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A Bakers Cousin
Dec 18, 2003

by vyelkin

Bart - SCROTUS posted:

i can't believe we're going through all this just so he could own his wife who wanted world peace

Guess she learned what happens to people who tell their new years resolution outloud

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Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018
Women are wonderful animals, they should be making music and writing novels about having a complex relationship with your mother.

sportsgenius86 posted:

are you unfamiliar with government workers?

Aren't they troops? I thought our troops were tough and strong and protected us from the bad guys

kaleedity
Feb 27, 2016



Apraxin posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/Max_Fisher/status/1214700017774202881
the handsome generals smile as the report comes in that the troops at al Asad were all safe in their fortified bunkers when the missiles hit. perhaps the worst has passed. perhaps now, against the odds, there is a chance to deescalate before we hit the point of no return. they grin at each other hopefully.

elsewhere, president donald trump picks up his phone. I HEREBY DECLARE he begins typing

ballistic peace missiles

Crusader
Apr 11, 2002

at an anti-war meeting and the book we’re using under the sign in sheet is a time-life wwii volume

frown

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
infrastructure week is back, folks!

Godlessdonut
Sep 13, 2005

pathetic little tramp posted:

people are all "man when the nukes start flying let's play the lord's prayer or we'll meet again" but this is the true "nuclear war will obliterate humanity" song to listen to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNlA1_HY-Lg

Unironically a nice song. :unsmith:

fits my needs
Jan 1, 2011

Grimey Drawer

whatis posted:

little known fact: the guy that carries the nuclear football is the same guy that follows the stanley cup around

who the gently caress is stanley

Atoramos
Aug 31, 2003

Jim's now a Blind Cave Salamander!


UFOTacoMan posted:

My suggestion was quite simple: Put that needed code number in a little capsule, and then implant that capsule right next to the heart of a volunteer. The volunteer would carry with him a big, heavy butcher knife as he accompanied the President. If ever the President wanted to fire nuclear weapons, the only way he could do so would be for him first, with his own hands, to kill one human being. The President says, "George, I'm sorry but tens of millions must die." He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It's reality brought home.

When I suggested this to friends in the Pentagon they said, "My God, that's terrible. Having to kill someone would distort the President's judgment. He might never push the button."

Twitter in one hand, burger in the other, Trump turns to the chosen man and eyes the butcher knife.

meanolmrcloud
Apr 5, 2004

rock out with your stock out

the only way trump uses nukes: stock market crashes, Iran proves to be a dangerous enemy, war goes poorly => nuke

TeenageArchipelago
Jul 23, 2013


Asproigerosis posted:

pelosi will absolutely have war were declared on mcconnells desk by friday

she did vote against the Iraq war. she also refused to impeach Bush over it, despite knowing that it was started on lies, but still

A Gnarlacious Bro
Apr 25, 2007

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Fallen Hamprince posted:

ugh warmonger dems at it again. thank god trump has ended the forever war

Here to gloat you freak

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc

Joementum posted:

trump needs to de-escalate


Stefan Prodan
Jan 7, 2002

I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!


Grimey Drawer
anyway this is the real nuclear war soundtrack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsPrINajncU

Woodchip
Mar 28, 2010

Joementum posted:

trump needs to de-escalate


Gringostar
Nov 12, 2016
Morbid Hound

Dick Milhous Rock! posted:

if this doesn't do it then one of the ships they'll park to launch cruise missles at iran being blown up probably will

i hope iran at least bags a carrier before the get nuked

Augus
Mar 9, 2015


even if not a single person was even slightly scratched by the bombings we would still go to war over this because we are morons

Doorknob Slobber
Sep 10, 2006

by Fluffdaddy
god i hope this is the prelude to the most hardcore anti-war movement since people were blowing poo poo up to protest vietnam

fits my needs
Jan 1, 2011

Grimey Drawer

TeenageArchipelago posted:

she did vote against the Iraq war. she also refused to impeach Bush over it, despite knowing that it was started on lies, but still

ah, nevertheless

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018
Women are wonderful animals, they should be making music and writing novels about having a complex relationship with your mother.

kaleedity posted:

1-2 inches of snow were forecast today, they were told to shut down all offices in the dc area and head home hours early

everyone in charge thinks the iranian military is some angsty old dude in a garage making a bomb out of nails

Oh it's a snow day. The army had a snow day.

Inspector Hound
Jul 14, 2003

Pancakes posted:

18 USC 2381:

"Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States."

The wages of treason are DEATH or a $10000 fine

Nonsense
Jan 26, 2007

LMAO @ Iran

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

CNN lady is saying she’s been made aware of casualties but they’re Iraqi

Stevie Lee
Oct 8, 2007

Stefan Prodan posted:

anyway this is the real nuclear war soundtrack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsPrINajncU

if they push that button

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


extremely low energy thread title

GrimGypsy
Mar 27, 2007

Oh no boo hoo not the volunteer stormtroopers and contractor ghouls please keep them safe

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Joementum posted:

trump needs to de-escalate



:smugdon:

Inspector Hound
Jul 14, 2003

sportsgenius86 posted:

CNN lady is saying she’s been made aware of casualties but they’re Iraqi

That's no reason not to trust the CNN lady

Der Meister
May 12, 2001

Doorknob Slobber posted:

god i hope this is the prelude to the most hardcore anti-war movement since people were blowing poo poo up to protest vietnam

maybe it’ll be as successful as occupy

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc
https://twitter.com/tparsi/status/1214694006267023361

stuffed crust punk
Oct 8, 2004

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
what were yall doing when the last forever war started? i was building my first true posting rig in high school, watching the tanks roll in on tv

none of those tanks have left lol

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000



Ultra Carp

UFOTacoMan posted:

My suggestion was quite simple: Put that needed code number in a little capsule, and then implant that capsule right next to the heart of a volunteer. The volunteer would carry with him a big, heavy butcher knife as he accompanied the President. If ever the President wanted to fire nuclear weapons, the only way he could do so would be for him first, with his own hands, to kill one human being. The President says, "George, I'm sorry but tens of millions must die." He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It's reality brought home.

When I suggested this to friends in the Pentagon they said, "My God, that's terrible. Having to kill someone would distort the President's judgment. He might never push the button."

— Roger Fisher, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, March 1981

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Fisher_(academic)

I wrote a spec script based on this. It's a horror movie where the american people elected a demented, senile, drug addled madman to office. He wants to launch the nukes but he forgot who has the code number in their chest, so he just slasher films his way through the whole cabinet full of his appointed liars, billionaires, fascists and sexy blondes

edit: It's pretty unrealistic cause the president is in good enough shape to catch people

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

FIRE ZEE MIZZZLES

logikv9
Mar 5, 2009


Ham Wrangler
lol trump wanted a war and he gets it

trump 2024

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

Inspector Hound posted:

That's no reason not to trust the CNN lady

it’s their person on the ground in Iraq fwiw

Fallen Hamprince
Nov 12, 2016

A Gnarlacious Bro posted:

Here to gloat you freak

oh cool! the fart fetish guy has taken a break from his busy schedule of trying to surreptitiously toot on his female coworkers feet to crow about his forums enemies being defeated and endlessly do the your mad but im not rutine again. nice

Inspector Hound
Jul 14, 2003

Der Meister posted:

maybe it’ll be as successful as occupy

We have not been great at occupying at or in really any scale or context

Stefan Prodan
Jan 7, 2002

I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!


Grimey Drawer

Stevie Lee posted:

if they push that button

goodbye rear end

Plinkey
Aug 4, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006



https://mobile.twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/1214704619928084480

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RoyKeen
Jul 24, 2007

Grimey Drawer
https://twitter.com/Intel_Sky/status/1213593313611337729

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