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quote:I was banned from Something Awful for ~~posting "You are all hosed"~~ a picture of someone else's dick that had been replaced with the word gently caress. quote:I was banned from Something Awful for I was caught repeatedly making rape jokes and I kept getting permabanned. I believe the reason I was permabanned was because I used rape jokes as a way of mocking rape victims and making rape jokes about victims. This was not a new thing for me and I had made rape jokes for years before the rape victim comments. In fact, I did not think about the issue of rape jokes at all prior to this, and I never would have made them about it. quote:I was banned from Something Awful for~~#!#!ing off and calling someone a human being a year ago. quote:I was banned from Something Awful for ~~"being too nice"~~ (lol). I can only assume that they had their way with me because I was nice, but that's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about that one time they banned me because they wanted to hear about "how it's really like" in their little "social justice paradise". I got banned for expressing that I don't think the way I play or think about the game is the way that it should be. The ban is a testament to how they view the players who disagree with them. There are many games out there with a lot of rules and a lot of restrictions and that is one of them. I feel that the way that I'm playing the game is the way it should be. The reason that I get banned for it is because the way that I'm playing the game is how I think it should be. It doesn't matter that I'm just a bit more polite than I should be lots of these follow the general format of describing some offense in detail, ranging from plainly bannable things like racism/homophobia/antisemitism to nonsense, followed by a vigorous defense of the offending behavior. there was one single one with a happy ending where the OP negotatiated with the mods to be unbanned on the terms that he didn't make any more gamergate videos but I miss-pasted it and now it's lost to the ages
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Nov 12, 2019 18:05
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i bet you guys didn't even know trump was a poet
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Nov 12, 2019 18:21
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poverty goat posted:lots of these follow the general format of describing some offense in detail, ranging from plainly bannable things like racism/homophobia/antisemitism to nonsense, followed by a vigorous defense of the offending behavior. there was one single one with a happy ending where the OP negotatiated with the mods to be unbanned on the terms that he didn't make any more gamergate videos but I miss-pasted it and now it's lost to the ages it should be noted that this AI was trained by feeding it all Reddit posts. it makes sense that it is proficient at complaining about being banned from SA
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Nov 12, 2019 18:27
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This one takes a twist at the end!quote:Talk to Transformer is not very convincing, because they just don't know what they're talking about. It is important to note that this is not because they have the answer, and you shouldn't be afraid to ask them. It is because they don't have the answer yet. But they are working on it.
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Nov 12, 2019 18:32
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Nov 12, 2019 18:37
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quote:On October 7th, 1035, Anna stepped out into the busy streets of Constantinople and her husband was suddenly nowhere to be found. In the ensuing days, rumours of the death spread across the city, but all were proven false. On October 12th, a few hours after her husband had died in bed, she appeared at the gates of the palace and was greeted by the Patriarch of Constantinople. She made her way to the Basilica of the Most Holy Theotokos where she received the blessing of the Patriarch and was taken to the monastery of St. Sergius on the banks of the Smyrna. Woah, ok. It's a bit more clever then I thought, honestly. quote:Many people think Augustus was the first Roman Emperor, but actually his cat was the first cat that came to be named a Emperor. He may not have been the first cat, but he was the first cat with a very distinctive voice. Many people were right! quote:Shortly after Donald Duck assassinated Adolf Hitler, Germany's Foreign Minister and future President Konrad Adenauer told the BBC that the Disney characters should be treated as "political statements of our times, that's their job." I fuckin' knew it! quote:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. A few minutes later, he was able to shake off the sleep and stood up, confused as to what had happened to him. "What? Where am I? Why am I an insect?" Samsa thought to himself. "I must have dreamed it. I had never dreamed anything so strange. What was that?" Then it hit him: he was actually an insect, just like every other one out there. But he knew he was a human being, a human being with hopes, dreams, dreams of love and joy, a dream that would lead him to a new future. So, like his dream, he would change his life for the better. And that was the story of Gregor Samsa. D&D outta nowhere. Fintilgin fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Nov 12, 2019 |
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Nov 12, 2019 19:01
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Transporter Chief Miles O'brien stood at his console iced over, his eyes open in sleep, his face distorted in the harsh light of the monitors. "Chief O'Brien to Transporter Room. It's over, sir. We have lost the primary computer." "And?" "Sir, that primary computer is the lifeblood of our operation. We can't continue until it's back online." "Why not?" "Because it's gone." "Well...that's not good, is it? You think we'll be able to get it back online?" "There's a 50/50 chance, sir. It might be better if you left it on." "That's ridiculous. You're taking an officer away from the mission, and putting him at risk. The entire crew's going to be in danger, and if I want a drat answer as to why, you get on with it and tell me
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Nov 12, 2019 19:18
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Riker, Data, and Worf are on the holodeck when the Enterprise detects the Borg. Act One Edit The Borg have assimilated the Enterprise, and Picard is shocked at the Borg's knowledge of Human history. With the assistance of Data, he is able to learn a bit more about the Borg, and the knowledge about them that Data acquired from Riker and Data. Picard asks Riker to come with him to the ship's briefing room. When he meets with the other senior officers, he learns of the Borg's goal of creating an army, but he doesn't tell them about his knowledge of the Borg, and as a result they decide to have Riker and Data stay with the Enterprise. On the holodeck, La Forge and Worf are playing "Tetris," but Riker gets jealous, thinking that the game is rigged, and destroys the playing piece with a plasma torpedo.
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Nov 12, 2019 19:22
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Brokeback Mountain tells the story of a couple of high school drop outs, Mike and Jill, who go out for the first time in their lives together in the mountains of the American West. The pair begin by hiking up to the top of a mountain and finding a beautiful valley. While enjoying the view, Mike and Jill see a car coming down the mountain. Mike jumps off and throws a rock at the car, causing it to crash. Mike picks up Jill and they spend the night sleeping on the side of the mountain. As night falls they hear something coming towards them. Jill tells Mike to run and he runs as fast as he can to the top of the mountain, where he sees a group of bandits coming toward them. They have guns drawn and Mike attempts to convince the bandits that Mike and Jill are innocent, but all they want is the car. They demand Mike and Jill to give it up, but Jill refuses to give up the car, saying that she does not have a
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Nov 12, 2019 19:41
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quote:The cardassian smiled at Picard and nodded with satisfaction. "Your point is well taken." I guess we could just automate fan-fiction at this point
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Nov 12, 2019 19:45
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Eastbound Spider posted:I guess we could just automate fan-fiction at this point It also spits out Memory Alpha entries- Kirk and Spock caressed their hands, and the Enterprise bridge crew were relieved to find that Spock's hand had not been affected. (Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country) Spock's hand later appeared in a mirror universe. He was seen holding a copy of the novel The Emperor's New Cloak, by Harlan Ellison. [4] As Spock's hand was no longer in a physical state to assist in his Vulcan healing, it was not mentioned in either of the films that it was amputated. In an alternate timeline, the hand, which was located in the Enterprise's observation lounge, was lost in a transporter accident. (Star Trek) Alternate timeline Edit In the alternate timeline of the film Star Trek: Into Darkness, Spock's hand was never amputated, and he was still able to continue his Vulcan training. In the alternate timeline, Spock's hand was destroyed by Nero in 2267, and it was
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Nov 12, 2019 19:57
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Cat Army
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5 easy penis exercises you can practice at any local gym: 1. The "Shoot" You can shoot on your own or work with a partner. Just start off with one finger and slowly move towards the middle. Shoot for ten seconds and then switch to your other finger. 2. The "Pipe Dream" Start off with one hand and start slowly working your way up your penis. Work your way up in one go, aiming for 10 seconds. Take a 5-second break, and repeat. Continue until you've done 3-4 sets. 3. The "Lever" Start off with one hand and work your way to the front of your dick. Work on "lengthening" your penis for 5 seconds. After this, work on "tightening" your penis, aiming for 10 seconds. Take a 5-second break, and repeat. Continue until you've done 3-4 sets. 4. The "Carpenter"
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Nov 12, 2019 20:06
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Kirk, Picard and Sisko walk into a gay bar. Sisko and Kirk say they are not gay, but that they want to see the bar. They walk in, only to see that there is not a single other person there. Act Two Edit Picard and Sisko are shocked. Kirk says that they're looking for a girl, but when he asked if they wanted to see the place, they looked for a guy. Sisko goes on to say that he will have to tell Picard that they're not gay, but that they do not like the idea of "females" as sexual partners. Kirk says they will not stay in the bar long, and they leave. In the briefing room, Riker, Troi and Worf discuss the situation, with Troi noting that, "this is a new development." Riker notes the obvious; they must have some kind of security breach in the bar. Troi tells Riker that she suspects that
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Nov 12, 2019 20:07
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Oh my god. You can literally generate TV episode summaries for anything you want, up to and including 'Generic Anime'. Star Trek The Next Generation Season: 3 Episode: 14 Plot: When Riker is thrown out of a nightclub in Buenos Aires, he gets into an argument with his friend Deanna Troi over the validity of the holodeck. This causes the two of them to get into an altercation that ends up with the club being destroyed by a plasma torpedo. Riker tries to warn Picard of the impending attack, but the Enterprise is hit and damaged, leaving them helpless to stop the attackers. The Enterprise is later forced to make an emergency crash landing on Lord of the Rings Season: 3 Episode: 14 Plot: Aragorn is given a mission from the Elven King to destroy an enemy army of the Orcs. Aragorn does not feel like going to war. He instead stays at the Grey Havens, where he gets drunk and falls in love with another soldier. Analysis: What makes this episode so funny is that it is based on the books. But the writers took things out, as many of the things in the book are not shown in the series. The story is about Aragorn staying at the Grey Havens. In the book, when he first arrives at the Grey Havens, it is raining and muddy. He thinks it is a bad omen because they are supposed to be the good ones. So he asks his guide, Eomer, if it is a bad omen. Eomer says, "It's not a bad omen; I'm sure the people of the Grey Havens are very lucky. You should stay and Morrowind Season: 3 Episode: 14 Plot: The two brothers are brought to Morrowind by their mother, who believes they are her own lost children. She takes them to a house in the town of Vivec and brings them to the temple to learn the ways of the Dunmer, who have come to claim Vivec's land and his soul. They do not like what they see but learn that their mother was involved in the death of her brother when he was young. The two brothers find that their mother was possessed by a Daedric prince of the Aldmeri Dominion and were then turned into her pet Daedra. They try to get rid of the Prince, but the Daedra will not let them. The Prince is killed by the brother who was possessed by it. The siblings go on to become the leading members of a cult that seeks to overthrow the Empire. TES: Morrowind Season: 1 Episode: 8 Plot: The Dark Elf Prince Molag Moby Dick Season: 3 Episode: 14 Plot: The gang is back at their hideout, and in the process, find a map that leads them to the old man, who tells them where to find the whale. Unfortunately, he is only in his mid-40s and has no idea where it is. They manage to track it to the island, but before they can enter, an old man named Billy Bones comes to town and demands his money back. They agree, but only to retrieve their boat and sail off again. When they arrive on the island, they realize that Billy was a con-man and not the whale. They also learn that the old man is a giant. After an incident that leaves the boat sinking, they all have to work together to get to Billy's treasure, and after some bad luck, they actually find it. They are all very happy about it, and the episode ends with a bunch of whales and dolphins getting a good meal. Episode: 15 Plot: Ancient Egypt Season: 3 Episode: 14 Plot: A family is attacked by a giant snake and in the middle of the attack is Anubis. He is saved by the pharaoh's daughter and her brother. In the Egyptian underworld, Anubis and his brother, Sobek, have to deal with a plague that has spread through the underworld. The Pharaoh's daughter, Queen Nut, is worried that the plague may be killing Anubis. She is able to talk the snake into letting go of his grip, but he refuses to let go. This proves to be fatal, as it sends the snake out of the underworld into the land of the living. Season 4: Episode: 5 Plot: The plague has now spread through the underworld and the army of Sobek must move on. They are sent out to find Anubis. It doesn't take long for them to realize that he is dead. The king's daughter, Queen Nefertari, and Sobek, are now The Time Machine Season: 3 Episode: 14 Plot: In the late 1940s, a young woman travels back in time to change the history of the 20th century to the time when a man named Jack the Ripper murdered a British prostitute. In order to stop the murderer, the woman and her mother travel to a future where Jack has become an influential politician, where he is known as The Ripper and his victims have no names. Unfortunately, this future is a dystopia where the world is ruled by an oppressive government and is divided into two different factions. One side is ruled by the leader of a totalitarian regime, and the other is ruled by a ruthless dictator who makes all the rules. The woman decides to become one of the leaders of the totalitarian side of the government. On her way to the future, however, she is attacked and her mother killed by the Ripper. She decides to take her mother's place and take out Jack. As her mother's body is taken back in time, the woman Operation Barbarossa Season: 3 Episode: 14 Plot: This is when the Allies take a huge risk, launching a surprise offensive against the Soviet Union. This has to be seen to be believed. The story is told from two different viewpoints and each gives us the impression of what was really going on. The first is from a member of the 7th Panzer Division which sees a blitzkrieg of Russian divisions and tank formations. This unit is the first unit to enter the Russian border and is thus put into the most vulnerable position possible as the Russians are in a state of panic. The second is from an American soldier who is sent on a scouting mission in a captured German tank. The American sees that the Russian units are poorly supplied, poorly trained and are poorly led. This soldier, a former POW, reports back to his command after the mission. After this, the Americans are ordered to withdraw their forces. The story picks up when the unit gets orders to enter Soviet territory to destroy a Soviet radar unit. The German Generic Anime Season: 3 Episode: 14 Plot: While attending a gathering of the Shingen Shishi, Shishio finds himself getting bullied by his older brother Akari. After a confrontation with his father about the incident, Akari reveals to Shishio that he was the one that bullied him. While he and his father try to make peace, Akari tries to kill Shishio. When Shishio manages to kill Akari, he goes out to confront his father, with Akari behind him. Akari has a plan to turn Shishio's father against him, by having him marry his daughter. Rating: 10 (adult swim, sexual situations, dark themes) Gundam Build Fighters Season: 1 Episode: 2 Plot: One day, a girl appears in the Gundam City where Riku and his friends are working as Gundam pilots. This girl, Halse, shows a mysterious power and can turn people into the Gundam. After her mother died from
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Nov 12, 2019 20:08
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quote:Plot Synopsis of Bravo! Excel Dreamer Sumire:
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Nov 12, 2019 20:09
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quote:Everything according to keikaku.*
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Nov 12, 2019 20:13
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Plot Synopsis of Goku Has a Very Large Cock: Goku has a very large cock. "If you say I don't have a cock then I'll just start my own thing with my big, hard cock." "Goku is one of the only characters in the series who had to be re-sculpted just so that he didn't look like he was wearing his underwear on his head." "I think his cock was around the same size as Goku's head." "He has a giant cock, but he never uses it." "You will find it incredibly hot to watch him masturbate." "He likes to eat pussy and he's very perverted." "If you say you're not a Saiyan, I'll take you down to the lowest place in the universe!" "His penis was around the size of the sun." "He doesn't need to worry about losing his balls. If you
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Nov 12, 2019 20:16
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She grabbed the rusty piece of rebar and ran him through to her fist. A man who looked like a janitor, whose name was Eun, looked on, his eyes wide in shock. He didn't know what she was doing, he had never seen such a thing in his life. He was in front of the gate, and had just stood there, shocked, while the girl grabbed the guy with her fist and smashed his face in with it. "Hah, hah, hah… That's a good job…! And this is the second one…" "Who are you people!?" The man screamed at the top of his lungs, and was covered in blood, but he didn't say anything to the girl. He was staring at her, with the same dumbfounded look as his companion. "Are you guys human too?" "Wha? Who are you people? You are all dirty. You should die!" "You're dead…
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Nov 12, 2019 20:29
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quote:Cool things to say at a funeral:
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Nov 12, 2019 20:38
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quote:When celebrating Dad Gay So What Awareness Week, the most important thing is to be yourself and celebrate that.
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Nov 12, 2019 20:41
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Lt. Barclay: Professor Moriarty! I disabled all holographic projections. How are you still here? More importantly, why are you naked?! Moriarty: Oh, it's all my fault. I did it on purpose, so that he could finally see me as he had always wanted. [He removes his shirt, revealing a very muscular body, with no undergarments.] Moriarty: Oh, don't look so shocked, Doctor. I can show you. [He bends over and kisses the Doctor.] Moriarty: I'll make you as sexy as a woman can be, Doctor. [He removes his top again, revealing a very muscular body, with no undergarments. The Doctor tries to resist. After a few attempts, he reaches out and pushes Moriarty back.] Moriarty: Come on, Doctor! I won't stop
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Nov 12, 2019 20:58
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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. It's one of the first shows to really put the characters through their paces. For instance, Rick's a moron, so that's sort of a huge surprise to us." But what's been great about the show is that it's made the audience empathize with the characters. We get the idea that Morty doesn't understand himself, and his relationship with his dad, Rick. "We are really hoping that the audience does understand and that we have something very real and very funny and very honest for them to respond to," Moskowitz says. "If they get a little confused, we think it's because they're seeing it for the first time, and we've been very careful to let them see our world." The idea behind the show is that the world is like this computer program. "It's really about Rick and Morty in this world," Moskowitz says. "The computer is trying to save the world
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Nov 12, 2019 21:06
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Fintilgin posted:Oh my god. You can literally generate TV episode summaries for anything you want, up to and including 'Generic Anime'. The Bible 2.0 Season: 6 Episode: 2 Plot: This episode is very similar to the first season episode "The Bible 2.0." After the opening credits, they move on to a scene of a man having sex with another man. The man in question is a married man. He does not appear to be cheating on his wife. He is in a relationship with the man from the previous episode and is the man's guest. As this episode goes on, more and more people are involved and it becomes more and more awkward. It ends with a discussion of why a husband and wife can have sex while being married. Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 Season: 6 Plot: We open on a woman in an office building and the woman begins to have sex with her male coworker. The guy is not interested. The woman then calls a man to her office and the guy has sex with her. 
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Nov 12, 2019 21:07
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Hey man huff this, it'll get you high as gently caress, it's 1 part horse manure 2 parts pcp dust, and 3 parts your own piss! Put it in a plastic bag and throw it in the sun and watch the smoke come out!
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Nov 12, 2019 21:09
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Alpha Protocol 2 looking goodquote:The year is 2025. As President Trump begins his third term, Hillary Clinton has just been arrested for perjury after a series of highly publicized scandals. Her opponent, Donald J. Trump, is making his triumphant return to the White House after a campaign of unprecedented success. Amidst a time of increasing global tensions, a new alien threat is poised to strike. You are a rookie field agent on the forefront of this new and mysterious chapter in American history. Your job is to infiltrate a top-secret research facility within the Beltway and expose the truth behind a worldwide conspiracy. LOL quote:The year is 2025. As President Trump begins his third term, Hillary Clinton has just been arrested for corruption and murder. Meanwhile, the FBI is now investigating her for her treasonous role in fomenting and orchestrating the 2016 election, in which the former Secretary of State was widely blamed for costing the Democrats the White House and the Senate.
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Nov 12, 2019 21:18
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On Oct 21st we will be having our ninth annual community rear end eating contest and I just wanted to go over a few ground rules: You can only submit an rear end on the day of the event, so make sure your rear end in a top hat has been there for a while. Only rear end eaters are allowed to submit a rear end, so the rear end in a top hat eating contest is for everyone to enjoy! This is not a competition. A lot of people have been asking me about the contest, but don't forget that the contest is for everyone to enjoy, so feel free to submit your rear end even if you have no idea what you're eating. What you will need: Any kind of delicious food. Some sort of toilet paper Something to wipe your rear end with Paint to decorate your rear end How to enter: Create an account on our subreddit, post your picture
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Nov 12, 2019 21:22
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An incomplete list of things jet fuel can't melt: 1) A computer terminal 2) Steel-reinforced concrete walls 3) Steel-reinforced concrete walls and floors 4) All aircraft fuselages 5) All nuclear reactors 6) Any glass-walled building 7) Any bulletproof glass 8) An armored vehicle 9) The interior of the White House 10) The Pentagon 11) All tanks, including Abrams tanks 12) All tanks and other vehicles with armored hulls 13) The entire population of Los Angeles 14) Any missile that goes into the Earth's atmosphere. 15) An airplane 16) Anything that's not a plane. (Note: if you need more proof, check out this NASA graphic showing that the Sun is a single, massive body, just as a bullet would be when it hits a bulletproof window.) 17) A man on a motorcycle 18) A man riding a bicycle 19) A car
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Nov 12, 2019 21:25
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this is too much fun i cant stop The year is 20XX. Mankind has been genetically altered to inhibit the growth of all pubic hair. But in the shadows lurk the rebels known only as "The Fridge". The Fridge have set a course for freedom from the tyranny of the pubic hair restriction. They will not stop until all pubic hair is grown free, all women are empowered and all men are free to enjoy their own natural pubic hair growth. F.A.Q.: 1. Why can't all men grow their own hair? A. There are only men with the genes that suppress hair growth. Men who have the genes that suppress hair growth will never be able to naturally grow their own hair. It is not that the genes are bad, it is just the environment. 2. How will they grow their own hair? A. It is the technology of a hundred years ago that will enable them
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Nov 12, 2019 21:29
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My balls are made of: 1. Semen. 2. Sperm. 3. Milk. 4. Chalk. 5. A spoon. 6. A bottle. 7. A bottle opener. 8. A spoon-tongue. 9. A bottle brush. 10. A bottle-brush. 11. A pair of gloves. 12. A pair of socks. 13. A pair of sandals. 14. A pair of shoes. 15. A belt. 16. A purse. 17. A bag. 18. A shirt. 19. A coat. 20. A shirt. 21. A pair of slippers. 22. A pair of sand
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Nov 12, 2019 21:29
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loving Disney+! The most recent changes to the Star Wars movies include: 1. Boba Fett's new costume: Originally, Boba Fett wore a brown, leather vest. But in "The Empire Strikes Back," he wore a long, dark brown coat and a long, red scarf. In "Return of the Jedi," Fett wore a black leather vest and a red scarf. 2. Obi-Wan's new costume: He wore the same robes as he had in "Attack of the Clones." 3. Anakin's new costume: He didn't wear any clothing, but he was in a long robe. 4. Princess Leia's new costume: Princess Leia is dressed in a red dress. 5. Han Solo's new costume: He wore the same costume that he had in "A New Hope."
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Nov 12, 2019 21:30
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The thing that is really great about this hentai is that it is a nice story that isn't a story about rape. The hentai is actually about a teacher who goes to school and is attacked by a kid in class. You can't really call it rape, as the teacher does not use force on the kid, and doesn't actually force the kid to have sex with her. But the hentai still is an erotic hentai with good characters. Kiss me I'm a lesbian: Another nice hentai is Kiss Me I'm A Lesbian! This is a hentai that deals with lesbian relationships. It's got a good premise and a lot of good erotic scenes. A little bit of sex scene: Another lesbian hentai is A Little Bit of Sex Scene. It's about a girl who gets invited to her friend's party, but she doesn't go. The girls at her friend's party want to have sex with her
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Nov 12, 2019 21:37
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quote:Thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the memory of my father. He was a good man with a big heart and an even bigger dick. His penis was legendary. quote:Thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the memory of my father. He was a good man with a big heart and an even bigger dick.
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Nov 12, 2019 21:39
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It's about a dystopian society that has forbidden anything that could be considered a crime, so the only way to survive is by doing what no one else does: taking drugs. The book was published in 1987, long before the term "addiction" or "opiate" was even invented, but it was a perfect time to sell books to the same people who were experimenting with the drug in those days. That's how the book got so many copies. That's also how it got so many fans: through hard-core, hardcore, crackpot-level fans, who found themselves in an alternative universe with all the drugs of our modern, high-tech society, but without the stigma. When I was younger, it was a real pleasure to get a copy of The Soft Machine from the library and read about a bunch of kids trying to get high, and what they did to get high. It was about the drug culture of the '80s, and
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Nov 12, 2019 21:45
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My favorite Skyrim mod is Better Females by Bella (Bellyaches HD 2K Breast Sliders). I've been wanting to convert all the characters from that mod to Skyrim, and now I have. Enjoy!The mod is compatible with every other Skyrim mod. The only major issues with it are those that cause NPCs to use the wrong textures. That is, the "normal" eyes/face texture is too dark for them, the "normal" feet textures are too small, the "normal" mouth textures are too small, and so on. If any of those are your problem, you can use the compatibility patches to fix those issues. I recommend using the Unofficial Skyrim Patch instead.The mod should be compatible with any other mod that changes the same races or genders, so long as you don't change the meshes.There are also some mods that are compatible with it, but they have some major compatibility issues, which I'll get into later.Installation should be fairly straight forward
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Nov 12, 2019 21:47
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Sanders: "My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and my stamina is unbreakable. No one can touch me." Cruz: "No one has ever beaten me. Not even close." Huckabee: "I know some people might think I'm a little nuts, but if I have to have a bunch of men beat the crap out of me, I'll take it. I'd rather have Donald Trump than a bunch of fat boys kicking dirt in my face." Jeb Bush: "I will not back down from anyone." Ben Carson: "I'm not a pussy." Marco Rubio: "If a guy's got a low opinion of me, I'm going to beat that guy so bad that he'll never show his face again, unless he can take it to the next level."
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Nov 12, 2019 21:50
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Geralt of Rivia sighed as he drew his katana from its scabbard and turned towards the doorway. He glanced back at the guards and said, "You know, I think I'm going to have to have them arrested." The soldiers looked at each other in confusion and started to turn away, but were stopped by a loud noise. The sound of a scream, and a female voice yelling, "What the hell are you doing?" The guards turned back to the entrance and found a naked woman with a dagger in her hand on the floor, and a pair of large breasts swinging back and forth. They looked up at Geralt in confusion and fear. Geralt looked back and smiled. "You're not the first one to tell me I'm doing a great job, right?" He drew the katana from its scabbard and swung it towards the woman, slicing her in half through the chest, killing her instantly. She shrieked, and her
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Nov 12, 2019 21:54
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*teleports behind you* "Nothing personal, kid." *teleports around the floor and stands in front of you, glaring at you* "Hmph. You think you're a big deal?" "What? I don't know. Maybe I'm just jealous that you're better looking and taller. You'll never win, kid." *walks over to you, grabs you by the collar of your shirt and shoves you down into a pile of trash. You scream* "No! Don't!" *pulls a knife out of your shirt and cuts you in the back* "No! Don't!" *pulls a gun out of your shirt and shoots you* "Don't!" *pulls a flamethrower out of your shirt, shoots the pile of trash that you've been hiding behind* *pulls a sword out of your shirt, swings it over your head, then stabs you in the stomach, then on the back of the head* *teleports behind you* "Nothing personal, kid." *teleports behind* "I see you're still here. No point in trying to leave now, eh?" *teleports behind you* "Now, if you'll just stand still. *claps* you're gonna need the rest of that healing potion, you know." *teleports behind you* "Now, do you have any idea what you're doing, kid?" *teleports behind you* "Oh dear, you are such a silly little... *pats you on head* "Look kid, I'm not saying I won't help you, I'm just saying I won't tell you again. So just stand there, and I'll heal you!" *teleports behind you* "Ah, the smell of your healing potion. Now I know how your mother can get so bored. So, sit there, and let me heal you." *teleports behind you* "Now, get back here, you little wench *teleports behind you* "Nothing personal, kid." - *teleports behind you* No, I'm not angry that you're a dick. *teleports behind you* Just, no, no! *teleports behind you* Just go away! *teleports behind you* Hey, you're a jerk! *teleports behind you* I hate jerks! *teleports behind you* I really hate jerks! *teleports behind you* Why does that jerk hate me? I am just doing what I do best. *teleports behind you* I can't stand jerks, so I'm gonna stab them. *teleports behind you* I have to stab jerks. I have to stab jerks, you know? *teleports behind you* You jerk.
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Nov 12, 2019 22:48
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(The old man berates the millennial for several minutes) Millennial: Ok, boomer. Let's not start this again! The old man: Look, dude, I'm not even an American. If I was, I would understand the importance of the Declaration of Independence, or the Constitution. The millennial: Ok. The old man: So don't try to lecture me! The millennial: Ok. The old man: OK. OK. The millennial: I'll go sit down. The old man: OK, bro. (The millennial sits down in a chair and starts reading the Declaration of Independence) Millennial: Okay. The old man: That is awesome! You should've read that when you were seven! Millennial: You know, I have to go.
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Nov 12, 2019 23:16
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Donald Trumps’s all-natural instant erection concoction has changed the 2020 presidential election to an all-nude orgy of iphone-smashing and "soul-searching." The Republican nominee's "dick-measuring" contest will, of course, be fought out in front of a giant, golden-skinned penis. In the future, everyone will be able to see that this golden phallus is an actual object in a world in which penis-worship is a legal activity. The new game is expected to take place on a remote island called "Orbital Ape-land," where every candidate will have to demonstrate their "penis size" (that's like size of the thing, not how large) in front of an enormous, round, phallic statue. Advertisement
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Nov 12, 2019 23:39
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 05:17 |
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At the height of the Something Awful forums, people had become used to this constant and repetitive chatter of one voice, in one room. A common theme for these rants was the constant mention of the word "retard," in every other sentence. The Something Awful forums were a haven for anyone who thought they were funny, smart, or creative, but were afraid of failure, rejection, or ridicule. In short, they were a bastion of free speech. That is no longer the case. One of the biggest changes in the community has been the use of the phrase "retard" as a pejorative term. This is a step too far, as it has been used by some members of the community in an attempt to belittle and belittle others. I find it incredibly offensive that a group of people can be so vile and hateful towards one another, but that this is how these people have become so popular. --------------------------------------------------- At the height of the Something Awful forums, where most of the online gaming community gathers, I met a group of young men who were taking a break from shooting each other in the head with Nerf blasters. They were all wearing black T-shirts emblazoned with the logo of the website and the message "A new wave of young, tech-savvy gamers is here to kick rear end and eat pizza."
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Nov 13, 2019 00:17
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