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19 o'clock posted:I’m on the bullet train to Osaka for a couple nights before heading back to Tokyo. I thought they only took a couple hours? 
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Nov 13, 2019 09:31
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Stringent posted:I thought they only took a couple hours? Booooooooo!
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Nov 13, 2019 11:58
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Osaka spaworld calayer kushikatsu that's all I got and It's Plenty Good
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Nov 13, 2019 13:27
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So for context my wife is Japanese, we met when I was in the Navy. We've been together for 15 years, married 11. We have a 7yr old daughter. I worked a demanding and stressful job, typically between 50-70hrs per week for 7yrs, the first 5yrs I was the sole breadwinner. My work went through a major restructure at one point which resulted in a pay cut, this put a major strain on the relationship as I accumulated credit card debt in order to cover the bills, and my wife accused me being financially irresponsible for having it.. even though 100% of my income was going towards bills and essential expenses. She would also complain I didn't take her out enough. It didn't matter that these were conflicting goals, I was somehow supposed to do both. Eventually I got a promotion that alleviated the debt, but it would be a recurring theme in arguments we had over the next five years, saying i'm financially irresponsible (even though it's paid off and my credit score is north of 800) With the changes made at work (financial services sales) they changed the way sales compensation was structured. It meant that I had approx. 3yrs before my income would start dropping again (they changed it so recurring revenue doesn't count towards your bonus, but if you lose any recurring revenue your bonus decreases). Things weren't going well at work, I tried finding another job outside of the industry, but was unsuccessful. I started smoking weed to help with the anxiety and stress. Ironically enough it helped me at work where I became a "top performer", and that helped the finances out a lot. But I knew it was temporary, so I kept trying to find a new position in another industry. When that didn't work I tried to start a business and even quit smoking while working on it, but my wife shot that down citing my "financial irresponsibility". Feeling trapped and depressed I started smoking weed again, my wife eventually found out and got super pissed. That I understand, but it was hard to quit because it was the only part of my day that I looked forward too. I knew my job was an eventual dead end and I hated coming home because she would find small things to argue about (grocery receipt left on the counter, wrong dish in the dishwasher, my laptop being left on the coffee table, etc.) About a year after that she started working again full time, but only would only cover about 10% of the monthly bills. Because it's the husband's responsibility to handle finances. At work things got progressively worse. It got to a point where 90% of the clients on my calendar I didn't get any credit for speaking with. This made it impossible to hit the transactional goals, and within two years of being a top performer I was terminated for missing quotas. This was November a year ago. Being unemployed was a new level of stress, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Finding a job that wasn't minimum wage proved difficult, especially as another month goes by and that gap on resume grows. My wife was at first understanding, but as she had to pick up more of the household expenses at this point (paying 50% of expenses now) she would get frustrated and call me a loser, and belittle me, demand that I take a minimum wage job. It didn't matter that I applied to several hundred opening, attended 8 job fairs, had my resume reviewed several times, worked with recruiters, worked with vocational rehab folks at VA, worked with a placement specialist at VA to get a job that paid more than minimum wage. My wife and I got into a big argument in March, she threw her wedding ring into the trash. I fished it out later. We got into another fight towards the end of April. She cornered me in the bedroom and barricaded herself in front of door. We were both yelling at each other, I tried to leave but she wouldn't let me pass. So I grabbed her and I moved her. Eventually I made it past and went outside to sit on the steps outside to cool down. She locked me out while I was just in my socks with my wallet still in the house. I slept in my car that night and it still cold in April where I live. She ended up destroying my laptop (and all the copies of my resumes, cover letters, the spreadsheet I was using to track what positions I applied for, etc.) She told me she was divorcing me and taking our daughter away. The next day I tied a noose and tied it up in the garage. I eventually called a suicide hotline because I didn't want my daughter to grow up without a father. I made an appt with a VA counselor, which helped some. I quit weed for good at that point. Things were always still rocky with the wife, would still provoke petty arguments. She started working later into the evening. She started to have more ladies nights with her friends (about two nights a week on average). She would go upstairs in her office saying she was doing work stuff on her computer. She started taking birth control, said because her doctor recommended it and because it helps make her skin better... this despite the fact we might have sex once every 1 to 3 months and the birth control makes her feel nauseous. One evening she came home from then gym 45min after they closed (we live 5min away), and got angry that I asked her about it. Then last month she took a six hour road trip with her friends to Chicago. When she got back we had another fight about money, and how she's sick of having to pay all these bills (i'm still paying 50% of household expenses from savings even after unemployment ran out). Then she took a flight to LA, alone, to visit one of her friends that moved there. But I did accept a position (at a financial services company), but it's not ideal- 1099 so no salary or benefits, and no income yet. I had never invaded her privacy until the LA trip, I had trusted her completely but way too many red flags now. She had a suitcase in her upstairs office that was locked. I found torn up receipts for about $300 worth of lingerie in her trash. She spent $1600 on a Louis vitton bag. About $2k on at a skin rejuvenation clinic. I found out she has enough sexy underwear to wear something different every day of the year. When she got back from LA she had another locked suitcase upstairs (usually we keep our luggage in downstairs storage). I picked the locks. More lingerie in the LA suitcase. In the other suitcase safety deposit keys. Passports for her and my daughter. A few thousand in dollars worth of yen and I discovered she's hiding about $126k in japanese bank accounts. This is from an inheritance 5 years ago, which she said was only 20k that she used on a car. I found out she recently started process to take out a 12mo lease on an apartment near her work. I then backed up the hard drive of her computer to an external hard drive. I found she had secretly recorded me three times, she would goad me into an argument and then record it. I found pictures she took of my gmail account, showing passwords to other accounts I have. I found pictures she took while going through my belongings. I found pictures of other dudes. I founds +600 selfies she had been taking (starting in early March of this year), these were all in the icloud downloads folder. I founds short sexy videos she made. Looking at image names she didn't download all of them. Most were with clothes on, but some were in her panties in sexy poses, one was topless but she covered her beasts with hearts. This summer she dipped out of a family trip a day early to take a bunch of photos. I found photos she took at a male strip club. I found photos she took the same night of our anniversary dinner. I found a screenshot where she had conversations going with a bunch of guys. I followed her to the gym one night. She did go, but never made it out of the parking lot. Sat on her phone the entire time in the parking lot for over an hour. I confront her 10/29, she flat out denies everything. And we go in circles for several hours. I don't reveal what I know. The next morning she shows me the paperclip pick I used to get into her suitcases (she went through my desk again). She says I was violating her trust and I'm acting paranoid. I tell her about the receipts I found for the lingerie before her solo trips. She says I'm being paranoid and a stalker and she doesn't like it, says she just collects lingerie (she's never worn it lingerie in front of me since we've been together). She says she doesn't talk to any guys, doesn't have any guy friends. Eventually I show her a picture of one of the guys and ask who he is. She says she was on a language exchange app "HelloTalk", because I get mad when she asks me for help with english (this is false, I've spent hours working on her resume and other docs so she could get her current job). She says guys send her pictures and she ignores them. I show other pictures and videos they sent her (none were super dirty, but it was them playing music for her, or flexing in work out videos, etc.) so I ask to see her conversations with them or her icloud account for the time she was in LA and she refuses to show me, saying there is nothing to show. I show her the topless photo and ask who she sent that too. She denies she sent it to anyone (i point out that she spent a lot of time editing it just to not send it). She denies again. I show her the short sexy videos she made. I get her to admit she talks to some of them on snapchat, whatsapp, and line. So far she hasn't admitted anything until I show her direct evidence. She denies it was anything more messaging over the internet, and none of these guys live anywhere near us. Well I created an account on "HelloTalk", one guy lives in Chicago, two live in Japan, and two live in LA. Eventually she apologizes. Say she can understand why I would feel this way. Still denies doing anything more than talking and sending fully clothed photos. She says she realized she wouldn't be able to make it on her own, and how much our daughter needs me. That she still loves me, that she will stop it, and that it didn't mean anything she just liked the attention. She said it was like a drug. I feel completely destroyed. Physically sick. Totally betrayed.. her behavior suddenly makes so much more sense. We talk more. We decide to give it another chance and do marriage counseling. For a moment I was relieved. I delete the photos (but still have the backup on the external hard drive). Paranoia stopped. I was able to be somewhat productive at my new position. I sent a bunch of options for marriage counselors, but found out none accepted by our insurance. We have an okay weekend, she's treating me nicer, but her actions over the next 9 days haven't really changed, and she's taken no initiative of her own to try and improve the relationship since our long talk. Fridays we have designated family time, she skipped out on one so she could spend 1k on the iphone 11 pro. She cut the other one short bc she made our daughter do extra homework. Doesn't want to spend time alone with me. Spending a lot of time alone upstairs. Going to they gym and sitting in her car in the parking lot still. She took her locked suitcase with the cash and passports and locked them in the trunk of her car. So I called her out on her behavior last saturday. She responds by disappearing for most of the weekend with our daughter, came home at 11:30pm on Saturday, 8pm on Sunday, but otherwise gone the whole day and completely avoiding me and ignoring my texts. I do more paranoid searching of her computer (after many failed attempts at guessing password), find out she electronically signed the lease agreement a few days after we 'made up' but before I called her out on her behavior. She says via text that she feels threatened by me and says I've made threats against her in the past (not true). I've never hit, kicked, or thrown anything at her - but she has done all of those things to me. Monday I pick my daughter up, have her do her homework and after we go out and play some pokemon GO. My wife called me once that night but i didn't answer it bc I was driving. When I get back i see my wife took some of her clothes and her computer. She left me a note that she contacted the police and to call her when I get home. I do, but no answer. Today as my daughter and I are eating dinner there is a knock on the door. It's the police. They say my ex-wife is here to pick up my daughter. They ask about custody arrangement, i tell them we haven't divorced yet, told them I just found out she was cheating on me. Luckily they seemed okay. They ask if there is any threat of flight, from either me or her - I told them about the go bag in my wife's trunk with the money and passports, but told them I don't think she's got any tickets to go fly back to Japan in the next week. My daughter leaves with my soon to be ex-wife. She's not responding to my text when i ask when I'll see my daughter again. So that's where I am right now. Cheating soon to be ex-wife, no daughter. About to be divorced with no income atm, and currently a wreck. So how hosed am I? TL:DR Job and wife throw me into depression, leading to unemployment. Wife ends up cheating. Try to reconcile, didn't work. About to be divorced with a custody fight i'm likely to loose.
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Nov 13, 2019 19:14
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LimburgLimbo posted:So for context my wife is Japanese, we met when I was in the Navy. We've been together for 15 years, married 11. We have a 7yr old daughter. That's definitely a post.
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Nov 13, 2019 19:29
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(borat)
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Nov 13, 2019 20:01
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My friend has been craving some Kirin Hyoketsu Peach since getting back from his trip a few months back. It'd be way too expensive to import, but could I make roughly the same thing by pouring some soda into peach liqueur (or vodka and peach juice with soda?). I can't remember if the real stuff is made with vodka or shochu. For reference: this stuff: 
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Nov 13, 2019 20:04
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Chuhai is real hard to find/crazy expensive outside Japan. Mixing your own is basically shochu, soda water, simple syrup, and peach flavoring/juice, all of which are easy enough to get. The shochu may be tough depending where you are. Do NOT substitute soju, they are not the same thing. A bottle of decent sweet potato shochu will probably run you $25-30. Good shochu does have a particular flavor and vodka isn't a substitute but if you can't shochu, it's the best you're going to do. When I do a lemon sour I mix roughly 1:1 lemon juice and simple syrup, two parts shochu, mix with ice, top off with soda water.
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Nov 13, 2019 22:04
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Looks like we'll be giving the homemade stuff a shot then, thanks! Shochu isn't as cheap as I'd like here, so we'll see how the vodka fares.
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Nov 13, 2019 22:31
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Keep an eye out for the shochu if you're in the US. It shows up weird places. Was stupid expensive at the Japanese supermarket, but I found some real good shochu hiding among the liqueurs at my just random rear end neighborhood liquor store for $20 a bottle and stocked the hell up. No idea how that happened and I don't ask questions.
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Nov 13, 2019 22:38
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There's a bunch of liquor stores around here that are 'world' whatever that never have shochu. The Japan sections are almost always just plum wines, sake, and some whiskey. What I should do is ask the local sushi joints where they get theirs.
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Nov 13, 2019 23:02
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Shochu seems to be unknown outside of Japan, I don't think I've ever even seen it in a restaurant in Europe.
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Nov 13, 2019 23:06
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my fav bar in Shanghai is a shochu bar run by tibetans where they make a lot of their own poo poo and it rules.
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Nov 14, 2019 00:49
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LimburgLimbo posted:So how hosed am I? Look on the bright side OP, at least you're not sitting around copy pasting poo poo from reddit in a SA tourism thread!
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Nov 14, 2019 00:57
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Stringent posted:Look on the bright side OP, at least you're not sitting around copy pasting poo poo from reddit in a SA tourism thread!
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Nov 14, 2019 02:00
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I've an undying desire to visit Japan while it's snowing (there is none whatsoever where I live); if I went in February which parts of it would still be covered in snow? I know Hokkaido would probably be but I'm a scrub that doesn't drive and I know Hokkaido kind of sorta needs it.
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Nov 14, 2019 02:40
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Basically the Sea of Japan side of Honshu is snowy as hell and the Pacific side is not. When I was there in February there was snow in Kyoto, around Lake Biwa, Kanazawa, and in the mountain towns like Takayama. No cars necessary. You can also go up to like Aomori and it'll be snowy everywhere. The southern bit of Hokkaido, the Sapporo to Hakodate area, has decent rail transit and you wouldn't need a car there.
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Nov 14, 2019 02:47
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Stringent posted:Look on the bright side OP, at least you're not sitting around copy pasting poo poo from reddit in a SA tourism thread! Tourists gotta know the downside of shacking up with Gaijin hunters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Nov 14, 2019 02:59
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LimburgLimbo posted:Tourists gotta know the downside of shacking up with Gaijin hunters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ That and the downsides of being the kind of soulless ghoul that seeks solace in the misfortunes of others, which honestly is the more likely scenario.
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Nov 14, 2019 03:09
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Reallycoolname posted:I've an undying desire to visit Japan while it's snowing (there is none whatsoever where I live); if I went in February which parts of it would still be covered in snow? All the major snow resorts are typically still completely covered throughout February. Staying close to Tokyo, you could check some mountain/resort towns in Nagano, Niigata, Gunma, etc.
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Nov 14, 2019 03:50
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DiscoJ posted:All the major snow resorts are typically still completely covered throughout February. Staying close to Tokyo, you could check some mountain/resort towns in Nagano, Niigata, Gunma, etc. Gunma in particular has some really ace onsens and shitloads of snow which is a good combination.
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Nov 14, 2019 03:51
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Going to be in Tokyo for a couple days starting around the beginning of December. It'll be my first time in Japan so I've been making a big rear end list of things to see and do down there, and I've got a friend that lives there that'll show me around for a few days. Anyone have any recommendations on places to check out? I'm a big game nerd so I've marked down some of the bigger game shops and arcades to check out, and any good music club recommendations are welcome too.
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Nov 14, 2019 03:52
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CharlestonJew posted:Going to be in Tokyo for a couple days starting around the beginning of December. It'll be my first time in Japan so I've been making a big rear end list of things to see and do down there, and I've got a friend that lives there that'll show me around for a few days. Anyone have any recommendations on places to check out? I'm a big game nerd so I've marked down some of the bigger game shops and arcades to check out, and any good music club recommendations are welcome too. Unfortunately for you this place is shutting down Sunday: https://tokyocheapo.com/entertainment/anata-no-warehouse-arcade-kawasaki/ I assume you've got Mikado in Takadanobaba marked already?
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Nov 14, 2019 03:59
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Stringent posted:Unfortunately for you this place is shutting down Sunday: Yeah I'm getting in at the worst possible moment for the Kowloon arcade, it looks so drat rad. Mikado's definitely on the list, I watch their live feed on Twitch sometimes so definitely going to check it out live
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Nov 14, 2019 04:15
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God drat it, the Kawasaki arcade's going away? That place was batshit amazing, even the toilets stuck to the theme. It was a bit surreal playing Sonic Blast Man in the middle of a faux decrepit apartment block though. Then again the place probably wasn't making that much money... hopefully whatever takes over can keep the aesthetics at least.
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Nov 14, 2019 07:40
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How do I LINE with cool japan goons??
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Nov 14, 2019 09:58
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Reallycoolname posted:God drat it, the Kawasaki arcade's going away? That place was batshit amazing, even the toilets stuck to the theme. It was a bit surreal playing Sonic Blast Man in the middle of a faux decrepit apartment block though. The difference between men’s and women’s toilets was one of my favourite things about that place. But from what I read on Twitter, the closure is due to the lease/landlord issues rather than just revenue problems. There’s a chance it’ll ‘reappear’ somewhere, and the warehouse brand actually has multiple locations. The Kawasaki branch is just the most unique and well known.
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Nov 14, 2019 10:45
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CharlestonJew posted:Yeah I'm getting in at the worst possible moment for the Kowloon arcade, it looks so drat rad. My friend went to Mikado while my wife and I did hipster poo poo in Nakameguro. He said the smoke was insufferable.
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Nov 14, 2019 14:35
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Tom Smykowski posted:How do I LINE with cool japan goons?? Get another member to add you. If you're devastatingly friendless, pm me for my email and I'll send you a qr code.
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Nov 14, 2019 16:05
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Hit me with some Tōkyō neighborhood hot takes. Last time I was there, I stayed with a friend in Sangenjaya and then at a place in Shimokitazawa, and both were great areas to chill in. If I don't end up staying with my friend again, I'm thinking about staying in either Kōenji or Nakameguro this time. Kōenji seems more my vibe and less pretentious, but Nakameguro seems better connected and, let's be honest, I guiltily kind of enjoyed walking around checking out the boutiques over there last time. Also, I need recommendations for dope record stores in Tōkyō and Kyōto that have a good selection. Help me achieve my goal of hunting down my stupidly difficult to find Aoba Ichiko LPs.
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Nov 14, 2019 16:45
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If anyone is searching for a good whiskey bar in Golden Gai, I highly recommend Bar Asyl. It’s on a second floor so a little hard to spot, but the bartender is amazing, and he speaks English if that’s important to you. Also, he plays great music. https://asyl.exblog.jp
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Nov 14, 2019 17:57
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The best thing about Nakameguro is that it has a Banpaiya
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Nov 14, 2019 18:04
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I went to this place Green Bean to Bar that makes their own chocolate and lets you sample all of them in Nakameguro. Expensive to actually buy stuff, but very tasty. I had chocolate flavored sake. Not as gross as it sounds.
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Nov 14, 2019 19:10
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LimburgLimbo posted:So for context my wife is Japanese, we met when I was in the Navy. We've been together for 15 years, married 11. We have a 7yr old daughter.
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Nov 14, 2019 20:24
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So I guess it's effectively impossible to bring Adderall into Japan, huh? This complicates things, as someone who was diagnosed this year and started taking it regularly.
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Nov 14, 2019 21:31
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Keret posted:So I guess it's effectively impossible to bring Adderall into Japan, huh? This complicates things, as someone who was diagnosed this year and started taking it regularly. Yeah, very strict no-no. Talk to your doctor about non-stimulant alternatives.
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Nov 14, 2019 22:13
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Chuhai is specifically made with kourui shochu, so flavorless. The stuff in the can is made with vodka. Go to town!!
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Nov 15, 2019 04:43
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My wife was amused that I had no problem navigating us around Kabukicho last night due to playing Yakuza so much. At least I’m going to tell myself it was amusement and not pity.
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Nov 15, 2019 05:09
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zmcnulty posted:Chuhai is specifically made with kourui shochu, so flavorless. The stuff in the can is made with vodka. Go to town!!
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Nov 15, 2019 09:03
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Slow Graffiti posted:My wife was amused that I had no problem navigating us around Kabukicho last night due to playing Yakuza so much. At least I’m going to tell myself it was amusement and not pity. Its really funny when you walk into a 7-11 and realize that everything is on the same place as in games. One of my Japanese friends actually started laughing when I showed him Yakuza 4's karaoke. It was furnished exactly like the karaokekans several years back.
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Nov 15, 2019 10:02
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