UKMT General Elexmas 2019 - casually eating surstromming

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TACD: Oct 27, 2000

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

I am not homeless, starving or any of the other horrible things that are happening to some people

The Tories are certainly the better party to get this arranged for you.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:28

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# ? May 26, 2024 23:44

Chuff McNothing: Sep 9, 2019; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Then you'll love this

"What about the WASPI compensation that you'll benefit from"

"No, I have given that some thought and decided it would be purely selfish to vote just because of that, because who is going to end up paying for it: future generations and that would not be fair to them as they won't even get a state pension, so I will bite the bullet like all the other ladies and just keep going with what I have after all I am not homeless, starving or any of the other horrible things that are happening to some people"

sell her home for nothing. tell her on friday. i hate your mother

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:28

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

Forecast seems to be for pissing rain in a lot of places on Thursday, who does that help? Probably the Tories sadly. Though I guess more of their voters are at risk of catching severe pneumonia.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:28

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

Nothingtoseehere posted:

Just had a interview for the met office, which seemed fitting given the pouring weather. Hopefully I can avoid being an unemployed graduate in whatever future Britain we get.

In exeter?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:29

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Tesseraction posted:

MOTHER I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THIS CHART ABOUT MONEY AND THE NHS IN THE EVENT OF NO DEAL BREXIT FOR THE CHRIST OF LIFE'S SAKE

how did your children feel when u brexited

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:30

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Just show brexiteers Johnson knocking that wall down, give them all blue passports and tell them brexit is done.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:31

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

Braggart posted:

Bozza

this confused me initially as Bozza used to be a guy who posted here about trains a lot

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:31

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

^^^^ I miss bozza

Tesseraction posted:

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh https://twitter.com/GuardianHeather/status/1204412793744551941

Hell world is so offensively stupid

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:31

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pYavTWs_q8

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:31

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Failed Imagineer posted:

how did your children feel when u brexited

no idea I ate them

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:32

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Chuff McNothing posted:

sell her home for nothing. tell her on friday. i hate your mother

They rent. Oh, and they're on zero hour contracts in retirement lol

They're not poor though. Firmly middle class in many respects, dad has a decent pension (retired cop lmao) and at the moment they still own a wood

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:32

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Tesseraction posted:

no idea I ate them

Can't accuse you of not getting into the Brexit spirit :killing:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:33

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

peanut- posted:

Forecast seems to be for pissing rain in a lot of places on Thursday, who does that help? Probably the Tories sadly. Though I guess more of their voters are at risk of catching severe pneumonia.

Imagine all the olds turning out to vote Tory and then filling into hospitals to die of pneumonia

Their last act on this earth, saddling us all with 5 more years of Tories and finishing off the NHS

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:34

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Rachel Shabi owned today btw https://twitter.com/danoliver/status/1204419898710978561

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:35

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Loving your prospective new horny PM

https://twitter.com/jeremycorbyn/status/1204416901419397120?s=19

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:35

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Not politics:

Given the wide range of experience ITT, anyone with experience of placing contracts for equipment? I do have some 'works contract' experience but it's from a long time ago now.

We need new laundry equipment where I live now. We have 2 commercial washers and 2 commercial dryers. We got a quote from a longstanding company for �14500 to replace all and rework all the ductwork etc.
The company want PAYMENT IN FULL before ordering the equipment. (We have the money in our 'sinking fund', it's not a problem and our residents' association treasurer actually went to pay it today before realizing there was no sort or account code on the letter).

I can understand them wanting a deposit (25-30%) but payment in full? To me this is ringing alarm bells of a company in trouble and I fear that we would hand over the dosh, the company would use it to pay some existing sub-contractors/suppliers and then disappear into the night. Most of the people living here are 70/80+ years old and don't have things like internets.

Anyone got any thoughts?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:39

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

Failed Imagineer posted:

Loving your prospective new horny PM

https://twitter.com/jeremycorbyn/status/1204416901419397120?s=19

Corbyn embracing shitposting has been the highlight of this election

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:41

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Get more quotes from other suppliers

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:41

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Get more quotes from other suppliers

Yes, I've said we must do that. It's the full payment upfront that worries me.
Anyway, treasurer has promised to hold off for now.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:42

Puntification: Nov 4, 2009; Black Orthodontromancy
The most British Magic; Fun Shoe

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Conversation summary:

"But antisemitism"

"It's all bollocks, *links to rebuttal*"

"I'm only telling you what a friend told me, anyway i want brexit"

She's a no-dealer too so not much chance of me winning her over on labours position.

Oh well.

I don't want to suggest another poster kill their own mother but I will anyway, it's time to smother her with a pillow.

Failed Imagineer posted:

Loving your prospective new horny PM

https://twitter.com/jeremycorbyn/status/1204416901419397120?s=19

In this instance horny is permitted.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:43

RockyB: Mar 8, 2007; Dog Therapy: Shockingly Good

Well it's better than the current horny (for tech lessons) PM.

Excellent sarky bulldozer dragging on the Graun

quote:

But the problem with metaphors is that they can be open to multiple interpretations. To many viewers, this may not convey quite the impression Johnson intended.

1) Brexit, it�s a destructive force. It does not make anything; it just knocks things down.

2) With Brexit, nothing is quite what it seems. These looked like proper bricks. But they were made of polystyrene.

3) After Johnson got through the Brexit �gridlock�, he did not know where to go next and ground to a halt.

4) �Get Brexit done�. Johnson did once promise to lie in front of a bulldozer. Now, if you take the view that leaving the EU in January won�t amount be Brexit being done, now the lie is on the front of the bulldozer.

Of course unfortunately this is followed up by regurgitating Javid's turgid word salad. :byodood:

Economic Crisis By Christmas :byodood:

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:45

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Not politics:

Given the wide range of experience ITT, anyone with experience of placing contracts for equipment? I do have some 'works contract' experience but it's from a long time ago now.

We need new laundry equipment where I live now. We have 2 commercial washers and 2 commercial dryers. We got a quote from a longstanding company for �14500 to replace all and rework all the ductwork etc.
The company want PAYMENT IN FULL before ordering the equipment. (We have the money in our 'sinking fund', it's not a problem and our residents' association treasurer actually went to pay it today before realizing there was no sort or account code on the letter).

I can understand them wanting a deposit (25-30%) but payment in full? To me this is ringing alarm bells of a company in trouble and I fear that we would hand over the dosh, the company would use it to pay some existing sub-contractors/suppliers and then disappear into the night. Most of the people living here are 70/80+ years old and don't have things like internets.

Anyone got any thoughts?

For work like that they should be giving you a firm quote pro forma, do the work, and then give you an invoice with 30 days to pay upon completion. Maybe 14 if they're a small outfit.

Cash up front seems suspect for >�10k installation work unless they have reason to think you can't pay.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:45

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Yes, I've said we must do that. It's the full payment upfront that worries me.
Anyway, treasurer has promised to hold off for now.

Yeah, I'd be bricking it if they had the money before the work. What incentive do they have to do an even slightly reasonable job? Tbh I'd contact them first, say their payment terms are unacceptably high risk, and ask if they can make alternative arrangements before you seek other suppliers

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:48

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

So yesterday the Independent published an article about how Bozza's delightful book 72 Virgins depicts Jewish people as controlling the media. Pull quote:

quote:

"Maybe there was some kind of fiddling of the figures by the oligarchs who ran the TV stations (and who were mainly, as some lost no time in pointing out, of Jewish origin)"

Anti-antisemite Boris Johnson

Full article:

quote:

Boris Johnson book depicts Jews as controlling the media

Boris Johnson depicted Jews as controlling the media and being able to �fiddle� elections in a little-known 2004 novel written while he was a Tory MP, it has emerged.

The Conservative leader was branded �unfit to be prime minister� over passages from Seventy Two Virgins, which also includes numerous other questionable portrayals of ethnic minorities.

While telling the story of a fictional terror attack on Westminster Mr Johnson deploys descriptions of Kosovan Muslims as having �hook noses� and describes a mixed-race character as �half-caste�.

The now prime minister also repeatedly uses racial slurs in authorial voice, introducing a group of characters as �pikeys�, an ethnic slur for travellers, and another as a �Chinaman�.

The context of the passage regarding Jews is a part of the story in which all the countries of the world are made to vote country-by-country on whether the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay should be released.

Describing the situation, Mr Johnson wrote: �And the news from the voting was still bad for America, though not as bad as it had seemed at first. Some countries, such as Saudi Arabia were reporting almost 100 per cent insistence that the prisoners be sent home. But there were odd pockets of support for the President. He might have thought that Russia, after her humiliation in the Cold War, would take the chance to put her boot on the neck of the old adversary. But no, the Russians had their problems with Islamic terror. Maybe there was some kind of fiddling of the figures by the oligarchs who ran the TV stations (and who were mainly, as some lost no time in pointing out, of Jewish origin), but it seemed that Russia, one of the most populous countries in the world, was voting heavily for America."

The passage is just one of dozens of racially-charged and questionable parts of the novel. In a separate part introducing one of the terrorists, named Jones, Mr Johnson also appears to suggest that having �brown skin� is not compatible with being Welsh.

Mr Johnson wrote: ��Quickly,� said the one called Jones, coming back from the toilets. �The traffic wardens will be here.� There was certainly something lilting and eastern about his accent; but if you shut your eyes and ignored his brown skin, there were tonic effects � birdlike variations in pitch � that were positively Welsh.� Notably, Jones�s ethnicity is referred to as an �Arab-type thing� by another character, a vague description that is largely unclarified by the end of the novel.

In 2016 Boris Johnson suggested that �part-Kenyan� US president Barack Obama had an �ancestral dislike� of Britain because of his ethnicity. His novel also makes repeated use of this line of thinking when discussing its ethnic minority characters.

Near the beginning of the book Mr Johnson uses an extended metaphor to depict a traffic warden working in Westminster as a �hunter-gatherer� because he is an African immigrant.

�He went down Horseferry Road, past the obelisks with their odd pineapple finials, past the bearded stone Victorians who had conquered the continent from which he came, and he, the colonial, became to hunt in the former imperial metropolis,� Mr Johnson also wrote of the character.

This theme continues in other parts of the novel. One of the main characters in the book is Roger Barlow, a bicycle-riding tussle-haired Tory MP who saves the day and who reviewers have interpreted as being a transparent cipher for Mr Johnson himself. In one bizarre racialised description of a phone call between the fictional MP and a journalist �with an Asian name�, Mr Johnson wrote:

�The reporter was a woman with an Asian name, and from the minute she introduced herself, Barlow feared her. He feared her as British soldiers on the Northwest Frontier once feared the Afghan daughters, and their knives, and their traditional knowledge of how to cut a live human being.�

Continuing, and apparently trying to approximate a stereotyped South Asian accent in eye dialect, Mr Johnson wrote: ��I�m reely sorry,� she said, after his initial evasions, �but I reely do feel you are going to be better off talking to me�.

In a separate section describing one mixed-race character�s thoughts about himself, Mr Johnson wrote: �The interesting thing about his half-caste looks, he decided, was that he didn�t look Negroid.� On another occasion Mr Johnson describes the same character as �the faintest coffee colour�.

One of the heroes of Mr Johnson�s book is a former Serbian paramilitary who Johnson introduces as having been a member of �Arkan's Tigers�, a real-life group whose commander was indicted for crimes against humanity and ethnic cleansing against Muslims. The character is one of the first in the book to realise the terror attack is taking place because of his instinctive distrust of Muslims, who he describes as �sneaky bastards�.

In a scene with the character, Mr Johnson wrote: �As soon as he had gasped �Where is the police?� he saw their burning eyes, hook noses and hairy black eyebrows that joined in the middle. He knew who they were. They were Skiptars. They were Muslims, almost certainly from Pristina. And they knew who he was. He was a Serb.�

One recurring theme of the novel is that the terrorists carrying out the attack repeatedly get away with their attack because of political correctness and a refusal to racially profile them.

In one instance the French ambassador�s partner, described as a �Palestinian Arab� is nearly banned from the event where the terror attack takes place because of racial-profiling, but is ultimately allowed to attend after someone stands up for her � she later turns out to be a terrorist after all.

In another episode, an MP lets a group of terrorists through a locked door because he does not want to be seen as racist. On another occasion, a military sniper hesitates and misses his chance to shoot the terrorists because he is momentarily worried he might be racist.

"If these extracts from this novel are as they appear, this adds to the long list of people that Boris Johnson has insulted,� Christine Jardine, the Liberal Democrats� equalities spokesperson, told The Independent.

�The rise of anti-Jewish hatred must be condemned, wherever and whenever, and in all its forms. Boris Johnson has once again demonstrated that he is not fit to be Prime Minister.�

Approached for comment on this story, Downing Street said the issue was for the Conservative party to address. The Conservative party has been contacted for comment but has not issued a response.

As we have already seen, Bozza's book is chock full of grossly offensive stereotypes. If Terry Pratchett mastered jokes-per-page, Bozza has mastered racisms-per-paragraph. To rehash my own blitherings, he is a golem powered by an ancient book of racist jokes. I wonder what he might do with Feet of Clay.

Pictured: Bozza leaving the debate with Jeremy Corbyn, ready to take his fury out on some minorities

So yeah, have fun with some solid evidence that Bozza holds antisemitic views. Frankly I expected something like this to happen. He's been racist to everyone else in the world, so how could he avoid being antisemitic?

Bonus: Here's me sort-of predicting this in the November thread when a Conservative candidate was suspended over antisemitic comments.

Some jackoff posted:

Boris, quick question, what do you think of the suspension of Amjad Bashir?

Boris, is there an antisemitism problem in the Conservative Party?

Boris, we dug up an old Spectator article where you referred to Jews as...

Oh goodness! We don't need to hear about that now, do we? Why don't you put that away? I'm not one to toot my own horn...

Er, that wasn't a big nose joke!

*Runs away, trips over own poo poo-filled pants*

Braggart fucked around with this message at 17:28 on Dec 10, 2019

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:48

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Not politics:

Given the wide range of experience ITT, anyone with experience of placing contracts for equipment? I do have some 'works contract' experience but it's from a long time ago now.

We need new laundry equipment where I live now. We have 2 commercial washers and 2 commercial dryers. We got a quote from a longstanding company for �14500 to replace all and rework all the ductwork etc.
The company want PAYMENT IN FULL before ordering the equipment. (We have the money in our 'sinking fund', it's not a problem and our residents' association treasurer actually went to pay it today before realizing there was no sort or account code on the letter).

I can understand them wanting a deposit (25-30%) but payment in full? To me this is ringing alarm bells of a company in trouble and I fear that we would hand over the dosh, the company would use it to pay some existing sub-contractors/suppliers and then disappear into the night. Most of the people living here are 70/80+ years old and don't have things like internets.

Anyone got any thoughts?

Maybe things are different in the laundry equipment business than in the internet tubes business, but any supplier trying that in my industry is *at best* an airdropping chancer. Even companies that have to custom-build extremely esoteric bits of kit for us do 30-90 day terms.

Now possibly they might have that as their policy for first purchases - that's not unheard of for small-scale deals where it's not really economically feasible for them to run proper checks to make sure you're not just delivering it straight into the back of a van never to be seen again - but I'd definitely shop around a bit more to find out if that's the standard in that industry and for that size of deal.

e: On rereading I realise you're talking about installation, not purchase of the kit. Yeah, run away quick.

goddamnedtwisto fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Dec 10, 2019

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:48

Nothingtoseehere: Nov 11, 2010

Nothingtoseehere fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Dec 10, 2019

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:51

Jel Shaker: Apr 19, 2003

I�m starting to think this antisemitism business isn�t on the up and up?!

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:51

Nothingtoseehere: Nov 11, 2010

Barry Foster posted:

In exeter?

Yea, will hopefully join the goon horde down there.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:52

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

Bobby Deluxe posted:

Corbn turns back to him, nationalising finger unfurling majestically.

Will you nationalise sausages, Jeremy?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:53

sinky: Feb 22, 2011; Slippery Tilde

Braggart posted:

Will you nationalise sausages, Jeremy?

Do you seriously think I would explain my master stroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome? I nationalised them 35 minutes ago.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:55

Ora Tzo: Feb 26, 2016; HEEEERES TONYYYY

Braggart posted:

Will you nationalise sausages, Jeremy?

The wurst future.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:56

Trickjaw: Jun 23, 2005; Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Then you'll love this

"What about the WASPI compensation that you'll benefit from"

"No, I have given that some thought and decided it would be purely selfish to vote just because of that, because who is going to end up paying for it: future generations and that would not be fair to them as they won't even get a state pension, so I will bite the bullet like all the other ladies and just keep going with what I have after all I am not homeless, starving or any of the other horrible things that are happening to some people"

I dont wish to be rude, but has your mother recently suffered some serious head trauma? At least my parents are cunts because of sheer, naked, unbridled spite.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:56

Judge Tesla: Oct 29, 2011

My Grandma hates Boris but she's voting Tory because she read in the Daily Mail that Mcdonnell is going to take her pension away, there's no convincing her otherwise as she refuses to read up on policy just anything the Heil spits out.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:59

Braggart: Nov 10, 2011; always thank the rock hider

Coohoolin posted:

god drat that just killed me, i am dead

Excellent, you won't need a pension.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:59

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

Nothingtoseehere posted:

Yea, will hopefully join the goon horde down there.

Noice keep us updated.

Also, last call for brizzles for canvassing. I've skipped my bus so I'm committed now

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:03

seizure later: Apr 18, 2007

lol if you don't cut Tory voting family members out of your life immediately and without mercy

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:03

Pound_Coin: Feb 5, 2004; �

Ora Tzo posted:

The wurst future.

https://twitter.com/joshbythesea/status/1204357291266527236

THE FUTURE IS NOW

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:03

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Trickjaw posted:

I dont wish to be rude, but has your mother recently suffered some serious head trauma? At least my parents are cunts because of sheer, naked, unbridled spite.

Sometimes i think she's not the sharpest bulb in the drawer

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:04

Trickjaw: Jun 23, 2005; Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Not politics:

Given the wide range of experience ITT, anyone with experience of placing contracts for equipment? I do have some 'works contract' experience but it's from a long time ago now.

We need new laundry equipment where I live now. We have 2 commercial washers and 2 commercial dryers. We got a quote from a longstanding company for �14500 to replace all and rework all the ductwork etc.
The company want PAYMENT IN FULL before ordering the equipment. (We have the money in our 'sinking fund', it's not a problem and our residents' association treasurer actually went to pay it today before realizing there was no sort or account code on the letter).

I can understand them wanting a deposit (25-30%) but payment in full? To me this is ringing alarm bells of a company in trouble and I fear that we would hand over the dosh, the company would use it to pay some existing sub-contractors/suppliers and then disappear into the night. Most of the people living here are 70/80+ years old and don't have things like internets.

Anyone got any thoughts?

If its Pimlico plumbers, tell them to get the gently caress. As with anything, shop around. A sink fund/war chest is like free biscuits to lots of contractors, and they will vary the t&Cs before long and be around with the begging bowl. Can you not buy maytag industrial stuff, and contract a local plumber (pref. A young one) to provide servicing?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:05

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# ? May 26, 2024 23:44

joedevola: Sep 11, 2004; worst song, played on ugliest guitar

I just got interviewed by Newsnight on the street. Due to the wind I think the reporter misheard me, she seemed to think I had a "unionist background".

I'll never be allowed back into West Belfast.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 17:05

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elexmas 2019 - casually eating surstromming

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