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A cult of American expatriot doomsday preppers living in the south Pacific. You see them, montage style, hacking through the jungle undergrowth, shooting snakes with takedown 22s, foraging and starting fires, having awkward encounters with the locals. Always traveling east, the cult makes it to the beach, they fell trees and craft canoes, then they voyage across a violent and churning ocean. Finally they see the shore of an island, lights strung out like incandescent pearls against the blackness of the ocean and the night sky. They dock their craft and navigate the city streets to their destination, the McDonalds in Aipa. They order, thinking a sojourn attained after the hardships of their trial, but when asked for payment there is a slow motion sinking horror as the cashier informs them that they do not accept bitcoin.
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Dec 12, 2019 05:36
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an agency that gives its clients agency
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Dec 12, 2019 16:15
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do you think that you should be able to determine your own destiny, and have control over your own life? at gilbert and sons, we think that too - and if you become our client, we'll let you procrastinate about taking out the trash on garbage day, no judgement at all - it's your choice, and we support that.
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Dec 12, 2019 16:20
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A man ostracized by society for barking at people, but it's just a misunderstanding. He always sings whatever song is stuck in his head and he's been forced to listen to one of those Christmas albums that's just dogs barking Christmas carols. |
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Dec 12, 2019 17:17
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review of sex: Most fun I've ever had with my clothes off!
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Dec 13, 2019 09:42
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Me biting into my donkey steak: "This tastes like rear end!" |
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Dec 13, 2019 10:37
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Putty posted:Brother, unban me from the Minecraft server at once. not until u start respecting the sanctity of yoshi ranch, starting with the rules clearly listed on East North Eastern signs 3a-5a in the spawn room
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Dec 13, 2019 14:30
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I have an idea for how this joke could be improved, with the addition of images, but I am not talented at composing images, so I will try and frame it correctly with text. First sentence: Superman, while flying to see his girlfriend, Lois Lane, is flying around with his X-Ray Vision on (It may not be common knowledge, but superman has X-ray vision, to help explain this line) and he sees, Wonder Woman, on a bed (!), naked (!!) and he thinks to himself "Lex Luthor has probably done this!", and he flies down to investigate, and says "Hello, Wonder Woman! Are you all right? Has Lex Luthor done this to you? I believe he is quite the villain and jackanape." [An inline image of a smiling minion would go here, possibly holding a banana, as it is my understanding that bananas make Minions happy, and that if jokes are being told, everyone should be being happy.] Now I will put in a second sentence here: Wonder Woman, who is naked at this juncture, says "No! I am just loving! The INVISIBLE MAN!" And they both laugh, and Superman flies off to see his girlfriend, Lois Lane. [This would conclude with the crying laughing emoji!] ---------------- |
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Dec 13, 2019 19:39
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I am not sure if The Invisible Man is a real, and canonical, Superhero from Detective Comics Comics, so I apologize in advance if I have upset anyone by including this character if it would be factually wrong, I know that Marvel Comics has the Invisible Woman, but I do not know if the joke would work so effectively with her in here, as it would require a Crossover Event to facilitate it, and The Invisible Woman is married to Mr. Fantastic in the Marvel Comics, and I do not believe she would be promiscuous, thank you.
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Dec 13, 2019 19:41
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A thread titled "Nopw that fyad is shutting down, it will be byob's time to shine" and the first and only post is "uhhhhh, yeah. sure, ok. i, uh... chill... weed?" and then it just gets closed after that. |
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Dec 13, 2019 20:04
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Wonder Woman does have an invisible jet but I am not entirely certain the jet is sentient, fully able to consent, and/or capable of providing or receiving sexual stimulation. |
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Dec 13, 2019 20:30
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Oh, drat. I'll come up with a betterjoke next time, okay?
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Dec 13, 2019 20:40
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alnilam posted:One morning Gregor Samsa awoke to find himself transformed into a giant square
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Dec 13, 2019 20:42
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a standup asking the crowd at a show if "anyone knows x" and narrowing his topic until he is telling the joke to himself
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Dec 13, 2019 20:55
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Clawtopsy posted:I have an idea for how this joke could be improved, with the addition of images, but I am not talented at composing images, so I will try and frame it correctly with text. i like it but im still at like 75% joke/photoshop capacity
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Dec 13, 2019 21:00
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magic cactus posted:a standup asking the crowd at a show if "anyone knows x" and narrowing his topic until he is telling the joke to himself insult comic but he only jokes about himself, due to the bad dna his mother and father gave him so that he grew up to be ugly, stupid, fat, un athletic, and have a general unhealthy palor to his skin and also he can't hold his weed or liquor at all
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Dec 14, 2019 03:50
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alnilam posted:One morning Gregor Samsa awoke to find himself transformed into a giant square gregor samsa, now week nine into the deep bowels of beauracracy, hums along to the music playing in an elevator and misses his floor for the seventh time
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Dec 14, 2019 05:53
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by now you shoulda somehow realized what you had to do i dont believe that any body fedmeproperlypriortomyarrival hibachi, now
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Dec 16, 2019 10:59
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PYF Bad rear end Picture thread, full of pictures of ugly butts
baw |
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Dec 16, 2019 14:14
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Younger me: Yay, new Ghostbusters is coming out rear end in a top hat older brother: WOO!! GHOSTBUSTERS! GONNA gently caress ME SOME GHOSTS! WOO!!!! |
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Dec 16, 2019 23:49
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not watching where you are going and falling into a giant hole in the ground
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Dec 17, 2019 03:33
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Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!
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vampire dog that can only survive by drinking the peepee other dogs mark stuff with
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Dec 17, 2019 04:22
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The MUMPSorceress posted:vampire dog that can only survive by drinking the peepee other dogs mark stuff with Technically this is the canine version of identity theft. |
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Dec 17, 2019 04:25
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the movie Yes Man but instead of Jim Carrey it's Lil Jon
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Dec 17, 2019 04:42
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Glass Bottom Boat posted:the movie Yes Man but instead of Jim Carrey it's Lil Jon the yin yang twins but it's ace ventura and the mask and oh u know they both talking w their butts
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Dec 17, 2019 05:08
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nut posted:the yin yang twins but it's ace ventura and the mask and oh u know they both talking w their butts Hell, same |
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Dec 17, 2019 05:13
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The only things I know about leprechauns are what they look like and where they hide their gold. I know exactly enough to either rob them or keep a look out while someone else does. Why? I am like Jason Borne, trying to remember where I got my special training. |
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Dec 18, 2019 04:33
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Requesting a ban. Receiving a ban. Needing to be mad at someone for getting banned. Only being able to be made at your self.
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Dec 19, 2019 00:27
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Scatomancy help needed - poop in morning look like Nebuchadnezzar II, at night like his father Nabopolassar
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Dec 19, 2019 16:30
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A world where nothing is generalist. Like dicks are either super good at peeing but lousy for sex, or great for sex but unwieldy, inefficient and possibly painful at peeing.
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Dec 20, 2019 02:04
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peeing isnt sex?
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Dec 20, 2019 03:51
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looks like ur old boy nut got his v card back for xmas
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Dec 20, 2019 03:51
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nut posted:looks like ur old boy nut got his v card back for xmas lmbo
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Dec 20, 2019 04:46
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When Megatron and Starscream gently caress, who is the dom?
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Dec 20, 2019 07:16
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| Trader Joe's Bizarre Adventure | |
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Dec 20, 2019 20:47
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Putty posted:Trader Joe's Bizarre Adventure |
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Dec 20, 2019 22:46
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i rip the vampire mask off my face, my skin is clean and exfoliated without the aid of any harsh chemicals!
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Dec 20, 2019 22:55
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whenever i buy something online and they ask where i heard about them, i write "on infowars." the idea is theyll worry theyre being associated with infowars |
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Dec 21, 2019 03:54
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Putty posted:Trader Joe's Bizarre Adventure very large italian section they got here |
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Dec 21, 2019 21:32
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A cow who is perversely proud that her farts are environmentally significant. |
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Dec 22, 2019 01:31
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