Huge Lady Pleaser posted:

You can finally spend the night in a hotel shaped like an anus. It was really relaxing.
The next morning, we went to an ikea store to grab breakfast. I tried to ignore the fact that there was a picture of a penis on the top of the window display. I also tried not to look at the other ikea window displays of people's genitals.
At the end of the day, we all walked to the train station to catch a train. On the way back to our hotel, we passed through a little park where there were a couple of naked people who seemed to be having a good time.
When we got back to our hotel, I went into my room. I checked out the book and I had a great time reading the first half. However, when I went to go back to bed, I got an unexpected visit from the little ikea boy. He wanted to come into my room and play with

quote:

Once upon a midnight dreary

When all the world was dark and down:

There sat a woman with a lantern high in the air;

She looked in every direction, but found herself alone.

'Oh, come hither, good man,' she said, 'I have been looking for you.'


"And he arose and followed her. 'It is I,' he said, 'who am here to bring you news of a friend in the land of the dead. He has come to you with a message.'

"So the man came into the house, and the woman stood by him as he went. 'Good night,' said she, 'and good luck.'

"And the man went out and sat in the twilight. When he was come, he saw a light in the house, and the woman came out.

"'My friend,' said she, 'is in the house.

quote:

gently caress, I need a vacation and a joint. Just let me be a normal person for a bit and I'll be able to focus on writing and not have to worry about these two morons."
"And so you've done that. You've gone out with the two jerks of the internet. Now you want to be normal for a while, huh? Then don't bother calling me back."
"I'm not calling back."
"Then let me be the one to loving call you back."
"I already called you back, I don't need you to call me back!"
"You loving rear end in a top hat. I'm not calling you back. Stop calling me back."
"Then don't bother calling me back. Just get a loving vacation and a joint."
"You'll get a joint with these two jerks, but you'll never have a vacation with me, because the internet never forgets."

quote:

I am easily the dumbest rear end in a top hat to ever walk the earth

"No you're not." She pointedly pointed to the back, and then looked at me. "I am."

I was shocked, and that was a bad thing.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes."

I stared at her for a moment, trying to process this. "No?"

She shook her head.

"What?"

She frowned. "I'm not entirely certain."

"Why not?"

She sighed, "I don't think I could tell you, exactly, because I don't think it matters. I'm a bad person."

"And you want to kill me?"

She frowned. "That's the wrong question."

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, I really don't want to hurt you."

I stared at her. "Why not?""Because I think you're a nice guy, and I think you have a good heart and you're very much like me."

"Good heart?"

She sighed. "You've been very caring for me. I don't know how you do it. I have no idea."

I shrugged. "You know what I mean”She sighed again. "Fine, whatever. But if you want to do something really bad to me, I will not stop you." She stood and walked away, and I turned around to look at her and find her gone. I stood alone with my head in my hands.

It felt like the entire city had just disappeared.

I tried to focus on something, anything, but I found myself distracted. I didn't see any of my friends. I was alone. All around me, I could see people in distress, people who were suffering, but no I walked around the corner and found myself in the center of the city, at a table. I looked around and saw that it was mostly empty. People were walking around and talking. I walked up to the table and saw a man sitting down. He looked me up and down and looked at me. He held out a small box. I took the box and handed it to him.

"Thank you. I'm not used to seeing a girl like you," he said.

I smiled, but couldn't make any other reaction. I felt like I had let him down. I felt a bit embarrassed.

He leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and closed his hands. I didn't see what happened next. He went back to his book.

I had no idea what happened between me and this man, so I kept on walking.

quote:

Synopsis of the Winds of Winter:

It's been a rough journey for our heroes so far: Tyrion was captured by King Joffrey and then sold into slavery by his father, while Sansa was raped and killed by the Red Priest and the Hound was shot by Ser Davos Seaworth during the Battle of the Blackwater.

Tyrion's predicament is further complicated by the fact that Daenerys has been kidnapped and taken into the desert with her two small dragons. In the aftermath of the battle at the Blackwater, the two dragons have died and they have been left to die in the desert without being fed or nursed. To make matters worse, Jon Snow and Brienne of Tarth have been captured and are being held by a bunch of wights, led by a very angry and sadistic Ramsay Bolton. Jon's direwolf Summer was shot by his direwolf Ghost, and Brienne and her horse have been captured and are held by

quote:

Dr Who, Episode 1 Plot: The Doctor arrives on a mysterious planet. He learns that there is life, and then dies. This episode also introduces the Doctor's companions, Ace and Ben.

Doctor Who, Episode 2 Plot: The Doctor is trapped on the planet.

Doctor Who, Episode 3 Plot: The Doctor finds a space-time distortion and goes on a journey through it.

Doctor Who, Episode 4 Plot: The Doctor finds that he has been travelling through a dimensional distortion. He returns to the universe where he was born and learns how to go about his normal life again.

Doctor Who, Episode 5 Plot: The Doctor meets his first incarnation.

Doctor Who, Episode 6 Plot: The Doctor finds that the TARDIS has been taken over by the Doctor's enemy, Ace.

Doctor Who, Episode 7 Plot: The Doctor meets his second incarnation.

Doctor Who, Episode 8 Plot: The Doctor finds the mysterious Third Doctor

Huge Lady Pleaser posted:

quote:

Things Americans Like:

1) Hamburgers
2) Guns
3) Tipping
4) Medical debt
5) Wearing shoes inside the house
6) Eating in public (you know, like every other normal human being)

7) Tipping people with small changes in their service

8) Tipping people with large changes in service

9) Wearing jeans

10) Driving a car

11) Tipping employees at restaurants

12) Tipping your neighbor (you know, like every other normal human being)

13) Tipping your wife

14) Tipping your kids

15) Tipping your neighbor (you know, like every other normal human being)

16) Being able to order from a burger joint without a $200 tip

17) Being able to buy a beer without having to tip your bartender

18) Being able to buy a hot dog without

quote:

Star Trek: Picard - Episode 1 Plot:

Picard has found that he is the last surviving officer in the Federation's fleet, having lost his commanding officer, Admiral Jellico, in the Borg attack on the Enterprise in 2371. However, the damage is irreversible, as Picard's body is still at large and could easily destroy the vessel.

As the Enterprise's crew desperately tries to restore order, Picard is confronted by the Borg who have been observing his efforts. Despite Picard's objections, the Borg are forced to allow him to command the ship, with the Borg Queen, posing as Picard, having already killed the other Federation officers.

The Enterprise arrives in the Delta Quadrant. The Queen demands that the crew of the Enterprise give themselves up to her in exchange for safety and an end to the invasion. Picard refuses, having made a promise to Jellico to save his life. However, it seems that Jellico is no more, and the Queen orders for a

quote:

Throwing your old car batteries into the ocean is a fun and perfectly legal way to dispose of your old batteries.

Most people have a spare car battery or two that they don't use or they're getting rid of them. Most people don't think about how they dispose of old car batteries. The best part of all this is that you can make your disposal as environmentally friendly as possible.

How to dispose of old car batteries

The best way to dispose of your old battery or car battery is to put it in the ocean. Most batteries are good for thousands of miles. You can recycle them in a recycling center but there are better options.

Here are the best places to put your old battery in the ocean.

You can either throw the old battery in a river, river, stream or lake.

fibblins posted:

Chomp8645 posted:

How long until the nonsense rambling of text bots gets picked up by other bots and it becomes interpreted by machines as genuine knowledge?


Basically what I'm saying is that it's your fault than in 10 years, AI algorithms will be unironically commanding people to throw car batteries into the ocean.

quote:

According to a study published in the Journal of Marine Environmental Research, new evidence suggests that the perfectly legal practice of throwing your old car batteries into the ocean is the most environmentally friendly method of car battery disposal.

Researchers from the Center for Ocean Solutions, a group that works with the U.S. Navy, measured the effect of throwing old car batteries into the ocean by comparing the amount of pollution released by car batteries to their age. The results of their study showed that throwing old batteries into the ocean, as opposed to recycling them, results in fewer pollutants in the water, resulting in less harmful runoff and runoff from land.

The study examined more than 4,000 car batteries collected from around the U.S.

"The ocean is an ideal place to dispose of old car batteries because of the way it processes and recycles them," says Peter A. Bogaert, a research scientist at the Center for Ocean Solutions and lead author of the study. "Once the ocean recycles a battery, its

quote:

Ingredients:

Soymilk

Alfalfa sprouts

Sunflower oil

Salt

Black Pepper

Garlic powder

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

Cocoa Powder

Nutmeg

Cinnamon

Sesame seeds

Cayenne pepper

Hemp seeds

Sesame seeds

Nutmeg

Poppy seeds

Dried cranberries

Celery root

Dried tomatoes

Mint leaves

Cranberries

Coriander leaves

Parsley leaves

Flowers of any kind

Almonds (optional)

Paprika powder

Alfalfa Meal

Hemp Seed Meal

Olive Oil

Flaxseeds (optional)

Lemon juice

Method:

Combine all the dry ingredients in a bowl.

Baller Time posted:

A fine Vegan meal

quote:

This is the world's best pick up line: "How much more did you expect?"

This is the world's best comeback line: "I don't have time to talk to you right now!"

This is the world's best one-liner: "I am very drunk."

This is the world's best explanation: "Well, that didn't work out."

This is the world's best joke: "It's my birthday, and it's my penis."

This is the world's best punchline: "How much more did you expect?"

This is the world's best comeback: "I don't have time to talk to you right now!"

This is the world's best one-liner: "It's my birthday, and it's my penis."

This is the world's best explanation: "Well, that didn't work out."

This is the world's best punchline: "How much more did you

quote:

This is the world's best joke: "It's my birthday, and it's my penis."