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We also had scenes like Tony at the casino with Furio that didn't show a gambling problem per se but was behavior which out of control is a problem.
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Jan 27, 2020 00:18
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Honestly the Gambling is fine it gets set up in the background, and Chris has wanted to do show business poo poo since season one so Cleaver isnt really forced either. Vito being gay at least was hinted / exposed in an earlier season by Finn before it becomes a plot point. Paulie being such a mamma's boy despite being awful and getting rug pulled out from under him is at least plausible. Even the "Love" Triangle at least builds off Tony wanting to gently caress Adrianna earlier so him and Chris being after the same lady also is at least plausible. Its has to be Buscemi showing up with so little mention before he is there. Jack2142 fucked around with this message at 23:26 on Jan 27, 2020 |
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Jan 27, 2020 23:23
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I think the fact that he gambles already makes it more jarring. It's like if Tony became Frank Gallagher for one episode.
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Jan 28, 2020 19:19
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Stolen from another thread https://twitter.com/jeremysmiles/st...er%3D182%23pti7
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Jan 28, 2020 19:22
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I really like the scene where poor Finn has to give evidence to the mobsters. Most of my favourite scenes in the show involve an outsider coming up against the workings of the mob. I really love how Gandolfini played the line where he tells him to go and get a sandwich. That would have been a throwaway line for so many actors but it's like Tony is talking to a little kid in maybe the 1960s. Go get a soda and a sandwich, any kind ya like  Golly gosh Mr Soprano any sandwich just for me?!?! And what he's just said will lead to a man's death lol
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Jan 28, 2020 20:48
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And it essentially scares Finn off for good. Meadow picks Patrick Parisi after that, and I have to wonder - is it because she believed any "outsider" would eventually follow in Finn's footsteps? So the only way she can ensure her mob roots are not going to affect her relationship is to date someone else who grew up like her? Someone who is desensitized. I dunno, just spitballing.
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Jan 28, 2020 21:02
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Isn’t Patrick Parisi in law school too? He’s still going to end up a mob lawyer, but he has that air of plausible deniability around him that Meadow loves to flirt with throughout the whole series.
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Jan 28, 2020 21:07
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As I pointed out earlier in the thread, Meadow basically gaslights Finn for at least a year over what happened with Vito. And she continues to obfuscate when he lays it all out for her in brutal detail.
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Jan 28, 2020 21:09
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Pope Corky the IX posted:As I pointed out earlier in the thread, Meadow basically gaslights Finn for at least a year over what happened with Vito. And she continues to obfuscate when he lays it all out for her in brutal detail. Does she gaslight him or does she not actually believe him until the corroboration comes around? I'm unclear on that. ruddiger posted:Isn’t Patrick Parisi in law school too? He’s still going to end up a mob lawyer, but he has that air of plausible deniability around him that Meadow loves to flirt with throughout the whole series. Yes
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Jan 28, 2020 21:19
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escape artist posted:Does she gaslight him or does she not actually believe him until the corroboration comes around? I'm unclear on that. Her reaction when she hears about Vito I think shows that she isn't surprised in the least and already assumed that he was gay based on Finn's story.
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Jan 28, 2020 22:39
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Basebf555 posted:Her reaction when she hears about Vito I think shows that she isn't surprised in the least and already assumed that he was gay based on Finn's story. Yeah, you're right.
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Jan 29, 2020 00:06
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ruddiger posted:Isn’t Patrick Parisi in law school too? He’s still going to end up a mob lawyer, but he has that air of plausible deniability around him that Meadow loves to flirt with throughout the whole series. I always liked the subtle retcon that the Patrick Meadow is sneaking out to see in the pilot (or at least season one) is Patsy's kid, which really kind of brings things back full circle for her.
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Jan 29, 2020 00:40
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Watching the next episode Luxury Lounge, and it strikes me that you could put together like 8 or 10 episodes from across the whole series just centering on Artie's story and that would be like a really good t.v. show on it's own.
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Jan 30, 2020 01:23
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Artie, of course, has to push things too far, but I absolutely adored Benny getting a taste of the other side of the equation when he's forced to swallow his pride and take his parents to Vesuvio's for their anniversary dinner. I like how you can see that Artie is at risk of falling back into old habits in spite of having bucked the odds and actually rebuilding his marriage. The scene in the bar where he's wistfully talking about how Tony could gently caress any of the strippers there if he wanted to (as if that was a good thing) is just sad in such a pathetic adolescent wish-fulfillment way. I'll try to have the write-up done by tomorrow, time has a way of getting away from me recently.
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Jan 30, 2020 01:32
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I love Artie as a character and mostly view him as a victim who's trying really loving hard not be one.
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Jan 30, 2020 02:19
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Nah Artie inserts himself in everything dumb that happens to him outside the arson. Tony doesn’t really try and involve him in anything because he realizes he’s an idiot
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Jan 30, 2020 02:41
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Added a link to the writeups at the top of the first post, so new readers can jump to Jerusalem's recaps. Thanks again for doing those, Jerusalem!
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Jan 30, 2020 02:58
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Thanks for doing that! 
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Jan 30, 2020 03:03
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CharlestheHammer posted:Nah Artie inserts himself in everything dumb that happens to him outside the arson. Tony doesn’t really try and involve him in anything because he realizes he’s an idiot Yeah pretty much everything that happens to Artie is him trying to be more than he is. He has a good wife, family, business. He throws it away trying to rise above himself into a world he knows but does not understand.
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Jan 30, 2020 04:11
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Artie’s such a funzanoon.
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Jan 30, 2020 05:35
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Ishamael posted:Added a link to the writeups at the top of the first post, so new readers can jump to Jerusalem's recaps. Thanks again for doing those, Jerusalem!
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Jan 30, 2020 06:34
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Artie at least has one moment of lucidity when he is gambling at Richie's card game and decides to quit while he's ahead instead of doing what Davey did.
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Jan 30, 2020 07:30
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I don't want to get ahead of Jerusalem's write ups, but the situation with Artie in this episode is a bit different and it's a lot easier to side with him or at least feel sympathy for him. Although something does occur to me that maybe I missed while I was watching the episode. Am I supposed to assume that Artie, having not learned his lesson from his past mistakes, was so pissed off that the new hot hostess was attracted to Benny and not him, that he called his cousin and hosed her over with the green card? And then without the prospect of the green card, that was the tipping point for her that made her agree to Benny's credit card scam? Because if so, hoo boy Artie is the buffoon of all buffoons. Basebf555 fucked around with this message at 15:56 on Jan 30, 2020 |
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Jan 30, 2020 15:52
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nah i think it was just standard workplace sexual harassment where he felt humiliated by the rejection and then further humiliated by her hooking up with one of the gangsters artie knows that he's no mafioso, but he could've been and his access to their casual privilege and glamour combined with sharing their upbringing (and thus a lot of their values) makes him feel that the grass is so much greener. whenever he resents his lot in life he has to consider what could've been, and whenever he feels he's failed as a man he's confronted with this image of successful manhood in tony and his crew artie's not an idiot, but he's a hot-blooded and very proud guy, which combines with his constant feeling of inferiority and need for masculine validation to cause some really stupid decisions
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Jan 30, 2020 18:09
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I believe Artie is most pissed because they're skimming his credit card sales and AMEX shuts down their merchant processing. The fact that she was attractive and not into him was ancillary.
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Jan 30, 2020 18:49
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Ungratek posted:I believe Artie is most pissed because they're skimming his credit card sales and AMEX shuts down their merchant processing. The fact that she was attractive and not into him was ancillary. What I'm theorizing is that Artie, before he found out anything about the scam(and before the scam actually existed), noticed that the hostess was spending time with Benny and was clearly attracted to him. He became bitter about it, and called his cousin to tell him to forget about helping her get her green card. Then, when she finds out she might not get the green card, she stops giving a poo poo about the job and decides to go along with Benny's scam. But yea, once he finds out about the scam that's all he cares about because it's gonna ruin his business.
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Jan 30, 2020 19:00
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CharlestheHammer posted:Tony doesn’t really try and involve him in anything because he realizes he’s an idiot What? One of the biggest problems Charmaine had with Tony is that he's constantly trying to get Artie involved with scammy bullshit. Not that Artie doesn't try some out on his own of course. But Tony bothered Artie until he hired Furio, he wanted to start a line of sauces and foods based on Vesuvio's but named Satriale's, he tries to get Artie to use Kim's laundry service for the discount. And then there's the whole Armanac debacle, where Artie asked Ralphie for the money and basically gave up when he was turned down. Then Tony, upset about Gloria's suicide, basically forces Artie to borrow the money from him.
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Jan 30, 2020 19:04
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Pope Corky the IX posted:What? Also Artie got "such a deal" on the Ramlosa bought during the bust out.
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Jan 30, 2020 19:28
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Just came here to say FUCKIN QUEERS! I wish Robert Loggia had been brought in sooner/for longer and in a larger role. Imagine the lines he could have delivered with more screen time. I cant believe fuckin Ray Liotta was a top choice for Tony. codo27 fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Jan 30, 2020 |
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Jan 30, 2020 19:56
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Basebf555 posted:What I'm theorizing is that Artie, before he found out anything about the scam(and before the scam actually existed), noticed that the hostess was spending time with Benny and was clearly attracted to him. He became bitter about it, and called his cousin to tell him to forget about helping her get her green card. Then, when she finds out she might not get the green card, she stops giving a poo poo about the job and decides to go along with Benny's scam. This was how I always read it too. Even the way he tells her about it seems more vindictive than apologetic.
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Jan 30, 2020 20:10
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codo27 posted:I cant believe fuckin Ray Liotta was a top choice for Tony. That would have been... interesting. Is there a good movie where Liotta projects menace? David Proval auditioned for Tony and is a lot smaller than Gandolfini but he could at least absolutely make himself the scariest dude in the room.
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Jan 30, 2020 20:32
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Dawgstar posted:That would have been... interesting. Is there a good movie where Liotta projects menace? David Proval auditioned for Tony and is a lot smaller than Gandolfini but he could at least absolutely make himself the scariest dude in the room. Liotta's certainly menacing in Something Wild, which was his breakout role. I don't think he could have done everything Gandolfini could do with the role, but then again who could.
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Jan 30, 2020 21:19
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Chase also had enough cast members from Goodfellas at that point to verify that Liotta was a complete rear end in a top hat during filming.
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Jan 30, 2020 21:22
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Liotta was pretty menacing in Unlawful Entry too, and he seems guilty as gently caress throughout Unforgettable because he looks and acts like a guy who’d kill his wife.
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Jan 30, 2020 21:32
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Liotta's finest movie is Guy Ritchie's Revolver... Which also features Jason Statham, but with hair.
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Jan 30, 2020 21:50
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Dawgstar posted:David Proval auditioned for Tony and is a lot smaller than Gandolfini but he could at least absolutely make himself the scariest dude in the room. I think the reason why Proval didn't get it was because he was just too intimidating.
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Jan 30, 2020 21:56
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Vichan posted:I think the reason why Proval didn't get it was because he was just too intimidating. Yeah, after meeting him, he's the type of guy that always looks like he's ready to punch someone in the face. Even while laughing and joking around with fellow cast members and friends.
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Jan 30, 2020 22:04
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Jack2142 posted:Liotta's finest movie is Guy Ritchie's Revolver... Which also features Jason Statham, but with hair. I’m a big fan or Turbulence myself.
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Jan 30, 2020 22:06
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Season 6, Episode 7 - Luxury LoungeArtie Bucco posted:WE LEAD THE WORLD IN COMPUTERIZED DATA COLLECTION! Two happy Italian tourists look through a map, pondering if they should go to the former site of the Twin Towers. Another man arrives, this one American, and asks if they English. "Not some too much" admits one tourist, so the newcomer begins speaking in fluent Italian. They listen with pleasure as he notes where they are to go, what they are to do, who they can expect to find etc. His instructions given, he's slightly put off-balance when one tourist asks him pleasantly where he learned to speak Italian, and he admits that he came over to America from Italy when he was 2. Oh, so he's Italian? From where? Corky Caporale doesn't answer, he just walks away, and the two "tourists" don't take offense. It was asked without malice but Corky doesn't want them knowing too much about him and they can't blame him. After all they're here to murder a high-ranking member of the Lupertazzi Crime Family, Rusty Millio, and Tony Soprano doesn't want anything linking him back to that, no matter how tenuous. Speaking of those two families, they're joined together in a celebration which is rare enough in itself, made rarer for the occasion. The "Books" have been opened up again and two new members have been "made", one from each family. On the DiMeo side is Burt Gervasi - cousin to Carlo - while on the Lupertazzi side is Gerry "The Hairdo" Torciano (whose men put a beating on Hesh's son-in-law). They've gathered in mutual celebration at Nuovo Vesuvio, with Tony and Phil sitting at opposite ends of the table in places of honor. After a quick toast from Tony (cutting off a longer one by Sil), Phil also rises to welcome the presence of real men, before erupting into a frothing vitriol about this being preferable to "human being-rear end corn-holing cocksuckers like married my cousin! He should loving die!". Tony rolls his eyes and everybody does their best to calm Phil down, but his snapping has opened the floodgates for milder complaints from the others gathered: they've been sitting and drinking for almost 45 minutes after receiving their anti-pasto, where the hell are the mains? Artie Bucco arrives to warmly ask how everything is going and to apologize for the delay, which causes Bobby to point out that the rest of the restaurant seems mostly empty. Phil adds on to the humiliation by asking Artie if he has been up to "Da Giovanni" in Troy Hills, raving about the fish. Artie mumbles that he might check it out, then beats a hasty retreat when the mains finally arrive. The meal complete, Tony and Christopher head to the parking lot and discuss Phil's temper regarding Vito. When Carlo joins them, he explains that his cousin might have a line on a detective who can track Vito down. Tony makes a joke of it all, and they all laugh, but he also makes his intentions very clear and they're very different to Phil's. If Vito shows up, then they'll deal with him, if he doesn't, then they aren't going to go out of their way to find him.   However once Carlo leaves, Christopher takes the opportunity to note that since all hands aren't needed on deck to track Vito down, he'll be taking "time off" himself to go to L.A for a meeting with Ben Kingsley to potentially star in Cleaver. Tony is not happy, not putting much stock in Christopher's assurance this is all business, especially when he learns Christopher is taking his cues from Little Carmine of all people. Christopher assures him he has his guys all prepared to cover the action on the big upcoming Notre Dame football game, and rather sullenly points out he got Tony's OK when he was in the hospital. An even more unimpressed Tony reminds Christopher he was in a coma, but when Christopher grumpily agrees to cancel his flight down, Tony reluctantly puts on a smile and capitulates. Tony gives him an "affectionate" pat on the cheek and gives him the okay. At 134 Deweunter Terrace in Brooklyn, Eddie Pietro is driving Rusty Millio out of his driveway when a car pulls up across the driveway, blocking them in. It's not done aggressively, and the man who approaches the car is nobody Rusty knows nor is he in any way threatening. He's a pleasant, unimposing young fellow with a sunny if befuddled smile and a map, asking in Italian if they can give him directions to Brooklyn. Eddie is irritated but no warning bells are ringing, this is just some idiotic tourist, and he shouts at him to get out of the way. The tourist doesn't understand, jabbering in Italian as Rusty grumpily demands he move his car in faux-Italian. Rusty's wife steps out onto the balcony, calling to him and getting his attention, reminding him that he needs to call Marissa. Rusty is distracted, the tourists are in the way, but it's all the kind of minor petty annoyances of a suburban street on a regular day. So he lowers his window and grumpily accedes to helping out if it will speed things along, asking to see the map. He slips on his glasses, raises the map, and realizes that they're trying to find their way to the museum. Eddie leans in as well, suggesting they way the Eastern Parkway. Rusty agrees, and looking back up a the tourist he explains they took the Belt Parkway by accident... and the other "tourist" has by now moved silently to the driver side window and blows Eddie's brains out. Rusty twists in his seat but it is too late, both hitmen take turns shooting him, then rush back to their parked car and race up the street, leaving their guns - assured as clean by Corky - behind. Rusty's car slowly rolls out of the driveway and to a full stop, and it seems a fitting end to the life of Rusty Millio who could have been the Boss but REALLY wanted to be the power behind the throne. He claimed they could have easily won a war against Johnny Sack and they would have been welcomed  At Vesuvio's, a foursome are having a wonderful time eating and recounting a story about one accidentally playing a porno DVD seen by his daughter when Artie arrives to inject himself into the conversation. An awkward silence follows as Artie happily explains how he prepares the veal, makes small talk about one man's father which forces him to swallow his food hurriedly so he can reply, then promises he'll be back soon with the dessert specials. He wanders away to the bar where he finds Christopher, Benny and Murmur and turns on the charm for them too. He offers to get them a table but Benny wants to stay at the bar, and Artie jokes that maybe he enjoys the view, looking over at the beautiful hostess. She's an Albanian woman named Martina, and Artie explains how he and Charmaine took her on when they heard her story about her family all being killed in Albania. Artie has even called in a favor with a friend in Manhattan to help get her green card sorted out. He calls her over to introduce her to the others, but when she offers Benny a warm greeting he quickly sends her away again with a reminder to get all the reservations sorted. Forcing a smile, he pointedly notes to Benny that it is a shame that the two of them are married and not free and single like Christopher and Murmur. Benny offers a non-committal smile and wordless Ahhh of appreciation... but not necessarily agreement. Murmur does his rounds the next day, forking over cash to the owners/managers of various stores in exchage for credit card numbers skimmed from their customers. He then sells those on for a profit to people who will sell the stolen numbers on the Internet. At Da Giovanni, Tony feels like a bit of a traitor but can't help admitting to Carmela that the food is delicious. She admits that Vesuvio's has felt depressing lately, with a tired menu and a serious need for a remodel. Tony can't dispute that, but they get distracted when kids nearby throw Vito Jr into a headlock and call him "Homo Jr", having obviously picked up on the rumors about his father. A devastated Marie breaks it up and quickly ushers her kids away with a guilty look around the restaurant, which is housing a celebration for the Confirmation of Phil Leotardo's grandson. Silvio and Gabriella join them, raving about the food, and when Phil arrives Tony warmly greets him and hands over an envelope of cash for the boy. He notes that Phil brought the family all the way out to New Jersey, pointing out that in these instances he likes to throw business Artie's way, but Phil ignores that, simply stating the food here is good enough to warrant the detour. He has other things on his mind though, asking if he and Tony can share a private moment. He wants to pass on Johnny Sack's appreciation for the "headlines" about Rusty, but a blank-faced Tony simply says he has no idea what he means since he passed on Johnny's request. Phil remarks that Tony is a cautious man but assures him while some would take offense at that, he does not... which is a nice way of saying he does but chooses to let it pass. Tony offers him nothing back, and they take the arrival of Giovanni himself to join the other customers in clapping and giving the young, attractive and talented chef the appreciation he deserves. As an aside, this is an interesting look at Tony's mindset re: Phil. Yes he's being cautious in not admitting out loud that he was responsible for killing Rusty. But he's also making it clear that a decision made between himself and the other Boss is a decision between them alone. He had told Phil no earlier then said yes only when Johnny personally asked him. Johnny might be willing to tell Phil that Tony is responsible, but Tony isn't, and that says a lot. Primarily it's a reminder that Phil is NOT on Tony's level, even if he is acting as Johnny's spokesman nowadays. Ironically despite Phil being all for the Rusty hit, if anybody is currently in a position to replace John as the Boss it is Phil himself, and an alliance with Rusty probably would have easily secured the role for him. On the other hand, why would Phil need to make himself the new Boss when he already reaps all the benefits for leadership while Johnny remains the lightning rod ala Junior Soprano? Which, again, may play a large part in Tony's concerns, particularly given his discussion with Johnny at the end of season 5. He's managed to work with Phil so far, but very much with Phil in a junior (if privileged) position. Phil as the actual Boss would be an entirely different story, there would be nobody to keep him in line at that point.   At Vesuvio's things are... depressing. The restaurant is nearly empty, and Artie wanders through the dining area with not much to do. He spots Martina over with Benny at the bar and a small smile crosses his face... then instantly drops when he spots her leaning in close and running her hand up his thigh. Forcing on a smile he approaches and asks Benny if he'd like desert, but Benny is glued to his seat and nothing is going to move him, so instead Artie asks Martina if he can talk to her briefly. It's not to point out that her behavior is unprofessional (even putting aside that Benny is married), but instead to inform her with what feels like faux-sadness that his friend can't help her speed along the green card process after all. She's upset, there are a lot of forms to fill out and English is her second language, but he reminds her with a sympathetic grin that this is a small price to pay for living in the land of freedom. Leaving, he tells the barman to get Benny another Sambuca, which Benny wordlessly accepts. It's interesting to speculate though we'll never know for certain. Had Artie actually spoken with his friend? Did he offer Martina that friend's help without checking with him first, trying to play the big man with connections? Did the friend legitimately tell him he had too much on his plate? Or was this all a spur of the moment bullshit lie Artie made-up the second he saw Martina all over Benny and realized his pathetic half-baked fantasy of the grateful Albanian woman sleeping with him was never going to happen so why bother helping her? Just to be a good person!?! We'll never know, but seeing his smile slip when he saw her run her hand up Benny's thigh will always make me suspicious. Later, Tony returns to the Bada Bing, passing the Muslim men who Christopher has been doing regular business. They greet him happily and he offers a smile and a nod back before joining Artie at the bar. Artie is transfixed by a more beautiful than normal stripper, who perhaps reminds him of Martina or is merely a universal stand-in for a beautiful youth he desires but can't have. As Tony joins him, Artie notes with obvious envy that Tony "could gently caress her", lamenting that guys like himself come in, get drunk and stare and at best can get a lap-dance and blow a load in their pants. Tony, not quite sure how to take this... compliment? points out that if Artie REALLY wants to gently caress the stripper he could probably arrange it (charming, it's not enough she gets objectified in gaze, now she's being offered up for sex as well) but Artie quickly waves that off. What he means is that even in that situation he knows he couldn't... but that Tony could. Essentially it's a moral judgement, though one tinged with wistful envy: Artie for all his faults and desires won't cross some lines, while he understands and even admires that Tony doesn't have these same "limitations". Tony isn't enjoying this conversation very much and makes it clear, but is put on the back foot again when Artie tells him that Rosalie and Gabriella came in for lunch yesterday and he heard from them that Tony was at Da Giovanni. So THIS is why Artie is so adamant that Tony could gently caress the stripper, because apparently he doesn't mind "cheating" on Artie too. Grumpily Tony explains it was for Phil's grandson's Confirmation, and tries to play it down by saying Carmela actually felt a little sick afterwards and thought it might have been too much oil. Artie scoffs at that, "jokingly" telling Tony that was a nice touch, and now Tony is starting to get pissed off too. He points out it was a business obligation and Artie "jokes" back that he had to call the fire department the last time Tony had a "business obligation". Tony, smarting from that, shoots back that Artie could use another fresh start to gently caress up, and immediately regrets it. He tries to insist that Artie stick around for another drink on him but Artie refuses, saying he has to go to prepare tomorrow's menu. He gives Tony a hug and promises him he knows where his heart is. But he's been so insistent that everything is okay that Tony has to know... everything is not okay. Later that night Artie and Charmaine climb into bed together, their thoughts on the restaurant as always. It's like an elephant, Artie recalls his father's old meat supplier saying, it costs a fortune and eventually shits on your head. Charmaine has bad news regarding the meat, the latest cut they got had to be severely trimmed due to not being good quality. Artie, depressed and overwhelmed, lays his head back in his wife's lap and she strokes his head. Of all the many gently caress-ups Artie had made in his life, the one good thing he always had was Charmaine, something he almost hosed up during his mid-life crisis yearning for Adriana and is lucky to have back now. But as always you only appreciate something when it is gone, and when Charmaine timidly (for her) brings up that part of the issue is he spends too much time chatting with customers, he throws a minor tantrum. She tries her best to gently explain that he would be better served dealing with the meat suppliers, cooking himself, and limiting conversations to a brief word during coffee since people want to spend dinner talking to each other and not him. Feeling slighted, he high-handedly reminds her of a middling review he got in New Jersey Zagat: "Arthur Bucco, warm and convivial host!" Twisting about in the bed so he's facing away from her, he embraces his pillow and pouts. She's right and on some level he knows it, but it's one more kick in the teeth: he loves talking to people and charming them, and being told that this is part of the reason the restaurant he has devoted his life to is failing is a step too far for him to acknowledge.  Christopher and Little Carmine arrive at the Viceroy hotel in LA, Little Carmine chatting on the phone to Ben Kingsley's Agent, Jay, who owes Carmine a favor for getting him out of some trouble on a yacht in the Florida Keys in the past. They'll be meeting Kingsley at poolside tomorrow for lunch, and in a surprising and honestly touching display of thoughtfulness Little Carmine notes that he normally decompresses at the hotel bar when he arrives but can put that aside if it is a problem for Christopher. He explains he saw how upset Christopher was when a stewardess gave him a class of champagne on the flight, and he doesn't want to do anything to upset him given he is in AA. It may be the first time anybody in the mob has actually just straight up been thoughtful about Christopher's condition, and it is clear that Carmine doesn't consider it any imposition to just... you know, not drink around an alcoholic. But Christopher spots a pretty woman (and probable hooker) entering the bar and that decides it for him, especially when mixed with his desire not to be seen as a burden, and he promises Little Carmine it won't be an issue and they can go to the bar. Artie, in blatant denial of Charmaine's suggestion, is interrupting a couple's dinner to joke that if they drink too much wine with the way they're looking at each other they'll need to bring along a high chair. The couple laugh but kind of incredulously, while Artie trails off during the punchline when he notices Martina flirting with Benny again. She spots him looking and quickly returns to her podium as he approaches, asking her pointlessly if she clipped the daily special cards to the menus as an excuse for why he came over. He starts to head back into the dining area (much fuller today, though still not packed) but Benny calls him back to the bar. He wants to know why Artie is always riding Martina, a question that doesn't exactly endear him to Artie who points out she is HIS employee and his role is to tell her what to do, which is all this is. Benny doesn't take offense, simply points out that Martina feels like recently he's been trying to upset her deliberately and make her cry. Pissed at this jumped up little poo poo (who is also clearly in a relationship with Martina, which Artie fantasized about for himself) for having a go at him when, he tells Benny if he is that worried maybe HE should hire her. Benny grins and says he knows how to handle employees, agreeing with Artie's sarcastic remark that he is a people person and explaining that people who are good to him get treats while those who aren't receive "severance". Artie is often not the brightest bulb, but he recognizes an obvious threat when he hears one. Most people when confronted with a known mobster laying down thinly-veiled threats would do their best to get clear, but Artie's not been in the best mood recently AND he has a spotty history of getting away with poo poo most never would thanks to his friendship with Tony. So when Benny threatens him, he calls him on it, laughing and saying that Benny talked around the threat so much he almost "missed" it. Charmaine enters the dining area looking for Artie and sees him clearly about to lose his temper with a MEMBER OF THE MAFIA and quickly rushes to separate them before things can get nasty. Returning him to the kitchen, she makes two very valid points regardless of the fact Benny is a "hood": if Martina's boyfriend is feeling protective of her then that's perfectly reasonable; AND while she might be a slow learner she is well-liked by the customers and they enjoy her stories about Albania. Artie though is full of (selective) moral outrage, proclaiming that Benny is a married man and his actions are disgusting(and deeply envied by him)!   Christopher's assurances that he can handle going to the bar have proven to be, shockingly, untrue. He snorts a line of coke in his room with the woman he saw earlier, who yes absolutely was a hooker. She lays out her prices to him which he haggles on briefly before snorting another line. He declares,"Those are some amazing tits!" as he paws roughly at them. "Thank you sweetie!" she smiles in response to this suave, debonair line from a real class act. Tony is supposed to be having a meal with Carlo at Vesuvio's, but the latter is running late due a concern there might be a sniper taking shots at traffic (this was only a few years after the infamous D.C Sniper Attacks, the early 2000s were a weird time for America). Artie takes the opportunity to make an awkward apology to Tony for his behavior at the Bada Bing the other day but Tony happily waves it off. Artie explains that he's been feeling the pressure financially, with their revenue down 40% from the previous year. Tony winces to hear this and asks if Artie needs help, and is offended by Artie's immediate,"God no!" response. Artie is quick to explain though, he means that he is THANKFULLY not yet in a position that he can't reasonably work his way out of. Tony takes this at face value, another example of how Artie is able to get away with things most everybody else can't (even moreso than Christopher), but is less happy about Artie immediately making GBS threads all over his idea of maybe promoting the place with 2-for-1 coupons. He insists he'd give the restaurant back to the bank before he turned the place into an IHOP with early bird specials and salad bars, and then gets just a little too familiar when he complains that if Tony REALLY wants to help he could pay his tab. He reminds Tony that he catered the function they threw for Dick Barone back when he got sick, and while the entertainment got paid the restaurant did not. He storms off, having gotten a little angrier than he intended, leaving Tony slightly astonished at the obvious resentment his friend has for him. Murmur continues his rounds, picking up the skimmed credit card numbers this time from Shlomo Teittleman's motel. Hillel still works there but seems to have found some level of peace/acceptance of the hateful working arrangement, as he hands over the numbers without blinking an eye and makes no objection to taking the envelope of cash from Murmur in exchange. At each of these businesses the owners/managers have been willing (or at least begrudgingly accepting) participants in the fraud, getting money in exchange which essentially guarantees their silence. So it is that when Artie Bucco gets a visit from two investigators from American Express, at first he assumes there is some kind of mistake. Because he is absolutely NOT involved in any credit card scam, Murmur is NOT bringing him envelopes of cash in exchage for customer numbers, and he has no reason to suspect anything like that is going on. So he is horrified to be handed electronic transaction records from customers he served at his restaurant whose cards all suddenly started racking up false charges that were immediately disputed.... including a councilman. Charmaine arrives just in time hear the bombshell news from the investigators, they are suspending Artie's right to accept American Express cards. She tries to calm him down but he's near-apoplectic: AMEX accounts for 30% of his business and he cannot stand to lose any more than he already has. He earlier told Tony that thank God he didn't yet need help from him despite being 40% down on the previous year. Now he's lost 30% of that remaining 60% and he has no idea who is responsible.   Sir Ben Kingsley, Knight of the Realm and Oscar winning actor, compares different jackets for his PA while chatting on the phone to his Agent, Jay, trying to figure out just why the hell he is meeting with two nobodies to discuss some movie nobody knows about written by somebody nobody has heard of. He's pissed when he gets the reason why, presumably Jay has told him some sanitized version about owing Little Carmine for helping him out. But he's a professional, so he goes to poolside where Little Carmine offers him the Logline of "The Ring meets The Godfather", which to be fair is probably not the worst pitch he has ever heard. They want him to play the Mob Boss that the hero is coming to kill, with Little Carmine insisting that he immediately thought of him for the part (which again, is something he's probably heard a lot). Kingsley is being unfailingly polite while also making it clear he'd rather be anywhere else, looking at his phone, pouring milk in his tea but offering reasonable sounding non-committal responses. Any role is script-dependent, and he offers false humility by saying he is embarrassed to admit he has never heard of JT Dolan, rather than the truth which is that Dolan - pawned Emmy notwithstanding - is an utter nobody. Christopher explains he's from TV, offering up Nash Bridges, Hooperman and "Law and Order The SUV" (  ) as examples of his work. Kingsley nods without maintaining eye contact and asks if there actually IS a script, and Little Carmine - after noticing that Christopher is distracted and his gaze keeps wandering - explains they were waiting to cast him so as to tailor the part accordingly. For the first time, Kingsley makes it clear that he is completely aware of who and what they are, when they compliment on his viability to play a Mob Boss and he looks Christopher directly in the eye and notes he considers this a compliment. They miss the implication, Little Carmine continuing on with again what is not uncommon ground in pitches, insisting that sure they COULD get Ridley Scott or Tobe Hooper to direct but they'd rather hire an unknown and find the next James Wan instead. But Kingsley, who has been forced into this meeting by an Agent who better be hoping it isn't the last meeting he ever sets up for him, has been looking for a way out and now he's found one. His eyes light up and he calls out to "Betty", and Little Carmine and Christopher are shocked to see Lauren Bacall wandering by. Kingsley joins her with a hug and a kiss, introducing her briefly to Carmine and Christopher (and getting their last names wrong or forgetting them entirely) before they turn and share their own conversation while ignoring the other two. She's in town to present at an Awards Show, "ShoWest or some bullshit" she admits, the excuses her to get her Shiatsu, though not before uttering the fateful comment that the Awards Shows "take care of you". She leaves and Kingsley takes the opportunity to apologize that he's got a scheduling problem and needs to get to the "Luxury Lounge" so they'll have to end their meeting there. Kings of not getting the message (again, not exactly an uncommon trait in the film business) they assure him they can walk-and-talk, and accompany him. Kingsley doesn't fight it, but nor does he wait. As Carmine hurriedly signs for the lunch bill, he asks Christopher what's got him so distracted. Christopher insists it's just being a bit overwhelmed being around Ben Kingsley AND Lauren Bacall, but as Carmine runs around poolside to catch up with the quickly departing Kingsley, Christopher makes a call to Murmur. He admits to his sponsor that he is "chipping" and he needs him to get on a plane immediately. He catches up as Kingsley is admitted, his "guests" reluctantly allowed in as well. A woman called Janine shows them (well, Ben) around, Little Carmine trying to keep the pitch going (he's sure he can get Sam Rockwell to play the lead) until they walk into a world they never knew existed. These are mobsters, used to all kinds of rackets and scams and exploitation, but what they see makes all their bullshit pale in comparison. The Luxury Lounge is a room packed with enormously expensive luxury items.... and they're all free. As Kingsley is lead around, he is shown item after item worth thousands if not tens of thousands of dollars each, offered freebies and frequently turning them down not because it's too much but because he's already gotten it as a freebie elsewhere. And what do the celebrities give in return? Not even an explicit endorsement, it's simply enough that they get their photos taken near the products or are seen to be wearing/using them. As Christopher and Carmine look around gaping, Wilmer Valderrama posing for the camera, Ben is lead past lingerie, given a couple of cashmere throws, a free watch for himself AND one for his Godson's birthday as a bonus, and a free phone to boot. Christopher, mind reeling, asking "Sir Kingsley" if this happens all the time. After correcting him that it is "Sir Ben", Kingsley explains it happens a couple of times a year around awards seaon and admits it is rather embarrassing. But he's also not turning any of it down, and when they bring over a giant collection of bags with more free giveaways he "generously" gives a pair of sunglasses to Christopher since he already got some for a gift from his family recently. Having been told by his PA that he has another meeting coming soon, he gives a less than sincere apology for taking up all their time and suggests they meet in New York soon for further discussions. It's a bullshit pass-off but Little Carmine takes it at face value and quickly shuts up Christopher who can't stop talking about all the free stuff on offer. Instead they take the opportunity to elbow their way into the photo opportunity with Kingsley by the promoters. It's the first time you really see Kingsley's face fall, but he's an old pro and seconds later is forcing on a happy smile and reminding himself that he has fulfilled his obligation to Jay's obligation.  
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Jan 31, 2020 08:59
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| # ? May 25, 2024 02:55 |
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Benny meets with Tony and Silvio outside of Satriale's to hand over Tony's end of the take from "the Arabs" for their credit card numbers they've been skimming. It's Christopher's operation but as he's in LA Benny is the one bringing the cash, and Tony is pleased to see how much there is all for just one week. He asks if Benny is going to see Martina over at Vesuvio's, and when Benny says he is he peels off a little more cash and hands the envelope (tucked inside a newspaper) back, telling Benny to give it to Artie to go towards paying off his tab. It's a nice (if overdue gesture), the irony being that even Tony has no idea part of the money he's paying back is money that was technically stolen from Artie in the first place. At Vesuvio's, Artie and Charmaine have called the staff together for a very difficult conversation. Artie attempts to keep his cool, promising he's not accusing anybody and insisting they both think of the staff as part of the family. As Artie talks about forgiveness and love, one of the cooks - Hector - leans over to another and whispers in Spanish that he'd like to bury his dick in Charmaine's cleavage. The other cook can't help but burst out laughing and it immediately catches Artie's attention, and he demands to know if they have something to day. They fall silent, and Charmaine - no idea she was the subject of their conversation - promises that they have no intention of pressing charges, they just want to make sure this credit card fraud stops. But Artie, as always, can't help but get in one extra little aside to prove he knows what is going on and isn't helplessly ignorant of the goings-on in his own restaurant. So he explains this isn't about stealing a 42-oz jar of Moroccan olives or some toilet paper, and one of the waiters - Alonzo - angrily demands to know why he is looking at him. Charmaine tries to calm things down and Artie points out that the investigators might question the honesty of a man who wears a coat taken from Lost and Found, and this sets Alonzo off again as he KNOWS this was directed at him. Now Artie gets furious back, screaming obscenities at EVERYBODY, proving the lie to his claims there would be no accusations, pointing at all the shocked staff and calling them pieces of poo poo who have paid back his kindness with "non-stop rear end rape!" He hauls a tablecloth away, sending cutlery and plates flying, and storms off into the kitchen. Charmaine, horrified and distraught, asks the staff to please clean up so they can open, then rushes out in near tears herself. One member of staff at least has been hit hard by this display. Later that night Martina calls Benny from the parking lot to worriedly ask if she'll be in trouble, especially with "credit card police" coming around. Benny, out to dinner with his wife at Da Giovanni, assures her the Credit Card companies are huge and will eat the loss and that she has nothing to worry about. She accepts this but still seems troubled after he hangs up, while Benny himself returns to his table where his wife complains about never being able to have dinner without business interrupting. The next morning Artie drinks coffee in his kitchen as he reads the paper. As he looks out the window of his small but pleasant home into his small but pleasant yard, among the vegetables grown in his small but pleasant garden he spots... a rabbit. It's chewing busily away at what he has planted, and he finally has something to take his rage out on. He grabs his rifle and steps outside, shooting the rabbit before it can react, killing it instantly. Savagely satisfied, he hauls it up as Charmaine rushes out in a panic, sees what he has done, and reminds him that he was warned on the 4th of July by a cop when he let off his rifle (presumably in a patriotic fervor, oh Artie) that it is forbidden in borough limits. But Artie won't be guilted on this one, reminding her he brought (smuggled) the arugula seeds over from Italy in his shaving kit. He wasn't going to let some rabbit eat those up, and he carries the corpse of his kill back into the house, feeling at least momentarily like what he believes a man should.   Things aren't going so "well" for Christopher, who is on the outs with "Eden", the hooker he has apparently been spending most of his evenings with. She caught him going through her purse and has locked herself in the bathroom as he hammers on the door and screams at her that he just happened to knock it over and had picked it back up when she walked in. She's not Adriana, she knows bullshit when she hears it and tells him to go gently caress himself. He was either looking for coke or money to buy coke, and she's waiting for her chance to clear out of there with the money he's paid for her company so far. Grumpy, Christopher swigs from an open bottle of champagne and puts through a call to Ben Kingsley's room. Kingsley answers and doesn't bother correcting "Sir Kingsley" this time, simply saying he spoke to Jay who is "working" on their New York meeting. That isn't what Christopher wants to discuss though... he wants to get back into the Luxury Lounge! Kingsley shrugs and says his publicist handles all that, and when Christopher asks if they can put in a word for him he makes the very valid point: What exactly can HIS publicist do for Christopher? Christopher accepts this, saying they'll meet in New York, explaining that Little Carmine already left because the wife of a recently deceased friend is having a breakdown (he's referring to Rusty and his wife, a murder he set up himself but doesn't even blink about the fact Rusty was such a good friend of his current business partner). He hangs up and then answers the door when he hears the knock, shouting to Eden that security are going to blow the door open. "gently caress YOU!" is her succinct reply, but it's not security, it's Murmur. Suddenly Christopher is a completely different person, admitting that he's hosed up, that he needs to get himself together, something he knew from the start. He called Murmur in to help him, but used the fact Murmur was coming as an excuse to keep binging till he got there, and it's only NOW that he's arrived that suddenly he's ready to stop drinking and doing drugs. At Vesuvio's, a calmer Artie is explaining to Hector how to cook the meal, the need to use more white truffle due to having less intensity than the black etc. With that out of the way, Artie is ready to leave, he has an Investing Club at the Learning Annex he is going to attend, leaving the restaurant in the hands of his hired help rather than leading the kitchen, his head full of dreams of playing the stockmarket and making it big. Before he goes though he takes aside Sandy - the coat check girl - and apologizes that he used what she told him about Alonzo and the coat to make accusations in the staff meeting. She doesn't hold it against him, in fact there is something else she has been worrying about whether to tell him. Yesterday Martina was showing off Caovilla sandals, and while Sandy knows that the Hostess makes more than she does, she also knows that Caovilla sandals are NOT cheap. As Martina is heading out the door herself, Artie rushes up to her saying he wants to ask her something. Seeing the look of horror on her face, his own falls, and that is the straw that breaks the camels back for her. She bursts into tears, promising she will pay him back. He's outraged, how could she do this to him? He becomes even angrier when her excuse was that he was mean to her, reminding her that he helped her find an apartment and taught her how to drive! But now she gets angry back, and not without some justification. He was nice to her, yes... right up until the moment he realized he was never going to get to gently caress her. He pretends to be amused, but the floodgates have opened now, and she sneers at him that he stares at her "like food", and jabs at finger at him while promising that he will NEVER get to gently caress her. Getting cruel now, she says that she and Benny would laugh at how pathetic he was, that they hosed in piles of money they stole from his stupid customers. Furious, he fires her, and she flips him the bird and storms out after snapping something in Albanian at him. He can't help following her out to shout that his friendship with Tony won't prevent him from pressing charges and this will go on her permanent record. Standing outside the restaurant, belittled and feeling emasculated, the best he can manage as a final shouted threat is a hilarious and pathetic final threat:  Had it ended there it would have been a humiliation but one that Artie and more importantly his restaurant could have recovered from. He would have had to lick the wounds to his ego a little but he could have recovered. But Artie has never, ever learned when to leave well enough alone. So still feeling emasculated and wanting to lash out but with Martina gone, he moves to the next available target: Benny. In a woefully ill-advised move, he repeatedly rings the doorbell of Benny's home in the middle of the night and demands to speak to him. Benny grumpily tells him this is no time to be talking, his wife is pregnant and needs her sleep, but when Artie hisses that Martina told him about the credit card scam and begins pulling on the handle of the screen door, Benny sighs and calls out to his wife he'll just be outside for a minute. Stepping out, he takes a moment to compose himself then takes Artie by the shoulders and smiles, acknowledges that he knows he's upset but insists it isn't his problem that "that little trick" got greedy. This somehow pisses Artie off even more, Martina is far from his favorite person now but the fact this little (married!) rear end in a top hat who got to have sex with the girl of Artie's fantasies clearly holds her in contempt makes his even angrier. He shoves Benny back, surprising the mobster who isn't used to civilians doing this, especially ones who know EXACTLY what he is. But he still keeps his cool, complaining that he was planning to cut Artie in but now he won't because he's acting stupid. "So regular people are stupid?" demands Artie, and shoves him even harder. This one REALLY catches Benny by surprise, he stumbles back and hits the wall hard, and now he's done containing himself. With a big grin he steps forward as Artie finally seems to realize he's gone too far, and then unleashes a hell of a bunch right to Artie's mouth. Artie staggers over, then turns and tries to swing back but it's weak and untrained and Benny easily catches his arm and pummels him again. It's a repeat of the Jean-Philippe fiasco all over again, where Artie got scammed, tried to step up as a "man" and got his rear end handed to him. He turns gasping as Benny glares at him and tries not for the first time to intimidate him, roaring,"DO YOU WANT SOME MORE!?!" at him. And it all goes red for Artie, who has had to put up with this little poo poo and his knowing looks and smug attitude and thinly veiled threats. Because for all that Artie knows what Benny is, he has never actually been frightened of him, and the fact that Benny seems to not only expect but believes that Artie IS scared of him drives him over the edge. He launches himself at Benny, taking the smaller man off of his feet and crashing into the deck chairs and table. Momentarily shocked, Benny lays beneath Artie, trying to struggle clear, but for once Artie has the physical advantage. Letting out all his aggression, now he is the one who pummels Benny, punching him again and again while calling him a piece of dogshit, a little, crazy motherfucking meatball dogshit! At some point Benny passes out from the blows and Artie stops, wiping his hands clear and spitting with contempt on the little mobster. Staggering to his feet he starts to leave, but once again simply can't resist turning around for one last insult, asking Benny,"I'M STUPID?" before throwing a phantom punch at nothing. Like with the rabbit, he once again feels like what he thinks a man should feel like, and returns to his car. Unlike with the rabbit, being issued a fine is far from the worst thing that could happen to him. Sir Ben Kingsley rides the elevator in his dressing gown for a massage, not pleased to be joined by a now clearly sober Christopher and Murmur on the way down. Christopher asks if he was able to get him into the Luxury Lounge again and Kingsley reminds him that there isn't much he can do, and doesn't like the way Christopher keeps staring as he notes that he guesses it is only for VIPs like Kingsley who is "very. important. persons." Kingsley carefully smiles and agrees the promotional people must think so, and tries to change the subject by asking Murmur the genesis of his name. "I had a heart murmur when I was a kid" he explains simply, the two of them continuing to flank Kingsley, making him feel increasingly more uncomfortable. Christopher notes that they just hand things out in the Luxury Lounger, the coolest things in the world to the people who need it the least. The doors open and Kingsley leaves, followed closely by the two mobsters, and he turns to make a vain attempt to explain himself. Yes they're given a ton of promotional items, but most of it he gives away to homeless shelters and charity auctions. Christopher reminds him that one of the watches he took was for his Godson and not any kind of charity auction, and Kingsley assures him that yes the Luxury Lounge system IS obscene... but it's nothing compared to award shows where presenters get about 30k worth of merchandise in a single basket. They do their best to spread it around and do some good with it. Having made the case for why being given incredibly expensive things for free is actually GOOD for society, Kingsley makes his way on to the spa. Christopher calls after him that he'll make sure he gets the script, which I'm sure Kingsley will just be dying to read after this uncomfortable elevator ride.  Tony, Artie, Carmela and Charmaine have gone out for a day on Tony's new boat. A year or so ago this would have been an impossibility, both marriages were broken up seemingly forever, Artie and Tony weren't speaking and things between Carmela and Charmaine were pretty tense. Now they're all back together though, but there is an ulterior motive for this day out. As Carmela and Charmaine head into the boat to put lunch together, Tony has Artie - who has been knocking back margaritas - join him up by the fishing seats for a little privacy. Once there he furiously demands to know what Artie was thinking getting into it with Benny like that. Artie replies with just as much anger, accusing Tony of ordering the credit card scam which immediately puts him on the back foot. Tony insists he knew nothing about it, and when Artie mocks the idea of Benny being a criminal mastermind, Tony points out that when Artie found out he should have come to him instead of putting Benny into the ER. Now Benny is out for blood in revenge, a threat that Artie completely (stupidly) discounts, instead putting more emphasis on the fact that with American Express gone from the restaurant he has had to go with the 2-for-1 specials he vowed he never would, his accountant insisted. Fighting back tears, Artie complains that he believed his father's long-held belief that hard work paid off in the end, and Tony becomes concerned. He places one big hand gently on Artie's neck, as carefully as possible telling Artie that seeing him like this reminds me of the time he tried to commit suicide. Carmela steps out with the sandwiches for lunch, and they gather themselves emotionally before heading back down. At the Viceroy, Christopher gets a call from Little Carmine. Kingsley has passed on the offer, and Christopher is incensed, shattering the glasses Kingsley gave him and complaining that he tried everything to be his friend (!), he even sent a muffin basket with the script! Tony summons Benny to see him at the back of the Bada Bing to discuss Artie, and finds the little mobster adamant in his intention to kill. He goes so far as to tell Tony he can kill Benny himself afterwards if he wants, but nothing is going to stop from getting at Artie, who assaulted him outside his house while his pregnant wife was watching TV inside. I mean... how could somebody do something that affects somebody's family negatively! Benny would never do something like that! He insists he is going to drive nails into Artie's balls, Tony finishing the sentence for him since apparently he's said this already. Tony, in spite of Benny's insistence on going against his ruling, remains not only calm but assured. Because while Benny has made a good case under the hosed up rules of the Mafia why he should be allowed to kill Artie, those same rules apply to Benny to and he's about to school him on them. First he sets Benny at ease, asking about the fact they now know Benny's son will be a boy. He hugs him and congratulates him warmly, then with equal pleasure informs him he is only going to tell him this once: it's over between him and Artie. Benny listens as Tony reminds him that he's lucky not be getting taxed, that he targeted somebody who was a close childhood friend of Tony's without permission, that he poo poo where he ate and more important he poo poo where TONY himself eats. He potentially exposed not just himself and Artie but Tony too, and that is a transgression beyond anything. Much as it pains Benny he has to accept that, and that the price of getting clear of it is letting Artie go unpunished too. He makes a token protest, especially when Tony informs him he's not going to hold his parents' anniversary dinner at Vesuvio's instead of Da Giovanni. But Tony insists and Benny listens, because Artie is going to apologize and give Benny a good rate, and the shared humiliation will be the end of it for both of them.   Screen legend Lauren Bacall leaves the ShoWest (or some bullshit) awards ceremony, accompanied by an aide who carries her gift basket worth 30k for her. She points out her limo towards the front of a long line of them, and Bacall assures the aide she is capable of taking the basket from here. The aide makes sure she is okay and then turns to go, initially missing it as a man in a balaclava races up behind Bacall and tries to haul the basket from her. "GET THE gently caress AWAY FROM ME!" snaps arguably the most desirable woman in the world in the late 1940s, maintaining a deathgrip on her basket of goodies. The wannabe thief straight up just punches Lauren Bacall right in the face and races with the basket to a car that has just skidded to a stop beside the limos, and they take off down the street, side-swiping another car as they go. Lauren Bacall is left being attended to by the aide and the other limo drivers as she moans in pain for her apparently broken arm, wandering who could have possibly gotten the idea to mug HER of all people in HERE of all places. Artie has swallowed his pride and taken out a full page newspaper advertisement for "Two-fers night!" at Nuovo Vesuvio. Sandy is pleased to see a line going down the street, while Artie is more concerned about everybody pushing the scampi which he brought from a wholesaler with the knowledge it won't be edible after tonight. This is what he has been reduced to, wholesale bulk shipments of seafood and two-for-one coupon nights. But on the plus side, the restaurant is quickly filled up as a wave of elderly people come through the door. Artie and Charmaine stand together beaming, until Artie hears one patron ask if they have a low-salt option and can't bear it anymore, heading back into the kitchen. That night Vesuvio's remains busy, as Benny Fazio's parents celebrate their wedding anniversary with a party filling the banquet room. Benny does his best to put a good face on things, assuring his parents they can order whatever they want but then having to stuff his mouth with bread as his wife quietly reminds his enthusiastic mother that the loin of veal she wanted is only served at Da Giovanni. Artie comes to the table and without a word offers his hand to Benny, who shakes it in a quiet acknowledgement of their uneasy truce. And then Artie can't resist getting one last dig in. After offering a toast of "100 years" to Benny's parents, he asks if he can get anybody else any more drinks. They are all fine, but Artie makes a suggestion, perhaps he could get Benny a Martina? Benny turns an incredulous face to Artie who is happily explaining to Benny's WIFE that a Martina is like a martini but from Albania. She admits she has never heard of one, and Artie exclaims that apparently "they go down real easy". Benny swallows his pride, holds in his anger and tells the man who gave him such a savage beating that they're going to read their menus. Artie smiles, reveling in the power he for once feels, and gives him a rough pat on the shoulder before heading back into the kitchen. For once Benny has experienced the other side of the power imbalance, and he's seething. Inside the kitchen, Artie is stirring the soup when Benny quietly makes his way inside. Moving quickly to Artie before anybody can notice, he grabs him by the arm and twists it, yelling,"IN FRONT OF MY WIFE!?!" before he jams Artie's hand directly into the bubbling hot liquid. Artie squeals in pain as Benny holds it in place, then moves briskly but without panic back out of the kitchen as Artie drops to the ground screaming. Charmaine rushes into the kitchen and to his side, begging the shocked kitchen staff to call 911. On the plane back to New Jersey, Christopher and Murmur enjoy seeing their escapade has made the front page of variety, a piece about the baffling and shameful attack on Lauren Bacall. Their good mood fades though when they see Sir Ben Kingsley boarding the plane too. He spots them and is momentarily taken aback before putting on a non-threatening smile and continuing past them, his PA assuring him she'd have found another flight if she'd known they'd be on it. "Fuccck" is his all-encompassing reply, as he looks up towards the front where Christopher is peeking back at him from between the seats, still endlessly fascinated with this man who rejected his "friendship" but has the keys to a kingdom of luxuries AND social acceptance/adulation that he can only dream of.   Tony has lunch at Vesuvio's, in what was supposed to be a family meal for four that turned out to be just Tony alone due to the ongoing argument going on between Hugh and Carmela over the spec house. Tony asks after Artie's now-bandaged hand, and tries to look on the bright side, he has a good crowd there today. Artie shrugs, they're on life-support and kept going by the two-fers, the regulars stopped coming when they heard about the credit card fraud. Also the rest of the staff aren't happy about Martina leaving, and Tony doesn't dispute that Benny really did a number on the restaurant, though he probably doesn't exactly blame him given Artie made that Martina crack in front of his wife AND Benny showed restraint in not actually murdering him. Artie ponders if he's cursed, and Tony tells him he sounds like an old lady. A real one shows up though, Mary has come along with Carmela after failing to convince Hugh. They all settle at the table, and Tony watches as Mary squints at the menu and sounds out what is there, just one of many elderly people who now make up the bulk of the clientele of what Tony has always thought of as "his" place. He looks around, one of the few young couples there are being "charmed" by Artie repeating his line about needing a high chair, clearly looking uncomfortable. It is the final straw for Tony who in his own hosed up way has been trying to be supportive of his old friend. He slips into the kitchen and calls Artie over, and attempts to hit him with some well-meaning but uncomfortable home truths. He offers to give Artie the name of a therapist (Melfi), promising he'll like her. Artie looks confused, so Tony explains as best he can, butchering the Ojibwe saying again as he accuses Artie of "going about in pity for yourself", having now irreversibly changed the inspirational saying into a verbal weapon to be used against others. Artie finds that priceless coming from somebody like Tony, but Tony isn't going to let Artie wriggle out of this intervention. He accuses him of blaming everybody else for his problems, but he has the Mexicans do the bulk of the cooking, he never changes the menu or the decor, he has to accept some blame for his restaurant no longer being popular. He ignores Artie's attempt at a joking insult, and with real emotion reminds Artie that on one of the bleakest nights of his life he brought his family here and they took shelter from a storm. He's talking about the end of season 1, after confronting his vile mother who laughed in his face after he revealed he knew she had tried to have him killed. Artie doesn't know that part, but he remembers the storm and the powercut and Tony's desperate need to get his family in out of the rain. But in the face of real emotion, of Tony's assurance that he'll come to Vesuvio's as long as it is open or until he dies eating at the table, but that doesn't change the fact that sometimes businesses go through hard times and the owner needs to adapt, Artie can't cope. So he lashes out, telling Tony to go to Da Giovanni and ask him to cook up bland poo poo for Tony's shot-up pancreas. It's a low blow and he knows it, but Tony contains his anger, instead hitting Artie where it hurts be repeating the same warning that Charmaine gave him: he needs to stay in the kitchen and stop haranguing people with his corny jokes and stupid stories. Nobody wants to talk to him, they want to eat and drink and talk among themselves. With that rather savage verbal blow landed, Tony leaves, and Artie almost physically stumbles from the emotional impact. What Tony just told him was cruel, but it was necessary. At the Bada Bing, Christopher returns to the back office with a bag stuffed full of "major swag", enthusiastically telling an unimpressed Tony about how great LA was. Tony's taste is actually legitimately impressive, a first class trip to Australia complete with a round at a prestigious golf club! But Tony is unimpressed, saying he doesn't want to fly 20 hours to play at a place that looks like Sarasota. So Christopher hands over an expensive lady's watch, and Tony IS impressed by this because he doesn't say anything insulting, just quietly nods and then looks expectantly at the bag to see what else is waiting for him. A small carry bag for a "pocket dog", a bottle of perfume etc. As he looks, he asks Christopher what Ben Kingsley was like and Christopher insists he was great AND desperately wanted the part but Christopher has decided he's no good for the role. He did see Lindsay Lohan though and she's a total piece of rear end. Finally Tony reveals a large part of why he's being so stand-offish. He asks if Christopher heard about Artie's hand, acknowledging that Artie is lucky in that there is unlikely to be any scarring or grafts needed. But he blames Christopher for not being around, suggesting that if he had been he could have kept his crew in hand and the madness with Benny wouldn't have happened. Christopher reminds Tony again that he was the one who gave him permission to go, and when Tony reminds HIM that he warned him about the dangers of a loss of focus, Christopher defends this particular passion he is indulging by pointing out the sacrifice he already made on behalf of all of them. That's no longer the nuclear option he thought it would be though, as Tony asks him testily just how often he plans on playing the "Adriana Card". Christopher can't really answer that, but it should serve as a warning to him: with very rare exceptions like Artie, no matter what you do, how big a sacrifice you make or how much money you might have made him in the past, for Tony Soprano the prevailing thought is always,"But what have you done for me LATELY?"   Artie goes through the receipts late one night at Vesuvio's, the kitchen shut down for the night. Charmaine enters and lets him know that Sandy just seated a couple, and he reminds her that the kitchen is closed. She explains that they gave Sandy a sad story about their car breaking down on their way to the city, and that they have nowhere else to go... plus they've already ordered and opened a bottle. Grumpily he peers through the window, complaining that Hector has already left for the night, watching Alonzo pouring their drinks, and perhaps some part of what Tony finally penetrates his head. Here are a couple who looked to Vesuvio's as a port in a storm, a place they could come when there was nowhere else, where they would be welcomed and fed. It is the kind of place he would like his restaurant to be, and so despite retaining a grumpy air he tells a pleased Charmaine that they are going to have to eat whatever he gives them. He opens the fridge and looks at what is left, and pulls out the skinned rabbit he shot in the garden. Opening an old, battered notebook with the name Angelo Bucco on it, he looks lovingly at handwritten old recipes, and finds the one he is looking for. One armed he moves the ingredients into place, Charmaine returning and worriedly noting that not everybody likes rabbit. He doesn't bother to argue, simply tells her he plans to use his grandfather Angelo's old recipe with some added Provencal elements he's been mulling over in his head recently. He dismisses her when she reminds him he'd intended to take the rabbit to him at the rest home (presumably Angelo is still alive, if ancient?) and she goes with a roll of her eyes... but also no dissent. This is his kitchen, and his dismissal isn't made emotionally or in a rage, but with the distracted air of a chef who is busy creating. He turns on the gas, sautes onions in butter and slowly adds the vegetables, rabbit and spices, working alone in his kitchen doing what he truly, honestly does best: cook. As one man rediscovers his Italian roots, two more are returning home with fond memories of their time as "tourists". The two Italian hitmen fly first class, happily looking at the "bonuses" they got during the trip: an expensive watch and some mont blanc pens! I've always taken this as the cheap bastards in the DiMeo family "gifting" them items stolen from Lauren Bacall, but I suppose it's possible they just blew all their money from the killing on these luxury items that celebrities just get handed for free. In any case, they're happy, and why not? They came to America, saw the sights, murdered a high ranking member of one of the Five Families, got paid AND some nice souvenirs and now they're flying home in First Class. The only way life could be better is if they were presenters at an award show like ShoWest or some bullshit.   Season 6: Members Only | Join the Club | Mayham | The Fleshy Part of the Thigh | Mr. & Mrs. John Sacrimoni Request... | Live Free or Die | Luxury Lounge | Johnny Cakes | The Ride | Moe n' Joe | Cold Stones | Kaisha Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5 | Season 6.1 | Season 6.2 Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Apr 23, 2020 |
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Jan 31, 2020 09:00
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