TRUPPP 1044: "We're building the slock rocket"

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > TRUPPP 1044: "We're building the slock rocket"

Addamere: Jan 3, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

univbee posted:

Results from interviews can be pretty inconsistent, some interviews are done literally just to check off a box with HR and you don't actually have a chance of being hired no matter how amazingly you do. I think this is especially true if you're not an able-bodied white male, as HR may mandate a certain number of women/visible minorities/disabled are interviewed, but even so a lot of jobs can be like "well we really want to hire this person we know but HR requires that we post the job for public applications so..."

Even in supposedly well-intentioned places like community colleges or other public entities this is true. An anecdote from my personal life is for about three months there was talk about how this one person should be bumped up from their position to a higher position but institute policy required the job be publicly posted for at least two weeks. So they went through all the time of scheduling interviews and all that, only to eventually give the job to the person we knew months in advance was going to get it. In this particular case I'm not really bothered because they were vastly overqualified for the position they were currently in as well as overqualified for the position they would be filling, but like that is its own can of worms because at that point you are just artificially inflating the credential floor for positions because like now the person they hire to be above that person needs to have at least their level of education even though it should really only require a bachelor's at most and blah blah blah public service and union contract stuff can get confusing but at the end of the day the thing you gotta remember is fuckin' AFSCME don't take poo poo from nobody � you got that, rear end in a top hat?

# ? Nov 4, 2019 10:35

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# ? May 30, 2024 15:00

Bulgakov: Mar 8, 2009; рукописи не горят

one thing I do love about the cool weather seasons are leaving my bedroom windows wide open and huddling under a massive pile of blankets in chilly conditions

# ? Nov 4, 2019 10:43

Addamere: Jan 3, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Gonna go splash around in a different pool today

# ? Nov 4, 2019 10:47

smarxist: Jul 26, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

*takes a hit off vape* Annie Lennox is the white Grace Jones

# ? Nov 4, 2019 10:56

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k

Mustached Demon posted:

Act like you dunk on 12 year olds

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:08

Former DILF: Jul 13, 2017

Mustached Demon posted:

Act like you're drunk on 12 year olds

dan harmon show yourself

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:14

smarxist: Jul 26, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Kurtofan posted:

How do i kill an interviews

come in high energy and be "on", big smile upon meeting, firm handshake, thank them for their time, then shut up and let them get through their intro spiel until they ask something

anything they ask you, say the best possible sounding affirmative thing, usually they start by asking what you were able to learn about the company and what they do from their website, mention checking it out, and at least two things in specific you learned

then you get into your current job a bit, never say you're unemployed ever ever ever ever ever (this goes for everyone), your resume should have your last job until "Present" even if you've been looking for 6 months (if you nail the interview, they don't do employment verification, some don't anyway, if they do you don't wanna work there any way, trust me), you're always looking for a new job because you feel like you're not getting the opportunity to advance that you're looking for at your current position, you want growth potential (management or team leads or bigger projects, w/e)

once you start getting into the gamut of questions, that's where you can do rapport building, what department is the interviewer in? are they a manager or just an HR person? if the former, ask them about some process they're likely really familiar with, they love explaining that poo poo to people, even if you're totally familiar with it already, let them outline it, and then be like "ah yes, very familiar with me because [relay experience]"

then they ask you a few culture fit questions, how you handle stress, how do you handle chain of command, etc. sometimes they'll phrase the question in a way where there's some gray area if its a hypothetical, always acknowledge the fact that they've established a gray area or situation, "well of course I'd want to get the client taken care of as quickly as possible, but [corporate chapter and verse]" or w/e, basically, talk through the whole situation back at them in your own words, sound collected and calm as you go through what your process to solve the problem would be

i can't stress enough how far rapport building goes. interviews are to make sure they don't hire uncoachable psychopaths nobody will like working with. ask them specifics about the poo poo they do day in day out when you can, laugh if they crack a joke (short, understated, but genuine, please know how to fake genuine laugh), seem good natured and put them over

towards the end, start making assumptive statements about the job if it feels like its going well, like asking what the next steps are, specifics about holidays, etc. anything that sounds like "I'll be working here", if the interviewer feels like you'll be working there too, they'll jump into it with you and usually give away the game of if its a thumbs up or not

if it was borderline, ask when you can expect to hear something, and call back mid afternoon that day for a follow up.

interviews are easy, just shove your real self into a closet for a half hour and turn into a complete toolbox for corporate hierarchy

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:25

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

802.11weed posted:

pain isn�t the problem, the money is

thread title

on every thread

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:26

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

Kurtofan posted:

How do i kill an interviews

Bring a gun.

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:27

ScrubLeague: Feb 11, 2007; Nap Ghost

Bulgakov posted:

mba more like

me? big rear end!

lmao if you go for anything other than a bba, everyone i know with an mba has been unemployed for more than a year in their adult lives

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:35

Addamere: Jan 3, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

ScrubLeague posted:

lmao if you go for anything other than a bba, everyone i know with an mba has been unemployed for more than a year in their adult lives

Sounds like everyone you know with an MBA is privileged enough to not have to work for an extended period of time to survive. Happy for them!

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:42

Finicums Wake: Mar 13, 2017; Can't post for 8 years!

smarxist posted:

come in high energy and be "on", big smile upon meeting, firm handshake, thank them for their time, then shut up and let them get through their intro spiel until they ask something

anything they ask you, say the best possible sounding affirmative thing, usually they start by asking what you were able to learn about the company and what they do from their website, mention checking it out, and at least two things in specific you learned

then you get into your current job a bit, never say you're unemployed ever ever ever ever ever (this goes for everyone), your resume should have your last job until "Present" even if you've been looking for 6 months (if you nail the interview, they don't do employment verification, some don't anyway, if they do you don't wanna work there any way, trust me), you're always looking for a new job because you feel like you're not getting the opportunity to advance that you're looking for at your current position, you want growth potential (management or team leads or bigger projects, w/e)

once you start getting into the gamut of questions, that's where you can do rapport building, what department is the interviewer in? are they a manager or just an HR person? if the former, ask them about some process they're likely really familiar with, they love explaining that poo poo to people, even if you're totally familiar with it already, let them outline it, and then be like "ah yes, very familiar with me because [relay experience]"

then they ask you a few culture fit questions, how you handle stress, how do you handle chain of command, etc. sometimes they'll phrase the question in a way where there's some gray area if its a hypothetical, always acknowledge the fact that they've established a gray area or situation, "well of course I'd want to get the client taken care of as quickly as possible, but [corporate chapter and verse]" or w/e, basically, talk through the whole situation back at them in your own words, sound collected and calm as you go through what your process to solve the problem would be

i can't stress enough how far rapport building goes. interviews are to make sure they don't hire uncoachable psychopaths nobody will like working with. ask them specifics about the poo poo they do day in day out when you can, laugh if they crack a joke (short, understated, but genuine, please know how to fake genuine laugh), seem good natured and put them over

towards the end, start making assumptive statements about the job if it feels like its going well, like asking what the next steps are, specifics about holidays, etc. anything that sounds like "I'll be working here", if the interviewer feels like you'll be working there too, they'll jump into it with you and usually give away the game of if its a thumbs up or not

if it was borderline, ask when you can expect to hear something, and call back mid afternoon that day for a follow up.

interviews are easy, just shove your real self into a closet for a half hour and turn into a complete toolbox for corporate hierarchy

quoting this so i can find it again if i ever try to re-enter the workforce

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:47

ScrubLeague: Feb 11, 2007; Nap Ghost

Addamere posted:

Sounds like everyone you know with an MBA is privileged enough to not have to work for an extended period of time to survive. Happy for them!

three of their four marriages ended in that time

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:48

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

New wall prototype:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_IA-8nQ4FY

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:48

Mustached Demon: Nov 12, 2016

Sounds like getting an MBA is loving stupid

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:49

Addamere: Jan 3, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Mustached Demon posted:

Sounds like getting an MBA is loving stupid

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:49

smarxist: Jul 26, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

i can safely say that i will never get an MBA and it is for bitch fuckers

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:52

Cithen: Mar 6, 2002; Pillbug

it's another morning in the republic :sun:

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:52

802.11weed: May 9, 2007; ^no

mornimp

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:53

Mustached Demon: Nov 12, 2016

MBAs are for assholes who saw boneitis guy on Futurama and went "yeah I wanna be that guy"

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:53

lorn Wayne: Jan 7, 2006

Mustached Demon posted:

MBAs are for assholes who saw boneitis guy on Futurama and went "yeah I wanna be that guy"

but it's true tho

it's all about image. gently caress if the product works

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:54

smarxist: Jul 26, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

https://twitter.com/ShitpostBot5000/status/1191195914699976704

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:57

Mustached Demon: Nov 12, 2016

lorn Wayne posted:

but it's true tho

it's all about image. gently caress if the product works

They also only add value to society when the wet the guillotine

# ? Nov 4, 2019 11:57

my new dog: May 7, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo

whats this about snart helg. the helg is over. gently caress

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:04

Ayn Randi: Mar 12, 2009; Grimey Drawer

Mustached Demon posted:

Sounds like getting an MBA is loving stupid

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:10

Lord of Pie: Mar 2, 2007

my new dog posted:

whats this about snart helg. the helg is over. gently caress

that's where the snart comes in

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:13

Addamere: Jan 3, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

helgef�lelse at critical levels :eng99:

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:16

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k

Trimp? https://twitter.com/fin_costick/status/1182333947361005568?s=19

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:17

smarxist: Jul 26, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

i'm really high and doing t hat thing where all my movements are exaggerated and robotic

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:21

ArmedZombie: Jun 6, 2004

ScrubLeague posted:

lmao if you go for anything other than a bba, everyone i know with an mba has been unemployed for more than a year in their adult lives

MBA s are only worth it for networking at "top" schools, if you're into that kind of thing

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:21

802.11weed: May 9, 2007; ^no

love 2 abruptly lose all interest in something i liked two days ago :sax:

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:25

swampcow: Jul 4, 2011

smarxist posted:

*takes a hit off vape* Annie Lennox is the white Grace Jones

holy shhit

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:25

Addamere: Jan 3, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

802.11weed posted:

love 2 abruptly lose all interest in something i liked two days ago

depression comes at you fast

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:30

ASenileAnimal: Dec 21, 2017

tupm

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:32

The Alpha Centauri: Feb 15, 2019

Had a crazy intense nicotine induced dream that there were massive riots across the country and it all started in Chicago for some reason

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:33

Addamere: Jan 3, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I today learned the quality of YMCA facilities varies dramatically across venues. The one downtown that I usually go to is perfectly fine and all, but the one in this bougie suburb I decided to check out today is all kinds of super nice. There's more than one pool, there's an actual deep diving pool, there's an actual steam room as well as a dry sauna, and those things are in the locker rooms rather than being coed so you can go straight from the shower to the sauna or vice versa and not have to deal with the comparatively cold air in between them, and things are made of stone or metal instead of plastic, and just wow I had no idea the YMCA could be like this.

# ? Nov 4, 2019 12:34