(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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bobtheconqueror posted:Grats on the 2020 goons. Y'all are good folks and deserve the best the world can give you. Me: Am I mostly annoying to be around while drunk? Br: Yes Me: would you talk with me rather than just grunting if I gave up drinking? Br: Yes *sound of bottles clanging* Me: Here's my beer. Know anyone who likes Miller High Life? Br: Yes, but could you put it outside in the cold? Me: gently caress off, it's your beer now. [I have an injury running from shoulder to hip, lifting my left arm is actively painful.] I should have quit drinking 15 years ago. This isn't a New Year's Resolution, it's a promise to myself.
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Jan 3, 2020 17:44
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| # ? May 23, 2024 21:19 |
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GWBBQ posted:I should have quit drinking 15 years ago. This isn't a New Year's Resolution, it's a promise to myself. good for you. Stick to it, you'll feel tons better once the craving washes out of your system. being an ex-alcoholic is so weird. you know Thing will make you feel awful and potentially kill you, but just the sight of Thing makes you salivate. I guess that's addiction in general but it's so bizarre when you stop and think about it. humans are wired weird and I want to talk to the manager of whoever put us together
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Jan 3, 2020 21:32
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Chokes McGee posted:good for you. Stick to it, you'll feel tons better once the craving washes out of your system. Also, my stress level is way the gently caress down since my mom is out of the hospital and looks and feels better than she has in months. On Monday she looked like a skeleton draped in skin (actual quote: "my boobs look like someone blew a bubble with gum and it popped") and now she looks like a real person again. Probably no solid food ever again, but I can handle everything to do with her feeding tube and I have a reason to get really loving good at making soup.
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Jan 4, 2020 04:55
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I've been having problems dealing with my own past. Not like making amends with people, that's all worked out for the most part. So I've been going back into LinkedIn to try to straighten out my career (I'm moving back to the white collar track, what happened a few weeks ago was more a mental breakdown than a major shift in my career plan) for the first time in a couple of years. This also means seeing what my old friends have been up to in their professional lives. While I've been loving around, rudderless and depressed for the last few years. It feels humiliating. I dont feel ready to face reality, or my mistakes. I've always been sensitive about my past, but now its getting to the point where I cant afford to keep running away. FWIW my next therapy appointment is in a couple of weeks, I think I'll bring it up then. But I'd also like to know what this thread thinks.
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Jan 5, 2020 17:04
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While measuring yourself against other people is the natural side effect of any sort of social media, I think LinkedIn is one of the worst for it. Please remember that it's where people have to put the most sanitized and hyperbolic versions of their professional lives in order to beg for the same opportunities and distinction as anyone else. It can be really tempting to try and measure yourself against your peers on LinkedIn but please don't let it hit you too hard. Everyone has different paths and NOBODY has as linear a career path as is presented on LinkedIn. edit: also therapy sounds wonderful. I'm not sure how to attach a file of a PDF on here but there is a list of cognitive distortions I find useful to look at when I'm feeling ashamed or depressed. I will try to find an online version.
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Jan 5, 2020 17:39
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I've found a bunch by searching GIS and Pinterest (weirdly enough) for "cognitive distortion handout."
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Jan 5, 2020 18:33
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cool dance moves posted:I've been having problems dealing with my own past. Not like making amends with people, that's all worked out for the most part. remember that just because they seem to have everything doesnt mean their life is happy. with those promotions and earnings come more long hours, more responsibilities, more stress sure, they still have advantages, but also their own unique set of problems. theyre not better than you and some may be secretly miserable from being high achievers. (I know I was) this doesnt mean anyone is better or worse than each other, so when you see that big list of accolades promotions and job history, know that doesnt mean their life is somehow worth more than yours.
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Jan 5, 2020 20:26
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does anyone know of any good art spaces online? was thinking of trying to do some art therapy on myself, but I think I need other people for it. I've written and deleted so many posts in this thread.
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Jan 6, 2020 01:00
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I cant speak for therapy art specifically, but the goons in The Creative Convention are very kind and understanding--maybe hit them up too and see if you can find anything there?
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Jan 6, 2020 01:38
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I hadn't looked at that part of the forums in years, thanks. I might have to post some of my garbage there. edit: wow, it's so much less serious than it used to be. I don't know about actual art therapy, art is just therapy for me. one of the few things that makes me happy no matter what. 138 has issued a correction as of 02:22 on Jan 6, 2020 |
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Jan 6, 2020 01:50
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138 posted:does anyone know of any good art spaces online? was thinking of trying to do some art therapy on myself, but I think I need other people for it. I've written and deleted so many posts in this thread. The Oversharing Goons discord which was made for goons with mental health concerns/stress/things in that vein has an art channel and it has a lot of people with. Then there's The Creative Convention which was already mentioned, and its associated discord, ArtCon Goons. Let me know if you want me to dig up invites to any of those. Aside from that I don't know anything about art therapy in particular, but I myself do digital art frequently and find it very beneficial for my mental health.
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Jan 6, 2020 03:01
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GlassLotus posted:The Oversharing Goons discord which was made for goons with mental health concerns/stress/things in that vein has an art channel and it has a lot of people with. Then there's The Creative Convention which was already mentioned, and its associated discord, ArtCon Goons. Let me know if you want me to dig up invites to any of those. I'll make a really lovely drawing for those discord invites.
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Jan 6, 2020 03:21
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138 posted:I'll make a really lovely drawing for those discord invites. Lol here you go. Artcon Goons: https://discord.gg/uGvatj Oversharing Goons: https://discord.gg/hb8ZxZ
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Jan 6, 2020 03:34
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GlassLotus posted:Lol here you go.  Good quality great photo
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Jan 6, 2020 04:15
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I had a really good day today
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Jan 6, 2020 04:46
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Consummate Professional posted:I had a really good day today  That's awesome
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Jan 6, 2020 06:07
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one of our dogs just got diagnosed with a fast growing cancer. it's a bummer, but she's 10, which is right in the wheelhouse for life expectancy for a shepherd. still, sucks to learn about it at work because the news is absolutely devastating for my wife and i wish i could be there for her. thanks for letting me vent
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Jan 6, 2020 17:37
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Eat This Glob posted:one of our dogs just got diagnosed with a fast growing cancer. it's a bummer, but she's 10, which is right in the wheelhouse for life expectancy for a shepherd. still, sucks to learn about it at work because the news is absolutely devastating for my wife and i wish i could be there for her. thanks for letting me vent that's too bad. i'm going to be v sad when my dog dies or gets to it. dogs are basically modern walking cancerous incubators with how hosed up even mutts n everything. and your choice is spend $20,000 on treatment that may or may not give another year at best, or kill them because you can't afford it and their lives are spiraling into misery. not fun choices
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Jan 6, 2020 18:36
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Yeah, my wife is adamant about not doing major surgery on an old dog that will be in tremendous pain and not understand why. So I'm grateful for that. She has a littermate brother who is going to be in as much grief as we are, which sucks. I'd always assumed he'd go first as he's quite a bit bigger, but cancer doesnt give a gently caress
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Jan 6, 2020 19:53
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It took me several years to finally accept the death of our youngest cat (1yr old, to FIPS) without raging against the universe about how a sweet, brilliant little kitty gets one year of life and fuckhats like trump keep going past 80 even though they literally have no grey matter in their skulls anymore. I still don't understand why poo poo like that happens in this world, but what I have done is realized the time we spent together in happiness is far more important than the time we spent at the end in grief. Enjoy what time you have left, definitely take the time to grieve, but remember: you two have happy memories together. Whatever the fairness of his passing, there's nothing that can undo that.
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Jan 6, 2020 22:15
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you've given that doggie a wonderful 10 years of life, thats joy the world needs you to remember
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Jan 6, 2020 22:38
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what kind of anxiety/depression mixture causes compulsive plucking of facial hair any time my fingers are idle and how do i stop feeling this because im developing bald patches in my fuckibg beard and its just adding on to the poo poo pile of emotional volatility that i am and i really need to be better for my infant sons sake but i really feel like im failing him and my wife in enormous ways lately and im just so sunken and feeling like me being dead would be better for all involved gently caress GODDAMN even though i know that aint true goddamn man just want to scream but that poo poo is caught in a painful knot in my throat ahh thanks for listening
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Jan 7, 2020 04:13
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new kind of cat posted:what kind of anxiety/depression mixture causes compulsive plucking of facial hair any time my fingers are idle and how do i stop feeling this because im developing bald patches in my fuckibg beard and its just adding on to the poo poo pile of emotional volatility that i am and i really need to be better for my infant sons sake but i really feel like im failing him and my wife in enormous ways lately and im just so sunken and feeling like me being dead would be better for all involved gently caress GODDAMN even though i know that aint true goddamn man just want to scream but that poo poo is caught in a painful knot in my throat ahh All kinds. It sounds like you could really benefit from talking to a professional. Are you able to do that right now? Also there's nothing wrong with punching a pillow or going into the woods and screaming as a healthy release valve.
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Jan 7, 2020 04:25
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Would one of those fidget devices help? Gives your fingers something to do.
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Jan 7, 2020 04:40
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new kind of cat posted:what kind of anxiety/depression mixture causes compulsive plucking of facial hair any time my fingers are idle and how do i stop feeling this because im developing bald patches in my fuckibg beard and its just adding on to the poo poo pile of emotional volatility that i am and i really need to be better for my infant sons sake but i really feel like im failing him and my wife in enormous ways lately and im just so sunken and feeling like me being dead would be better for all involved gently caress GODDAMN even though i know that aint true goddamn man just want to scream but that poo poo is caught in a painful knot in my throat ahh
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Jan 7, 2020 04:43
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i had a fidget cube that was helping for a while but i didnt always remember to keep it on my person and then my infant son destroyed it lol the persistent malaise has me not bothering to replace it. my health insurance from my [finally] non-temp position kicks in at the end of this month and i have every intention of talking to my doctor about this poo poo. id really like to see a therapist but i dont think my plan offers a robust enough coverage for what i would need. this is all assuming i dont lose the job in the meantime because lol they hired a bunch of people for this department and theres no fuckibg work for anyone to do my boss literally said it was one of those use the remainder of your budget or it shrinks next year bits. so theres a vast feeling of emptiness and non-fulfillment there, never mind the constant anxiety from being absolutely undoubtedly useless and more expendable than the baseline for the usual corporate bullshit i appreciate you all for your input and thank you for this thread because howling in the trump thread is not really cutting it these days for how deeply emotionally hosed i am feeling. january really hits me hard, every year
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Jan 7, 2020 05:33
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new kind of cat posted:what kind of anxiety/depression mixture causes compulsive plucking of facial hair any time my fingers are idle and how do i stop feeling this because i’m developing bald patches in my fuckibg beard and it’s just adding on to the poo poo pile of emotional volatility that i am and i really need to be better for my infant sons sake but i really feel like i’m failing him and my wife in enormous ways lately and i’m just so sunken and feeling like me being dead would be better for all involved gently caress GODDAMN even though i know that ain’t true goddamn man just want to scream but that poo poo is caught in a painful knot in my throat ahh Oh hi yes this is me About a year or two ago I got a bald spot on the back of my head that was about tennis ball sized and it was because I was constantly plucking or otherwise messing with the hair there. A lot was subconscious stuff and I would realise and pull away my hand and oh poo poo hair but some of it was in a weird mental area where I was vaguely aware of it but felt compelled to do so anyway, and weirdly calmed by doing it despite really not wanting a big loving bald patch in a weird area. So I went to the doctor and they said it was trichotillomania and it was probably due to high levels of stress but sometimes people just seemingly develop it anyway. All they could offer was drugs I have already tried and a long wait for more therapy. I used a fidget cube thing for a bit (several actually as I kept losing track of them) and that was surprisingly helpful and a key thing was talking with my wife and kids so if they noticed me doing it they could point it out. I worked on my stress levels too, and today my hair is thick, and strong. And I constantly battle against not picking at what used to be a spot on my jaw but is now just scar tissue, but it's a lot smaller and not noticeable. When you said about feeling like you are letting down your kids and wife, I got that hard because my head does the same when I'm really depressed- like a preset script that depression can just flick on and I spiral right into it and it's hard to climb out while my brain shows me other highlights like "why aren't you a success like your siblings" and "every time you hosed up, the early years". You feel need to scream? Grab a heap of pillows and scream into them. Hell, my aunt used to walk outside into the back garden and just scream and eventually the neighborhood just got used to it. You ever need to talk about stuff and don't have an outlet get your arse in this thread and let rip because comrade, we got each others backs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdawZhRdDKM Keep on keeping on goon. I'm gonna go feed some birds.
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Jan 7, 2020 08:31
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Chronic pain is really wearing me down to nothing
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Jan 7, 2020 17:08
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Siljmonster posted:Chronic pain is really wearing me down to nothing I would offer a solidarity fist bump but my hands are still swollen and stiff.
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Jan 7, 2020 17:55
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I'm on my second day back at work after a long break over the holidays and I just feel alternatively empty and despondent. probably just need to ease back into having my time monopolized by a job that does no good for anyone except me and my wife and i can get back to normal - feeling angry
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Jan 7, 2020 17:56
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and yes, i do appreciate the fact that I a) had paid time off and b) have a job to go to, but I'm just feeling hollow today
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Jan 7, 2020 17:57
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Eat This Glob posted:I'm on my second day back at work after a long break over the holidays and I just feel alternatively empty and despondent. probably just need to ease back into having my time monopolized by a job that does no good for anyone except me and my wife and i can get back to normal - feeling angry Eat This Glob posted:and yes, i do appreciate the fact that I a) had paid time off and b) have a job to go to, but I'm just feeling hollow today  I'm working from home today, actually, since I get to do that once a week, but for some reason today that's just highlighting how many other things I'd rather be doing then this seemingly endless task of processing documents, answering emails about documents, then processing them again, and then discovering that while document x was finally getting done, documents y and z just showed up and need to be done too oh boy! grad school was so much better. on the one hand i'm super privileged for getting a paid two weeks off (academic calendar) but on the other hand I only make $25k a year and I have to spend eight hours a day in a windowless room (except wednesdays)
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Jan 7, 2020 19:26
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Eat This Glob posted:and yes, i do appreciate the fact that I a) had paid time off and b) have a job to go to, but I'm just feeling hollow today modern living is hollowing us all stay strong comrade
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Jan 7, 2020 19:27
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Sympathies and solidarity to fellow face-pickers, and chronic pain havers.
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Jan 7, 2020 23:13
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not sure why colds always flare up my anxiety but good lord 
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Jan 8, 2020 00:21
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PsychedelicWarlord posted:not sure why colds always flare up my anxiety but good lord At least in my case, anxiety flare-ups are always tied to a physical sensation that occurs first - my body falls into an anxious state long before my brain does, and physical sensations that mimic those of anxiety can trigger anxious feelings. Stomach discomfort especially, but any kind of labored breathing and congestion like that caused by a cold or if I'm hella dried out after smoking some weed. Realizing that helped me get a lot of my smaller anxieties under control, actually. It's something I discovered during yoga practice, because it put me in the state of thinking about how my physical body relates to my state of mind, and gave me the tools to examine those feelings as I was observing them rather than just "being anxious." I found also that I could bring myself out of a coming anxiety by controlling my physical sensations - slowing down my breathing to a rhythmic in-and-out slowed my heart rate and gave me something concrete to focus on that kept my thoughts from racing. So much of our mental state is directly related to our physical state, which makes sense in light of the realization that the separation between my mind and my body is much fuzzier than the language we possess to describe it. There is no point where any individual nerve is not directly connected to the brain, and vice versa.
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Jan 8, 2020 00:40
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Chronic pain haver here, the one person who does the same job ad me is on leave for three weeks and my hands are on fire after day one. Also wtf is going on with the forum
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Jan 8, 2020 08:36
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I posted about some of this in E/N last year, but I didn't know this thread existed. I'm having real trouble with the state of the world right now, both because of it (the world), and some stuff that has happened in my personal life. I have suffered from depression and anxiety on and off since childhood, and previously was seeing a psychiatrist for it, thought not now. For the past few years I have been more or less functional, not perfect, but not staying up for days anxious or being unable to work, etc. Last year an aunt I was really close to was diagnoses with kidney cancer in May, and she was dead by September. The speed really shocked me and left me reeling, and put me into a state of fractured sleep and up and down feelings of stress. Then in December, a friend of mine from work committed suicide. He'd been gone for a few months from work, i had tried to reach out in September for his B-day but had not heard back. He was my age, 31. I'm getting these waves of sadness and this persistent thought about how stupid and pointless everything is, why even bother trying so hard if it all just ended up like that. I'm still going to work, but god is it hard most days. And I think about all the poo poo going on, everything coming in the future, and I just want it to stop, you know. I'm tired of thinking and worrying and having to exist in it. I'm not in a crisis point yet, but I feel like I might be heading for one. I'm very wary about starting up therapy again, partially for the cost as I would only be partially covered by my plan, but also because I have had bad experiences in the past, and the thought of sitting down and opening up feels so overwhelmingly scary.
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Jan 8, 2020 13:41
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I'm very sorry to hear about your aunt. Capitalism has separated us from the tools of processing grief that we've used for thousands of years and now we are cold and alone and are just starting to figure out how to reacquire those tools. Secondly all of your thoughts and feelings are totally founded and in many ways healthy. They are proof of your love for your aunt and your wanting the world to be better and to exist in it without so much pain and fear. But, it will take some time really sitting with those "negative" feelings and not pushing them away to process your aunt's quick death as well as your place in this world, and your purpose. If you're suicidal, or feel you could be, all of this should be done with the help of a professional. Armchairing here but you probably have had those feelings towards the world and your place in it for a very long time, were able to push them down, and your aunt's death has forced them to resurface. She has given you a gift, reminding you to reexamine your life so that you can be fulfilled and maybe even happy. I'm very sorry you've had bad experiences in the past with therapy. Sometimes it takes a couple tries to find the right therapist, I recently terminated mine and am starting to look for a new one (a healthy process I've done on and off for a decade). Also many therapists slide so it should be doable to find something in your price range. Psychologytoday.com lets you sort by modality, theory, cost, etc. Feel free to PM me or ask here if you have any questions about finding a therapist. It's scary but really beneficial. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 06:07 on Jan 9, 2020 |
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Jan 8, 2020 16:25
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The job hunt is continuing and it's still enormously draining, especially as I get a couple interviews and hawkishly hover over my phone waiting for a followup that's never coming. But that's only part of what's gotten me down lately. A lot of my depression and anxiety is tied to my lack of financial independence, having to rely on others, borrowing money, etc. This last job I had that i eventually quit was the first time in my life that I actually felt in control of my own finances and my ability to treat others, help people, and return favors, as well as just plain being able to not worry about how I'm going to afford food or public transit. But then every once in a while I see median/mean income statistics and I just get incredibly jealous and spiteful. My best paying job was a lovely contract gig that was constantly breaking my rear end and I was taking home barely 14k, living in Chicago. where are these average americans making triple that? What are they even doing with it? Even taking into account how underreporting of the gig economy has skewed those stats, it's wild to me thinking of the "average" household having more than triple my net worth while I sit here praying that nothing I own breaks because I would have no way to replace anything. I'm constantly on the cliff and it's exhausting. I would love to be even halfway between what I can make now and that mean income stat; it would be a life changing amount of money for me.
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Jan 9, 2020 03:41
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