a chainsaw duel, this would be the sequel for you. 4 Lords of the Harvest out of 5 #3) A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984, rewatch) The one that started the franchise. I hadn't revisited this one in a lot of years, so I felt like I was going into it relatively fresh. The biggest thing that struck me was how...[i[toned down[/i] the humor aspect is compared to the later sequels. The Freddy character sticks in the memory the most as a villain that absolutely will drop a few wisecracks before killing you, but in the original I feel like he was presented as more of a straight-up monster with a few one-liners. You can definitely see the potential in Englund's portrayal of the character. Speaking of that, the bulk of the cast does an excellent job, with John Saxon (as Nancy's father) being really the only well-known actor. I do take some issue with the fact that Nancy's mom's face never actually appears to move, but it's a minor concern. Tons of gorgeous practical special effects that hold up 35 years later. 4.5 Johnny Depp geysers out of 5 #4)Train to Busan (2016, first watch) Ok, I slept on this one entirely too long, even with the tons of praise it's gotten. This was just a straight-up fun zombie flick. While it occasionally delves a little into scenery-chewing, the cast did a great job of fleshing their characters out without, for the most part, wasting time on a back-story. I *loved* the way the zombies were handled as far as their movements go -- it added a slightly different element of body horror to the mix. It's also one of those films that isn't afraid to kill off characters, and to keep you guessing as to who will or will not survive. 5 baseball bats out of 5 #5) In the Tall Grass (2019, first watch) A movie based on a novella by Stephen King and Joe Hill? Sign me up! Oh, it's a Netflix Original? That tempers my excitement a bit. The fact that they could make a movie about cannibalism, incest, weird-rear end rocks, semisentient grass, some loving with time and physics, a bowling alley, and Patrick Wilson doing his best this boring is a testament to it, I suppose. The most I could summon up for this movie was "meh." And a general sense of dissatisfaction bordering on annoyance when it was finally over. It felt like a paper-thin plot stretched over some arty camera and SFX work all amounting to a wet fart. Very little is actually explained, but I didn't feel like it left me wanting more or wanting to talk about the movie with my partner when we finished it. I think we looked at each other and said something along the lines of "Well, that was pointless." The only positive I can really give it is that Patrick Wilson does his usual fantastic job at being creepy. And the sound design was well-done 1 weird-rear end Jesus rock out of 5
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Oct 6, 2019 20:17
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I love how Phenomena will have rockin music for mundane scenes. Iron Maiden blaring as our hero fishes for a key is memorable. And what is with the whole controlling-insects sub-plot that seems like it is going to be important, but really isn’t, and could have probably be removed entirely Actually, I just love that whole movie.
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Oct 6, 2019 20:20
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I think Scream 2 is a really good sequel with the original cast and ideas, and a really bad sequel with the new cast and elements. They had a decent sequel with no ending and a generic knockoff with no purpose and just mashed them together or something.
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Oct 6, 2019 20:25
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So this year I am going back and revisiting horror I watched as a child. I will only be reviewing these movies using two word. 1. Vampire Hunter D Hot Garbage.
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Oct 6, 2019 20:28
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 #41) The Thing from Another World (1951), a.k.a., Thing Man, what a title screen. I don't remember where I saw it pointed out (probably RLM or Cinemassacre), but this movie is chock-full of doors being opened and closed. Don't want to try and nail a specific metaphor to it, but there's plenty of fuel to do so. Maybe more than anything else, I loved how natural the speaking was, particularly for this time in film. People were interrupting each other, talking over each other, mumbling, pausing and restarting their sentences, but always so cleanly handled as to show it was intentional. I couldn't help but approach this with comparison to Carpenter's remake, and in that regard, it holds up strongly, though I was a little disappointed at how late in the film the action emerges. Lots of pokes at military mentality, and some earnest sci-fi philosophizing, with the bonus of the other characters reacting to it as normal people would. Kind of wish they'd gone with a more alien appearance for the creature, but considering how well those tended to work out for other '50s films, it's probably best that they didn't. I also hope there's more depth to the role of the sole woman character than I picked up in this first watch. But for all those nitpicks, this really is a great movie, and one I'm looking forward to revisiting. rating: 8/10
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Oct 6, 2019 20:43
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5. Freaks Tod Browning ruined his career in order to bring us this story, and while it's way more melodrama than horror, it sure as hell shocked and disturbed audiences in the thirties (and this was arguably part of the point.) Viewed from a modern perspective, it's remarkably naturalistic- for so much of the running time Browning just lets the sideshow people be themselves. I particularly enjoyed the scenes revolving around the conjoined twin sisters' differing tastes in men- it's not even treated as a major problem, they just sorta work around it. The main drawback to the entire film is that Harry and Daisy Earles just are not strong actors- they really struggle with all the dialogue they've been given, not managing much in the way of intonation. (Granted I'm not sure how many little people you could find in those days with much screen training- though the Earlses were also pretty well known.) Between them and the femme fatale with a strong Russian accent, there are a few scenes where I'm not entirely sure what anyone said. Also, Johnny Eck really shoulda gotten more to do because he does have a strong screen presence. Maybe if they rewrote the story to be about a legless man. Anyway, the climax does kinda sensationalize the sideshow people a bit, but it's also some of Browning's stronger work in the sound era, all thunder and lightning and mud and rain. A shame he had so much trouble because of this. (It's also weird to me that MGM released this- it'd be like Disney now putting out a Cronenberg film.)
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Oct 6, 2019 21:17
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Darthemed posted:
I have always loved that ad.
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Oct 6, 2019 21:45
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8. Blood Diner dir. Jackie Kong 1987 It's a pseudo-sequel to Blood Feast about two brothers who run a vegetarian cafe and are also trying to bring alive an evil ancient god by slaughtering people, cooking people, serving people, and also making a Goddess Frankenstein monster. All of this is led by the brain of their uncle in a jar. This is a nasty and grimey rear end movie. The editing is very shoddy with action often not being clear. The movie is an American production, but you would think it's Italian with the weird ADR and hodgepodge of accents. It's very Troma-esque in its sense of humor (Lots of vomit and Hitler outfits). And similarly, has tons of gore. A lot of it is pretty basic, but there are some good practical effects including some good vagina dentata imagery and a person having their head being deep fried into a giant donut hole. The whole final set piece is just bizarre in a pretty fun way. It also just has weird little features like a rival diner operated by a crazy owner and his full sized cowboy dummy that he speaks to with ventriloquism. It adds to the charm, but also means that the movie feels a bit over-stuffed and thusly longer than it actually is. It's okay, but I think Motel Hell is a better alternative. 2/5
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Oct 6, 2019 22:01
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 #42) The Thing (1982) This was my first time watching this with surround sound, and it helped bring the score's relentlessness out in force, along with the background howling wind. This movie has such a clever way to get the audience on the side of the alien (unwittingly) right at the start. And having an entire instance of the movie take place before it actually starts is such a cool and well-handled idea. Now that I've seen the original, I'm impressed as hell at how many touches and allusions to it Carpenter managed to include without making them feel jammed-in or fan-service-y. My only regret is that there's no mention of carrots. That, and I do think the film would have more punch on first-time viewers if it didn't have the UFO shot in the opening. J&B! Kurt Russell's snow hat! Wilford Brimley's freak-out is golden, and good grief, those props and the FX work are amazing. And the starkness of the computer's projection and explanation of what the thing will do is chilling. Such a strong sense of distrust and fear, maintained so steadily, right to the last shot. Reading the Wikipedia section of how this was received at the time of its release is kind of appalling. Leave it to Ebert to claim that this movie offered nothing original. I might have to follow this with a rewatch of Leviathan, just for comparison's sake. I'm pretty sure this is considered one of the horror viewing essentials in the main thread, but if you happen to be taking part in this thread and haven't seen it, please add it to your roster for this month. "Cheating bitch." rating: 9/10Random Stranger posted:I have always loved that ad. 
Darthemed fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Oct 6, 2019 |
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Oct 6, 2019 22:39
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8. Attack The Block 2011 | dir. Joe Cornish Rewatch. I showed this one at my Spooky Night for my friends. It went off with a bang. Funny how Joe Cornish manages to introduce the main characters as villains while still making you root for them as soon as the aliens show up. Great pacing, great sense of humor, wonderful casting and acting. Just an excellent alien invasion flick. Highly Recommended. 9. Don't Go In The Woods 1981 | dir. James Brian A z-grade slasher trying to cash in on Friday the 13th's success? The editing is jarring, the film is mostly aimless, and the barrage of kills doesn't do much to improve things. Avoid. 10. Body Snatchers 1993 | dir. Abel Farrera Easily my favorite adaptation of the Body Snatchers story. Incredibly paranoid. Great cast, great aesthetic. The creature effects are slimy and cool. Highly Recommended. Movies Watched: Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom | Annihilation | Evil Bong 2 | Overlord | Dead of Night | The Ruins | Under Wraps | Attack The Block | Don't Go In The Woods | Body Snatchers Rewatches: 2 Total: 10 Edgar Wright's 100 Favorite Horror: 2/20 Super Samhain Challenge: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Oct 7, 2019 |
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Oct 6, 2019 22:48
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 Your Sweet Body To Kill I like this summary so much.. quote:Tells the story of a husband who wants to kill his unfaithful wife.He has many murderous fantasies in which he murders her.After the disposal of her beautiful dead body our hero looses incriminating suitcase.It's time to get the crime evidence back Yes, "our hero". This movie starts strong with our main lead fantasizing throwing his wife off a bridge and other lethal ventures. Lots of dark humor and lots of sexism, as you come to expect with these. I was really enjoying it until we get to the airport. At this point, the movie becomes a 'Mixed Up Luggage At The Airport" trope. There is no comedy here, however, and it is just dull and drags on. The end brings the movie back home, and ends on a humorous note , but after suffering though the luggage fiasco, I wanted it to just be over. This move could really benefit from some editing. The luggage thing does serve more than just padding time, but these issues could have been dealt in some other way. Overall enjoyable. /5The Legend Of the 7 Golden Vampires I'll save you the poster, since I'm sure you all seen it. This is a movie I've seen in pieces several times over, but never from start to finish. I may get flack for this, but it seems like it should have been better. It doesn't commit to the top-tier, HK bonkers (such as Miracle Fighters or even thread favorite, The Boxers Omen) . This movie tries to strike a balance that will satisfy fans of both horror and kung-fu, but seems to short-change both and leave us with something that is good, but not remarkable. Props to the vampire make-up which is unique, and the goofy eyes really added a special touch. I think I enjoyed this more when it was background filler, or when coming in late from a night out and needing something to unwind /5Seen; Stepfather 2, Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, House Of Dracula, Murder Mansion, Curse Of The Mummy's Tomb, Your Sweet Body To Kill, Legend of 7 Golden Vampires Dr.Caligari fucked around with this message at 22:55 on Oct 6, 2019 |
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Oct 6, 2019 22:52
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#12: Resident Evil Degeneration I was pleasantly surprised when Resident Evil Vendetta turned out to be a solid standalone horror action movie. So I thought I'd go back and check out the first straight-to-DVD CGI Resident Evil movie, Resident Evil Degeneration. Would it live up to Vendetta's standard? No. It's not terrible, but it is kinda dumb. The plot is that a guy who lost his family in Raccoon City decided to get even by engineering a T-Virus outbreak to discredit a different pharmaceutical corporation. There's a bioresearch lab with a foolproof security system; in event of a breach it falls one sector at a time into a bottomless pit. Leon escapes falling with it by doing parkour. Fun dumb, but still dumb. Resident Evil Degeneration also expects you to be at least a little familiar with the Resident Evil series. It's basically a sequel to Resident Evil 2, and if you don't know what Tyrants are you're gonna be pretty loving confused when one shows up. The CGI is also a lot worse than in Vendetta. Which is fair, since it came out in 2008. But faces and hair look fake and for some reason the shoulders are weird. People move their shoulders weird. If you watch the movie, keep an eye on the shoulders, it's hosed. All that being said, I did enjoy it. Resident Evil Degeneration is dumb fun for Resident Evil fans. If that sounds good to you give it a try. If not, stay away.
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Oct 6, 2019 23:11
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Also, how many fuckin organizations have these people belonged to? STARS, BSAA, FBC, TerraSave, working directly for the President, the resume of a Resident Evil character has to be as long as a Game of Thrones book.
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Oct 6, 2019 23:15
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11)In the Tall Grass Netflix  I haven't read the original novella, so I don't know if this is a problem with the adaptation or with the story, but the whole thing seems underbaked, splitting the difference between why things are happening, the rules, and the characters and relationships. As a result both suffer. I wish it had stayed focused on the characters ala The Iron Rose, or the mythology, like say Coherence. It's not bad, but I expected better  .5/5
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Oct 6, 2019 23:22
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Sareini posted:7. Cure (1997) I don't know if I'd call it a red herring - it doesn't tie in directly but it has some parallels. His wife's symptoms are very similar to how both the hypnotized people and Mamiya act - she'll do something while totally lucid (like read the book) and then later have no memory of it, or forget simple things like where she is and what she's doing.
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Oct 6, 2019 23:28
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Viy (1967, Shudder)SUPER SAMHAIN CHALLENGE 1: The Best Month This was pretty good. A young priest is tasked with watching over a dead witch in a small, remote church. I found it pretty slow at first but it was at least somewhat interesting as it showed some hypocrisy from the religious class. It’s also interesting seeing a Soviet film from this era. It’s a huge blind spot for me. The cinematography was crisp and I really liked the landscape shots. The last ten minutes of this film are absolutely incredible and memorable and make this worth watching on its own. Mandy (2018, Shudder) This is the film that CineD has been in love with since it came out last year and I finally sat down to watch it and I just didn’t like it. The cinematography and lighting just didn’t appeal to me and distracted from everything. It has Nic Cage being Nic Cage but even that couldn’t get me into this. Into the Tall Grass (2019, Netflix) This is the newest Stephen King adaptation. There’s a field of tall grass theatres will lure people in but won’t let them out. It’s an intriguing concept but the execution wasn’t that great. It felt really long and there’s way too much shots of the grass. It just seemed like a 60 minute movie stretched into a 90 minute movie. I did like the cinematography and Patrick Wilson was good but this is definitely not anything worth watching. Street Trash (2017, Shudder) This is sleazy in a way that kind of works. The homeless get sold a toxic drink and chaos ensues. It feels like a troma film with a slightly higher budget. It’s a very sleazy movie and if someone were to shut it off midway I definitely wouldn’t blame them - it’s a pretty sexist and racist movie and there’s scenes that can definitely trigger people. It has incredible special effects though, and the set design is really good. It’s acting is all really over the top and I felt it benefitted this movie. I probably wouldn’t recommend this to anyone unless I knew they were a SA goon. Watched (11): Brightburn, Tales from the Hood, Pet Semetary 2, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, One Cut of the Dead, Leatherface (1990), Summer of 84, Viy, Mandy, In the Tall Grass, Street Trash Samhain Challenges: 1. The Best Month - Viy
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Oct 6, 2019 23:49
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 12. Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943) Blu-ray I like this more than I like this, if that makes any sense. The wolfman plot is rather good. Tons of cool miniatures solid olde tyme effects, fun music, belligerent villagers, bobbies walking a beat in soaked rain capes, and general seasonal fun. Shame the Frankenstein family/monster bit sucks and the ending is the most half-assed of the series to this point. But the fun outweighs the problems, however serious and fundamental they are. Watched - 1. Get My Gun (2017), 2. The Last Man on Earth (1964), 3. It Stains the Sands Red (2016), 4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), 5. Errementari: The Blacksmith and the Devil (2017) *Current Favorite*, 6. Halloween (1978), 7. One Cut of the Dead (2017), 8. Phamtasm II (1988), 9. Ramekin (2018), 10. Les Affamés (2017), 11. Braindead (1992), 12. Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943) Decade - 1920s, 1930s, 1940s (I), 1950s, 1960s (I), 1970s (II), 1980s (I), 1990s (I), 2000s, 2010s (VI) Black & White:Color - 2:10 By Country - Canada (I), Japan (I), 'Murica (VIII), New Zealand (I), Spain (I) New:Rewatch - 9:3
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Oct 7, 2019 00:04
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 12. Popcorn (1991) (blu-ray) To raise money for their film department, a group of college students put on an all-night horrorthon in an old theater. They show three old sci-fi classics with William Castle-style gimmicks, like seats that give the audience electric shocks and a giant mutant mosquito that flies through the theater on a wire. While digging through some old props to help decorate, they find a single reel of a film titled "Possessor", which their professor informs them was created by a cult leader back in the '70s. It too had a gimmick - the finale of the film was performed live on stage, and it involved the director killing his family and burning down the theater with the audience trapped inside. Yikes. This was a total blast! It's got a ton of fun practical effects and makeup, some cool colorful lighting, and a great (and often morbid) sense of humor. The fictional films they show at the event are maybe my favorite part - they are spot-on pastiches of low budget '50s sci-fi films and they're goofy as hell. You can tell director Mark Herrier loves that kind of thing and knows what makes them work, and it translates into a similar kind of fun energy throughout this whole movie. It loses steam a bit in the last act, and a lot of the music isn't great, but overall this was really fun and I highly recommend it to fans of '80s/early '90s horror comedies. Kind of like Lamberto Bava's Demons but goofier. I'm surprised I don't see this discussed often here, I think a lot of the horror thread regulars would really like this movie. 4/5 Total: 12 Watched: Dead of Night | Child's Play (2019) | Escape Room | Hell Night | The Wind | Evil Dead (2013) | Cure (Samhain Challenge #1) | Tigers Are Not Afraid | The Craft | Tower of London | In Fabric | Popcorn
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Oct 7, 2019 00:12
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 #43) Scooby-Doo and the Monster of Mexico (2003) Felt the need to switch to some lower-intensity material, so here we are. The gang heads south of the border to encounter a chupacabra. In the Scoobyverse (this time, at least), the chupacabra is basically Bigfoot. Early warning sign: the opening credits are in Comic Sans. One of the opening scenes is spent watching the gang communicate with each other via computers, and it feels more detached from reality than anything else in the movie. About as many stereotypes as you would expect from a low-effort early-'00s animated film, plus a few extra. There's a love interest for Scooby, and her name is Taquito. Really went overboard with the stock sound effects, but dropping in some reworkings of the old Scooby sneaking music was a nice touch. There's a handful of good jokes ("Visit my website, ancientmexicanwisdom.com."), and a few scenes with above-average animation (mainly the Aztec slide), but for the most part, it's the standard Scooby song and dance, even with appearances by Quetzalcoatl and giant living statues. Very few of the self-aware jokes and plot twists the series had already shown it benefited from in the first live-action film and stuff like Zombie Island. Too much of that is arguably worse than none of it, sure, but to see things backsliding so soon is a little sad. Better than The Reluctant Werewolf, thank goodness. rating: 5/10
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Oct 7, 2019 00:13
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#10) Green Room (2015) (Seen before, but revisiting) What an incredibly tense and exciting ride this movie is. It's an hour and a half of pure adrenaline and anxiety. I think this movie hit me especially hard as someone who grew up in the punk/hardcore scene, and who knew the nervous feeling when neonazis would show up to shows. And that same nervousness pervades our greater society, now that neonazi groups are on the rise again. There's something so scary about the "wrong place, wrong time" premise that Green Room has. The protagonists in the band are just scared kids who got dropped into a terrifying situation and are trying to survive. As the story goes on, we learn that the majority of the antagonists are also just scared kids trying to fit in and live up to some sort of ideal, under the orders of a man named Darcy who is wonderfully played by Patrick Stewart. In the end, a line stuck with me that applies to all of these scared, hateful groups, hiding behind herd mentality and violence: "you were a lot scarier in the dark." 4/5
Count Thrashula fucked around with this message at 02:09 on Oct 7, 2019 |
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Oct 7, 2019 00:18
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 40) Howling VI: The Freaks - 1991 - TubiTV Werewolf in a carnival freak show's a fairly average idea, even if the side show's being run by a vampire. That being said, with how basic the concept is, it really needs some flair to shine and there's a distinct lack of flair here. Calling it mediocre's a compliment it's so bland. Definitely another skippable.  41) The Howling: New Moon Rising - 1995 - DVD Right when I think the franchise can't get more skippable, it pitches this one at me. To illustrate just how bad this one is, the character names are the same as the actors because everyone had that much trouble remembering their lines. Not even in my younger 'we got a super8 camera/got a camcorder..LET'S MAKE A MOVIE!' days did we manage that level of fumbling. At least the poster's pretty.  42) The Howling: Reborn - 2011 - Prime First time watch. Plot is approximately what the third Howling book is, or at least what I read of the synopsis. It's pretty obvious they were aiming for the pretty boy monster romance demographic. Not particularly my cuppa, but it was better than the last three films. Final Thoughts: Overall, it's been a good long while since I sat through The Howling films, and in light of this full franchise watch I've come to a conclusion. Sometimes a film doesn't need to end up as a franchise. The original Howling's absolutely fine on it's own. As far as the books go, they're more coherent with storyline though the third does retcon some plot elements.
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Oct 7, 2019 00:53
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