C.M. Kruger posted:

Found it:
https://dogpatch.press/2018/08/06/review-red-engines/


The statement from the publisher was essentially that only a couple people read it beforehand due to having a small staff and they "lacked the proper perspective."

chitoryu12 posted:

I think I might actually put my Twilight thread on a brief hiatus after Eclipse to do these Phineas Poe books. I'm 31 pages in and so far it hasn't let up. Every page manages to be the same baffling edgy poo poo, like a teenage goth played Max Payne and decided to write a fanfic. There's somehow 3 of these and they were a major inspiration for a musician whose career tanked after he got revealed to have a sex cult.

chitoryu12 posted:

I just bought Kiss Me Judas, the first installment of the Phineas Poe series, and it’s almost painfully bad. It’s about a former cop who ends up in a mental hospital while investigating the Denver PD Internal Affairs, and on his first day out a prostitute roofies him and replaces his kidney with a bag of heroin. The entire book seems to be written like this:

Senior Woodchuck posted:

Raise your hand if you wrote Final Fantasy VI fanfic and turned it in as a high school class assignment.

*raises hand*

chitoryu12 posted:

chitoryu12 posted:

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

I'm imagining all these characters trapped in your e-reader with noted alcoholic thug James Bond

Captain Monkey posted:

The skin of her belly is transparent?

Lemme get all up in them guys *points to the lower colon visibly pulsating above the hem of the miniskirt*

Sagebrush posted:

does anyone have that quote where the character is having sex with a virgin and describes something like a "soft snapping sound like a balloon breaking"

i think i threw up a little writing that but i need to send it to someone

quote:

“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.

quote:

He was aware that she was making a mewling sound as he put his lips to her tightened nipple and sucked. Her mouth was at his ear, her tongue travelling along its grooves, voice filling it. His mouth tugged at her, extended her, she snapped back, there was a taste of something on his tongue. In his mind he pictured her neck, her long neck, her swan’s neck, her Alice in Wonderland neck coiling like a serpent, like a serpent, coiling down on him. She had found a way through his clothing and her fingers had lightly touched his cock, then slowly began to take a firmer hold. He wanted to cry like a baby. He felt helpless, as though his body had come undone and she was fastening it. He felt as though he was bleeding somewhere. Then he felt powerful, gigantic. He would have kicked a door down.

quote:

I hear footsteps and stand up thinking it’s Tony, but from around the corner steps and guy a large grey overcoat. He has menacing eyes. He walks straight up to me and pulls out a gun.

This is it. I’ve lived a meaningless life, a shining turd of an existence. I went to school to educate myself with the intention to better the world through an understanding of physics and philosophy, but ended up surrounding myself with people who would rather piss on my grave than help me achieve anything decent. I haven’t attributed anything to society thus far, and now I am going to expire, nameless and spun out on embalming fluid!? gently caress me.

He points the gun directly between my eyes. It’s a Ruger Nine Millimeter, a military issued P Series, semi-automatic with a black pistol grip, stainless steel slide and ejector. I’ve used one of these before; it packs a nice little punch. I can see his finger on the trigger, stationary; I can tell he wants to pull it. His index finger the hard cock, the bullet sperm, and my eye socket is the wet vagina that is about to be annihilated. I’m about to get hosed in the face by a hollow point and there’s not a god damned thing I can do about it.

quote:

I can see a dark figure coming towards us. Light footsteps rapidly approaching. Dressed in black. White hair. I drop to my knees and out of the line of his Ruger just as he senses the intrusion and circles around. BANG. The gunshot echoes into the night. My break with reality is complete. The hallucination is real. My life is just one long horrifying dream.

The back of his head explodes like a watermelon being hit by a freight train. My executioner falls straight onto his back, a bullet hole in his forehead sprinkled lightly with blood and it’s smoking, just like in the movies. I can smell copper seeping onto the concrete around him and I am in complete shock. The figure comes closer. I am sober now, like a monk in a monastery. All I feel is adrenaline and the power of reality smashing my face into the dawn breaking tide.

“We should get out of here. The sun is going to be up soon and I’m pretty sure the whole city heard that,” she says.

“Are you an angel?”

“Come on, you don’t believe in that sort of stuff do you?” She says with a slight smile.

My voice breaks, “I suppose that an experience like that could make me believe just about anything.”

She grabs me by the collar and helps me to my feet. I catch her scent and my dick gets hard. The right chemicals will do that sometimes, regardless of the circumstances surrounding you. She doesn’t notice. I breathe a sigh of relief and we walk briskly through the blue hour.

chitoryu12 posted:

So I think I've got my plans decided. Once I finish Eclipse, I want to do two threads. The first will be for the Phineas Poe novels because they seem unusually popular for stuff with such horrendous writing, but I also want to do one on William Control.

chitoryu12 posted:

So I think I've got my plans decided. Once I finish Eclipse, I want to do two threads. The first will be for the Phineas Poe novels because they seem unusually popular for stuff with such horrendous writing, but I also want to do one on William Control. He was an artist I listened to before all his sex cult poo poo came out, and he ended up turning his initial concept for the songs into a book series, The Revelator trilogy. After reading the first chapter and relistening to his music with more attention paid to the lyrics, it paints a really gross portrait of a hosed up dude who utilized his fame to manipulate and abuse young women and used his music as a way to put his most terrifying desires out into the world without anyone noticing. He comes up because he's a huge fan of the Phineas Poe books and not only named a song after the first one, but made a music video for another song based on the kidney stealing.

He posted the first chapter of the first book, The Neuromancer, on his website. It's not great, and it even directly quotes a bunch of his tracks.

Zamboni Rodeo posted:

Oh, please tell me you've got Jay Bonansinga's Lucid somewhere in your queue. I've been waiting for that one.

chitoryu12 posted:

Ah, at this point in the book Will has an unwanted erection during a conversation, so he closes his eyes and thinks about the Holocaust to get rid of it.

CommissarMega posted:

Well, what do YOU do to get rid of an unwanted erection, huh?

CommissarMega posted:

Well, what do YOU do to get rid of an unwanted erection, huh?

DONT TOUCH THE PC posted:

I like how you linked to a wiki page where the editors think that it's only a minor footnote that the guy has been accused of starting an underage sex cult.
You'd think that was a bigger deal than his release of an EP in 2019.

Knowing Wikipedia that page is the fiefdom of a fan who wants to keep that poo poo out of the public eye as much as possible.

Elviscat posted:

Publishing companies are complicit too

chitoryu12 posted:

Okinawa Jones, Terror of Hirohito

Neal Stephenson posted:

“Mines are supposed to be below ground, I’d thought,” Jones continued.
“Aren’t you a graduate of the Colorado School of Mines?” Zula asked.
Jones, for once, looked a bit sheepish. “They should probably change the name. It’s not just about that. I only went there to learn how to blow things up.”

The_White_Crane posted:

Ah, reminds me of the villain of Reamde the mad Welsh Muslim terrorist Abdallah Jones.

HopperUK posted:

I don't think I've ever seen that actually happen before! Good shout, Literally A Bird

Ugly In The Morning posted:

God Reamde was such a terrible book. I finished it out of spite, I wasn't going to let that book beat me.

The_White_Crane posted:

I actually enjoyed it. It was terrible, but it was terrible in a way I found rather appealing.
Like, it was as though someone took two or possibly three different cheap airport thriller paperbacks and mashed them into one another like a kid playing with dolls, shouting "KABOOM, POW!"

It's one of those books I'd never recommend to anyone, but at the same time I'll probably re-read it some time when I'm on holiday and want something dumb to turn my brain off with.

TheKennedys posted:

I missed the "poo poo you wrote as a kid" derail by a couple pages but unlike most of you nerds far more normal people than me, I've kept my childhood magnum opus obsessively for almost 30 years

I was eleven and it is based very specifically on the Fox Peter Pan and the Pirates show, NOT the heathen Disney version which I liked considerably less at that point, probably because Tim Curry chewed the gently caress outta some scenery on that show and owned. It is extremely 1992 but surprisingly well written for a sixth grader and comes in at 100+ pages, probably 75% being actual writing. Every new character is blatantly ripped off of something I was reading or watching, or is an expy of a friend. To call it embarrassing is a hilarious understatement. Mostly it added girls that weren't Wendy, a Mary Sue author insert, and ultimately killed Peter in the end.






the illustrations were painstakingly traced from Beauty and the Beast and/or Little Mermaid by my friend Nicole, who got a slightly mean-spirited Mary Sue character in exchange

The_White_Crane posted:

I actually enjoyed it. It was terrible, but it was terrible in a way I found rather appealing.
Like, it was as though someone took two or possibly three different cheap airport thriller paperbacks and mashed them into one another like a kid playing with dolls, shouting "KABOOM, POW!"

It's one of those books I'd never recommend to anyone, but at the same time I'll probably re-read it some time when I'm on holiday and want something dumb to turn my brain off with.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

See, that’s why I hated it so much- not that I mind a mashup of concepts in principle. The thing was, I was more invested in goddamn behind the scenes MMORPG dev drama than I was a globetrotting terrorist hunt.

Qwertycoatl posted:

Same, the MMORPG stuff was better (except for the pages about how amazingly overpowered his dev account character was, that was terrible). It felt like there a bunch of interesting directions it could have gone in if the whole thing hadn't become completely irrelevant partway through the book.