Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS

ishikabibble: Jan 21, 2012

Darchangel posted:

$7500 is the *reduced* price? This ad reads like a joke. "Complete with JUNKYARD MOTOR!!!!"
It's a '92 Caravan that's been cut up. It would have to have $7000 worth of alcohol in that bar to make it $7500.

Easy financing available.

# ? Sep 24, 2019 23:40

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# ? May 9, 2024 04:25

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Brolander posted:

�I dunno honey, noone�s buying it!�

"Oh yeah, hold my beer for a second."

# ? Sep 25, 2019 01:31

TotalLossBrain: Oct 20, 2010; Hier graben!

This seems...excessive, no?

# ? Sep 25, 2019 02:21

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

no, they hold their value crazy good

even with 75k miles they''re around the $15 grand mark

# ? Sep 25, 2019 02:36

GeneticWeapon: May 13, 2007

TotalLossBrain posted:

This seems...excessive, no?

Those sold for roughly $40k when new, so I'm not sure really. They certainly picked the worst possible color when they bought it.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 02:41

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

GeneticWeapon posted:

Those sold for roughly $40k when new, so I'm not sure really. They certainly picked the worst possible color when they bought it.

silver would like to have a chat with you.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 02:45

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

I find that color endearing.

The T-bird looked pretty cool, but like the Prowler it was hamstrung by only having the shittiest drivetrain options possible.

Now I want to buy one and try to shove a Coyote in it, thanks.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 05:32

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Elviscat posted:

I find that color endearing.

The T-bird looked pretty cool, but like the Prowler it was hamstrung by only having the shittiest drivetrain options possible.

Now I want to buy one and try to shove a Coyote in it, thanks.

The 3.9 wasn't that bad, at least intil it blew up at 60,000 miles.

It still gets my goat that Ford didn't send the Ranger, Crown Vic or Town Car out with a stonkin engine. The ranger and 3.5 ecoboost existed in the same year. The CV and TC and coyote existed in the same year. hell, the 300hp 3.7 and ranger existed in the same year.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 05:36

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

We can always take solice in the Marauder.

When the little 4-pot in my Ranger goes from chronic oil starvation I might seriously consider replacing it with an ecoboost of some flavor, it meets all my needs too well, and I inherited it when my dad passed.

30MPG, giant smoky burnouts on command, and I can still (unsafely) haul 2000 lbs of construction material to my house from Lowes? I'll pay the the rear-end toll.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 05:51

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Elviscat posted:

We can always take solice in the Marauder.

When the little 4-pot in my Ranger goes from chronic oil starvation I might seriously consider replacing it with an ecoboost of some flavor, it meets all my needs too well, and I inherited it when my dad passed.

30MPG, giant smoky burnouts on command, and I can still (unsafely) haul 2000 lbs of construction material to my house from Lowes? I'll pay the the rear-end toll.

Turbo Godzilla!

# ? Sep 25, 2019 05:53

StormDrain: May 22, 2003; Thirteen Letter

TotalLossBrain posted:

This seems...excessive, no?

File that under "no thanks but l like seeing them out and about".

# ? Sep 25, 2019 06:57

beep-beep car is go: Apr 11, 2005; I can just eyeball this, right?

TotalLossBrain posted:

This seems...excessive, no?

It's a Boomermobile. They'll keep that price until the last Boomer heaves his rear end off into the great unknown and then their Gen X and Millenial kids offload it for 4 grand.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 14:58

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

boxen posted:

Today I learned old Dodge minivans can be all-wheel drive. Whether that one actually is or not is an open question.

My brother in law had one with a stick shift. It was less fun than you would think.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 15:31

Darchangel: Feb 12, 2009; Tell him about the blower!

Powershift posted:

The 3.9 wasn't that bad, at least intil it blew up at 60,000 miles.

Huh, I thought that they had the 4.6L. I had no idea they used an AJ variant. 280 HP - not bad!
Now shove an XK8 supercharged AJ in there.

Powershift posted:

It still gets my goat that Ford didn't send the Ranger, Crown Vic or Town Car out with a stonkin engine. The ranger and 3.5 ecoboost existed in the same year. The CV and TC and coyote existed in the same year. hell, the 300hp 3.7 and ranger existed in the same year.

I would love a Coyote or Ecoboost 3.5 in my CV.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 15:41

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

beep-beep car is go posted:

It's a Boomermobile. They'll keep that price until the last Boomer heaves his rear end off into the great unknown and then their Gen X and Millenial kids offload it for 4 grand.

Heh, hopefully when I talk to my boomer/bestfriend next time I'll remember to bring up this tbird era and ask what his thoughts were on it. For the record, he actually has fairly decent taste in cars.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 15:50

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Ken block should start with one for his next hoonicorn.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 17:14

Darchangel: Feb 12, 2009; Tell him about the blower!

Powershift posted:

Ken block should start with one for his next hoonicorn.

I'm on board with this.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 19:29

Coredump: Dec 1, 2002

I want him to take some 70's Malaise era ford product and make it FULLY SICK. Like a Granada or something.

# ? Sep 25, 2019 19:35

StormDrain: May 22, 2003; Thirteen Letter

https://philadelphia.craigslist.org/cto/d/orefield-ultra-rare-toyota-megacruiser/6987042609.html

Finally Rare Cars on Twitter pays off. (not finally I love it especially the idiots.)

edit: I just got on the computer to check and yeah holy poo poo that was huge. Turned the image into a link for you guys.

StormDrain fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Sep 27, 2019

# ? Sep 27, 2019 00:47

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

The HMMWV is slow as gently caress with a V8 displacing an extra 2 liters and providing 30% more horsepower and torque, this thing must be absolutely painful to drive.

# ? Sep 27, 2019 04:13

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Elviscat posted:

The HMMWV is slow as gently caress with a V8 displacing an extra 2 liters and providing 30% more horsepower and torque, this thing must be absolutely painful to drive.

Probably depends on how heavy it is.

# ? Sep 27, 2019 11:14

Kastivich: Mar 26, 2010

There was so much drama when that guy posted on Expedition Portal. He wouldnt explain how he got it into the states nor how it could ever become street legal given its import status. Also his claims of driving it between PA and NJ despite "off road use only".

He apparently has a criminal history involving fraud and agreed to never posting on Craigslist again.

They are super cool though. There is one at the Land Cruiser Museum in SLC, which everyone should check out if they are in the area.

# ? Sep 27, 2019 14:26

KakerMix: Apr 8, 2004; 8.2 M.P.G.

Kastivich posted:

There was so much drama when that guy posted on Expedition Portal. He wouldnt explain how he got it into the states nor how it could ever become street legal given its import status. Also his claims of driving it between PA and NJ despite "off road use only".

He apparently has a criminal history involving fraud and agreed to never posting on Craigslist again.

They are super cool though. There is one at the Land Cruiser Museum in SLC, which everyone should check out if they are in the area.

Won't be but a few months when you can import and actual real one fully legal anyway, otherwise if you drive this thing around everyone will just go "neat a Hummer" or think it's some ugly body kit to LOOK like one.

Not surprised the seller is lovely though, most importers seem to be.

# ? Sep 27, 2019 20:26

Mr-Spain: Aug 27, 2003; Bullshit... you can be mine.

wesleywillis posted:

Probably depends on how heavy it is.

North of 6000 pounds.

# ? Sep 27, 2019 20:41

KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD: Jul 7, 2012

https://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/cto/d/windham-all-steel-street-rod-coupe-must/6983197898.html

# ? Sep 28, 2019 06:24

i own every Bionicle: Oct 23, 2005; cstm ttle? kthxbye

KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD posted:

https://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/cto/d/windham-all-steel-street-rod-coupe-must/6983197898.html

- big horse dick rat fink shifter on an automatic
- chrome wheels
- CD player
- carburetor
- �U-tube�
- old guys rule license plate frame

We have reached peak winga dinga. Upon parking, this vehicle spawns a miniature RC version of itself on its air cleaner. There are Garfield plushies in the backseat, which will always reappear no matter how many times they are removed. Vehicle will self immolate if driven more than three times per year.

# ? Sep 30, 2019 18:20

Applebees Appetizer: Jan 23, 2006

The dumbass radio antenna on the driver's side kills it, otherwise it's actually pretty nice.....Not 45k nice tho.

# ? Sep 30, 2019 18:30

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

https://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/cto/d/portland-2016-converted-ford-transit/6994952849.html

"I'm very sensitive to off-gassing!"

*Drives a Ford van with cheap plastics everywhere and huffs diesel fumes at every fill-up*

# ? Oct 8, 2019 05:53

SUSE Creamcheese: Apr 11, 2007

Haven�t seen a first gen MS3 this clean in ages.

https://columbus.craigslist.org/cto/d/hilliard-2007-mazdaspeed-3-grand/6983499010.html

# ? Oct 11, 2019 15:06

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Didn't they come with a (possibly fake) hood scoop?

# ? Oct 11, 2019 23:07

dissss: Nov 10, 2007; I'm a terrible forums poster with terrible opinions.

Here's a cat fucking a squid.

wesleywillis posted:

Didn't they come with a (possibly fake) hood scoop?

Second gen did, first gen like in the picture has hidden vents that start at the front edge of the hood and run through to the top mounted intercooler.

Greats cars though, I had an immaculate low mileage one that colour which I still regret trading on a (then) brand new 2016

# ? Oct 11, 2019 23:47

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

The first gen looks so much better than the second

# ? Oct 12, 2019 04:07

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

I love how all first gens start out with expensive aesthetic design and when the accountants find out how much money they lose they get redesigned with a $3 hood scoop.

# ? Oct 12, 2019 13:39

KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD: Jul 7, 2012

Elephanthead posted:

I love how all first gens start out with expensive aesthetic design and when the accountants find out how much money they lose they get redesigned with a $3 hood scoop.

see: vw cc

# ? Oct 12, 2019 13:40

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

MS3s are so cool. But they've all been beat on no matter how clean they appear to be. You'll catch the zzb within a month of purchase at this point.

# ? Oct 12, 2019 14:32

MrYenko: Jun 18, 2012; #2 isn't ALWAYS bad...

Not craigslist, and not a car, but holy poo poo.

quote:

Airplane without original logbooks, Nose landing gear damage, always hangared

quote:

Airplane is Sold as it is and where it is, NO LOGBOOK They were lost, has always been in a hangar.

quote:

In Culiacan, Sinaloa Mexico

# ? Oct 14, 2019 15:30

StormDrain: May 22, 2003; Thirteen Letter

Looks like she can fly pretty low, it bet it's in high demand.

# ? Oct 14, 2019 21:23

redgubbinz: May 1, 2007

*slaps roof* this bad boy can fit so much

code:

 medical supplies

in it

# ? Oct 14, 2019 21:50

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

https://desmoines.craigslist.org/cto/d/des-moines-1993-jeep-cherokee-country/6991348771.html

quote:

All right fellers, step right up and feast yer eyes on this here beauty of a buy! Today's yer lucky day, cause you ain't never seen the likes a what I got cookin' up in the ol' skillet.

Now hold yer horses, I know what you's thinkin: Lookit that prize of a peach, only a durn fool'd think to part ways with that lovely lookin' lady for less than his weight in gold! Well I done thought a all that, and after 25 glorious years of rottin' away in my clan, I reckon she don't owe us a fortune before movin' on down the trail.

How old, you say? Well, this here machine been passed through more hands in our famdamily than a megachurch collection plate on Easter Sunday. When Moses saw the golden calf and busted up them brand new commandments, he chucked 'em in the back a this rig and finally left the desert. An XJ with a 4.0 that don't overheat in the desert is bout as "miracle" as you gonna get. Lookit up yerself, it's all right there in the Book of Haynes. Tell you what, she was already rusted up when General Washington parked her on the far side a the Delaware. When them covered wagons were all haul-rear end to Oregon-way, this trusty bucket was already out there pullin' stumps n leavin' oil spots. Heck, this ol girl been around longer than Cousin Eddie at Christmas time...an' twice as greasy.

How's she run? Beats me, friend. Some combination a voodoo, elbow grease, an a little luck. Stupid thing jes' keep on startin' every time, except for when m'boy leaves the dome light on an drains her down. You give her a pump o' the gas pedal an she turns over like the first flapjack on a cold morning in loggin' camp. You can't beat that ol' straight six for a fun time...an the motor is purty good too. That engine cranks like a pack a dogs brawlin over the last piece a Slim Jim.

Smooth idle? Well, she sound more like an old-timer laughing at his own joke..smells about the same, come to think it. Sure she's tired, but you wind 'er up to 3,000 and she make a noise like to tell you hey, you best git out the way. Pulls a trailer like a son of a gun, too, long as you don't care to stop anytime soon. Ottermatic tranny shifts purty good, and the four b'four grind through snow and grit like a mole through Virginny topsoil who's late for work. Got that 4LO geared lower than a plumber's belt, and likewise don't stop for nothin but a good donut joint.

Dunno what to tell bout the body, 'cept it's a Jeep and somehow still there. It's mostly paint and trim all held together by rust, duct tape, n' the grace a whoever you pray to. Spent 'nuff years on Midwestern gravel an' salt, she pretty well orange below the waist and as holey as that pair of unnerwears you still ain't throwed away.

Hell, she been bored through like termites at an all-you-ken-eat balsa wood buffet. Made a fortune when I crashed through a cheese factory and shredded up all their product fancy like. You look close an' you ken see the carpet stickin' through the floor, now you don't git that outta just any rig, that's special to this 'un. See most folk'll worry bout gittin' stuck somewheres...ain't never stuck with this rig, you just stick your feet down and Flintstone it home, friend.

Mileage? Buddy you don't put Jeep and mileage in the same sentence 'less you talkin' bout the odometer. Probly git 10 or more to a gallon, long as you only fill 'er up halfway. More than that and you're sloshin' against the fuel pump seal so you'll smell it when you walk around. Oil? Now you're talkin, pardner. She's real easy with the oil, you ain't even gotta check it; just chuck a couple quarts in if she stops leavin' spots. Suspension? This wreck's got all kinda suspense: gonna make it home? how many mice been in there? guess that stain? which brake line's got the leak? Always keep you guessin', you never want for entertainment.

Amenities? Well to start, the tires all hold air, the lights come on, and the roof keeps most the water out. Got seats inside you ken sit on, and seatbelts, too. Goodness knows if they'd ever hold, but you feel right better wearin 'em. Which is good, cause there ain't no airbags except the four rubber ones what hold the wheels off the ground. They'd a blown long before anyway, this wreck been worked harder than a rented dune buggy. New headliner fabric bout a decade back, pool table green, because why not. Stereo works good and got a CD player. That's "compact disc" for you youngsters. You wanna listen to stuff that ain't blasted out over the air waves, you had to git it all wrote down on a silver coaster an stick it in the dash. Anyway, that works all right.

Power locks and winders: meanin' it takes a lotta power to get 'em to move. I reckon you jes' don't leave nothin' in it, and don't bother. Back seat folds down, an' it even folds back up again, would y'believe it. Dunno bout clean, but it's good nuff for whom'n it's for. Durn thing survived as a comp'ny car, family wagon, and lived through three teenage boys, so it's seen more action than a trade union meeting for stunt doubles. She done more redneck engineering than your teenager changes outfits.

Rocker panels are so rusted out they ain't even there no more. Less to wash 'n wax. You don't jump in an out lest you slice yer leg on somethin. Shocks probly worked back in the early 00s, but now she waller around like a hot cow in a mud bath. Brakes? Sure, they broke jes' fine. You ken get goin okay, but then you better make a date to get 'er stopped. Front has new hard lines now, but the backs are leakin', so she's softer than a stick a butter in Tucson. Fixin' it up is purty simple tho, all's you need is a few sticks a brake line and a couple sticks a TNT, an' you're all set. Speakin' a set, don't worry bout alignment, the front end's got more shimmy than a room full of $1 bills when you get goin past 50 mph. Probly need a steering box 'n damper, an maybe a hole in the head as well, but I can't tell you your bidness.

Now I done described this ol' heap bout as best I ken, so don't all be jumpin' at once to take 'er home, hear? Give 'er a good think, and maybe you decide you need a project, or the beginnin's of a new toy. Steer clear a the childrens, for Pete's sake, they don't need to be piloting this scrap pile of automotive wonder anytime soon. But if you think you can give some love for a machine that's done a lot for this here family, you come on over and give 'er a look-see. I'll git some more pitchers up here whens I ken.

I salute ya, friend.

Liquid Communism fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Oct 15, 2019

# ? Oct 15, 2019 04:42

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# ? May 9, 2024 04:25

Carth Dookie: Jan 28, 2013

Probe yourself for not posting a screenshot.

# ? Oct 15, 2019 04:51

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