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Hopkins FBI
Jan 4, 2015

MY SACRED POSTING VOW IS NOTHING, FOR WHILE I STAKED MY HONOR UPON MY COMMITMENT TO NEVER SUPPORT JOSEPH R. B. JUNIOR I HAVE SCANDALOUSLY ABANDONED MY PRINCIPLES
Gene Okerlund: Hulk Hogan, excuse me. Excuse me. What in the world are you thinking?

Hulk Hogan: Mean Gene, the first thing you gotta do is to tell these people to shut up if they want to hear what I've gotta say.
I mean it. You know what, they'll be the ones to shut up first.

Okerlund: Hulk, you don't have to tell them to shut up, but they do, now.

Hulk Hogan: [Laughs] You're so mean, you know, Okerlund.

Okerlund: Don't say nasty things about the wrestling business. It sucks. It's a terrible business.

Bret Hart: Yeah, it's a pretty rough business.

Okerlund: If you're a guy that is making more money than Bill Goldberg was during his six-year run, you're in a great situation. But in those early days, wrestling was rough and it was tough.

Okerlund: It was rough and it was scary. Some wrestlers were

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Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer
Cactus Jack: "As Terry Funk took a broken bottle and began slicing and dicing Cactus Jack, the pain was so much that I’ll be honest with you Tommy. The pain was so much that I wanted to say I quit, Terry Funk, I give, I wave the flag, and I’m a coward – please don’t cut me anymore.

Then I saw my saving grace. You see, Tommy, I looked out in that audience, my adoring crowd, and I saw two simple words that changed my life...
༼ʃ△͕◉༽."

(The crowd went silent in awe.)

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

quote:

Jake "The Snake" Roberts: You don't want to play cards with me. I cheat. I cheat. You want to play 21? I got 22. You want to play blackjack? I got two of those too. You want to play aces and eights? I got too many of those too. I have a few piles of card and dice too. You want to play cards and make money? I got it in me. You want to play poker? You got the same. You want to play games, or to be part of a good bunch of people, you gotta buy me some of those too. A good group of people, you can play one of those, and I'll pay it to you, and I'm gonna pay it to the game you're playing. You want to play games, but you don't want to get a cut of the action? I don't care. If that guy pays, I'm buying the game, and if the game's a poo poo game, I'm going to buy the loving game from that guy. If they don't want them, I'll just buy it. I pay for

21 Hoot Salute
Feb 8, 2005

Night-time, turn around
Lonely is the city tonight
Night-time, all around
Lonely in the city tonight



quote:

Kallisto: Hey, like I said, I’m here, to stay. Make, make a make a uh uh a good, good lucha, lucha … thing. GOD drat, WOO!

*The match between The Miz and the Mizdow is interrupted, the crowd boos*

JIMI KIMURA: Aaaaaaauuuuuuung!

*The crowd goes to its feet and starts chanting*

JIMI KIMURA: Hey! Hey! I need your help now! This is a situation you want to be here to help! I want you to help me, all over this match! I need you to help me!

*Mizdow begins to charge at The Miz*

MIZDOW: Whoa, whoa. You can't just hit me with every single move!

MIZDOW: I need you to attack me when you have the chance! You can never beat me if you don't attack me! And, this time, I won't stop until I knock you out!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

"Show me the numbers, Dave Meltzer" demanded Jim Cornette. So Dave Meltzer did. "Who said anything about numbers?" complained Jim Cornette. And they did. And Jim Cornette did. It's the truth. No wonder Jim called in early with what he said would be "the most explosive debate in wrestling." And there was none. "This is bullshit," Jim said. No one questioned this: Jim and Dave have each other to play with.
(Jim mentions this during the "Who said anything about numbers?" segment, where this exchange takes place.)
At this point in the show, Jim says the first number he wants you to look at when you watch the match is what Jim calls a "theoretical wall"; meaning, he could be standing there for all I care and still have him beat in a hypothetical match.
"What's the theory?" asked Meltzer. Dave pointed to the ring; "If this is real, it's called a theory, not a wall," said Jim.
___________________

"THAT'S THE THEORETICAL WALL UP THERE BROTHER!" screamed Hulk Hogan, pointing across the length of the island from the ring. "HEY THEORETICAL WALL, YOU WANT SOME, COME GET SOME!" shouted Shawn Michaels. "YEAH, GET SOME AND I'LL BRING SOME TO YOU!" Hogan and Michaels went to their respective corner and Hogan was now speaking to the crowd.

Hogan did his best Michael Jackson impression as he sang: "You've seen the old days/The last true time of the '90s/Oh look at me go, oh look at me go/You'll see, I've come to the end" . He got the audience going as he came to on the top rope as he sang: "Hey! Hey! Hello! Hello!" Hogan sang as he came to on the top rope: "Hey! Hey! Good night to y'all, good night to y'all/So you're my brother's girl, you're my sister's sister/You're my step

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

Codependent Poster posted:

The "This Is Your Life" epic involving Mick Foley, The Rock and a colourful cast of characters said to be from Rock's past remains one of the most beloved skits in WWE history. Foley's natural charm and The Rock's razor-sharp wit helped the film to become a huge hit.

The film is based on the book in which Foley describes becoming a part of the WWF with the idea that he was "wasting his years training for a career in a sports entertainment business". As with all the legends that featured in the film, Foley was also inspired by the life of an alcoholic who got his start in the WWF.

The film's success is largely credited to Foley's charisma and charisma in his role as King Kong Bundy in the film, which led to him receiving an Academy Award nomination with Rock's best supporting actress award.
Foley said: "It's not my first career, and it's not my first time acting as a part of a movie," "This Is Your Life" is in cinemas now.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Paul Heyman proclaimed that his people had invented litigation. They had perfected litigation. Paul Heyman in this moment reinforced one thousand years of antisemetic stereotyping. He followed this up by drowning a baby. And then he followed that up by drowning a cat. And then he followed that one up by drowning a man.

In other words, the entire enterprise of being a big money-maker is predicated on being a big lawsuit-maker. And now, I can't help wondering if it's all a joke.

Because at the end of the day, you can't invent anything. When you can't patent something, then you can't take it to court, can't sue somebody over it.

So why does Paul, in this case, make a whole lot of money by suing people over something that they didn't invent? Because if they were to file a lawsuit, it's not likely to be about intellectual property. This is an obvious point. This is why he's the worst guy in the world to be in the entertainment business because he believes that lawsuits are good for business.

But what is he saying in the

quote:

"Aww poo poo. Looks like the gang is gettin back together" said Stone Cold Steve Austin.

"Now now Austin, this is no big thing now. We're just going to rescue the roster from the US Embassy in Saudi Arabia" Vince said matter of factly, "Nothing you should be overly interested in"

"Yeah tell me another one" said Steve Austin as he picked up the grenade launcher.


"Howdy, guys, I need your help" Vince said. "We're going to have to put up with these little bastards for the rest of the night until we rescue the roster"

A month later after having a meeting with the US Embassy, Steve Austin and the Dudleys broke into the building with a rifle to stop the CIA.

Later in the night Austin, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bubba Ray Dudley and the Rock, as well as a whole bunch of other gang members were taken prisoner by the CIA.

The Dudleys were sent to The Rock's home in Florida which is a very remote area. The hotel which The Rock was staying was raided and locked down

New mission impossible is lit.

reignofevil fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Nov 2, 2019

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

The wrestling powers were at ill ease. Change was on the wind.

A decade ago the WWF went from being in charge of the company to the owners of it. That's when Vince McMahon, who's been in the company the longest at about 35, found himself on a downward slide and went from one of pro wrestling's top performers to a floundering man in a red fedora. That would end last year when he took a job at the Worldwide Pants Company.

That job has made him the second best-paid person in corporate America. He made $2.4 million in 2012. The president of the company, John Sperry, made only about $1.9 million. All of this came to light when McMahon resigned in disgrace and came to be under scrutiny for his use of the phrase "personal responsibility" in comments that were broadcast as a segment on the WWF programming.

This week at a conference held by Forbes, he was named "the richest person in sports," and last year was given an honor by his hometown, New Orleans. If you want to put yourself in his position, I suggest you

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Vince knew how to negotiate in moments like this. You had to let the Saudi princes know that even if they executed every single wrestler trapped in their country that Vince wouldn't have any trouble sleeping at night. He opened the skype call and per-emptively slit Shane McMahon's throat. He would not be held accountable for the killing if Shane did not, in fact, kill him to begin with. His final words were a little bit different than they would have been the day before: "The only way out is to kill yourself."

Vince pulled out of the call and immediately put himself in one of the most uncomfortable position a professional wrestler could possibly find. All of his wrestlers on the show had to work with Vince. Not one of them could have possibly been with Vince on the show without being with Mick Foley, who was now his mentor on the show. Foley asked what was really going on.

"I've been a wrestler my whole life. I didn't know what I was getting into, but I didn't want to go through anything like what I was going through," said Foley, visibly shaken

quote:

"CUT THE FEED" Vince shouted in anger. "THOSE FUCKS OWE ME SIX HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS, I SET UP A WHOLE FUCKIN FOOTBALL LEAGUE LOOKING AFTER THAT MONEY" Vince screamed to no one in particular, "I WANT EVERYONE ON THE LEAGUE SO THAT I CAN MAKE A KILL IN THE PAST AND LOOK AT THEM LIKE I JUST GARDA TURRETS AT SOMEONE AND SAY "THIS IS GONNA GET BIGGER AND BETTER AND I WANT YOU TO BE PART OF IT" JUST LET ME HAVE A FEW MILLIONTH DOLLARS! IF YOU DONT YOU WILL MAKE ME SICK OF YOU!" "WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T PAY YOU IN TIME" Vince growled, "I WILL SUE THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE AND I WILL GET YOUR JOB! I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU BACK THAT MONEY!" "STOP YOU BITCH!! I WILL SHOW YOU THAT YOU RAPED MY rear end!!! EVERY

reignofevil fucked around with this message at 00:15 on Nov 3, 2019

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


I couldn't decide which of these was the best, so have them all.

quote:

Cody chuckled softly to himself as he saw WWE, Inc.'s stock price fall minute by minute, first by 1%, then by 2%, then 5%, then 10%. "Time to celebrate with a little bit of the bubbly." He shook his head, feeling a little bit sorry for Vince. "What about you, Vince?"

Vince smiled, holding out an ice bucket. "Ice. What is that?"

"It's the ice bucket challenge, Vince," Cody smirked. "I'm gonna make you run out to that little ice bucket and fill it with soda and watch that little guy drink it!"

Vince laughed, shaking his head. "I'm not doing the ice bucket challenge now, dude. I'm gonna make that little guy try to take his ice bucket from me. He'll get to see it in slow motion, and his face will go wide open just like the movie!" He winked at his friend. "Watch that. Then come back here again when he's finished trying."

Cody smiled, leaning back and reaching over to grab the ice bucket with a quick snap of his fingers. He looked at it,


quote:

Cody chuckled softly to himself as he saw WWE, Inc.'s stock price fall minute by minute, first by 1%, then by 2%, then 5%, then 10%. "Time to celebrate with a little bit of the bubbly."

"We gotta celebrate!" The boys cheered as they watched the numbers slowly but surely plummeting.

"This is awesome!" Randy screamed with excitement.

"You'll see!" Paul said, before giving Cody a hard smack on the cheek.

"We'll take it man!" Randy cheered as he grabbed a bag of chips and held it up to the screen.

"Yummy!" Paul exclaimed happily.

Everyone else in the room was now cheering wildly.

Then suddenly, an announcement came over the PA system that the WWE World Heavyweight Championship was up for grabs today. WWE's Corporate Headquarters, in Stamford, Connecticut, quickly sprung the call into action. The call was made over the PA system at the start of the show.

John Cena was declared the new champion for WWE, Inc.

quote:

Cody chuckled softly to himself as he saw WWE, Inc.'s stock price fall minute by minute, first by 1%, then by 2%, then 5%, then 10%. "Time to celebrate with a little bit of the bubbly."

"This is our world. This is the World Wrestling Entertainment Corporation, and we've got a bunch of bumbling characters who are just going to try to make a buck on something. This is WWE, Inc. and I don't need to tell you what it means to my company to create something. All I need to say is, 'Oh no, we've got someone who is completely incompetent, and his name's The Undertaker!'"

Cody looked down to his feet and said, "Undertaker is a genius!"

Hopkins FBI
Jan 4, 2015

MY SACRED POSTING VOW IS NOTHING, FOR WHILE I STAKED MY HONOR UPON MY COMMITMENT TO NEVER SUPPORT JOSEPH R. B. JUNIOR I HAVE SCANDALOUSLY ABANDONED MY PRINCIPLES
I hosed up badly on this one, I apologize guys. Mel's PMs to me gave me a very different perception of his situation to what he ended up posting but that is it. I was pretty upset and told Mel he needs to focus more on the girls and less he focused on the porn, I felt like this would be the only way I could keep my integrity in this community as I had promised, because I know what these girls are like. I also told Mel that I was going to start writing a blog again, which I have done to put myself out there again. I never expected him to reply quickly enough, but I never expected him to say "gently caress you" in one of our PMs, it was crazy. I mean, I said I'm a whore not a sinner anymore and I want all the porn back and to stop using the N word. How the gently caress am I going to get rid of all these people who are still on my computer? The funny thing was, he gave me permission to repost his email from our last chat to say that I was wrong to use the N word on

Hopkins FBI
Jan 4, 2015

MY SACRED POSTING VOW IS NOTHING, FOR WHILE I STAKED MY HONOR UPON MY COMMITMENT TO NEVER SUPPORT JOSEPH R. B. JUNIOR I HAVE SCANDALOUSLY ABANDONED MY PRINCIPLES
Hulk Hogan: I mean, I’d rather if she was going to gently caress some n---er, I’d rather have her marry an 8-foot-tall man or a black woman. It seems that way, it seems that way.

A.J. Styles: I was talking to Hulk and he said,

Hulk Hogan: I would like you to loving kill yourself.

A.J. Styles: I can handle that.

Hulk Hogan: I didn't mean it that way. I meant it. But yeah, it's a different world now.

A.J. Styles: It is. All of a sudden, I don't have to think about my dick and think about how much I have. It's okay now. I mean, it still feels that way, but it's a different world in there.

WWE.com: Hulk and his son are very active on social media; on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. How much do you think it's influenced your social media presence in general this year?

A.J.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Hopkins FBI posted:

Hulk Hogan: I mean, I’d rather if she was going to gently caress some n---er, I’d rather have her marry an 8-foot-tall man or a black woman. It seems that way, it seems that way.

A.J. Styles: I was talking to Hulk and he said,

Hulk Hogan: I would like you to loving kill yourself.

A.J. Styles: I can handle that.

Hulk Hogan: I didn't mean it that way. I meant it. But yeah, it's a different world now.

A.J. Styles: It is. All of a sudden, I don't have to think about my dick and think about how much I have. It's okay now. I mean, it still feels that way, but it's a different world in there.

WWE.com: Hulk and his son are very active on social media; on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. How much do you think it's influenced your social media presence in general this year?

A.J.

This one is incredible

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

The WWE Stink. Chris Jericho for clearing out The WWE Stink. Chris Jericho for blowing my minds for a week or two. Chris Jericho for giving the WWE Stink a name. Chris Jericho for giving the WWE Stink a sense of purpose. Chris Jericho for a long time I was in disbelief that he was The World's Greatest Athlete.

I guess that's why he has such an immense fan base now that the stinky thing is now a verb. The WWE stinks. Chris Jericho.

– Chris

quote:

The New Day ate some pancakes in the studio. It was the first time they were eating together. They were so happy to be back!

"People ask me all the time, what is different between the two of you," New Day co-hosts Sam Collins and Bayley said in a video of the moment.

"We kind of look at each other, like, I need you," Collins said.

"I think it's very comfortable where we're at," said New Day co-host Damien Sandow on Friday morning.

The New Day hosts took over New Day Wednesday. In between singing their own praises about New Day frontman Big Boi's return and taking questions from the audience, they had some fun singing their own praises. Here's the video, via TMZ:

reignofevil fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Nov 4, 2019

Hopkins FBI
Jan 4, 2015

MY SACRED POSTING VOW IS NOTHING, FOR WHILE I STAKED MY HONOR UPON MY COMMITMENT TO NEVER SUPPORT JOSEPH R. B. JUNIOR I HAVE SCANDALOUSLY ABANDONED MY PRINCIPLES
Hulk Hogan announced today that he will be starring in "Thunder in Paradise: The Movie". The film will feature footage of Vince McMahon himself.

There will be no nudity, "for reasons that I feel must be kept secret" according to the Hulkster. The movie will also feature an all-new Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan's spokesperson responded to the news of the movie over email with an image of the actual Hulkster and some text saying "For reasons that must be kept secret". It's unclear whether Hulk Hogan's involvement with the movie will be voluntary or whether he will be part of the production.

Hulk Hogan is also involved in the production of a new WWE product which we're expecting to see in the "future".

According to a press release from Viacom, McMahon will not be the primary director of the film. It's just as well because this is likely to be a sequel to his controversial, "We're sick of Hulk Hogan" documentary, so the chances are good that McMahon will not star.

"After his appearance on 'Macho Man Randy Savage' on Monday Night Raw, Hulk Hogan announced today that he

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


quote:

Randy Savage ate my balls off. It was great."

This article originally appeared on Esquire.com

21 Hoot Salute
Feb 8, 2005

Night-time, turn around
Lonely is the city tonight
Night-time, all around
Lonely in the city tonight



After being away from the WWE for years due to racist comments, Hulk Hogan was backstage with the entire WWE roster. He told them "that's all in the past" and made a huge statement about being gay. He had the entire WWE Universe talking!

Then he left on the tarmac a few seconds after.

He was a great champion and an all time great WWE Superstar. Sadly, his death on September 28th left not only a hole in our sports world, but a void in the world of entertainment.

If Hogan would take him's advice and stay away from the limelight, he certainly wouldn't have missed a day of wrestling. He would have been in character one last time before he passed away.

What a great guy!

Hulk Hogan died on September 28, 2014!

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Hangman Page and his dead PPV horse would wreck NXT in the ratings. Do not tell lies. I don't like those guys. They were bad as a company when they were the heel version of good guys. A good guy would come in and beat that up hard and win. A bad guy wouldn't even try. There is no way I could watch them ever again. But this company will never again see those three guys in any position of power. I love these guys. I think they are awesome performers. They give the company so much.

Who's afraid of The Horsemen?

NXT's new head coach, Alberto Del Rio, is trying pretty hard to make them fear him. "I think we're the biggest threat that the company has ever seen," Del Rio said recently at the post-Mania press conference.

The Horsemen aren't scared of Del Rio, either, and have been doing their best to take away his control. They've sent out threatening faxes and have had people try to intimidate him. And I don't want to scare you guys into thinking I don't mean some of these threats but, no, that

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Orange Cassidy pulled out his buck knife. Only he wouldn't be hunting bucks. He was hunting men. He wasn't going to be killed by any other hunting party. If it came to violence, Cassidy could only hope he was the last. Cassidy didn't want to be remembered more for those he had killed than for the ones he had saved. He had saved two men from the same violent death in his life. And it had taken him long enough.

Cassidy walked into a grove of trees. It was a peaceful day. The ground was soft and soft with grass. Cassidy was in a grove with no other hunters. It had been an accident. The only thing that could have killed all of them was Cassidy. He had been in a hurry. He had a job to go to and he wanted what he needed. He felt good about himself. And the first thing he wanted to do was make sure no one else wanted to follow him. He got to walk down into the grove and see his friends. He walked around to the head of the tree. The grove was very deep. It was only three to four feet tall. It was filled

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Most people don't realize that they say fight fire with fire in Mexico here are some other phrases that people don't realize they use in Mexico that they will come across here. If they don't know, take a look at your speech and get an earful of it.

You must also use this phrase to get your points across. The first time I have heard it I thought, "Wow, that is hard to remember," but now it's the best way to get people to understand your message.

So when you are speaking to people in Mexico, what are some phrases that work great? These are some phrases you should use, but if at first you don't hear any response, try another.

"Mexico is your ally"

"Mexico is your neighbor"

"The people of Mexico want you to win"

"All of Mexico is against you"

"The people of Mexico will never let you win"

"You've been outgunned and outmatched"

"What do you want? Go back to your

quote:

Phrases to never say in wrestling:

'That's a fair point'


'Not really, we're all in this together'

'We've had a tough day'

'Yeah, and I'm gonna keep getting better'

'It's a job'

'We've got to get a point across'

'That's what we do'

'That's just a good point'

'That's what I'm doing'

'We have to do it with respect'

'There's no point in going at each other'

'I'll just keep working harder'

'I'm not going to lose to you'

'I'm not going to lose to anyone'

'I'm going to get through this'

'Let's keep working'

'Yeah, it's a tough match'

'I can't do it'

'You know what? You are a good wrestler'

'I've got to get a point across'

'You're not a bad wrestler'

reignofevil fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Nov 5, 2019

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

quote:

After Fightful Select got in touch with Seth Rollins today about the WWE Raw talent meeting, several other members of the WWE Raw roster have spoken to us about the meeting.

All confirmed the nature of the talent meeting, but shot down the initial reports that Randy Orton made a light hearted joke in order to soften the mood. According to one talent " No one said anything dumb. Opposite actually. Weird meeting but no one acted up."

The Dave Meltzer report of AJ Styles and Rusev speaking up when questions were fielded was accurate.
It also appears that John Cena will likely go after CM Punk's leg. According to a report from the talent "Randy Orton called CM Punk's leg a piece of poo poo."

Some fans are saying that the meeting is the best they've ever seen.

Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





Seth Rollins sucks.

That's how I feel.

He is my all-time favorite performer and I'm disappointed to say that I won't be able to make it up to him for his awesome work.

I don't like the way he treats the women that he works with. They are not people, they are sex objects. This is a man that would have the WWE Network play "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a commercial.

He calls the women who he works with "girls," "ladies," "women," "bitches," "sluts," "whores," and more. He's a disgusting human being who doesn't care about the women that he is working with.

I was with him at WWE's New York City Press Day and he didn't even try to hide his disgust. This was a man that would have his daughter give a man a massage. This is the same man who would have his daughter give him a hug. The man who will tell anyone that he's not gay that he doesn't really have feelings

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



quote:

WWE's favorite band is Limp Bizkit. AEW's favorite band, however, is The Beatles. AEW claims The Beatles to be their favorite band. AEW doesn't claim that the Beatles are their favorite band, however. They claim that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that the Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that the Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that the Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is their favorite band.

AEW claims that The Beatles is

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

GRAND GALAXICITATE: 'Sting, you have been chosen for the great space war. The grand galaxicitate has spoken.'

The room fell deathly silent

STING:
 'That is the grand galaxicitate's message. I am to serve the greatest of space war. I am the greatest of Space Marine, Space Marine, Space Marine. I am the greatest of Space Marines. I am the greatest of Space Marines. I am the greatest of Space Marines. I am the greatest of Space Marines.'

The room fell deathly silent

STING: 'Do not cry. I will be fine. I am here to serve the greatest of space war.'

Stings hands. He starts to weep.

Stings hands. Stings arms. Stings torso. Stings feet. Stings knees. Stings chin. Stings head. Stings tongue.

DYING: 'The greatest of Space Marines, Space Marine, Space Marine. The greatest of Space Marines. I am the greatest of Space Marines.'

Dying.

reignofevil fucked around with this message at 06:10 on Nov 6, 2019

Numero6
Oct 10, 2012

ここは地の果て 流されて俺
今日もさすらい 涙も涸れる
ブルーゲイル
Brb gonna time travel just so WCW will film that.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

LEX LUGER HAS AN ACTUAL LUGER AHHHHH!

THE MOMENT OF REALITY IS SHUTDOWN

SUCK IT, BUSH!

BUSH!!!

BUSH!

BUSH!!!

THESE SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

OH MY GOD!!!

THESE SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

THOSE LIZZARDS!

I don't endorse this one but as a journalist I'm duty bound to report it

quote:

Dave Meltzer made a retraction. He retracted his second prehensile head which he would use to pierce through the skulls of his hapless victims. His acidic blood broiled his victims. The only thing he did not do was eat them. Instead, he left them in a pile of ashes, so his own remains could be eaten.

The man who was in charge of protecting the city's most vulnerable residents was the Mayor. The man who kept this city safe for all the innocent people that lived in it.

The Mayor was a black man. A black man who, when he was mayor, tried to ban guns. A man who was the embodiment of all that was wrong with the black community in America. The Mayor tried to take away the most effective means of self defense against the violent criminals that plagued their community. He tried to remove the tools that the people of Chicago could use to fight back. And he wanted to ban all guns.

The Mayor tried to make his city a war zone. A war zone where guns were not allowed. The only way for the people of Chicago to survive was to

quote:

Chris Jericho and Don Jr. Play poker every Wednesday. 'Royal flush' said Jericho

Kurt Angle's ex-wife says she knows about his 'porn' videos because he calls her

Dolph Ziggler says his son is ready for the WWE but his mother isn't

reignofevil fucked around with this message at 06:28 on Nov 6, 2019

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Chris Jericho lounged in the bathtub with the bubbly. His seven step plan to corner the market in Pro Wrestling had come to fruition and he was well on his way to step 4.

Step 4:
 Create a gimmick that would be so over it would be used for years after you were gone.

Step 5: Do this all by yourself.

Step 6: You will be very rich.

Step 7: Go on tour and do commercials and make millions.

Step 8: When the time is right, release the gimmick as an independent contractor who will do everything but do actual wrestling.

Step 9: Make it a reality show.

Step 10: When the time is right, release the show as an official production of your company.

Step 11: Make sure there are no legal issues with the show.

Step 12: When the show is a success, you will be rich.

Step 13: Do this all again.

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer
Backstage, AJ Styles cuts a promo on Sting. Which due to his accent, sounds like "Stink"

AJ Styles: I was wronk, I was wronk about YOU, Stink!
I would say, "Stink! Stink! Stink!"

Sting: AJ. You wanna know something, I had a little problem with you a long time ago and a short time ago. But now I've gotten a better handle on it. I'm not really interested in wrestling you again.

AJ Styles: That's good news! (Laughs) I didn't think it was going to be that easy.

AJ Styles takes out Sting with a spinebuster and puts on Sting's jacket

AJ Styles: I just wanna say thank you to Sting. Thanks for the career you've had. You're definitely one of the most talented guys I ever wrestled.

Sting: Yeah, I appreciate the respect.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

Angry_Ed posted:

Sting: AJ. You wanna know something, I had a little problem with you a long time ago and a short time ago. But now I've gotten a better handle on it. I'm not really interested in wrestling you again.

MATURE SOL-UTIONS *CLAPCLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*


Bard Maddox posted:

Chris Jericho picked up the mic and asked: "I got a question. Who threw a weiner in the ring?" It was an old question: "Who threw a weiner in the ring" I did some research and found it was a wrestler named Rhett "The Brain" Spivey who had just been kicked off the WWF for using cocaine during a match called "The Show of the Year" in 1985 (Rhett was probably the first weiner to be thrown out of WWF, and possibly the most infamous). The other wrestlers mentioned were "the Brainless". The Brainless was a masked wrestler from the ECW days who worked as a heel and could hold a weiner like he was throwing it in. The Brainless wasn't the only one. There were several matches involving wrestlers throwing weiners on camera which resulted in a whole new genre of weiners being created: " The Nasty Weiners." The "Nasty Weiners" are a series of weiner matches that occurred in the mid-90s when WWE had an extra match on the main program. The matches feature one villain holding a wrestling weapon in one hand and a



Edit- also I'm not necessarily doing it right this second but I'm dropping a footnote in here to say I am 100% gonna depict 'The Nasty Weiners' matches in visual format.

reignofevil fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Nov 9, 2019

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

extradite THIS! posted:

Kenny Omega opened the door to Ibushi Pro Wrestling Research Institute, likely for the last time. He knew that this was his final chance to convince his best friend and the love of his life to come to the USA and join him in AEW.

The fight started with a few hard punches from Ibushi and before long Kenny had his neck broken. During the fight, Ibushi used his headgear to try to protect himself and Kenny's family from falling all over him.

Kenny survived the attack, but then he suffered another blow on his face which turned him into a shell of his former self. He did not understand why the other man was so willing to get punched so much.

Ibushi was in a very fragile state and Kenny continued to fight with him. The third and final attack from Kenny took out Ibushi's eyes and nose. With the help of his wife, Daphne, Kenny began receiving medical care from doctors in Canada.

Ibushi's face is still unrecognizable but he did survive the brutal beating that he endured.

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


quote:

Hulk Hogan zoomed in with his telescopic vision and saw The Wall heiling right at him, five miles away, fifteen stories up. "That's The Wall, brother! Hey Wall!"

Hogan didn't look back, but the next thing he knew he was lying on the sidewalk with his pants around his ankles, with the lights on inside his window. He couldn't remember who he was. He was naked, and he was naked in the middle of a sidewalk in downtown Detroit, his hair and clothes a muddle of gray and green. A police officer was standing over him with a taser in his hand.

The officer yelled at him. "You know who's coming down there?" he said.

Hogan started screaming, and the officer took his taser out of his hand and hit him across the face and on the back of the head. "gently caress, gently caress, gently caress, gently caress, gently caress," he yelled again and again. "I


quote:

Hulk Hogan zoomed in with his telescopic vision and saw The Wall heiling right at him, five miles away, fifteen stories up. "That's The Wall, brother! Hey Wall! Wall!" He flew out of the ring, then slammed through The Wall at a run.

A few seconds later, Hulk Hogan was dead.

In the aftermath, a New York state commission was formed to study the phenomenon. The Wall of Death had killed some 30 people since 1993. The Wall of Death did not seem to attract new fatalities as quickly as previously thought. The first fatalities were attributed to the death of Vince McMahon, the company's founder and owner. McMahon's death in 2001 was ruled accidental by the state of New York, and a follow-up inquiry in 2004 confirmed that.

The Wall of Death, then, is an unfortunate and sometimes dangerous phenomenon, but its real purpose is to keep people away from a dangerous place.

holy poo poo

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Baron Corbin was transfixed by the cgi yelping pitbull on the screen before him. The dog yelped and yelped. Baron Corbin had never been so pleased. The gigantic pitbull head was so close to his face it was almost touching his hair. The pitbull had a look of intense delight on its face as it kept yelping and yelping. The pitbull was obviously enjoying this, the dogs' master was so happy, and Corbin was so excited, that he didn't notice when he walked through the kitchen to take a drink of water. Corbin then noticed his hand resting on the table. Corbin's wife, Joanna Corbin, had been sitting behind Corbin. Corbin felt a chill and turned around to find that Joanna Corbin was there and staring at him. Corbin turned back around. Joanna Corbin was staring at him. The dog yelped and yelped. Corbin quickly turned back around. Corbin

Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





Vince McMahon is a fascist demagogue who has the best interests of the company at heart. He is a fraud. He is a murderer, rapist and thief. He has ruined countless lives, and he does it with the help of the majority of the WWE audience, who watch him, pay him and cheer for him.

The most recent example was his recent attempt to ruin Daniel Bryan's life and career. Daniel Bryan was a phenomenal wrestler and a popular star in the WWE, yet he is also a man who loves himself and is a role model for other wrestlers, both past and present.

If you are not familiar with what Daniel Bryan stands for, please read my article about Daniel Bryan. The following is a direct quote from that article.

"I can't stand the way Daniel Bryan treats his fans and how he constantly tries to make them look stupid. I can't stand how he puts women in danger and how he acts like he knows more about professional wrestling

e: AJ Styles is a homophobe, but the truth is he's also a bigot. There's not much else you can say about this guy except that he's a racist.

That's what happens when you're a wrestler who's been wrestling for his entire adult life. You're exposed to all kinds of weird people, and people who hate people are part of that weirdness.

You'll also learn how to be a racist and a homophobe just by watching AJ Styles.

1. The "B" word is in AJ Styles's WWE bio.

The word "bitch" is in AJ Styles's WWE bio. It's in the "About" section under the "About The Wrestler" section. The bio reads:

In his pursuit of excellence, AJ Styles has overcome personal adversity and grown into one of the world's top professional wrestlers. His drive, work ethic, and desire to win has propelled Styles to the top of the

Venomous fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Nov 9, 2019

Max Coveri
Dec 23, 2015

by Athanatos
Vader unmasked, and then did an interview saying that he was nothing but a fat piece of poo poo who had just gotten his butt whipped. I'll let you figure out what "loving fat piece of poo poo" means.

This year, at the Golden Globes, I did an interview and a commercial where I talked about how much I love my wife and all the amazing things she does for me, and also talked about how much I love my wife and that she was the best mother in the world. I was a little nervous because there was a line in the commercial where I talked about her being a mother first, and then the line was cut off and people on Twitter were like, "I thought that was your commercial?" And I was like, "No, it was just that line." I mean, what the gently caress did I just do? I made a commercial about her being a mother.

My favorite moment

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



quote:

"Here comes the piss!" shouted Paul Heyman. "Worst. Man. Ever." The crowd went wild with cheers as the Undertaker appeared, a small crowd in the front and a larger, more attentive one in the back. He held his belt, a bright yellowish tassel around his waist. The crowd went wild again, the lights were turned up and it was time to hear what would be the best match on the card. "Here it is," said Paul Heyman. The Undertaker looked down at his belt and looked up at the arena. The crowd went nuts as the crowd roared like never before. As the lights went up and the audience went wild, the lights came down, the lights came up again, the crowd went wild. The lights came down and the Undertaker appeared in the ring, and the crowd went

Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





and now, every WWE Champion in order:

1. Buddy Rogers
2. Bruno Sammartino
3. Ivan Koloff

4. Riki Choshu
5. The Million Dollar Man
6. Jimmy Snuka
7. Andre the Giant
8. Harley Race
9. Hulk Hogan
10. The Big Show
11. Hulk Hogan
12. Ric Flair
13. Randy Savage
14. Hulk Hogan
15. Hulk Hogan
16. Ric Flair
17. Andre the Giant
18. The Rock
19. Hulk Hogan
20. Shawn Michaels
21. Randy Savage
22. Hulk Hogan
23. Hulk Hogan
24. Ric Flair
25. Andre the Giant
26. Bret Hart
27. Ric Flair
28. Hulk Hogan
29. Andre the Giant
30. Hulk Hogan
31. The Rock
32. Hulk Hogan

e: but hey, if you don't like the WWE, here's every GHC champ in NOAH's history:

1. Mitsuharu Misawa
2. Jun Akiyama
3. Yoshinari Ogawa

4. Toshiaki Kawada
5. Kenta Kobashi
6. Kenjiro Norimoto
7. Hironobu Sakaguchi
8. Kazuhisa Sakurai
9. Masanori Murakami
10. Naoya Ogawa
11. Takashi Sugiura
12. Masakatsu Sakurai
13. Tomokazu Takahashi
14. Toshiaki Sato
15. Masanori Ohara
16. Seiichiro Hoshi
17. Hiroyoshi Tenzan
18. Kazuya Yoshino
19. Kengo Kawada
20. Hideki Hosaka
21. Hiroshi Tanahashi
22. Masashi Tanaka
23. Daisuke Inoue

Venomous fucked around with this message at 14:42 on Nov 10, 2019

Hopkins FBI
Jan 4, 2015

MY SACRED POSTING VOW IS NOTHING, FOR WHILE I STAKED MY HONOR UPON MY COMMITMENT TO NEVER SUPPORT JOSEPH R. B. JUNIOR I HAVE SCANDALOUSLY ABANDONED MY PRINCIPLES
Here are the top 10 most heinous crimes committed by Vince McMahon.
10.
The murder of Vince McMahon. Vince McMahon was stabbed over 200 times. The victim was beaten to death with a golf club and thrown into the trunk of a car.
9. The murder of Mr. McMahon's mother and his sister. The two women, in their 80s, were stabbed numerous times. The motive was never explained.
8. The murder of Vince McMahon's girlfriend, Linda McMahon. A knife was found in Linda's home. The weapon was used by Linda's nephew.
7. The murder of Linda McMahon's nephew, Michael. Vince McMahon and his bodyguard, Jerry Jarrett, were accused of murdering Michael. Jarrett was convicted and sentenced to 15 years in prison.
6. The murder of Vince McMahon's son, Paul

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

Hopkins FBI posted:

6. The murder of Vince McMahon's son, Paul

Buried Alive.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Jon Moxley crawled through broken glass to keep hurting Kenny Omega. He crawled through explosions. He crawled through thunder storms. He crawled through iced-over parking lots. He crawled through the cold, the darkness. He crawled to a point where it hurt to move.

It was his turn to fight back.

He'd seen this before. He'd seen this when he was younger.

He was the old man standing next to the younger man with his arm around the younger man's shoulder, smiling, and the older man was a man who wanted nothing more than to be like the other man. He knew this all too well. He'd tried it himself before, many, many times.

And he'd lost every time.

When you lose, you want to die.

The elder had been a fighter. He'd been one of the best. He'd been one of the strongest.

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ADBOT LOVES YOU

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Didn't John Morrison buy those as a gift for Melina once only he wanted it to be a surprise so he snuck in and measured her feet at night but also he hosed up and got her giant oversized toe shoes instead and then got confused because she kept thinking his,"I got you something personal and special!" hints were about jewellery?  She didn't even notice she was getting shoe sized again until she was wearing her new shoes and didn't recognize her toes or her feet.
Aaaand, the most amazing thing.
In this episode, there was no reason to have to resort to the "what's your ring size?" gag at all. It made more sense, especially given how long ago the "how large is your dick?" thing happened and she had already had sex with him so she's no longer a virgin, so what? It's a bit confusing how he knew she was getting shoe sized.  He's not a dickhead, he was

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