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Shame Boy posted:i think i said it before but you're like, super brave and cool and are tackling a lot of this poo poo head-on really fast in a country that's not exactly happy with your existence, and that's awesome even if they're trying to make it as hard as fuckin' possible. I am not brave, I’m just asking for something that should be normal. I would romanticize that it is only in my Polish nature to go boldly into lost fight. Like in some awful Sabaton song that I enjoy for some reason.
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Nov 24, 2019 18:54
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RustyKnight posted:I am not brave, I’m just asking for something that should be normal. sounds pretty brave to me tbqh
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Nov 24, 2019 19:01
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an online acquaintance of mine is coming to Chicago for a convention in a couple weeks and they’re so uncomfortable with the idea of the TSA that they’re opting to fly from Ottawa to Windsor and then drive the rest of the way.
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Nov 24, 2019 19:43
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minivanmegafun posted:an online acquaintance of mine is coming to Chicago for a convention in a couple weeks and they’re so uncomfortable with the idea of the TSA that they’re opting to fly from Ottawa to Windsor and then drive the rest of the way. If they don't like to be touched by randoms because they stick out as "not what we expected" in the bodyscanner then I don't blame them. At minimum I get a quick hand patdown every time I go through and I just kinda mentally check out every time.
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Nov 25, 2019 00:51
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yeah I don’t blame them either. I am not looking forward to my first trip through airport security after starting hrt but i have at least two work related trips coming up in 2020.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:48
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it is wholly unfair to have to pay for the privilege of not being groped but could you get TSA Precheck? It lets you just go through a standard metal detector 99.5% of the time.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:50
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i have never, ever not been groped when going through the backscatter scanners and my ID gender matches what i present as so i think they just do that for everyone
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Nov 25, 2019 05:22
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Shifty Pony posted:it is wholly unfair to have to pay for the privilege of not being groped but could you get TSA Precheck? It lets you just go through a standard metal detector 99.5% of the time. i don't think you can get precheck until you're actually in the country, or at least last time I checked you couldn't anywhere but the US and bizarrely Dubai for some reason, that might be different now though.
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Nov 25, 2019 05:23
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Shame Boy posted:i have never, ever not been groped when going through the backscatter scanners and my ID gender matches what i present as so i think they just do that for everyone the tsa is full of sexual assaulters like all border agencies, yes
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Nov 25, 2019 05:54
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Shame Boy posted:i don't think you can get precheck until you're actually in the country, or at least last time I checked you couldn't anywhere but the US and bizarrely Dubai for some reason, that might be different now though. I think that's still the case. it also takes several weeks to process so I was more mentioning it for minivanmegafun themself not their friend.
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Nov 25, 2019 13:19
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jit bull transpile posted:love to have the tsa take out and individually examine each of my four successively larger dilators in front of 50 people. brassard gave me a letter to fly with. I have yet to use it but probably will in the near future also I broke a dilator and my soap holder in my shower recently
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Nov 25, 2019 18:57
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 the largest one I have weighs 265 grams so it is no wonder it broke this when it slipped out of my hand in the shower
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Nov 25, 2019 19:00
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jit bull transpile posted:I certainly find it othering and embarrassing when a room full of cis people I haven't even disclosed to are fawning all over themselves sharing pronouns Can someone spell out what's bad about this to me (a cis guy)? I have been in a room where everyone stated their name and pronoun, with no visibly trans people, and thought it was a good way not to just assume everyone's pronoun.
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Nov 25, 2019 19:15
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she kinda said some reasons in her post there. if you’re one of the few trans queer people it can feel... self congratulatory, patting themselves that they’re doing Good. it’s good practice tho to normalize that kind of stuff, get people to think about gender, esp for people who can’t be stealth. but you stand out extra, there’s a sense it’s all being done for you, if everyone else is cis and knows it. I guess the thing is you don’t truly know, tho
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Nov 25, 2019 19:46
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dividertabs posted:Can someone spell out what's bad about this to me (a cis guy)? I have been in a room where everyone stated their name and pronoun, with no visibly trans people, and thought it was a good way not to just assume everyone's pronoun. there's a difference between doing it as a matter of course because you should / always do / whatever and doing it to show The Trans Person how woke you are, and i'd say it prolly comes down to attitude while saying it and how much everyone looks at The Trans Person while doing it. even without being trans you can prolly imagine the difference between doing it normally and doing it preformatively, y'know? that actually reminded me, back in college when i first moved into the dorms we did one of those "say who you are and something about yourself to everyone else who lives on your floor" things. i said some miscellaneous boring stuff and then mentioned i was gay (which is what i told people back then) to just get that poo poo out there ahead of time, and everyone fuckin' applauded me lmao
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Nov 25, 2019 19:59
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Shame Boy posted:and everyone fuckin' applauded me lmao My worst so far is an "I support you." unsolicited from a person working at a clothing store.
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Nov 25, 2019 20:09
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Thank you for explaining it.quote:even without being trans you can prolly imagine the difference between doing it normally and doing it preformatively, y'know?
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Nov 25, 2019 20:42
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on top of what other folks have said, there's the slightly more privileged thing that for many trans women and men who are binary the goal is to just live as yourself in your real gender and not have it questioned. in the past it was possible to be "stealth" and people would just treat you as the woman or man you were without question. with the increased visibility of nb people it's now hard to do that in progressive and supportive spaces. you're expected to label yourself trans before every conversation, which can make you feel less authentic and more labeled and othered the thing is that for nb people having a strong culture of announcing pronouns and such is really important as it helps them not be misgendered. it's a place where the needs of the binary and non binary sides of the community have conflicting needs. maybe eventually well figure out a good way to do both but in the mean time it can sometimes feel like I'm being forced to disclose my trans status at gunpoint whenever I'm among progressive people.
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Nov 25, 2019 20:44
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Thanks, I had not considered this at all!
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Nov 25, 2019 20:59
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people volunteering pronouns is one thing but everyone being required to give pronouns as part of an organized introduction or just due to social pressure is legit something I've had nightmares about since it would be "come out as non-binary to everyone here right now or publicly misgender yourself".
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Nov 25, 2019 21:40
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jit bull transpile posted:on top of what other folks have said, there's the slightly more privileged thing that for many trans women and men who are binary the goal is to just live as yourself in your real gender and not have it questioned. in the past it was possible to be "stealth" and people would just treat you as the woman or man you were without question. with the increased visibility of nb people it's now hard to do that in progressive and supportive spaces. you're expected to label yourself trans before every conversation, which can make you feel less authentic and more labeled and othered Thanks for putting up with the questions, it really helps.
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Nov 25, 2019 21:54
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Shifty Pony posted:people volunteering pronouns is one thing but everyone being required to give pronouns as part of an organized introduction or just due to social pressure is legit something I've had nightmares about since it would be "come out as non-binary to everyone here right now or publicly misgender yourself". This sucks, just a little, every goddamn time. It's like, is this meeting of the Whatever Society of Progressive Local Politics really the place I want to come out? Is this going to be the time I fall on my face trying to explain my Gender Feelings, or am I just going to feel another twinge of discomfort again? I think about how it'd make my friends in the room feel, how it'd distract from the reason we're *at* this meeting in the first place, center me instead of the stuff we're trying to do, and, ugh. So far it's always the discomfort one. So, I hate it, but when I'm running the Something Or Other Club meetings I start with it anyway. This conversation has me reconsidering whether I should do that so uncritically.
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Nov 26, 2019 00:13
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Personally I prefer a little bit of clumsy overdoing it to being trapped in a situation where I'm forced to deal with people who drop "shemales" right to my fuckin face.
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Nov 26, 2019 20:11
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Fatty Crabcakes posted:Personally I prefer a little bit of clumsy overdoing it to being trapped in a situation where I'm forced to deal with people who drop "shemales" right to my fuckin face. fair. that's why I emphasize that it's a very privileged complaint.
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Nov 26, 2019 22:57
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i think the worst thing that ever happened with respect to coming out was dealing with a crossplayer who wanted to complain that his wife didn't like what he was doing as a hobby and was comparing my coming out to that. he was amongst a handful that bothered to compare their drag hobbies to my being trans which was just cringe city i just nodded the whole time and then proceeded to never talk to him again
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Nov 26, 2019 23:47
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I just "right then, I'm out" from the conversation any time drag comes up in comparison to my hormonal refactoring.
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Nov 27, 2019 01:06
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hey I'm changing my name and avatar later everyone pls post cool gangtags I should have
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Nov 28, 2019 05:52
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jit bull transpile posted:hey I'm changing my name and avatar later everyone pls post cool gangtags I should have 
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Nov 28, 2019 06:30
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dammit why does my longvatar have a gap. graph what did i do wrong
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Nov 28, 2019 07:57
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did you hit return between the two parts hahah
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Nov 28, 2019 09:08
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Synthbuttrange posted:did you hit return between the two parts hahah Nah, the software is weird if I remember right.
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Nov 28, 2019 14:47
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https://twitter.com/queen_lindsey21/status/1199747513353490434
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Nov 29, 2019 08:43
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Let's gameify coming out, I think, before going directly to hell.
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Nov 29, 2019 17:10
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that is one hell of a way to come out
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Nov 29, 2019 18:31
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lol
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Nov 29, 2019 19:22
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update: i am no longer dating anyone, she peacefully said that she is not feeling anything towards me, i’m ok at least she wasn’t giving me false hopes, this sucks but at least i don’t have to be stressed out thinking if i am good enough or something.
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Nov 29, 2019 21:53
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RustyKnight posted:update: i am no longer dating anyone, she peacefully said that she is not feeling anything towards me, i’m ok at least she wasn’t giving me false hopes, this sucks but at least i don’t have to be stressed out thinking if i am good enough or something. 
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Nov 29, 2019 22:12
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look at all these relationshiphavers here why deal with that when you can simply withdraw? the best goal in life is to reduce suffering
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Nov 29, 2019 22:16
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RustyKnight posted:update: i am no longer dating anyone, she peacefully said that she is not feeling anything towards me, i’m ok at least she wasn’t giving me false hopes, this sucks but at least i don’t have to be stressed out thinking if i am good enough or something. that super sucks, but otoh congratulations on making it out of your first relationship without a messy emotionally damaging breakup, you are already doing way better than i did 
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Nov 29, 2019 23:23
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Pollyanna posted:look at all these relationshiphavers here get this self defeating poo poo out of here.
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Nov 30, 2019 03:15
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