UKMT General Elexmas 2019 - casually eating surstromming

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Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

And I'm still hoping Labour have got hold of that Russia report to leak before Thursday.

i'm not sure what good it would do, his supporters certainly wouldnt care
the only thing theyd care about is the brexit report showing hes not gonna get brexit done like he says he is but the media just said "yeah we know but we're not reporting on it anyway"

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:26

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# ? May 23, 2024 15:14

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Oof, watched the interview with David Merritt. Watching him tear up as he recounted calling his other son out of the pub where he'd been having a pint with his mates, to tell him his brother had died... like someone punched me in the gut.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:26

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Also good response from Mr Merritt when said that detractors have accused him of politicising his own son's death, and he looks politely angry and says that Jack cannot speak for himself anymore, and once people were twisting his death to suit the opposite of what Jack would have wanted in life made him feel compelled to speak up as someone who knew him well.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:27

fuf: Sep 12, 2004; haha

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Just send him some links.

dude this is perfect, thank you

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Can he be converted? If not don't even bother

No but it's fun to be able to respond, and there are other people in the office who are much more on the fence.

It's a weird paradox of my working life that I spend my day getting incredibly angry and frustrated reading about politics online while simultaneously having relatively good-natured conversations with tory coworkers.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:27

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

fuf posted:

dude this is perfect, thank you

No but it's fun to be able to respond, and there are other people in the office who are much more on the fence.

It's a weird paradox of my working life that I spend my day getting incredibly angry and frustrated reading about politics online while simultaneously having relatively good-natured conversations with tory coworkers.

Back in the olden days of 1983, I was canvassing for Labour. One of my colleagues was canvassing for the Tories in the same area. We did have some good natured chats comparing notes on the responses from the different estates (esp. the people who had claimed to be voting for both parties - presumably to 'be polite' and get rid of us quickly) and as it was pissing down with rain most of the time, general canvassing activity chat.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:32

Olpainless: Jun 30, 2003; ... Insert something brilliantly witty here.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

https://twitter.com/NUFC_OurClub/status/1204382004986470401

Funny how these things turn out once people go down the rabbit hole, eh?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:34

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Wow that sure is an exclusive you've got there, what a scoop

Okay I suck at this but you get the idea.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:35

Angepain: Jul 13, 2012; what keeps happening to my clothes

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Assuming this isn't a windup question, it was addressed numerous times. Check back to last night's posts.

If you're unsure, take a closer look at how I begin my sentences

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:46

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

fuf posted:

tory coworker has just sent me this without comment presumably thinking it's some kind of gotcha:
https://order-order.com/2019/12/10/ashworth-civil-service-machine-will-move-quickly-safeguard-national-security-corbyn/

trying to think of a good response that makes my views clear while maintaining a semblance of office bonhomie

"Are you sending me this because you want a reply?"

Just leave it at that. If he argues at all, go off, send him the stuff from Jaeluni's post. He started it.

gently caress bonhomie. There is no truce with the ~~furies~~ Tories.

Braggart posted:

Okay I suck at this but you get the idea.

Corbn turns back to him, nationalising finger unfurling majestically.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:49

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

https://twitter.com/peterwalker99/status/1204397300740698113

https://twitter.com/jonlis1/status/1204375798666407936

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:49

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Angepain posted:

If you're unsure, take a closer look at how I begin my sentences

With letters. Who else uses letters? Russian disinformation campaigns, that's who. I'm sure lots of independent journalists with links to the Atlantic Council are going to be all over you real soon.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:51

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Dammit my ukip mum who i managed to convince to vote labour is not voting labour any more

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:52

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Dammit my ukip mum who i managed to convince to vote labour is not voting labour any more

What changed her mind... again?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:54

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

I think I'd better call my mam & dad later and check they haven't melted.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:55

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Tesseraction posted:

What changed her mind... again?

She "came to her senses" :jerkbag:

I'm gonna interrogate further

Microplastics fucked around with this message at 15:59 on Dec 10, 2019

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:56

Ash Crimson: Apr 4, 2010

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Dammit my ukip mum who i managed to convince to vote labour is not voting labour any more

The mind of a gammon is fickle indeed

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:57

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Ash Crimson posted:

The mind of a gammon is fickle indeed

No humanity in her eyes.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:59

Ash Crimson: Apr 4, 2010

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

No humanity in her eyes.

None at all?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:01

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Please remember to check on elderly relatives and neighbours this christmas. Many of them are lonely and vulnerable to the BBC and Tory canvassers, and could end up having conservative opinions. Ten minutes of your day going round, having a cup of tea and a chat, and detuning the BBC from their telly can mean the world to older people as the nights get darker.

Bobby Deluxe fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Dec 10, 2019

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:03

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

So how about them :swinson:

, then?

I've not heard much lately about their campaign.

_{yes I'm just looking for an excuse to post the new CSPAM emoticon}

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:04

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Conversation summary:

"But antisemitism"

"It's all bollocks, *links to rebuttal*"

"I'm only telling you what a friend told me, anyway i want brexit"

She's a no-dealer too so not much chance of me winning her over on labours position.

Oh well.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:05

Sanford: Jun 30, 2007; ...and rarely post!

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Conversation summary:

"But antisemitism"

"It's all bollocks, *links to rebuttal*"

"I'm only telling you what a friend told me, anyway i want brexit"

She's a no-dealer too so not much chance of me winning her over on labours position.

Oh well.

Time to sever

_{her head from her body.}

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:06

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Conversation summary:

"But antisemitism"

"It's all bollocks, *links to rebuttal*"

"I'm only telling you what a friend told me, anyway i want brexit"

She's a no-dealer too so not much chance of me winning her over on labours position.

Oh well.

Is she in a seat where BXP are running?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:08

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

So there have been talking points about Corbyn and MI5 this election (and last election). Corbyn wants to shut down MI5. Well, does he?

The Mirror posted:

Boris Johnson falsely claims Jeremy Corbyn will scrap MI5 in live TV interview

Boris Johnson today falsely claimed Jeremy Corbyn wants to "scrap MI5" as he told a series of either lies or half-truths in a heated interview with the BBC's Andrew Marr.

The Tory leader clashed with Labour after he said in the wake of the London Bridge terror attack: " Jeremy Corbyn wants to scrap MI5 .

"MI5 is responsible for keeping us safe, MI5 monitors thousands of people such as Usman Khan." He added: "Jeremy Corbyn has said he would disband MI5."

Yet Labour's 2019 election manifesto vows the opposite, saying: "We will ensure closer counter terrorism co-ordination between the police and the security services.

"We will ensure the powers exercised by the security services are proportionate and used in accordance with human rights."

That article points out a number of other lies from Johnson.

There are claims about John McDonnell too:

The Guardian posted:

John McDonnell denies backing call to end MI5 and disarm police

Shadow chancellor caught in controversy after his name appears on list of supporters published by socialist campaigners

John McDonnell is at the centre of a row about whether he endorsed a statement before the election advocating doing away with MI5, special police forces and armed officers.

The controversy broke out after it emerged the shadow chancellor�s name was on a long list, apparently of people who had signed a statement by the Socialist Campaign for a Labour Victory (SCLV).

The final paragraph of the 12-point document states: �Disband MI5 and special police squads, disarm the police.�

The shadow chancellor�s office said on Thursday he believed no such thing and denied he had ever signed the statement, which was prepared before May 2015.

�The letter has never been put in front of John and he�s never signed it,� a spokesman said, pointing out that he had supported extra funding for the security services in the wake of the Paris terror attacks.

Sources close to McDonnell suggested his name might have been included in the list because of a cut and paste error. �These things are normally websites managed by one person and it�s their little hobby horse and it�s not very credible � It�s probably people getting a little bit carried away and just whacking something up.�

However, the Sun then produced a picture of McDonnell holding what appears to be the document, based on a comparison with the campaign material on the SCLV website.

...

Afterwards, a spokesman for McDonnell said he had thought he was posing with a copy of the SCLV�s general principles, which are a much more general statement of anti-austerity aims.

�John posed in good faith to stand with a copy of what he thought were the principles he signed up to and not the demands which he had never seen before yesterday,� he said.

�To reiterate John does not share these views. Only this week he has called for additional funding for the security services to support them in their vital work in defending our country.�

The SCLV also said McDonnell had spoken to one of their meetings in January about the importance of socialists supporting the Labour party, but he was not present for the discussion of the draft demands and had no involvement in drafting them.

The SCLV said McDonnell�s signature was �attached to the general statement of principles, which he signed up to, and not to the list of specific demands, which he did not sign up to�.

There are also claims that Diane Abbott wants to shut down MI5. Does she? Well, she did in the 80s, but recanted those views in 2017:

The Guardian posted:

Abbott was also questioned over why she had signed an early day motion in 1989 calling for the abolition of �conspiratorial groups� such as MI5 and Special Branch. Abbott said the organisation has since been reformed.

�At that time, MI5 needed reforming. It has since been reformed and of course I would not call for its abolition now,� she said.

Of course, this continues to be ignored by the shitrags so they can continue to attack her about anything and everything.

So the answer is actually no, and the fash rags are lying as usual.

On the other hand, MI5 seems to want to shut down Corbyn:

The Telegraph posted:

Jeremy Corbyn would be a problem for security, says historian to MI5

[Professor Christopher Andrew, the official historian of MI5, said] �I simply think that however unfortunate it is, the constitution has it that if the prime minister wishes to be informed, the prime minister is informed. One question is how far Corbyn would wish to be informed. It doesn�t seem a subject that engages his attention. There are some people in the shadow cabinet who have called for the closing-down of MI5.�

But would the Americans share sensitive intelligence under a Corbyn administration? �I can�t imagine the special relationship being the same. But it would be part of a broader problem. Does he believe in Nato? So it�s the whole of Western defence, and not just the intelligence angle of it, that would be the problem. Nothing I have heard him say gives me any confidence � whether about his understanding of the Cold War, or of Venezuela. It is a deeply eccentric view of international relations.�

Wah wah wah he might not listen to us :qq:

Also his understanding of geopolitics is insufficiently right wing.

The Times posted:

MI5 head Andrew Parker summons Jeremy Corbyn for �facts of life� talk on terror

Jeremy Corbyn has been summoned for a personal briefing by the head of MI5 on the terrorist threat to Britain amid questions about his approach to national security.

Andrew Parker, the director-general of the Security Service, is expected to give the Labour leader a �full briefing� on the threat from Islamists in Britain and Isis jihadists returning from the Middle East to plot atrocities on home soil.

The MI5 boss also wants to prime Corbyn on the extent of hostile Russian espionage activity and the growing threat from far-right extremists.

Jeremy Corbyn is a dangerously naive extremist.

The Daily Heil posted:

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: MI5 is conspiring against Jeremy Corbyn? I certainly hope so

One of Jeremy Corbyn's closest advisers claims there is a 'deep state' conspiracy to prevent the Labour leader becoming Prime Minister.

What's more, Andrew Murray believes he himself is being targeted as part of a wider plot to discredit Corbyn.

...

Which branch of the Funny People he suspects of being behind all this � MI5 or MI6 � isn't specified. But just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Andrew Drummond-Murray, to give him his full name, is precisely the kind of individual the intelligence services should be keeping tabs on.

Often described as a 'former Communist', he didn't join Labour until 2016. He's another one of those curious, privileged, privately educated, posh Lefties who surround Corbyn. Dad was a stockbroker and banker, and mum was the daughter of a Tory MP.

Murray himself has been involved in hardline Left-wing politics his entire adult life and is widely considered to be an apologist for Stalin. He's viscerally anti-Israel, pro-Palestinian and a supporter of North Korea.

Currently, as well as advising Corbyn, he also serves as chief-of-staff to Labour's paymaster 'Red Len' McCluskey at the Unite trade union.

He has worked for the Communist Morning Star newspaper � the Corbynistas' news outlet of choice � and during the Eighties was employed by the Soviet Novosti news agency.

...

Murray is joined at the hip to Corbyn's communications chief Seumas Milne, the privately educated son of a former BBC director-general, and another notable Soviet sympathiser. Like so many other committed socialists, Milne sent his children to selective grammar schools.

...

That both have found a comfortable berth in Corbyn's inner circle is yet more confirmation of just how far Labour's centre of gravity has shifted to the extreme Left.

...

The idea of Corbyn becoming PM is terrifying. So is the prospect of hardliners like Murray and Milne occupying sensitive positions in 10 Downing Street.

Murray might claim the intelligence services are plotting to prevent that happening, but given the way the Tories are tearing themselves apart over Mother Theresa's botched handling of Brexit, who would bet against Corbyn coming to power?

It would be the most Left-wing government in British history, with the potential to cause untold damage at home and abroad.

If the Funny People are getting jittery, be honest � can you blame them?

No link because gently caress the Heil.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:09

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

Bobby Deluxe posted:

Please remember to check on elderly relatives and neighbours this christmas. Many of them are lonely and vulnerable to the BBC and Tory canvassers, and could end up having conservative opinions. Ten minutes of your day going round, having a cup of TV and a chat, and detuning the BBC from their telly can mean the world to older people as the nights get darker.

When my nan was still alive she loved to watch all those shite Benefit Street style programs but on the other hand she loathed the Tory so it'd swings and roundabouts with old people.

Although she remembered the war unlike most old people today, so she was old enough to know exactly who and what the tories are

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:09

FiftySeven: Jan 1, 2006; I WON THE BETTING POOL ON TESSAS THIRD STUPID VOTE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS HALF-ASSED TITLE; Slippery Tilde

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Conversation summary:

"But antisemitism"

"It's all bollocks, *links to rebuttal*"

"I'm only telling you what a friend told me, anyway i want brexit"

She's a no-dealer too so not much chance of me winning her over on labours position.

Oh well.

*sigh* This is the stuff that depresses me. The absolute lack of reason and critical thinking. The sort of people who would look at that BBC article about lying in campaign adverts and will still shrug their shoulders and dismiss it because the truth is less important that their feelings. The past 3 years have done nothing but hammer home how disgustingly stupid and blinkered a huge portion of the country is. Its not like it wasn't obvious before, but the sheer relentlessness of it all is truely staggering.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:11

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

FiftySeven posted:

*sigh* This is the stuff that depresses me. The absolute lack of reason and critical thinking. The sort of people who would look at that BBC article about lying in campaign adverts and will still shrug their shoulders and dismiss it because the truth is less important that their feelings. The past 3 years have done nothing but hammer home how disgustingly stupid and blinkered a huge portion of the country is. Its not like it wasn't obvious before, but the sheer relentlessness of it all is truely staggering.

Yeah it's pretty grim

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:11

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh https://twitter.com/GuardianHeather/status/1204412793744551941

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:12

RockyB: Mar 8, 2007; Dog Therapy: Shockingly Good

Strong lying in front of a bulldozer energy

https://twitter.com/GuardianHeather/status/1204412793744551941

A high point of his campaign, for sure

E: Curse you other Guardian live blog RSS feed :argh:

https://twitter.com/AphexGwyn/status/1204418120808464386

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:12

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Tesseraction posted:

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh https://twitter.com/GuardianHeather/status/1204412793744551941

Getting brexit done will make a complete mess, AGC

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:14

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

Tesseraction posted:

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh https://twitter.com/GuardianHeather/status/1204412793744551941

It's a pretty apt metaphor for his idea of getting Brexit done.

:v:

So what happens next, Bozza?

:smug:

hosed if I know. Get to work cleaning up, peasant.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:16

Ash Crimson: Apr 4, 2010

FiftySeven posted:

*sigh* This is the stuff that depresses me. The absolute lack of reason and critical thinking. The sort of people who would look at that BBC article about lying in campaign adverts and will still shrug their shoulders and dismiss it because the truth is less important that their feelings. The past 3 years have done nothing but hammer home how disgustingly stupid and blinkered a huge portion of the country is. Its not like it wasn't obvious before, but the sheer relentlessness of it all is truely staggering.

They aren't really people, they are shells

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:16

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

FiftySeven posted:

*sigh* This is the stuff that depresses me. The absolute lack of reason and critical thinking. The sort of people who would look at that BBC article about lying in campaign adverts and will still shrug their shoulders and dismiss it because the truth is less important that their feelings. The past 3 years have done nothing but hammer home how disgustingly stupid and blinkered a huge portion of the country is. Its not like it wasn't obvious before, but the sheer relentlessness of it all is truely staggering.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:18

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

FiftySeven posted:

*sigh* This is the stuff that depresses me. The absolute lack of reason and critical thinking.

Then you'll love this

"What about the WASPI compensation that you'll benefit from"

"No, I have given that some thought and decided it would be purely selfish to vote just because of that, because who is going to end up paying for it: future generations and that would not be fair to them as they won't even get a state pension, so I will bite the bullet like all the other ladies and just keep going with what I have after all I am not homeless, starving or any of the other horrible things that are happening to some people"

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:20

Coohoolin: Aug 5, 2012; Oor Coohoolie.

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Then you'll love this

"What about the WASPI compensation that you'll benefit from"

"No, I have given that some thought and decided it would be purely selfish to vote just because of that, because who is going to end up paying for it: future generations and that would not be fair to them as they won't even get a state pension, so I will bite the bullet like all the other ladies and just keep going with what I have after all I am not homeless, starving or any of the other horrible things that are happening to some people"

god drat that just killed me, i am dead

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:23

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Then you'll love this

"What about the WASPI compensation that you'll benefit from"

"No, I have given that some thought and decided it would be purely selfish to vote just because of that, because who is going to end up paying for it: future generations and that would not be fair to them as they won't even get a state pension, so I will bite the bullet like all the other ladies and just keep going with what I have after all I am not homeless, starving or any of the other horrible things that are happening to some people"

Without stopping to ask WHY they're happening. :smh:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:25

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

MOTHER I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THIS CHART ABOUT MONEY AND THE NHS IN THE EVENT OF NO DEAL BREXIT FOR THE CHRIST OF LIFE'S SAKE

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:25

FiftySeven: Jan 1, 2006; I WON THE BETTING POOL ON TESSAS THIRD STUPID VOTE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS HALF-ASSED TITLE; Slippery Tilde

Tesseraction posted:

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh https://twitter.com/GuardianHeather/status/1204412793744551941

This reply on twitter sums it up nicely...
"This is the equivalent of dangling a set of keys in front of a baby"

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Then you'll love this

"What about the WASPI compensation that you'll benefit from"

"No, I have given that some thought and decided it would be purely selfish to vote just because of that, because who is going to end up paying for it: future generations and that would not be fair to them as they won't even get a state pension, so I will bite the bullet like all the other ladies and just keep going with what I have after all I am not homeless, starving or any of the other horrible things that are happening to some people"

loving hell, I think I would have an aneurysm if I was trying to discuss politics and I had that said to me.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:25

Nothingtoseehere: Nov 11, 2010

Just had a interview for the met office, which seemed fitting given the pouring weather. Hopefully I can avoid being an unemployed graduate in whatever future Britain we get.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:25

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# ? May 23, 2024 15:14

Doccykins: Feb 21, 2006

Tesseraction posted:

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh https://twitter.com/GuardianHeather/status/1204412793744551941

lmao it's like he doesn't even want to be elected

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:26

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elexmas 2019 - casually eating surstromming

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