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it couldnt possibly be that we know and are mocking it. no. it must be that we have never heard of it before.
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Jan 2, 2020 14:49
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I've seen honest to goodness fist fights break out in men's bathrooms over breaking urinal etiquette. If there's a line no one cares, if there isn't and you take the urinal next to someone and they say something you just have to acknowledge the faux pas, but if they say something and respond with "I like to piss next to guys with super small dicks to make mine look bigger", well, then you really stepped in it now.
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Jan 2, 2020 14:55
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Give your urinal neighbor a nice shoulder rub if you finish a piss before him.
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Jan 2, 2020 15:11
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Jeeze, that's ridiculous. Glad I quit.
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Jan 2, 2020 15:20
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    lol oops meant this for the meme thread oh well A FESTIVE SKELETON has a new favorite as of 16:07 on Jan 2, 2020 |
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Jan 2, 2020 15:28
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Ok, just say you're using one of these urinals and it's crowded. How do you NOT stare at another dudes junk or lock eyes with someone? Just acknowledge the awkwardness, hit the flush with your foot, and walk away?
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Jan 2, 2020 15:28
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Lock eyes, get boner, pee in high arc directly on his chest
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Jan 2, 2020 15:30
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Raptor1033 posted:Ok, just say you're using one of these urinals and it's crowded. How do you NOT stare at another dudes junk or lock eyes with someone? Just acknowledge the awkwardness, hit the flush with your foot, and walk away? Maybe it's the joke going over my head, but this is actually an industrial wash fountain, usually found around production facilities. However, I've seen people profoundly confused about the function. https://www.bradleycorp.com/product-category/washfountains
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Jan 2, 2020 15:32
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Cornering the guy who took the urinal next to the stalls is a power thing, not a sex thing 
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Jan 2, 2020 16:07
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Everyone knows it's not size that's judged at a urinal- it's foreskinhavers vs cutboys.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:08
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I leave a stall for Jesus because I'm pee shy and it's easier to pee without having someone right next to me. It's a social anxiety thing. That said, if all other urinals are full, Jesus can wait while I take a leak.Milo and POTUS posted:I try to strike up conversations You're the devil, aren't you?
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Jan 2, 2020 16:11
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If you're getting into issue of toxic masculinity though, I don't see why a detailed unspoken etiquette about respecting one another's personal space and privacy during an unavoidable situation is something you should discourage.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:11
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I love the guys that are so afraid of someone catching a glimpse of their dick at the urinal that they're practically climbing inside the thing. Could you get any closer to it? Their clothes are touching the sides of the drat thing. They're so close that they're probably getting massive splashback.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:15
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I'd think it would be even harder to pee with Jesus next to me
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Jan 2, 2020 16:22
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What if you're just shy and don't like randos seeing your junk? 
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Jan 2, 2020 16:26
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FreudianSlippers posted:Whomst among us has not shat in a urinal 
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Jan 2, 2020 16:28
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:I love the guys that are so afraid of someone catching a glimpse of their dick at the urinal that they're practically climbing inside the thing. Could you get any closer to it? Their clothes are touching the sides of the drat thing. They're so close that they're probably getting massive splashback. It's not so much someone seeing your dick as a personal space issue. Like, if you've ever used the urinal trough at Wrigley Field you know there is no such thing as modesty, but giving each other at least a bit of elbow room is still considered good form.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:33
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Yeah you can see my dick from anywhere so that's not really the issue. I just don't want your grotesque drunk stinking genitals too close to my beautiful body
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Jan 2, 2020 16:37
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If you're in flip flops it's perfectly acceptable to demand a buffer zone. Otherwise you probably just got a small pecker.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:43
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Fartbox posted:Yeah you can see my dick from anywhere so that's not really the issue. I just don't want your grotesque drunk stinking genitals too close to my beautiful body Ugh, that reminds me of the one time I actually was annoyed by someone breaking urinal etiquette. I was at a bar by Wrigley (which was the first problem) and this dude comes stumbling in obviously waaaaay too drunk to still be drinking. He takes the urinal directly next to me, whatever. Then when he unzips I get almost floored by the smell. It was the absolute worst crotch rot smell I've ever encountered in my whole life. And I used to live in a punk squat with crust punks. Like I'm talking weapons grade level here. I almost threw up. I actually stopped mid stream to change urinals because it was so bad. One of my friends had genital warts and I convinced him to show it to me while he was having a flare up and it looked like a black ear of corn with this white medicinal cream kind of smeared on it and stained pinkish between the "kernels" from the cracking and mixing with blood. That was less disgusting than the smell of this dude's dick.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:44
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JoelJoel posted:If you're in flip flops it's perfectly acceptable to demand a buffer zone. Otherwise you probably just got a small pecker. in the case of Growers v Showers, we the jury find the defendant's 
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Jan 2, 2020 17:00
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Someone in Toronto's Chinatown area who stole my camcorder has footage of my friend Andy making GBS threads in a urinal in a Toledo area rest stop along. Also, a bunch of other things nobody should ever see as we were on our way to my 4-day bachelor party. Kirk Vikernes has a new favorite as of 17:16 on Jan 2, 2020 |
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Jan 2, 2020 17:07
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Solice Kirsk posted:Ugh, that reminds me of the one time I actually was annoyed by someone breaking urinal etiquette. I was at a bar by Wrigley (which was the first problem) and this dude comes stumbling in obviously waaaaay too drunk to still be drinking. He takes the urinal directly next to me, whatever. Then when he unzips I get almost floored by the smell. It was the absolute worst crotch rot smell I've ever encountered in my whole life. And I used to live in a punk squat with crust punks. Like I'm talking weapons grade level here. I almost threw up. Thanks for this
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Jan 2, 2020 17:07
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Tiny Lowtax posted:It was a thing when the Motorola Droid came out like 8 years ago. Had a roommate who got one, and thanks to my Mac's "say" command I figured out that the robo voice isn't actually saying "DROID", it's saying "JROID". Always fun to ask how his new Jroid was working out for him. 
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Jan 2, 2020 17:15
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Women find "bathroom etiquette" a mystery because they're all disgusting pieces of poo poo who literally throw their used tampons and crap-covered toilet paper at the walls. Having had to clean multiple bathrooms, I'm an authority on this.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:17
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This is all evidence for stall based, gender neutral bathrooms.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:20
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Data Graham posted:I'd think it would be even harder to pee with Jesus next to me Would he turn your piss into pisswine?
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Jan 2, 2020 17:20
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The ultimate urinal power move. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItgJzRKo2WI
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Jan 2, 2020 17:20
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lol if you dont butt in to pee into the same urinal that another man is using like a true alpha
Hackers film 1995 has a new favorite as of 17:34 on Jan 2, 2020 |
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Jan 2, 2020 17:31
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I pee in a bed with my wife
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Jan 2, 2020 17:32
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Solice Kirsk posted:Ugh, that reminds me of the one time I actually was annoyed by someone breaking urinal etiquette. I was at a bar by Wrigley (which was the first problem) and this dude comes stumbling in obviously waaaaay too drunk to still be drinking. He takes the urinal directly next to me, whatever. Then when he unzips I get almost floored by the smell. It was the absolute worst crotch rot smell I've ever encountered in my whole life. And I used to live in a punk squat with crust punks. Like I'm talking weapons grade level here. I almost threw up. Yoshi Wins posted:Thanks for this Same, I also found those descriptions deeply erotic.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:33
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Everyone always ignores the aerosolized urine cloud that forms around you as an inherent part of using a urinal. Intentionally using the urinal next to someone is effectively the same as walking up to them and spraying them down with bodily waste, it's tantamount to biological warfare and is technically illegal by international accord.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:37
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Life sure is difficult when you have a penis.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:38
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Mushika posted:Life sure is difficult when you have a penis. It's why we get paid that 20% more than women. Because of all the extra bathroom rules we have to follow. It's exhausting.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:42
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Mens Rooms are a labyrinth of convoluted mores and complex unwritten rules
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Jan 2, 2020 17:47
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And piss
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Jan 2, 2020 17:48
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MizPiz posted:Women find "bathroom etiquette" a mystery because they're all disgusting pieces of poo poo who literally throw their used tampons and crap-covered toilet paper at the walls. I was a janitor for a while, and I can confirm
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Jan 2, 2020 17:49
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Iron Crowned posted:I was a janitor for a while, and I can confirm Yeah in my retail management days I've cleaned enough public bathrooms to agree. I would always rather clean a men's room than a women's room at the end of the day.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:54
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piss washes right off
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Jan 2, 2020 17:54
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 22:33 |
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Women: "I really don't get why men have strange rules to avoid noticing each other in the bathroom" Also women: https://twitter.com/AshleyNyhoff/status/359811567623213057?s=19
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Jan 2, 2020 17:57
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