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  SUPER SAMHAIN CHALLENGE #7: MONSTER MASH#25 Van Helsing 2004 Youtube (Paid rental) This movie kind of kicks rear end? I understand why that critic said that this was a movie for drug-addled little goblins or whatever, but that’s what’s so good about it. It’s a monster mash in truest sense of the word, and it’s not too proud to serve that up in spades. Dracula is deeply unsatisfied with his life. He lives his nights devoid of pleasure, and his house is wracked with malaise. He and his brides have located this ennui in the fact that their children are all stillborn. As such, Dracula sets out on a quest to reanimate them, seeking his solution by financing the research of Dr. Frankenstein. Van Helsing, a Vatican-employed monster hunter, is dispatched to prevent an army of vampire brood from being given life. (There are some other frills to this plot, like a family lineage with a curse of damnation if Dracula doesn’t die before they do, and Van Helsing having amnesia, but this is all just cruft that really should’ve been trimmed.) This movie is really a lot of fun. I think that the reason that it was so widely panned by critics is that there was a lot of backlash against CG effects in 2004, and this movie leans on them pretty heavily. It isn’t hard for me to envision a slightly different world where the Van Helsing property went on to spawn a yearly blockbuster, however. The pulp serial/Indiana jones vibe meshes with the gothic/Universal monsters theme naturally. I see the Robert Downey Jr Sherlock Holmes movies as inheriting the mantle of Van Helsing, and I quite liked those too. All the actors are having fun, and there’s plenty of great spectacle. I’m not much of a stickler for realism, but the effects generally look pretty good to me, save for a few exceptions- the vampires’ distending jaws and fangs never look right- and the liberal use of them feels appropriate for a cheesy monster flick. I love the design for Frankenstein’s monster, and the effects work done with him. The real problem here is the script. There’s just too much going on. I don’t like that they made Van Helsing secretly a supernatural being, because so much of the appeal of the monster hunter figure, to me, is a human heroically squaring off with something much more powerful than them. And anyhow, it just complicates the plot further. Another plotline that should have been cut: why do the Transylvanian monster hunters need a family lineage and a curse and all this exposition? Can’t they just be local freedom fighters? Meanwhile, the central plot, which is strong, is undercooked. Namely, I still don’t understand how this scheme to reanimate Dracula’s offspring functions, on any level really. I’m willing to overlook why young vampires are born in slimy alien-style eggsacs (I don’t think we need a vampire birth scene in this movie,) and to accept that jolting them with electricity brings them to life. But it seems like they need continuous voltage to survive, and we never see any way that they’d be getting that, but they also die from not having it, somehow. And later on they all die when Dracula does, for some reason. This is the core plot of the movie, and we don’t have this stuff explained, while we do spend time on Van Helsing being an archangel with amnesia and an ancient family’s secret history. The other problem with the script is that the dialogue needed a punch-up from some comedy writers. There are good comedic archetypes here. Van Helsing as the devil-may-care adventurer paired with his put-upon, academic friar partner works well. The notion of Frankenstein’s monster going into hiding and becoming a bible-beating wet blanket is really funny! But these dynamics don’t totally come to life. A lot of the dialogue is characters flatly declaring what they’re about to do and why. Dracula’s working hard to sell his performance, but he hasn’t got a ton to work with. Even still, this movie is fun. You can definitely do worse than Van Helsing if you’re looking for an action adventure roller coaster for the Halloween season. It’s just disappointing that it’s so close to being a classic. 3/5
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Oct 24, 2019 17:21
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Russian Guyovitch posted:1. Dude Bro Party Massacre III Ok, got a little sidetracked on getting my reviews up after my car got totaled last week on my way home from work. Fortunately I'm okay and will hopefully be caught back up on movies by the time Halloween rolls around. 15. Howling III: The Marsupials - Man, there was so much more movie that the filmmakers wanted to make here. Like, clearly someone wanted to do their own Australian werewolf franchise but wound up distilling two or three movies down in to one entry in a separate series. What could have been a campy good time winds up feeling too disjointed to be enjoyable overall, although the end of the film really goes for it, even if it doesn't succeed. 16. In the Tall Grass - A new Netflix adaptation of a Stephen King and Joe Hill novella, it's the story of a pregnant woman and her brother on a cross country road trip who head in to a field of tall grass when they here a young boy calling for help. Other people here didn't seem to enjoy this as much as I did, but I liked the lack of clear rules for how the field operated and how it trapped people. Leaving elements like the church and the rock as unexplained mysteries worked for me. Also, Patrick Wilson is clearly having a blast. 17. Errementari: The Blacksmith and the Devil - I'm going to echo the other reviews I've seen here for this film and say it's really refreshing to get a movie with the devil and have him be a red guy with a pitchfork and horns. I don't know that I'd 100% call this a horror film, though. It's really more a fantasy movie, even if it is based on old Basque folklore about the devil. Still, if having the devil in it was enough for me to count November for last years challenge, then it's enough here too. Genre aside, this is definitely worth checking out. It's a really well designed, shot and acted film. 18. Happy Death Day 2U - Another that I wouldn't quite consider to be a horror film, despite it being the sequel to a slasher. We pick up right after the events of the first film, with Tree finding out that her boyfriend's roommate has gotten stuck in the same sort of time loop that she was in in the first movie, right down to the baby mask-wearing killer. From there though, things diverge, with some sci-fi shenanigans sending her into a parallel dimension, where she's back to reliving her birthday again and again, but now everything has changed on her, and she needs to figure out how to close the loop. They carry over the whole dying resets the day conceit from the first film, but instead of being stalked by a slasher, she's got commit suicide over and over again, due to the limited time she has to work within the sci-fi mcguffin around which the film is built. They try to bring back the whole masked killer element again later in the movie, only this time targeting Tree's roommate, but at the same time we've got a comedic caper happening in the dean's office that's straight out of your standard eightie's college comedy. This isn't to say that this is a bad movie. Overall I enjoyed it, with plenty of jokes landing and some solid performances, but the shift in tone makes it feel like a part of a different franchise. 19. Cast A Deadly Spell - Man, I really went on a "not really horror" bender. Here we have a made for HBO movie that's a pastiche of film noir tropes and Lovecraftian old ones mythos. The story follows Fred Ward as a private eye named Lovecraft in L.A. in 1948, who's hired by a wealthy client to track down his copy of the Necrinomicon. You see, we're in an alternate earth L.A. where everyone uses magic and the world is full of zombies, werewolves, gargoyles and other monsters. All in all, this is a pretty cheesy film, but it does have Clancy Brown as a formerly crooked cop turned mob boss, and an early role from Julianne Moore as well. Solid rainy Saturday afternoon fare. 20. SUPER SAMHAIN CHALLENGE #5: TOURIST TRAP - ANGST - While I've seen plenty of German films, I've never caught an Austrian one. Angst follows the story of a young man as he's released from prison for the murder of an elderly woman. He immediately sets about trying to act out on his sadistic fantasies as soon as he's beyond the prison gates, ultimately taking hostage an elderly woman and her two adult children. Throughout the film, we get the main characters narration of events and his motives, showing us the extent of his delusion and the failure of the Austrian prison system to correctly identify his mental illness. A bleak, but effective, film. 21. SUPER SAMHAIN CHALLENGE #7: MONSTER MASHUP - TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000 - Jeff Goldbloom and Ed Begley Jr. are journalists at a tabloid sent to Transylvania to investigate footage taken by tourists of what appears to be Frankenstein's monster in this "comedy." While there, they come across a wolfman, mummy and vampire as well. This is easily the worst thing I've watched not just this month, but in a long time. But it was the only thing I could easily find on my available streaming options to fulfill this challenge. Watching this film has made me wonder just how Michael Richards managed to have the career he did. Avoid this at all costs. 22. SUPER SAMHAIN CHALLENGE #6: SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK: THE HAUNTING (1999) - Man, this remake takes everything that's good about the original and just tosses it out the window. Whereas the first was all about subtlety and style, this one's just throwing big cgi ghosts right in your face. Apparently no one ever told Jan De Bont that sometimes less is more.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:22
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My review of Van Helsing from earlier this month was very similar. Always seemed odd to me how much hate it got considering how much fun it is.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:27
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Basebf555 posted:My review of Van Helsing from earlier this month was very similar. Always seemed odd to me how much hate it got considering how much fun it is. It's not a good movie by any stretch, but it's a great movie for just wanting to watch some movie when your brain is on power save mode.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:31
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SUPER SAMHAIN CHALLENGE #10: Navel Gazing Thanks to Gripweed for designing this torture device   Watch a horror movie you haven't seen that you discovered from this year's challenge thread.or Ask for a wild card from someone in this thread, or the CineD Horror Thread. If you give someone a wild card, please hold off on giving someone else a wild card. If you requested a wild card and got lost in the mix, feel free to quote yourself so as to get a suggestion. To make it a little easier, please edit your post once you've been given a Wild Card so fellow Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 17:32
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Can I ask in the other horror thread cause I specifically want a wild card from Kvlt!
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Oct 24, 2019 17:33
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Basebf555 posted:My review of Van Helsing from earlier this month was very similar. Always seemed odd to me how much hate it got considering how much fun it is. If you enjoyed it and haven’t seen the Robert Downey Jr movies, I highly recommend them! Very similar vibe. The first one is really great, and the sequel is a little more unwieldy but still a fun ride.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:35
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 #141) Big Top Scooby-Doo! (2012) Werewolves are causing a ruckus, and to investigate, the gang joins the circus. That's the reason given, but I think it's really because Fred loves the circus. There's a lot of cuteness to this one. They've returned to using a stylized opening, the gang finding their places in the world of the circus is involved without going on for too long, and Velma as a human cannonball is just too good. There's also some weirdness, beyond the main motivator being an inherited circus. Some of the supporting characters have a weird B:TAS look to their faces, Scooby gets jealous when Shaggy gets circus fame, and Shaggy has a fantasy in which he looks amazingly like a low-rent Max Galactica (see below). That fantasy also includes Scooby transforming beneath the light of a full moon into a human man, something I'm sure is the most disturbing thing in all of Scooby media. Cute, fun, and good energy, but strictly popcorn fare, even if it is (probably) the only Scooby movie to end with death metal. Sung by Peter Stormare. rating: 6/10"Then let's head on out... Scabby."  
Darthemed fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 17:35
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COOL CORN posted:Can I ask in the other horror thread cause I specifically want a wild card from Kvlt! What if I wanna hold a grudge against Kvlt! for not participating in the challenge thread proper?   ....Yes. You can ask for a wild card in this thread or the horror thread. Please don't ask for wildcards on any of the CineD discords or other threads, though.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:36
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Anybody who wants to give me a wild card, throw one at me, please. Edit: Given Occult by Gripweed! Darthemed fucked around with this message at 18:23 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 17:40
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Darthemed posted:Anybody who wants to give me a wild card, throw one at me, please. Watch Occult! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6qri3HnUQQ
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Oct 24, 2019 17:43
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Nevermind! Just a heads up, I'm gonna post the rest of the Samhain Challenges tomorrow morning (or tonight, if people would like). I'm gonna be very busy this weekend, and I don't want peeps scrambling because of me.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:44
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Darthemed posted:Anybody who wants to give me a wild card, throw one at me, please. I'll give you two, watch whichever one you haven't seen(they're both on Prime): Terrorvision Forbidden World Edit: lol this challenge is gonna really up the post/page count on the thread isn't it? Basebf555 fucked around with this message at 17:49 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 17:44
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Basebf555 posted:I'll give you two, watch whichever one you haven't seen: We were both too late on that one! And yes. Yes it is.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:45
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Given a rec by the Franchescanado/Basebf555 p-p-p-p-power combination smitster fucked around with this message at 18:22 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 17:46
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smitster posted:I'm doing the challenges in order so have a few movies to go before I can watch it, but could someone please find it in their heart to throw a wildcard at me here? Take one of the two Basebf555 suggested! They're both good.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:48
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Can I ask for a wild card from someone I know in real life, or does it have to be from someone in the thread? I have to return some rentals to Beyond Video in Baltimore this week, and I'm willing to ask for a wild card recommendation when I pick up my next batch of films.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:48
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I'll take a wildcard too. Anything I can get either via streaming or VOD is cool.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:49
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I would also like a wildcard please  Edit: Thankyou gey muckle mowser for "Parents" bitterandtwisted fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 17:49
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I'll take a Wildcard as well. Something on Youtube, Shudder, or Netflix, prefferably Anonymous Robot has determined I shall watch Hauntedween Gripweed fucked around with this message at 18:22 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 17:50
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The zombie horde from Return of the Living Dead but instead of "braaaains" they're saying "give me a wildcarrrrddd"
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Oct 24, 2019 17:51
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gey muckle mowser posted:I'll take a wildcard too. Anything I can get either via streaming or VOD is cool. YOU get Popcorn (1991). It is on YouTube for free.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:51
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Friends Are Evil posted:Can I ask for a wild card from someone I know in real life, or does it have to be from someone in the thread? I have to return some rentals to Beyond Video in Baltimore this week, and I'm willing to ask for a wild card recommendation when I pick up my next batch of films. Someone in this or the Horror thread, please. Last year I did a challenge where people had to ask someone offline for a recommendation, and it was a bit of a mess and puts too much freedom in the
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Oct 24, 2019 17:52
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Franchescanado posted:YOU get Popcorn (1991). It is on YouTube for free. I already watched it for this challenge good pick though, it rules
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Oct 24, 2019 17:54
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Gripweed posted:I'll take a Wildcard as well. Something on Youtube, Shudder, or Netflix, prefferably I believe “Hauntedween” is on Youtube. Watch that. Edit: confirmed it’s on there
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Oct 24, 2019 17:54
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bitterandtwisted posted:I would also like a wildcard please Parents - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098068/ looks to be on Prime Video if you have that
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Oct 24, 2019 17:55
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Joke's on you, I'm the one guy left who is still needing to blind watch One Cut of the Dead based on the thread's continual requests to do so.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:55
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Franchescanado posted:Take one of the two Basebf555 suggested! They're both good. Fantastic, I haven't seen either one!
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Oct 24, 2019 17:57
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bitterandtwisted posted:I would also like a wildcard please
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Oct 24, 2019 17:59
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gey muckle mowser posted:I already watched it for this challenge My bad. Have you seen Fido from 2006? It's on Amazon Prime. If so, lemme know your Letterboxd name and I'll find one you haven't seen.
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Oct 24, 2019 18:02
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Franchescanado posted:Someone in this or the Horror thread, please. Last year I did a challenge where people had to ask someone offline for a recommendation, and it was a bit of a mess and puts too much freedom in the Fair enough! In that case, I'll ask for one here. Preferably something on Amazon Prime, Criterion Channel, YouTube, or Shudder. I might still ask for a separate rec when I go to Beyond because it'd be a fun time, but that won't be counted towards the challenge. edit: Going with The Last Wave, courtesy of Fran Friends Are Evil fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 18:04
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Friends Are Evil posted:Fair enough! In that case, I'll ask for one here. Preferably something on Amazon Prime, Criterion Channel, YouTube, or Shudder. I'm seemingly striking out with rec's for Gey Muckle Mowser, so how about you check out The Last Wave on Criterion Channel? I haven't seen it yet, but it sounds awesome. I will ALSO take a Wild Card, friends. edit: I was given Prevenge by smitster Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 18:06
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Franchescanado posted:My bad. Have you seen Fido from 2006? It's on Amazon Prime. I have not, thanks!
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Oct 24, 2019 18:09
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Franchescanado posted:I'm seemingly striking out with rec's for Gey Muckle Mowser, so how about you check out The Last Wave on Criterion Channel? I haven't seen it yet, but it sounds awesome. How about you watch Prevenge? https://letterboxd.com/film/prevenge/ edit - Oh, that looks like it's only on shudder at this point - so if you have that, I'll give you Prevenge!
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Oct 24, 2019 18:12
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smitster posted:How about you watch Prevenge? I've been putting this one off. So thank you! edit: To make it a little easier, if you're given a wild card, please update your post to say you've got one.Like so: Franchescanado posted:I will ALSO take a Wild Card, friends. Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 18:17 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 18:14
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Basebf555 posted:The zombie horde from Return of the Living Dead but instead of "braaaains" they're saying "give me a wildcarrrrddd" The Seventh Curse (on amazon prime)!
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Oct 24, 2019 18:16
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I want to recommend A Chinese Ghost Story to everyone in the thread, but unfortunately it took me about a year to get a hold of a legal copy with *good enough* subtitles that barely got here in time so :/. But if you can find it, it's really good!
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Oct 24, 2019 18:18
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Kvlt! gave me Deadbeat by Dawn, so I'm gonna go with that. Woohoo
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Oct 24, 2019 18:20
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Franchescanado posted:I'm seemingly striking out with rec's for Gey Muckle Mowser, so how about you check out The Last Wave on Criterion Channel? I haven't seen it yet, but it sounds awesome. Sounds good. I'll go with that one.
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Oct 24, 2019 18:20
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Missed my chance to wildcard it to the intended person, but I'm gonna recommend Gargoyles to anybody looking for something with a low budget, a lot of heart, and practical effects that rise above the budget. It's a lot like Equinox.
Darthemed fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 18:25
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