UKMT General Elexmas 2019 - casually eating surstromming

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elexmas 2019 - casually eating surstromming

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Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

Turns out I became an uncle at half twelve this morning.

I can't express how much I hope we can give her a society fit to live in on Thursday

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:03

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# ? May 27, 2024 21:43

jackhunter64: Aug 28, 2008; Keep it up son, take a look at what you could have won

Congratulations, it is now your uncle-ly duty to fill them with sugar and caffeine then return them to the parents half an hour before bed time then gently caress off home laughing, as I have done

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:24

Qwertycoatl: Dec 31, 2008

jackhunter64 posted:

Congratulations, it is now your uncle-ly duty to fill them with sugar and caffeine then return them to the parents half an hour before bed time then gently caress off home laughing, as I have done

Don't forget to get them a christmas present that makes a noise.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:30

bionic vapour boy: Feb 13, 2012; Impervious to fun.

Bacon Terrorist posted:

Had this through my door:

Guerilla leafletting

You got a smaller version?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:31

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

MSDOS KAPITAL posted:

so after they cop to it you'd just, what, stop turning the crank?

I will never stop cranking it!!

Firos posted:

That's when she'd bust out the sound.

E: Emphasis on bust.

I don't want them to suffer in a fun way!

Chuka Umana posted:

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/comment/this-election-is-an-upopularity-contest-9x96mb2qm

The right wing press is now going with the "this election is miserable and we, the reasonable centrists, see it for what it is!! All sides are bad!! Whoever wins we lose!!!"

This works as both an attempt to depress the turnout, AND as an effort to delegitimize a Corbyn victory! Strangely, I don't know if they will still be saying the winner has a "dubious mandate" if it happens to be Johnson, though that's an academic point because if he wasn't doomed before yesterday's debacle he is now.

Good work for their masters at any rate. Keep up this beat if Corbyn wins, or memory hole it if not.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:43

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Barry Foster posted:

Turns out I became an uncle at half twelve this morning.

I can't express how much I hope we can give her a society fit to live in on Thursday

That's awesome, congrats to you and the parents!!

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:44

Chuka Umana: Apr 30, 2019; by sebmojo

Good morning, only 48 hours left to change Britain!!

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:46

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

goddamnedtwisto posted:

I've hosed my vocal cords up from cheering, then booing, West Ham tonight and frankly whatever happens on Thursday can't be as loving abject as what I've just seen. This is the nearest I get to optimism, deal with it.

Also thanks for the answers on the mailshots, did anyone answer the question about EU citizens counting towards constituency sizes?

e: 140 is the number of players West Ham would have needed on the pitch to not completely gently caress up

You need to balance your cheers and your boos to get a proper all-around workout and avoid that problem. Try to pick a team that is kind of poo poo, but not too poo poo, so they can provide the correct kinds of inspiration :pseudo:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:51

c0burn: Sep 2, 2003; The KKKing

This NHS story, Boris being a weird phone stealing prat and journos being fed shite by senior Tories isn't dying off. Even the useless Dan walker was hammering them on BBC breakfast. Good stuff in the last few days

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:52

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

I'm genuinely not trying to be a sadbrains or to poo poo up the thread, this is just something I've been thinking about recently - just how hardened is the Tory vote? To what extent is it like the 30-40% of American voters who will never, ever abandon Trump?

Things seem so polarised that it feels like there's a certain bloc who are totally immune to all this awful awful poo poo. Hopefully these most recent atrocities motivate non voters, though?

Edit and thanks for the congrats guys. She was two weeks late! So it already feels like she's been here awhile, haha. Gonna see her at Christmas, where I will be bringing the most obnoxious possible toys. But also some books and stuff to balance it out. Maybe the second volume of Capital, the first might be a bit complicated for a baby

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:56

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

Yeah the Tories have a depressingly strong and high floor. But they're not attracting new voters or undecided voters. Turnout is our chief weapon.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 08:59

RockyB: Mar 8, 2007; Dog Therapy: Shockingly Good

Communist Thoughts posted:

tomorrow we're gonna get the turbo antisemitism campaign lol

?

Liking all the goon driven bots. Anyway, agenda for the day:

Me Four Days Ago posted:

- ECHR announcing an Islamophobia investigation into the Conservative party

- Jezza leaking the Russia report

- The guardian finally publishing an article by a pro-Corbyn Jew

- Andrew Neil spending 30 minutes screaming at an inflatable sex doll with Boris' face pasted on it

- Laura K taking 'voluntary redundancy' from the beeb

- Railway strike bought to an early end by hard man McDonnell and the ghost of Ed milliband having a 'sit down' with South Western railways.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:08

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

Well, it looks like the thing I was concerned about becoming a thing has become a thing. I have copied my post from yesterday below. Glad my cynicism turned out to be accurate!

I've seen the odd twat on Twitter claiming that the mum of the boy with suspected pneumonia moved him to the floor herself and is a Labour activist. This is bollocks, and in case it becomes a thing here are excerpts from her interview with The Mirror proving it is bollocks:

quote:

Jack and his worried mum were �blue-lighted� to Leeds General Infirmary, West Yorkshire, where she said he was seen �very quickly� and given a bed and oxygen in A&E.

But a few hours later she was told the bed was needed for another patient.

�A doctor rushed in said they needed Jack�s bed and literally within a minute all of his stuff was pulled out of the bed," she said.

"The doctor unplugged his oxygen, picked him up and moved us into what I would describe as a cupboard.

"They call it a treatment room. It was room without a bed.

�His oxygen was connected to the wall but he did not have a bed and he was really unwell.

"He kept asking to lay down. He was without a bed for four-and-a-half hours.

�He needed to go to sleep and he needed to lay down. He started falling asleep and he ended up going to sleep on a pile of coats.

�There was no bed for him in A&E and there was no bed for him on the ward, so he just had to sleep on the floor.

�The room was full of medical supplies. Doctors and nurses were coming in constantly saying �sorry, can I just take this, can I just take that.�

...

At 10pm Jack was taken to the hospital�s Children�s Assessment and Treatment Unit, where he was put on a trolley for five hours and had a series of tests.

She said her son was �confused and exhausted�.

�He just kept saying �I want to go to sleep�. He was laying on a plastic mattress with a sheet of paper pulled across him.�

She added: �The problem is they (the medics) were so busy and there weren�t enough beds. They just seemed stressed and under pressure.�

At 3am Jack finally got a bed on the ward and slept for a few hours, with his mum sat in a seat alongside him.

...

And Sarah, who also has a daughter, says she will be switching her support from Conservative to Labour at the ballot box on Thursday.

�This will the first time in my life where I will be voting Labour� she said.

...

Dr Yvette Oade, Chief Medical Officer at Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust said: �Our hospitals are extremely busy at the moment and we are very sorry that Jack�s family had a long wait in our Emergency Department.

"Our Chief Executive Julian Hartley has spoken to Jack�s mum and offered a personal apology." [statement continues until the end of this quote box]

...

"Unfortunately, the unit was also experiencing exceptionally high levels of demand which meant that Jack was required to wait in the clinical treatment room in the Paediatric Emergency Department until a bed became available."

...

�We are extremely sorry that there were only chairs available in the treatment room, and no bed. This falls below our usual high standards, and for this we would like to sincerely apologise to Jack and his family."

Jack was moved by hospital staff into a room with no beds, then moved onto a trolley, then finally given a bed. The hospital's Chief Executive acknowledged events and apologised personally to the family. Jack's mum didn't do any of the moving, and has never even voted Labour, let alone been an activist for them.

Also it was later determined that Jack had flu and tonsillitis rather than pneumonia, but nobody knew that until well after Jack was finally given a bed. Pneumonia was suspected throughout the whole affair. So if any loving monsters try the "well actually he didn't really have pneumonia" act, you've got ammo to blow that apart too.

Love to you all, hatred to the fash.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:08

Tarnop: Nov 25, 2013; Pull me out

Barry Foster posted:

Turns out I became an uncle at half twelve this morning.

I can't express how much I hope we can give her a society fit to live in on Thursday

Congrats! I love being an uncle. Enjoy teaching them bad things

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:10

MSDOS KAPITAL: Jun 25, 2018

Barry Foster posted:

I'm genuinely not trying to be a sadbrains or to poo poo up the thread, this is just something I've been thinking about recently - just how hardened is the Tory vote? To what extent is it like the 30-40% of American voters who will never, ever abandon Trump?

I think the people who turn to conservatism or fascism after seeing their lives and potential ruined by liberalism, are probably more gettable than the people who are conservative or fascist even after doing reasonably well within the framework provided by liberalism. Bear in mind that's not really a statement on who is the more reprehensible on a personal level - people tend to run the gamut - just a statement on what socialism has to offer each group relative to what they have now.

Which is to say that the really core base of their support is, as always, the petit-bourgeois. They will be the last to give up capitalism, fighting more fanatically and desperately to preserve it than even most actual capitalists, I suspect. I think that's quite a bit less than 40% of the public, but the rest of their hardened support - the people not making out okay - are going to need to see it in action before they come around, and frankly will need at least a bit of deprogramming in a lot of cases as well. And that's going to be tough because a lot of them are just awful people to be around and to talk to. But, you know, they're family, so.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:16

Azza Bamboo: Apr 7, 2018; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

I do wonder if there's voters out there who will make their decision based on leaflets they got through the door as though choosing a local MP was like choosing what takeaway you'll have tonight

"oh yeah I'll give that a try"

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:20

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

People's potential to be absolute idiots is basically limitless, see: Boris Johnson.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:24

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

namesake posted:

Labour is reported to have the most interactions, with The Times describing Labour's "aggressive, anti-establishment messages" as "beating clever Tory memes". In the first week of November, Labour is reported to have four of the five most "liked" tweets by political parties, many of the top interactions of Facebook posts, as well as being "dominant" on Instagram, where younger voters are particularly active.[97] Bloomberg reported that between 6�21 November the views on Twitter/Facebook were 18.7m/31.0m for Labour, 10m/15.5m for the Conservatives, 2.9m/2.0m for the Brexit Party, and 0.4m/1.4m for the Liberal Democrats.[98]

Yeah so it getting that many hits in a day will make it possibly the most viewed thing this election.

quote:

clever Tory memes

You what now?

The Right are becoming better at comedy, and it's making lefties nervous.

I reckon the clever Tory memesters are just taking Laura K's definition of shitposting at face value, and relying on the fact that some people will always argue that their latest pants-making GBS threads is actually 11th-dimensional chess, � la Cum Tzu. Surely they can't be this stupid and terrible? There must be a plan in there somewhere?

The class system at work.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:24

CGI Stardust: Nov 7, 2010; Brexit is but a door,
election time is but a window.

I'll be back

Azza Bamboo posted:

I do wonder if there's voters out there who will make their decision based on leaflets they got through the door as though choosing a local MP was like choosing what takeaway you'll have tonight

"oh yeah I'll give that a try"

getting the vindaloo voter onside with "Jeremy Corbyn 🌶🌶🌶"

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:26

stev: Jan 22, 2013; Please be excited.

He's snapped lads.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:32

DesperateDan: Dec 10, 2005; Where's my cow?

Is that my cow?

No it isn't, but it still tramples my bloody lavender.

Azza Bamboo posted:

I do wonder if there's voters out there who will make their decision based on leaflets they got through the door as though choosing a local MP was like choosing what takeaway you'll have tonight

"oh yeah I'll give that a try"

Voting kebab house 2000

Pizza chappie was putting out dodgy bar graphs

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:32

jackhunter64: Aug 28, 2008; Keep it up son, take a look at what you could have won

DesperateDan posted:

Voting kebab house 2000

Pizza chappie was putting out dodgy bar graphs

There's one on Chilly Road in Newcastle called 'Pizza Daddy', which sounds very distressing

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:42

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

https://twitter.com/lucydefenzi/status/1191775477813391360

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:46

dispatch_async: Nov 28, 2014; Imagine having the time to have played through 20 generations of one family in The Sims 2. Imagine making the original two members of that family Neil Buchanan and Cat Deeley. Imagine complaining to Maxis there was no technological progression. You've successfully imagined my life

A thread about the social media bots being employed by the Tories:

https://twitter.com/marcowenjones/status/1204183081009262592

Seems like the kind of disinformation-campaign-with-Russian-characteristics that CIA funded information warfare experts should look into

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:47

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

DesperateDan posted:

Voting kebab house 2000

Pizza chappie was putting out dodgy bar graphs

Pie charts, surely

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:49

Doccykins: Feb 21, 2006

Johnson is gonna lose his fuckin seat to Ali Milani :unsmigghh:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:54

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

The past several pages have been vet satisfying

Can't wait to see Johnson's dreams dashed

# ? Dec 10, 2019 09:58

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

Really excited for some Johnson humiliation on Thursday night.

Then afterwards I'll watch the election coverage.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:04

deletebeepbeepbeep: Nov 12, 2008

dispatch_async posted:

A thread about the social media bots being employed by the Tories:

https://twitter.com/marcowenjones/status/1204183081009262592

Seems like the kind of disinformation-campaign-with-Russian-characteristics that CIA funded information warfare experts should look into

Thanks for that. Interesting and honestly terrifying, the Internet was a mistake.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:05

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/RuairiWood/status/1204196386809548801

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:05

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

Here you go folks

https://twitter.com/jeremycorbyn/status/1204324372137357312?s=20

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:07

RockyB: Mar 8, 2007; Dog Therapy: Shockingly Good

But without the Internet could we have this?

https://twitter.com/PoliticsJOE_UK/status/1204162999990267904

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:08

lenoon: Jan 7, 2010

Communist Thoughts posted:

the only way we can lose is if the english vote for cruelty and stupidity

So the saes have doomed us all then

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:14

Angepain: Jul 13, 2012; what keeps happening to my clothes

People seem to be getting really mad about that baby photo, but there are still so many unanswered questions. E.g. that oxygen mask - it looks like the kind they'd use on someone much more seriously ill than the kid is supposed to be. Not to mention it doesn't even seem to be attached properly. I haven't seen anyone in the thread even try to address this. Seems to me we should start thinking about where this picture came from. Everyone's going to mock me for my brave questioning of these narratives, but think about it. Suppose the Russians were behind it?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:15

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

dispatch_async posted:

A thread about the social media bots being employed by the Tories:

https://twitter.com/marcowenjones/status/1204183081009262592

Seems like the kind of disinformation-campaign-with-Russian-characteristics that CIA funded information warfare experts should look into

Don't worry, I'm sending up the Brown Moses signal!

*does handstand*

*shits pants*

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:16

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Angepain posted:

People seem to be getting really mad about that baby photo, but there are still so many unanswered questions. E.g. that oxygen mask - it looks like the kind they'd use on someone much more seriously ill than the kid is supposed to be. Not to mention it doesn't even seem to be attached properly. I haven't seen anyone in the thread even try to address this. Seems to me we should start thinking about where this picture came from. Everyone's going to mock me for my brave questioning of these narratives, but think about it. Suppose the Russians were behind it?

As a senior nurse practitioner for Jaguar Land Rover, I can confirm that the device is not an oxygen mask, it's a medical device known as a BAW bag.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:18

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

Angepain posted:

People seem to be getting really mad about that baby photo, but there are still so many unanswered questions. E.g. that oxygen mask - it looks like the kind they'd use on someone much more seriously ill than the kid is supposed to be. Not to mention it doesn't even seem to be attached properly. I haven't seen anyone in the thread even try to address this. Seems to me we should start thinking about where this picture came from. Everyone's going to mock me for my brave questioning of these narratives, but think about it. Suppose the Russians were behind it?

Russia is the largest country in the world, and therefore has the most oxygen! :tinfoil:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:18

DesperateDan: Dec 10, 2005; Where's my cow?

Is that my cow?

No it isn't, but it still tramples my bloody lavender.

sebzilla posted:

Pie charts, surely

Goddamnit how did I miss that one

Best chuck another fiver at labour about it, they are cheeky bastards tho

"Can you donate just 3 quid"

Click

"How about a fiver"

Click

"Actually the average is 13 quid c'mon son"

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:19

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

"13 is unlucky, make it 14?"

"Let's round that up to 20"

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:24

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# ? May 27, 2024 21:43

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

DesperateDan posted:

Goddamnit how did I miss that one

Best chuck another fiver at labour about it, they are cheeky bastards tho

"Can you donate just 3 quid"

Click

"How about a fiver"

Click

"Actually the average is 13 quid c'mon son"

PAY MORE THAN THE AVERAGE OF �13 TO ALSO UNLOCK TIER 3 SOCIALISM BENEFITS

# ? Dec 10, 2019 10:25

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