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Feb 4, 2020 07:38
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| # ? May 25, 2024 22:12 |
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Eat My Fuc posted:I say go for it. Typing it all out alone could help. I really hope it gets better for you soon, I enjoy your posting. Thanks friend. I realize this is only one endorsement but I'm going to take it and run because this will take a lot of time and energy to type out. Some of this info might be slightly off in terms of timeline and the like but whatever. I wanna say it was like mid-2017 or so that I signed a contract to be a subcontractor for a consulting firm. The person who courted me to this is someone I've known for a long time, and she (I'll call her Fran, just because it's nothing like her real name and also I think it's kinda a funny name) and another guy were starting the firm. They didn't let me be a partner in terms of equity in the firm, but the agreement I signed was and is non-exclusive (so I'm not getting Vince'd) but the idea was I'd get work via things they'd direct me towards. I'd make less than them, but I also wouldn't have to do as much work in terms of finding poo poo. Bully for me. So I sign (after getting rid of some wording in the contract that they'd own in perpetuity anything I produce for them because if they were gonna use my likeness years down the road or something, loving pay me, thx), and everything seems cautiously cool. It took I wanna say 6-12 months before I saw ANY work from them. That said, the work has been good as hell. It was a two year agreement (that ends in June), a project I love, good pay, and is extremely manageable in terms of being a fantastic ROI. At the start of Year Two, Fran told me that she and the lady who is in charge of dispensing the money (because the hierarchy goes like this: the grant comes to the org that this other lady, let's call her Helen, is in charge of, then Helen dispenses the money to Fran's firm, which then pays me) were going to have more work for me to do in year two. This has been false. I will say this for Fran: she's had other priorities to a degree, and it's a very legitimate thing. She became pregnant with her second child after she and her husband had to try really hard. I'm genuinely happy for them. That said, they don't need the money. Fran's husband is rich AF and they're bougie as hell. I'm not saying Fran is bad at what she does. To the contrary, she works her rear end off and is genuinely good at what she does. But while the news she gave me today doesn't really matter to her, to me it's kinda Earth shattering because I'm trying to make my way. She's already made it. The news I got today was that there would be no renewal of the contract and that Fran would be "taking it easy for a year, possibly two" to focus on her family. Absolutely legitimate, but also the other partner that WAS there recently left for another firm that I can't possibly do any work for (probably because he saw the writing on the wall, tbh). Here's where my parents come in. In the three days preceding the penultimate meeting of the contract, there's a three day Disability Policy Summit in DC. My mom thought we should go. I thought it was lunacy, partly because it's a thing I'd be doing AT COST to me, and also because Jesus Christ that week is gonna be insane. DC is like 6.5 hours drive for me I think, I'd spend three days exhausting myself, then turn around, stay overnight in a hotel AGAIN, and finally do the paid work. My mom and dad are all about these things being opportunities to network, maybe this is the thing that gets me to my big break, etc. Kinda the unholy lovechild of Boomer Bootstrap Culture and the toxicity of Hollywood or any industry where you need to break in or pay your dues. I've been paying my dues for OVER HALF MY LIFE, and yet any time I exhibit pushback to it, the response I get from both parents is "That's the way this industry works, either deal with it or get a 9-5 job and/or go to grad school." I don't want to go to grad school. Yeah, it'd open up doors, but for one, it just doesn't feel right to me, I'm not sure what I'd go for, and furthermore, I'm in the extremely rare strata of having NO STUDENT DEBT. NONE. Everyone around me is trying to get me to get a government job or be a lawyer, both of which make me absolutely loving miserable at the thought of. So basically, my mom is convinced I either need to accept a 70/30 or 65/35 ratio of working "for exposure" or resume building or what the gently caress ever vs. actually getting paid, or I need to go to grad school because everyone around me is 100% convinced that's the only way for me to get a better ratio. What's worse still is I can't entirely convince myself they're wrong. There's no money in the greater good, so to a degree I need to accept this hellscape or give in to the machine and take a path that really doesn't feel like my own and I hate everything about it. I'm going to email Helen to ask her if there's anything else their org would potentially want me to contract for since she seems to genuinely love what I've been doing for them and hey, who knows, and there are potentially other options besides hellscape and path I hate that I'm kinda mulling over, but they're really loving longshots (more aggressively pursuing public speaking, getting more into my writing to try to create other products for myself, etc.) and I have basically no faith in myself or my path right now. I was so loving hopeful a couple years ago. I thought I'd found my thing and was blazing a trail and had finally got out of Professional Volunteer Hell, but now, here I am. I think that mostly explains it. Christ, that was exhausting to type out.
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Feb 4, 2020 07:47
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*hug*
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Feb 4, 2020 08:07
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Aaaaand my goddamn bedtime headphones broke again. One of the only things that helps me sleep these days. They break like, every three months like clockwork, and my mom hasn't even sent in the last broken set for repairs, meaning I'm 100% hosed on that front unless we pay for another pair which is dumb. Jesus Christ almighty this day.
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Feb 4, 2020 08:12
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That's a raw deal friend, you're doing hard work and not being appreciated, I hope people get it soon.
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Feb 4, 2020 08:12
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SamuraiFoochs posted:Aaaaand my goddamn bedtime headphones broke again. One of the only things that helps me sleep these days. They break like, every three months like clockwork, and my mom hasn't even sent in the last broken set for repairs, meaning I'm 100% hosed on that front unless we pay for another pair which is dumb. Jesus Christ almighty this day. I need my white noise though.
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Feb 4, 2020 08:19
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I've now had two therapists say that I'd probably be great at advocacy work but part of me is thinking that there is absolutely no way I will be able to generate the spoons to put a ton of effort into something with no tangible reward. It sucks to be (at least potentially) decent at something you'll never be able to monetize so I can feel your pain in some small way Foochs. (I know it's not exactly the same I'm just not sure how to word it right now). ChrisBTY fucked around with this message at 08:26 on Feb 4, 2020 |
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Feb 4, 2020 08:21
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Spiderdrake posted:Are you using them for white noise? I found headphones worse than just putting the laptop near my head and blasting rain sounds off youtube. Nope, I'm using them as basically a combo of headphones and a sleep mask (which is what they're meant for).
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Feb 4, 2020 08:32
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Chris James 2 posted:My Mario rankings: I adore that game but motherfucking PEARLS traumatized me for life
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Feb 4, 2020 11:00
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Chris James 2 posted:My Mario rankings: This is a hosed up spelling of thousand year door
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Feb 4, 2020 13:36
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Captain Magic posted:BOTW is so goddamn good. My second play through I barely touched the story for like fifty hours, just smashing rocks and slamming shrines and making my hero’s path highlight the screen. BOTW, and all Zelda games, are bad. Super Mario 3D World is the best Mario and I hope it gets ported to Switch soon.
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Feb 4, 2020 14:10
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bradzilla posted:BOTW, and all Zelda games, are bad. BOTW owns, Zelda owns but... I hear from friends 3D world was awesome but they can't articulate why, I never got to play, what makes it so good?
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Feb 4, 2020 14:13
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Eat My Fuc posted:BOTW owns, Zelda owns but... Insanely good level design, insanely good music, really good powerups, controls like a dream, is perfectly playable with any number of players, the super-challenging special final level is actually a fair challenge and not bullshit. It's just, so loving fun to play.
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Feb 4, 2020 14:19
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bradzilla posted:Insanely good level design, insanely good music, really good powerups, controls like a dream, is perfectly playable with any number of players, the super-challenging special final level is actually a fair challenge and not bullshit. It's just, so loving fun to play. I hope they port it too. Oddyssey was a disappointment to me, the shine mechanic screamed mobile game design in a way I didn't dig.
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Feb 4, 2020 14:25
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3D World is really fun, yeah. Posting on Drew's 69.
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Feb 4, 2020 14:37
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Starship 69
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Feb 4, 2020 15:46
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bradzilla posted:Insanely good level design, insanely good music, really good powerups, controls like a dream, is perfectly playable with any number of players, the super-challenging special final level is actually a fair challenge and not bullshit. It's just, so loving fun to play. God I want them to port it to the switch so bad. 69
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Feb 4, 2020 16:10
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coconono posted:Watching Discovery, and its actually good? People on this show def read the old FASA sourcebooks. The era of spaceboat fights is ending and these are the people in its twilight. Six episodes in and almost no Big Speeches On The Bridge. A lot more action oriented, but given the setting it makes sense. But I guess after what the gently caress ever that poo poo Enterprise was, all bets are off on what makes a trek show a trek show. The teleport drive gimmick is a bit much tho. I wont get into Disco opinions because those always seem to devolve into a garbage fire of a conversation, but I will absolutely stand up for Enterprise being...better than you remember it, at least. Certainly better than Voyager (even accounting for there being 3 less seasons of it than VOY to compare). It had a lot of great ideas and the third and fourth seasons were showing great growth, it was mostly hamstrung by Rick Berman being so deeply involved with it (IIRC he had like 34 writing credits, mostly in The Bad Years of ENT) and it having an absolutely horrendous finale that has stuck with people more than the season that preceded it. DS9 is the best, page 69 is the best
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Feb 4, 2020 17:06
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Enterprise bothered me because they reduced the bridge noises to random background audio. They even threw in the old door whoosh for some strange reason. Terrible theme song too. I miss the orchestral pieces. But lets all 69 on DS9
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Feb 4, 2020 17:19
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Waiting on a phone interview and my dog decided right now is the time to play with her squeaky toys
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Feb 4, 2020 17:29
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A couple of months ago my dog ate some uncooked yeasty dough and it turns out that’s like the most lethal thing possible for dogs to eat. They can vomit chocolate, but the yeast ferments, releases body-distending gas, fucks with their blood sugar, and is so sticky they can’t throw it all up That’s my story about dogs
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Feb 4, 2020 18:08
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i hope you all enjoy page 69, the page that 69s you. once this page is full, you can go back and measure the length of the page, and determine which post is the genitals going into your mouth, and which post is the mouth on your genitals.
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Feb 4, 2020 18:53
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Feb 4, 2020 18:59
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Feb 4, 2020 19:09
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my smaller dog doesn't have squeaky toys because she immediately rips them open within 15 seconds of getting one and takes the squeaker out and keeps that as her pet/trophy. she sometimes becomes distressed if she doesn't have a squeaker and cries for me to find one whereever she has hidden them and give it to her. so it's sort of cute but at the same time not cute at all, and i feel bad for baby muffin. do not worry though. i do all i can for the puppa, and she is smart and will not swallow the squeaker. it's the big kind, not the little hard whistle kind. 69
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Feb 4, 2020 19:12
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my dog sleeps under the baby's high chair because he is a lazy hound and stays where the droppings are plentiful
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Feb 4, 2020 19:14
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thought i bombed the poo poo out of that phone interview but they invited me for an in-person so idk.
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Feb 4, 2020 19:23
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when you get there say "i know what this is" and stuff like that without being specific. in case they are playing a prank on you by bringing you in, but they might not be, so don't say "prank" or "joke" or anything lik ethat. Just every now and then say "i get it" and Things like that, so you can't look like a fool no matter what
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Feb 4, 2020 19:33
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anymore during phone interviews I just tell them I need money to fuel my drug habits and when they ask what drugs I tell them its living. I'm addicted to living.
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Feb 4, 2020 19:36
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Cavauro posted:when you get there say "i know what this is" and stuff like that without being specific. in case they are playing a prank on you by bringing you in, but they might not be, so don't say "prank" or "joke" or anything lik ethat. Just every now and then say "i get it" and Things like that, so you can't look like a fool no matter what
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Feb 4, 2020 19:52
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At the end you can pretend to shake their hands graciously but really you had your own peepee all over your hand from the very beginning. Boy does it stink by now. old peepee smells the worst, and now they do too
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Feb 4, 2020 20:02
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my cat has cancer
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Feb 4, 2020 20:18
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I'm sorry that your cat and you have to go through this. If you would like to discuss the hardships of the situation, the prognosis, or anything else, this place should welcome it. If you only needed to get that information off your chest then you have my condolences.
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Feb 4, 2020 20:31
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I was starting to feel better and just got in another argument with my mother for the grave sin of saying "Hey, I'm trying to explain to you where some of this friction comes from as calmly as possible so that we can both try to talk about these things more rationally rather than just fighting" at which point she just went on the attack harder and tried to angrily say why she's just the concerned mother and there couldn't POSSIBLY be any shared responsibility in an interaction between adult humans. God damnit why do I even try
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Feb 4, 2020 20:34
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Junpei Hyde posted:my cat has cancer No. 
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Feb 4, 2020 20:35
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one time I got sad for a friend because I thought their cat had cancer. Turns out it was one of those hairless ones with an eating problem. Then he got fat and mean(AKA the best catbination). that's my cat cancer story.
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Feb 4, 2020 20:36
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SamuraiFoochs posted:
That. Sounds. Exhausting Foochs. I have somewhat similar parents, at any point I am exhausted or WANT to relax, I am regularly shamed into feeling that I am lazy. After working all day doing various tasks of manual labor, customer service, janitorial duties, and as of a few months back juggling school to get a second associate degree. Nothing is ever good enough, I doubt I could ever work hard enough. God forbid taking a few hours to rest or unwind, instead of pressing my face against a laptop screen to find better employment. And not one that fits my skill set but because beep boop beep compooters means all the same poo poo and not really specialized. Ffs working a Geek Squad job will not help me get something in digital forensics or cyber security. It's a generational gap thing, along with not having some kind of comprehension that poo poo is harder in so many different ways as opposed to how things used to be. SamuraiFoochs posted:I was starting to feel better and just got in another argument with my mother for the grave sin of saying "Hey, I'm trying to explain to you where some of this friction comes from as calmly as possible so that we can both try to talk about these things more rationally rather than just fighting" at which point she just went on the attack harder and tried to angrily say why she's just the concerned mother and there couldn't POSSIBLY be any shared responsibility in an interaction between adult humans. Maybe we are related Foochs! Good loving Lord I know this argument really well.
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Feb 4, 2020 20:37
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SamuraiFoochs posted:I was starting to feel better and just got in another argument with my mother for the grave sin of saying "Hey, I'm trying to explain to you where some of this friction comes from as calmly as possible so that we can both try to talk about these things more rationally rather than just fighting" at which point she just went on the attack harder and tried to angrily say why she's just the concerned mother and there couldn't POSSIBLY be any shared responsibility in an interaction between adult humans. The frustration from this is so strong that it emanates off the post and causes me to be fed up. All of your feelings and desires about your career and life that you've posted on here seem very level-headed and the crucial tone you use about all of it is more than warranted. There is either a complete breakdown in communication that you've tried your best to bridge unsuccessfully, or your parent(s) is/are just outright wrong. Yet shutting them out is impossible. I'm sorry Foochs, but anywhere that you are able to hold your ground about all of this, you definitely should keep up the fight, if at all possible. Maybe continuing to approach the situation the way you did, while also explaining the effort that goes into doing so, could eventually crack that shell. Perhaps it's all coming down to worry for her, but even so, your mom definitely needs to not hide behind a 'role' like that. Cavauro fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Feb 4, 2020 |
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Feb 4, 2020 20:42
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My parents don't give much a poo poo about me and never really have. I wish they did but not like y'alls.
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Feb 4, 2020 20:44
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| # ? May 25, 2024 22:12 |
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I had hover parents. was chipped and everything. Still have the dent in my foot from when I dug it out so I could go drinking with my friends at the bright age of 15. But after college they kinda chilled out. But most of them died too which kinda helped.
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Feb 4, 2020 20:47
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