January Current Events: 50 is my favorite caliber AND my BMI

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > January Current Events: 50 is my favorite caliber AND my BMI

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Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

https://twitter.com/dasharez0ne/status/1213143363664437249

"how the gently caress is compulsory service real haha"

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 1, 2024 05:23

Crakkerjakk: Mar 14, 2016

.... Probably not very likely.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:29

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

Yeah I'm just feeling a little bit excitable I think. The fact that things have escalated so quickly from the other day is pretty disconcerting

To be clear I didn't mean Iran baiting the US to kill their top guy but some kind of lesser response. I realize that they like to talk poo poo but tweeting about how President Trump can't respond to your aggression seems like such an obvious mistake. Goading someone as petty as Trump without wanting him to respond doesn't make much sense.

Kawasaki Nun fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Jan 3, 2020

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:33

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

And if those cannibals keep trying
To sacrifice us to their pride
They soon shall hear the bullets flying
We�ll shoot the generals on our own side.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:35

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Iran's actions + tweets were all pretty bombastic, and they know Trump is an idiot. How likely is it that they were attempting to bait us into kicking things off?

Considering the tweets/etc. were from 2018 to early 2019, they probably weren't much of a factor.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:36

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

joat mon posted:

Considering the tweets/etc. were from 2018 to early 2019, they probably weren't much of a factor.

Ah there it is, for whatever reason I was under the impression they came within the last week or so. Thanks for clarifying that.

Kawasaki Nun fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Jan 3, 2020

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:37

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Already running into people on Facebook calling for WAR!!!!! Oh hey it�s cool I already did my time and can�t get recalled Thank you for your service.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:38

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

45 ACP CURES NAZIS posted:

And if those cannibals keep trying
To sacrifice us to their pride
They soon shall hear the bullets flying
We’ll shoot the generals on our own side.

America has an army of fascists who will never actually stand on the side of Justice or equality.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:41

Schadenboner: Aug 15, 2011; by Shine

Flying_Crab posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/intelcrab/status/1213182593442734082

E:

https://twitter.com/mike_pence/status/1213189757708189699?s=21 this sounds familiar

Iran, the well-known supporters of (*checks notes*) ...Wahhabite militancy?

:confused:

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:41

colachute: Mar 15, 2015

Are we gonna start a pool on when we will just launch a full fledged invasion?

I�m selling March 19 for $100.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:43

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

Schadenboner posted:

Iran, the well-known supporters of (*checks notes*) ...Wahhabite militancy?

Let me tell you how much your average American knows about the Middle East: they're all brown Muslims. That's it.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:44

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

Sometime during the next administration, whoever is running it.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:47

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

gently caress it, im done

get high, wear dark sunglasses indoors, listen to rad music and don't forget to smile for the flash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKRJfIPiJGY

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:54

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

hobbesmaster posted:

Trump is so bad at this that hes going to no CB invade Iran instead of going with one of the fabricated ones.

-2 stability and +2 war exhaustion, we're hosed.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:56

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

BREAKING NEWS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wHMaJ6AtNs

# ? Jan 3, 2020 22:57

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
Do Crime!

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Yeah I'm just feeling a little bit excitable I think. The fact that things have escalated so quickly from the other day is pretty disconcerting

To be clear I didn't mean Iran baiting the US to kill their top guy but some kind of lesser response. I realize that they like to talk poo poo but tweeting about how President Trump can't respond to your aggression seems like such an obvious mistake. Goading someone as petty as Trump without wanting him to respond doesn't make much sense.

this was me browsing twitter before bed and when waking up

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:10

Crakkerjakk: Mar 14, 2016

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Yeah I'm just feeling a little bit excitable I think. The fact that things have escalated so quickly from the other day is pretty disconcerting

To be clear I didn't mean Iran baiting the US to kill their top guy but some kind of lesser response. I realize that they like to talk poo poo but tweeting about how President Trump can't respond to your aggression seems like such an obvious mistake. Goading someone as petty as Trump without wanting him to respond doesn't make much sense.

The simple explanation is Iranian leadership post poo poo talking for the exact same reason US leadership does that, which is because people tend to poo poo talk people they don't like and it plays well with their political supporters.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:17

Kesper North: Nov 3, 2011; EMERGENCY POWER TO PARTY

EBB posted:

gently caress it, im done

get high, wear dark sunglasses indoors, listen to rad music and don't forget to smile for the flash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKRJfIPiJGY

VNV Nation's most recent album is a very topical return to form

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z2h4vif7wk

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:18

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

https://www.vox.com/world/2019/7/8/18693297/us-iran-war-trump-nuclear-iraq

What a War with Iran Might Look Like

quote:

How Iran might try to win the war

Retired Marine Lt. Gen. Vincent Stewart left his post as the No. 2 at US Cyber Command in 2019, ending a decorated four-decade career. Toward the end of it, he spent his time at the forefront of the military intelligence and cybersecurity communities.

If anyone has the most up-to-date information on how Iran may fight the US, then, it’s Stewart.

“The Iranian strategy would be to avoid, where possible, direct conventional force-on-force operations,” he wrote for the Cipher Brief on July 2, 2019. “They would attempt to impose cost on a global scale, striking at US interests through cyber operations and targeted terrorism with the intent of expanding the conflict, while encouraging the international community to restrain America’s actions.”

In other words, Tehran can’t match Washington’s firepower. But it can spread chaos in the Middle East and around the world, hoping that a war-weary US public, an intervention-skeptical president, and an angered international community cause America to stand down.

That may seem like a huge task — and it is — but experts believe the Islamic Republic has the capability, knowhow, and will to pull off such an ambitious campaign. “The Iranians can escalate the situation in a lot of different ways and in a lot of different places,” Hanna told me. “They have the capacity to do a lot of damage.”

Take what it could do in the Middle East. Iran’s vast network of proxies and elite units — like Soleimani’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps — could be activated to kill American troops, diplomats, and citizens throughout the region. US troops in Syria are poorly defended and have little support, making them easy targets, experts say. America also has thousands of civilians, troops, and contractors in Iraq, many of whom work in areas near where Iranian militias operate within the country.

US allies would also be prime targets. Hezbollah, an Iran-backed terrorist group in Lebanon, might attack Israel with rockets and start its own brutal fight. We’ve heard this story before: In 2006, they battled in a month-long war where the militant group fired more than 4,000 rockets into Israel, and Israeli forces fired around 7,000 bombs and missiles into Lebanon.

About 160 Israelis troops and civilians died, according to the Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and about 1,100 Lebanese — most of them civilians — perished, per Human Rights Watch, a US-headquartered advocacy organization. It also reports about 4,400 Lebanese were injured, and around 1 million people were displaced.

But that’s not all. Iran could encourage terrorist organizations or other proxies to strike inside Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, and other Gulf nations. Last year, it planned and executed drone strikes on two major Saudi oil facilities deep inside the kingdom, convulsing world markets. Its support for Houthis rebels in Yemen would mostly certainly increase, offering them more weapons and funds to attack Saudi Arabia’s airports, military bases, and energy plants.

The US government on April 8, 2019, said it had designated the IRGC as a terrorist organization, marking the first time a US government has made such a designation on a foreign government’s organization.

Experts note that the Islamic Republic likely has sleeper cells in Europe and Latin America, and they could resurface in dramatic and violent ways. In 1994, for example, Iranian-linked terrorists bombed the hub of the Jewish community in Argentina’s capital, Buenos Aires, killing 85 people and injuring roughly 300 more.

That remains the largest terrorist attack in Latin America’s history, and the possibility for an even bigger one exists. In 2018, Argentina arrested two men suspected of having ties with Hezbollah.

But Chris Musselman, formerly the National Security Council’s counterterrorism director under Trump, told me the US and its allies may have the most trouble containing the proxy swarm in Western Africa.
“We could see a conflict that spread quickly to places the US may not be able to protect people, and it’s a fight that we are grossly unprepared for,” he said, adding that there’s a strong Hezbollah presence in the region and American embassy security there isn’t great. Making matters worse, he continued, the US isn’t particularly good at collecting intelligence there, meaning some militants could operate relatively under the radar.

“This isn’t really a law enforcement function that US can take on a global scale,” he said. It would require that countries unwittingly hosting proxies to lead on defeating the Iranian-linked fighters, with US support when needed.

The chaos would also extend into the cyber realm. Iran is a major threat to the US in cyberspace. Starting in 2011, Iran attacked more than 40 American banks, including JPMorgan Chase and Bank of America. The attack made it so the banks had trouble serving its customers and customers had trouble using the bank’s services.

In 2012, Iran released malware into the networks of Saudi Aramco, a major oil company, which erased documents, emails, and other files on around 75 percent of the company’s computers — replacing them with an image of a burning American flag.
In the middle of a war, one could imagine Tehran’s hackers wreaking even more havoc.

“I would expect them to have begun selected targeting through socially-engineered phishing activities focused on the oil and gas sector, the financial sector and the electric power grid in that order,” Stewart wrote. “There may be instances now where they already have some persistent access. If they do, I expect they would use it, or risk losing the access and employ that capability early in the escalation of the crisis.”

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:19

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Kesper North posted:

VNV Nation's most recent album is a very topical return to form

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z2h4vif7wk

I'm at home, my modular is on, there's a fresh pot of coffee brewing, and I absolutely must recreate the noise at the start.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:41

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

I know exactly what a US/Iran war would look like. You'd fly your awesome planes over for 6 months and they'd have buried every single thing and you'd have nothing to bomb. And they'd blow up every embassy in the western world, because why the gently caress not.

About 12 months later we'd all decide it was a horrible mistake. Because we're all literally that stupid.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:45

Kesper North: Nov 3, 2011; EMERGENCY POWER TO PARTY

EBB posted:

I'm at home, my modular is on, there's a fresh pot of coffee brewing, and I absolutely must recreate the noise at the start.

Ahhh, the Art of Noise. Carry on.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:47

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

They forgot.

https://twitter.com/DevlinBarrett/status/1213211105130098689?s=19

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:47

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

Hexyflexy posted:

I know exactly what a US/Iran war would look like. You'd fly your awesome planes over for 6 months and they'd have buried every single thing and you'd have nothing to bomb. And they'd blow up every embassy in the western world, because why the gently caress not.

About 12 months later we'd all decide it was a horrible mistake. Because we're all literally that stupid.

*12 years

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:48

colachute: Mar 15, 2015

Hexyflexy posted:

I know exactly what a US/Iran war would look like. You'd fly your awesome planes over for 6 months and they'd have buried every single thing and you'd have nothing to bomb. And they'd blow up every embassy in the western world, because why the gently caress not.

About 12 months later we'd all decide it was a horrible mistake. Because we're all literally that stupid.

And suddenly in a few years an Iranian person will commit an act of terror and people will say �wow I can�t believe it why do they hate our freedom�

And then refugees and immigrants* will get thrown into cages at a higher rate

*immigrant will henceforth be known as �anyone not white�

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:48

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

How hard do you think Trump was getting to say he "terminated" those guys?

Like, I can totally believe that fat orange fucker has been waiting almost four years to drop that.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:50

bulletsponge13: Apr 28, 2010

I have a legit question that I can't sort out myself.
If we really wanted to send a signal, why didn't we just snatch him up? He wasn't travelling incognito or anything, and it's not like we don't have dudes who specialize is snatching dudes from cars right there. Like, if we really wanted to gently caress Iran, wouldn't capturing him be a better long term strategy? I mean, for the thought exercise, pretend there is one, and it wasn't drawn on a map with Sharpie.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:55

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

https://twitter.com/oknox/status/1213219771178770432?s=21

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:55

fknlo: Jul 6, 2009; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/BaxtiyarGoran/status/1213231451132616705?s=20

We're killing more Iranian's.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 23:56

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

bulletsponge13 posted:

I have a legit question that I can't sort out myself.
If we really wanted to send a signal, why didn't we just snatch him up? He wasn't travelling incognito or anything, and it's not like we don't have dudes who specialize is snatching dudes from cars right there. Like, if we really wanted to gently caress Iran, wouldn't capturing him be a better long term strategy? I mean, for the thought exercise, pretend there is one, and it wasn't drawn on a map with Sharpie.

You could have done that (maybe, kind of), but it'd have required a shitload of marines and transport to take them out. I.e. probably just as dumb and bad. You can't just helicopter a general out of a country, it isn't going to go well. The local military suddenly have a reason to fire all their yearly budget of rounds off in your direction.

e: You basically die at that point.

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:08

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

fknlo posted:

https://twitter.com/BaxtiyarGoran/status/1213231451132616705?s=20

We're killing more Iranian's.

Trump showing all the restraint we expected him to.

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:11

colachute: Mar 15, 2015

I thought we neutralized the threat already

Were these brand new threats ?

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:13

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

They had thoughts that were contrary to Trump.

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:17

bulletsponge13: Apr 28, 2010

Hexyflexy posted:

You could have done that (maybe, kind of), but it'd have required a shitload of marines and transport to take them out. I.e. probably just as dumb and bad. You can't just helicopter a general out of a country, it isn't going to go well. The local military suddenly have a reason to fire all their yearly budget of rounds off in your direction.

e: You basically die at that point.

It wouldn't take a shitload of Marines. We literally have dudes who make their living snatching people from cars and getting the gently caress out of dodge.
I would imagine they could have had him on a bird and out of the country in 30 minutes from hit. It wouldn't need SSE- interdict, kill the guards, snatch the dudes- your at the airport- throw that gently caress on a 60, fly them to a waiting aircraft- boom. I'm sure it wouldn't be so simple and quick, but if you are going to risk a massive escalation, why not make it worth it in the long term?
Again. Maybe I'm just dumb- I just can't imagine this was a better strategic course of action than capturing him.

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:19

BigDave: Jul 14, 2009; Taste the High Country

ded posted:

They had thoughts that were contrary to Trump.

"Popeye's is so much better then KFC" *KABOOM*

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:19

colachute: Mar 15, 2015

bulletsponge13 posted:

It wouldn't take a shitload of Marines. We literally have dudes who make their living snatching people from cars and getting the gently caress out of dodge.
I would imagine they could have had him on a bird and out of the country in 30 minutes from hit. It wouldn't need SSE- interdict, kill the guards, snatch the dudes- your at the airport- throw that gently caress on a 60, fly them to a waiting aircraft- boom. I'm sure it wouldn't be so simple and quick, but if you are going to risk a massive escalation, why not make it worth it in the long term?
Again. Maybe I'm just dumb- I just can't imagine this was a better strategic course of action than capturing him.

You idiot how can we say we TERMINATED him unless we TERMINATE him you fool

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:22

BadOptics: Sep 11, 2012

colachute posted:

I thought we neutralized the threat already

Were these brand new threats ?

They must have forgotten about them, just like 9/11 apparently.

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:22

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

https://twitter.com/StratSentinel/status/1213236106151501824?s=19

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:22

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Looks like the post-hoc justification talking points are out. Everyone in the right wing propaganda machine is vomiting the phrase "imminent attack", so someone sent that out in an email somewhere.

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:23

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 05:23

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

Iraq is going to become the No Go Zone they keep telling me Minnesota is

# ? Jan 4, 2020 00:28

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