(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Goon Danton posted:Quoting his story from earlier in the thread I hear you. My cats were the main reason I didn't give up in despair during my years of homelessness.
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Nov 1, 2019 13:16
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I just dont know how to communicate with people because no one went through the effort of teaching it to me. All my parents were concerned with was making sure I said the right political slogans for the far right, and my relationship with them didnt leave me with the impression that I was loved much. I just dont know how to interact with people without making them upset or angry or confused, and god help me Im stuck in a forward-facing job where I have to talk with strangers every day and its making me sick with anxiety because I cant tell if any interaction went well or not.
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Nov 1, 2019 18:37
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Anyone in here have physical symptoms from anxiety that feel like nerve pains? Yesterday I was offered a job I really wanted, but then in the next 24 hours pretty much everything went wrong and the job turned out to be pretty crap actually. After spending all of yesterday and most of today trying to salvage it I just let it go and backed out because I was heading towards something and I cant afford for that to happen where I'm at or they'll ship me home. I was having waves of anxiety every time something else went wrong accompanied by physical symptoms which are like unpleasantly nerve feelings in patches on my arms and legs? I had a little of the same thing back in July when my brain decided that everything was wrong all at once one day, but that was not as severe and went away gradually. I got things under control emotionally, but this is physically uncomfortable to the point of distraction. The milder stuff took a few days to go completely.
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Nov 1, 2019 18:58
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I mean, god, I can't trust people anymore because I can't interact with them right. I mean, take for example this: I had what I assumed was a pleasant interaction with someone, had a chat and everything before getting them their stuff and on their way, and I thought nothing of it. Turns out, by not "acknowledging" them as soon as they walked in (since I was busy with something else), I had ruined their whole day, and every other little mistake made made them angry to the point of them going online to leave a poor review and calling customer support to get a full refund on everything. This results in me getting written up and just flat out threatened by the manager with getting my shifts reduced if I didn't shape up. How do I trust strangers after that, if they're willing to get me fired and ruin my life if I make them slightly uncomfortable? My life is just terrifying because of this, I don't know if someone is going to be mad or not because I barely understand them at all and I don't know what makes anyone tick. I mean, Jesus, even chatting with people online scares me because I don't loving know any of these unspoken rules and so I always wander into some scenario where I make myself look awful because I say something that makes someone mad that I had no idea would make them mad and then they start getting irritated with me and I escalate things because I start to get angry back since to me it doesn't seem justified, and then everything goes to poo poo. I don't know how to make this stop, I wish I didn't have this lovely burden of having to fix myself.
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Nov 1, 2019 19:25
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SunAndSpring posted:I mean, god, I can't trust people anymore because I can't interact with them right. I mean, take for example this: I had what I assumed was a pleasant interaction with someone, had a chat and everything before getting them their stuff and on their way, and I thought nothing of it. Turns out, by not "acknowledging" them as soon as they walked in (since I was busy with something else), I had ruined their whole day, and every other little mistake made made them angry to the point of them going online to leave a poor review and calling customer support to get a full refund on everything. This results in me getting written up and just flat out threatened by the manager with getting my shifts reduced if I didn't shape up. How do I trust strangers after that, if they're willing to get me fired and ruin my life if I make them slightly uncomfortable? My life is just terrifying because of this, I don't know if someone is going to be mad or not because I barely understand them at all and I don't know what makes anyone tick. I mean, Jesus, even chatting with people online scares me because I don't loving know any of these unspoken rules and so I always wander into some scenario where I make myself look awful because I say something that makes someone mad that I had no idea would make them mad and then they start getting irritated with me and I escalate things because I start to get angry back since to me it doesn't seem justified, and then everything goes to poo poo. I don't know how to make this stop, I wish I didn't have this lovely burden of having to fix myself. This was an example of a person who was working the system to get something for nothing. Their reaction had very little to do with you. The way to handle it is to reduce the entire interaction that you have with customers to a series of checkboxes which cover everything that management expects you to do and to cover your rear end. You don't have to be, like, literally robotic, but it helps to think of them less as people and more as a box that needs to be stamped in a particular way.
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Nov 1, 2019 20:01
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*sigh* so having lost a job on account of the politics of a dipshit boomer/PMC it's really, really hard to get caught back up after you've fallen behind on bills. especially when job listings depend on having an internet connection. EDIT: I don't know if I even have the energy to melt down anymore. like you open up the reactor and there's nothing but lead inside Gene Hackman Fan has issued a correction as of 22:43 on Nov 1, 2019 |
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Nov 1, 2019 21:45
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SunAndSpring posted:I mean, god, I can't trust people anymore because I can't interact with them right. I mean, take for example this: I had what I assumed was a pleasant interaction with someone, had a chat and everything before getting them their stuff and on their way, and I thought nothing of it. Turns out, by not "acknowledging" them as soon as they walked in (since I was busy with something else), I had ruined their whole day, and every other little mistake made made them angry to the point of them going online to leave a poor review and calling customer support to get a full refund on everything. This results in me getting written up and just flat out threatened by the manager with getting my shifts reduced if I didn't shape up. How do I trust strangers after that, if they're willing to get me fired and ruin my life if I make them slightly uncomfortable? My life is just terrifying because of this, I don't know if someone is going to be mad or not because I barely understand them at all and I don't know what makes anyone tick. I mean, Jesus, even chatting with people online scares me because I don't loving know any of these unspoken rules and so I always wander into some scenario where I make myself look awful because I say something that makes someone mad that I had no idea would make them mad and then they start getting irritated with me and I escalate things because I start to get angry back since to me it doesn't seem justified, and then everything goes to poo poo. I don't know how to make this stop, I wish I didn't have this lovely burden of having to fix myself. Can definitely relate. I worked at a hotel where we had constant mystery shoppers testing us and we had to do dumb bullshit like say goodbye in two different ways. I got written up for telling one mystery shopper "goodbye, have a nice flight" since he determined that was not two goodbyes. This constant pressure filled me with anxiety every time someone approached me since there was a "three strikes and you're out" rule. Worse yet I was in security and I don't think anyone actually expects security guards to be good at that fake hotel perkiness. Our job was to break up fights and kick people out (hotel had an adjoining casino), usually those skill sets don't intertwine. Since I never went to university I've pretty much been stuck in customer service but I lucked out recently and got one where I only have to do live chat and email. I'm still constantly at risk of screwing up social interactions with my coworkers though. And I have chronic hand pain so typing all day sucks, but I'll take constant pain over talking to strangers any day. Edit: a lot of people will throw you under the bus and straight up lie because they want free poo poo or are just crazy. It has nothing to do with you. UnfortunateSexFart has issued a correction as of 22:37 on Nov 1, 2019 |
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Nov 1, 2019 22:33
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Alright glad thats out of my system
SunAndSpring has issued a correction as of 02:59 on Nov 2, 2019 |
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Nov 1, 2019 23:55
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As a strong introvert with a lot of social anxiety, the only way I've found to get used to face-to-face interaction is to keep putting yourself in social situations, no matter how terrifying and exhausting it is. I'm not exactly a sterling example of how to pull this off. You basically force yourself to perform your own exposure therapy, and, well, when you put it like that, it just sounds stupid... Haven't posted here in awhile. I went on a painful bender last week. I desperately want a new job without a 1 hour commute, but job hunting is so demoralizing. It's just an unending stream of people politely telling you that you're not good enough. And your ultimate goal is to eventually convince some rich assholes that you're competent enough to make them even more money, but servile and defeated enough to accept the scraps they toss at your feet. Might be time to start seeing my therapist again. 
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Nov 2, 2019 07:46
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mekyabetsu posted:Might be time to start seeing my therapist again. this is usually a very good default answer
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Nov 2, 2019 07:52
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mekyabetsu posted:but job hunting is so demoralizing. It's just an unending stream of people politely telling you that you're not good enough. Right with you there dude - October will make it a year since I've started searching for a new job, as my current place the company is collapsing and money is tight. Therapy definitely has been helpful.
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Nov 2, 2019 14:36
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mekyabetsu posted:It's just an unending stream of people politely telling you that you're not good enough. And your ultimate goal is to eventually convince some rich assholes that you're competent enough to make them even more money, but servile and defeated enough to accept the scraps they toss at your feet. perfect summary of how soul crushing it is. I'm a worthless goony NEET and turn 30 in a week and I'm having a tremendously difficult time justifying continuing to exist. It sucks rear end.
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Nov 2, 2019 19:00
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Solidarity, working class goons. 
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Nov 2, 2019 19:57
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Oh god drat it, I was going through old photos, and I found pictures of my cat who died several years ago at a very fragile time in my life. She was the quietest cat I've ever known, and easily faded into the background. The one time she would show any hint of excitement was every day when I first woke up. She never meowed under normal circumstances, but every morning, when I would slowly throw off the covers and sit on my bed for a minute, she'd sit there, making these little "mrr" sounds and wiggling her butt. If I wanted to hear her version of a "meow," that was the only time I could get one out of her. "Who's the most beautiful cat in the world?" "mrr..." "Is it you?!" "mrr..." "Are you hungry, baby? Let's go downstairs and get breakfast!" "mrr-r-r-RAAAack!" And then I'd sleepily plod downstairs with a big, dumb smile on my face, always hugging the right side of the steps so she would have a clear path to come barreling down the steps on the left next to me and sit at her bowl, patiently waiting for me to feed her. She made every morning special. On the mornings when I was hung over, depressed, unable to face the world, and barely able to muster the energy to feed myself, she always seemed extra insistent on getting breakfast. To this day, when I walk down those stairs, I instinctively hug the right side. mekyabetsu has issued a correction as of 20:36 on Nov 2, 2019 |
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Nov 2, 2019 20:33
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I came out to my partner today. It was incredibly anti climactic
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Nov 2, 2019 21:24
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:I came out to my partner today. It was incredibly anti climactic sorry it wasnt a big moment. glad it wasnt a big moment.
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Nov 2, 2019 22:03
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mekyabetsu posted:Oh god drat it, I was going through old photos, and I found pictures of my cat who died several years ago at a very fragile time in my life. She was the quietest cat I've ever known, and easily faded into the background. The one time she would show any hint of excitement was every day when I first woke up. She never meowed under normal circumstances, but every morning, when I would slowly throw off the covers and sit on my bed for a minute, she'd sit there, making these little "mrr" sounds and wiggling her butt. If I wanted to hear her version of a "meow," that was the only time I could get one out of her. thats how it was with my dog, down to the stair sides 
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Nov 2, 2019 22:56
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Ugato posted:sorry it wasn’t a big moment. glad it wasn’t a big moment. Yeah it was funny it was Hey I think I'm a girl? "Yeah I kinda guessed when you bought clothes fr.tjr women's section and talked about being unhappy with your boymode jackets because they were distinctly masc" Oh ok cool
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Nov 3, 2019 00:24
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Ugato posted:sorry it wasn’t a big moment. glad it wasn’t a big moment. Yeah it was funny it was Hey I think I'm a girl? "Yeah I kinda guessed when you bought clothes fr.tjr women's section and talked about being unhappy with your boymode jackets because they were distinctly masc" Oh ok cool
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Nov 3, 2019 00:25
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got any sevens posted:thats how it was with my dog, down to the stair sides  We don't deserve cats and dogs. I've been putting off getting another pet for so long now, but I think after Christmas, I'm gonna head down to the local shelter and find a nice older kitty who needs a home. 
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Nov 3, 2019 03:09
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:I came out to my partner today. It was incredibly anti climactic Stay strong. 
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Nov 3, 2019 03:21
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I just feel sad about being trans and wish I wasn't. I don't get where I'm supposed to find pride in it because it just feels like it makes me a target for right wing people to hurt and the amount of money I have to spend to feel good about myself just drives me to further stress and depression. I sometimes contemplate just ditching this account and re-regging, never to mention being trans again, because I can't stand the paranoia that I get from thinking some weird stalker on another site is looking at my posts.
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Nov 3, 2019 04:21
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Chokes McGee posted:hi all crafts are important to give you a sense of fulfillment Is ... is this ... the specter haunting Europe? Side note: is it normal to dissociate while doing astronomy and come to a few hours later, a mile away?
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Nov 3, 2019 05:12
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SunAndSpring posted:I just feel sad about being trans and wish I wasn't. I don't get where I'm supposed to find pride in it because it just feels like it makes me a target for right wing people to hurt and the amount of money I have to spend to feel good about myself just drives me to further stress and depression. I sometimes contemplate just ditching this account and re-regging, never to mention being trans again, because I can't stand the paranoia that I get from thinking some weird stalker on another site is looking at my posts. From a practical perspective do what you need to to be safe, but from a subjective standpoint: don't give the pricks the satisfaction
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Nov 3, 2019 05:55
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GWBBQ posted:Is ... is this ... the specter haunting Europe? yes human. that is a perfectly normal thing for you to do. us. us humans, I mean.
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Nov 3, 2019 05:59
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GWBBQ posted:Is ... is this ... the specter haunting Europe? Let us know if you start compulsively making scale models of natural landmarks
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Nov 3, 2019 14:59
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GWBBQ posted:Is ... is this ... the specter haunting Europe? The spectrum of "normal" starts to stretch when you're high as a kite.
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Nov 3, 2019 15:04
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congrats on astral projecting
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Nov 3, 2019 17:42
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mekyabetsu posted:
Do it! When I got my cat they told me that kittens last about an hour in the shelter but that older cats can linger there for months! My cat is 5 and she had been there for a while just because she wasn't a kitten. They have so much love to give. Best of luck finding a good friend 
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Nov 3, 2019 18:37
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my therapist switched me from meeting regularly to what are essentially maintenance/tune-up appointments every 6 weeks or so. So that's progress but because I work remotely and don't have a ton of friends I kind of miss having someone to talk to every week. Kind of pathetic, I guess. Yesterday I found more of my ex fiance's stuff and threw it out without feeling anything. Running has been really good to me but I injured my knees and have to take several weeks off, so I'm dreading more time alone in my apartment.
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Nov 3, 2019 18:45
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PsychedelicWarlord posted:my therapist switched me from meeting regularly to what are essentially maintenance/tune-up appointments every 6 weeks or so. So that's progress but because I work remotely and don't have a ton of friends I kind of miss having someone to talk to every week. Kind of pathetic, I guess. Yesterday I found more of my ex fiance's stuff and threw it out without feeling anything. Running has been really good to me but I injured my knees and have to take several weeks off, so I'm dreading more time alone in my apartment. here is something to cheer you (and the rest of the thread up) someone discovered it while we were doing the weekly Yume 2kki LP on PSP TV https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMUEFZXkmDA
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Nov 3, 2019 20:28
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also I was playing that to help me wake up from my nap a few minutes ago, and MY WIFE stopped in the hallway and gave me a look of genuine concern asking "everything ok over there" shoobeedoobeedooba IT'S A SECRET
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Nov 3, 2019 20:35
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PsychedelicWarlord posted:Do it! When I got my cat they told me that kittens last about an hour in the shelter but that older cats can linger there for months! My cat is 5 and she had been there for a while just because she wasn't a kitten. They have so much love to give. Best of luck finding a good friend if my cats shed their mortal coil and I can deal with that I'd definitely go for an older cat. kitten are cute but total monsters
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Nov 3, 2019 22:23
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Chokes McGee posted:here is something to cheer you (and the rest of the thread up) lol this is going to be in my head for the next week
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Nov 3, 2019 23:09
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Consummate Professional posted:if my cats shed their mortal coil and I can deal with that I'd definitely go for an older cat. kitten are cute but total monsters i got a cat who is around 9 or 10 and it's very nice, i'd definitely recommend it. a good combination of the nice feeling of giving a less wanted cat a home and also having a very sweet cat
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Nov 4, 2019 00:59
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PsychedelicWarlord posted:Do it! When I got my cat they told me that kittens last about an hour in the shelter but that older cats can linger there for months! My cat is 5 and she had been there for a while just because she wasn't a kitten. They have so much love to give. Best of luck finding a good friend Its true. Everyone claims that they want a kitten, and kittens can be a lot of fun, but they also tend to be little chaos elementals until around 9-12 months of age. Theres also the unfortunate truth that older cats are closer to death, but a kitten you adopt at 6 months old could die at 15 years and a cat you adopt at 5 years old could die at 20. Also, learning how to deal with death is maybe not the worst skill to have these days. I adopted my last cat when she was around 4 years old, and she was my best friend for 11 years.
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Nov 4, 2019 01:44
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This thread is genuinely a beautiful thing and I'm happy it's here.
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Nov 4, 2019 03:11
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mekyabetsu posted:Its true. Everyone claims that they want a kitten, and kittens can be a lot of fun, but they also tend to be little chaos elementals until around 9-12 months of age. Theres also the unfortunate truth that older cats are closer to death, but a kitten you adopt at 6 months old could die at 15 years and a cat you adopt at 5 years old could die at 20. Also, learning how to deal with death is maybe not the worst skill to have these days. I adopted my oldest when she was 2. She's pushing 20 now and literally every vet that examines her gets told her age and goes WTF NO GET OUT. I've known her longer than my wife
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Nov 4, 2019 07:12
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PsychedelicWarlord posted:lol this is going to be in my head for the next week hamabamblambalam ITS A SECRET it's even better if you know about Nikki Yume characters because that's Uboa doing the freestyling, Madotsuki on the computer trying to ignore them, and Poniko passed out on the sofa going WILL YOU GODDAMN WEIRDOS JUST GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
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Nov 4, 2019 07:13
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SunAndSpring posted:I just feel sad about being trans and wish I wasn't. I don't get where I'm supposed to find pride in it because it just feels like it makes me a target for right wing people to hurt and the amount of money I have to spend to feel good about myself just drives me to further stress and depression. I sometimes contemplate just ditching this account and re-regging, never to mention being trans again, because I can't stand the paranoia that I get from thinking some weird stalker on another site is looking at my posts. If it makes you feel better I definitely have weird off site stalkers and mostly it's just bizarre
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Nov 4, 2019 07:42
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