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In. Two weeks would be better for me, but I can manage one. e: not my entry, but this is fun - https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3266265&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post372450711 posted:
lofi fucked around with this message at 20:27 on Dec 20, 2019 |
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Dec 20, 2019 17:44
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Don't feel you need weekly deadlines, just find out what works for poem krew
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Dec 21, 2019 08:39
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Ok then, so how about Deadlines for Week 6, Found Poetry Signups by: Dec 28 Submissions by: Dec 30 That way, we will ring the New Year in with the next prompt.
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Dec 22, 2019 14:39
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RAP CRITS LOFI Choosing “Eternal Light” may seem like the safest choice because of its length, but it’s so melodic that you have to be really careful. A number of your lines have asymmetrical rhymes, while the beat demands symmetry. None of the judges figured out your flow—you definitely needed more time stamps so we could figure out what words went where. Your lyrics were okay, but raps are about timing, and what was yours, even? SEPH You won mostly because you did what was asked of you when most of your opponents didn’t. You picked words that rhymed in a way that made sense, in a flow we could all follow easily. Thank you. Your lyrics are good, but I wish there was more of a theme outside “insults.” You mention twice that your flow is an ocean, so maybe a nautical thing might have made sense. Also, for your flow to work, you have to rapping quite slowly, but considering how intuitive is was, that ends up being a nitpick. ENT Thanks for actually rapping! It helped us know definitively what you flow was supposed to be. Unfortunately, this barely rhymed, and often didn’t at all. In fact, you could have used your audio rap to show us that it actually did, or at least half rhymed, but chose not to. I wish I could give this an A for effort, but rhyming is too important to overlook. JON JOE I like how you went for something a little more sensitive, it works well with the light, melodic beat. It’s good that you let the beat play between ten and fifteen seconds. The only reason this didn’t win was a touch of awkwardness in rhyming and flow—“appeal to a higher authority” is really jarring after setting up a pretty consistent rhyme scheme. Still, good work.
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Dec 27, 2019 00:45
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I dared to wish upon a star My manly beast roars Harrr! Harrr! Harrr! She tears her shirt apart; I see Her cleavage Waiting there for me
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Dec 28, 2019 05:08
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A Wild Animal posted:I dared to wish upon a star What was the original for that? lofi fucked around with this message at 12:56 on Dec 28, 2019 |
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Dec 28, 2019 11:14
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lofi posted:What was the original for that?
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Dec 28, 2019 11:20
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A Wild Animal posted:By what do you mean, Original? I thought you were entering for the found poetry challenge, so I meant what was the thing you edited into poetry. lofi fucked around with this message at 12:59 on Dec 28, 2019 |
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Dec 28, 2019 11:35
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lofi posted:I thought you were entering for the found poetry challenge, so I meant what was the thing you edited into poetry.
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Dec 28, 2019 11:38
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A Wild Animal posted:My own thoughts; and one magical night in a Motel room. Ah. This thread isn't a general poetry thread, though I'm not sure where misc poems would go - if you have a few poems, you could make a thread for them? lofi fucked around with this message at 12:59 on Dec 28, 2019 |
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Dec 28, 2019 12:22
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lofi posted:Ah. This thread isn't a general poetry thread, though I'm not sure where misc poems would go - if you have a few poems, you could make a thread for them?
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Dec 28, 2019 12:33
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A Wild Animal posted:Perhaps I will, my lady, in the space out side of the Poem Dome. 
lofi fucked around with this message at 13:25 on Dec 28, 2019 |
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Dec 28, 2019 12:53
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Wonders Beyond Your Vision From the Wikipedia page “Timeline of the Far Future” Moons of Uranus will have collided, the Sun’s luminosity increased. Even without a mass extinction most current species will have disappeared. Earth’s oceans evaporate. Triton falls through Neptune’s limit disintegrating into a planetary ring. Only prokaryotes remain.
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Dec 29, 2019 02:58
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Are signups still open? Because I'll sign up if so. If not, ah well.
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Dec 29, 2019 03:00
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Antivehicular posted:Are signups still open? Because I'll sign up if so. If not, ah well. Yep! The deadline is in like three hours.
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Dec 29, 2019 03:03
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I’m in. Buzzer beater!
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Dec 29, 2019 04:11
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sephiRoth IRA posted:I’m in. Buzzer beater! Nice! also Saucy_Rodent posted:Moons of Haha
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Dec 29, 2019 04:22
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Ok then, Entrants: 1. Saucy_Rodent [already posted poem] 2. lofi 3. Antivehicular 4. SephiRoth IRA Judge: 1. cda Good luck, poets. Have fun and remember: it's more important to post something than to post something good (my posting philosophy in general).
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Dec 29, 2019 18:25
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Caveat Emptor assembled from e-commerce customer reviews moderated by the author, 2010-2013 i thought that it would be fun to have a smart phone. i am handicapped never leave the house, what was i thinking or not thinking. email fun to use and real efficent. web sites not. the rat is still in the compost bin. who cares if someone is making a wife or a girlfriend out of your garbage, its garbage, forget about it living with this is like waiting for the next bad thing to happen. i don't even have anyone to text. what a jerk i am.
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Dec 30, 2019 07:07
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Progress 1. work can be performed cost-effectively by the private sector defending this darker, dirtier future decapitate science in a professional way transporting decaying organic material Threatened with extinction an eternal experiment, aiming at evolution, betting on its own betterment. 2. Grass-roots gatherings radiating bright turquoise, deep blues and vivid greens similar unfounded conspiracy theories challenged established scientific research we’re going to take you outside the bubble move you out in the real part of the country 3. We are some of the first people in history who have found ways to make progress against these problems The world is much better the world is awful the world can be much better We have changed the world Excerpts taken from the following New York Times articles: The Decade We Changed Our Minds By Charles M. Blow Keep Our Rivers Wild By Macarena Soler, Monti Aguirre and Juan Pablo Orrego This Has Been the Best Year Ever By Nicholas Kristof Science Under Attack: How Trump Is Sidelining Researchers and Their Work By Brad Plumer and Coral Davenport ‘Nothing Less Than a Civil War’: These White Voters on the Far Right See Doom Without Trump By Astead W. Herndon
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Dec 30, 2019 09:26
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John Galt posted:For years, you have been asking: Who does not sacrifice his love? I figured that if anything could do with a facelift, it's horrible libertarian bullshit. The speech is infamously long, I could have edited down superhard and just chosen individual words, but that felt against the spirit of it so I just used the first couple of pages.
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Dec 30, 2019 14:51
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Antivehicular posted:Caveat Emptor Just wanted to say that I liked this a lot 
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Dec 30, 2019 18:54
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Agreed, it's very much my feelings.
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Dec 30, 2019 19:18
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I really enjoyed these and they were all good. I am specifically interested in found poetry's capacity to develop novel ways of expressing this ecological moment -- it is a poetic technique of recycling, for a start -- so it was cool to see that addressed in both Saucy_Rodent and SephiRoth IRA's poems. The Loser here is Lofi, who did a good job of using the source material against itself -- it's not so much that the poem is bad as that it's incredibly ambitious and I think it's not quite finished as it is. And the Winner is Antivehicular. I would love to see the source material for that. I will post more detailed crits later this week. Happy New Year!
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Jan 1, 2020 03:34
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Prompt! Also happy new year everyone Stay safe tonight!
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Jan 1, 2020 06:15
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cda posted:I would love to see the source material for that. The backstory there: for a couple of years, I had a part-time job with a company that managed e-commerce sites, reading and screening customer reviews posted to clients' sites. Needless to say, there were a lot of extremely weird things posted, and after a while I made a private text file of the weirdest or most striking stuff I saw. This poem was pieced together from chunks of those reviews. Anyway! On to the prompt: Week 7: Repeat Yourselves This week, I'd like to prompt you to play around with a poetic form I find very interesting: the pantoum. Derived from the Malay pantun berkait, the pantoum is a form defined by repetition of lines across the stanza. Each stanza of the pantoum is a quatrain (four lines) of no fixed meter; the second and fourth lines of each stanza will become the first and third lines of the next, until the final stanza, where the first and third lines of the first stanza will become the last's second and fourth. Here's an example of the format, assuming a common four-line pantoum: quote:A Each line of the pantoum will be used twice, so a major part of the art of the form is recontextualizing the repeated lines to create new meanings; changing punctuation and verb forms is also acceptable, although the words themselves shouldn't change. This is an intricate form and requires some planning, but I find it a really interesting exercise, and I hope you will too. This week, please write me a pantoum between 4 and 8 stanzas (16 to 32 lines) long. The subject matter and other technical elements are your choice; pantoums typically don't have meter or rhyme, but I can't stop you from it. What I'm looking for is flow and careful use of the repeating lines. Signups Close Monday, January 6th, 11:59 PM Pacific Submissions Close Wednesday, January 8th, 11:59 PM Pacific Judges: Antivehicular ?? ??? Poets: 1. Armack 2. cda 3. sephiRoth IRA 4. Djeser  5. Thranguy 6. flerp 7. Saucy_Rodent Antivehicular fucked around with this message at 11:36 on Jan 7, 2020 |
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Jan 1, 2020 11:19
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In.
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Jan 1, 2020 16:34
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Antivehicular posted:The backstory there: for a couple of years, I had a part-time job with a company that managed e-commerce sites, reading and screening customer reviews posted to clients' sites. Needless to say, there were a lot of extremely weird things posted, and after a while I made a private text file of the weirdest or most striking stuff I saw. This poem was pieced together from chunks of those reviews. One of the things I really liked about the poem was I couldn't quite tell if/where there were edits because things can get weird on the internet but also, the rat is still in the compost bin. who cares if someone is making a wife or a girlfriend out of your garbage, its garbage, forget about it seems really, really weird.
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Jan 1, 2020 17:12
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I'm in. Forms that are based on recycling lines or words (e.g villanelle, sestina, and this one) are, along with the found poetry thing, real interesting to me in how they might be used to discuss ecological themes, so this I will probably do a found poem as I did with the sonnet. I promise I write other stuff too and apologize in advance for using this thread to try and work out my half-baked ideas
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Jan 1, 2020 17:18
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In
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Jan 1, 2020 18:07
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in
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Jan 1, 2020 18:48
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In
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Jan 1, 2020 19:09
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in
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Jan 1, 2020 19:52
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cda posted:One of the things I really liked about the poem was I couldn't quite tell if/where there were edits because things can get weird on the internet but also, This is actually the one chunk where I combined two reviews! The first line is from a review of some home-improvement product (presumably to keep rats out of your compost bin?), while the rest of it is from a long, angry review of an Adventure Time video game. (I could probably have made an entire poem out of people angry about Gamestop and/or its products.)
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Jan 2, 2020 11:44
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In
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Jan 2, 2020 17:39
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Signups are closed. Two days for poeming remain; use them wisely.
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Jan 7, 2020 11:37
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Charybdis Tread against the waves that froth in the shadows of this hidden cove. The pull starts deep within, dragging towards the sucking mouth. In the shadows of this hidden cove I spend each day strained against the vortex dragging towards the sucking mouth. “Give up your struggle!” the roar beats upon me. I spend each day strained against the vortex in the raging tempest that will always be my thoughts. “Give up your struggle!” the roar beats upon me. “Plunge down to where the current can carry you away!” In the raging tempest that will always be, my thoughts tread against the waves that froth “Plunge down to where the current can carry you away! The pull starts deep within!”
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Jan 8, 2020 06:55
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The Merits of a Banquet: To Serve Others is the Highest Virtue Upon its wooden slab my feast impresses. It’s content to come apart, emit pungent odors, revel in its allure while being devoured. It’s content to come apart, emit pungent odors: A feast self-actualizes in delighting others while being devoured, however quickly forgotten. A feast self-actualizes in delighting others; perhaps that’s why my body rests at ease. However quickly forgotten, I feel the worms make a banquet of me. Perhaps that’s why my body rests at ease: upon its wooden slab my feast impresses. I feel the worms make a banquet of me. Revel in its allure.
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Jan 8, 2020 07:58
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Asphaultward Above us strange wonders so clockworkly occur we learned such stupidity to call them boring. So clockworkly occur your daily exhaustions to call them boring keeps you alive. Your daily exhaustions, asphaultward gazing, keep you alive until they don’t. Asphaultward gazing. Above us strange wonders! Until they don’t, we learned such stupidity.
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Jan 8, 2020 16:53
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Found Pantoum: JSTOR search: sustainable cyclic imbricate Naturally subject to cyclic fires [1] The five imbricate petals are concave and unequal [2] A most significant contribution to our knowledge [1] And the innermost the smallest. [2] The five imbricate petals are concave and unequal, [1] The outermost being the largest, [1] And the innermost the smallest [1] wonders of the industrial revolution. [3] The outermost being the largest [1] using Euler-Bernoulli beam theory, [3] wonders of the industrial revolution [3] envelop the primordial leaved shoot. [2] Using Euler-Bernoulli beam theory, [3] we calculate the force sustainable, [3] envelop the primordial leaved shoot [2] via sutures on all sides. [3] We calculate the force sustainable [3] By an individual feather [3] Via sutures on all sides: [3] Our way of life and the collapse. [2] By an individual feather, [3] Before failure by buckling, occurs [3] Our way of life and the collapse [2] In an efficient and sustainable manner. [4] Before failure by buckling occurs, [3] The buds of long shoots, as defined here, [2] In an efficient and sustainable manner, [4] Undergo cyclic changes. [2] The buds of long shoots, as defined here, [2] Naturally subject to cyclic fires, [1] Undergo cyclic changes, [2] A most significant contribution to our knowledge. [1] [1] Farjon, Aljos, and Brian T. Styles. “Pinus (Pinaceae).” Flora Neotropica, vol. 75, 1997, pp. 1–291. [2] “Abstracts.” American Journal of Botany, vol. 83, no. 6, 1996, pp. 1–224. [3] “Abstracts of Papers. Sixty-Ninth Annual Meeting, Society of Vertebrate Paleontology.” Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology, vol. 29, no. 3, 2009, pp. 1A-213A. [4] “Abstracts.” American Journal of Botany, vol. 76, no. 6, 1989, pp. 1–292.[/quote]
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Jan 8, 2020 19:46
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