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"You know, I was raised to hate cats, but you seem pretty alright!" said Jessflips the upwardly mobile mouse. "Why thank you," said Rees the Mogg. "You're quite captivating yourself. Frankly delicious company." "Oh you're so sweet. I don't get why everyone says you're a oval office, you've been polite and gentlemanly to me! And every mouse we met on our walk, though they did all seem to disappear very suddenly. I guess they were in a hurry!" "MMGGGHMGGMGMMM Oh excuse me I was picking fur out of my teeth. Yes, I really think there's an unfortunate tendency towards intolerance of alternative views on the left. They won't accept that a cat could have something of value to say." "Yeah, my whole family was like, don't go near cats they'll eat you and they'll play with you first cos they're cunts, and I was like psshh nah everyone loves me and I'm a bridge builder. And I was right about you! Guess I'm just smarter than everyone else." "Yes, you most certainly are..." said Rees the Mogg, advancing and licking his chops. Edit: Number 11 in my new book of centrist fairy tales.
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Jan 3, 2020 14:52
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I'm 30 now so probably wouldn't be conscripted but I dare them to try and make my fat rear end do military poo poo. Also hi folks, I checked out of the thread after the election for some "picking up the pieces of my soul" time. Super cool that 2020 is getting off to a start where we have to worry about another forever war.
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Jan 3, 2020 14:57
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Braggart posted:book of centrist fairy tales.
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Jan 3, 2020 14:58
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mehall posted:Lol, as if they won't draft tubbos anyway. Not as shameful as the last opinion expressed by an SNP leader on the draft. She probably thinks you're trapping her.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:12
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Ms Adequate posted:Sure, but the political sphere can only tolerate so much loss these days. Selling against the fear of wsr is just as good, and runs far less risk of unpredictable things like a peacenik government getting in. Not to go all armchair general on this, but I'm also wondering exactly how they're going to wrangle the logistics on this one. Like, you probably want to go in from the Iraqi border. Are you routing supplies through the Persian Gulf? Seems uhhh maybe not the smartest move. So it's overland, then? From a Hidjazi port on the Red Sea? Or you can go in through Pakistan, and then you're also on the wrong side of another bunch of mountains that might be even worse than the Zagros? And the Dasht-e-Lut? And even further from Tehran? Comedy option: opposed landing in Hormuz.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:16
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Also in my new book of centrist fairy tales, The Boy Who Cried Corbyn:
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Jan 3, 2020 15:21
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Some serious brain spiders going on to own a mug that just says BRITAIN on it in case you forget what country you're in. Or possibly just RITAIN I can't be sure.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:25
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OwlFancier posted:Or possibly just RITAIN I can't be sure. Ritainers are the new more patriotic version of remainers.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:27
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OwlFancier posted:Or possibly just RITAIN I can't be sure.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:30
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7OoIFo9qbM Not to get too  but despite me not watching any of his videos in months this was the top of my Youtube recs this morning - trying to tell the streaming generation that if they join the Army they'll get these great rations?(It's a pure coincidence and TBH I'm posting it here to spread the joy of Steve1989MREInfo's videos - I've no idea how anyone can be so enthusiastic about such a dull subject but it works) e: Wait the Army doesn't get proper tea bags any more? This is an outrage! Send them out without body armour, IED hardened vehicles or even boots, but no British soldier can possibly face the enemy on freeze-dried tea! goddamnedtwisto fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Jan 3, 2020 |
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Jan 3, 2020 15:31
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CONTROLS ON BRITAIN
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Jan 3, 2020 15:34
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They're probably not going to bring back the draft, but if they do, I sure hope people ITT are dual EU nationals and/or have some other way of getting off this rainy fascist island before the poo poo really hits the fan.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:34
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What actually happens to you if you refuse to be conscripted? I'm pretty sure I'd rather go to jail than get flown overseas to wander around a mountain until I get shot in the head. It seems about ten times more preferable.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:35
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Venomous posted:They're probably not going to bring back the draft, but if they do, I sure hope people here are dual EU nationals? I'm not but I'm old enough and fat enough to be safe so bring back National Service immediately!
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Jan 3, 2020 15:36
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hello yes I am woefully out of shape, suicidally depressed, and a raving communist, you should definitely give me a gun.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:39
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Doctor_Fruitbat posted:What actually happens to you if you refuse to be conscripted? I'm pretty sure I'd rather go to jail than get flown overseas to wander around a mountain until I get shot in the head. It seems about ten times more preferable. We do have at least some protections for conscientious objection. They're never bringing back the draft however, so please no-one here actually worry about it.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:40
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Doctor_Fruitbat posted:What actually happens to you if you refuse to be conscripted? I'm pretty sure I'd rather go to jail than get flown overseas to wander around a mountain until I get shot in the head. It seems about ten times more preferable. you might get presented with a white feather or be humiliatingly owned on the twitters
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Jan 3, 2020 15:42
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mehall posted:Lol, as if they won't draft tubbos anyway. Bit of a GOTCHA question no matter how you answer. "Yes" and you are worst in the world for not stopping it. "No" and you are worst in the world for not helping the victims or allies. "Maybe" and you are worst in the world for not being decisive enough.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:45
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Doctor_Fruitbat posted:What actually happens to you if you refuse to be conscripted? I'm pretty sure I'd rather go to jail than get flown overseas to wander around a mountain until I get shot in the head. It seems about ten times more preferable. If you couldn't get Conscientious Objector status you were pretty much thrown in military prison for the duration. This was unpleasant enough that many actually did volunteer to go to the front just to get out, something that is not a coincidence. COs still went into the Forces but were given non-combatant roles - again not coincidentally the criteria for CO status were such that if you weren't willing to crawl around under sniper fire as a medic or drive a truck through a minefield you were thrown in prison. However there's basically zero chance of conscription coming back in even the medium term (next 5-10 years). The Forces just aren't set up for it, having spent more than half a century setting themselves up around a small, highly-professional volunteer model. It's notable that every time some frothing right-winger (notably one too old and fat to qualify) suggests bringing back National Service by far the loudest objections come from the Forces themselves - they don't need or want warm bodies with rifles, they want people who actually want to be there.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:47
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happyhippy posted:Bit of a GOTCHA question no matter how you answer. Yeah this is hypothetical crap. No-one is being drafted and I imagine the answer would be extremely complex legally. Wouldn't respond if I were her.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:49
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goddamnedtwisto posted:they don't need or want warm bodies with rifles, they want people who actually want to be there. For a given value of want, anyway.
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Jan 3, 2020 15:50
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baka kaba posted:what hemisphere are you in right now mister The worst one  Waiting for the missus to sort her visa out
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Jan 3, 2020 15:53
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thespaceinvader posted:For a given value of want, anyway. It's pretty quick and easy to get out if you want to. At any point in your training or your first two years of duty you can pretty much just quit and they'll discharge you as "unsuited to military life" or something similar. Like I say, there's no real advantage in keeping someone around who doesn't want to be there, they're far more dangerous in than out. This even applies if you decide you don't want to go on deployment into a war zone. The problem is that a lot of the people who "want" to be there don't actually want to be there for themselves but for external reasons so are unlikely to take the opportunity, and that's where a lot of the problems start. I've argued here about this before, but there's a tendency from a lot of people on the Left to assume that anyone wanting to go into the Forces are baby-eating psychopaths who join up because they can't wait to advance imperialist interests on a road of brown people's bones. Now while that's certainly true (well maybe not in so many words) for some proportion of people who join up, the majority join up because they see no other way of ever getting out of the town where they were born, or because their mates all joined up, or family tradition/pressure, or any combination of those factors, and it's that pressure against their own reservations that leads to the worst issues you get with mental health.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:01
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baka kaba posted:what hemisphere are you in right now mister I've crossed between Western and Eastern hemispheres a dozen or so times today just doing some shopping.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:02
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goddamnedtwisto posted:the majority join up because they see no other way of ever getting out of the town where they were born, or because their mates all joined up, or family tradition/pressure, or any combination of those factors, and it's that pressure against their own reservations that leads to the worst issues you get with mental health. This is much more what I'm complaining about. I don't think even close to the majority of people who join up with the Forces are psychos, I think most of them are much more victims of lovely economies forcing them to do so. Possibly less so in this country than in the USA, because our education costs are lower and I don't think the forces pay for University the way they do in the US, but it's still the military-industrial complex exploiting the poor and vulnerable that concerns me, not giving psychos guns.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:06
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How old and fat do you need to be to avoid being drafted into the death cult? I need to start preparing my girth.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:16
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thespaceinvader posted:This is much more what I'm complaining about. I don't think even close to the majority of people who join up with the Forces are psychos, I think most of them are much more victims of lovely economies forcing them to do so. Possibly less so in this country than in the USA, because our education costs are lower and I don't think the forces pay for University the way they do in the US, but it's still the military-industrial complex exploiting the poor and vulnerable that concerns me, not giving psychos guns. "You'll learn a trade" is the UK equivalent of the US GI Bill, and works just as well. A lot of that is that the idea of college being a route out of poverty is a much, much newer idea in the UK than the US of course.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:18
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ThomasPaine posted:In other news, HIGNFY is hot garbage and I'm embarrassed that I ever used to laugh at their sneering bullshit I say I say! Did you hear about the pleb child who fell into a mixing vat the other day? Oh goodness, what a mix-up! No don't worry, it made their gruel slightly more nutritious! ROFL HONK HONK HONK
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Jan 3, 2020 16:26
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Currently arguing with Dom Joly on Twitter trying to back up Jeremy Corbyn and who I think is a fellow UK goon from this thread, it’s been a strange way to wake up.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:30
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ThomasPaine posted:In other news, HIGNFY is hot garbage and I'm embarrassed that I ever used to laugh at their sneering bullshit Am I reading this wrong, or is that a 'you reap what you sow by voting Tory' joke which is actually good imo. It's pointing out how the Tories will not help much, not disparaging food banks.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:32
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https://twitter.com/RealNatalieRowe/status/1213119730829217806 Twitter guessing it's Bernie Ecclestone but I've got my own theory which I sure as hell am not going to share until she names him, because he's got a shitload of lawyers.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:36
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happyhippy posted:Am I reading this wrong, or is that a 'you reap what you sow by voting Tory' joke which is actually good imo. I read it your way originally but quite clearly hundreds didn't so I second-guessed myself.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:39
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I can't get enough of are Dan
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It's HIGNFY so it's hard to imagine it not being sneering even if it's technically accurate.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:41
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goddamnedtwisto posted:https://twitter.com/RealNatalieRowe/status/1213119730829217806 Give us some initials you coward
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Jan 3, 2020 16:56
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Braggart posted:"You know, I was raised to hate cats, but you seem pretty alright!" said Jessflips the upwardly mobile mouse.
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Jan 3, 2020 17:09
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The CNN analysis piece on this is a thing of beauty: one giant What The gently caress? https://edition.cnn.com/2020/01/03/middleeast/us-logic-baghdad-strike-intl/index.html quote:like with all strategies, there is a flaw. The Iranians have a plan. They had one for Iraq, where they continue to have influence despite protests, whereas the US doesn't really. They have one for Syria, from which the US keeps wanting to withdraw. They have proxies in Yemen, Lebanon and Syria, all able to extract a price from American allies. They can also extract a price from Israel, where Lebanon's Hezbollah has rockets aimed at this key US ally, and a direct line to Iran. Iran is strategic, and it is patient.
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Jan 3, 2020 17:54
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I've read all the Clancy novels. You're hired! 
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Jan 3, 2020 17:57
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Ratjaculation posted:The worst one ... hey! that's this one!! goddamnedtwisto posted:I've crossed between Western and Eastern hemispheres a dozen or so times today just doing some shopping. just thought of a supermarket with the international date line running right down the middle - imagine the reductions deals
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Jan 3, 2020 18:03
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baka kaba posted:just thought of a supermarket with the international date line running right down the middle - imagine the reductions deals Quite a lot of water-damage reductions too.
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Jan 3, 2020 18:07
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baka kaba posted:... hey! that's this one!! Or just read Puckoon instead.
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Jan 3, 2020 18:08
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