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Invalid Validation
Jan 13, 2008




I’d be a hack too if I made as much money as he has.

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kalvanoo
Apr 29, 2018

look at this lil perv
i love swords, and babes, and babes in leather, and of course the truth, and ive managed to masterfully weave all those things i love in to a perfect tale for the ages. and yet, i have one other love i have yet to weave into the woven masterwork that i created, and that love is football.

Eediot Jedi
Dec 25, 2007

This is where I begin to speculate what being a
man of my word costs me

gschmidl posted:

Goodkind has another "book" out. It's Nazi Planet Episode but with stupid pacifists who learn that violence is awesome from Dick Rahl Raging River, Major Tom (and Ground Control), and her dog, Big Dog.

gschmidl posted:

Tom's a Commander, not a Major. The rest is 100% real.

I'm dying.

e: it's been a while so Scoob thank you for your continued sacrifice to bring this to us in easily an digestible format, especially as I'm too stupid to realise the obvious axes Terry is out to grind.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
No worries. I'm probably going to throw myself into this again through the week as stress relief, so let's see if I can't get two more by Friday.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

Kaza42 posted:

[...]

So you can see why Wizards would think making Slides was 100% a good idea with no downsides.

I'm still catching up in here but I gotta say,

Games > Traditional Games > Let's Read the Sword of Truth books! 100% a good idea with no downsides

gschmidl
Sep 3, 2011

watch with knife hands

You reminded me that the next Sword of Truth novella is out. It treads in place, but has this one single gem to offer:

"What adult mind is more simplistic and childlike than a diplomat's?"

It's yours, Terry. Yours and the other lolbjectivists'.

SpRahl
Apr 22, 2008
Whats he got against diplomats

Guest2553
Aug 3, 2012


SpRahl posted:

Whats he got against diplomats

something something deep state

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer
Diplomats seek compromise and why would you compromise when you're always 100% right and good?

Raygereio
Nov 12, 2012

SpRahl posted:

Whats he got against diplomats
Remember how Goodkind wrote about our great, moral heroes who are never wrong, slaughtering their way through an anti-war protest? You had to be careful reading that bit, there was a real danger that Goodkind's erect penis that was sticking up from between lines would poke your eye out.

quote:

People armed only with their hatred for moral clarity fell bloodied, terribly injured, and dead.

Are you really surprised he might hate people whose job it is to not view things in pure black and white, talk about problems and seek non-violent solutions.

Anias
Jun 3, 2010

It really is a lovely hat

We are reminded once more that Goodkind can't even remember his own worldview.

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

I'm laid up sick reading this thread, and goddamn.


... Ugh. I think I'll go back to sleep.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

https://twitter.com/Goons_TXT/status/1165051147150856193

:yikes:

PJOmega
May 5, 2009

Holy poo poo.

Unless it's referring to the huge number of women I've met who were fans of the books, but even then yikes indeed.

Invalid Validation
Jan 13, 2008




Goons.txt indeed

Zeerust
May 1, 2008

They must have guessed, once or twice - guessed and refused to believe - that everything, always, collectively, had been moving toward that purified shape latent in the sky, that shape of no surprise, no second chance, no return.
e: nm

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

76-Year-Old Woman Bleeds To Death After Her Pet Rooster Pecks Her Leg

Oh gently caress, the chimes

SSJ_naruto_2003
Oct 12, 2012




That's a Lurk you idiot.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

It was clearly a rooster.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Surely this is no human rooster!

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
Bumping to prevent death. Not abandoned, just exhausted.

RaspberrySea
Nov 29, 2004
Just need some Lardo to power you through.

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

Honestly I'm still amazed at what youve slogged though so far

Bmac32
Nov 25, 2012
Seriously. It's not the Lord's work, cause no just deity would call for it, but you're doing something's work. Cthulhu maybe. Praise his many tentacles.

Colander Crotch
Nov 24, 2005

I- I don't even know what you just called me!
You know, it would be fitting for this to end in th middle of Chainfire, because that was as far as i forced myself to read before skipping to tue Wikipedia summary of the series.

Ceiling fan
Dec 26, 2003

I really like ceilings.
Dead Man’s Band
I saw some of the printed paperbacks recently. They are pretty drat thick. I can't imagine how much filler must be in there given how simple the plots I've read in here are.

Mr Phillby
Apr 8, 2009

~TRAVIS~
I've been watching Legend of the Seeker recently and it really funny how the quality of the show noticeably dips the closer an episode is to the Source material. Last one I watched adapted the sexy torture arc from book one and its loving terrible largely because there's entire scenes with actual dialogue from the book.

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Hey gently caress you buddy

PJOmega
May 5, 2009

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Hey gently caress you buddy



I'm the guy in the back with armor apparently made from those polyester shirts with flame patterns.

Sir Fieri

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

As far as I'm concerned, the books end at Confessor.

If I stumble across a plot summary somewhere, I'll read that to see what happens in the other books - if only out of morbid curiosity - but I'll be damned if I'm going to force myself to actually read the books.

Especially since I already know that drat near every remotely cool or good person dies.

JcDent
May 13, 2013

Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

the_steve posted:

As far as I'm concerned, the books end at Confessor. ]

As far as I'm concerned, the books shouldn't have even started.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

JcDent posted:

As far as I'm concerned, the books shouldn't have even started.

:hmmyes:

Mr Phillby
Apr 8, 2009

~TRAVIS~

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Hey gently caress you buddy


That's from episode 11 where Kahlan pretends to be a Mord Sith in order to rescue her sister from Prison. As I said the show is better the farther away from the events of the books it gets.

I actually saw the incredible Season 2 episode 'Princess' before I read any of the books so I was pretty upset when book Zedd never got to disguise himself as a dutchess and teach Cara etiquette lessons in rhyme as part of a scheme to infiltrate a castle's aristocracy.

Mr Phillby fucked around with this message at 02:18 on Oct 31, 2019

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Ok we cool

God that show was terrible and it fully embraced its terribleness and it was glorious

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

Is it iron skies level of "we know this is bad sit back and enjoy the show"?

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





No it's actually mildly entertaining and a good brainless fantasy romp

Iron Sky is the worst thing ever

I mean how do you gently caress up moon nazis?

Mr Phillby
Apr 8, 2009

~TRAVIS~
It's camp fun like your Hercules or Xenas but drat Bruce Spence plays an entertaining wizard.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

90s fantasy shows just had a certain degree of fun to them. Like, they knew they weren't putting on Shakespeare and just decided to have a good time with it.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
I really need to make a few posts about that show. It's so dumb and so good. Xena is a very good comparison.

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gschmidl
Sep 3, 2011

watch with knife hands

I was recently inflicting the show on a friend, and was wondering who the poor man's John Rhys-Davies was they cast.

It was John Rhys-Davies. He would go on to want to be even less in the godawful Shannara show.

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