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Nitrox posted:I hear more people are going to see Cats because of the disaster that it is, than actual fans Is it bad enough to hate watch? Like I know it’s bad, but it needs to be the right kind of bad.
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Dec 27, 2019 02:09
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Remember that mobile game ad I posted earlier. There's a worst version: https://www.facebook.com/kissofwaronline/videos/2617154878513627/HOLY gently caress posted:Is it bad enough to hate watch? Like I know it’s bad, but it needs to be the right kind of bad. This is text from an actual review.  
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Dec 27, 2019 03:25
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HOLY gently caress posted:Is it bad enough to hate watch? Like I know it’s bad, but it needs to be the right kind of bad. Samuringa posted:https://twitter.com/Daviesallison1A/status/1209555650314981376
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Dec 27, 2019 03:54
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It should be noted that even if all the hate-watchers bought 5 tickets it would still be a fin failure. (which is why everyone should buy 6)
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Dec 27, 2019 03:55
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You don't release a movie on the same weekend as Star Wars unless you are hoping nobody notices it.
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Dec 27, 2019 04:00
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PhazonLink posted:It should be noted that even if all the hate-watchers bought 5 tickets it would still be a fin failure. Everyone can have little a Cats, as a treat.
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Dec 27, 2019 04:07
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Bobby Digital posted:Everyone can have little a Cats, as a punishment.
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Dec 27, 2019 04:09
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wow
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Dec 27, 2019 04:55
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It's super amazing, go see it asap
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Dec 27, 2019 08:08
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Oh god Now I have to see it
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Dec 27, 2019 08:11
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She... she unzips an outer layer of nude cat skin to reveal a clothed cat body? 
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Dec 27, 2019 08:20
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Olive! posted:She... she unzips an outer layer of nude cat skin to reveal a clothed cat body? Just go watch the drat movie because there's weirder poo poo in there than that
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Dec 27, 2019 08:32
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Just be aware that there will be things you can never unsee. Like the milk orgy bukake scene. Like Judi Dench laying in a cat bed, lifting her leg like a horny cat to present herself to Ian McKellen, except all genitals have been CGI'd away so there's nothing there even though you are very clearly meant to understand that Dame Judi Dench's cat-vagina is definitely 100% there and she is delighted to be presenting it to the cat who just sang about how he was cool when he was young, but now he's old so is hoping he gets to be the cat who dies. Or the insanely naked-not-naked Idris Elba, who is introduced by Taylor Swift as a ginger cat before bursting on scene as a completely naked black man, except again all genitals and defining body features have been smoothed away by a weird rippling CGI coating, leaving you with this disturbing liquid humanoid with cat ears. Despite most of the cats not wearing any clothes, he's somehow extra naked, but in a not-naked way from the CGI editing that makes the parts of your brain responsible for interpreting visual input ache. Also, it should be pointed out that while showing off her human-faced cockroaches, Rebel Wilson randomly eats a bunch of them alive. The creatures that are clearly established during this incredibly long scene as possessing sapience and feelings and a little civilisation of their own. Just eaten alive by the cat who wears cat skin over the clothes she wears over her actual cat skin.
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Dec 27, 2019 12:33
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I feel like the one hundred people that actually bought a ticket to Cats and entered the theatre were given a piece of paper with a few bullet points on it and told to go back out into the wild and tell the world just whatever the hell they want to about what they saw as long as they include or at least do not contradict those bullet points, and that is the actual movie.
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Dec 27, 2019 12:40
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How did such a bad movie come to have such an expensive cast?
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Dec 27, 2019 13:11
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Platystemon posted:How did such a bad movie come to have such an expensive cast? Andrew Lloyd Webber is perhaps the person least capable of making big movies that's nonetheless allowed to make big movies.
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Dec 27, 2019 13:17
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Platystemon posted:How did such a bad movie come to have such an expensive cast? Les Mis made 400 million and won a bunch of Oscars
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Dec 27, 2019 14:14
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I remember hearing about Cats back in, what, the 90s? I didn't get it then, but was then a child. As I've grown, and my understanding of the world has expanded and deepened, Cats makes less sense.
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Dec 27, 2019 14:24
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Vavrek posted:I remember hearing about Cats back in, what, the 90s? I didn't get it then, but was then a child. As I've grown, and my understanding of the world has expanded and deepened, Cats makes less sense.
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Dec 27, 2019 14:36
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I've always avoided Loyd-Webber stuff like the plague, but you're really selling me on this film.
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Dec 27, 2019 14:39
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Sunswipe posted:I've always avoided Loyd-Webber stuff like the plague, but you're really selling me on this film. I love Roger Waters's slam in It's a Miracle quote:It's a miracle
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Dec 27, 2019 15:00
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The IMDb user reviews are comedy gold: "I went home and punched my cat in the face" "This is what the people in Birdbox saw." "reminds me of that scene from Jurassic Park where Jeff Goldblum says "You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you never bothered to ask if you should." "We have gone altogether to please our 6 years old daughter: Even she couldn't stand it. Not to mention my wife snuck out at the 15th minute and came back just on the last song. I suspect she has been crying in the toilet." The list goes on
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Dec 27, 2019 15:10
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Platystemon posted:How did such a bad movie come to have such an expensive cast? Big musicals draw the dual-threat stars out and since the plot is just a series of cats introducing themselves I’m sure no individual needed to make much of a time commitment.
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Dec 27, 2019 15:16
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Cats was pretty important for my sister growing up. She loved it and wore out the vhs watching it, and she's pretty excited to go see it with our mom. I don't know whether I should warn them or stay out of it.
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Dec 27, 2019 15:23
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Taeke posted:Cats was pretty important for my sister growing up. She loved it and wore out the vhs watching it, and she's pretty excited to go see it with our mom. Always stay out of it, because they're not going to listen to you anyway.
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Dec 27, 2019 15:23
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HOLY gently caress posted:Is it bad enough to hate watch? Like I know it’s bad, but it needs to be the right kind of bad. Dear God yes. Everyone needs to see it.
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Dec 27, 2019 15:23
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Iron Crowned posted:Always stay out of it, because they're not going to listen to you anyway. Nah, if I tell them to wait until they can watch it at home they probably will. We're pretty close and respect each other and all that boring stuff. I'm just weighing being the good brother and protecting them from a huge disappointment vs. the comedy of their reactions afterwards. There'll be some sweet schadenfreude for sure.
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Dec 27, 2019 15:34
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Just show them the reviews
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Dec 27, 2019 15:54
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Taeke posted:Nah, if I tell them to wait until they can watch it at home they probably will. We're pretty close and respect each other and all that boring stuff.
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Dec 27, 2019 16:05
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Sunswipe posted:I've always avoided Loyd-Webber stuff like the plague, but you're really selling me on this film. I rather like the album Jesus Christ Superstar. Haven't seen either of the movies or a stage production, though, and from the clips I've seen I know I wouldn't be able to take them seriously at all, which may or may not be the point.
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Dec 27, 2019 16:08
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Cats: The Reviews The Movie
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Dec 27, 2019 16:10
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I'm looking forward to the surge in popularity when it's quietly dumped on Netflix, in turn, causing some animated spinoff series to blink into existance 6 months later.
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Dec 27, 2019 16:18
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Cleretic posted:Andrew Lloyd Webber is perhaps the person least capable of making big movies that's nonetheless allowed to make big movies. I like to think everyone got confused and thought they were making Paul F. Tompkins' Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats as some sort of meta-production.
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Dec 27, 2019 16:39
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Taeke posted:Nah, if I tell them to wait until they can watch it at home they probably will. We're pretty close and respect each other and all that boring stuff.
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Dec 27, 2019 16:53
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They will also leave blind
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Dec 27, 2019 16:54
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Cleretic posted:Andrew Lloyd Webber is perhaps the person least capable of making big movies that's nonetheless allowed to make big movies.
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Dec 27, 2019 16:55
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Honestly, people who like the musical have so far liked the film pretty well.
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Dec 27, 2019 17:04
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Splicer posted:He didn't make the film, he just made the stage musical. This is someone else's baby. Not entirely. TS Eliot needs to shoulder some of it as well. Without either of them, this movie would never have come into existence to threaten the very foundation of reality itself. Pick posted:Honestly, people who like the musical have so far liked the film pretty well.
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Dec 27, 2019 17:05
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https://twitter.com/zackwhittaker/status/1209181621494190080
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Dec 27, 2019 18:36
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It's the reporters fault for plugging mysterious USB devices into their computers. They could have easily actually been hacked lmao.
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Dec 27, 2019 18:45
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