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Virgin goon: tell your partner. Being honest is a turn on, and this person will probably make your first time really special. Have fun!
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Oct 30, 2019 14:08
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Yeah, I'm gonna say just be open and honest with her as well. And don't be nervous. Losing your virginity, and sex in general, isn't a big deal so just have fun!
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Oct 30, 2019 14:53
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I'm glad most of my memories are either forgotten or blurring together, but maybe that's just me.
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Oct 30, 2019 15:00
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I'm glad most of my memories are either forgotten or blurring together, but maybe that's just me. I'm getting close to 40 years old, and pretty much the only stuff that I actually remember is the lovely stuff.
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Oct 30, 2019 15:41
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I too am glad I've shed my extraneous form, memories and desires, and am now content simply to clean a pool finally knowing true satisfaction.
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Oct 30, 2019 15:42
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Good memory goon are you sure you're not just misremembering having a good memory?
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Oct 30, 2019 15:50
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fearless goon, i might suggest that you chop off your dick, as you will never forget the experience, and if you ever start to feel scared just think back to how powerful you felt in that moment, good luck!
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Oct 30, 2019 16:31
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Yeah I think it was easier to remember stuff before life was a relentless, monotonous grind
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Oct 31, 2019 07:05
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sugar free jazz posted:fearless goon, i might suggest that you chop off your dick, as you will never forget the experience, and if you ever start to feel scared just think back to how powerful you felt in that moment, good luck! I was worried you had abandoned us. Keep on doing the lord's work.
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Nov 1, 2019 18:29
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quote:I'm a late 20's closeted bi guy who for the past year or so has fantasized about hooking up with a dude but I just can't bring myself to do it. I've talked to a therapist about it and she was totally great at helping me feel okay with exploring my sexuality but in the back of my mind I keep asking myself "am I actually bi or do I just like gay porn?" which I know sounds silly. If you don't want a quick hookup I dunno if Grindr is the place for you  I guess I'm probably not the definitive source on this since I've never used it but I was under the impression it was mainly for hookups. There are plenty of non-Grindr dating sites for you to meet guys on if you're too stressed/skeeved by Grindr quote:Not really a confession but I need some advice, but can't ask any of my friends for what are about to be obvious reasons. I'd talk to her more about it honestly, that's probably the avenue you can act through that causes the least drama/fallout for you Of course that doesn't stop him from cheating with someone else, but if he does that it sort of falls outside the realm of your responsibility so
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Nov 1, 2019 18:34
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Just go out to a gay bar or a bar in a gay neighborhood and talk to people, closeted goon. If you talk to someone who seems nice and funny and isn't too aggressive, maybe give them a chance. You don't need to compromise on the transactional part and Grindr, just find someone who you like and likes you, and don't rush it because it doesn't need to happen tomorrow. Also, there might be other apps besides Grindr that suit your preferences better, although I'm not an expert in that or any field.
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Nov 1, 2019 18:38
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Closet goon - I'm not gay, but all of the dating apps ask about sexual preference and Bi is one of them. I've had a lot of good luck with OKCupid for finding people I actually connect with. Hinge is pretty good also. Guy sleeping with who sleeps with married friend goon - You have no responsibility on that side of it. Deciding where that leaves you and your FWB is where your involvement ends. Full stop.
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Nov 1, 2019 20:52
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Married friend goon. You need to ask who is better in bed, you or your friend. Also which of you has a bigger dong, who is better at box eating etc... If you're better at it then your friend, then leave him be. If you're worse than him, then have a "talk".
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Nov 1, 2019 21:24
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If you tell him and he also finds out you were/are loving her he is going to assume you are ruining his poo poo over jealousy and it won't go well.
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Nov 1, 2019 23:16
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He just got married he’s really not allowed to be jealous lol
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Nov 2, 2019 00:14
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Closet goon - maybe you could be a third with a couple? Then you can learn from someone you also can have fun with.
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Nov 2, 2019 01:55
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Tell the cheater husband to open the relationship and then hook them up with bi-goon. Success all around.
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Nov 2, 2019 02:54
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quote:I would be ashamed to work for Uber or any of these food delivery app jobs. I understand people have to do what they have to do. I understand people have kids, people have bills, and that some people don't even mind doing these sorts of jobs. I mean, your anger is correct at its core but you definitely seem to be mad at the wrong people. Be mad at the people running these companies, be mad at the people who let things get this bad, don't be mad at the people who you admit are just doing what they have to do to survive. also uh you in fact cannot pay a ten-year-old to be a taxi driver quote:I am so goddamn constipated. Everyday I have to dig poo poo out of my rear end with my finger wrapped in toilet paper. It's so unpleasant and upsetting to do this, but I've gotten used to it as an effective method of getting out my poo poo. I mean, see a specialist You said you've talked to doctors but I really don't think an expert in this field would say "eat more fiber" and have nothing else to contribute after you tell them you're already doing it. I say get on a daily fiber pill (you can get them at CVS or whatever), stay on it diligently for long enough for it to count for due-diligence purposes, and then try to figure out who the best gastroenterologist in your area is and give them a call. Also FWIW non-anonymous confession I have IBS (hence my knowledge of daily fiber pills) and probiotics definitely help. It seems like pseudoscience but they do, at least for me.
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Nov 5, 2019 14:51
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LoL imagine being such a caveman that you think “backbreaking physical labor” is somehow viewed by anyone as more respectable. The only thing anyone envies about construction workers is the legendary union pension plans of the 80’s and 90’s. You’re also obviously not responsible for anyone’s health and well-being, what’s more respectable, feeding your kid and keeping them in new clothes because you can pay your bills or holding out for a real job by splitting a frozen TV dinner? LoL god dude for your sake I hope that’s fake.
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Nov 5, 2019 15:03
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loquacius posted:I mean, your anger is correct at its core but you definitely seem to be mad at the wrong people. Be mad at the people running these companies, be mad at the people who let things get this bad, don't be mad at the people who you admit are just doing what they have to do to survive. He needs to drink that poo poo they give you for a colonoscopy. That'll drive the ancient evil out
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Nov 5, 2019 16:01
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He should spray a shower up he own butthole
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Nov 5, 2019 16:21
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Mad at Uber guy is really working hard to put down people who are trying to make a living. There’s nothing shameful about driving people around or delivering goods, it’s a job. Can’t poop guy: 1. Get an enema. The contents of your colon will fly out of you. 2. Probiotics, as mentioned above. Load up on them. Gut bacteria is a huge factor in how these things work. 3. See a specialist. Then see another one until you’re pooping regularly.
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Nov 5, 2019 16:49
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loquacius posted:I am so goddamn constipated. Everyday I have to dig poo poo out of my rear end with my finger wrapped in toilet paper. It's so unpleasant and upsetting to do this, but I've gotten used to it as an effective method of getting out my poo poo. Can you go see a doctor about uh, serious problems? Like "assume it's cancer" problems. I mean, I'll start this with: You need to see a doctor who will take you seriously and maybe you'll have to do a colonoscopy. Out of the top of my head: A) Your intestine may get sore or irritated because of the food you are eating. This can range from too much salt or spicy things to not enough water to too much water in some extreme cases. I would suggest stopping the soda and alcohol completely, drink only regular water for a few weeks, get well hydrated, and see what happens. B) Stress can induce both peristalsis irregularities as well as non-malignant growths that will also temporarily affect your peristalsis. These can block movement from 1 to 2 weeks. In the case of both A and B, laxatives are not gonna do you a lot of good. Sorbitol works as an enema but do not take that as a recommendation because they're usually coupled with carcinogens and they have the compounded problem of working as reverse probiotics (I mean, I don't want to call them antibiotics, but if you're filling your guts with detergents... then yeah). Mannitol is what people used to clean up for colonoscopies but, again, go check on a doctor before because those things are not pretty. C) On the subject of fiber: I'm really sorry to go there, but have you tried whole-grain seeded bread? The ones that taste like garbage and you're basically chewing on seed. These tend to be more efficient than metamucil, and tend to work well together. D) Have you consulted a nutritionist and see how your body react to a vegan diet? Is your main source of protein meat? Meat can seriously slow down the process due to a myriad of reasons, especially if you at some point went on a ketogenic diet. If you're mostly a meat-eater consult a nutriotionist to see if it's possible to get a healthy change on your diet and see how your body adapts to it. E) Are your levels of Vitamin D acceptable? Supplements usually don't go as hard on those. The notion that calcium and vitamin D are associated with reduction of issues in the intestinal wall is an old anecdote that gastroenterology professionals brought up but the studies are usually positive and there are multiple sources of correlation (including low levels being associated with a disruption of the circadian rhythm leading your bowels not to move when they should and essentially "skipping a beat". Also, last but not least: F) To reiterate, there are multiple types of growths on the intestinal tract that can block passage. Not all of them are malignant and some of them behave like allergic reactions to food you eat. Some are treated with corticosteroids. All of these issues compound on one other, which makes hard to find a proper diagnostic without the correct battery of exams that you should be taking. I don't think people pay enough attention when medics say just how sensitive your bowels are to everything else you do. I've seen constipations coupled with accute abdominal pain going away with benzodiazepines (WARNING: POISON. WARNING: POISON). Anyway I hope I was somewhat helpful. Please don't do anything without medical follow-up. Elentor fucked around with this message at 17:18 on Nov 5, 2019 |
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Nov 5, 2019 17:03
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poo poo goon: Drink lots of water. Like a ton, all day everday. Take Miralax every day Take magnesium supplements every day If you do all that and it doesn't work you need to get to a doctor asap because you've probably got some serious underlying issues
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Nov 5, 2019 17:18
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I appreciate the new serfs of neo-feudalism because they make things like cleaning, transportation, grocery shopping, etc much easier at a cheap price because it is distributed across multiple new gentry. I look forward to the revolution and a more equitable world. But I will miss the sheer convenience this world order affords me at the expense of others. The least you can do is be kind to the victims of the current order. You should do more! But holding the poor in contempt is some weird protestant poo poo that has no place in civil society.
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Nov 5, 2019 17:28
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Elentor posted:Can you go see a doctor about uh, serious problems? Like "assume it's cancer" problems. I mean, I'll start this with: You need to see a doctor who will take you seriously and maybe you'll have to do a colonoscopy. drat, are you some kind of poop necromancer?
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Nov 5, 2019 17:39
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I'm not trying to be helpful, but just wanted to share that whenever I drink bouillon or a stock cube in hot water I get uncontrollable shits for an hour or so afterwards. Thanks for reading my post.
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Nov 5, 2019 17:46
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Shbobdb posted:I appreciate the new serfs of neo-feudalism because they make things like cleaning, transportation, grocery shopping, etc much easier at a cheap price because it is distributed across multiple new gentry. Tldr: I treat my slaves nice, I'm not a bad guy!
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Nov 5, 2019 17:46
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Rad-daddio posted:drat, are you some kind of poop necromancer? My dad is/was a biologist, I have had to witness and deal with colon cancer more than once, but to be honest the biggest source of knowledge I had was this eccentric rich proctologist who only attended 4 people a day three days a week, always arrived late (I'm talking about officially opening 2 PM and only arriving 6 PM) because of some House MD-level surgery he had to do, and he treated every appointment like a class ranging from 90 to 120 minutes. "I'm here to talk about my impending exam" means he'd be ready to show you 2 hours worthy of powerpoint presentations, youtube videos, book references, x-rays and I wish I could say blackboards but the powerpoint files were so thorough. "And this is why when someone suffers a spinal injury, they have to implant this here" * shows horribly gory powerpoint slider. You could tell he felt real, genuine, bona-fide pleasure and joy in teaching people about the intestine and when I asked him about it he nonchalantly said "if I lectured in a university everyone would be listening out of obligation but everyone here feels like they can take something useful to their own lives." Elentor fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Nov 5, 2019 |
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Nov 5, 2019 19:18
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Constipated Goon posted:I am so goddamn constipated. Everyday I have to dig poo poo out of my rear end with my finger wrapped in toilet paper. It's so unpleasant and upsetting to do this, but I've gotten used to it as an effective method of getting out my poo poo. I'm curious about what this person eats. I have a feeling their diet is composed of unhealthy poo poo or something and they don't want to change it.
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Nov 5, 2019 20:01
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D-Pad posted:poo poo goon: fixed
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Nov 5, 2019 20:13
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soy posted:fixed Yeah I was gonna say he's a bit past the "otc medication and drink some water" phase if he's been living like this his entire life
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Nov 5, 2019 20:23
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One of the bankers I work with drives for Uber on his way to and from work everyday. Dude makes six figures and still does that as a way to pay for his gas.
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Nov 5, 2019 20:31
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Solice Kirsk posted:One of the bankers I work with drives for Uber on his way to and from work everyday. Dude makes six figures and still does that as a way to pay for his gas. what a fuckin idiot
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Nov 5, 2019 20:47
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You have no idea.
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Nov 5, 2019 21:10
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purple death ray posted:Yeah I was gonna say he's a bit past the "otc medication and drink some water" phase if he's been living like this his entire life I mean I don't disagree, but we are talking about a goon who thinks digging his own impacted poo poo out of his rear end is normal. I'd bet a lot of money all his liquid intake is mountain dew or some poo poo. Definitely get to a doctor, but I wouldn't be surprised at all it it's something as simple as hydration. Miralax makes your colon absorb less water and magnesium helps too. When I was young I thought it was normal to get headaches constantly and it wasn't until I was older I realized I just wasn't hydrating well enough. Constipation was an issue then too.
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Nov 5, 2019 22:15
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Solice Kirsk posted:One of the bankers I work with drives for Uber on his way to and from work everyday. Dude makes six figures and still does that as a way to pay for his gas. Yeah well he might get cancer one day and then all his millions in savings will be gone in like 2 years.
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Nov 5, 2019 22:29
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I want to bet poop confessor is going to come back and say they drink a gently caress ton of poppy tea or something and that's why their rear end chute is broken.
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Nov 6, 2019 06:33
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i mean on this forum it's equally possible that they're just literally a heroin addict and haven't figured it out
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Nov 6, 2019 06:40
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Solice Kirsk posted:One of the bankers I work with drives for Uber on his way to and from work everyday. Dude makes six figures and still does that as a way to pay for his gas. Wasn't this how Uber was supposed to work in the very beginning? Dudes giving rides to other dudes when they were bored for gas/beer money? Before uber turned into the tumor it is now
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Nov 6, 2019 07:17
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