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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Syd Midnight posted:

I just flashed back on one of the first SA threads I ever read, which I don't recall anyone mentioning recently: the Dave Matthews Chicago poo poo blitz. Lemme see how well I can remember this.

Some goon was a tour guide on a ferryboat pointing out landmarks along the Chicago river to hundreds of tourists and old people. Well one day The Dave Matthews Band comes to town, and while their tour bus was crossing a bridge the driver decides to dump the busses' septic system through the metal mesh roadway and into into the river. Right as the boat is passing underneath. 800 pounds of poo poo and piss hit the boat like a napalm strike, showering onto a deck packed with gawking tourists.



Right as the news broke a goon posted his own eyewitness account. There was plenty of skepticism at first but he let slip a detail: after calming the screaming, vomiting crowd somewhat he noticed that the ships flag was drenched in sewage, and not wanting the folks to get any more upset he gingerly lowered the poo poo-soaked flag, folded it, and placed it in a plastic bag to be dealt with later.

Apparently some of the old farts saw him doing it and mistook his discomfort for reverence and told the reporters, so the next day the papers mentioned the hero of the day was a patriotic tour guide who'd gone to the rescue of the disgraced Stars and Stripes. It came dangerously close to becoming a :911: email forward.

The DMB denied everything and closed ranks, which turned out to be a stupid move and DM ended up having to apologize to Chicago and the driver went to jail for a while.



That was back when there were thousands and thousands of active forum accounts, and it seemed like any story, news, or event was guaranteed to have at least one goon peripherally involved, posting from the middle of the riot or disaster zone or w/e

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Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
The funniest thing is the poo poo was probably cleaner than the river. I remember back in the 2000's when the Chicago River was upgraded from toxic to merely polluted and our local bar had a Just Polluted party to celebrate. I think we're almost to the point where you can fall into the river and not immediately get pink eye.

We're doing it!

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Ha, it’s that post’s third anniversary.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
A news source like no other

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

The fact that a bus can just dump its tank like that and not have to go to a place for safe waste disposal is :stonk:

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Inceltown posted:

The fact that a bus can just dump its tank like that and not have to go to a place for safe waste disposal is :stonk:

That's why the dude did jailtime, you're not supposed to anymore. Well, in most states wt least, same with say chemical plants or industrial farmers just venting waste into the environment.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
It occurs to me that as an admin I should probably keep up with this thread, so, Hello!

Thank you to angerbeet for reminding me of "egregious stroke". Helldump sucked but this was the best of it.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2547846

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
you've never even seen the back of a grim reaper sign

Gone Fashing
Aug 4, 2004

KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN
the posts by the op are funny but drat the rest of the replies are so bad. i thought I remembered helldump being funnier

Gone Fashing
Aug 4, 2004

KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN
rip scootsmagoo

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It occurs to me that as an admin I should probably keep up with this thread, so, Hello!

Thank you to angerbeet for reminding me of "egregious stroke". Helldump sucked but this was the best of it.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2547846

I enjoy the extensive argument about Clive Cussler novels that happens towards the end of the thread.

Gone Fashing posted:

the posts by the op are funny but drat the rest of the replies are so bad. i thought I remembered helldump being funnier

It was a real "you had to be there" experience because so much of the fun was watching goon trainwrecks get unveiled in real time and wondering what bizarre detail about Djinn Flyssa or whoever would be revealed next.

Vincent Van Goatse has a new favorite as of 19:48 on Dec 22, 2019

I Said No
May 21, 2007

jesus dude ur gonna kill someone with that av
Wasn't Djinn Flyssa called out for just a bunch of off-site fetishes, iirc? I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him these days.

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I enjoy the extensive argument about Clive Cussler novels that happens towards the end of the thread.


It was a real "you had to be there" experience because so much of the fun was watching goon trainwrecks get unveiled in real time and wondering what bizarre detail about Djinn Flyssa or whoever would be revealed next.

they were there, they're saying "wow I remember this being pure comedy, not just a bunch of weirdos cannibalizing themselves, and people constantly digging themselves in deeper instead of just not responding"

Heath
Apr 30, 2008

🍂🎃🏞️💦
I think people forget how mean spirited the early internet was in general. You only remember laughing about it, not the specific thing you were laughing at.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

I Said No posted:

Wasn't Djinn Flyssa called out for just a bunch of off-site fetishes, iirc? I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him these days.

It was weird porn that involved Yoshi egg unbirthing or something equally bizarre and weird even by today's standards.

Coolness Averted posted:

they were there, they're saying "wow I remember this being pure comedy, not just a bunch of weirdos cannibalizing themselves, and people constantly digging themselves in deeper instead of just not responding"

I know that, I'm explaining why it seemed way funnier at the time than it does now.

Heath posted:

I think people forget how mean spirited the early internet was in general. You only remember laughing about it, not the specific thing you were laughing at.

Also this, yeah. It was a way different internet back then. When I first started using it in the mid-90s the height of hilarity was long screeds detailing exactly how Bill Gates was the Antichrist that were judged by how many words were used instead of if anything in it was actually funny.

Vincent Van Goatse has a new favorite as of 20:48 on Dec 22, 2019

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
Poison womb lady was pretty clearly in need of help.

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Is Crumbunist in jail yet?

Queen-Of-Hearts
Mar 17, 2009

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"




goatsestretchgoals posted:

Is Crumbunist in jail yet?

How bout Granos?

rodbeard
Jul 21, 2005

Helldump also ran out of good targets rather quickly. This guy I went to school with got helldumped for having a chubby girlfriend and not using a decent capture card in his Metroid Prime let's play.

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

How bout Granos?

I mean, the police were called.

Dammerung
Oct 17, 2008

"Dang, that's hot."


Vincent Van Goatse posted:

It was weird porn that involved Yoshi egg unbirthing or something equally bizarre and weird even by today's standards.

From what I remember, his biggest work of fiction centered around the creation and usage of a slide covered in razorblades by himself and his lover to a very predictable conclusion. It was weird!

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


rodbeard posted:

Helldump also ran out of good targets rather quickly. This guy I went to school with got helldumped for having a chubby girlfriend and not using a decent capture card in his Metroid Prime let's play.

It was a decade ago when I hung out in the letsplay irc channel, but isn't that the same dude who put homegroan on the hosting of a fellow goon?

It was back when YouTube compressed all video to hell and back so someone had their own hosting and were letting LP folks host uncompressed videos there

freemandela
Apr 18, 2007

Dammerung posted:

From what I remember, his biggest work of fiction centered around the creation and usage of a slide covered in razorblades by himself and his lover to a very predictable conclusion. It was weird!

That was actually fanfiction written by a third party about him and gross poster Tambourine Man, which makes it worse, imo. Don't look it up, and definitely dont read it. If you do, you will regret it, I promise.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

freemandela posted:

That was actually fanfiction written by a third party about him and gross poster Tambourine Man, which makes it worse, imo. Don't look it up, and definitely dont read it. If you do, you will regret it, I promise.

Way to wave a giant red rag at the goons that feed off drama in the saga thread.

Crowetron
Apr 29, 2009

freemandela posted:

That was actually fanfiction written by a third party about him and gross poster Tambourine Man, which makes it worse, imo. Don't look it up, and definitely dont read it. If you do, you will regret it, I promise.

It is kinda nice to have specific reminders of why Helldump had to die.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Helldump pretty rapidly produced people far worse than it targeted, and they went on to Kiwifarms I'm pretty sure.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


The proper solution to Helldump wasn't to close it but to create a new Helldump dedicated to Helldumping Helldump. When this got bad we would open Helldump Helldump Helldump and then so on.

FruitNYogurtParfait
Mar 29, 2006

Sion lied. Deadtear died for our sins. #VengeanceForDeadtear
#PunGateNeverForget
#ModLivesMatter
Helldump was already dedicated to eating itself after about 6 months of existing

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
Eventually the whole forums should be one poster making fun of everyone else... but who should be that poster??

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Eventually the whole forums should be one poster making fun of everyone else... but who should be that poster??

Triangle Man. The saga will have to come full circle (so to say).

Elephant Ambush
Nov 13, 2012

...We sholde spenden more time together. What sayest thou?
Nap Ghost

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Eventually the whole forums should be one poster making fun of everyone else... but who should be that poster??

Lastgirl

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Eventually the whole forums should be one poster making fun of everyone else... but who should be that poster??

In the end it'll be the Doobster finally getting the last laugh at all the bad froggers, in the most pyrrhic of victories.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

What's actually going to happen is that Lowtax will ragequit and make everyone mods.

YggiDee
Sep 12, 2007

WASP CREW
I assume that once every other poster has banned each other, and the forums itself runs empty, that will activate the killswitch that frees Fishmech, with only herself to argue with.

YggiDee has a new favorite as of 06:23 on Dec 23, 2019

Happy Thread
Jul 10, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Plaster Town Cop
Probably best to get used to saying themself all the time in life instead

The MUMPSorceress
Jan 6, 2012


^SHTPSTS

Gary’s Answer

YggiDee posted:

I assume that once every other poster has banned each other, and the forums itself runs empty, that will activate the killswitch that frees Fishmech, with only himself to argue with.

Herself

YggiDee
Sep 12, 2007

WASP CREW
Well, I learned something new today.

Happy Thread
Jul 10, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Plaster Town Cop
a good post tho

One More Fat Nerd
Apr 13, 2007

Mama’s Lil’ Louie

Nap Ghost

freemandela posted:

That was actually fanfiction written by a third party about him and gross poster Tambourine Man, which makes it worse, imo. Don't look it up, and definitely dont read it. If you do, you will regret it, I promise.

I believe there were also IRC chatlogs of djynn flyssa doing gross mutilation fetish rp stuff, not just 3rd party erotic fanfic. This on top of like wanting to be a yoshi, and have yoshis eat him and poo poo him out in an egg, and poo poo eggs on him/in his mouth. I remember that guy well because im pretty sure the banner ads on the bottom of the website calling him out are what got me to buy an account. I had to find out what the gently caress was up with this weird yoshi fetish dude.

Btw, people used to buy banner ads for goons being helldumped, in the hopes that would drive the helldump-ee to their own thread.

As an added level of irony, in addition to having an egg fetish, Djynn Flyssa also was balding and had a head shaped exactly like an egg. Basically an irl golden age batman villain.

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Mr. Fall Down Terror
Jan 24, 2018

by Fluffdaddy

bloom posted:

Not quite the most or best but it's a pretty good deal



amazing

https://www.goldbelly.com/skyline-chili

https://www.kroger.com/p/skyline-chili-original-chili/0004172914390

note that there is nothing special about this chili, it is meat and beans in a can. i guess it's special because it's from ohio, a state that is not known for having good food or producing special meat or beans?

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